Status
Available
Genres
Publication
Margaret K. McElderry Books (2016), Edition: 1st, 384 pages
Description
"After fourteen-year-old Eden is raped by her brother's best friend, she knows she'll never be the way she used to be"--
User reviews
LibraryThing member brandileigh2003
Disclaimer: I received this book as an ARC (advanced review copy). I am not paid for this review, and my opinions in this review are mine, and are not effected by the book being free.
This is a book with dark or difficult themes. Young adults that have made hard choices from hard backgrounds. It
Simon Teen sent me this one in the mail, and upon reading the synopsis, I figured that this book fit my tastes. I am drawn to books that are heavier in nature for part of my reading. Also, rape is a really important issue, and this looks into the mindset of a young girl who has chosen like so many, to remain silent. It follows her through her stages of disbelief, withdrawing, anger, and ultimately takes her to a place where she can begin to heal and move on, even though it will always be something that sticks with her.
Eden, Edy is the main character and she is quieter, she is my kind of nerd, she likes to read, she is in the band. She reminds me a lot of myself, having a best friend and not letting many others in. Family is a big theme in this one, even if she didn't feel comfortable telling them the truth right after it happens. It does show them in a tough time because she isn't herself and she isn't open about what is causing her to act the way she does. She begs her brother in college to come home, and she is short and tense with her parents.
This book is told in parts, each year of her high school experience. We see how the pain sticks around, and how much it plagues her. It gives a unique experience and shows the different ways that Edy suffered, but also the ways that she learned to cope. It shows her courage along with the darkness, it shows that its never too late to change your mind, or speak up. I think there are certain elements that are left out in skipping through the four years, but it does give the best overall feel for how much she was hurting and how she dealt with it.
Sometimes with reads like this, the period where they are healing and they begin to realize the repercussions of staying quiet are almost glossed over. We saw in great detail how she was with so many other guys, just to feel in control, we saw the damage that her hiding her pain, and not sharing with anyone what she had went through created breakdown in the relationships. I was glad that she had a select few that they didn't let her push them away too far, and were still on her side when she finally begins to tell the truth.
Bottom Line: powerful, emotional and raw.
This is a book with dark or difficult themes. Young adults that have made hard choices from hard backgrounds. It
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deals with rape and the fall out. It is a young adult book, but if under 18, ask parent's guidance.Simon Teen sent me this one in the mail, and upon reading the synopsis, I figured that this book fit my tastes. I am drawn to books that are heavier in nature for part of my reading. Also, rape is a really important issue, and this looks into the mindset of a young girl who has chosen like so many, to remain silent. It follows her through her stages of disbelief, withdrawing, anger, and ultimately takes her to a place where she can begin to heal and move on, even though it will always be something that sticks with her.
Eden, Edy is the main character and she is quieter, she is my kind of nerd, she likes to read, she is in the band. She reminds me a lot of myself, having a best friend and not letting many others in. Family is a big theme in this one, even if she didn't feel comfortable telling them the truth right after it happens. It does show them in a tough time because she isn't herself and she isn't open about what is causing her to act the way she does. She begs her brother in college to come home, and she is short and tense with her parents.
This book is told in parts, each year of her high school experience. We see how the pain sticks around, and how much it plagues her. It gives a unique experience and shows the different ways that Edy suffered, but also the ways that she learned to cope. It shows her courage along with the darkness, it shows that its never too late to change your mind, or speak up. I think there are certain elements that are left out in skipping through the four years, but it does give the best overall feel for how much she was hurting and how she dealt with it.
Sometimes with reads like this, the period where they are healing and they begin to realize the repercussions of staying quiet are almost glossed over. We saw in great detail how she was with so many other guys, just to feel in control, we saw the damage that her hiding her pain, and not sharing with anyone what she had went through created breakdown in the relationships. I was glad that she had a select few that they didn't let her push them away too far, and were still on her side when she finally begins to tell the truth.
Bottom Line: powerful, emotional and raw.
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LibraryThing member DarkFaerieTales
Review courtesy of Dark Faerie Tales
Quick & Dirty: Being in Eden’s head, feeling her hopelessness, is raw, searing, horrifying.
Opening Sentence: I don’t know a lot of things.
The Review:
It was freshman year when Eden was raped. She went to bed not expecting that, later in the night, her bed
I haven’t read a large amount of books about the aftermath of rape, but I have read a couple. It’s a delicate subject to read about. I find, each time, that I am unprepared for the trauma and raw emotion that is transmitted through the words. I cannot speak from experience, so I have never really understood the horror of abuse or assault, but these novels certainly remind me. Books like these can play a part in raising awareness, which I respect.
Eden is a freshman when she is assaulted, and the story follows four years of her high-school experience after she undergoes the traumatic night. It was hard, watching her downward spiral, watching her feel so powerless and hopeless. She was destructive in all of her relationships – friends, family, romances – and became someone as far from the girl she was that night. She went from innocent, sweet, to a smoker, drinker, partier. She became “that girl”, the one who slept around and was plagued by destructive habits. I cringed every time she got in a massive screaming match, accused of being these horrible things that ok, she really was, but the other person really had no idea what had happened. Given, it wasn’t really an excuse, but I hated that she kept quiet for so long.
One thing I liked about this novel, that made it different from novels that I’ve read in the past, was that Eden didn’t save herself through a boy. Yes, of course there were boys around the whole story, and she wasn’t able to pull herself out of that horrible place alone; all the same, in the end, it was her own doing that saved her. I would have appreciated the ending to be more concrete – there were some things left open ended, certain things left unsaid. I didn’t like how she was victimized and damaged the whole story and then in the last fifty pages began to change, but I do understand the significance of the time it took.
Altogether, I think this book was a very good one. The writing was unique, fractured at points, run on at others, but always helping to emphasize the raw seriousness of Eden’s emotions. An author (Laurie Flynn) used the word “searing”, and I don’t think there was any word that could have pinpointed the novel so perfectly. It’s hard realizing that teenagers, girls, women, actually undergo these horrors, and that they all have different stories. I was shaking at points, enraptured the whole book through, and emotional the day after I finished. All in all, the book destroyed me, utterly and completely – which I guess means that Smith is doing something right.
Notable Scene:
I watch a car roll through the stop sign at the corner, the driver barely glancing up to see if anyone’s there. I think about how they say most people will get into car accidents less than one mile from their home. Everything’s so familiar, you stop paying attention. You don’t notice the one thing that’s different or wrong or off or dangerous. And I think about how maybe that’s what just happened to me.
FTC Advisory: Margaret K. McElderry Books/Simon & Schuster provided me with a copy of The Way I Used to Be. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review.
Quick & Dirty: Being in Eden’s head, feeling her hopelessness, is raw, searing, horrifying.
Opening Sentence: I don’t know a lot of things.
The Review:
It was freshman year when Eden was raped. She went to bed not expecting that, later in the night, her bed
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would creak with the weight of her brother’s best friend. She didn’t expect to be gagged and threatened and assaulted. She thought it was a bad dream until she woke up in horrible pain and saw the state of her bed, her room, her psyche. The book follows how the event affected her throughout high school.I haven’t read a large amount of books about the aftermath of rape, but I have read a couple. It’s a delicate subject to read about. I find, each time, that I am unprepared for the trauma and raw emotion that is transmitted through the words. I cannot speak from experience, so I have never really understood the horror of abuse or assault, but these novels certainly remind me. Books like these can play a part in raising awareness, which I respect.
Eden is a freshman when she is assaulted, and the story follows four years of her high-school experience after she undergoes the traumatic night. It was hard, watching her downward spiral, watching her feel so powerless and hopeless. She was destructive in all of her relationships – friends, family, romances – and became someone as far from the girl she was that night. She went from innocent, sweet, to a smoker, drinker, partier. She became “that girl”, the one who slept around and was plagued by destructive habits. I cringed every time she got in a massive screaming match, accused of being these horrible things that ok, she really was, but the other person really had no idea what had happened. Given, it wasn’t really an excuse, but I hated that she kept quiet for so long.
One thing I liked about this novel, that made it different from novels that I’ve read in the past, was that Eden didn’t save herself through a boy. Yes, of course there were boys around the whole story, and she wasn’t able to pull herself out of that horrible place alone; all the same, in the end, it was her own doing that saved her. I would have appreciated the ending to be more concrete – there were some things left open ended, certain things left unsaid. I didn’t like how she was victimized and damaged the whole story and then in the last fifty pages began to change, but I do understand the significance of the time it took.
Altogether, I think this book was a very good one. The writing was unique, fractured at points, run on at others, but always helping to emphasize the raw seriousness of Eden’s emotions. An author (Laurie Flynn) used the word “searing”, and I don’t think there was any word that could have pinpointed the novel so perfectly. It’s hard realizing that teenagers, girls, women, actually undergo these horrors, and that they all have different stories. I was shaking at points, enraptured the whole book through, and emotional the day after I finished. All in all, the book destroyed me, utterly and completely – which I guess means that Smith is doing something right.
Notable Scene:
I watch a car roll through the stop sign at the corner, the driver barely glancing up to see if anyone’s there. I think about how they say most people will get into car accidents less than one mile from their home. Everything’s so familiar, you stop paying attention. You don’t notice the one thing that’s different or wrong or off or dangerous. And I think about how maybe that’s what just happened to me.
FTC Advisory: Margaret K. McElderry Books/Simon & Schuster provided me with a copy of The Way I Used to Be. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review.
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LibraryThing member cablesclasses
Eden or otherwise known to her close friends as "Edy," deals with being raped in her house at the age of 12 by a family friend. Smith takes us on Eden's journey through all four years of high school and how she deals with this traumatic incident and how it affects her life at school, with friends,
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and her family. Eden does not tell anyone about being raped, so her high school years are an example of one pathway a teen might take trying to cope with this hidden truth. I would rate this book as mature based on Eden's choices: sex, drugs, and alcohol. I read this in one sitting; I had to know what happened to Eden: hopeful. Recommendations: Mature HS students, girls in therapy, rape victims, realistic fiction readers, and anyone wanting to learn how a rape victim might react to the situation. Show Less
LibraryThing member maggie1961
I don't think you can read this book and not feel a little bit of your heart break for Eden.
When she is 14, Eden is raped in her bed one night by her brother's best friend, Kevin, a golden popular boy from the football team. She tells no one. But the anguish of the aftermath puts her on a downward
I have to admit that that even though I understood her behaviour, I really didn't like Eden very much. She was just mean and nasty and so hurtful to everyone. I would flip flop back and forth from disliking her to shedding a tear or two for how hurt and damaged she was. And alone.
In my head I kept telling her to tell someone. She would strike out at everyone, they'd react in anger and I just wanted her to tell someone so they would understand and not be angry at her. There's a little lesson in that; people we think are nasty, mean and do things that hurt us; maybe we need to think about what they are going through and be a little more sympathetic.
This book was heart wrenching; a very real portrayal Into the mind of a young rape victim. Some parts were so real they were difficult to read but this is a story definitely worth reading.
When she is 14, Eden is raped in her bed one night by her brother's best friend, Kevin, a golden popular boy from the football team. She tells no one. But the anguish of the aftermath puts her on a downward
Show More
spiral towards destruction of herself and everyone around her. I have to admit that that even though I understood her behaviour, I really didn't like Eden very much. She was just mean and nasty and so hurtful to everyone. I would flip flop back and forth from disliking her to shedding a tear or two for how hurt and damaged she was. And alone.
In my head I kept telling her to tell someone. She would strike out at everyone, they'd react in anger and I just wanted her to tell someone so they would understand and not be angry at her. There's a little lesson in that; people we think are nasty, mean and do things that hurt us; maybe we need to think about what they are going through and be a little more sympathetic.
This book was heart wrenching; a very real portrayal Into the mind of a young rape victim. Some parts were so real they were difficult to read but this is a story definitely worth reading.
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LibraryThing member Susan.Macura
Eden was only 14-years-old when she was raped in her own bedroom. The perpetrator was her older brother’s best friend Kevin. After he threatened her, she remained silent for years. However, her behavior reflected this secret. She started smoking, drank and engaged in meaningless sex on numerous
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occasions. She alienated many who cared most about her, believing she was not worth loving. It was only years later when Kevin was accused of raping a former girlfriend at college that forced Eden to face her demons to tell the truth. She found out she was not the only victim here, that there was at least one other who kept her secret for years as well. This is a compelling look at rape and incest, as well as how incest contributes to victims often becoming predators later in life. Show Less
LibraryThing member schatzi
I seem to be in the minority here, but I didn't like this book.
If you have never read a book dealing with the aftermath of a sexual assault, maybe you can find something new and unique and profound here. But I've read several books in that category, and this one just didn't bring anything new to
The other characters in the book - Eden's parents, brother, and friends - all seem cardboard and hollow. She attempts to tell her mother at one point what happened to her, but her mother just callously cuts her off and dismisses it as something else without given Eden a chance to explain. I know we are seeing things from Eden's perspective, but come on - if your daughter is obviously upset and trying to tell you something, wouldn't you at least try to listen to her?
I have no problems with Eden, although I feel like I have read this story in other books. I am in no way accusing the author of plagiarism - no way at all - but it just feels...tired. I've been down this path with other characters in other books. And there are so many of us who have survived sexual abuse and assault and we do not all react the same way. I'd just like to see a character in a book who responds to the assault in a way that does not involve promiscuity (or trying to "replace" what happened with other, consensual encounters) and going off the rails. I am not criticizing anyone who was raped and then did go down that path; not at all! I am just saying that is not the only path we survivors take, and I would like to see that in fiction.
Also, this book is spread over four years, but the pacing is just...off. Major events happen off-page, and I never got a good feel for who Eden exactly was, especially since she was changing rapidly between chapters (or years) and we didn't see that transformation. I couldn't connect with her, because she was so different throughout the chapters (years) and we didn't see how she got there. I think tracking Eden over four years was ambitious, but it just didn't work for me.
If you have never read a book dealing with the aftermath of a sexual assault, maybe you can find something new and unique and profound here. But I've read several books in that category, and this one just didn't bring anything new to
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the table (except, perhaps, that it takes place over four years, but that wasn't a positive - more on that later). The other characters in the book - Eden's parents, brother, and friends - all seem cardboard and hollow. She attempts to tell her mother at one point what happened to her, but her mother just callously cuts her off and dismisses it as something else without given Eden a chance to explain. I know we are seeing things from Eden's perspective, but come on - if your daughter is obviously upset and trying to tell you something, wouldn't you at least try to listen to her?
I have no problems with Eden, although I feel like I have read this story in other books. I am in no way accusing the author of plagiarism - no way at all - but it just feels...tired. I've been down this path with other characters in other books. And there are so many of us who have survived sexual abuse and assault and we do not all react the same way. I'd just like to see a character in a book who responds to the assault in a way that does not involve promiscuity (or trying to "replace" what happened with other, consensual encounters) and going off the rails. I am not criticizing anyone who was raped and then did go down that path; not at all! I am just saying that is not the only path we survivors take, and I would like to see that in fiction.
Also, this book is spread over four years, but the pacing is just...off. Major events happen off-page, and I never got a good feel for who Eden exactly was, especially since she was changing rapidly between chapters (or years) and we didn't see that transformation. I couldn't connect with her, because she was so different throughout the chapters (years) and we didn't see how she got there. I think tracking Eden over four years was ambitious, but it just didn't work for me.
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LibraryThing member xhollishx
I really enjoyed how complex this main character was. Very good, heartbreaking story.
LibraryThing member SimplyKelina
It is really hard to write a review around this story, without taking anything away from how great this really is. This is a story around rape, and the internal struggles a teenager faces over the years while holding in this secret. I feel this was done really well, and was a look into the reality
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of sexual abuse. It is not something that most people come out and tell their story about right away. I was happy that Eden was able to finally open up about what happened to her. You get to see her break free from this burden. I will say, I wanted more of the story at the end. Overall, an amazing and powerful story that will break your heart. Show Less
LibraryThing member SJGirl
An emotionally difficult read, Eden, at fourteen, is raped in her bed in the middle of the night by her brother’s best friend. The book follows her through the next four years as she struggles with the secret of what happened to her.
The author did an impressive job of illustrating how much Eden
Since the book starts at such a horrible place in this girl’s life, I felt instantaneously protective of her, and so I was very leery of Eden entering into a romance at that tender time and tender age, but I ended up pleasantly surprised by the way it was handled, in a strange way, despite the lies involved, it turned out to be one of the healthier, more uplifting choices Eden makes in the book.
While there were a few relationships I really wanted some follow up scenes with at the end of the book, including Eden’s parents, for the most part I found the ending skillfully done, it doesn’t wrap things up nice and tidy with a big red bow promising happy ever after for Eden, but it does offer a reasonable, realistic amount of hope.
The author did an impressive job of illustrating how much Eden
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was hurting, her anger, her fear, her frustration, her desperate desire for someone to ask “the question” while at the same time, so, so understandably challenged when it came to actually voicing what happened. Obviously the way Eden spirals, the sometimes destructive and dangerous path she lands on, isn’t the story of every rape survivor, everyone is going to struggle and deal and heal in their own way, but her specific story is told convincingly and with compassion. Yes Eden receives harsh judgment from people who are clueless as to what’s fueling her behavior, it’s tough to read those scenes, as it is tough whenever Eden places blame on herself, thinks she could have fought harder, should have suspected him and deems herself worthless, but it never feels like the author judges or places blame on her, rightfully so, you’re never made to feel that this girl is deserving of anything other than the peace of mind and happiness that was stolen from her.Since the book starts at such a horrible place in this girl’s life, I felt instantaneously protective of her, and so I was very leery of Eden entering into a romance at that tender time and tender age, but I ended up pleasantly surprised by the way it was handled, in a strange way, despite the lies involved, it turned out to be one of the healthier, more uplifting choices Eden makes in the book.
While there were a few relationships I really wanted some follow up scenes with at the end of the book, including Eden’s parents, for the most part I found the ending skillfully done, it doesn’t wrap things up nice and tidy with a big red bow promising happy ever after for Eden, but it does offer a reasonable, realistic amount of hope.
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LibraryThing member Beth.Clarke
This is a sad book. The main character, Eden, get raped and the rest of the book is a series of awful things that happen to her as a result of the rape. The rape scene is descriptive and there is a lot of violence, sex, and language throughout the novel. It's not appropriate for all YA readers.
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There's also not a lot of character development. I thought about abandoning it a number of times, but I kept thinking Eden would find a way or a person that could help her. Show Less
LibraryThing member SusanGeiss
Thanks to the publisher and Edelweiss for supplying this ARC.
Different yet similar to the beloved book Speak, this book tackles a very difficult subject from a very different point of view. Eden's experiences and the way she handles them are edgy in a way that teens will connect to. I felt her
Different yet similar to the beloved book Speak, this book tackles a very difficult subject from a very different point of view. Eden's experiences and the way she handles them are edgy in a way that teens will connect to. I felt her
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push other characters away to shield herself. It felt as if she pushed the reader away too. I would have enjoyed more direct character development, but understand that in these situations many people stay stuck. I hope that as people read this book they stay until the end to realize that to hide is not the answer. I'm sure this will be the catalyst for many discussions on the topic of rape. Bravo for tackling this in such an honest way! Show Less
LibraryThing member kimpiddington
Worthwhile read.
LibraryThing member ejlesny
Our main character definitely had some highs and lows. There was a time when we thought she would never build back up again. The author kept us on the edge of our seats.
Awards
Eliot Rosewater Indiana High School Book Award (Honor Book — 2019)
Nutmeg Book Award (Nominee — High School — 2018)
Nevada Young Readers' Award (Nominee — Young Adult — 2018)
Rise: A Feminist Book Project for Ages 0-18 (Selection — 2017)
Language
Original language
English
Original publication date
2016-03-22
Physical description
384 p.; 5.5 inches
ISBN
1481449354 / 9781481449359
Local notes
fiction