Know my name : a memoir

by Chanel Miller

Hardcover, 2019

Status

Available

Publication

New York : Viking, 2019.

Description

Biography & Autobiography. Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:Universally acclaimed, rapturously reviewed, winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award for autobiography, and an instant New York Times bestseller, Chanel Miller's breathtaking memoir "gives readers the privilege of knowing her not just as Emily Doe, but as Chanel Miller the writer, the artist, the survivor, the fighter." (The Wrap). "I opened Know My Name with the intention to bear witness to the story of a survivor. Instead, I found myself falling into the hands of one of the great writers and thinkers of our time. Chanel Miller is a philosopher, a cultural critic, a deep observer, a writer's writer, a true artist. I could not put this phenomenal book down." â??Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Love Warrior and Untamed "Know My Name is a gut-punch, and in the end, somehow, also blessedly hopeful." â??Washington Post She was known to the world as Emily Doe when she stunned millions with a letter. Brock Turner had been sentenced to just six months in county jail after he was found sexually assaulting her on Stanford's campus. Her victim impact statement was posted on BuzzFeed, where it instantly went viralâ??viewed by eleven million people within four days, it was translated globally and read on the floor of Congress; it inspired changes in California law and the recall of the judge in the case. Thousands wrote to say that she had given them the courage to share their own experiences of assault for the first time. Now she reclaims her identity to tell her story of trauma, transcendence, and the power of words. It was the perfect case, in many waysâ??there were eyewitnesses, Turner ran away, physical evidence was immediately secured. But her struggles with isolation and shame during the aftermath and the trial reveal the oppression victims face in even the best-case scenarios. Her story illuminates a culture biased to protect perpetrators, indicts a criminal justice system designed to fail the most vulnerable, and, ultimately, shines with the courage required to move through suffering and live a full and beautiful life. Know My Name will forever transform the way we think about sexual assault, challenging our beliefs about what is acceptable and speaking truth to the tumultuous reality of healing. It also introduces readers to an extraordinary writer, one whose words have already changed our world. Entwining pain, resilience, and humor, this memoir will stand as a modern classic. Chosen as a BEST BOOK OF 2019 by The New York Times Book Review, The Washington Post, TIME, Elle, Glamour, Parade, Chicago Tribune, Baltimore Sun, B… (more)

Media reviews

Miller is an extraordinary writer: plain, precise and moving. The memoir's sharpest moments focus on her family and their grief over her attack.

User reviews

LibraryThing member lauralkeet
In January, 2015 a young woman was sexually while attending a party at Stanford University. The assailant was a first-year student on a swimming scholarship. The victim, Chanel Miller, remained anonymous until recently, known to the public only as “Emily Doe.” Know my Name is Miller’s deeply
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personal account of the assault, the aftermath, and the legal process that finally came to an end in 2018.

This is one of the most intense and emotional books I have ever read. Miller writes with a strong, authentic voice and doesn’t mince words. She begins by describing her experience waking up on a gurney after the assault, her body’s condition, and the gradual realization of what happened to her. This is horrific and difficult reading, made even more so by Miller’s candor about the impact of this traumatic event on her mental and emotional health and her relationships with important people in her life.

While reading this memoir, I was compelled to keep going, but the emotional impact was palpable. I had to force myself to take breaks, reading smaller segments in order not to be overwhelmed. That this happened to me, a reader with no personal connections or experience, says a lot about what it must have been like for Miller, and what it must be like for any victim of sexual assault.

In the latter part of the book, Miller turns her attention to more recent cases of sexual assault involving high-powered public figures like Harvey Weinstein and the 45th President of the United States. She describes the evolution of public discourse and opinion, and her hopes for the future. It’s worth noting that Miller has twice been recognized as one of Glamour’s women of the year: first in 2016, as Emily Doe, and again in 2019 as herself. I suspect we haven’t seen the last of Chanel Miller, and hope she continues to be a voice for change.
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LibraryThing member barlow304
This book, although beautifully written, is a hard one to finish. That's due to the subject matter, a sexual assault and its devastating consequences for the person who was attacked: Chanel Miller.

In luminous and crystalline prose, Chanel Miller proudly reclaims her identity, while admitting that
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the courtroom alias, Emily Doe, helped her during the early days of the case to function somewhat normally. As Ms. Miller makes clear, however, she was not feeling normal, but hid her hurt from those around her as long as she could. The passages on the legal system and the court trial are riveting, so that the eventual sentence comes through clearly as a miscarriage of justice.

For anyone interested in the court system and how it struggles to protect victims, for anyone brave enough to share Ms. Miller's pain for a while, this book is highly recommended.
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LibraryThing member larryerick
I was struggling a bit to figure out how to approach reviewing this book, and then Washington Post columnist, Monica Hesse, helped me out with a new article today about the Harvey "MeToo" Weinstein trial. In the article, Hesse points out a hypothetical burglary trial where the alleged victim is
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asked by the defense attorney, "But what were you wearing that night your TV disappeared? Are you sure you didn’t say something that would make the defendant believe you wanted him to take the TV? Hey, didn’t you once have a dispute with a landlord?" It doesn't take a big leap to replace "burglary" with "rape" to see how ridiculous the defense attorney's questions for a rape suspect commonly are. I have some analysis of where this book fits with that WAPO column and other resources, but I must admit, for purposes of claiming any credibility, that I am so far removed from sexual interactions, of any type, I'm like a black rotary phone in the bottom of a big box up in the dusty attic of a house the city wants to buy, raze, and turn into a dog park. I'm working entirely from old memory here. There are good books with a more academic slant, such as Kate Harding's Asking for It, which try to examine the social and legal hurdles sexual assault victims must confront. And, of course, there is the often totally raw responses that the Roxane Gay anthology, Not That Bad, presents. From my limited perspective, this book absorbs all of what those books offer and expands on them, filling nearly every crack and crevice possible. It is a stunning work. The bulk of the book is the author's full journey through a devastating series of events where an actual sexual assault is but one of many abuses suffered. As if that deeply personal reporting to the reader is not enough, the author then goes beyond the confines of her own case into the Trump, Weinstein, Cosby, and myriad of other contemporary phenomena in the public consciousness. It is both painful memoir and a master class on sexual assault cases. I fully acknowledge my diminished qualifications to say so, but I would think that every female, every person, subject to potential sexual assault, or who has suffered sexual assault, or who has narrowly avoided sexual assault, should read this book. Even those males whose genital blood supply isn't directly connected to the power/hate portions of their brain cells could benefit from knowing the full depth of what their fellow humans have been confronting.
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LibraryThing member thereserose5
Chanel's voice is authentic, strong, and eloquent. There are many nuggets of wisdom that can be gleamed from her story.
LibraryThing member Beth.Clarke
Chanel's emotional story is certainly painful, but her writing is exquisite. The reader is given her first hand experience of how sexual assault affects not only the victim, but everyone. Chanel praises the heroes that helped her and displays the actions of the savages that hurt her over and over
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again. Read this book. Understand Chanel. Go vote in November! We can do better.
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LibraryThing member msf59
“Hold up your head when the tears come, when you are mocked, insulted, questioned, threatened, when they tell you you are nothing, when your body is reduced to openings. The journey will be longer than you imagined, trauma will find you again and again. Do not become the ones who hurt you. Stay
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tender with your power. Never fight to injure, fight to uplift.”

“My pain was never more valuable than his potential.”

Chanel Miller, at age 22, was sexually assaulted, while attending a college frat party, at Stanford University.
She woke up in the hospital, having no idea what had happened. She became Emily Doe. Her attacker was Brock Turner, a star swimming athlete, at the school. He was revered. She was scorned.
This memoir is Miller's attempt to reclaim her identity and tell her story, which was sparked by her victim impact statement, that she stated in court. These strong, heart-rending words, quickly caught fire, online and she was universally admired for her courage and tenacity.
I saw Miller being interviewed on 60 Minutes, a few months back and was impressed at the way she presented herself. Her writing is no different. She is a natural. Not an easy read. The reader will be disturbed and infuriated, in equal measures, but the triumph of this story wins out. Her timing is perfect too, with the Weinsteins, and Cosbys of the world, finally paying a price for decades of abuse.
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LibraryThing member carolfoisset
Wow - what an impactful book, what an amazing writer. Chanel gave me insight to sexual violence that I did not have before- even as a woman. I have already recommended this book to others. Some women say "the topic is too difficult" and I try to tell them that this is the book they need to read on
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this subject. We need to hear her story. I wish the best for her - what a strong woman and I hope that she continues to write - she is a beautiful writer.
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LibraryThing member PhilipJHunt
After the last page, number 375, I sat back and released the biggest SIGH. Did I breathe at all from page 1? Even knowing the outcome in advance of the court case did nothing to relieve the tension Chanel creates through her awful ordeal. Don't take my word for it. READ IT. And, yes, WEEP.

This is
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a gifted, intelligent writer and communicator who has crafted one of the great books of this century. Read it slowly. Every word is intended. Every sentence fits. It's a work of literary art.
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LibraryThing member Narshkite
First, Miller's courage is truly admirable. She says she was persuaded by the bravery of Christine Blassey Ford to reveal her own identity, and I am sure Miller's choice to tell her truth will give other women the courage to come forward. This is how we strike back at a culture which minimizes the
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impact of rape. I was not so brave when it was me a lifetime ago. My admiration is real.

Miller is a good (not great, but good) writer and makes many good choices here. All that said she is very young with very little life experience. Her broad overly confident indictments of the justice system and higher education's response to sexual assault on campus are occassionally tin eared and nearly always display a lack of foundational knowledge. I do not question her statements as they apply to her case. Objectively, the judge was a privileged white man who used his power to protect privileged white males. Objectively, Stanford mucked up their response in this case. But. As a lawyer who now codirects a program at a large universty's law school, I can tell you that protecting our students and providing support to victims and censure to perpetrators is something we work very hard to do right. We so because we care deeply about our students and all people who visit our campuses. This is our community, and making it a place of humanity, of equality, of respect is paramount. This is not because we fear legal consequences (though we are and must be mindful of those) but because we believe in these fundamental principles. I would be shocked to learn this was any less true at Stanford than at the school where I am employed. Miller's account of her experience can help us all be better, but her cultural commentary sometimes ends up being pat "Karen on Facebook" answers to complex problems. These sorts of pronouncments often lead to empty changes meant to placate rather then remedy. She attributes motivations to people with no information and makes pronouncements about how things should be that ignore the very purposes of the legal system and the realities of a university campus. Her attack on the rights of defendants is simply incorrect. Our Constitution is there to protect individuals in their dealings with the government, not to protect victims from non-government perpetrators. I am not saying victims should not find support granted by law, but low taxes do away with those sorts of services that do not stem from Constitutional guarantees. Protections for defendants come from the Constituition, and though budget cuts shave those protections very close, the states cannot (and should not) ignore them. They are the foundation of liberty.

Though imperfect this is an unquestionably good book, it should be mandatory reading for freshmen and again, I am grateful to and in awe of Chanel Miller.
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LibraryThing member snash
A raw, honest, and perceptive telling of the impact of rape and the judicial system on a victim.
LibraryThing member villemezbrown
I'm grateful that Chanel Miller was able to find it in herself to produce this amazing book in the wake of the hardships she has endured. It is devastating, it is inspiring, it is an education.

Near the end of the book she details a dispute with Stanford over a proposed plaque in a garden that
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replaced the dumpster at the site where Brock Turner assaulted her. I researched and was happy to see that Stanford finally relented after four (!) years and used one of the quotes Miller provided. Now I hope they install the other monument she proposes for the nearby site where Turner was tackled, one that reads, "What the fuck are you doing? Do you think this is okay?" There are still too many men who need to take a knee there and think hard about their answers.
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LibraryThing member Citizenjoyce
Chanel Miller is the woman who was raped by Brock Turner and whose identity was hidden for years. Wow, did he pick the wrong woman! He thought she was just some drunk he could wipe himself on, and instead she's intelligent, perceptive and articulate. She describes what it is like to spend years
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trying to prove that you don't deserve to be raped - how can you possibly do that? She describes both the courtroom scenes and her recovery so that even those of us who can't understand how a person could still suffer from a rape years later finally get it. I recommend it to everyone, especially to judges. I googled what's going on with Brock Turner these days and found accounts of his working as a lawn man or in a manufacturing plant for $12 an hour. This rich guy with all his connections, how could that be true? Then I realized, he was on parole for 3 years, he had to hold a job and act like a good guy. Well, that's over now, so I imagine his family will cushion his damaged psyche, but he still has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. I imagine that could be an inconvenience.
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LibraryThing member rmarcin
Extremely powerful memoir written by Chanel Miller about her assault and rape by Brock Turner and her journey through the trial and finding her way back to her life. She is a powerful advocate for females to understand their power. Her journey was filled with emotional distress and pain, and she
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tells it all with sincerity and raw feelings. This is not an easy book to read, but it is a necessary and important read.
She points our all the faults with our system, the victim shaming, the problem with the courts and society’s opinions, and the acceptance of men’s poor behavior, decisions, and sexual assault. Call it what it is-assault, and make them take responsibility.
Thank God for the two Swedes, thank God for Chanel Miller, and for all those who support her every day.
#KnowMyName #ChanelMille
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LibraryThing member tinkerbellkk
The true story of a young woman who was sexually assaulted and was treated so badly by the judicial system. At every turn it seemed that the unthinkable happened to her and yet she still persevered and continued to fight. It is a very sad story but I am happy that she was able to put pen to paper
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and tell the story. Well done.
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LibraryThing member WiserWisegirl
It is not fair to this brilliant author that I cannot give a fifth star, ONLY because I do not usually read books with a disturbing subject like a rape victim disenfranchised by our social, cultural, economic, and court system. Chanel is so cool and makes this uncomfortable topic readable. Her gift
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is communicating her experience authentically. You walk the timeline of her attack, pretrial, and trial with no injected drama, but zero holding back on her story. She includes effects and experiences of her friends and family with vulnerability as they walk the walk. Her own mental and life survival strains and how her people must support her in her bubble of limbo are part of the shared anxieties. I listened to the audio version, and Chanel read it herself. Recommended. Her voice as an author shows her true literary gift. Her audio-reader voice immerses you in her story with a real life understanding and a validity of expression. I can painfully say I understand the victim experience more fully through the lens of Chanel's gifted communication.
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LibraryThing member WiserWisegirl
It is not fair to this brilliant author that I cannot give a fifth star, ONLY because I do not usually read books with a disturbing subject like a rape victim disenfranchised by our social, cultural, economic, and court system. Chanel is so cool and makes this uncomfortable topic readable. Her gift
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is communicating her experience authentically. You walk the timeline of her attack, pretrial, and trial with no injected drama, but zero holding back on her story. She includes effects and experiences of her friends and family with vulnerability as they walk the walk. Her own mental and life survival strains and how her people must support her in her bubble of limbo are part of the shared anxieties. I listened to the audio version, and Chanel read it herself. Recommended. Her voice as an author shows her true literary gift. Her audio-reader voice immerses you in her story with a real life understanding and a validity of expression. I can painfully say I understand the victim experience more fully through the lens of Chanel's gifted communication.
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LibraryThing member KallieGrace
Five stars, way too relatable. This is what it is to be a woman. Chanel is a fantastic writer.
LibraryThing member mcelhra
Chanel Miller is the woman that Brock Turner raped behind a dumpster while she was unconscious. The case sparked a national outcry when Turner was sentenced to just six months in the county jail. Chanel’s eloquent victim statement went viral, eventually leading to the recall of the judge that
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presided over the case.

Chanel reads the audiobook herself, which made listening to it just that much more heartbreaking and personal. Before I started, I wondered how she could get a whole book out of what happened – I was thinking there would maybe be enough material for a long magazine article. Boy, was I wrong. I was truly stunned by the amount of time she had to take out of her life to prepare for trial. It took over three years. During that time, she was also dealing with the trauma of the rape itself. There was no way she could hold down a job. I found myself wondering how any victim carries through with a rape trial – it takes a lot of time and energy.

One thing that surprised me was that Chanel became an amateur stand-up comedian as part of her healing journey. I looked for a clip online but I couldn’t find one – I’m really interested in seeing her act. I wonder if she’s still performing. I did watch a clip of her being interviewed by Trevor Noah on The Daily Show and was impressed with her sense of humor.

Chanel does a great job of pointing out how prevalent rape culture is. For instance, the focus of most “unbiased” news articles was on how Turner’s life would be impacted and wasn’t it a shame. Very little was about the impact on Chanel’s life. And Turner’s father said something like, “Brock shouldn’t be punished for the rest of his life for 20 minutes.” That made my stomach turn. No wonder Turner was so entitled as to think he could have his way with someone just because she was passed out.

Know My Name is an unflinchingly honest, important memoir. Highly recommended.
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LibraryThing member rosienotrose
Know My Name by Chanel Miller
Content warning for graphic depictions of sexual assault

This book is amazing, and I wish it didn't exist. It makes me angry and sad and furious. It makes me scream in injustice and break down in tears.

As women we carry around the possibility of sexual assault our
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whole lives. We are shown time and again that the world is not safe for us. Every woman has a story about a guy on the street, or in a club, or at work. A boyfriend who got too handsy, a stranger invading our space. And for many it's not a possibility but a reality.

Chanel Miller speaks about her own reality with startling honesty and compassionate detail about the horror and humiliation of what happened to her. She speaks about her life before Brock Turner assaulted her unconscious body outside of a Stanford frat party. She speaks about waking up in the hospital not knowing what had happened. No one really explaining why she was there. One officer saying they thought she might have been assaulted but it could turn out to be nothing.

It was not nothing.

This book was always going to be important but what makes it stand out is how skilled Chanel is as a writer. How in the midst of a book about sexual assault she places her own story in the centre. She is not just a body. She is not just a victim. She is a protective big sister, a funny stand up, an artist, a foster mom to aging dogs, she is so many more things that got lost or ignored in the wake of her assault when she became Brock Turner's victim, Brock Turner's accuser not a person in her own right but only how she relates to him and his actions. His future.

Over the course of the book, she becomes an advocate. First for herself and then for other survivors. I listened to this on audiobook and at fifteen hours it is long. Chanel has a slow way of talking that draws out the content longer than another narrator might have but to hear her own words in her own voice was an important and brave decision.

A book I would recommend everyone to read.
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LibraryThing member Okies
I have nothing but admiration for Chanel Miller picking up pen and creating this book from her experience of campus rape.

The fact that she reads the audiobook has authenticity of course, but I did not enjoy her voice. Not many of us do have voices that are a pleasure to listen to through the length
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of a book. Also, the start is very good, but the long flashback that tells us about her and her family right after that - this is not the work of a journalist. In the hands of a journalist, this would have resulted in a better audiobook - and may make a bigger impact on the world - which the book deserves.
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LibraryThing member Danielle.Desrochers
I don’t even know what to say about this book. It was so harrowing, and real and brutal. It made trauma tangible and like something that can’t be alien anymore. More people need to read this, read her victim impact statement and understand that 1 in 5 is real.
LibraryThing member kakadoo202
Eye opening on the process of rape trial. Heartbreaking.
Some parts a bit choppy written
LibraryThing member LynnB
So powerful. Chanel Miller writes a brutally honest account of her rape and its aftermath. She shows us the invasiveness of documenting her injuries. The unfeeling court process where her victimhood was judged as harshly, if not more so, as the crime. She shows us so tragically about the impact on
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herself, and on those who love her. I thank her for finding the courage to pursue justice and to write this book.

Everyone should read her Victim Impact Statement. I would make it required reading in high schools.

As I read the reviews posted below, I wonder how many men have read/will read this book. Ideally man would and thus develop a deeper understanding of life as a woman subjected to sexual violence. Am I asking for the impossible?
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