"Tara Westover was seventeen the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her "head-for-the-hills bag." In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged in her father's junkyard. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education, and no one to intervene when one of Tara's older brothers became violent. As a way out, Tara began to educate herself, learning enough mathematics and grammar to be admitted to Brigham Young University. Her quest for knowledge would transform her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she'd traveled too far, if there was still a way home. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Tara Westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education offers: the perspective to see one's life through new eyes, and the will to change it."--Provided by publisher.
This is a memoir of an extraordinary childhood and about living through the aftermath. Westover is nonjudgmental when discussing her family and it's clear that she still holds them in great affection. Nonetheless, the story is harrowing. It's like a first hand account of a pioneer family, with the same extreme dangers exacerbated by her father's possible mental illness and the risky nature of the family business.
Once Westover manages to escape to university, the story doesn't lose momentum. She's intelligent and resourceful, but ill-prepared and made uncertain by the foreignness of her new environment. All in all, this was a memoir that read like a novel.
As a memoir, I think Educated is pretty excellent (if a little battened down--I don't really feel like I have any sense of who Tara really is), but it's also the story of one family whose situation is so particular that I don't think the book really tells us anything about anyone but them. And that's fine--it is a memoir, after all, not a sociological study--and I imagine that many readers will find the exploration of this particular family dynamic helpful in understanding certain kinds of abuse. Ultimately I wanted more about the process of going to school (college) for the first time and what it was like to participate in organized learning and what she found out about the world once she left her isolationist upbringing. She mentions learning of the Holocaust for the first time; she outlines some of the things about schooling she didn't know when she first got to college. I was hoping for more of that kind of thing. The book was a memoir of a family; I wanted a memoir of all the nitty-gritty details of an education. Perhaps that desire on my part is also why I found the exclusion of certain details so annoying (for instance, some of her confusion about college surely would have been addressed at orientation, but she never mentions college orientation at all, not as a thing that didn't help, not as a thing that might have helped but that she somehow didn't know to attend, nothing). The little missing pieces of the story started to annoy me more and more as the memoir went on.
I don't particularly recommend this one on audio but I'm not steering you away from it either. I didn't love Whelan's voices for the men's dialogue, but other than that, the audiobook was entirely serviceable.
Trigger warnings for Educated: emotional abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, gaslighting, neglect of minors, medical trauma, untreated mental illness, the "n-word," violent misogyny, violent death of a dog (brief but brutal)
I couldn't help but project many of the ideas of Tara's father onto the most radical Trump supporters, people who believe things not because they have the facts to back them up but because they want to believe them. The Jews are responsible for World War II and created the Holocaust to excuse themselves and make the Nazis look bad. Education is controlled by the government and full of propaganda, and educators are agents of the government (if not the devil). Well, I don't have to say more, you hear the crap that comes out of Trump's mouth every day. I spent a lot of my time reading this book with my gut twisting, just as it does when I have to listen to Trump or his ignorant followers. Which means that it was both frustrating and horrifying. I'm glad Tara got out, but I wish that she had confided in someone who could help much sooner. As Philip Larkin said:
“They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.”
I'm not questioning whether the events that Westover writes about occurred or not - I expect that they did, and that there were many traumatic instances in her childhood and adolescence - but when I compare it to other Misery Lit titles this book feels very self-pitiful, and in some areas I suspected that Tara's viewpoint only uncovered part of the story, which supported how she wanted to position the overall narrative of her life.
For instance, on education she wanted the reader to believe that she had had next to nothing in the way of education before she sat her college exam. It seemed incredible that she could reach such stellar heights against such insurmountable odds, but then we read that 6 out of the 7 children went on to some level of higher education. When I read further around the subject, I discovered that both her mum and dad attended at least a year of university classes each, which Westover failed to mention anywhere in this book. Also, one brother (who I recollect she was close to in the book) has since questioned the accuracy and one-sidedness of a number of her recollections. He admits that their parents were extremists and that things happened to hurt Tara, but he points out that he has a different interpretation of some things that happened within the family. Tara would like us to believe that this is because her family are all indoctrinated by the family's very strict faith and controlling nature of her bi-polar father - yes, that's entirely possible, but equally her can-do-no-wrong self-positioning in this book made me begin to lose my trust in her as a narrator of her story at times, and to wonder what the full story was.
Westover also positions her mother's hugely successful business as a random happenstance that happened to some poor, uneducated hillbillies on the back of treating her father's injuries. That felt very glossed over, and again by sowing that doubt in my mind I further questioned how fully accurate the rest of the memoir was.
In all, I'm very conflicted by this book. I don't feel that we ever got to meet the real Tara - we meet the version of Tara and her story that Westover wanted to portray, and it didn't feel wholly authentic to me. Clearly I'm in the minority on this as I know the world and his wife loved this; I did really enjoy reading it, but I'm not sure I overly liked Tara in the end, which is very surprising as I usually root straight away for the underdog in this type of book. Her story was fascinating, but I think I would have sympathised with her difficult family upbringing much more if she'd let a bit more of the true Tara through.
3.5 stars - a really good read, but I was left with too many niggling questions.
The author was raised in Idaho near a beautiful mountain called Bucks Peak. There was no record of her birth, and she never attended school. This is her inspiring story. Her parents were Fundamental Mormons who brought her up to be self-sufficient and modest in dress and behavior. Her mother, Faye, was a talented herbalist and an unlicensed midwife. Her father, Gene, was a survivalist who ran a junk yard, dealt in scrap metal and took odd construction jobs, locally. He was the master of his home and believed that a woman’s place was as a homemaker and mother. All of the children became part of his crew at one point or another in their lives, when necessary. Many sustained life-threatening injuries because of a lack of judgment and/or common sense. Their father believed that G-d would guide him and them. They all fell under the spell of their father, to a greater or lesser degree. Gene believed he communicated directly with his G-d and always had the one right way, even when tragedy occurred because of his foolish decisions. He believed whatever happened was G-d’s will, and G-d would always provide and care for them. Angels would guide them, and they would not be given more to deal with than they could handle. He was sure the end of days was coming, and he prepared for it, hoarding food and burying fuel underground.
Neither of Tara’s parents seemed quite stable. They were afraid of hospitals which might poison them; they were afraid of schools which might brainwash them. They were fanatic in their beliefs, and Tara’s formative years were sheltered from the outside world. She was often subjected to abuse by one of her brothers which went unnoticed or ignored by both of her parents. Her father believed females needed to be taught how to behave properly. If she accused her brother of hurting her, he demanded proof. Often, she had no one to protect her.
When, for some odd reason, she was allowed to apply to college, never having been to public school, Tara spent hours studying for the ACT. Her home schooling had been sparse at best, but her brother encouraged her because it was the path he had followed. On her second attempt she did well enough to enter Brigham Young University. She was out of place, unworldly and dressed differently than the other student, having no prior knowledge of anything worldly beside the religious books she had read and the medicines she had made with her mom. She was adept at construction with her brothers and fathers but had no idea about something so simple as basic hygiene.
Growing up, Tara did no know what she was missing, but as she entered the world, the opportunities and education she was exposed to caused tremendous conflict within her. She began to see the difference between her world and everyone one else’s world. She began to question her lifestyle.
As Tara describes her life, set firmly in the current events of the times, it is hard to believe that she and her family could survive so many mishaps intact, without the benefit of medical care or education. It is hard to believe that life was able to fulfill her dreams. She has written her memoir clearly and succinctly as she tells the story of a young girl who was both sheltered and abused. The miracle of that young girl’s success and her ability to break out of the mold she was in and grow to the person she is now, is the highlight of the book. The book is stirring as it illustrates the miraculous possibilities one can hope for and achieve against all the odds placed in the way. Without the inner strength and insight Tara possessed, it would have been impossible.
Then the author, interested in historiography in her studies -- how the perspective of the one writing the history shapes the history -- undercuts the credibility of her own history in numerous ways: using pseudonyms for her family members while using her own real name (What's the point of that? Did her education not include Google?), giving repeated credence to her brother and father's gaslighting, showing repeated willingness to change her perception of reality for acceptance, questioning the validity of memory itself, and, finally, putting asterisks next to "quoted" emails that she admits to just making up with the excuse that "The meaning has been preserved." The muddle she creates dulls my admiration for her achievement in surviving and escaping her family.
I may have set my expectations too high, hoping this would be another The Glass Castle.
Educated, which as I write this is near the top of the New York Times bestseller list, is a powerful tale of religious fanaticism, domestic violence, and untreated mental illness. It is a wonder that the author and her siblings survived their hardscrabble childhoods in rural Idaho, as their zealous Mormon parents did not believe in modern medicine and instead relied on homeopathic remedies and homemade herbal treatments. Moreover, Westover's domineering father thought nothing of putting his children in harm's way, and the book contains several examples of serious accidents that did not have to happen. The children's education was sorely neglected, to the extent that when Westover finally got into college despite paternal objections and through the force of her own will, she found that she lacked even basic common knowledge of Napoleon, the Civil Rights Movement, and the Holocaust. Westover's dedication to her education came at a steep price; although she has earned PhD from Cambridge, she is now estranged from the family she left behind.
I found this book painful to read. The lives it depicts are grim and almost cheerless. Nonetheless, I recommend this book to readers of The Glass Castle and The Sound of Gravel.
Wow... picked up and finished in a day and a half. I took in Tara's story as one of survival and personal strength. Secluded away from much of every day world due to her having a fundamentalist Mormon father who believed the government was out to get them, she lived a life full of brainwashing and lacking any education, although she was home schooled for a short time, she did not obtain high school level education. Stories of abuse and uncertainty fill the pages, making you long for her to find her wings.
Those wings are finally found when her older brother encourages becoming "Educated" and leaving the world she knows behind. Not without hurdles Tara struggles between the worlds, even later longing for a part of the world again.
An insanely addictive read.
This much-lauded, best-selling book didn't quite live up to the hype for me. Maybe it's simply because too many people gushed over it, or maybe it's because it was the third book in a row I read about domineering, patriarchal, fundamentally religious homes, or maybe it's simply because the audiobook narrator wasn't that great (not exactly monotone, but definitely a pretty flat affect throughout, plus her Utah man's voice sounded like she was trying to do a Jodie Forster impression, which was distracting). Also, I began this book right around the same day that conspiracy-theorizing insurrectionists attacked the U.S. Capitol, so I wasn't really feeling the sympathy for Tara's father, even though she seems to be certain that mental illness is the explanation behind his fear of "the feds," which goes as far as refusing to insure his car, refusing to get legal birth certificates for his children, refusing to bring his child to the hospital when bleeding from the head after a car accident, and so on and so on.
The beginning of the book felt a little all over the place for me. I definitely couldn't keep track of all the siblings, and it felt like the author was jumping around quite a bit from time to time or thought to thought. I think to me, the more interesting part of the story was not how awful her family was and how they pretended, excused, and/or justified abuse away, although this part does take a lot of the book. What grabbed me more was her stories of how she got away, and how difficult 'de-programming' was for her. She seemed to take a 'one step forward, two steps back' progress at times. The things that she didn't know as a college student were sometimes astounding, although it made some kind of sense given her upbringing, including things like: how to take an exam (scantron or long-form), what the Holocaust was, proper hygiene like hand-washing after using the restroom, and how to read a textbook.
While in the end, I found this book interesting enough, for me it suffered from high expectations due to all the buzz around it.
It was a really fascinating memoir of reinvention, not just moving from outsider to mainstream or unschooled to academically adept, but how she forcibly reoriented her own internal world map. The first part of the book was more of a dysfunctional-family page-turner than I expected from reading reviews, a barrage of violence and mental illness and a jaw-dropping amount of physical injury—it boggles the mind how any of these people were still walking upright by the book's end—but it all served a purpose, and painted a good solid picture of the emotional and psychological boundaries she had to work so hard to redraw. Westover tells her story well, and of course it's all the more dramatic for not being a novel. But she manages to pull no punches and at the same time not edge over into pathos. As someone who's recreated myself in very comparatively small ways, but still thinks about all the tiny choices that went into something so momentous (to me), I found her story really affecting. I wonder if she'll write more popular work or settle into the academic life that seems to suit her so well.
It kept me reading - you can't help but root for her. But it got so repetitive. How many times can we mentally scream, "NO, TARA, NO!" No, do NOT go get another ice cream with the guy who broke your toe and habitually shoves your head in the toilet! This will not end well! How many times can we think, "OK, now she's starting to get it, finally!" and then read "So I went home for Christmas." You WHAT?! "STOP GOING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS, TARA!!"
Best takeway came on the penultimate page: "Guilt is never about THEM. Guilt is the fear of one's own wretchedness."
Reminiscent of The Glass Castle, another favorite of mine, Educated is the memoir of Tara Westover, who grew up the youngest of seven siblings in a fundamentalist Mormon family in rural Idaho. Living somewhat off the grid, her father was convinced the government was evil and out to get them, and that the end of days was soon approaching. He was a gruff man who didn't believe in public education, so the kids didn't go to school, although they weren't really home schooled either. Modern medicine and doctors were also evil, so any injury or illness was treated homeopathically by their mother. While most of the Westover siblings were content to live life in a way similar to how they were taught, Tara rebelled a bit and was able to break free, eventually attending college and post-graduate education.
This book was a lot like a train wreck: difficult to read at times, but very engaging, pulling me in, wanting to know more. More than anything, I often felt anger while reading, and amazement that people can live this way and hold such beliefs in this day and age. Crazy families make for great storytelling, but when it's borderline (or not so borderline) abuse, it puts a different spin on things. A great book for discussion. I wouldn't be surprised to see this one on the big screen someday.
Tara Westover was born and raised in the mountains of Idaho. It sounds like it was a beautiful area and she did appreciate her surroundings. Her parents were Mormon and her father, in particular, was a hard-core survivalist. Some of the older children in the family of seven did attend public school but by the time Tara would have started school her father had pulled the children from the schools. The children were supposed to be homeschooled but that quickly went by the wayside. Tara's father owned a scrapyard and operated a construction business and he needed the children to help in these businesses. When Tara wasn't dodging pieces of scrap being hurled at a pile by a father who didn't look if there was anyone in the way she was helping her mother in her herbal medicine business or she was working in town to earn some money for herself. Almost everyone in the family was severely injured at some point but doctors and hospitals were never part of the treatment. After an older brother managed to leave the farm and attend university in Salt Lake City Tara saw an alternative for her life that didn't involve getting married at a young age and raising a brood of children. Tara's mother was somewhat supportive of Tara's plan to go away to university but her father was rigidly opposed. Tara and all the rest of the family were so used to obeying the father that Tara wavered until the last about whether to go or to stay. Her father had a volatile temper; after Tara learned about bipolar disorder in university she was convinced that her father suffered from that. In addition to her father's mental health problems Tara's older brother Tyler was also mentally ill. Tara had to put a lock on the inside of her bedroom door to keep Tyler out because he would come in while she was sleeping and try to strangle her or drag her to the bathroom and dunk her head in the toilet. This behaviour must have been witnessed by the parents but they never intervened. Years later, when Tara tried to get them to admit that Tyler had a problem, they virtually disowned her. Given this upbringing it is astonishing that Tara managed to get to university and ultimately get a Ph. D. and learn how to get along in the outside world.
I am sure there are scads of lovely Mormons; I even knew some. And maybe there are extremists in every religion and faith but Mormons who are extreme certainly crop up frequently in literature and non-fiction. A few years ago I read Keep Sweet which is the memoir of a woman who was raised in a polygamous community in Canada. That account and this one are of relatively recent events, not something from the beginnings of the Mormon religion, and they paint a very disturbing picture. Both authors got away from their communities but what about all the ones who didn't?
Though members of her family have disputed her account of some events, I believe her. I believe her because I resonate with her. I understand what it is to convince yourself it's all normal. I understand what it's like to participate not just willingly but desperately in your own gaslighting. I know what it's like to lose your whole family because it's easier for them to believe the abuser. So yeah, I absolutely believe her. She's much too familiar with those feelings in a way that a person just doesn't learn from a textbook.
It was a relief to read some of her experiences and emotional struggles, to hear someone else's experience in dealing with that. It was validating, because even now I sometimes wonder about reality and truth. Gaslighting, especially that which is done to a person in their childhood, has a permanent effect.
I would recommend this book for everyone really. Obviously, it contains some harsh materials that many readers will find upsetting, but it contains some truths that just aren't out in the world in a tangible way. If you haven't been there, you will strengthen your ability to empathize with others. If you have, I think you may share some of my feelings of relief and validation.
I'm proud of her for writing this. I'm grateful.
Where do I begin? Perhaps with the caricature of the father. While tyrants and fathers and sheer crazy stupidity aren't mutually exclusive, I'm afraid the combination in Westover's presentation is a bit over the top. There are more than a few moments when her father suffers serious injury in his wrecking yard, and yet somehow miraculously survives without debilitating impediment, all through through the grace of hack home remedies not seen in employment since the Dark Ages, or perhaps anti-vaxxers and followers of Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop snake oil. Which makes me wonder if in fact Westover's mother wasn't a supplier of witch-doctor remedies to Paltrow.
Then there's Westover's assertion she and her six siblings were home-schooled by their mother, not much beyond a rudimentary ability to read and write. Not that the education (or lack thereof) wasn't possible, but that with this barely adequate education Westover somehow manages to not only escape the family cult, but achieve a stellar university education at Brigham Young, which institution is a known Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints university. While her education at is in fact a matter of record, how she achieved that given her background and financial distress remains questionable. Sure, there were grants, but as others have questioned, grants only take you so far.
And there is so much more which left me growling and researching to verify her allegations. I could go on. But what's the point?
Yet this autobiography received considerable literary and critical acclaim, having achieved the LA Times Book Prize, PEN America's Jean Stein Book Award, and two awards from the National Book Critics Circle Award. And that doesn't encompass the endorsement and praise received from the likes of President Barak Obama and others.
Did no one question Westover's radical claims? Did no one even have the basic understanding of some of the basic physics and science behind some of what she presented? Not one question from these luminaries? Just acceptance that because Westover wrote these things, and spoke with confidence, that all of this remarkable story is credible and true?
Perhaps I have grown cynical with age. But last I checked my ears weren't wet, and if I'm going to invest time in a reading journey with an author, that author best be sure their facts are straight.
Read Educated or not as you choose. Just be aware you're never going to get those hours back.
But "'Educated" is more than a memoir; it is a thriller and a page-turner as the author fights off the brainwashing techniques applied by her parents and the physical threats of one unstable brother. That Westover even managed to survive her upbringing is surprising; that she has done so well is almost a miracle.
Tara and her siblings faced so many obstacles, educational, financial, medical, and more. Let’s start with Tara’s father, a true patriarch whose word was law. He insisted Tara and her siblings work in the scrapyard he managed on their property, exposing them to all manner of occupational hazards and the inevitable injuries, some serious with long-lasting consequences. He enforced rigid rules governing gender roles and forms of dress. As they grew up, each of the children made some attempt at independence, with widely varying results. Those who were able to claim full adult independence started by surreptitiously studying during their spare time. It is difficult to grasp the persistence required to master secondary school concepts, gain admission to college, and progress through a post-secondary program with virtually no family support. For some of Tara’s siblings this proved impossible, in no small part due to the hold their father had on each of them and on their mother.
Tara’s impressive academic achievements are just part of her story. In Educated, she demonstrates a remarkable level of candor and self-awareness, describing how she had to shed the skin she grew up in to become a completely different person that could function in mainstream society. It took a long time for her to be able to take ibuprofen for pain, and to see a counselor who could help her work through a myriad of issues stemming from her upbringing. This memoir is an incredible story and highly recommended.