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Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML: Revised and Updated, with a New Chapter on Trauma and Anxiety, a List of Resources, and More Over 7 Million Copies Sold A cultural phenomenon that has helped heal millions of readers, this modern classic holds the key to understanding codependency and unlocking its hold on your life. As heard on Glennon Doyle's We Can Do Hard Things podcast. Melody Beattie's compassionate and insightful look into codependency�??the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another�??has guided millions of readers toward the understanding that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins. Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one's self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent�??�??and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie's own life and the lives of those she's counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness. This revised edition includes an all-new chapter on trauma and anxiety�??subjects Beattie has long felt necessary to address within the context of codependency�??making it even more relevant today than it was when it first entered the national conversation over… (more)
User reviews
The original target audience for this book (and its concepts) were significant others of alcoholics. Yet many (including myself) have found the patterns
At the time I read this, I was just getting out of a bad marriage. I was terribly depressed to the point of being near-non-functional. This book gave me some basic building blocks for climbing that first step towards sanity. I learned I didn't have to be absorbed by someone else to be happy. I learned I needed to take care of myself first, then others.
With a little imagination, the basic dynamics detailed in this book can also be seen in social dynamics of larger groups. The unhealthy clinging, manipulations, and drama that lead to petty infighting (in smaller groups) and political dysfunction (on a societal scale).
A Very Personal Perspective: I finally launched (well,
"A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior."
By page 37, I am interested when the author acknowledges that she is not an expert on codependence, and does not know for a fact if it is an illness. And as she offers to continue the "brief history", it is evident that she is passionate about what is and is not real with regard to this apparently self-destructive predisposition. As she goes on to describe codependence, I am struck by the thought that she is describing every compassionate human being that ever lived, every humanitarian that made a difference, and every individual who ever reached out a hand to a person in need. I am reminded of a quote that has personified me and haunted me for most of my adult life."your greatest strength can become your greatest weakness." And I am compelled to read on, for how can something so purely benevolent become something so utterly self-destructive? I know that I am looking for an answer, and yet it is unlikely that I will find one. For if I have learned anything in this world, it is that there are no silver bullets, no ultimate solutions to end human mistakes, discomfort and error, to end human suffering and stagnation, or to remove roadblocks to human progress. There are only conversations and possibilities. Ultimately, we must choose our conversations, opt to expand our thoughts, and fearlessly open up to the possibilities. And so I read on.
Why I am afraid to tell you who I am? John Powell
How to be an assertive (not aggressive) woman in life, love and on the job. Jean Baer Carlton General Collection (158 B141