Status
Available
Publication
Viking Adult (2009), Edition: 1, 208 pages
Description
"Darkly hilarious...an unexpected bundle of joy." -O, The Oprah Magazine Alice Cohen was happy for the first time in years. After a difficult divorce, she had a new love in her life, she was raising a beloved adopted daughter, and her career was blossoming. Then she started experiencing mysterious symptoms. After months of tests, x-rays, and inconclusive diagnoses, Alice underwent a CAT scan that revealed the truth: she was six months pregnant. At age forty-four, with no prenatal care and no insurance coverage for a high-risk pregnancy, Alice was besieged by opinions from doctors and friends about what was ethical, what was loving, what was right. With the intimacy of a diary and the suspense of a thriller, What I Thought I Knew is a ruefully funny, wickedly candid tale; a story of hope and renewal that turns all of the "knowns" upside down.… (more)
Similar in this library
Media reviews
A gripping story about one of the most wrenching decisions a woman can face.
User reviews
LibraryThing member Sararush
Here’s what she thought she knew:
That she was in love with her soul mate.
That she had a beautiful adopted daughter.
At 44 she had finally enabled her dream life style and financial situation.
It was medically impossible for her to get pregnant.
Only to discover during a medical crisis that she was
As each new piece of worse news filters in, Cohen repeats and repeats what she knows of her situation in a mantra of literary panic. The scarily candid Cohen admits to being not sure if she is capable of loving or raising her surprise baby. She also admits those thoughts are despicable, and yet it is hard to read that a mother could have such thoughts, but it is harder not to feel for her predicament. Cohen’s emotional story of a mother grappling with guilt and shame on the eve of an inevitable change of life is unforgettable.
That she was in love with her soul mate.
That she had a beautiful adopted daughter.
At 44 she had finally enabled her dream life style and financial situation.
It was medically impossible for her to get pregnant.
Only to discover during a medical crisis that she was
Show More
indeed six months pregnant. Due to her age and pre-natal neglect, her pregnancy is high risk, and she is grossly under insured. The doctors tell her with certainty that her baby will be born with one deformity or another. And that is if she can avoid a likely a pre-mature delivery. It is far too late for a legal abortion, so Cohen has few options in the face of an increasingly frightening pregnancy. As each new piece of worse news filters in, Cohen repeats and repeats what she knows of her situation in a mantra of literary panic. The scarily candid Cohen admits to being not sure if she is capable of loving or raising her surprise baby. She also admits those thoughts are despicable, and yet it is hard to read that a mother could have such thoughts, but it is harder not to feel for her predicament. Cohen’s emotional story of a mother grappling with guilt and shame on the eve of an inevitable change of life is unforgettable.
Show Less
LibraryThing member woodsathome
I'm a sucker for this type of book - woman who thought she was infertile, knew something was growing in her, shocked the "tumor" was a baby, yada, yada, yada. Here's what kept me hooked everytime I thought I knew where the book was going another twist was around the corner. I didn't always like the
Show More
author, but I did always enjoy the tale. So much so that I read it in one sitting. Show Less
LibraryThing member bobbieharv
A very well-written memoir that I sped through: issue after issue kept coming up for her - did she have cancer or was she pregnant or was the baby deformed or was she going to have an abortion or was her husband going to leave her - all done with a sense of perspective that didn't sacrifice her
Show More
wildly gyrating emotions. Excellent read. Show Less
LibraryThing member debnance
I didn’t know much about this book before I read it, and I want others to go into it without knowing very much. This I will say: It’s a true story. It’s the story of discovering oneself pregnant very unexpectedly. It’s a ride. I would strongly urge others to read it if you like personal
Show More
narratives. It’s thoughtful and emotional. One of my most intense reads this year. Show Less
LibraryThing member joannemepham29
I loved this memoir, and though it was a tough topic I laughed a few times throughout. I enjoyed Mrs. Cohen's style of telling her story, through her lists of what she thought she knew, and I thought the ending was lovely.
LibraryThing member molloaggie
The author took me for a rollercoaster of a ride through one of the toughest journeys of her life. It took me a while to adjust to her first person writing style but I couldn't put the book down for a moment. It was great to read a motherhood story with a strong father in the picture. She throws in
Show More
a lot of sexuality from students, strangers who merely pass through her life, that I found quite distracting and out of touch with the rest of the story. Show Less
LibraryThing member Eeekievonkane
Wow - the memoir format of lists and narrative was so compelling. Story was riviting. Middle age complexity. Amazingly told.
LibraryThing member bookwormygirl
When I first agreed to review this book I thought this would be a serious memoir about one woman's struggles with a pregancy and new baby in her mid-40's. And although it is that, it is also so much more.
Alice Eve Cohen's memoir is nothing short of inspirational. With a very brutally honest voice
Just when Alice Eve Cohen is happiest in life - she is with the man of her dreams, has a wonderful stepdaughter who she loves as her own and is financially stable - she finds out she's 6 months pregnant (at 44). Because of her age and her pre-natal neglect, her pregnancy is considered to be high risk Oh, and did I mention the problems with health insurance... yes, there's also that. Her doctor's tell her that her baby will most likely have some type of deformity and/or problem and that is if she's even able to carry it to full-term. She is also too far advanced in her pregnancy for a legal abortion. What is a woman to do?
I must commend Ms. Cohen for telling her story in such a light and witty voice - which more than once brought a smile to my face. She realistically captures the terror, the indecision, the agony, the worry, and the joy too. You don't have to be a mother or a wife or even female to appreciate this book. Highly recommended.
Alice Eve Cohen's memoir is nothing short of inspirational. With a very brutally honest voice
Show More
she tells you her story. And what a story it is! I literally read her book in one sitting. Just when Alice Eve Cohen is happiest in life - she is with the man of her dreams, has a wonderful stepdaughter who she loves as her own and is financially stable - she finds out she's 6 months pregnant (at 44). Because of her age and her pre-natal neglect, her pregnancy is considered to be high risk Oh, and did I mention the problems with health insurance... yes, there's also that. Her doctor's tell her that her baby will most likely have some type of deformity and/or problem and that is if she's even able to carry it to full-term. She is also too far advanced in her pregnancy for a legal abortion. What is a woman to do?
I must commend Ms. Cohen for telling her story in such a light and witty voice - which more than once brought a smile to my face. She realistically captures the terror, the indecision, the agony, the worry, and the joy too. You don't have to be a mother or a wife or even female to appreciate this book. Highly recommended.
Show Less
LibraryThing member whitreidtan
When I decided to have children, I didn't do much soul searching, much questioning of whether I would be a good mother, what sorts of genetic or environmental issues I would be passing along to those as yet unborn. Of course, both my husband and I were young, educated, and healthy so we were a good
Cohen was told that due to a misshapen uterus she was infertile so she and her first husband adopted a lovely daughter. Years later at age 44, she is happy as the mother to her daughter; she feels fulfilled in her job teaching acting and performing her own plays; and she is thriving in her relationship with her fiance. But then niggling health concerns start popping up and doctors have no answers for her. It could be her age. It could be the hormones she's taking. Whatever it is, the answer isn't yielding to any of the tests she undergoes, until finally, a bombshell. She's pregnant. 6 months pregnant.
As Cohen cycles through disbelief to acceptance, she chronicles the emotional roller coaster as well. What choices does she have with this late term news? How does her lack of pre-natal care affect her decision about the outcome of her pregnancy? What kind of weight does fiance Michael's feelings on this unexpected pregnancy have? How can she possibly wrap her head around the place she finds herself? Fiercely honest about her reactions and her decisions, Cohen does not whitewash anything in order to show herself in a better light. This pregnancy is no wished for miracle. It is a catastrophe that could beget more catastophe. Her decision to pursue a late term abortion or to carry the baby to term will have an irreversible and permanent impact on her life no matter which choice she makes.
Alongside her own complicated emotional state, Cohen also details the medical malpractice that left her in the dark for 6 months, submitting to tests and drugs that are harmful to fetuses. She examines the mistakes made and the probable outcome of those mistakes. She faces the plight of the self-insured, needing expensive, uncovered, out of network medical care and is turned down by doctor after doctor. She and her unborn baby are a walking liability to any and all doctors. As she navigates through the medical morass that the pregnancy becomes, she continually writes lists of what she knows to date. The repetitious nature of these lists, with additions and corrections as needed, throughout the memoir give them a sort of talismanic feeling. They serve to anchor Cohen to the facts as she thought she knew them. Pregnancy worry beads, if you will.
The writing here is gorgeous. There are times that Cohen seems emotionally inaccesible to the reader but she was so frozen herself that this reserve serves to reinforce the truth of her own feelings. Her internal debate is honest, agonizing, and unsparing and it's a privilege to be invited into something so personal and emotional. Her background as an actor is clear here, with each chapter its own contained act and scene. I highly recommend this deeply moving, intelligent, and thoughtful memoir.
Show More
risk for reproduction. The fact that I fell pregnant easily just seemed to reinforce our somewhat unthinking decision to form a larger family. But what if I had not been young? Or what if I couldn't get pregnant? What if, finally being pregnant, I was 44 and had been told I was infertile, I didn't discover my condition until I was 6 months pregnant, and my fiance and I were uninsured artists living without so that we could do that which fed our souls? That in essence is the situation in which Alice Eve Cohen found herself. This book is the searingly honest, revealing memoir of a 3 month pregnancy, the medical incompetence, the emotional struggle, the questioning, and the grace that characterized her pregnancy. Cohen was told that due to a misshapen uterus she was infertile so she and her first husband adopted a lovely daughter. Years later at age 44, she is happy as the mother to her daughter; she feels fulfilled in her job teaching acting and performing her own plays; and she is thriving in her relationship with her fiance. But then niggling health concerns start popping up and doctors have no answers for her. It could be her age. It could be the hormones she's taking. Whatever it is, the answer isn't yielding to any of the tests she undergoes, until finally, a bombshell. She's pregnant. 6 months pregnant.
As Cohen cycles through disbelief to acceptance, she chronicles the emotional roller coaster as well. What choices does she have with this late term news? How does her lack of pre-natal care affect her decision about the outcome of her pregnancy? What kind of weight does fiance Michael's feelings on this unexpected pregnancy have? How can she possibly wrap her head around the place she finds herself? Fiercely honest about her reactions and her decisions, Cohen does not whitewash anything in order to show herself in a better light. This pregnancy is no wished for miracle. It is a catastrophe that could beget more catastophe. Her decision to pursue a late term abortion or to carry the baby to term will have an irreversible and permanent impact on her life no matter which choice she makes.
Alongside her own complicated emotional state, Cohen also details the medical malpractice that left her in the dark for 6 months, submitting to tests and drugs that are harmful to fetuses. She examines the mistakes made and the probable outcome of those mistakes. She faces the plight of the self-insured, needing expensive, uncovered, out of network medical care and is turned down by doctor after doctor. She and her unborn baby are a walking liability to any and all doctors. As she navigates through the medical morass that the pregnancy becomes, she continually writes lists of what she knows to date. The repetitious nature of these lists, with additions and corrections as needed, throughout the memoir give them a sort of talismanic feeling. They serve to anchor Cohen to the facts as she thought she knew them. Pregnancy worry beads, if you will.
The writing here is gorgeous. There are times that Cohen seems emotionally inaccesible to the reader but she was so frozen herself that this reserve serves to reinforce the truth of her own feelings. Her internal debate is honest, agonizing, and unsparing and it's a privilege to be invited into something so personal and emotional. Her background as an actor is clear here, with each chapter its own contained act and scene. I highly recommend this deeply moving, intelligent, and thoughtful memoir.
Show Less
LibraryThing member Allie64
Synopsis (from back cover):
Alice Cohen was happy for the first time in years. After a difficult divorce, she had a new love in her life, she was raising a beloved adopted daughter, and her career was blossoming. Then, she started experiencing mysterious symptoms. After months of tests, X-rays, and
At age 44, with no prenatal care and no insurance coverage for a high-risk pregnancy, Alice was besieged by opinions from doctors and friends about what was ethical, what was loving, what as right. With the intimacy of a diary and the suspense of a thriller, What I Thought I Knew is a ruefully funny, wickedly candid take; a story of of hope and renewal that turns all of the 'knowns" upside down.
Review:
This was an engrossing book of a women's life that will bring you to tears of laughter, joy and sadness. The author, Alice Cohen, writes her memoir in a theatrical and almost over the top manner that grabs you from the beginning and keeps a hold of you through her ride of experiences with the healthcare system. Yes, it's a story about how she finds out she is pregnant and not sure if she wants to keep it, but there are so many more other things going on in her life that you are sure to find something you can relate too. Adoption, abortions, age differences, disability, career choices, divorce; these are just a few of the life experience we all may go through. It really tugged at my heart the few times I thought that Michael was going to leave Alice because of her decision, but it was her tough love that helped her get through some of the toughest moments and decisions.
Alice Cohen was happy for the first time in years. After a difficult divorce, she had a new love in her life, she was raising a beloved adopted daughter, and her career was blossoming. Then, she started experiencing mysterious symptoms. After months of tests, X-rays, and
Show More
inconclusive diagnoses, Alice was sent for an emergency CAT scan that revealed the truth: she was six months pregnant.At age 44, with no prenatal care and no insurance coverage for a high-risk pregnancy, Alice was besieged by opinions from doctors and friends about what was ethical, what was loving, what as right. With the intimacy of a diary and the suspense of a thriller, What I Thought I Knew is a ruefully funny, wickedly candid take; a story of of hope and renewal that turns all of the 'knowns" upside down.
Review:
This was an engrossing book of a women's life that will bring you to tears of laughter, joy and sadness. The author, Alice Cohen, writes her memoir in a theatrical and almost over the top manner that grabs you from the beginning and keeps a hold of you through her ride of experiences with the healthcare system. Yes, it's a story about how she finds out she is pregnant and not sure if she wants to keep it, but there are so many more other things going on in her life that you are sure to find something you can relate too. Adoption, abortions, age differences, disability, career choices, divorce; these are just a few of the life experience we all may go through. It really tugged at my heart the few times I thought that Michael was going to leave Alice because of her decision, but it was her tough love that helped her get through some of the toughest moments and decisions.
Show Less
LibraryThing member RosanneE
A very moving, well written book!
LibraryThing member VickiLN
I started reading this book not sure if I’d like it or not. I didn’t know if the author wrote it in a way I would enjoy, because of the sensitive subject. And for the first few pages I still wasn’t sure. But before long, I was hooked. I didn’t want to put it down and read it in two
The writing is terrific, as is the story. And it’s a true story. One that I can’t imagine going through. It is at times happy, and others very deeply sad. It’s full of confusion, worries and very hard decisions. And a lot of happiness and love. The author is very funny at times too.
Alice Eve Cohen holds nothing back in this book. She shares her thoughts and feelings through this time with an openness that surprised and touched me. I felt like I was listening to a friend talk.
I’ve seen a few negative reviews, saying that the author was self centered and only thinking about herself. I didn’t get that from the book at all. She was devastated that she didn’t know she was pregnant for the first 6 months and so she had been drinking etc. Because of that, her baby was subjected to things that weren’t at all good for him/her, and didn’t get the care needed, like vitamins. She also was told the baby would more than likely have a few devastating health disabilities, due to her age and her own medical conditions. That was the reason she had the thoughts she did. But, she still did whatever the doctors told her to do for the safety of her unborn child.
This book was so good. Really really good. The best memoir I’ve ever read.
If you haven’t read this book, go get a copy. It’s a quick read that is packed with a very emotional story.
Show More
sittings. I would have read it in one if I hadn’t had to stop and do things that had to be done.The writing is terrific, as is the story. And it’s a true story. One that I can’t imagine going through. It is at times happy, and others very deeply sad. It’s full of confusion, worries and very hard decisions. And a lot of happiness and love. The author is very funny at times too.
Alice Eve Cohen holds nothing back in this book. She shares her thoughts and feelings through this time with an openness that surprised and touched me. I felt like I was listening to a friend talk.
I’ve seen a few negative reviews, saying that the author was self centered and only thinking about herself. I didn’t get that from the book at all. She was devastated that she didn’t know she was pregnant for the first 6 months and so she had been drinking etc. Because of that, her baby was subjected to things that weren’t at all good for him/her, and didn’t get the care needed, like vitamins. She also was told the baby would more than likely have a few devastating health disabilities, due to her age and her own medical conditions. That was the reason she had the thoughts she did. But, she still did whatever the doctors told her to do for the safety of her unborn child.
This book was so good. Really really good. The best memoir I’ve ever read.
If you haven’t read this book, go get a copy. It’s a quick read that is packed with a very emotional story.
Show Less
Language
Original language
English
Physical description
208 p.; 5.78 inches
ISBN
0670020958 / 9780670020959