Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try-Hard Life

by Emily P. Freeman

Paperback, 2011

Status

Checked out
Due 5 June 2024

Call number

248.8

Collection

Publication

Revell (2011), 270 pages

Description

Religion & Spirituality. Nonfiction. Popular (in)courage blogger writes candidly to "good girls" and helps women see that a relationship with God is not another performance-based role, but a safe place to be yourself.

User reviews

LibraryThing member Adayriddle
Emily Freeman's new book is absolutely astounding! I think just about every woman I know could benefit from this easy to read book. I loved her writing style - it made it seem as if I were sitting with a friend having a discussion about life. So many of us struggle with being a good girl, good
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mother, good wife, good friend....and we don't even realize it.

In her book Emily Freeman gives the tools and suggestions to help the reader break free from this prison of "goodness" and into the freedom of a true identity and confidence in Christ. I can not think of one person I know that could not relate in some small way to this book. It seems that this author covered every angle and was transparent in her own personal struggle with being the good girl.

As a child of a broken and abusive home, to the wife of a Pastor and the mother of 4 home schooled children - I have most certainly felt the need to be every one's definition of Good. I have struggled with trying to meet every one's expectations only to be deeply frustrated at myself and angry when I could not do it.

Therefor this book was a welcomed and refreshing study. It reinforced the things I had already been applying to my life and reassured me that I am not the only one that has struggled with this very thing.

I recommend this book for every woman - I would also recommend it to teenagers. If we catch this before they are adults and give them the confidence to be who God created them to be then maybe they won't struggle with this same thing as adults
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LibraryThing member kherbrand
I could - can - relate to the good girl that Emily Freeman is talking about in this book.

"Still, I like knowing the rules. If the sign says Don't Touch, I don't touch. If it says Keep Out, I stay away. If the form is due on Friday, I'll turn it in on Thursday just in case. . . .And even though I
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admit to occasionally bringing candy into the movie theater, I am always worried that the ticket person will search my bags and throw me out for smuggling in a bottle of water and two Peppermint Patties." (Grace for the Good Girl, p68)

This is very much me - but it would be a can of soda and Three Musketeers! I was the good girl in high school - good grades, didn't like confrontations, didn't smoke, didn't really drink. . . When my dad passed away the end of my junior year, I kept the mask on for weeks that everything was fine before I could even let myself breakdown and cry. That mask of responsibility that I had to be strong for everybody else. And then I went into my first marriage.

"She also believed she was supposed to form her opinions around his. She loved peas but wouldn't cook them because she knew he didn't like them. She waited for Charlie to come home for dinner before she would eat. Even if he called ahead to tell her to start without him, she refused and suffered through hunger headaches for the sake of being wifely." (Grace for the Good Girl, p90)

This is pretty much how the first couple of years of my marriage went and when my husband would go out to sea, I would basically fall apart because I had no one to "be a wife" for, so I didn't know how to act. After we got a divorce, I came to realize that many of my "favorites" were not really my favorites at all - but were my ex-husbands favorites.

I often think know, who in their right mind thought that I was responsible enough to take care of three kids? I am 45 years old and still don't feel like a grown up. I listen to other women talk and feel like I am an inadequate teenager playing a game of dress up. Do I show this? Of course not. I am still pretty good at wearing masks. I know that taking off these masks is not something that is going to happen overnight.

"I understood at an early age about the first rescue. Jesus came to save sinners. He came for the lost, the broken, the hurt, and the lonely. He came to heal sick people and to raise dead people and to die for the sins of everyone.

Never once did I consider he also came to save me from myself. I'm a good girl who has done good things and has good intentions for the world around me. What harm could I do to myself? But then I reconsider, and I think of the effort and the work. And then the shame. I think of the worry that keeps me up at night and the fear that perhaps I've not done enough. I think of the way I compare myself and the pain that comes when I grasp for worth and security from my husband or my job or my children." (Grace for the Good Girl, p124)

I can remember when I quit work when my son was born 7 years ago, how I didn't feel "needed" because I wasn't working a 40-50 hour a week corporate job. I was feeling worthless, but didn't realize that I had staked so much of my worth on that job. It took me a very long time to come to realize that my worth as a person did not diminish because I was a stay-at-home mom. I still struggle with it from time to time.

I don't want to say that there are "steps" that she outlines in the last part of the book, because accepting Christ and living in Him should not and does not follow a checklist. I have yet to learn how to stop trying so hard to be good and do good in order to be good enough for Christ. He has already paid the ultimate price, all we have to do is receive Him and remain in Him. I need to learn to let go of trying to control everything and rest in the peace that ALL things are in Christ's hands and His control - then maybe I can take off all the masks once and for all. I am looking forward to rereading the last sections of this book to reaffirm what I know, but seem reluctant to embrace.
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LibraryThing member BrooklifeChurch
Do you want to dive into the Word of God. Find yourself immersed as you follow the outline of this study of the Holy Spirit.
LibraryThing member lauraodom
This book has been on my “to read” list for a while. I frequently read the author’s blog, Chatting at the Sky, and like her style. Reading this book made me wonder if somehow the author had gotten into my head, because there were SO MANY FEELINGS she shared that I could relate to. The quote,
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“I am never satisfied with me.” comes to mind. The book speaks on how we work so hard to be the good girl, and try so hard to meet unrealistic expectations we set on ourselves that we never “measure up” and always end up feeling inadequate. In the end, she explained that goodness is a fruit (like, fruit of the spirit fruit) that is not something we should work to, but is a result of living within the freedom that the grace of God gives us. I did a lot of highlighting in this one! I felt like this book was an encouraging friend, giving me some good perspectives on things, and most importantly, helping me realize I am not alone in some of my crazy idiosyncrasies. This quote for instance…

”I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel responsible. I was responsible to be right. I was responsible to look good. I was responsible to have it all together. I was responsible for being responsible. Just now at the coffee shop, the barista asked if I would like my chocolate chip cookie heated up. And I did. But I said no because I felt responsible for the extra work it would take for her to do so.”

I love how I can totally relate to that, and how the author is so real. I think this is a good book for any “good girl” to read. I gave it 4 of 5 stars on Goodreads.
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LibraryThing member abbieriddle
Emily Freeman's new book is absolutely astounding! I think just about every woman I know could benefit from this easy to read book. I loved her writing style - it made it seem as if I were sitting with a friend having a discussion about life. So many of us struggle with being a good girl, good
Show More
mother, good wife, good friend....and we don't even realize it.

In her book Emily Freeman gives the tools and suggestions to help the reader break free from this prison of "goodness" and into the freedom of a true identity and confidence in Christ. I can not think of one person I know that could not relate in some small way to this book. It seems that this author covered every angle and was transparent in her own personal struggle with being the good girl.

As a child of a broken and abusive home, to the wife of a Pastor and the mother of 4 home schooled children - I have most certainly felt the need to be every one's definition of Good. I have struggled with trying to meet every one's expectations only to be deeply frustrated at myself and angry when I could not do it.

Therefor this book was a welcomed and refreshing study. It reinforced the things I had already been applying to my life and reassured me that I am not the only one that has struggled with this very thing.

I recommend this book for every woman - I would also recommend it to teenagers. If we catch this before they are adults and give them the confidence to be who God created them to be then maybe they won't struggle with this same thing as adults
Show Less

Language

Original language

English

Original publication date

2011-09-01

Physical description

270 p.; 8.4 inches

ISBN

0800719840 / 9780800719845
Page: 0.223 seconds