Status
Available
Series
Genres
Publication
New York : Knopf, 1991.
Description
Shy, sensible banker Stuart has trouble with women; that is, until a fortuitous singles night, where he meets Gillian, a picture restorer recovering from a destructive affair. Stuart's best friend Oliver is his complete opposite - a language teacher who 'talks like a dictionary', brash and feckless. Soon Stuart and Gillian are married, but it is not long before a tentative friendship between the three evolves into something far different.Talking it Over is a brilliant and intimate account of love's vicissitudes. It begins as a comedy of errors, then slowly darkens and deepens, drawing us compellingly into the quagmires of the heart.
User reviews
LibraryThing member sarialam
Stuart, stodgy and predictable, briefly married Gillian before dashing Oliver stole her away. Ten years passed, Stuart remarried then divorced, successful in the U.S., returned England. Oliver and Gillian still married, parents of two daughters. As their lives again intertwine, old tensions revive
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along with new. (Mary Whipple) Show Less
LibraryThing member Amzzz
Such a good book. Julian Barnes is a really clever writer. Funny but sad. Favourite chapter was 10: I'm not sure I can even believe this.
LibraryThing member Esta1923
Before She Met Me by Julian Barnes
Although we know blurbs can be unreliable, some are more so. The McGraw-Hill paperback edition of “Before She Met Me,” quotes the New York Review of Books: “Excellent...funny, original.” (We could have a lovely fill-in-the-blanks contest to make that
Eleven chapters chart the downward spiral in the life of Graham Hendrick. He’s divorced, with visitation rights to a sweet daughter, married to a beautiful and charming woman. Their marriage is threatened when he becomes obsessed by her former life.
Long before she met him, Ann had starred in pornographic movies. When Graham, convinced that movie scenes are actual, seeks out these films compulsively, he loses track of reality and what this leads to is definitely not funny.
Because Barnes is a skillful writer the book is interesting, and, with some stretch of disbelief, even plausible. Original? Yes. Funny ? No.
Although we know blurbs can be unreliable, some are more so. The McGraw-Hill paperback edition of “Before She Met Me,” quotes the New York Review of Books: “Excellent...funny, original.” (We could have a lovely fill-in-the-blanks contest to make that
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accurate.)Eleven chapters chart the downward spiral in the life of Graham Hendrick. He’s divorced, with visitation rights to a sweet daughter, married to a beautiful and charming woman. Their marriage is threatened when he becomes obsessed by her former life.
Long before she met him, Ann had starred in pornographic movies. When Graham, convinced that movie scenes are actual, seeks out these films compulsively, he loses track of reality and what this leads to is definitely not funny.
Because Barnes is a skillful writer the book is interesting, and, with some stretch of disbelief, even plausible. Original? Yes. Funny ? No.
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LibraryThing member kousouna
An extremely entertaining read.I love Julian Barnes!!!
LibraryThing member kirstiecat
Julian Barnes has tremendous ability as a writer, as I discovered in The Sense of an Ending and currently now in The History of the World in 10 1/2 chapters. Unfortunately, I feel this would be one of his weaker novels and would not recommend it to anyone but a completist who loves everything else
So, while this novel does not put me off completely from Barnes, aside from a little bit at the end and the way the perspective switches back and forth between mainly two male protagonists and the female caught in the love triangle (with guest appearances by the female's mother and a couple of other axillary characters), the novel is largely formulaic. The plot, especially, is trite, and Barnes almost half-heartedly admits it at one point that the love affair with the best friend is predictable and overdone...so why did he do it? I'm really not sure about all of that. I think he thought he was setting up interesting characters. Gillian is an art restorer who peels away layers after layers of paint to reveal what is underneath. Stuart is a low on confidence banker and Oliver is an educated and posh sort of person who has difficulty telling the truth and has been involved in other scandals involving teaching English (and another less verbal language) to those who are learning it as a second language. The novel is set mainly in England with a little bit of it in America and a little bit in France. It was interesting hearing the different perspective of sometimes all three main characters on one event but the unfortunate thing is that even usually wasn't all that amazing to read about the first time. But, Barnes does indeed charm just a little bit with his active voice and his characters acknowledging they have a captive audience and try to win the reader over to his/her side of thing. That is definitely one strength of the book.
But again, the plot for the most part is largely predictable and the biggest loss I felt was for Gillian, who in the end makes a decision that is perhaps the more common one but I still didn't agree with it. This also gets back to why I love my favorite books-it's usually because I love the characters. The writing style and plot help, sure...but most of the time even if something is well written and unpredictable, I still have to love the characters. I have to share in their sadnesses and joys. I have to believe in their selves and adventures. If a writer explores only despicable characters (which I admit many great novels have done), I generally find the reading a harrowing experience and don't enjoy it too much.
That said, I didn't really enjoy Talking It Over very much. It was trite and I just didn't like any of the characters. I could sympathize with Stuart a bit but that's where it ended. There are many novels in this world and we're all short on time. Go read something else!
Quotes I liked.
pg. 11 "Imagine the organ of recollection as a left-luggage clerk at some thrumming terminus who looks after your picayune possessions until you next need them. Now consider what you're asking him to take care of. And for so little money! And for so little thanks! It's no wonder the counter isn't manned half the time. My way with memory is to entrust it only with things it will take some pride in looking after."
17 "If you remember your past too well you start blaming your present for it.
...
They say that as you get older, you remember your earliest years better. One of the many tank traps that lie ahead: senility's revenge. Have I told you my Theory of Life by the way? Life is like invading Russia. A blitz start, massed shakos, plumes dancing like a flustered henhouse; a period of svelte progress recorded in ebullient dispatches as the enemy falls back; then the beginning of a long, morale-sapping trudge with rations getting shorter and the first snowflakes upon your face. The enemy burns Moscow and you yield to General January whose fingernails are very icicles. Bitter retreat. Harrying Cossacks. Eventually you fall beneath a boy-gunner's grapeshot while crossing some Polish river not even marked on your general's map."
pg. 64 "I was also gone in the sense that I was transformed, made over. You know that story of the man who wakes up and finds he's turned into a beetle? I was the beetle who woke up and saw the possibility of being a man."
pg. 175 "You've got to be responsible for your own happiness-you can't expect it to come flopping through the door like a parcel. You've got to be practical in these matters. People sit at home thinking Some Day My Prince Will Come. But that's no good unless you've got a sign up saying Princes Welcome Here."
pg. 247 "I';; tell you something you haven't heard before. Pravda is Russian for truth. No, I guessed yo knew that. What I'm going to tell you is this: there is no rhyme for pravda in Russian. Ponder and weigh that insufficiency. Doesn't that just echo down the canyons of your mind?"
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Barnes has ever done. This is not to say that it's toss away garbage but there are others one should definitely read first surely (the other two I mentioned, for instance). I'd also love to receive further recommendations about Barnes' novels if anyone has them!So, while this novel does not put me off completely from Barnes, aside from a little bit at the end and the way the perspective switches back and forth between mainly two male protagonists and the female caught in the love triangle (with guest appearances by the female's mother and a couple of other axillary characters), the novel is largely formulaic. The plot, especially, is trite, and Barnes almost half-heartedly admits it at one point that the love affair with the best friend is predictable and overdone...so why did he do it? I'm really not sure about all of that. I think he thought he was setting up interesting characters. Gillian is an art restorer who peels away layers after layers of paint to reveal what is underneath. Stuart is a low on confidence banker and Oliver is an educated and posh sort of person who has difficulty telling the truth and has been involved in other scandals involving teaching English (and another less verbal language) to those who are learning it as a second language. The novel is set mainly in England with a little bit of it in America and a little bit in France. It was interesting hearing the different perspective of sometimes all three main characters on one event but the unfortunate thing is that even usually wasn't all that amazing to read about the first time. But, Barnes does indeed charm just a little bit with his active voice and his characters acknowledging they have a captive audience and try to win the reader over to his/her side of thing. That is definitely one strength of the book.
But again, the plot for the most part is largely predictable and the biggest loss I felt was for Gillian, who in the end makes a decision that is perhaps the more common one but I still didn't agree with it. This also gets back to why I love my favorite books-it's usually because I love the characters. The writing style and plot help, sure...but most of the time even if something is well written and unpredictable, I still have to love the characters. I have to share in their sadnesses and joys. I have to believe in their selves and adventures. If a writer explores only despicable characters (which I admit many great novels have done), I generally find the reading a harrowing experience and don't enjoy it too much.
That said, I didn't really enjoy Talking It Over very much. It was trite and I just didn't like any of the characters. I could sympathize with Stuart a bit but that's where it ended. There are many novels in this world and we're all short on time. Go read something else!
Quotes I liked.
pg. 11 "Imagine the organ of recollection as a left-luggage clerk at some thrumming terminus who looks after your picayune possessions until you next need them. Now consider what you're asking him to take care of. And for so little money! And for so little thanks! It's no wonder the counter isn't manned half the time. My way with memory is to entrust it only with things it will take some pride in looking after."
17 "If you remember your past too well you start blaming your present for it.
...
They say that as you get older, you remember your earliest years better. One of the many tank traps that lie ahead: senility's revenge. Have I told you my Theory of Life by the way? Life is like invading Russia. A blitz start, massed shakos, plumes dancing like a flustered henhouse; a period of svelte progress recorded in ebullient dispatches as the enemy falls back; then the beginning of a long, morale-sapping trudge with rations getting shorter and the first snowflakes upon your face. The enemy burns Moscow and you yield to General January whose fingernails are very icicles. Bitter retreat. Harrying Cossacks. Eventually you fall beneath a boy-gunner's grapeshot while crossing some Polish river not even marked on your general's map."
pg. 64 "I was also gone in the sense that I was transformed, made over. You know that story of the man who wakes up and finds he's turned into a beetle? I was the beetle who woke up and saw the possibility of being a man."
pg. 175 "You've got to be responsible for your own happiness-you can't expect it to come flopping through the door like a parcel. You've got to be practical in these matters. People sit at home thinking Some Day My Prince Will Come. But that's no good unless you've got a sign up saying Princes Welcome Here."
pg. 247 "I';; tell you something you haven't heard before. Pravda is Russian for truth. No, I guessed yo knew that. What I'm going to tell you is this: there is no rhyme for pravda in Russian. Ponder and weigh that insufficiency. Doesn't that just echo down the canyons of your mind?"
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LibraryThing member poolspy
yep they sure talked it over
LibraryThing member PhilipJHunt
A deft work in three main voices. Our understanding of the characters and our allegiances shift as we go along. The voices are distinct and engaging. Oliver, who "talks like a dictionary" is best followed with a dictionary close at hand, but this doesn't distract. Fun and easy to read. Brilliantly
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done. Show Less
LibraryThing member viviennestrauss
Wish I had went with my gut instinct and quit reading this last fall. Ending up skimming the last 50 pages. No likable characters and overuse of the word "crepuscular" specifically and overall pretentiousness generally.
LibraryThing member Stuckey_Bowl
yep they sure talked it over
LibraryThing member oldblack
I had a bit of a love-hate relationship with this book. In the end I came away from the reading experience still not sure how I felt about it. There's a character in the book - Oliver - who is always talking in a joking manner, and I think I confused this character's behaviour with the author's
"My wife let me down, my best friend let me down, it was only my character and my bloody tendency to feel guilt that made me not see this before. They let me down. And so I formulated a principle. I don't know if you follow rugby, but some years ago there was a famous saying in the game: Get your retaliation in first. And now the way I live my life is according to this principle: Get your disappointment in first. Disappoint them before they disappoint you." (p.226)
In connection with love and marriage, Stuart concludes: "Money can't buy you love? Oh yes it can. And as I say, love is just a system for getting someone to call you Darling after sex." (p. 234)
The wife, Gillian, (wife first to Stuart and then to Oliver) acquires a pragmatic approach:
"It's unfair? What's fair? When did fair have much to do with the way we run our lives? There's no time to think about that. I just have to get on with it." (p.266).
The book ends with Gillian implementing a plan. The reasoning behind the plan, and the longer term outcome of its implementation were not at all clear to me. Perhaps Barnes is just trying to coerce us to buy the sequel, "Love, etc."? One LT reviewer commented that the sequel, too, left the reader up in the air and he/she wondered whether there was a third book in the series. I'm not sure that Barnes's plan will be successful in my case. Watch this space.
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intent, thinking that the author was trying to write a funny book. Actually, I don't think that's the case at all. In fact Oliver can be seen as a rather sad individual. Indeed, all the main characters can be seen as sad. Certainly they develop quite a degree of cynicism. The other main male character, Stuart, says: "My wife let me down, my best friend let me down, it was only my character and my bloody tendency to feel guilt that made me not see this before. They let me down. And so I formulated a principle. I don't know if you follow rugby, but some years ago there was a famous saying in the game: Get your retaliation in first. And now the way I live my life is according to this principle: Get your disappointment in first. Disappoint them before they disappoint you." (p.226)
In connection with love and marriage, Stuart concludes: "Money can't buy you love? Oh yes it can. And as I say, love is just a system for getting someone to call you Darling after sex." (p. 234)
The wife, Gillian, (wife first to Stuart and then to Oliver) acquires a pragmatic approach:
"It's unfair? What's fair? When did fair have much to do with the way we run our lives? There's no time to think about that. I just have to get on with it." (p.266).
The book ends with Gillian implementing a plan. The reasoning behind the plan, and the longer term outcome of its implementation were not at all clear to me. Perhaps Barnes is just trying to coerce us to buy the sequel, "Love, etc."? One LT reviewer commented that the sequel, too, left the reader up in the air and he/she wondered whether there was a third book in the series. I'm not sure that Barnes's plan will be successful in my case. Watch this space.
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LibraryThing member saschenka
First of two parter, with "Love, Etc." Use of unreliable, multi narrator dialog, an urbane Roshomon. Could have been edited down more. Unlikeable characters (except for Madame Wyatt) demonstrate the way we invent our lives and the lives of others, the pointlessness and inevitability of wishing
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others were capable of change (read: different than they truly are) so that we could love them better -- so that we could love ourselves better. Damaged people damaging other damaged people. Reviews a bit over the top. Show Less