This is getting old : zen thoughts on aging with humor and dignity

by Susan Moon

Paperback, 2010

Publication

Imprint: Boston, Massachusetts; and London, UK : Shambhala, 2010. Responsibility: Susan Moon. OCLC Number: 504278875. Physical: Text : 1 volume : xi11, 176 pages ; 22 cm.

Call number

Death / Moon

Barcode

BK-07879

ISBN

9781590307762

CSS Library Notes

Description: "In this-- funny collection of essays on the sometimes confusing, -- sometimes hilarious condition of being a worman over sixty, Susan Moon keeps her sense of humor-- fully engaged. She has included-- an essay on the graditude she feels for her weakening bones; observations on finding herself both an orphan and a matriarch following the death of her mother; musings on her tendency to regret the past; thoughts on how not to be afraid of loneliness; appreciation for the inner tomboy; and celebratory advice on how to regard 'senior moments.'"--Publisher's description.

Table of Contents: Cracks in the mind and body --
Changing relationships --
In the realm of the spirit.

FY2018 /

Physical description

xiii, 176 p.; 22 cm

Description

Biography & Autobiography. Religion & Spirituality. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:Lessons on the joys and challenges of growing older with grace and laughter, from a Zen teacher and writer who is "like a Buddhist Anne Lamott" (New York Journal of Books) Being a woman over sixty can sometimes be confusing, sometimes poignant, and sometimes hilarious. In this intimate and funny collection of essays, Zen Buddhist and writer Susan Moon maintains her sense of humor as she provides thoughtful insights on getting older. In This Is Getting Old, Moon touches on both the ups and downs of aging: Her bones are weakening, but she still feels her inner tomboy. She finds herself both an orphan and a matriarch following the death of her mother. She admits to sometimes regretting pieces of her past and to being afraid of loneliness. These musings, written with Moonâ??s signature wit and grace, are a touching exploration and celebration of life, age, and our â??senior momentsâ?â??plus a powerful reminder to be in… (more)

Language

Original language

English

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User reviews

LibraryThing member disturbingfurniture
I am young anough to be Susan Moon's child...so reading this at this point in my life is like talking to my mother about aging (which I never do beyond "boy my knees ache" and "getting old stinks"). I do study Buddhism, but more often it's Tibetan Buddhism mostly with Pema Chodron. I don't read a
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lot of non-fiction unless I am forced to (when I'm on an award committee for ALSC or for work)...and I think this is probably the first essay collection I have ever read cover to cover. So I don't think this book and I were destined to be best friends...but it was fantastic. It made me laugh, cry, and think. My sisters are not readers, Buddhists, nor are they old by any stretch but I am trying to think of ways to trick them into reading this because I believe they will get as much out of it as I did.

It's split into three sections of related essays: one on body aging, one of changing relationships, and one on spiritual matters, In each of the sections there were essays that made me cry. I laughed out loud several times. And, though I kept thinking how little I have in common with this older, braver, much more out-going, straight lady...I just kept nodding and feeling we have more in common. I am so very happy to have foud this book!
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LibraryThing member living2read
I can only think that the market for this book is quite limited. For those under 60, they will not understand what all the fuss is about (change happens quickly), and for those over 60, these stories are too depressing.
LibraryThing member Bellettres
Knowing almost nothing about Zen Buddhism, I wasn't sure what to expect. As it turned out, I very much enjoyed this collection of essays--particularly the second section, "Changing Relationships". My sister, divorced about three years ago, is about to turn 62, and is looking for a life partner. In
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the piece "In the Shade of My Own Tree," Susan Moon admits to the loneliness of being single, but is able, too, to recommend many aspects of living alone. This essay alone made the book worth reading. The author's style is simple, although she deals with complex ideas, and "simple" doesn't necessarily mean "easy". Recommended for anyone who's sixty-something or younger or older!
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LibraryThing member katkat50
Meeting Susan Moon in the pages of "This Is Getting Old" felt serendipitous to me, since I'm turning 60 in two weeks. I identified so strongly with so many of Moon's aging experiences that it sometimes felt like our souls were twinned.

Moon writes, in an approachable, conversational writing style
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that just draws you in, about the many ways her body and mind start to betray her: calling a friend and forgetting why she called her, tripping and falling as she runs for a bus, doing Buddhist meditations seated in a chair instead of cross-legged on the floor. She writes about the loneliness of being a single woman in her sixties, wondering if she will ever have sex again -- even while she's not sure she even wants to! She writes about being only 20 years behind her 84-year-old mother, who lies dying in the hospital after a car accident -- grieving the loss of a parent and feeling herself assume her mother's place in the family hierarchy at the same time.

Moon's decades of Buddhist study and practice pervade and inform her book and help her to shift her attitudes about what she, and most of us, have been trained to see as loss and deficit. So, tripping on the steps outside her house and falling hard on the sidewalk becomes precious moments outside of time as she lies on her back, feeling the pain in her ankle recede, staring up at the sky, listening to the birds and smelling the scents of the morning air. "Senior moments" give her permission, finally, to loosen the restraints imposed by planners and appointment books to just live in the moment.

Obviously, everyone will be old one day (if they're lucky!), so one need not be any particular age to enjoy these essays. Moon's experiences are universal, or surely will be, for all of us. Her gentle humor and sympathetic insights help us see them as an opportunity to embrace and live fully in all the "moments" of our lives.
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LibraryThing member berylweidenbach
"This Is Getting Old" by Susan Moon is an apt title! In her series of essays she describes exactly that. Coming from a background of Zen Buddhism she has a unique way to see the harder side of the blessings of growing older. She is very honest, completely practical and forthright with an added
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touch of humor now and then. She brings the reader through the same difficult questions we all will face one by one as the cycle of life brings us to those stages. Being on the cusp of 60 I found it especially remarkable that this book came into my hands through Early Reviewers. I could relate to so many of these essays immediately, and the rest I appreciated in advance of my experience. She writes as a friend in personal conversation which I responded to wholeheartedly! The Buddist themes in this book add to the beauty of the understanding as she experiences it and allows us to ponder other ways of looking at things which on the surface appear difficult. I consider this book a wonderful gift to those who read it, and a treasure to keep. It is clear from this book that her beliefs have benefited her in her life and now, through her, ours. I would indeed recommend this book highly as I plan to use it from time to time as a gift!
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LibraryThing member MEENIEREADS
Susan Moon is a good writer and an excellent storyteller. I read this book as if i was reading the rememberings and experiences of an old friend. She achieved an intimacy with her readers.
Not quite as old as she is,I have lived through many of her same experiences. I always find it insightful to
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see how other people handle situations I have been in.
As a traditionalist,ex-Catholic,current practicing Episcopalian,I did not get or "feel" the whole Zen thing or the spiritual sayings and advice therein but in no way did it take away from my enjoyment of reading this book.
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LibraryThing member bbrrtt
I thoroughly enjoyed this book by Susan Moon, even though I am still in my mid-40's, it's here...the aging process (whether we like it or not)! Susan talks to the aging process with humor, (many "laugh out loud" moments throughout the book), and dignity, giving the reader an overall uplifting and
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insightful experience despite the saddness that occurs in her life. I hope that many will read this thoughtful book as it appeals to us all, and while there are many Buddhist/Zen thoughts and ideas throughout they are great ones that each of us can and/or should relate to. I fully intend to pass this awesome book along to a friend in her mid-60's who spent her own time in "conciousness raising groups," back in "the day" and I know she will enjoy and be uplifted by this great read! Thanks, Susan for making the process a little less scary. A great read!
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LibraryThing member lmnop2652
A lovely collection of essays on aging, "This is Getting Old: Zen Thoughts on Aging with Humor and Dignity" by Susan Moon did not get old, as I feared it might. As one with severe Rheumatoid Arthritis, I've learned if too much attention is given to the pain, restrictions, etc., my life becomes the
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disease and not my life. I was a bit apprehensive that Moon's book would become one about aging, however, the aging is but the springboard for reflection.
A favorite quote from the book: "When I get unhappy about something in my life, I think: 'Wait, no, this isn't the right life, it isn't what I want, I need to find the edge of this life and leap over the fence into a different life.' But that's not how it works. My life is vast. I can't find the edge of it, just like a fish in the ocean or a bird in the sky. There's no getting out of this life, this ocean, this sky, except by dying. If I try to change oceans, I'll never find my way or my place--there's no place else to be but here, in the big mystery of it."
I love this quote, because some things in life are just too big to get around, up or over, so the only way is to plow *through*, which is my understanding of karma--face it, learn the lesson, and get on with living, because this process *is* the living.
I love Moon's book--it's a great reminder of what we "lose" in the aging process is an illusion, for what we gain by aging is so very much more than the losses--and that's the reason we're alive, no?
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LibraryThing member LoisCK
Susan Moon has written a series of essays in a clear sixty-something voice. As I am a member of this same club, I found the topics of memory issues, relationships, death of parents, being invisible, and search for a deeper spirituality as well as the others to be very timely. Her style is light but
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not silly; more truthful with no fluff. The double entendre title is so fitting to her introspection, experimentation, and continued search for a full life. I wish she lived down the street so we could have tea and meditate together! Recommended for those of us who have reached our sixties and perhaps for all others as you will be there one day.
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LibraryThing member stacyprince
This was a delight to read. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Even though I am nowhere near the author's age. It is a good book of essays to pick up when you want a little something to read; But beware: you won't want to put it down after an essay or two.
LibraryThing member Deb32
I really enjoyed this book, and I am normally not one to bother with short stories or, as this book is, collections of essays. However, the author has such an clear, down-to-earth voice that it was impossible not to like this book. It feels like you are just sharing time with a friend. Her
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observations on aging and life in general are easy to relate to, and her keen sense of wit and humor are enjoyable. I would recommend this book!
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LibraryThing member juliebean
This is the first time I've read anything by Susan Moon, and I thought that the essays in this book were very well done. I think they would be enjoyed by anyone, not just people interested in Buddhism. (This is, in fact, the one drawback I see to this book - it is being marketed to a narrow
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audience, but it deserves a far broader readership.) I found the essays to be particularly helpful for those of us who are young but have older friends. We learn to empathize through reading about other people, but it seems that very few novels ever have aging characters. This was the first book I've read that really gave me a sense of what it is like, for instance, to have problems with memory. Or to realize that one has to give up a beloved activity, like hiking, because the knees simply can't take it anymore. Knowing about these things may help me understand my older friends better, and love them as they are more. It also helps me see what life is really like, since our popular culture focuses on eternal youth and never talks about these things, unless it is to make older people the butt of jokes. There certainly is dignity in Moon's essays.

Some essays may be helpful to any person, regardless of age, such as her ruminations on being single, and wondering if her time of intimate relationships is past. I think people of all ages have these concerns when they are single, and it is not just a problem that comes with age. We sometimes read in order to find a mirror in which to see ourselves, to know that we are not alone with our questions, and it was good to see that we are not alone when we wonder about being alone.

The subtitle of this book mentions humor, but this is not exactly a funny book. It certainly has its light moments. But one of the things that I like about Buddhism is that it recognizes suffering, without glossing it over with platitudes. It stares suffering in the face and sees it for what it is. Several of Moon's essays do that. We read, for example, about the death of her mother. It is a sad moment, and there is no reason to make it turn out to be a funny story. We empathize with the author. We feel some of her loss. This is a beautiful moment, even if there is no humor in it. Humor can sometimes help us cope with suffering, but we don't need to cover all of our suffering with laughter.

Moon has a very pleasant writing style. There are Buddhist themes in the book, but people totally unfamiliar with Buddhism can read these essays. I highly recommend this book to the old and young, and I plan to seek out more of Moon's writing after reading this.
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LibraryThing member KarenRice
Another reviewer has said that she wishes that Susan Moon lived down the street and that they could have tea and meditate together. Yes! For this 66-year-old Buddhist woman, Moon's book is a blessing, from the title that made me giggle to the profound final chapters, 'Alone With Everyone' and 'This
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Vast Life'. She begins the book with the statement that 'Now is a good time to investigate the matter [of being old] and to develop courage.' And she proceeds to do that.

Moon doesn't flinch from the physical or the psychological aspects of aging. Her contemplations, arranged in essay-like chapters, include memory loss, her father's blindness and her own detached retina, her mother's death, the transition from meditating-while-sitting-on-the-floor-on-a-cushion to sitting in a chair (a big one for some of us), unsteadiness and falling due to age, the loss of her husband, her single life, depression (many helpful thoughts here), 'What If I Never Have Sex Again', and becoming 'invisible' to younger people. But they also include the joys of having grandchildren, of going back to the tomboy nature of her childhood, her single life (joyful as well as painful), lightening her life of material possessions, and the wisdom that she has gathered over the years (which she doesn't mention, but it's there).

Here's some of the flavor of her memoir: She tells a story of visiting her mother in a retirement community and meeting a group of her mother's women friends. Betty says to her, 'I hear you were just on a long Zen meditation retreat. Did it make you calm?' Moon answers, 'You're not supposed to try to accomplish anything at all, not even calmness.....The idea is to...let go of your attachments.' Betty says, 'Well, I can see that I don't need Zen meditation. Getting old forces you to let go of one damn thing after another!' Exactly.

I am feeling very attached to This Is Getting Old. It's entertaining, touching, and even enlightening. I think that I'll send this book to my 62-year-old sister.
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LibraryThing member KWoman
To me, a slow read and couldn't get into it at any point.
LibraryThing member msladylib
There's a birthday cake pictured on the cover of this book; it's got dozens of candles happily burning on! Some years ago, my daughter and I bought a cake for my mother's 77th birthday. It was a rectangular cake and we painstakingly arranged 7 rows of 11 candles each in a neat grid on top of the
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cake. Lighting the candles required some swift moves and pre-planning (light the candles in the interior of the grid first to avoid cooking one's arms; have two people using a candle each, not any from the array, and work quickly and in concert) to light them all before the earliest burned down. Mom was called into the room with Dad, and we sang, and all four of us blew out the candles. Dad said,"We should have invited the Fire Department, too!" But all went well, and it's a birthday to remember, and my parents did for the remainders of their lives.

This book, however, to me, is more like a box of candy than a cake. I'm taking only one essay at a time, and savoring teach one. Like a box of candy, some pieces are more to my taste than others, but all "tasted" so far deserve attention. Ms. Moon is very respectful of everyone, including herself, and the entire package is a bit of a gem. I look forward to diving in again tomorrow.
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LibraryThing member TimBazzett
While it's true that this is a book about aging (or "Becoming Invisible") and all its problems, embarrassments and humiliations, the emphasis here is on the "humor" and "dignity" mentioned in the subtitle. There's plenty of stuff on Zen and Buddhism here too, if that interests you. But I was most
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struck by how often I found myself chuckling in recognition on one page and then wincing in sympathy/empathy (also in recognition) on the next page, or sometimes both on the same page. Relating to an author and her subject over and over in this way is to me the mark of a well-written and just plain GOOD book. If you are into your sixties and have experienced things like short-term memory loss or 'senior moments' ("Where Did I Put My Begging Bowl"), stiffening and painful joints and limbs ("Old Bones"), poor balance ("All Fall Down"), deteriorating vision ("Stain on the Sky") and hearing,and grandparenthood, then you will find much to relate to here. But for me the best and most affecting parts of Moon's narrative are the more serious essays that deal with her own tomboy childhood and adolescence ("The Tomboy Returns" and "The Secret Place"), and especially the ones about her up-and-down relationship with her mother and the very moving descriptions of their last years together and her mom's final hours and death ("The Breathing Tube" and "Talking to My Dead Mother").

If you're only looking for yuks, this is not the book for you. It's funny here and there, no question. But in the final analysis I think this is a deadly serious book which ponders the larger questions of life. You'll laugh, but you'll probably also cry. Quite simply, this is a wonderful book. I will pass it along now to my wife and my mother and other dear friends. I know they'll all love it. I did.
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LibraryThing member EllenH
Thank you Susan Moon! She who was never going to grow old, has certainly found the words, grace, humor and wisdom to have crafted a wonderful collection of essays on the very subject. I am not a Buddhist, nor do I understand Zen, but I was captivated by Susan's ideas, and her courage to be so
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honest in her own questions about it. This has joined my favorites list, it was an enjoyable read, but one I put down several times to think. I kept thinking I'd like to meet this woman, I think I'd like her.
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LibraryThing member rmyoung
This is a good book for someone who is feeling the pinch of aging and needs a friendly voice from someone who has experience. It might be a bit of a scary peek into life as a 60+ year old for someone who is still younger or is in excellent health.
I could easily relate to the experience of
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becoming mysteriously invisible as one ages. I especially liked the chapter on some of the gifts that aging brings, such as the opportunity to rediscover one's inner tomboy.
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LibraryThing member srsstringham
Great thoughts about living life, at any age, with the added perspective of age. Still, not particularly deep. I think that Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung or many/most things by the Dalai Lama are more beneficial to me, though I believe This Is Getting Old certainly is written in a way that is
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accessible for most any reader.
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LibraryThing member AudrieClifford
A good friend fell in love with this book and loaned it to me, thinking I'd love it too.
I didn't.
I was expecting wisdom. Instead, I got an autobiography. What incredible self-absorption!
Had possible readers been warned that it's really all about the author, with some watered-down Buddhism thrown
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in, we could have decided whether or not we were interested. I'll bet the Buddhists didn't like it any better than I did, and I'm eighty.
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LibraryThing member debnance
Moon is just a little bit farther down the road of life than I am, so it helps me a lot to see what’s ahead for me. It’s not a pretty world, the sixties. Falls, for example, are already a problem for me. I’ve already taken several spills in my fifties, all of them embarrassing but, so far,
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not life-altering. Moon has a whole chapter on falls which might seem tedious to a twenty-something, but is amazing insight to me at fifty-three. Moon also talks about her difficulties with depression and loneliness and caring for her elderly mother during her mother’s last days and all of these are lovely
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LibraryThing member c_why
Feeble effort. Shallow and annoying to read. I appreciated her description of deep, long-lasting depression; but again her whining tone re. the sources of her depression was quite pathetic. I too have trod that path and it is impossible to convey the full hell of it. (Susan Moon gives it a very
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good try). My life circumstances are overwhelmingly more tragic than hers, hence the source of much of my dislike of this book. These books on aging can be treasures, but this isn't one of them. Instead read Florida Maxwell, May Sarton, or for fun, Erma Bombeck.
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Rating

½ (30 ratings; 3.9)
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