Publication
Imprint: New York : Gallery Books and imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc., 2018. Edition: First Gallery Books paperback edition. Responsibility: Sallie Tisdale. Physical: Text : 1 volume : 240 pages ; 22 cm. Features: Includes appendices.
Call number
Death / Tisda
ISBN
9781501182181
Collections
CSS Library Notes
Description: Informed by her many years as a nurse, with more than a decade in palliative care, Sallie Tisdale provides a frank, direct, and compassionate meditation on the inevitable, including thoughts on:
A Good Death: What does it mean to die “a good death”? Can there be more than one kind of good death? What can I do to make my death, or the deaths of my loved ones, good?
Communication: What to say and not to say, what to ask, and when, from the dying, loved ones, doctors, and more.
Last Months, Weeks, Days, and Hours: What you might expect, physically and emotionally, including the limitations, freedoms, pain, and joy of this unique time.
Bodies: What happens to a body after death? What options are available to me after my death, and how do I choose—and make sure my wishes are followed?
Grief: “Grief is the story that must be told over and over...Grief is the breath after the last one. -- from back cover
Table of Contents: The dangerous situation --
Resistance --
A good death --
Communication --
Last months --
Where? --
Last weeks --
Last days --
That moment --
Bodies --
Grieving --
Joy.
FY2019 /
A Good Death: What does it mean to die “a good death”? Can there be more than one kind of good death? What can I do to make my death, or the deaths of my loved ones, good?
Communication: What to say and not to say, what to ask, and when, from the dying, loved ones, doctors, and more.
Last Months, Weeks, Days, and Hours: What you might expect, physically and emotionally, including the limitations, freedoms, pain, and joy of this unique time.
Bodies: What happens to a body after death? What options are available to me after my death, and how do I choose—and make sure my wishes are followed?
Grief: “Grief is the story that must be told over and over...Grief is the breath after the last one. -- from back cover
Table of Contents: The dangerous situation --
Resistance --
A good death --
Communication --
Last months --
Where? --
Last weeks --
Last days --
That moment --
Bodies --
Grieving --
Joy.
FY2019 /
Physical description
240 p.; 22 cm
Description
You get ready to die the way you get ready for a trip. Start by realizing you don't know the way. Read a few travel guides. Study the language, look at maps, gather equipment. Let yourself imagine what it will be like. Pack your bags. This book is one of those travel guides-a guide to preparing for your own death and the deaths of people close to you. The fact of death is hard to believe. Sallie Tisdale explores our fears and all the ways death and talking about death make us uncomfortable-but she also explores its intimacies and joys. Tisdale looks at grief, what the last days and hours of life are like, and what happens to dead bodies. Advice for Future Corpses includes exercises designed to make you think differently about the inevitable. She includes practical advice, personal experience, a little Buddhist philosophy, and stories. But this isn't a book of inspiration or spiritual advice-Advice for Future Corpses is about how you can get ready. Start by admitting that we are all future corpses.… (more)
Language
Original language
English
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User reviews
LibraryThing member ritaer
Part practical advice, part meditation on the process of dying, the experience of grieving, and practical information on planning.
LibraryThing member ASKelmore
Best for:
Those who know someone who is dying, or those who may die themselves one day.
In a nutshell:
Palliative care nurse Sallie Tisdale offers thoughts on both the reality of accepting (or at least acknowledging) one’s own mortality while also providing seriously practical suggestions and
Worth quoting:
“Our image of Grandpa at home in his own bed assumes that Grandpa likes his bed, that his house is safe and quiet, and that he really wants his relatives to take care of his most personal needs.”
“Sick people need to not be sick people all the time. They are also plumbers, parents, students, friends, chess players.”
Why I chose it:
Old habits die (heh) hard. I used to do planning related to death in my old job and I still find it interesting.
Review:
What happens as one dies? Not after, but before and during? And what can those of us who are supporting those people do (or not do) to make that experience less scary?
Tisdale’s book is not exactly a road map, and it is not really a memoir, either. She does use some stories to illustrate points (the experiences of three people she knows who have died are shared in different chapters), but this is not a book on the wisdom of those who are near death. No, instead it’s a mixture of how to confront one’s own mortality as well as observations from someone who has been with those who are dying and knows what to do (and what not to do).
The book follows essentially the path of death from illness, including chapters on what to do with the remains and what grief may be like. I think the most valuable chapter is the one on communication, full of dos and don’ts (mostly don’ts). If you haven’t been close to someone who is seriously ill, it’s likely you don’t know how you’ll react or what is appropriate to ask, say, or do, and this book provides some suggestions on that front.
At times this book had me confronting my own mortality; at other times it had me thinking about the mortality of those I love (especially those who are much older than me). I think it’s useful reading, and I’ll be keeping it around until I’ll need it.
Keep it / Pass to a Friend / Donate it / Toss it:
Keep it
Those who know someone who is dying, or those who may die themselves one day.
In a nutshell:
Palliative care nurse Sallie Tisdale offers thoughts on both the reality of accepting (or at least acknowledging) one’s own mortality while also providing seriously practical suggestions and
Show More
examples for what to expect.Worth quoting:
“Our image of Grandpa at home in his own bed assumes that Grandpa likes his bed, that his house is safe and quiet, and that he really wants his relatives to take care of his most personal needs.”
“Sick people need to not be sick people all the time. They are also plumbers, parents, students, friends, chess players.”
Why I chose it:
Old habits die (heh) hard. I used to do planning related to death in my old job and I still find it interesting.
Review:
What happens as one dies? Not after, but before and during? And what can those of us who are supporting those people do (or not do) to make that experience less scary?
Tisdale’s book is not exactly a road map, and it is not really a memoir, either. She does use some stories to illustrate points (the experiences of three people she knows who have died are shared in different chapters), but this is not a book on the wisdom of those who are near death. No, instead it’s a mixture of how to confront one’s own mortality as well as observations from someone who has been with those who are dying and knows what to do (and what not to do).
The book follows essentially the path of death from illness, including chapters on what to do with the remains and what grief may be like. I think the most valuable chapter is the one on communication, full of dos and don’ts (mostly don’ts). If you haven’t been close to someone who is seriously ill, it’s likely you don’t know how you’ll react or what is appropriate to ask, say, or do, and this book provides some suggestions on that front.
At times this book had me confronting my own mortality; at other times it had me thinking about the mortality of those I love (especially those who are much older than me). I think it’s useful reading, and I’ll be keeping it around until I’ll need it.
Keep it / Pass to a Friend / Donate it / Toss it:
Keep it
Show Less
LibraryThing member jphamilton
This book operated on two different levels for this reader, as a person who’s been fascinated by death since childhood, and as a man who lost his wife of decades in July of 2018. It does an excellent job of covering the scientific, cultural, emotional, and some of the religious details of the
The author covers so many topics: from what to expect from hospice care (the great help and some of the shortcomings), how important it is for each person to figure out what they view as a good death, what is reasonable to expect from families and caregivers at different stages, and how to talk to the dying and the grieving.
Speaking for myself, I know well just how uncomfortable people are when talking to the grieving. Tisdale mentions many of the stupid, insensitive, and cruel things that people say to those suffering a devastating loss. These people mostly mean well, but many times they don’t think before they speak, believing they’re giving sound and comforting advice. They are also wondering how long will this person be so upset before they return to normal and are fun to be around again. Our society doesn’t handle the uncomfortable well, in the back of many minds are three seemingly simple words, get over it. Having read a fair number of grieving books, I found that most mention many of the same insensitive words and phrases. I remember wanting to rip the head off a young supermarket bagger who told me, “It’s God’s plan.” She still has her head, as this young girl had such a sweet smile, and I realized she was trying to be helpful in the best way she knew … she just didn’t know I was an atheist on edge. I just left quietly.
This book does such a good job of explaining what the dying person may be going through at each stage. Being restless, not eating or drinking, losing control of their body, being talkative, or silent, so many things … all of it’s hard for the caregiver if they don’t have a clue to what is going on. Every death has some things in common, and all may be as different as the dying person was during their entire life.
Another thing that the book covers is some of the legal details of death plans, advance directives, organ and tissue donations, and assisted death.
Advice for Future Corpses* is such a clear, straightforward, and kind book that I would recommend it to everyone, as all of us will be near to someone who dies, and knowledge is power, and many times comforting.
Show More
last stages of life, the moment of death, and the process of decay under many different situations. The cruel facts of life and death were always interesting to me, it’s just now those same facts are much more relevant, painful, and personal to me.The author covers so many topics: from what to expect from hospice care (the great help and some of the shortcomings), how important it is for each person to figure out what they view as a good death, what is reasonable to expect from families and caregivers at different stages, and how to talk to the dying and the grieving.
Speaking for myself, I know well just how uncomfortable people are when talking to the grieving. Tisdale mentions many of the stupid, insensitive, and cruel things that people say to those suffering a devastating loss. These people mostly mean well, but many times they don’t think before they speak, believing they’re giving sound and comforting advice. They are also wondering how long will this person be so upset before they return to normal and are fun to be around again. Our society doesn’t handle the uncomfortable well, in the back of many minds are three seemingly simple words, get over it. Having read a fair number of grieving books, I found that most mention many of the same insensitive words and phrases. I remember wanting to rip the head off a young supermarket bagger who told me, “It’s God’s plan.” She still has her head, as this young girl had such a sweet smile, and I realized she was trying to be helpful in the best way she knew … she just didn’t know I was an atheist on edge. I just left quietly.
This book does such a good job of explaining what the dying person may be going through at each stage. Being restless, not eating or drinking, losing control of their body, being talkative, or silent, so many things … all of it’s hard for the caregiver if they don’t have a clue to what is going on. Every death has some things in common, and all may be as different as the dying person was during their entire life.
Another thing that the book covers is some of the legal details of death plans, advance directives, organ and tissue donations, and assisted death.
Advice for Future Corpses* is such a clear, straightforward, and kind book that I would recommend it to everyone, as all of us will be near to someone who dies, and knowledge is power, and many times comforting.
Show Less
LibraryThing member mykl-s
This was just the book for me, 80-plus and never having thought much about death, its prequels and sequels. Each page is worth reading, and reading.
LibraryThing member spinsterrevival
The author does a lovely job sharing her experiences with death and the dying along with beneficial information for the reader; it can be a difficult read at times but is sorely needed as you just never know, and being prepared can help so many.