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Description
Lily is haunted by memories--of who she once was, and of a person, long gone, who defined her existence. She has nothing but time now, as she recounts the tale of Snow Flower, and asks the gods for forgiveness. In nineteenth-century China, when wives and daughters were foot-bound and lived in almost total seclusion, the women in one remote Hunan county developed their own secret code for communication: nu shu ("women's writing"). They painted letters on fans, embroidered messages on handkerchiefs, and composed stories, thereby reaching out of their isolation to share their hopes, dreams, and accomplishments. With the arrival of a silk fan on which Snow Flower has composed for Lily a poem of introduction in nu shu, their friendship is sealed and they become "old sames" at the tender age of seven. As the years pass, through famine and rebellion, they reflect upon their arranged marriages, loneliness, and the joys and tragedies of motherhood. The two find solace, developing a bond that keeps their spirits alive. But when a misunderstanding arises, their lifelong friendship suddenly threatens to tear apart.… (more)
User reviews
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is an exquisite tale of being a woman during imperial China. We are able to see through the lives of Lily and Snow Flower the pain of footbinding, of being constantly reminded that being a female meant being worthless and only a burden to one's family. A woman's worth is measured by the son's she conceives and her whole life is subject to the dominion of her birth family firstly, and hopefully her husband lastly and eventually.
I absolutely loved this book for many reasons. Lisa See was able to tell a story about two women who were as real to me as women within my own family. She was able to share about the intimate and intricate details of Chinese culture and traditions without losing the essence of the story. In the end I am able to reflect upon my own heritage and realize that I come from a long line of women who endured pain and suffering with stoic grace and fortitude that comes from simply being a woman.
The narrator, Lily, is an 80-year-old widow looking back from
Shortly after this, a prominent matchmaker suggests for Lily a laotong, or “old same” match with a girl from the clan of a potential husband for Lily. Snow Flower shares Lily’s birthday and other characteristics, but is of higher social standing. As laotong, they can be friends for life, and a close bond develops between them over the next ten years, the only real highlight in lives lived mostly in an upstairs room. They send nu shu messages to each other on a fan when they are apart.
At 17, Lily marries into a prominent family from Snow Flower’s village, and a month later Snow Flower marries. Lily finally gets to visit Snow Flower’s family of origin, and learns the truth about her friend. Lily’s feelings of betrayal color her relationship with Snow Flower (and others) from then on, but their friendship continues. Many years later, after a typhoid outbreak and the Taiping Rebellion further changes their lives, a misinterpreted nu shu character on the fan causes even more sorrow and regret.
Descriptions of many other Chinese customs, folktales, and the numerous ceremonies and festivals were fascinating. I thought it was particularly interesting that a woman continued to live primarily with her family of origin until she first became pregnant, and even after that spent numerous festivals with her natal family. I also thought it was interesting that in their dialect, the word for “wife” is the same as the word for “guest” (page 165-6), the word for “child” sounds the same as that for “shoe” (page 133), and the first character in the word for “mother love” means “pain” (page 4).
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is a fascinating and heart-rending book that was hard to put down, with a message about true friendship that applies even today – accepting your friends they way they are, not as you wish them to be.
The position of daughters in this society is so sad. I don't blame Lily for her treatment of her "laotong", I think she misunderstands and is hurt, she innocently misses the accurate context and perceives herself to be rejected-wronged. There is so much beauty and sadness conveyed in this book, and a little stolen joy, happily. The songs, especially that surround marriage, childbirth and death are fascinating. And I had to go immediately to see what nu shu characters look like. Bird's footprints was a good description.
Although there was a hint of eroticism at one time between the two young girls, I don't believe there was anything homoerotic in their friendship, although it may be that Lily loved Snow Flower more than she did her husband, while the same was not neccesarily true in reverse.
I would give this book 8 out of 10. It makes me want to read Shanghai Sisters.
And when the book arrived a few days later my librarian, whom I adore, could not stop talking about how much she loved the book. That was so encouraging. I love when someone has a good opinion of a book that I am about to read. Don't you?
Synopsis from Goodreads: In nineteenth-century China, in a remote Hunan county, a girl named Lily, at the tender age of seven, is paired with a laotong, “old same,” in an emotional match that will last a lifetime. The laotong, Snow Flower, introduces herself by sending Lily a silk fan on which she’s painted a poem in nu shu, a unique language that Chinese women created in order to communicate in secret, away from the influence of men. As the years pass, Lily and Snow Flower send messages on fans, compose stories on handkerchiefs, reaching out of isolation to share their hopes, dreams, and accomplishments. Together, they endure the agony of foot-binding, and reflect upon their arranged marriages, shared loneliness, and the joys and tragedies of motherhood. The two find solace, developing a bond that keeps their spirits alive. But when a misunderstanding arises, their deep friendship suddenly threatens to tear apart.
I really loved this novel. It was kind of reminiscent of The Good Earth, which I read in high school. I could not put this novel down. It completely drew me in from the first page. Forget what you think you may not about the recent history of Chinese culture. This book will reshape your ideas of everything. There is a chapter near the beginning of the novel that deals with foot binding. That chapter was a little difficult for me to read. It was very descriptive and my heart broke for the little girls, and I believe that was the point.
I'm not sure if it's because the novel was told from the point of view of Lily, but I'm still not sure how I feel about the character of Snow Flower. I liked her character, but I'm not sure how I feel about the manipulations of her family in the first part of the novel. But the end of the novel had me in tears. It was a great read though. My heart broke for each of the girls though in each of their sad moments and rejoiced with them. It's one of those novels that you wish every novel could be like.
It is a little intense in some parts, so you may need to take a break from it every so often, but at the same time, it's hard to put down. I am definitely going to be reading more from this author as soon as possible.
It goes back to the early 1800s in China and reveals an exotic world
The friendship that develops between Lily and Snow Flower during their footbinding ritual at the age of seven is fostered by the secret language nu shu, which they use throughout their lives to communicate with one another via their secret fan. This language was used by women in the higher strata of Chinese society, and employed exquisite artistry, paintings and flowery language to convey heartfelt emotions.
The story was beautiful and, at times, melancholic. All-in-all, ir provided an intriguing cultural experience!
Reading this book, I found myself completely drawn in, from gasping for air as I read the terrifying descriptions of the
I loved this book, but I don't know if I would say I "enjoyed" it. It was definitely an intense read, and I recommend it.
The writing was very crisp and clear. It was easy and absorbing to read. I didn't want to put it down, as I always wanted to know what was going to happen. The emotion in the writing was beautiful. It tore at the heartstrings and was actually quite sad in the end.
Beautiful, beautiful book.
This is a simple but poignant narrative told in Lily’s voice. This is the second book, I’ve read of Lisa See and I’ve enjoyed both. I’m not sure if there is much more she can say on this subject, though.
Even if our natal families love us, we are a burden to them. We marry into new
Lily is born into a poor peasant family in 1823. She has an opportunity to rise in standing because her high-arched feet have the potential, with footbinding, to be the ideal size (three inches!) and shape, giving her value as a bride in an arranged marriage. (However, from what I've read, contrary to the book's plot, footbinding was done only by the rich, and didn't allow you to cross class barriers.)
To help teach her refinement, at seven and a half she contracts with Snowflower, born into a mandarin family, to become laotongs, a sworn lifelong friendship between girls. Often apart, and with footbinding limiting mobility, their friendship is sustained through messages in nu shu, a secret language between women used in Southern Human Province. A note before the text tells us nu shu is "the only language in the world to have been created by women exclusively for their own use."
See writes in a readable spare style and imbues her milieu with a wealth of cultural details. I'm not about to forget her portrayal of footbinding. One out of ten young girls who underwent the brutal process died. A process that allowed them only to take mincing, hobbled steps for the rest of their lives. There was also more than one surprising twist in this tale of two women's friendship and regrets, but I didn't feel as moved as I felt I should have been by the events of the novel. It's written as the memoir of a 80-year-old woman looking back, and at times I felt as if the voice was too journalistic, too detached and "tell, not show," and Lily never quite came alive to me as a character.
This is an excellent book for anyone interested in learning about Chinese culture. I'm not a big fan of historical novels, but this book is written in a way which kept it vivid and alive for me throughout. Although the story is about 19th century China, it's almost as if Lily were telling her story today. The nature of women’s friendship is taken to a realm of which I’ve never read before. The story is deep, heartfelt, and simply gorgeous.
The foot binding part was so very hard to read about and the way women were treated was so appalling some of the things said that stood out:
"The loss of a child is hard even if it is only a daughter."
"Thank you Baba for raising a worthless daughter."
"Better to have a dog than a daughter."
The relationship between these two women was so real, even with your best friend you will fight and make up and you may not be living the same type of life at the same time. The trials & tribulations these two women went through and the change of status was so fascinating to read helped along by the fluidity of the writing. As young girls Snow Flower seemed to have it all but thanks to Lily’s perfect little feet she found a prestigious match for a husband who I think through it all treated her with kindness for the most part in the day and age they lived in. Snow Flower was not so lucky and life was much harder on her.
I finished this book awhile ago for our book club and we will be discussing it tomorrow night so I waited so my thoughts wouldn’t influence what others thought of this book and they wouldn’t influence my review. I finished this about 2 weeks ago and am still thinking about it this book will stay with you and make you think and realize how far women have come!
I highly recommend this book to well everyone!
5 Stars
Lily and Snow Flower grew up together as “Laotong”, meaning same old, bounded for life, loving and supporting each other, a circle of trust that is infinite and unbreakable. This book is written when Lily was 80 years old (very old for that generation) reflecting upon her life, especially Snow Flower, who died at a relatively young age of 42, even for the life expectancies then. Her one word summary was regret – in how she dealt with Snow Flower, stemming from the misunderstanding that was in the book description. Just as much as regret, Lily spent her later life in atonement – achieving what I consider to be an influential success. By following the rules that was taught to her, Lily did what she can to atone for her wrongs. The reader may underestimate the impact of these wrongs and Lily’s actions. Digest and process the Lady Lu role that she is and the shame that she created, impacting later generations. It’s not trivial.
In Snow Flower, I see a girl/woman, in circumstances beyond her control, one more unfortunate then the next. Yet, her free and adventurous horse spirit offered her love to give, to push the boundaries when she can, and to preserve in her situation, surviving for as long as she can manage.
In Lily, I see a girl/woman, who was given an opportunity to rise above her circumstances, learned her new world and accepted her new environment. While she initiated the misunderstanding that led to a lifetime of atonement, I’d argue that she was ill-equipped to do much better than she did. Lily never had the spirited sense that Snow Flower had to reciprocate the kind of support that Snow Flower needed, and Lily was mandated to fit into the rigid Lady Lu mode. It’s not easy to flip the switch.
Pondering on this book, it’s silly but I wish them a happy after life.
Some quotes:
To me, being a woman, these are haunting words. They linger to today, governing and judging us:
The Two Confucian ideals: First – the Three Obediences: “When a girl, obey your father; when a wife, obey your husband; when a widow, obey your son.” Second – the Four Virtues: “Be chaste and yielding, calm and upright in attitude; be quiet and agreeable in words; be restrained and exquisite in movement; be perfect in handiwork and embroidery.”
From the Aunt, who always had a smiling face and being funny (ref above – being agreeable), but the truth came out finally – the woes and fate of a woman:
“I am thirty-eight years old,” Aunt said, not with sympathy but with resignation. “I have lived a miserable life. My family was a good one, but my feet and my face made my destiny. Even a woman like me – who is not so smart or beautiful or is deformed or mute – will find a husband, because even a retarded man can make a son. Only a vessel is needed. My father married me to the best family he could find to take me. I cried like you do now. Fate was crueler still. I could not have sons. I was a burden to my in-laws. I wish I could have a son and a happy life. I wish my daughter would never marry out so that I would have her to hear my sorrows. But his is how it is for women. You can’t avoid your fate. It is predestined.”
In becoming Lady Lu, Lily learned from Snow Flower and also Snow Flower’s mom in this one instance:
“To see Snow Flower’s mother eat that meat was something I’ll never forget. She had been raised to be a fine lady and , as hungry as she was, she did not tear into the food as someone in my family might. She used her chopsticks to pull apart slivers of the pork and lift them delicately to her lips. Her restraint and control taught me a lesson I have not strayed from to this day. You may be desperate, but never let anyone see you as anything less than a cultivated woman.”
The best time to get pregnant – I laughed at the last two sentences.
“There can be no unpleasantness in your life.” (Still true, i.e., no stress.)
And “When water is still, the fish breathes with ease; when wind is gone, the tree stands firm.”
And “When the moon is full and bright, which suggests both the roundness of a pregnant belly and the purity of the mother.”
And “When the sky is clear, which tells us the universe is calm and ready.”
And “We and our husbands are happy, which will let the arrow fly to its target.”
Snow Flower, “But these things are hard to align at one time.”
I ended up enjoying this book because it was so beautifully written and it took me deep into a world so unlike my own; thank goodness for that! This story takes place in China’s Hunan
I had a complete misconception of what foot binding entailed. It’s completely different, and so much more brutal a practice than I ever could have imagined. There were also many examples given of what I consider other horrendous customs and beliefs. I’ve always believed that tradition and culture that harms is not worth preserving and reading about these people’s lives was a painful experience. The story is fiction but well researched so I’m assuming there was much truth about how women led their lives in that time and place.
I was able to feel some empathy for the storywriter, because I could understand her longing to be loved and the difficulties she had in her upbringing that formed her personality, even though I sometimes had a hard time liking her and many of the characters. I was also irritated by so much of the book. I loathe stories where there’s a horrible miscommunication or misunderstanding that seems so unnecessary, and there’s an example of that here. Also, throughout the book, the narrator is writing the story of her life for another/others in her culture to read, yet the whole time I felt she was educating us in our time & places. So frequently the line “as you know” or “as everyone knows” is used to start a sentence, and I just kept thinking that if everyone knows it the narrator wouldn’t need to say it in that way. The narrator also most of the way through the book alludes to something she’s going to tell the reader and it got to the point where, instead of following along with the story, I just wanted to see what she was going to reveal.
I think that it’s worth it to read the paperback copy because of Lisa See’s notes at the end about the writing of this book,. Perhaps they were there in the hardcover version as well, but often additions such as this aren’t there at publication of the hardcover edition. Also, the paperback has some discussion questions at the end which might come in handy as I read this book for my book club.
The plot & characters did make me think about however women are regarded and what is considered beautiful in various cultures, including our own, can powerfully influence women’s lives. And they also highlight how our various expectations of ourselves and others imposed by our societies can influence human beings. It also made me think a lot about the corrosive power of unresolved anger and trauma.
Additionally this historical fiction novel provides the reader with a wide range of cultural insights. The binding of the feet is described in great detail, along with the rationale. The lives of everyday 19th century Chinese women is also explored on many levels. See writes beautifully and the reader often can visualize the simple beauty of both actions and physical items.
It's an
I recommend this book be read by all women.
The story is set in an era and place where women and men live in completely different worlds. Foot binding is common practice. Marriages are arranged, and brides and grooms are kept entirely apart until their wedding days. Women spend almost their entire lives in complete subservience to their husbands and mothers-in-laws. Women live in almost complete isolation with other women, doing women’s work which is, for the most part, loathsome, thankless, exhausting, and endless.
It was actually very easy for me to become completely absorbed by this story. However, as much I was spellbound, I still kept expecting more…in the end I was a bit disappointed. For me, most of the problem was the structure of the novel. The book is told entirely from Lily’s point of view. It is her story, told as a fictional autobiography. This structure did not allow any alternative viewpoints of life outside the women’s world. It did not allow us to understand this virtually alien culture from the male point of view…or for that matter, from anybody else’s point of view except Lily’s. Another structure might have made other viewpoints possible, and that would have made the tale more interesting and believable for me.
I cannot resist comparing this novel to The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. Both books take place in long-ago, overwhelmingly patriarchal cultures. Both are heart-wrenching, compelling, and transcendent novels dealing with the importance of female friendships. In both, betrayal and redemption play crucial roles. But most important of all, both demonstrate exquisitely and powerfully that women in oppressive male-dominated societies ultimately can learn to succeed at life, and bring significant purpose and meaning into their lives, through the building and maintaining of supporting female friendships. That’s an important message, even in today’s world.
When I reviewed The Red Tent here on LibraryThing, it received my highest rating. I said it was destined to become a classic—an example of storytelling at its best.
I thoroughly enjoyed Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, and recommend it highly…but in comparison to The Red Tent, I am afraid it falls short.
And yet I must be missing something. The majority of reviewers here found redemption in the story. I just couldn't. I feel like I failed. I finished the book out of pittance and commitment, not out of enjoyment.