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A thoughtful and prescriptive work on happiness filled with practical advice, sharp insight, charm, and humor. On the outside, Gretchen Rubin had it all--a good marriage, healthy children and a successful career--but something was missing. Determined to end that nagging feeling, she set out on a year-long quest to learn how to better enjoy the life she already had. Each month, Gretchen pursued a different set of resolutions--go to sleep earlier, tackle a nagging task, bring people together, take time to be silly. She read everything from classical philosophy to cutting-edge scientific studies, from Winston Churchill to Oprah, developing her own definition of happiness and a plan for how to achieve it. She kept track of which resolutions worked and which didn't, sharing her stories and collecting those of others. Bit by bit, she began to appreciate and amplify the happiness in her life. With a wicked sense of humour and sharp insight, Gretchen's story will inspire readers to embrace the pleasure in their lives.--From publisher description.… (more)
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1.) I really am growing weary of the "stunt" genre of books. Do something for
2.) The author really is not particularly likeable. Maybe she's nicer in person, but she casts herself as a bit of a shrew. As I was reading through the marriage chapter (chapter 2, perhaps?), all I could think was, "Good God, I'm glad I'm not married to her." She strikes me as nagging, unpleasant, and intent upon bringing everyone down to make herself feel better. I suppose she gets points for honestly, but not for much else. (And what's with her emailing her husband throughout the day, and then getting snippy because he doesn't respond? Is she his mother? Does he need to check in with her regularly? I found this especially bizarre.)
3.) She is without a doubt a woman of a certain privilege. I suspect she came from money and she certainly married into it. It's all well and good to tell me to take time for myself, take classes, exercise more, etc... I understand she's right about these things. But as a single, working mother, my life is vastly different from hers. Not everyone has the time, money, and other resources readily available to her. This is not to say that I gleaned nothing from this book, but I just can't imagine that many people would find her very relateable.
4.) She really doesn't say anything new. I think we all already know most of her "epiphanies": money may not buy happiness, but it certainly makes it easier; regular exercise makes you happier; hobbies, friends, and a social life will make you happier; etc... While her conscious effort to do all these things (in a year, natch) is perhaps unique, not much of the information contained herein is.
5.) I felt like a fairly big chunk of this book was devoted to quoting comments from her blog. I also feel like these quotes were not separated from her writing very clearly. Perhaps it was a problem unique to the Kindle version, but several times I found myself wondering, "Is this Gretchen or someone else?"
Over all, I wish I could give the book 2.5 stars. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great. It was ok. I can't say that I regret reading it, but I wouldn't go out of my way to recommend it to a friend, either.
The writing is excellent. The
The first thing I began to notice was my negativity. I’m not angry or generally a naysayer, but I can be less than encouraging. Even in positive situations, I can say the wrong thing. This book showed me what the right things to say would be, and I began to see how I could use them.
The big breakthrough this book gave me was the realization that I get to give myself permission to be me. To like what I like, to value what I value, to not do what I don’t want to do. I had taken a baby step in this direction by deciding that if I didn’t like a book, I could put it down without picking up guilt. It was refreshing to read that what I was doing was being myself.
Reframing was a new concept to me. It works like this: you come home from vacation and have a huge pile of laundry to do. Instead of saying that you hate doing laundry, it’s such a drag to do laundry; you tell yourself you like doing laundry. It’s like smiling when you’re unhappy - even if it’s fake, it’s a proven technique to making yourself feel better. I haven’t had a chance to try it yet, but I can’t wait.
Overall, it's a light read, and not especially gripping since there is no real story
I think what turned me off right at the beginning is the same thing that turned me off with "Helping Me Help Myself." It felt like she made up a reason why she decided to take on this project. There's nothing missing from her life...she's a published author, married, two kids, etc. She decides that she's not enjoying it enough because she snaps too much and gets too impatient sometimes. Okay, I get that, but that's also part of being human. She has a revelation when she sees a haggard woman wrangling kids and grocery bags on the street and thinks, "That's me!" Oh come now. Do-a-thing-for-a-year books are very in vogue right now. You came up with this concept to sell a book. End of story. At least in "Drop Dead Healthy" A.J. Jacobs had his wake up call when he got sick and ended up in the hospital. Plus, since he'd written a couple of these before, he was up front with saying, "Okay, then, that's my next book! Do all the healthy things for a year!" Don't be all, "I felt like I was a bad person because my only resolution was to learn how to do the splits on both sides, so I decided to delve into self help for a year," or "I was happy, but figured I could be happier, so I spent a year trying to be happy."
Other than that, one of the reason why these books are appealing is because the authors do a bunch of stuff and reports on it so we can pick and choose what sounds best for us if we want. Rubin does a ton of research and figures out what works best for her, following the guideline to "Be Gretchen." A lot of it is great advice, so I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to learn to be able to recognize the happy times while you're in it (and Rubin stresses that depression is a completely different thing from unhappiness, this is more for the discontent than the clinically depressed). I think that Rubin's writing style was just a bit too earnest for me. I have to "Be Jess" and know that gold stars aren't going to do it for me.
Other, less serious problems include the overwhelming amount of quotes and blog posts, which make at least half of the book a copy-paste, and its unscientific approach.
Regardless of the above, the book has a certain something that resounded with me (and many other people as shown by its sheer success), it made me think and consider happiness from an interesting angle. I can't really say I liked it, but I can't say it was a waste of time, either.
Rubin throws out a lot of quotes, statistics and ideas for increasing one's day-t-day happiness. In accordance with the theme of finding what works for me, I was inspired by some of these ideas and mostly ignored the rest. I was most impressed that Rubin found the time to implement all of these changes (although she does admit that she discarded some if they didn't continue to increase her happiness). She did a whole lot of reading, too, and even write a novel in a month, which I thought was inspiring because she did it just for her own enjoyment, not to try to sell it. I seem to be stuck with the notion that I have to spend my time doing something productive or money-making, which is an impediment to my personal happiness; Rubin backs this notion up with some solid statistics, and it's a lesson that many of us can stand to learn, that not everything we do has to generate income. That insight alone, and the resolution I made to try to do more things for personal enrichment even if they don't seem particularly "useful," made reading this book worthwhile.
I confess, I was hoping for more from Rubin.
In all seriousness, my major criticism of the book is that it's superficial. It's so 'Gretchen' centered. As it progressed it seemed to become more about Gretchen's life and less about the nature of happiness.
Perhaps happiness is like humor, better experienced than dissected.
The book is worth skimming, and adopting those activities that make sense to you. You will probably find that some examples, blog reader submittals, heck, entire chapters, are just not that interesting or relevant to you.
Take what you want. Check out her blog as well.
If you are looking for some motiviation or practical tips for increasing your day-to-day happiness, this book will steer you in that direction.
Ms.
I would recommend this book to anybody looking for somewhat small, yet dramatic changes in his or her life experience.
The book takes us through the year of this project with Gretchen, month by month. Each month she sets a goal as well as ideas and projects for her to achieve the goal. They were different each month but tended to build on the previous goal. For example, in January her goal was to Boost Energy by getting more sleep, exercising more and what I found insightful was that Gretchen found "acting" more energetic and happy actually worked. Gretchen was inspired by this quote :
"Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
She then tackles her marriage in the next month with the goal to Remember Love. She then adds other months that address work, parenthood, leisure, friendship and more. I liked how the book was organized into dedicated chapters for each month. It was nice to focus on the one goal and it made it easier to read and the book flowed well.
Gretchen is not done learning but she did find out how important this project was in getting to know herself and be herself. She was very honest in sharing her weaknesses as well as her struggles and successes along the way. I enjoyed her honesty and sense of humor and some of her conclusions were very interesting. The Happiness Project is full of ideas to inspire you and you just may learn a few new things that may challenge you to start a Happiness Project of your own.
Reading this book made me hopeful and optimistic -- I think anyone who's feeling stuck or blah or blue would benefit from reading this. Just reading it helped me live vicariously and get through the last bit of winter in Chicago. It was definitely a bright spot in my day. It made me happy!
I really enjoyed her writing style. Other authors might have sounded preachy or whiny with the same material, but Rubin does a wonderful job blending statistics and studies, her own experiences and a self-deprecating humor to create each chapter. Instead of telling her readers to "be less judgmental" or something like that, she tells them the reasons why this can fuel your own happiness and she gives specific suggestions on how to do it. I'm not big on self-help books, but this one was just my style. Based on facts and her experiences as opposed to just willing yourself to a happier life.