Men explain things to me

by Rebecca Solnit

Other authorsAna Teresa Fernandez (Photographer)
Paper Book, 2014




Chicago, Illinois : Haymarket Books, [2014]


"In her comic, scathing essay "Men Explain Things to Me," Rebecca Solnit took on what often goes wrong in conversations between men and women. She wrote about men who wrongly assume they know things and wrongly assume women don't, about why this arises, and how this aspect of the gender wars works, airing some of her own hilariously awful encounters. She ends on a serious note-- because the ultimate problem is the silencing of women who have something to say, including those saying things like, "He's trying to kill me!" This book features that now-classic essay with six perfect complements, including an examination of the great feminist writer Virginia Woolf 's embrace of mystery, of not knowing, of doubt and ambiguity, a highly original inquiry into marriage equality, and a terrifying survey of the scope of contemporary violence against women"--… (more)

Similar in this library


½ (475 ratings; 3.9)

User reviews

LibraryThing member RidgewayGirl
Given recent political events, it seemed a good time to revisit Rebecca Solnit. I'd read the opening essay in Men Explain Things to Me and a few other articles by her and she has an ability to cut to the heart of an issue and clearly explain what is going on. The title essay begins with her
Show More
encounter of an older, well-to-do man at a party who, upon hearing she'd written a book about a fairly esoteric subject, proceeded to lecture her about a very important book on the subject that had just been published. When she was finally able to interrupt him long enough to communicate that the book he was telling her about was indeed the book she had written, and which he had only read a review of, his reaction was not to apologize and ask her questions, but to continue his lecture. While this is a particularly blatant example of the phenomenon she discusses in this essay, it's something that happens more often than one would suspect. Her initial essay on the subject led to other women working in academia to also talk about their similar experiences, and then to the coining of the term "mansplaining." Solnit has, as a result, become a polarizing figure.

Which is a shame, because her writing is balanced and relentlessly fair. There's no broad sweeps being made at any group. She's interested in how the conversation surrounding equality has moved forward, and there's no doubt, she says, that we have moved forward, and compares where we were as a society in the 1970s when it came to racial, sexual or gender equality. We are still working towards a more just society, but what we're fighting for has changed.

Solnit is an academic and historian and so her essays are serious and well-reasoned. She's interested in the environment and anti-war activism as well. Men Explain Things To Me is a hopeful and determined look at our progress toward a more just world, with a clear-eyed look at where we are now and why it matters.
Show Less
LibraryThing member Devil_llama
This work springboarded from an essay of the same name in which the author, an accomplished scholar, details how men (who know nothing about her field) sit her down and explain things to her. While she acknowledges that this can happen to both genders, she details the fact that this happens to
Show More
women all the time, with a greater frequency than for men. She then moves on to discuss other aspects of feminism, which she proudly embraces without resort to disclaimers. The only weakness in the book, in my opinion, was the essay on Virginia Woolf, which seemed a bit fringe for this book. It did deal tangentially with the idea of feminism, but it wasn't as compelling as the other essays in the book. The author writes lightly, so the book is readable, but not so lightly that it renders a serious subject trivial. This book should be a must read for anyone who thinks we're living in a post-sexist society.
Show Less
LibraryThing member sturlington
A short collection of essays provides fertile ground for growing new ideas.

When I first started reading Solnit's essays, I felt angry. That's okay; I'm used to feeling angry. What I liked about this collection is that she goes beyond anger, which can lead all too easily to feelings of despair and
Show More
hopelessness, and she does provide hope for a brighter future, as well as an impetus that we all keep doing our small part because everyone's work toward equality is important. Many reviewers have commented on "Woolf's Darkness" as an outlier piece in this collection, but it was the essay I most highlighted, because it talks about how creative work gets done and ties that into the limitations placed on women, and also because it introduces the idea that the future is dark. We cannot know what will happen in the future or how our actions now might make a difference. We are all spinners in a web, and how those threads come together, we just don't know, but those threads are all necessary, so we cannot stop our work, whatever it may be. We all make a difference.

Solnit says in this essay: "To me, the grounds for hope are simply that we don't know what will happen next, and that the unlikely and the unimaginable transpire quite regularly. And that the unofficial history of the world shows that dedicated individuals and popular movements can shape history and have, though how and when we might win and how long it takes is not predictable."

"Despair is a form of certainty, certainty that the future will be a lot like the present or will decline from it; despair is a confident memory of the future, in Gonzalez's resonant phrase. Optimism is similarly confident about what will happen. Both are grounds for not acting. Hope can be the knowledge that we don't have that memory and that reality doesn't necessarily match our plans..."

While this essay spoke volumes to me, my favorite essay was "Grandmother Spider," which begins by showing how women have been erased from family lines and thus from history, and ends by honoring the work of women, all of it, and how it taken together weaves an intricate and beautiful web:

"Every woman who appears wrestles with the forces that would have her disappear. She struggles with the forces that would tell her story for her, or write her out of the story, the genealogy, the rights of man, the rule of law. The ability to tell your own story, in words or images, is already a victory, already a revolt."

An inspiring collection for all people.
Show Less
LibraryThing member lydia1879
So I just finished this book last night and I think it's really valuable to read.

I think it was valuable for me to read a book published so recently, because so often I hear that women are already considered equals and we don't need feminism in today's society. We do.

Solnit wrote a book that I
Show More
thought was really relatable and also packed with a lot of evidence of numbers and statistics and presents interesting case studies. The numbers made it a little bit dry at times, and it's sad that she needed so much evidence to prove her point. (Or that she had such a wealth to choose from) but I thought they were important, even if they did detract from the essays a little bit.

She talks about issues that are very dear to me (marriage equality, trolling, rape culture) and makes wonderful arguments for them all. I loved her essay on Virginia Woolf and I don't really have a favourite essay but as always, you prefer some to others.

This is a really short and sweet book and a really good resource! I'm hoping to read Laura Bates' Everyday Sexism after this - I'll be on the lookout for more recently published feminist books.
Show Less
LibraryThing member froxgirl
Of course I chose this for the title, but it turned out to be a good read. The author had written a critically praised non-fiction book and, at a party, was lectured about the book by a man who (a) hadn't read it, and (b) was told several times that THE WOMAN HE WAS MANSPLAINING WAS THE AUTHOR. He
Show More
still took some time to back down. That's the essence of the first essay. I remember Deborah Tannen saying in one of her books that women speak to share and men speak to instruct.

The other six essays are solid, especially one where Solnit posits that some of the resentment about gay marriage is actually hatred of marriage equality, whereby straight men and straight women are striving towards gender equity within their relationships. Except for the ones that don't.

More on violence and on Virginia Woolf. Short and very readable.
Show Less
LibraryThing member Kaethe
I enjoyed the explicitly feminist essays the most

Library copy
LibraryThing member sparemethecensor
Highly recommended for the titular essay alone, but nearly every essay in this short volume is worth reading. A very thought-provoking book. I have experienced many of the themes described in this book, including men explaining things to me, so I really connected. But even if you haven't, this is
Show More
thought-provoking about a number of topics, including violence against women and conservative objections to gay marriage.

As other reviewers have noted, the Virginia Woolf essay seems out of place, but I did find it interesting just I just read Mrs. Dalloway a few months ago.
Show Less
LibraryThing member MargaretPinardAuthor
The first half was what I thought the book would be about, and the second half drifted to touch on some of the themes of Solnit's other works. I'm a big fan of hers, so it was interesting, but the first part was best. It brings together very recent (2012) events in the course of explaining the
Show More
phenomenon of sexual entitlement, still operating in the US and around the world today. Made me think.
Show Less
LibraryThing member gregorybrown
Solnit is always great, and this brief collection is no exception. Curiously enough, even though I was impressed by the titular essay when it originally ran online, I actually found it to be one of the weaker pieces here. More damning is a piece where Solnit catalogues the violence against women in
Show More
the world today: an epidemic that so fills your vision that it's hard to even parse as a discrete thing and not just background noise or a bunch of disconnected events.

The essays here might be a good way into Solnit for those unfamiliar or intimidated by her bigger stuff, but most are nowhere near her longer works like River of Shadows, a personal favorite. But hey, hard for me to complain about more published stuff by one of the more exciting and incisive thinkers today.
Show Less
LibraryThing member Tafadhali
I've read the title essay by Rebecca Solnit many times (and invoked it in conversation many, many more), but it was nice to read more widely by her. She has a lucid, sometimes lyrical writing style, and even if most of what she had to say wasn't new to me, she articulated it beautifully --
Show More
especially on points about power dynamics and bodily autonomy.
Show Less
LibraryThing member flydodofly
A short collection of published essays pointing out things about rights of men and women and the need to get into all kinds of dialogues and communication - loudly, repeatedly, so that, possibly, some troubling issues can be overcome - by the society as a whole.
The book includes wonderful strong
Show More
fantastic black and white images of paintings by Ana Teresa Fernandez.
Show Less
LibraryThing member MarysGirl
Finished the first book in my Women's History Month series. "Men Explain Things To Me" is the title essay that inspired the phrase "mansplaining" (Solnit never uses the phrase). Solnit includes eight others covering most of the major issues raised by feminists. The ones that touched my heart as
Show More
well as my head were "Worlds Collide in a Luxury Suite" (dealing with rape and sexual harassment), "In Praise of the Threat: What Marriage Equality Really Means" (the evolution of women as "equal" in marriage as an unintended consequence of gay marriage), and "Cassandra Among the Creeps" (silencing women's voices--"And yet she persisted"). Each essay is illustrated with a haunting image by Ana Teresa Fernandez. It's been decades since I've read any feminist philosophy. It was good to get back into the groove with this collection of thoughtful, sometimes funny, and always accessible essays.
Show Less
LibraryThing member thorold
I sometimes find myself wondering what the purpose of books like this is. You're not very likely to buy this if you're a rapist, wife-beater and/or conservative politician (and even if you did, it's not likely to make you change ideas which were never based on rational argument in the first place);
Show More
if you're a lefty-liberal petition-signing banner-carrying feminist then you know all this stuff already from the newspapers you read, and the only obvious reason to buy the book is to advertise your political credentials by displaying it on your shelf.

But that's missing the point, of course. This isn't written for Guardian readers or the religious right. The people for whom campaigning books like this are really important are the people the book is talking about - in this case women who are victims of male violence or unable to make their voices heard. Reading something like this, even if it is only setting out the problems and not really offering concrete solutions, helps you to realise that you aren't alone, that these are subjects that can be talked about and should be, and that talking about the problem openly and getting others to accept that it is a problem can be the first step on the way to changing the world.

Solnit writes with a good deal of understandable anger and frustration, but the points she makes struck me as fair and balanced - where there's a standard counter-argument she doesn't hesitate to stop and give it a fair hearing (before blasting it out of the water...). A worthwhile book, definitely.
Show Less
LibraryThing member Narshkite
The title essay is flawless, funny and incisive, and instantly relatable. While the other essays were smart and thoughtful, the composition of the book became a little frustrating. Had I read each essay individually at different times I expect I would have had a different and more positive
Show More
reaction. As it was, three of the essays repeated one another a good deal. It was a bit of a Groundhog Day experience, moving from essay to essay and reliving the same discussions. Because of that I would recommend that other readers dip into the book for an essay, put it down and revisit down the road and they will have a better overall reading experience.
Show Less
LibraryThing member automatthias
I picked up the book without much preconception, maybe only that I will read a couple of anecdotes. The book, although it's a collection of essays, turned out to be much deeper than that. The problem for me was that it made references to concepts I didn't know and books I've never read, mainly of
Show More
Virginia Woolf, and Susan Sontag. I think this book is an excellent contemporary commentary on works of Woolf and Sontag, but without having read them I felt lost at times.

The book resembles Everyday Sexism, which I would recommend to people who aren't acquainted with works of Woolf and Sontag.

I'm considering patching up my literary knowledge, and I'm certainly going to look into "tyranny of the quantifiable".
Show Less
LibraryThing member greeniezona
I had already read the title essay from this collection, which is sometimes credited for spawning the term "mansplaining," though that word does not occur in the essay. I enjoyed reading it again, as I also very much enjoyed reading the rest of the essays in this collection.

For one reason and
Show More
another, my Ms. magazines have been piling up unread lately, so it was very refreshing to read essays that did not need to justify their feminism, distance themselves from other feminists, or be followed by a rage-inducing comment section that makes you want to weep for humanity. These essays are smart, unapologetic, make fascinating connections, and somehow make me feel hopeful even as they make it very clear how far feminism still has to go.

Between this book and the last I read, it's clear I really need to read some more Virginia Woolf.

HIghly recommended. A quick and thought-provoking read.
Show Less
LibraryThing member lisapeet
Good stuff. I will basically read anything Rebecca Solnit writes, because she's smart and interesting and makes me think.
LibraryThing member laluneestjolie
Reading this book was eye-opening. Things that I have taken for granted my whole life were being put under a microscope. The lengths women will go to blame themselves for men's shortcomings is astounding. Even when we are right, we are told to be gracious about the we point it out. A man makes an
Show More
intelligent comment and is rewarded. A woman makes an intelligent comment and is undermined by a man who talks louder.

I recommend this to anyone trying to understand what "mansplaining" or "toxic masculinity" really are. Hint: we're not man-haters, we are pointing out real societal problems, like... calling feminists man-haters.

Great series of essays.
Show Less
LibraryThing member libraryhead
The title essay was great. The rest... repetitive preaching to the choir. Also a little dated now, as if anyone could have imagined what US politics would become in 2018. The Woolf piece belonged in another book entirely.
LibraryThing member bowedbookshelf
I liked the title of this and truthfully I thought it would be Solnit relating or interpreting the difference in how men and women approach an issue, a problem, a situation. I can always use that, tone-deaf as I tend to be, as I have taught myself to be. I am curious about how men think, but that
Show More
is all. I don't weight it differently...or at least I hope I don't weight it less than my own view.

This short book of essays or blogposts is rather thoughts from a female point of view which I am already most familiar with, and I applaud Solnit for clarity and wit, and in the later essays, a certain depth of understanding. In the first, eponymous essay Solnit tells us of something all of us (those of any race, creed or sex) may have experienced before when someone to whom we are speaking underestimates (or misunderestimates, as George W. would say) their conversational partner, raving on about something about which they know only a little and about which we may know quite a lot. It sometimes happens to women in the company of men, but it also happens to men which is perhaps why this essay feels so pertinent and fresh to all that encounter it.

Solnit's other essays on how women function, or do not function, in the world are well-argued and instructive, and her extension from that to other injustices we create in our world, i.e., wage inequities, the fear of damage from nuclear reactors or weapons, inequitable marriage laws, make a certain sense. I especially liked her look at the case of the IMF's Dominique Strauss-Kahn since I haven't heard anyone else's take on that since it happened. What a ridiculous example that was of overweening self-regard and lack of fear of prosecution. He didn't, in the end, get away with it but it was a close-run thing.

As sometimes happens in the nature of things, this book came to me at the same time I was introduced to some thinking by Hannah Arendt as a result of the 2013 Margarethe von Trotta film in her name. Arendt is a writer of such depth, eloquence, and profundity that Solnit comes off as fledgling. But I think Arendt would say Solnit is on the right track, and would celebrate and encourage, and perhaps even use her ideas, as Solnit says Sontag did, as the starting point for deep discussion.

She mentions the website for giving several of her essays wide circulation. Looking at that site it looks like a hotbed of political dissent and discussion, and a useful spur to creative disagreement.
Show Less
LibraryThing member DrFuriosa
Solnit pieces apart so many phenomena that make up current feminist hot-button issues, including mansplaining (though the term is not hers in origin) and rape culture. She also discusses the kind of violence that women are vulnerable to in their everyday lives. This is a rich and insightful read,
Show More
and one that both men and women should read in their formative young adult lives.
Show Less
LibraryThing member rivkat
Short book of essays, including the titular one, about mansplaining and Virginia Woolf and hope, as well as about violence against women. I want to believe Solnit that we won’t go backwards, but when Russia is decriminalizing domestic violence I find it hard to sustain hope except as a matter of
Show More
Show Less
LibraryThing member jimrgill
Rebecca Solnit is indignant. And she has every right to be. She also has a sense of humor, which effectively leavens her anger. But make no mistake—her articulate and evocative writing in this collection of nine previously published (mostly online) essays is fueled by a keen sense of social
Show More
justice, especially (but not exclusively) as it pertains to gender.

Perhaps best known for the title essay, she relates the frustratingly bizarre and insulting social interaction that occasioned her writing it. This edition includes a coda that addresses the rise in the use of the term "mansplaining," for which she disavows complete credit while helping to focus the meaning of the word.

Like any effective writer, Solnit supports her arguments (and there are many worth noting) with facts, details, and references. Unfortunately, for anyone wishing to follow up on these references, she omits documentation of her sources, explaining in the Acknowledgments that doing so would have resulted in innumerable “ponderous” footnotes. She does mention that the source citations are available in the online versions of these essays, which is a minor inconvenience.

Despite the brevity of these essays (none exceeds 20 pages), they are indeed powerful and eye-opening declarations. Just try to read “The Longest War” without getting peeved. “Cassandra Among the Creeps” is likewise infuriating. She also provides some much-needed context for the #MeToo movement (which originated after this book’s publication in 2014) with her analysis of the #YesAllWomen movement in the essay of the same name, subtitled “Feminists Rewrite the Story.” One motif that informs every essay in this collection is Solnit’s belief in words, the power they wield, and the power afforded to those brave enough to use them. If you want to know what feminism sounds like in the 21st century, read this book.
Show Less
LibraryThing member terran
The title essay centers around an incident when a man explained to the author why a particular book was such an important one on a subject. Upon being told that she was the author of that book, he was stunned speechless. It relates most directly to the title of the book. Other essays focus on the
Show More
rape culture, feminist movement and ways in which problems of inequality have been made more public and are more widely discussed. The writing seems disjointed because the essays were published separately and are not tied together textually. Very well written with important insights into major societal problems.
Show Less
LibraryThing member deeEhmm
Smart and deeply interesting.


Original publication date


Physical description

160 p.; 20 cm



Other editions

Page: 1.1291 seconds