Dear Mr. You

by Mary -Louise Parker

Paperback, 2016

Status

Available

Publication

Scribner (2016), Edition: Reprint, 240 pages

Description

"A wonderfully unconventional literary debut from the award-winning actress Mary-Louise Parker. An extraordinary literary work, Dear Mr. You renders the singular arc of a woman's life through letters Mary-Louise Parker composes to the men, real and hypothetical, who have informed the person she is today. Beginning with the grandfather she never knew, the letters range from a missive to the beloved priest from her childhood to remembrances of former lovers to an homage to a firefighter she encountered to a heartfelt communication with the uncle of the infant daughter she adopted. Readers will be amazed by the depth and style of these letters, which reveal the complexity and power to be found in relationships both loving and fraught"--

Rating

½ (89 ratings; 3.5)

User reviews

LibraryThing member PrimosParadise
Can I give 4 1/2 stars? Look, my crush on Ms. Parker has been decades long and as far as I know, unrequited (although she could just be a really good stalker, just waiting and waiting for the right moment...). So my review on this book does not come without some ingrained bias...but really I would
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say that other than a couple of the letters, this book is a winner; you can almost smell and taste her writing these letters on a cold frosty morning; on the beach; on a dark rainy day...her language is electric and insightful; you can feel the anger, the love and the loss as well as all of the wonder. A real treat no matter what the calorie count.
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LibraryThing member thewanderingjew
Dear Mr. You, Mary-Louise Parker, author; read by author
The book is written and read well by the author, a well known, award winning actress, but I am not sure what purpose she wished to accomplish by writing it, except perhaps to clear up her own conscience as she reviewed her life and perhaps to
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right some wrongs she committed along her path to stardom. I did not find the memoir compelling, and I am not sure that there were enough reviews yet written to justify the glorious praise being given to it. It consists of a short series of letters written to people involved in her life, people with whom she interacted, with whom she had relationships, people whom she abused, people whom she loved dearly, people who influenced her, and pets that she adored. Also, keep it in mind that she is still a young woman, hopefully with many more years to live. Born in 1964, she is only just entering her 50’s, so the memoir is by that very nature, brief.
In the letters she wrote to these people, even one to the unknown man who might become the husband of her now middle school aged daughter, she offers her advice and apologies, and in some cases, condemnations as she explains her past. She writes about her children, her parents, her siblings, friends, teachers, lovers, animals, taxi drivers, designers, fellow actors, and others, but especially praises the oyster harvester who managed, against all odds, to bring her father his last meal before he succumbed to a grave illness. She invites us to be voyeurs, looking into the window of her life as she explores it.
The author loved her father deeply, and the final pages of the book were the most moving expression of her emotion and the most poignant for me. Prior to that I simply felt she was reviewing and critiquing her sexual exploits and partners and was attempting to prove that she had mastered the use of crude, descriptive language. I found some of the letters to be more interesting and revealing than others, like those describing her childbirth experience, her near death experience, and those involving her father. Others were confusing, without a timeline or purposeful direction.
The author’s parents were married for more than 6 decades; Mary-Louise Parker never married. She is the mother of two children. One, a young boy born in 2004, and the other, a child she adopted in 2007, from Ethiopia.
The memoir seemed to be helping her to work through the events, tragedies and joys of her life, but it is a picture of someone who spent a lot of time being unhappy and angry, defying the rules and generally often behaving irresponsibly, until she finally “came of age”. Although her father was excessively ethical, she seemed to be exactly the opposite, possibly in rebellion. His overzealous adherence to rules created chaos in his life since he could not bend rules under any circumstance; she, on the other hand, took pleasure in doing just that.
I did not bond with this book. Often I zoned out and forgot what I was listening to because the author made no connection with me. Growing up, while the author seemed sometimes reckless, my coming of age was the polar opposite; I did not have the luxury of being irresponsible, and so I followed the letter of the law. Still, the memoir is written with a light sense of humor and subtle wit as she describes her reactions to certain events in her life and her feelings about certain people, so if it is your cup of tea to read a book that will not tax your brain, and if you like to read about the rich and famous, have at it!
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LibraryThing member porch_reader
This memoir is written in letters to men who have played varying roles in her life - from the grandfather she never knew to a beloved priest, from boyfriends who turned out to be mistakes to an adult male friend who served as a lifeline. The letters are filled with sharp observations and together
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they show the arc of a life. Readers learn little about the observable events of Parker's life. Instead, this memoir is rich with emotions, showing us her inner life. One of my favorite letters is the last in the collection, Dear Oyster Picker. Although written to an anonymous oyster picker who supplied her father's last requested meal, this letter is about saying goodbye to someone by reflecting honestly on the complexities of a relationship.
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LibraryThing member nancyewhite
I've always appreciated Mary Louise Parker's acting ability. Right now, I'm thinking of her performance in the HBO version of 'Angels in America' with admiration. Obviously, however, her gifts there in no way impact her ability as a writer. In fact, I was almost influenced in the opposite
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direction. I didn't want her writing to change the way I thought of her as an actor.

Then the book kept turning up on 2015 Best of lists so I changed my mind and read it. And enjoyed it. It is composed of letters to men she's encountered through her life. Some of them are close - her father, her mentor and some more distant - a taxi driver, an oyster fisherman.

Through these letters she writes a kind of memoir. She shines as a person of compassion and insight. I found a lot of what she had to say universal and thought provoking. She is a bit odd, but that added to the experience for me.
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LibraryThing member eachurch
A remarkable collection of 'letters' to various men in Parker's life. They are thoughtful, and compassionate odes to life. Many of them are beautiful and poetic. All of them contain some insight into what makes life worth living. She is honest about both her failings and her moments of grace.
LibraryThing member agnesmack
Mary-Louise Parker came to Iowa City to promote this book and I didn't even consider going to see her. I assumed this was a "celebrity book" and though I've enjoyed some "celebrity books" (most recently Mindy Kaling's Why Not Me) I didn't have particularly high expectations for Dear Mr. You. I was
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not prepared by how deeply, deeply affecting it would be.

It is series of letters written to various men in her life (and one woman) both real and imagined. Some are funny. Some are heartbreaking. All are, as I said, deeply affecting. As soon as I finished it I sent a letter to a good friend and asked her, "Would you please do me a huge personal favor? Would you read this book?" I'd never recommended a book to her before but there is a certain audience for this book, people who like slow, thoughtful, pristine prose. People who can appreciate vulnerability and sincerity.

I could have easily devoured this book in a single setting but I'm glad I didn't. I read a letter or two every day and I believe that's how this book was meant to be read. Most letters gave me pause and left me thinking all day about the people in them and the people in my own life.

In short: This is the real deal. Y'all should read it.
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LibraryThing member nevans1972
I'm so glad I was able to listen to the book on audio because it gave it more life than reading from a book. The book is sort of like a collection of very short stories. I would recommend listening on audio first. This book is not for everyone so if you like essay style writing than this book is
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for you.
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LibraryThing member St.CroixSue
Parker’s book is a series of beautiful letters written to men in her life, from childhood through the present. Each letter is a glimpse into the complexity of life and memory suffused with gratitude.
LibraryThing member dandelionroots
Letters/memories/personality-molding interactions dedicated to various men who've crossed her path. Bet the lady version would be just as engaging and affecting.

"It's been a cycle of having your arms tied only to liberate yourself again. This grew you an enormous wingspan to rise above the
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bitterness anyone would expect you to have. When your hands are tied now, it's not a surprise or an obstacle. Who needs more than a brain, and decency, you think. Wings."

---

"You are impossibly tall. Your tall intoxicates me. Your tall is nearly ridiculous. When I come back down from going on half-toe to kiss you, I yawn from the altitude adjustment. When you walk down a hall your head grazes the ceiling and you do a sweeping thing that isn't fey. It's as though you left your cape and crown at home to be kind. You left your scepter in a cab because you are absentminded yes, but really deep down you don't like to make others feel lesser.

Others are lesser.

You wave your hand through the air to dismiss something that displeases you and it's tantamount to another man firing a machine gun.

You do not need a machine gun."
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LibraryThing member Trudial
Maybe the second half of the letters were better than the first but I gave up half way through...something I rarely do. I just could not connect with any of what I read nor did I enjoy the fragmented form.
LibraryThing member hemlokgang
An absolutely delightful read! In this autobiography, the delightfully intelligent and quirky traits which make Ms. Parker so enchanting on screen come shining through. In a series of letters to men in her life the author manages to convey the intensely wonderful and intensely distasteful roles
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that men play. I laughed, I cringed, and I cried.
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LibraryThing member LDVoorberg
I put this book on my short stories shelf, because that's the only way I can make sense of it -- to see each letter as a short story. Parker seems to be writing actual letters to people -- the kind where you don't have to fill in details because the reader already knows them. Sometimes this worked
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and felt like a cool, innovative short story, and other times I was completely lost and/or disinterested. If this story angle was fulfilled a bit more, it could have really worked.
I've liked her as an actress since Fried Green Tomatoes, and always thought she has a witty, dry sense of humour. That must be my imagination based on her The West Wing character, because that humour is completely absent from the book. Give it a pass unless you, as a fan, REALLY love her work and need to consume it all.
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LibraryThing member asxz
Chose this as my first Book of the Month Club pick. Parker can write, though there is plenty here that is inessential. But when she finds a rich vein to mine, she delivers something worthwhile and glorious. The letter to her adopted daughter's uncle is wonderful and the final long letter where she
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details her father's passing was tremendous.
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LibraryThing member fionaanne
Dear Mary Louise Parker:
I'm sorry for thinking, when I picked up your book, that it would be rubbish, that you had nothing to say, no ability to entertain, that your celebrity was sufficient to get you published, that an epistolary autobiography was a bad idea. I was wrong in all of these things. I
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won't pretend I got all of it but I certainly enjoyed the ride; you even made me cry.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher so thank you to Simon & Schuster.
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Awards

Audie Award (Finalist — 2017)

Language

Original language

English

Original publication date

2015

Physical description

8.13 inches

ISBN

1501107844 / 9781501107849
Page: 1.7341 seconds