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Table of Contents: Cracks in the mind and body --
Changing relationships --
In the realm of the spirit.
FY2018 /
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Biography & Autobiography. Religion & Spirituality. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:Lessons on the joys and challenges of growing older with grace and laughter, from a Zen teacher and writer who is "like a Buddhist Anne Lamott" (New York Journal of Books) Being a woman over sixty can sometimes be confusing, sometimes poignant, and sometimes hilarious. In this intimate and funny collection of essays, Zen Buddhist and writer Susan Moon maintains her sense of humor as she provides thoughtful insights on getting older. In This Is Getting Old, Moon touches on both the ups and downs of aging: Her bones are weakening, but she still feels her inner tomboy. She finds herself both an orphan and a matriarch following the death of her mother. She admits to sometimes regretting pieces of her past and to being afraid of loneliness. These musings, written with Moonâ??s signature wit and grace, are a touching exploration and celebration of life, age, and our â??senior momentsâ?â??plus a powerful reminder to be in… (more)
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It's split into three sections of related essays: one on body aging, one of changing relationships, and one on spiritual matters, In each of the sections there were essays that made me cry. I laughed out loud several times. And, though I kept thinking how little I have in common with this older, braver, much more out-going, straight lady...I just kept nodding and feeling we have more in common. I am so very happy to have foud this book!
Moon writes, in an approachable, conversational writing style
Moon's decades of Buddhist study and practice pervade and inform her book and help her to shift her attitudes about what she, and most of us, have been trained to see as loss and deficit. So, tripping on the steps outside her house and falling hard on the sidewalk becomes precious moments outside of time as she lies on her back, feeling the pain in her ankle recede, staring up at the sky, listening to the birds and smelling the scents of the morning air. "Senior moments" give her permission, finally, to loosen the restraints imposed by planners and appointment books to just live in the moment.
Obviously, everyone will be old one day (if they're lucky!), so one need not be any particular age to enjoy these essays. Moon's experiences are universal, or surely will be, for all of us. Her gentle humor and sympathetic insights help us see them as an opportunity to embrace and live fully in all the "moments" of our lives.
Not quite as old as she is,I have lived through many of her same experiences. I always find it insightful to
As a traditionalist,ex-Catholic,current practicing Episcopalian,I did not get or "feel" the whole Zen thing or the spiritual sayings and advice therein but in no way did it take away from my enjoyment of reading this book.
A favorite quote from the book: "When I get unhappy about something in my life, I think: 'Wait, no, this isn't the right life, it isn't what I want, I need to find the edge of this life and leap over the fence into a different life.' But that's not how it works. My life is vast. I can't find the edge of it, just like a fish in the ocean or a bird in the sky. There's no getting out of this life, this ocean, this sky, except by dying. If I try to change oceans, I'll never find my way or my place--there's no place else to be but here, in the big mystery of it."
I love this quote, because some things in life are just too big to get around, up or over, so the only way is to plow *through*, which is my understanding of karma--face it, learn the lesson, and get on with living, because this process *is* the living.
I love Moon's book--it's a great reminder of what we "lose" in the aging process is an illusion, for what we gain by aging is so very much more than the losses--and that's the reason we're alive, no?
Some essays may be helpful to any person, regardless of age, such as her ruminations on being single, and wondering if her time of intimate relationships is past. I think people of all ages have these concerns when they are single, and it is not just a problem that comes with age. We sometimes read in order to find a mirror in which to see ourselves, to know that we are not alone with our questions, and it was good to see that we are not alone when we wonder about being alone.
The subtitle of this book mentions humor, but this is not exactly a funny book. It certainly has its light moments. But one of the things that I like about Buddhism is that it recognizes suffering, without glossing it over with platitudes. It stares suffering in the face and sees it for what it is. Several of Moon's essays do that. We read, for example, about the death of her mother. It is a sad moment, and there is no reason to make it turn out to be a funny story. We empathize with the author. We feel some of her loss. This is a beautiful moment, even if there is no humor in it. Humor can sometimes help us cope with suffering, but we don't need to cover all of our suffering with laughter.
Moon has a very pleasant writing style. There are Buddhist themes in the book, but people totally unfamiliar with Buddhism can read these essays. I highly recommend this book to the old and young, and I plan to seek out more of Moon's writing after reading this.
Moon doesn't flinch from the physical or the psychological aspects of aging. Her contemplations, arranged in essay-like chapters, include memory loss, her father's blindness and her own detached retina, her mother's death, the transition from meditating-while-sitting-on-the-floor-on-a-cushion to sitting in a chair (a big one for some of us), unsteadiness and falling due to age, the loss of her husband, her single life, depression (many helpful thoughts here), 'What If I Never Have Sex Again', and becoming 'invisible' to younger people. But they also include the joys of having grandchildren, of going back to the tomboy nature of her childhood, her single life (joyful as well as painful), lightening her life of material possessions, and the wisdom that she has gathered over the years (which she doesn't mention, but it's there).
Here's some of the flavor of her memoir: She tells a story of visiting her mother in a retirement community and meeting a group of her mother's women friends. Betty says to her, 'I hear you were just on a long Zen meditation retreat. Did it make you calm?' Moon answers, 'You're not supposed to try to accomplish anything at all, not even calmness.....The idea is to...let go of your attachments.' Betty says, 'Well, I can see that I don't need Zen meditation. Getting old forces you to let go of one damn thing after another!' Exactly.
I am feeling very attached to This Is Getting Old. It's entertaining, touching, and even enlightening. I think that I'll send this book to my 62-year-old sister.
This book, however, to me, is more like a box of candy than a cake. I'm taking only one essay at a time, and savoring teach one. Like a box of candy, some pieces are more to my taste than others, but all "tasted" so far deserve attention. Ms. Moon is very respectful of everyone, including herself, and the entire package is a bit of a gem. I look forward to diving in again tomorrow.
If you're only looking for yuks, this is not the book for you. It's funny here and there, no question. But in the final analysis I think this is a deadly serious book which ponders the larger questions of life. You'll laugh, but you'll probably also cry. Quite simply, this is a wonderful book. I will pass it along now to my wife and my mother and other dear friends. I know they'll all love it. I did.
I could easily relate to the experience of
I didn't.
I was expecting wisdom. Instead, I got an autobiography. What incredible self-absorption!
Had possible readers been warned that it's really all about the author, with some watered-down Buddhism thrown