Status
Available
Collection
Publication
Hodder Paperbacks (2008), Edition: First Edition, 272 pages
Description
In today's world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say Yes grows ever greater, producing overload and overwork and eroding ethics. Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say No--to people at work, at home, and in our communities--because No is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for what matters to us. But the wrong No can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people--that's why saying No the right way is crucial. This book gives you a simple three-step method for saying a Positive No. It will show you how to assert and defend your key interests; how to make your No firm and strong; how to resist the other side's aggression and manipulation; and how to do all this while still getting to Yes.--From publisher description.… (more)
User reviews
LibraryThing member MarkBaumann
Yes, excellent solutions. I would recommend Bill Eddy's book High Conflict People in Legal Disputes and Daniel Goleman’s works on Social Intelligence for better insight into what drives conflict. Understanding the underlying dynamics makes works like Ury’s, or any of the other negotiation
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works, much more accessible. Show Less
LibraryThing member GShuk
We all know people who can say no and still have everyone like them to the point of going out of their way trying to accommodate their wishes. Others will say no to the same thing and everyone turns against them. This book unlocks the mysteries of why this happens and shows you how to say no
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effectively. It is written in a clear easy to follow style by a negotiating sage who uses many meaningful examples from both business and personal life. In a nutshell a positive no starts with a Yes (affirmation of your core interests), then your No (establish a limit linked to your Yes), and end with a Yes (suggest another positive outcome or brainstorm on how to get to yes). One of the best books on communications I have listened to so far. Show Less
LibraryThing member Yestare
excellent book! highly recommended.
LibraryThing member LynnB
This book presents a way to stay true to your principles and highest goals by saying "No" in a way that maintains positive relationships. Interesting, effective ideas; a quick read.
LibraryThing member NeilKoke
This is honestly one of the best books I have ever read from a practical, life-impacting perspective. It is an excellent, eye-opening read for those of us that struggle with the "people pleaser" mentality. While the book addresses several key topics, the general premise is that if you understand
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what you are saying "yes" to, saying "no" becomes a bit easier. Every yes/no decision is actually a choice between priorities. You might say "no" to a friend's favor request to say "yes" to a family commitment, or even to your own need for personal time, for instance. Show Less
LibraryThing member jpsnow
As Ury claims, this really is the complement to Getting to Yes. It's arguably more important because it focuses on something that most people find hard to do, and yet saying no is so critical to the success of any person or team. This book first explains how to think about the "no" situation and
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then how to go about it. It goes deeper than just laying out a bunch of tactics. At the core, you have to know what you're saying yes to that makes it necessary to reject some other action. What you say no to shapes what you actually do and then ultimately your brand and your future. This book is full of deep and important real-life scenarios ranging from Ghandi to hostage situations in America. It's a valuable and enjoyable read. Hat tip to my colleagues in Phoenix for the recommendation. Show Less
LibraryThing member GEPPSTER53
Dime store psychology fo business guys.
LibraryThing member daltonlp
This was shorter, more direct, and more valuable than the earlier two books in the trilogy (Getting to Yes and Getting past No).
LibraryThing member benkaboo
Summary:
A book to help you develop an ability to stick up for yourself and say no to things that aren't going to work for you and your values. Also helps in developing dialogue as a means of resolving conflict.
Things I liked:
Addition of BATNA/Plan B. to the an overall objective of dialogue and
Things I didn't like:
A lot of his examples seemed contrived because he doesn't identify the BATNA or really and negative experience that occurs or could occur. Situation crops up, person applies the yes/no/yes formula, situation magically resolves itself.
I think it would have been better to have fewer of these pithy examples and maybe a few more deep case studies. It would have helped me to apply the approach in my own context.
Lesson Learned
It's not my responsibility to solve the reactions (fear, anxiety, anger, sadness etc) of people when I deliver them my 'no' (grounded in my own values and things I care about). People will often move through a dynamic path when presented with a no and you can watch them move from fear, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance (don't get sucked into their journey if you don't need to).
Highlight
Have a BATNA that delivers your value before you try to dialogue. Even if you don't need it, it will improve your psychology to have it ready.
A book to help you develop an ability to stick up for yourself and say no to things that aren't going to work for you and your values. Also helps in developing dialogue as a means of resolving conflict.
Things I liked:
Addition of BATNA/Plan B. to the an overall objective of dialogue and
Show More
collaboration. I found this a very nice addition to the framework presented in 'Crucial Conversations' (which I use a lot and rate highly)Things I didn't like:
A lot of his examples seemed contrived because he doesn't identify the BATNA or really and negative experience that occurs or could occur. Situation crops up, person applies the yes/no/yes formula, situation magically resolves itself.
I think it would have been better to have fewer of these pithy examples and maybe a few more deep case studies. It would have helped me to apply the approach in my own context.
Lesson Learned
It's not my responsibility to solve the reactions (fear, anxiety, anger, sadness etc) of people when I deliver them my 'no' (grounded in my own values and things I care about). People will often move through a dynamic path when presented with a no and you can watch them move from fear, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance (don't get sucked into their journey if you don't need to).
Highlight
Have a BATNA that delivers your value before you try to dialogue. Even if you don't need it, it will improve your psychology to have it ready.
Show Less
Subjects
Language
Original language
English
ISBN
9780340923801