Status
Available
Series
Description
Fiction. Literature. Science Fiction. HTML: Being undead sucks. Literally. Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue. And that really sucks..
User reviews
LibraryThing member saramllr
Christopher Moore is the king of vampire fiction. Suck it, Stephenie Meyer.
LibraryThing member whitreidtan
Following on Moore's hilariously warped Bloodsucking Fiends, this novel takes up where that one ends. Opening with Tommy chastizing (probably too polite a term, incidentally) his girlfriend, Jody, for turning him into one of the undead himself, this is really a long and twisted look at Tommy and
In true Moore fashion, there are giggles and nuttiness and entertainment galore in the pages of this one. I will say that I didn't love You Suck as much as I did Bloodsucking Fiends, but I have high hopes for the third (Bite Me) as not only was the end of this one left gapingly wide open but it was also a bit rushed. I was slow to warm up to Abby Normal herself and found her early journal entries ridiculous and overwrought but as the novel progressed, I realized that they were written this way intentionally and that her fawning over the whole concept of vampirism making way for cool appraisal and steely nerves was itself a major plot development. In the end, I enjoyed the book and will be curious to see where the madcap vampire series careens next. Moore has a very warped sense of humor and he's not for everyone but I think he's a kick. More discerning and sensitive folks will want to know about the profanity, graphic vampire sex, and complete crassness that dots the pages of the book. But if this sort of thing doesn't bother you, you're in for a ride.
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Jody's evolving relationship and the mundane details of life as vampires. For instance, it is incredibly important, when a vampire, to have a minion to whom you can delegate your daylight hours tasks. In Tommy and Jody's case, now that Tommy is himself a vampire, they recruit the cheerful and therefore inauthentic goth girl, Abby Normal. She is to do their bidding and protect them from the vampire hunting Animals, former Safeway night stockers and pot heads with whom Tommy used to work. Many of the characters from the first book make appearances in this one with the addition of some completely new kooky folks. There's Blue, the money hungry and completely sadistic prostitute who has dyed herself entirely blue. There's a homeless alcoholic with a fat cat who provides a reasonably stable blood source for Tommy and Jody as long as they keep him supplied with alcohol (nevermind that his blood makes them beyond tipsy). There are more twists than in a bag of pretzels as the vampire population in the Bay area explodes with unintended consequences and a completely original resolution.In true Moore fashion, there are giggles and nuttiness and entertainment galore in the pages of this one. I will say that I didn't love You Suck as much as I did Bloodsucking Fiends, but I have high hopes for the third (Bite Me) as not only was the end of this one left gapingly wide open but it was also a bit rushed. I was slow to warm up to Abby Normal herself and found her early journal entries ridiculous and overwrought but as the novel progressed, I realized that they were written this way intentionally and that her fawning over the whole concept of vampirism making way for cool appraisal and steely nerves was itself a major plot development. In the end, I enjoyed the book and will be curious to see where the madcap vampire series careens next. Moore has a very warped sense of humor and he's not for everyone but I think he's a kick. More discerning and sensitive folks will want to know about the profanity, graphic vampire sex, and complete crassness that dots the pages of the book. But if this sort of thing doesn't bother you, you're in for a ride.
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LibraryThing member Jenners26
Story Overview
"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!"
So begins the witty, sarcastic, bawdy romp that is You Suck -- a vampire book that makes other vampire books look positively Puritanical by comparison.
Tommy Flood awakens to find that his vampire girlfriend Jody has changed him into a vampire so
Still, a vampire needs minions, which leads to the acquisition of Abby Normal -- teenage Goth and vampire wannabe -- whose diary entries are interspersed throughout the book and chronicle the travails of serving the Vampyre Flood and the Countess.
But even with a minion, Jody and Tommy's problems aren't quite solved. There is the little problem of the ancient vampire who created Jody and is currently trapped in bronze -- where Tommy and his band of vampire-fighting Safeway stock boys (the Animals) put him after robbing him of all his money and blowing up his yacht. And when Tommy's plan to dump the bronze statue containing the ancient vampire in the San Francisco Bay doesn't quite go as planned and the old vampire escapes -- well, trouble is afoot.
But wait...that's not all. The Animals are back from Vegas and have blown almost all the stolen money. But they are not alone. They are accompanied by Blue -- a Vegas hooker whose shtick is that her entire body is dyed blue (you know, like the Blue Man Group). She seems to have a supernatural hold on the Animals (or maybe it is the drugs), but she is slowly but surely getting all of their stolen money. Seeking help from their leader Tommy, the Animals are stunned to find that Tommy is not quite himself anymore. But Blue sees an opportunity.
And did I mention the murder investigation into the mysterious serial killer whose been terrorizing San Francisco and leaving the victims drained of blood?
My Thoughts
This book is not for everybody. I'm just going to go ahead and say that up-front. There is graphic language, drug use, sex scenes, violence, corruption of minors, drunkeness -- well, there is a little bit of everything. If material of this nature offends you, this book is not for you. However, if this stuff doesn't bother you and you have a dark sense of humor, this book is a must read! I just loved it. Let me put it this way, if you like movies like Pulp Fiction and find them funny, then you'll love this book. It has the same dark, twisted sense of humor.
After reading the Twilight books (which take vampires very very seriously), it was fun to see an author have a bit of fun with the concept of vampires. From making fun of Goth kids (who "outvampire" Tommy when he goes to a club looking for Abby) to Abby's reverential treatment of "the Vampyre Flood" (at least until she finds out he's only been a vampire for a week or so -- not centuries), Moore has a lot of fun with the vampire myths. One chapter, simply called "The Last Poop," reads in its entirety:
"So that was it?"
"Yep."
"Never again?"
"Nope."
"Not ever?"
"Nope."
"I feel like I should save them or something."
"Would you just flush and come out of there."
From worrying about Christmas gifts for their families to missing coffee to figuring out how to feed without murdering the innocent (they target those who are terminally ill and offer them mercy killing), Tommy and Jody retain much of their human qualities and compassion. And when Jody talks about how she never really felt safe until she became a vampire, I nodded my head in recognition. (What woman doesn't feel vulnerable when walking alone in a city? Wouldn't superhuman powers, strength and speed make you feel invincible too?)
Moore has a wonderfully sick sense of humor and isn't afraid to to use it. I thought the book was a lot of fun. I'll definitely be seeking out more books by this author -- which include titles such as Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, The Stupidest Angel, Practical Demonkeeping, and Island of the Sequined Love Nun. I suspect I'm in for quite a wild ride.
A Side Note: Don't underestimate the fun of reading a book entitled You Suck. I was reading this during my son's karate lesson and saw quite a few people eyeing up the cover and furrowing their eyebrows and seeming to think: "Is she trying to tell us something?" It was kind of a cheap thrill.
My Final Recommendation
If you have a dark sense of humor and don't mind graphic language and material, this book might be right up your alley -- especially if the idea of a bawdy, witty romp that has fun with vampirism appeals to you. However, if this type of material isn't your cup of tea, I'd skip this book and look for something a little tamer. Although I found the book very amusing and fun, it isn't for everyone.
"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!"
So begins the witty, sarcastic, bawdy romp that is You Suck -- a vampire book that makes other vampire books look positively Puritanical by comparison.
Tommy Flood awakens to find that his vampire girlfriend Jody has changed him into a vampire so
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she has company for the rest of time. Although at first he is a bit peeved, Tommy quickly finds that being a vampire isn't so bad -- the heightened senses make their sex even more exciting. However, the problem of food quickly arises. Jody used to feed on Tommy to keep herself alive -- but now her food source is gone and there are two hungry mouths to feed. They solve this problem creatively -- borrowing a homeless man's extremely large cat. In exchange for some booze, the cat is available for their nightly feasting.Still, a vampire needs minions, which leads to the acquisition of Abby Normal -- teenage Goth and vampire wannabe -- whose diary entries are interspersed throughout the book and chronicle the travails of serving the Vampyre Flood and the Countess.
But even with a minion, Jody and Tommy's problems aren't quite solved. There is the little problem of the ancient vampire who created Jody and is currently trapped in bronze -- where Tommy and his band of vampire-fighting Safeway stock boys (the Animals) put him after robbing him of all his money and blowing up his yacht. And when Tommy's plan to dump the bronze statue containing the ancient vampire in the San Francisco Bay doesn't quite go as planned and the old vampire escapes -- well, trouble is afoot.
But wait...that's not all. The Animals are back from Vegas and have blown almost all the stolen money. But they are not alone. They are accompanied by Blue -- a Vegas hooker whose shtick is that her entire body is dyed blue (you know, like the Blue Man Group). She seems to have a supernatural hold on the Animals (or maybe it is the drugs), but she is slowly but surely getting all of their stolen money. Seeking help from their leader Tommy, the Animals are stunned to find that Tommy is not quite himself anymore. But Blue sees an opportunity.
And did I mention the murder investigation into the mysterious serial killer whose been terrorizing San Francisco and leaving the victims drained of blood?
My Thoughts
This book is not for everybody. I'm just going to go ahead and say that up-front. There is graphic language, drug use, sex scenes, violence, corruption of minors, drunkeness -- well, there is a little bit of everything. If material of this nature offends you, this book is not for you. However, if this stuff doesn't bother you and you have a dark sense of humor, this book is a must read! I just loved it. Let me put it this way, if you like movies like Pulp Fiction and find them funny, then you'll love this book. It has the same dark, twisted sense of humor.
After reading the Twilight books (which take vampires very very seriously), it was fun to see an author have a bit of fun with the concept of vampires. From making fun of Goth kids (who "outvampire" Tommy when he goes to a club looking for Abby) to Abby's reverential treatment of "the Vampyre Flood" (at least until she finds out he's only been a vampire for a week or so -- not centuries), Moore has a lot of fun with the vampire myths. One chapter, simply called "The Last Poop," reads in its entirety:
"So that was it?"
"Yep."
"Never again?"
"Nope."
"Not ever?"
"Nope."
"I feel like I should save them or something."
"Would you just flush and come out of there."
From worrying about Christmas gifts for their families to missing coffee to figuring out how to feed without murdering the innocent (they target those who are terminally ill and offer them mercy killing), Tommy and Jody retain much of their human qualities and compassion. And when Jody talks about how she never really felt safe until she became a vampire, I nodded my head in recognition. (What woman doesn't feel vulnerable when walking alone in a city? Wouldn't superhuman powers, strength and speed make you feel invincible too?)
Moore has a wonderfully sick sense of humor and isn't afraid to to use it. I thought the book was a lot of fun. I'll definitely be seeking out more books by this author -- which include titles such as Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, The Stupidest Angel, Practical Demonkeeping, and Island of the Sequined Love Nun. I suspect I'm in for quite a wild ride.
A Side Note: Don't underestimate the fun of reading a book entitled You Suck. I was reading this during my son's karate lesson and saw quite a few people eyeing up the cover and furrowing their eyebrows and seeming to think: "Is she trying to tell us something?" It was kind of a cheap thrill.
My Final Recommendation
If you have a dark sense of humor and don't mind graphic language and material, this book might be right up your alley -- especially if the idea of a bawdy, witty romp that has fun with vampirism appeals to you. However, if this type of material isn't your cup of tea, I'd skip this book and look for something a little tamer. Although I found the book very amusing and fun, it isn't for everyone.
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LibraryThing member Meggo
This story of vampires in San Francisco and their minions was curiously disappointing. I never developed a sense of empathy for the characters, and in fact by the end I was rooting for the "bad guy" of the book, the elder vampire. Definitely not one of Moore's better works, it felt like he was just
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phoning this one in. Avoid this book and pick up one of his better works, like Lamb, or the Stupidest Angel, either one of which was much more entertaining. Show Less
LibraryThing member snat
Funny, with some definitely quotable moments. However, for me, Moore's vampire series is the weakest of his work. That's not an insult--I still enjoy them and definitely snicker out loud in ways that make those around me pick up their things and stealthily move away from the crazy person, but
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they're a little too "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" sometimes in their humor. What impresses me with Moore is that, often among all of the wacky chaos, he can sneak up on you with a beautiful turn of phrase or moment that catches you off-guard. The scene where Jody feeds off a man with terminal cancer is beautiful and touching without being maudlin. Don't worry that there are too many moments like this, though, as there's plenty of "heinous fuckery most foul." Show Less
LibraryThing member rmboland
The sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends. Though equally funny in dialogue, it lacked somewhat in the storyline, and was filled with spelling errors and small plot holes-maybe Moore rushed this one? It was a great read regardless, but don't judge Moores' writing abilities based on THIS book-the mans a
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comedic GENIUS i swear. Show Less
LibraryThing member DanaJean
In the follow-up to Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck follows our fledgling vampires as they figure out their world as the newly dead. I love Moore's casual wit and humor, and it was fun to see characters from his other works make appearances throughout the story. Again, a cute, quick read. I
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personally loved how this story ended and I'm excited to see that he will be continuing Tommy and Jody's story in his new book Bite Me. Show Less
LibraryThing member lpg3d
This was the first Christopher Moore book that I have read, and it certainly won't be the last. It's a very fun romp through the streets of San Francisco following two vampires in love.
LibraryThing member irunsjh
Another winner by Christopher Moore. I think he has one of the best voices in American literature at the moment. I think this was a very valid continuation of the Bloodsucking Fiends. I am looking forward to seeing what happens in the next book, Bite Me. I will be adding that to the to be read pile
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very quickly. Show Less
LibraryThing member bookappeal
As the second book of a series, the beginning drops the reader into the middle of an ongoing story but it doesn't much matter as Moore spins his outrageous tale. Jody, a young vamp, turns her even younger boyfriend, Tommy, and then they try to escape his vampire-hunting friends (who are up to their
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necks in trouble with a blue-skinned, enterprising prostitute) and Jody's ancient (and possessive) mentor with the help of a barely teenage Goth girl who is desperate for excitement. Moore's books are definitely not for everyone. This vampire love story is replete with violence, profanity, and sexual content but it's also downright funny. 4 stars for ingenuity! Show Less
LibraryThing member claudiabowman
Fun, like its predecessor. Didn't care much for the ending, but must admit it was clever.
LibraryThing member allysther
So just what does Christopher Moore have against cats?
Yet another laugh out loud book from Moore. This one is a bit shorter than some others, but was a good read at any lenght. It was written as a gift to his long time readers, and it shows. This is not a book I would reccomend to a first time
Yet another laugh out loud book from Moore. This one is a bit shorter than some others, but was a good read at any lenght. It was written as a gift to his long time readers, and it shows. This is not a book I would reccomend to a first time
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reader, but it is not to be missed by a fan. Show Less
LibraryThing member jeffreybrayne
Being the sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends, I may have expected too much. It was good, but not great and lost steam about half-way through. It should definitely be read and some of the cross-referencing of characters is interesting.
LibraryThing member figre
It looks like Christopher Moore may have peaked with Lamb. Moore’s work is always entertaining, and his skills seem to grow with each book. And Lamb was just outstanding. Pick that one up and read it. After that, The Stupidest Angel was really good, too. Not as good as Lamb, but that was to be
And now comes You Suck, and, while still a good read, while still entertaining, it feels like Moore has just fallen back to where he was a while ago. The irreverence is there, the spots of humor are there, but this feels more formulaic. Throw in the vampires, throw in the wild and wacky life of those vampires, and you have just another Moore book. Now, all that being said, just another Moore book is still a good read and, as I already said, entertaining. It’s just that I think I’m starting to expect a little (you’ll excuse the expression) more. If you have not read anything by Moore, this is not the one to start with – you can find better. On the other hand, if you are a fan, or someone who just likes his writing, you will like this one – you’ll just wish you had gotten that something extra we’re all starting to expect.
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expected. Then came A Dirty Job which was also good. It felt a little more like the normal Moore book, but it was still a good read. And now comes You Suck, and, while still a good read, while still entertaining, it feels like Moore has just fallen back to where he was a while ago. The irreverence is there, the spots of humor are there, but this feels more formulaic. Throw in the vampires, throw in the wild and wacky life of those vampires, and you have just another Moore book. Now, all that being said, just another Moore book is still a good read and, as I already said, entertaining. It’s just that I think I’m starting to expect a little (you’ll excuse the expression) more. If you have not read anything by Moore, this is not the one to start with – you can find better. On the other hand, if you are a fan, or someone who just likes his writing, you will like this one – you’ll just wish you had gotten that something extra we’re all starting to expect.
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LibraryThing member neverwondernights
A little on the light-side--something expected for comedies. If you want a dark and heavy novel about Anne Rice vampires, then this isn't it (actually it's a slight jibe at them). I wouldn't say he's the best author. Like I said, it's light. If you want a day-book or something on the train, then
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this would be a good book for that. Show Less
LibraryThing member bookcoll
Not as good as "A Dirty Job", but still plenty of laugh-out-loud moments.
LibraryThing member brianinbuffalo
At about the midpoint in this mildly entertaining work, it dawned on me. I was deriving the same kind of mindless pleasure experiencing Moore's work as I used to derive from watching Scooby Doo cartoons on Saturday mornings.
The difference, of course, is that the animated pooch's antics lasted only
My guess is that this tome would make for a more effective light-hearted cinematic romance romp (but keep it under 80 minutes, producers.) Despite the intriguing concept, "You Suck" just doesn't cut it as "must read" fiction. Still, there are some memorable -- even hilarious moments. I especially enjoyed the insights and antics of Abby Normal.
The difference, of course, is that the animated pooch's antics lasted only
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15 or 20 minutes (not to mention the fact that I was 30 years younger.)My guess is that this tome would make for a more effective light-hearted cinematic romance romp (but keep it under 80 minutes, producers.) Despite the intriguing concept, "You Suck" just doesn't cut it as "must read" fiction. Still, there are some memorable -- even hilarious moments. I especially enjoyed the insights and antics of Abby Normal.
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LibraryThing member JustMe869
You Suck is the continuation of the vampire love story begun in Blood Sucking Fiends. Of course there are complications, including an 800 year old vampire who is really pissed and blue hooker. I like Christopher Moore. It is nice to discover a new author, although you need to have a slightly sick,
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twisted mind to appreciate his humor. I have already bought another of his books. Show Less
LibraryThing member BookBindingBobby
This book...sheesh, I could hardly stay awake as I read it. Cookie-cutter characters, the lack of an actual plot, annoying and often pointless banter, all add together to make this thing a true bore.
LibraryThing member gonzobrarian
You Suck is the sequel to The Author Guy's foray into humorous, bizarro vamp-lit, and it's just as zany and enjoyable as its predecessor, Bloodsucking Fiends. I won't go too much into the story except to say that C. Thomas Flood is now forced to accept his newly acquired pale force, a first
I will say though, that Moore has a definite knack for the unexpected in his tales. He simply can't be categorized an author of the funny, since any characters are fair game for an imaginative and grizzly maim or demise. That being said, his ability to absorb the ever-changing and complex vernacular of today's disaffected youth is really an experience to savor, a prime example being his excerpts from the diary of Abby Normal. I can't think of any better description than...gonzo.
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reaction being to promptly apply liberal amounts of both orange-hued tanning lotion and intense monkey love with his partner in blood, Jody Stroud. Add to that goth-chick and minion extraordinaire Abby Normal, a blue entrepreneur of the night, vamps obsessed with tracksuits, and a huge shaved cat named Chet. That's it, go read the thing for yourself.I will say though, that Moore has a definite knack for the unexpected in his tales. He simply can't be categorized an author of the funny, since any characters are fair game for an imaginative and grizzly maim or demise. That being said, his ability to absorb the ever-changing and complex vernacular of today's disaffected youth is really an experience to savor, a prime example being his excerpts from the diary of Abby Normal. I can't think of any better description than...gonzo.
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LibraryThing member MissElliot
While this wasn't my favorite Christopher Moore book, I found it very enjoyable. Not quite as much of the snarky humor as in "A Dirty Job" or "Lamb" (my favorites), and I didn't relate to the characters quite as much. I liked the subtle references to his other books, and the bits from Abby's
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journal were pretty funny. Show Less
LibraryThing member bibliophile26
Moore is just hilarious and this book didn't disappoint. It is the sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends and picks up with Tommy's awakening as a vampire, being turned by his girlfriend. Much zanyness occurs as they have to find a minion and are still in danger from Elijah, the ancient vampire who sired
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Jody. I laughed out loud many, many times and loved the blue hooker and the big cat guy. I must read more of Moore's books. Show Less
LibraryThing member erinclark
Just finished this last night as I lay on the couch recovering from the flu - ugh. Thank God I had something funny to keep my mind off my misery. I read 'Blood Sucking Fiends' several years ago and was happy to revisit some of the same characters from that book again. Especially enjoyed Abby
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Normals diary - is that what Goth kids are thinking! Ha! Show Less
LibraryThing member lesleydawn
Very funny. Abby Normal is one of the best characters, and I really enjoyed getting her perspective. Hopefully we will see more of her in the future. I'm also in awe of Christopher Moore's ability to intertwine the plots of his novels. Fans will be tickled to see characters that they have grown to
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love, and to pick out tidbits from other stories. New comers will enjoy the easy prose, and hilarious dialogue. This book is a win/win for everyone. Show Less
LibraryThing member AkMat
One of my all time favorite Moore books. Great, fun read.