Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel

by Lisa See

Paperback, 2006

Status

Available

Publication

Random House Trade Paperbacks (2006), Edition: Reprint, Paperback, 288 pages

Description

Lily is haunted by memories--of who she once was, and of a person, long gone, who defined her existence. She has nothing but time now, as she recounts the tale of Snow Flower, and asks the gods for forgiveness. In nineteenth-century China, when wives and daughters were foot-bound and lived in almost total seclusion, the women in one remote Hunan county developed their own secret code for communication: nu shu ("women's writing"). They painted letters on fans, embroidered messages on handkerchiefs, and composed stories, thereby reaching out of their isolation to share their hopes, dreams, and accomplishments. With the arrival of a silk fan on which Snow Flower has composed for Lily a poem of introduction in nu shu, their friendship is sealed and they become "old sames" at the tender age of seven. As the years pass, through famine and rebellion, they reflect upon their arranged marriages, loneliness, and the joys and tragedies of motherhood. The two find solace, developing a bond that keeps their spirits alive. But when a misunderstanding arises, their lifelong friendship suddenly threatens to tear apart.… (more)

User reviews

LibraryThing member jolerie
Snow Flower and Lily are laotongs. The sisterhood they share with one another since they were little girls is deeper than their respective marriages, their families; it is a friendship that binds both their fates in this world and that of the beyond. Through a secret language that only women are
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privy to, Snow Flower and Lily share their heartaches, joys, passions, and love with one another as they grow from naive little girls to women, wives, and mothers of their respective families. Both women will experience life in various shades and hues, but ultimately it is their love and loyalty to one another that will be tested as they both discover that misunderstandings and hurts can be buried for a time only, but never forgotten.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is an exquisite tale of being a woman during imperial China. We are able to see through the lives of Lily and Snow Flower the pain of footbinding, of being constantly reminded that being a female meant being worthless and only a burden to one's family. A woman's worth is measured by the son's she conceives and her whole life is subject to the dominion of her birth family firstly, and hopefully her husband lastly and eventually.
I absolutely loved this book for many reasons. Lisa See was able to tell a story about two women who were as real to me as women within my own family. She was able to share about the intimate and intricate details of Chinese culture and traditions without losing the essence of the story. In the end I am able to reflect upon my own heritage and realize that I come from a long line of women who endured pain and suffering with stoic grace and fortitude that comes from simply being a woman.
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LibraryThing member riofriotex
This is a sad story of friendship and tragedy, set in the 19th century in a remote part of China. Author Lisa See, who is Chinese-American, did extensive research in China to provide the cultural and historical background for her story.

The narrator, Lily, is an 80-year-old widow looking back from
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1903 on her long life. She describes in detail the process of her footbinding at age 7 (which killed her younger sister). She also details her education, particularly in nu shu, or “women’s [secret phonetic] writing.”

Shortly after this, a prominent matchmaker suggests for Lily a laotong, or “old same” match with a girl from the clan of a potential husband for Lily. Snow Flower shares Lily’s birthday and other characteristics, but is of higher social standing. As laotong, they can be friends for life, and a close bond develops between them over the next ten years, the only real highlight in lives lived mostly in an upstairs room. They send nu shu messages to each other on a fan when they are apart.

At 17, Lily marries into a prominent family from Snow Flower’s village, and a month later Snow Flower marries. Lily finally gets to visit Snow Flower’s family of origin, and learns the truth about her friend. Lily’s feelings of betrayal color her relationship with Snow Flower (and others) from then on, but their friendship continues. Many years later, after a typhoid outbreak and the Taiping Rebellion further changes their lives, a misinterpreted nu shu character on the fan causes even more sorrow and regret.

Descriptions of many other Chinese customs, folktales, and the numerous ceremonies and festivals were fascinating. I thought it was particularly interesting that a woman continued to live primarily with her family of origin until she first became pregnant, and even after that spent numerous festivals with her natal family. I also thought it was interesting that in their dialect, the word for “wife” is the same as the word for “guest” (page 165-6), the word for “child” sounds the same as that for “shoe” (page 133), and the first character in the word for “mother love” means “pain” (page 4).

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is a fascinating and heart-rending book that was hard to put down, with a message about true friendship that applies even today – accepting your friends they way they are, not as you wish them to be.
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LibraryThing member SallyApollon
I read this in a few days, as I found the story compelling and fluid. I learned so much about the rural Chinese culture and the lives of the women in these days; so full of heart-ache and swallowed tears. It was a delight to learn about nu shu and a horror to see footbinding up close and the
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hallmark it left on the women who went through it. It's truly amazing how different a culture can be half a world and a century or so ago. The extended family living is not surprising, but the progression of a young girl from betrothal, through early marriage to "falling in" to her husband's house, when she becomes pregnant is an alien concept to me now, but it makes sense in the context of a rural existance when famine & uprisings and infant mortality were facts of life.
The position of daughters in this society is so sad. I don't blame Lily for her treatment of her "laotong", I think she misunderstands and is hurt, she innocently misses the accurate context and perceives herself to be rejected-wronged. There is so much beauty and sadness conveyed in this book, and a little stolen joy, happily. The songs, especially that surround marriage, childbirth and death are fascinating. And I had to go immediately to see what nu shu characters look like. Bird's footprints was a good description.
Although there was a hint of eroticism at one time between the two young girls, I don't believe there was anything homoerotic in their friendship, although it may be that Lily loved Snow Flower more than she did her husband, while the same was not neccesarily true in reverse.
I would give this book 8 out of 10. It makes me want to read Shanghai Sisters.
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LibraryThing member jennladd
This novel has been on my to-read list for quite some time. I had heard about the novel shortly before it's release, and promised myself that I would read it. However, since my to-read list is dozens of books long, it takes awhile to get to most books. I finally decided to get the book via
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interlibrary loan, which is a great service that many library has. Since my local library is somewhat small they can get books on loan from other libraries for you to read. In some libraries all you have to do is pay the postage one-way. Which, in my opinion, is awesome.

And when the book arrived a few days later my librarian, whom I adore, could not stop talking about how much she loved the book. That was so encouraging. I love when someone has a good opinion of a book that I am about to read. Don't you?

Synopsis from Goodreads: In nineteenth-century China, in a remote Hunan county, a girl named Lily, at the tender age of seven, is paired with a laotong, “old same,” in an emotional match that will last a lifetime. The laotong, Snow Flower, introduces herself by sending Lily a silk fan on which she’s painted a poem in nu shu, a unique language that Chinese women created in order to communicate in secret, away from the influence of men. As the years pass, Lily and Snow Flower send messages on fans, compose stories on handkerchiefs, reaching out of isolation to share their hopes, dreams, and accomplishments. Together, they endure the agony of foot-binding, and reflect upon their arranged marriages, shared loneliness, and the joys and tragedies of motherhood. The two find solace, developing a bond that keeps their spirits alive. But when a misunderstanding arises, their deep friendship suddenly threatens to tear apart.

I really loved this novel. It was kind of reminiscent of The Good Earth, which I read in high school. I could not put this novel down. It completely drew me in from the first page. Forget what you think you may not about the recent history of Chinese culture. This book will reshape your ideas of everything. There is a chapter near the beginning of the novel that deals with foot binding. That chapter was a little difficult for me to read. It was very descriptive and my heart broke for the little girls, and I believe that was the point.

I'm not sure if it's because the novel was told from the point of view of Lily, but I'm still not sure how I feel about the character of Snow Flower. I liked her character, but I'm not sure how I feel about the manipulations of her family in the first part of the novel. But the end of the novel had me in tears. It was a great read though. My heart broke for each of the girls though in each of their sad moments and rejoiced with them. It's one of those novels that you wish every novel could be like.

It is a little intense in some parts, so you may need to take a break from it every so often, but at the same time, it's hard to put down. I am definitely going to be reading more from this author as soon as possible.
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LibraryThing member akeela
This was an extraordinary book in many ways. This novel reads like a memoir and is told by 80-year-old Lily who reminisces about her life, from early childhood, encompassing a deeply-rooted friendship, through marriage, to old-age.

It goes back to the early 1800s in China and reveals an exotic world
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where women were subjected to stringent rules and ancient customs. One of these rituals was footbinding, an agonizingly painful practice (that finally ended in the 1950s). This rite is described in excruciating detail as the protagonists, Lily and Snow Flower, experience the process to ensure that they have "white lillies" i.e. perfect, tiny feet to secure better marital prospects.

The friendship that develops between Lily and Snow Flower during their footbinding ritual at the age of seven is fostered by the secret language nu shu, which they use throughout their lives to communicate with one another via their secret fan. This language was used by women in the higher strata of Chinese society, and employed exquisite artistry, paintings and flowery language to convey heartfelt emotions.

The story was beautiful and, at times, melancholic. All-in-all, ir provided an intriguing cultural experience!
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LibraryThing member AprilHamilton
I am reviewing the abridged audiobook version from Audible. This look at traditional Chinese life in the late 1800's, told from a woman's perspective, details the lifelong relationship between two women as they go through all stages of life and the demands of each phase. The author describes
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various duties and trials of women in that place and time (i.e., footbinding, the many formalized rituals and relationships) in a nonjudgmental and informative way, which is one of the major strengths of the book. However, even in this abridged edition there was a significant amount of redundancy (I swear if I had to hear just one more detailed description of caramelized Taro root, how it's made, how it looks, how it tastes, how much it was enjoyed and anticipated, I would've stopped listening to the audiobook). I shudder to think how much worse the unabridged edition might have been in this regard. Also, every instance of foreshadowing is extremely literal and heavy-handed (i.e., paraphrasing, "and perhaps it was this that set the tone for all the terrible things that happened later..."). Finally, the relationship between the two women takes a turn toward the last 1/3 of the book that undermines the credibility of everything that came before. I don't want to reveal spoilers, but that last part of the story was a big let-down. I understand that author's point about the fragility of relationships, I just think she could've given more and better reasons for why the protagonist, Lily, behaves as she does in the final act.
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LibraryThing member vanedow
Lily and Snow Flower are laotong, an exclusive friendship meant to last a lifetime. This book follows their story throughout their lives, full of both glory and tragedy.

Reading this book, I found myself completely drawn in, from gasping for air as I read the terrifying descriptions of the
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footbinding process, to struggling with the heroines as they adjust to the hardship that was the life of a Chinese woman in that time. There is a lot of sorrow and tragedy in this book, and yet through it all are revealed truths of the depth of women's friendships.

I loved this book, but I don't know if I would say I "enjoyed" it. It was definitely an intense read, and I recommend it.
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LibraryThing member goldiebear
This book was thoroughly absorbing. I have always been interested in Chinese literature, especially footbinding. I do however consider this a "girly" book. The theme of the book wraps around two women and their inner worlds. I, being a woman, found it fascinating. Though, I found it strange that
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the husbands’ names were never mentioned (except once Lily calls her husband by his name) and we never find out the names of Lily or Snow Flower's sons. It goes to show how women were valued in that time and in that society.

The writing was very crisp and clear. It was easy and absorbing to read. I didn't want to put it down, as I always wanted to know what was going to happen. The emotion in the writing was beautiful. It tore at the heartstrings and was actually quite sad in the end.

Beautiful, beautiful book.
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LibraryThing member thebookfaery
What beauty, pain, grief, and understanding you feel once you read this novel by Lisa See. Within this story you peek into the world of footbinding, arranged marriages, extended families, womanhood, friendships (laotongs & sworn sisters), deceit, marital relationships, the value of and difference
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between men and women, birth, death, and the knowledge of oneself’s worth. A story so touching that you weep along with both joy and sorrow as you turn the pages of a past time. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is mainly about the laotong relationship (contractual friendship for life) between 2 girls from the age of 7 that will in a sense continue through many generations to follow. Through the pages you watch them grow from little girls, then young women in marriage, and then finally as older women nearing the end of their life on earth. You watch this sacred bond that they have grow, diminish, and come back. You feel anger with the characters during their times of misunderstandings of the other or during pain and suffering both of the heart and body. You wonder how one can know so much about another yet at the same time know so little. As you read the words that depict the time, you begin to understand the true value of the woman back then. As you read, you begin to wonder about your own friendships in life. You wonder, do they know you, do they love you unconditionally? Do you even REALLY KNOW them? Would you love them unconditionally or would you walk away if you felt hurt and betrayed? Would you become jealous if they found others that seemed to understand them better or would you learn from them to better your relationship? Will you be there for them even if life pulls you in different directions? Will you make the time? Will you realize that what may work for one may not work for the other? Or will you persuade them to look at it from only your standpoint because of your own experience or what you’ve been taught? Will you love, comfort, and accept your closest friend today as you should have been doing all along? For me…I think it’s time…
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LibraryThing member msf59
Lily is 80 years old and looking back at her life. The setting is China, in the mid- 19th century. She thinks of her childhood and her lifelong bond with Snow Flower, a treasured friend and soul mate. Women in this repressed society, are placed slightly higher than farm animals. Foot-binding was
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practiced and the author’s description of this horrid dis-figuration is stomach-churning.
This is a simple but poignant narrative told in Lily’s voice. This is the second book, I’ve read of Lisa See and I’ve enjoyed both. I’m not sure if there is much more she can say on this subject, though.
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LibraryThing member shieldwolf
I have a Degree In American Ethnology and Chinese Ethno-Geography, I too am a writer but not an Author. When I read Ms. See's Books she always has a special way to touch my heart and soul in it's deepest areas. Although the subject matter was nothing new to me, (foot binding) (secret womens
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language) etc. In fact I had to explain some of it to my wife who was born and raised during the cultural revolution of China. Much information, as in past Dynasties of China, was forbidden. In fact when I explained to her the foot binding political implications of the Qing Dynasty she had two things to say. "You know what, sometimes, you seem more like to be a Chinese than I am. You seem to know more about our culture, do you think so? Any time, I mention a tradition, you will tell me a story about it, and you are a really an knowledgeable man" the other was less appropriate for this review But she is "Han" and the Qing dynasty was ruled my the "Manchus" so I'll leave it at that. The point being that this story gives the American reader a perspective of life just over hundred or so years ago. The part that touches me is the the "love that binds" in adversity, good times and bad, Love like the wind remains forever and although politics and philosophies change that enduring quality of the human Spirit for Life and survival creates friendships and relationships regardless of culture. The love couched in traditional Non-Love words are a specialty I have come to regard has one of Ms. See's area of expertise, this touching of that part within us all that makes us realize that life is worth living and love is worth pursuing. Snow Flower and Lily have this relationship and our author portrays it to a tee.
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LibraryThing member ChantelW
While reading this book I was not sure what to expect at first, it was a little out of the comfort zone of what I normally read, but I decided to dive in and see what it was all about anyways. This book is a memoir of Lily’s fondest memories of Snow Flower, from the beginning when the two first
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meet, up until the very end. The two are old “sames”, bonded together by fate, although initially they are from different backgrounds, the two instantly click, and are there for each other through the good and the bad. This book reveals the true meaning of friends, and also the struggles that Chinese women had to go through in the 19th century. Whether it was the grueling pain of foot-binding, or the heart breaking emotion of losing a child, Snow-Flower and Lily bare it all together. I literally felt like I was there during the whole book, the detail and imagery is absolutely beautiful, every emotion Lily felt, I in turn could also feel it. I felt myself on the verge of tears during certain moments; no other book has had the power to pull that kind of emotion from me before. I recommend this book to any female, especially those who appreciate historical fiction, or have had some friendship tribulations.
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LibraryThing member Foxen
I picked this book up in the thrift store because I recently read Peony in Love, also by See, and couldn't really decide if I liked it or not. Having now read both books, on similar topics, with similar protagonists, I've concluded that I do, in fact, like Peony in Love, but that Snow Flower is not
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really that great. See's approach as an author seems to be to take some actual, little known historical thing and then to base a novel on it. Snow Flower is about nu shu, a form of "secret" writing used only by women, and Peony is about the play, 'The Peony Pavillion.' Both books take this one idea and then examine how they affect the lives of their protagonists- intended to be relatively typical Chinese women as they progress through their highly structured lives. It's an interesting idea, but if you're going to read one book, read Peony in Love. Peony actually said something (I'm still not sure what) about the conditions of life, and she broke out of her restraints and then come to appreciate them. Lily, the protagonist of Snow Flower, came to understand her mistakes, but not much else- and I think the fault is just that nu shu, the secret writing, was not a strong enough historical premise. Still, it was a fun read- I'd give it about 3 stars.
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LibraryThing member samfsmith
An intriguing look at life for women in China before the abolition of foot-binding. Lily and Snow Flower, tow pre-pubescent girls, become laotong, or sort of cross between pen-pals and best friends for life. They also have their feet bound and undergo the cultural discrimination against women of
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their time. Women are nothing, and girl children are less than nothing. It’s a very interesting glimpse of a culture that is, fortunately, gone (I hope).
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LibraryThing member PhoebeReading
In a brilliant bit of gender stereotyping, my husband has been heard to observe of my friendships with other women that they're far more like romantic relationships than the friendships he has with other men. Though I bristle a bit at the embedded assumptions there, I can't deny that in some ways
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it's true; in many ways my female friends really are my girlfriends, for better (our emotional intimacy and the support we provide, the feelings of inclusiveness and love) or worse (the emotional dependency, the arguments, the obligations). These friendships can be thorny, but only because they're also complex, and I've always loved fiction that highlighst these complexities and complications.Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See delicately explores just these issues. It's the story of Lily, a nineteenth century Chinese woman in a rising family, who is matched in sworn sisterhood with the Snow Flower of the title. Their relationship, a "laotong" match made just after both girls have their feet bound at age seven, is privileged among their society as one of the few relationships forged by choice rather than familial obligation. Meant to last the women's lifetime, the laotong match is valued even above the union that's made in marriage.Through the course of the girls' lifetime, we see Lily and Snow Flower progress from bright young girls optimistically looking forward to a lifetime of friendship into established heads of two very different households. Like wine, their friendship grows more complex as they age, though it's sometimes tainted by jealousies and competition, and is eventually shattered by the growing gap in their social status. This is where See is most successful: at capturing all the nuances, from the sexual to the social, of close female friendships.In doing so, she also offers us a fascinating and fairly enveloping look at a historical period very different from our own. Not only do we learn about the horrors of foot binding in Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, but also about nu shu, a secret women's language through which the girls correspond. But it's not necessarily in these edifying subjects, but in the immersive nature of the setting and the general tone of the novel that Snow Flower and the Secret Fan really succeeds as a period piece.In fact, it was only during certain passages about foot binding, language, history, and music, that I really felt See faltered. In providing us with needlessly ample background, her tone becomes encyclopedic and pulled me out of the novel's emotional epicenter. Now, that's not to say that I didn't find these topics interesting, but I sometimes felt like she was trying to prove something to the reader, saying: "HEY LOOK! I'VE RESEARCHED THIS LITTLE-KNOWN LANGUAGE! YOU'RE LEARNING! THIS IS A HISTORICAL NOVEL!"Such insistence doesn't do her characters or story any favors. Still, this remains a worthwhile read for what it does do well--illuminating a very special and treasured friendship, for all the wonders and dangers such a friendship offers.
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LibraryThing member LisaMaria_C
I was drawn in by the portrait of the life of Chinese woman in the 19th Century and the tale of the friendship of Lily and Snowflower. Back then, a daughter was seen as a "useless branch." As the narrator Lily puts it:

Even if our natal families love us, we are a burden to them. We marry into new
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families ... submit to the demands of our mothers-in-law. If we are lucky, we have sons and secure our positions.

Lily is born into a poor peasant family in 1823. She has an opportunity to rise in standing because her high-arched feet have the potential, with footbinding, to be the ideal size (three inches!) and shape, giving her value as a bride in an arranged marriage. (However, from what I've read, contrary to the book's plot, footbinding was done only by the rich, and didn't allow you to cross class barriers.)

To help teach her refinement, at seven and a half she contracts with Snowflower, born into a mandarin family, to become laotongs, a sworn lifelong friendship between girls. Often apart, and with footbinding limiting mobility, their friendship is sustained through messages in nu shu, a secret language between women used in Southern Human Province. A note before the text tells us nu shu is "the only language in the world to have been created by women exclusively for their own use."

See writes in a readable spare style and imbues her milieu with a wealth of cultural details. I'm not about to forget her portrayal of footbinding. One out of ten young girls who underwent the brutal process died. A process that allowed them only to take mincing, hobbled steps for the rest of their lives. There was also more than one surprising twist in this tale of two women's friendship and regrets, but I didn't feel as moved as I felt I should have been by the events of the novel. It's written as the memoir of a 80-year-old woman looking back, and at times I felt as if the voice was too journalistic, too detached and "tell, not show," and Lily never quite came alive to me as a character.
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LibraryThing member SqueakyChu
Lily is the middle daughter of three girls and has an older and young brother. When, at the age of 6, she is seen by a matchmaker and a diviner, her parents are told that her foot binding should be delayed for a year due to high arches and the potential to bring a better dowry. At age seven, her
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feet are bound. I was horrified when reading the chapter about foot binding. I never knew it was such a barbaric practice. In fact, I read the Wikipedia article prior to reading that chapter in Lisa See's book. It was almost painful to work my way through that chapter. The book goes on to describe life for a girl in 19th century China with an emphasis on the practice of laotong or “old sames” in which a pair of girls’ auspiciously matching birth dates and other commonalities are paired to be lifelong friends and taught to communicate in nu shu – secret code-writing that was practiced by women in southern Hunan province.

This is an excellent book for anyone interested in learning about Chinese culture. I'm not a big fan of historical novels, but this book is written in a way which kept it vivid and alive for me throughout. Although the story is about 19th century China, it's almost as if Lily were telling her story today. The nature of women’s friendship is taken to a realm of which I’ve never read before. The story is deep, heartfelt, and simply gorgeous.
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LibraryThing member susiesharp
This book is heartbreaking and beautiful all at the same time. I just want to go on and on about how much I loved this book. This book made me care so much about Lily & Snow Flower that the last part of the book broke my heart. Lisa See’s writing is so beautiful this story just flowed and was so
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hard to put down.

The foot binding part was so very hard to read about and the way women were treated was so appalling some of the things said that stood out:
"The loss of a child is hard even if it is only a daughter."

"Thank you Baba for raising a worthless daughter."

"Better to have a dog than a daughter."

The relationship between these two women was so real, even with your best friend you will fight and make up and you may not be living the same type of life at the same time. The trials & tribulations these two women went through and the change of status was so fascinating to read helped along by the fluidity of the writing. As young girls Snow Flower seemed to have it all but thanks to Lily’s perfect little feet she found a prestigious match for a husband who I think through it all treated her with kindness for the most part in the day and age they lived in. Snow Flower was not so lucky and life was much harder on her.

I finished this book awhile ago for our book club and we will be discussing it tomorrow night so I waited so my thoughts wouldn’t influence what others thought of this book and they wouldn’t influence my review. I finished this about 2 weeks ago and am still thinking about it this book will stay with you and make you think and realize how far women have come!

I highly recommend this book to well everyone!

5 Stars
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LibraryThing member varwenea
Since I have a moderate knowledge of the foot binding history, my review of this book focused on how well the author layered the historical facts into a fiction. While a few questions remain, I thought Lisa See did well in creating characters and circumstances that were relatable and
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comprehensible. I personally took away a richer understanding of this region of China and the hardships that women suffered in that era, although some things have yet to change.

Lily and Snow Flower grew up together as “Laotong”, meaning same old, bounded for life, loving and supporting each other, a circle of trust that is infinite and unbreakable. This book is written when Lily was 80 years old (very old for that generation) reflecting upon her life, especially Snow Flower, who died at a relatively young age of 42, even for the life expectancies then. Her one word summary was regret – in how she dealt with Snow Flower, stemming from the misunderstanding that was in the book description. Just as much as regret, Lily spent her later life in atonement – achieving what I consider to be an influential success. By following the rules that was taught to her, Lily did what she can to atone for her wrongs. The reader may underestimate the impact of these wrongs and Lily’s actions. Digest and process the Lady Lu role that she is and the shame that she created, impacting later generations. It’s not trivial.

In Snow Flower, I see a girl/woman, in circumstances beyond her control, one more unfortunate then the next. Yet, her free and adventurous horse spirit offered her love to give, to push the boundaries when she can, and to preserve in her situation, surviving for as long as she can manage.

In Lily, I see a girl/woman, who was given an opportunity to rise above her circumstances, learned her new world and accepted her new environment. While she initiated the misunderstanding that led to a lifetime of atonement, I’d argue that she was ill-equipped to do much better than she did. Lily never had the spirited sense that Snow Flower had to reciprocate the kind of support that Snow Flower needed, and Lily was mandated to fit into the rigid Lady Lu mode. It’s not easy to flip the switch.

Pondering on this book, it’s silly but I wish them a happy after life.

Some quotes:

To me, being a woman, these are haunting words. They linger to today, governing and judging us:
The Two Confucian ideals: First – the Three Obediences: “When a girl, obey your father; when a wife, obey your husband; when a widow, obey your son.” Second – the Four Virtues: “Be chaste and yielding, calm and upright in attitude; be quiet and agreeable in words; be restrained and exquisite in movement; be perfect in handiwork and embroidery.”

From the Aunt, who always had a smiling face and being funny (ref above – being agreeable), but the truth came out finally – the woes and fate of a woman:
“I am thirty-eight years old,” Aunt said, not with sympathy but with resignation. “I have lived a miserable life. My family was a good one, but my feet and my face made my destiny. Even a woman like me – who is not so smart or beautiful or is deformed or mute – will find a husband, because even a retarded man can make a son. Only a vessel is needed. My father married me to the best family he could find to take me. I cried like you do now. Fate was crueler still. I could not have sons. I was a burden to my in-laws. I wish I could have a son and a happy life. I wish my daughter would never marry out so that I would have her to hear my sorrows. But his is how it is for women. You can’t avoid your fate. It is predestined.”

In becoming Lady Lu, Lily learned from Snow Flower and also Snow Flower’s mom in this one instance:
“To see Snow Flower’s mother eat that meat was something I’ll never forget. She had been raised to be a fine lady and , as hungry as she was, she did not tear into the food as someone in my family might. She used her chopsticks to pull apart slivers of the pork and lift them delicately to her lips. Her restraint and control taught me a lesson I have not strayed from to this day. You may be desperate, but never let anyone see you as anything less than a cultivated woman.”

The best time to get pregnant – I laughed at the last two sentences.
“There can be no unpleasantness in your life.” (Still true, i.e., no stress.)
And “When water is still, the fish breathes with ease; when wind is gone, the tree stands firm.”
And “When the moon is full and bright, which suggests both the roundness of a pregnant belly and the purity of the mother.”
And “When the sky is clear, which tells us the universe is calm and ready.”
And “We and our husbands are happy, which will let the arrow fly to its target.”
Snow Flower, “But these things are hard to align at one time.”
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LibraryThing member Lisa2013
recommended for: those interested in women in 19th century rural China or who enjoy learning about other cultures

I ended up enjoying this book because it was so beautifully written and it took me deep into a world so unlike my own; thank goodness for that! This story takes place in China’s Hunan
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Province in the 1800s and is more about the inner lives of the women than the men.

I had a complete misconception of what foot binding entailed. It’s completely different, and so much more brutal a practice than I ever could have imagined. There were also many examples given of what I consider other horrendous customs and beliefs. I’ve always believed that tradition and culture that harms is not worth preserving and reading about these people’s lives was a painful experience. The story is fiction but well researched so I’m assuming there was much truth about how women led their lives in that time and place.

I was able to feel some empathy for the storywriter, because I could understand her longing to be loved and the difficulties she had in her upbringing that formed her personality, even though I sometimes had a hard time liking her and many of the characters. I was also irritated by so much of the book. I loathe stories where there’s a horrible miscommunication or misunderstanding that seems so unnecessary, and there’s an example of that here. Also, throughout the book, the narrator is writing the story of her life for another/others in her culture to read, yet the whole time I felt she was educating us in our time & places. So frequently the line “as you know” or “as everyone knows” is used to start a sentence, and I just kept thinking that if everyone knows it the narrator wouldn’t need to say it in that way. The narrator also most of the way through the book alludes to something she’s going to tell the reader and it got to the point where, instead of following along with the story, I just wanted to see what she was going to reveal.

I think that it’s worth it to read the paperback copy because of Lisa See’s notes at the end about the writing of this book,. Perhaps they were there in the hardcover version as well, but often additions such as this aren’t there at publication of the hardcover edition. Also, the paperback has some discussion questions at the end which might come in handy as I read this book for my book club.

The plot & characters did make me think about however women are regarded and what is considered beautiful in various cultures, including our own, can powerfully influence women’s lives. And they also highlight how our various expectations of ourselves and others imposed by our societies can influence human beings. It also made me think a lot about the corrosive power of unresolved anger and trauma.
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LibraryThing member LibrarysCat
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See was a beautiful book that every woman should read. The power of friendship is at the heart of this story about two young girls who became "old sames" or laotong and shared their lives by writing in the folds of their fan using a secret woman's language nu
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shu. The girls, and later women, recorded important events in their lives and passed the fan back and forth for many years. The story of the Secret Fan is told by one of the women who lived to be in her eighties. This gave her too much time to remember deeds of mistrust and betrayal. Only at the end does one learn the truth.

Additionally this historical fiction novel provides the reader with a wide range of cultural insights. The binding of the feet is described in great detail, along with the rationale. The lives of everyday 19th century Chinese women is also explored on many levels. See writes beautifully and the reader often can visualize the simple beauty of both actions and physical items.
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LibraryThing member wyvernfriend
This is the story of Lily, the daughter of a humble farmer and her friendship with Snow Flower the daughter of a merchant. Lily has a chance of advancement because her feet look like they might be perfect "lily feet" when bound. This may help her family advance and make her a good marriage.

It's an
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interesting story but I'm not sure that some of the trial and tribulations were almost too much. It was interesting and the characters came across as being quite faithful to the historical reality.
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LibraryThing member 1morechapter
Wow!! This is an amazing book. It is a story about women in China and their relationships to their families, husbands, and each other. They must first obey their father, then their husband, and then even their son. Their feet are bound to become more "marriageable"--the smaller the foot, the better
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the marriage prospects. We're talking about 7 cm here! The lives of these women were very harsh, and some were unbearable. Their hardships, work, pain, and desire for love came through very vividly in this novel.

I recommend this book be read by all women.
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LibraryThing member msbaba
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, by Lisa See, is an enthralling tale of a life-long friendship between two women in 19th-century China. At the age of seven, Lily and Snow Flower are encouraged by their mothers to enter a formal contractual arrangement whereby each child promises to be the other’s
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best and closest friend for life. Through this contract they become laotongs or old sames. Over the course of their lives, events unfold to test these bonds, but their lifelong friendship endures despite unrelenting hardships, misunderstandings, and ultimately betrayal. This novel is a compelling and uplifting tale of deep abiding love and redemption.

The story is set in an era and place where women and men live in completely different worlds. Foot binding is common practice. Marriages are arranged, and brides and grooms are kept entirely apart until their wedding days. Women spend almost their entire lives in complete subservience to their husbands and mothers-in-laws. Women live in almost complete isolation with other women, doing women’s work which is, for the most part, loathsome, thankless, exhausting, and endless.

It was actually very easy for me to become completely absorbed by this story. However, as much I was spellbound, I still kept expecting more…in the end I was a bit disappointed. For me, most of the problem was the structure of the novel. The book is told entirely from Lily’s point of view. It is her story, told as a fictional autobiography. This structure did not allow any alternative viewpoints of life outside the women’s world. It did not allow us to understand this virtually alien culture from the male point of view…or for that matter, from anybody else’s point of view except Lily’s. Another structure might have made other viewpoints possible, and that would have made the tale more interesting and believable for me.

I cannot resist comparing this novel to The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. Both books take place in long-ago, overwhelmingly patriarchal cultures. Both are heart-wrenching, compelling, and transcendent novels dealing with the importance of female friendships. In both, betrayal and redemption play crucial roles. But most important of all, both demonstrate exquisitely and powerfully that women in oppressive male-dominated societies ultimately can learn to succeed at life, and bring significant purpose and meaning into their lives, through the building and maintaining of supporting female friendships. That’s an important message, even in today’s world.

When I reviewed The Red Tent here on LibraryThing, it received my highest rating. I said it was destined to become a classic—an example of storytelling at its best.

I thoroughly enjoyed Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, and recommend it highly…but in comparison to The Red Tent, I am afraid it falls short.
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LibraryThing member lyzadanger
In sum, I did not like this book. I picked it up because I expected to be a brisk read, with intrigue, but I found it oppressive, cheerless, dark. It felt like a spectacle of the unfairness of the world for a 19th-century Chinese female. Nothing seemed redeemed. Everything just seemed miserable and
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repressed. I don't have trouble with dark subject matter in general, but this just seemed to be a parade of just how bad things can be. Bleak, bleak, bleak. And, for me, not very engrossing.

And yet I must be missing something. The majority of reviewers here found redemption in the story. I just couldn't. I feel like I failed. I finished the book out of pittance and commitment, not out of enjoyment.
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Awards

Commonwealth Club of California Book Awards (Silver Medal — Fiction — 2005)
Indies Choice Book Award (Honor Book — Adult Fiction — 2006)
Asian/Pacific American Award for Literature (Honor Book — Adult Literature — 2006)

Original publication date

2005

Physical description

288 p.; 5.1 inches

ISBN

0812968069 / 9780812968064

Local notes

fiction
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