MISSING - If I Stay

by Gayle Forman

Paperback, 2010

Status

Checked out
Due Dec 3, 2022

Publication

Speak (2010), Edition: Reprint, 320 pages

Description

While in a coma following an automobile accident that killed her parents and younger brother, seventeen-year-old Mia, a gifted cellist, weighs whether to live with her grief or join her family in death.

Rating

½ (2332 ratings; 3.9)

Media reviews

If you want a story that really grabs at your heart this is perfect. Mia is a teenager who plays cello which comes almost natural to her. She even auditioned for Julliard . I really should have read this one at a better time than on a road trip. Considering the first chapter puts you right into a
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horrific car crash after a great morning with her family trying to decide what to do on their snow day. When I grabed this book I kind of just scimmed through it not really knowing what I was really in store for. During the car crash scene I had to stop several times because of the gore and pain I felt reading this. Of course I don't think it help stoping either for a while because every time my husband had to change lanes i was cringing inside, I'm just glad it wasn't snowing. I had to get back into the story because I just had to know what was going to happen to Mia.
The parnormal effect in this book was perfect, She was an apparition standing in the whole time looking over her life from the outside looking in. She was in a coma and heard everything but was unable to do anything. She had to decide whether to go with her family she lost or stay with the ones left be hide. Every character in this story I loved from the quite grandfather to the punk rocker boyfriend. I loved the flash backs of her family they made the book even more enjoyable. This story had me on the verge of tears several times. I was begging Mia to just stay the whole time. If this happen to me I think I would have a really hard time choosing. I will be reading this one over and over again!
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Publishers Weekly
Via Mia's thoughts and flashbacks, Forman (Sisters in Sanity) expertly explores the teenager's life, her passion for classical music and her strong relationships with her family, friends and boyfriend, Adam. Mia's singular perspective (which will recall Alice Sebold's adult novel, The Lovely Bones)
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also allows for powerful portraits of her friends and family as they cope: Please don't die. If you die, there's going to be one of those cheesy Princess Diana memorials at school, prays Mia's friend Kim. I know you'd hate that kind of thing. Intensely moving, the novel will force readers to take stock of their lives and the people and things that make them worth living.
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User reviews

LibraryThing member Whisper1
The tone is sublime and quiet, analogous to a Vermeer painting wherein time seems to stand still as we wait for something to occur.

Seventeen year old Mia began an ordinary day with her father, mother and little brother. School was closed in her small Oregon town. While only an inch of snow covered
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the ground -- not enough to make a snow man -- still, it was more than enough to make the roads slippery as a truck forcefully barreled into their car when the family made a short trip.

In a foggy state, Mia awakes to find the bodies of her mother, father and brother. Dreamlike, she watches her body as it is transported to a nearby hospital. Neither in this world or the next, unable to speak,Mia sees and feels those around her as they desperately try to save her.

In the hospital, she travels with her friends down corridors, into elevators and watches and hears as friends and family members cry at her bedside.

Through surgeries and astute observations she realizes her life hangs in a balance. Her choice: Should she leave to be with her family, or should she stay.

Compellingly told, this beautifully written story unfolds through many layers of realization that life can change in an instant.

Recommended
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LibraryThing member kayceel
I'm halfway through this one at the moment, and still annoyed at this book. It's ridiculously saccharine sweet, despite being about a teen girl - with sooooooo much potential! - in a coma, watching her family mourn her as she reflects upon her wonderful life.

From the moment on the first page when
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Mia's dad taps on his pipe (he does so ironically, because he's so damn hipster cool, as he used to be a punk rocker, but is now a middle-school English teacher and ironically smokes a pipe and rocks the whole professor look), I started cringing, and now my gag reflex has been engaged. I'm not even sure I know how to describe how annoying I find this book, while still managing to be swept up by it.

First of all, Mia's entire existence is ridiculous. Her parents are punk rockers with hearts of gold, who've grown up, but who are still awesomely - wait for it - sarcastic, and while they love that their daughter is a brilliant cellist possibly on her way to Julliard, they still both sort of wish she played the drums. Oh, and they jokingly reminisce about daddy's propensity to drink himself stupid and puke onstage when nervous (this they tell to ten-year-old Mia about to play her first recital). Oh, and her mom is sooooo cool that she wears a black leather miniskirt with a slutty red tank top after *just* having a baby! In Oregon! OOoooooooohhhhh!

The part that's just sent me over the edge is when out-of-body Mia hears her extended family discussing the man who caused the deadly accident Mia and her family has been in. They speak of how the poor man wasn't drinking and was unable to avoid the crash when Mia's dad swerved into his lane. Mia thinks of how she wishes she could go and comfort the poor man. BULLSHIT! She knows FOR SURE that he parents are dead, and still doesn't know if her little brother has survived, and she's sorry for the other dude who walked away without a scratch?!?!

Mia's already too damn angelic for this book, and while I'm still holding out hope that all this remembering is fabricated in some sort of coma dream, and Mia's family and life really isn't so saccharine sweet...but I seriously doubt it. Sigh.

*** Still reading, and ARRRGGGHHH! Didn't anyone Mia ever knew make a bad decision? Or even a mildly poor one? This utter perfection and anti-Beaver-yet-still-Cleaver sweetness is driving me nuts, yet there are still parts that get me and are making me cry. Grrrrr...

*** Okay, I finished it, and while I see why so many people gush about this book (and Adam? if you're real, call me?), I'm still frustrated by the shiny life Mia had. Of course, it'll be hard for her to choose to stay if all that magic (or, at least, a lot of that magic) is gone. I think it'd be more compelling if things weren't so beautiful and sweet and lovely all the time...
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LibraryThing member weener
What can I say? This was pretty much flawless.

In the beginning of the story, 17-year old Mia, a talented cellist and a bit of a misfit, gets in a car accident. Her aging punk rocker parents are killed instantly, her 7-year old brother dies soon after, and Mia is gravely injured. She goes into a
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coma and finds herself wandering around without her body for a few days. She watches her friends and extended family keep vigil at the hospital, reminisces about her life so far, and tries to decide whether to go back to her body and face grief and pain, or stop fighting and join her family in death.

This book was extremely engaging and believable. She captured the way teenagers talk without being condescending or annoying. Yes, an 18-year old boy WOULD probably refer to Yo-Yo Ma as "Yo Mama." That sort of detail makes the book so enjoyable to read. Also, I want to know how I can join this magical world where family members always support you and really seem to understand you.

There was also a very sweet romantic aspect with classical music geek Mia and her rocker boyfriend Adam, who is very kindhearted and sweet. There was an amazing scene of sensuality where Mia and Adam take turns playing each other's unclothed bodies like their instrument of choice (cello and guitar, respectively). There's also quite a bit of swearing and talk of underage drinking that make this book a good recommendation for older teens.
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LibraryThing member kpickett
Mia is facing a tough decision. She loves her life with her punk rock parents in Portland, especially her best friend Kim and her rock star boyfriend, Adam. But she is pretty sure she nailed her audition to Julliard. If she is accepted she will have to move out to New York to follow her passion,
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cello. Mia isn't looking forward to making the choice, when it is made for her.On a snowy day, Mia's family decides to go for a drive and visit a few friends, when they car collides with a truck. Mia's parents die instantly and she and her brother are life-flighted to the nearest hospital. Mia watches this all from outside her own body, watching the EMTs trying to staunch the flow of blood from her internal injuries, and multiple surgeries at the hospital. Mia now has a different choice in front of her: stay with the living, or join the rest of her family.A short quick read that for the most part is a pretty clean book (few swear words). I grew to really like Mia's parents and she flashes back to different points in their life. I cried in the end but not like I have in other books, so don't worry about it getting too emotional!
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LibraryThing member katiekrug
[If I Stay] is the story of Mia, a seventeen year old musician in Oregon who, after a horrible car accident, finds herself in the space between life and death, forced to choose whether to hold on or to let go. The novel shifts between Mia’s experiences outside her body – able to see the results
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of the accident, know what happened, see her friends’ and family’s reactions and vigils at the hospital – and her memories of life before the accident. Forman gives us a picture of a somewhat unconventional family, one bound by love and acceptance of each other. It’s a beautiful portrait, but I found the sections describing the hours after the accident the most gripping. The idea that sometimes a victim is allowed to choose whether to live or to die, in a part of reality invisible to us, was wonderfully explored, and the horror of what happened to this young woman and her family is ultimately tempered by the reader’s knowledge of all that she still has to live for.
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LibraryThing member mollybeaver
This chapter book is now a major motion picture. The plot involves a girl who has an out of body experience after being in a car crash that killed her parents and younger brother. She battles what she has left to live for and struggles to decide if she should stay or if she should let go. The book
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is riveting, but definitely for a more mature reader. Potentially detracts a male reader.
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LibraryThing member rodonnell03
This book may make you cry. It may make you want to listen to some really good music. But it will definitely make you think. It will make you fall in love with the characters and fall in love with reading the book.

If I Stay is a well written book with a very interesting style that I do enjoy. I
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tend to like writers like John Green, and this book had similar aspects, but was different. I think I am drawn to books that focus on serious topics because it gives me an interesting perspective on things I don't usually think about (like death).
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LibraryThing member gaskella
I came to this novel knowing nothing at all about the plot other than it was a family drama; but I had read several recommendations of this novel from respected sources. They all said that it was a book best encountered fresh, that knowing would spoil the enjoyment of reading it.

I concur
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wholeheartedly.
This is a fantastic book about love, loss and decisions which made me well up with tears repeatedly. Written for teens (there are adult themes), it charts the story of Mia, a young cellist, her musical family and rocker boyfriend - you'll fall in love with all of them. Set in Oregon, their story is picked out in flashback over the course of the novel over the course of one night.

That's all I can say about the story without spoiling it. It's short enough to be read in one session. It will appeal to fans of Jodie Picoult's family dilemma dramas, but it's way better. A brilliant three-hanky novel.
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LibraryThing member nomadreader
Gayle Forman's young adult novel, If I Stay, is tremendous. It's the story of a lovely family in Oregon: punk rockers turned cool parents and their two children Mia, a gifted cellist and high school senior and Teddy. The bulk of the story is told by Mia through flashbacks after the family is in a
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car accident. She tries to figure out if she's alive, and if so, should she stay when her family is gone.

What could easily become schlocky or depressing is ultimately uplifting in the deft hands of Forman. The characters are a family I want to have over for dinner. The book is a mere two hundred pages, but Forman manages to have not just one, but a multitude of well-formed, likeable characters.

Yes, it's a young adult novel, but I would recommend it to adult readers as well. It's a timeless tale, and it's the second-best book I've read this year (the best is The Lost Witness by Robert Ellis, but read his City of Fire first).
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LibraryThing member WorldLit
A wonderful novel that drew me in from the first pages. The story flows well between the present and the memories of Mia, the 17 year old whose live changes forever in a single moment.

A very emotion-charged and thoughtful story,
LibraryThing member lesvrolyk
“If I Stay” is a touching and moving story. It’s written for young adults, but can be easily enjoyed by old adults too. Gayle Forman writes quite beautifully. The book is well crafted and keeps the reader engrossed in the story. I enjoyed it and recommend it.
LibraryThing member 59Square
This is a lovely love story between a high school girl and the life she has always known - it is a very full life, crammed full of friends, a boyfriend and most importantly music. On this day, Mia's family takes off to visit friends and family in the snow and ice. They are in a grave car accident
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where Mia's family dies. But Mia stays, floating over her body, watching everything that goes on. She begins to realize that she has to make the decision to stay and live or die. And what will that decision be? Mia goes back through her life in flashbacks, giving a sense not only of herself, but of her very cool parents as well. I didn't want to read this book at first - it seemed too hard. It also reminded me a lot of the Lovely Bones, in a sort of derivative way. But I ended up really liking Mia and the cast of characters that surrounded her. And I think the decision she makes is true to herself. Her romance with her boyfriend is also very loving, not super romantic, but true, which is nice too. All in all a pretty good book.
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LibraryThing member Conner23456
I love the story of this book. It is really good. I would recomend it to everyone.

As a first book for the author it is really good.
LibraryThing member scoutlee
Seventeen-year-old Mia may have an almost perfect life. She’s a senior in high school and recently auditioned for Julliard. She’s dating Adam, the lead singer and guitarist of a band, and she has a good relationship with her parents. Quite honestly, she really doesn’t have anything to
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complain about.

Then on a snowy February day, her life forever changes. The choice is no longer should she move to New York City and pursue her dream or stay in Oregon to be with her family or Adam. The choice she now has to make is between life and death.

If I Stay is told in the present after the car accident as Mia watches herself in a coma. Her family and friends arrive at the hospital to wait, hope and pray for her. The story also unfolds by flashbacks of Mia and her family. It’s in these flashbacks where the reader comes to understand the intensity of her relationship with her parents, younger brother Teddy and Adam.

When Mia overhears an ICU nurse speaking with her grandparents, she realizes she can either choose life or death.

“You might think that the doctors or nurses or all this is running the show,” she says, gesturing to the wall of medical equipment. “Nuh-uh. She’s running the show. Maybe she’s just biding her time. So you talk to her. You tell her to take all the time she needs, but to come on back. You’re waiting for her.” (p. 69)

It’s not until Adam arrives to see her that Mia comes to understand the impact her decision will have. Not only for her, but also for Adam and her friends and family.

Although If I Stay is a young adult novel, adult readers will be moved by the story too. It’s a beautifully written story that I highly recommend.
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LibraryThing member abbylibrarian
It snowed in Oregon that winter morning. Mia celebrated the day off from school; it was a day off from everything, really. Her cello was at school, so she couldn't practice. Her parents stayed home from work and the family decided to visit some friends.

On the way there, a truck ran into their car.
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Mia's parents were killed instantly. Her brother, well, she wasn't sure what happened to her brother. And Mia found herself standing outside her broken body and facing a decision: should she stay or should she go?

This is a beautiful little book. The characters came to life for me as I got to know Mia through her memories. Her relationship with her boyfriend was developed very organically and realistically. Mia's passion for music adds a little something extra to the story.
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LibraryThing member stonelaura
It's kind of refreshing to get a story where the family is loving and normal and the narrator doesn't have big problems. Deciding whether or not to choose Julliard over her boyfriend is Mia's biggest issue -- that is, until her family is in a horrific car accident. The story's actual time period is
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a day and night while Mia is in the ICU. Her spirit, (with, darn it, no special abilities like walking through walls or transporting to Hawaii), hovers nearby observing the grief of her remaining relatives and friends. As the day progresses Mia reflects back on her life as she decides whether she'll stay on earth or join her family in death. The story is straight forward, sweet and moving.
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LibraryThing member Aerrin99
This book was a delightful surprise. It doesn't read like my usual fare, and I passed it over on many a recommendation list after reading the summary, but there was finally one rec too many for me to ignore.

In the hands of a less-capable author, this book would have been nothing more than
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emotionally manipulative clap-trap or intensely depressing. Forman manages something much more.

The strength here is not in the concept - although that is well-executed - but in her characters. Through a series of flashbacks, Forman draws distinct, gorgeous pictures of the people who populate Mia's life. It's astounding that this thin little book about death can contain so much life. Mia's family and friends live and breathe quite vividly, and that's why this book works - because ultimately, it's a book not about death, but about life. About what drives us in living, about the pain and heartbreak of it and about the absolute joy of it.

I cried through much of this book - it is, given the subject matter, unbearably sad in some places. But I also smiled, and when I turned the last page, I felt the sense of deep satisfaction one gets when they finish a story that has been well told.
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LibraryThing member callmecayce
The YA librarian at the rural library I work at ordered this book, which I'd never heard of until I started looking through the new YA books. I picked this one up, the cover is quite striking and started reading it. I got sucked into it almost right away, and was saddened when I put it back (it
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hadn't even been cataloged yet!). Eventually I got to check it out and I devoured the rest of it in about 5 hours. It was utterly brilliant. Forman's characters are beautifully written, her plot is strong and the story is gripping. Told through flashbacks, we go through Mia's life as she remembers it on what might be her last day alive. The story, while fast paced, never seems to speed along or get out of control. What it does is slip inside you and you want to will Mia along. It's a strong, lovely book and I highly recommend it.
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LibraryThing member TheDreamerReader
Hmm... what can I say about If I Stay?

The Good: Wow. If I Stay is memorable, it has unique characters that I'm sure, years from now I'll remember. I know I always start of critiquing the characters but, what can I stay? I need well-developed characters!

Adam! Unlike the playboy rockstar boyfriends
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that leave you broken-hearted, crying, or pregnant (or all of the above), Adam is an awesome guy. Awesome Adam, there ya go! There's a part in the book (that I don't want to spoil for you guys) that just really made my heart melt.

Mia's parents are so quirky and unique that I was kinda of jealous of Mia (even though I do love my Mom). I just wanted to hug each character in this book.

And the scene with Mia's grandpa... it made me really miss my Grandpa and wish that he was still alive, even if I didn't know him.

Another thing I loved was how music played such a huge part in If I Stay. Music is love in search of word, that's my little bumper sticker wisdom tidbit of the day for y'all. If I Stay was a lot funnier than I thought it would be. I mean, who thinks a book about death is funny? ...actually, I can think of a few (don't ask, it's a long story).

This book made me think. If I had the choice, would I stay or would I leave? Mia has grown and at the end, I couldn't help but feel proud of her because I was just so freaking happy.

The Bad: I was a little dissapointed with this novel. It's a very good novel, but I was expecting great! Maybe my expectations were too high but, with all the great reviews it was getting... but I guess it just didn't click for me.

One of the problems I had with it was writing. I know I'm probably going to die for this, but OH em gee... it reminded me of Twilight for Edward's sake! How can this be?! Come on, did anyone of you HONESTLY think that Mia sounds like a 17 year old?

The writing... it does NOT sound like a teenager's voice. It sounds like a freaking middle age woman's (no offese to the writer, in ANY way) voice!! I mean, you CAN use abbreviations! That just annoyed me to no end. It won't (
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LibraryThing member joannemepham29
This was a heartbreaking but wonderful read, and very well written. I was completely entranced into the story, and characters and got teary eyed a couple of time. Well done, and I highly recommend the book.
LibraryThing member Ziaria
This book grabbed me from the get go. Being an Oregonian myself, I caught on and understood all the little Oregon details the author put into this book. I really liked that aspect. It made me feel at home while listening to it.

I instantly liked Mia and her family and could almost feel her confusion
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and pain during and after the accident that left her outside herself looking in.

Gayle did a wonderful job with all of Mia's back stories she seems to lose herself in while all the doctors, nurses, surgery, hospital stuff is going on all around her. It really brought Mia to life for me hearing about her parents, grandparents, family, her childhood, Kim, Adam, & Julliard.

I have to say at a few points this book nearly brought me to tears and I don't cry easily at all. I could feel Mia's desperation while trying to decide whether or not to stay. So heart breaking.

As with all the audio books I listen too, the narrator really makes or breaks the book for me. Kirsten Potter was amazing and really brought this book to life for me.
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LibraryThing member iwriteinbooks
Imagine: You love your family. Your parents dig the Ramones and actually know what MTV is. They still jam with their old band mates and encourage your own expressive freedom. They get you and you get them. You even enjoy spending time with your nine year old brother. You have a sexy but sweet
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boyfriend who plays lead guitar and vocals for Portland’s hippest and and coming rock band. You are an bright young cellist player, catching the eye of many a milling mentor with an application in to Julliard.

Forgetting for a moment the stresses of senior year and the anxiety that comes with the prospect of leaving your home for a strange city across country, you go out for a post-breakfast drive with your beloved family one snowy weekend morning. A driver hits your car leaving you and your family in critical condition. Instead of remaining with your body, however, you suddenly find yourself watching the scene, your relatives and friends visiting as you remain alive on machines alone. It soon becomes abundantly clear that it is your decision to a make: Should I stay or should I go?

Meet Mia. This is her life.

If I Stay is Mia’s story of a cooler than normal life suddenly and violently derailed. It is a beautiful and subtle meditation on what we perceive, in the moment and beyond, as important, pivotal and truly life altering. A short story but a powerful one, there are undercurrents of faith discussion but it remains non-denominational and refrains from any specific moralistic babble. The discussion is rather a discovery and exploration of the choices we make in life (and possibly in death) and how these choices are effected by those we love.

While Forman could easily have slipped into cheesy metaphors, she keeps the beat realistically grounded with a strong musical theme, both classical and alta-core. The writing is rich and well rounded in a way that a lot of young adult writing is not. I read a criticism of the book (by an adult) a little while ago that complained that this was not written for teens, that high school students do not speak like Mia and her friends. I will argue that and say that this is perhaps exactly how teens speak and certainly write. We often forget as “wise” adults that high school seniors are either preparing for or recovering from strenuous SAT prep during which they are certainly expected to master vocabulary and sentence structure that the average adult hasn’t seen since. Forman intelligently embraces this with engaging ease in a style that weaves a magnificent little piece of work.

This is geared toward teens but it is also a pretty deep analysis of important life forces that will resonate with anyone who has ever faced a heavy loss. Be warned, though, I don’t cry at the end of books or movies and I was pretty weepy when I set it down.
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LibraryThing member jenniferthomp75
***Spoiler alert*** 18 year old Mia's life changes completely after a devastating car wreck claims the lives of her parents and younger brother. Mia's spirit leaves her body and watches the aftermath as well as the what happens in the hospital. She weighs whether or not she will continue to live or
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die and join her family.

This book has wonderful pacing as well as works well as a nail-biter. I absolutely fell in love with her former punk rock parents and her brother through the flashbacks. I felt the main characters were all well developed and interesting. I can see why teens are clamoring to read it. Very well done. And extra kudos for the author because she included a reference to Dead Moon.
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LibraryThing member educ318
In this heart wrenching novel, a young woman clings to life after a terrible accident, trying to decide whether to fight for life and stay among the living or pass on into death. As she observes her loved ones grieving and trying to cope with the accident, she reviews key moments from her life that
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impact her decision-making. (Dr. Kottke, August 2009)
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LibraryThing member mmillet
Mia has experienced the ups and downs of life. She is a talented and serious cellist with a somewhat unusual family and an incredible punk-tastic boyfriend. After school is canceled due to a snowstorm, Mia and her family get in the car to visit some friends. Then the unthinkable happens: a fatal
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accident that leaves Mia a spectator to her own frantic rescue and hospitalization. After witnessing the parade of doctors, nurses and worried family and friends Mia realizes she must make the ultimate decision in her life: continue to live…or leave it all behind and simply let go.Slim it is, fluff it ain’t. Heartache, pain, tenderness, love and sacrifice fill every page as Mia is visited by friends and family and flashbacks to various points in her life. These flashbacks contain vivid memories of her parents, grandparents, brother Teddy, boyfriend Adam, best friend Kim, and a love affair with her cello. Each visit or memory underscores her unique relationship those she loves; each one contributing to a different facet of Mia’s personality and illustrating the difficulty of her choice. Along the way, Mia discovers dying is easy, living is what’s truly hard. IF I STAY could have easily turned itself into a trite melodrama with cardboard characters, but instead, it deftly handles life-altering challenges with sensitivity and extreme care. I couldn’t help but review those things that make my own life worth living after reading this little book.3 1/2 stars
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Awards

Soaring Eagle Book Award (Nominee — 2014)
Sequoyah Book Award (Nominee — High School — 2012)
Kentucky Bluegrass Award (Nominee — Grades 9-12 — 2011)
Pennsylvania Young Reader's Choice Award (Nominee — Young Adult — 2011)
Gateway Readers Award (Nominee — 3rd Place — 2012)
Oregon Reader's Choice Award (Nominee — 2012)
Blue Hen Book Award (Winner — 2011)
Grand Canyon Reader Award (Recommended — 2012)
Florida Teens Read Award (Nominee — 2011)
Virginia Readers' Choice (Nominee — High School — 2011)
Black-Eyed Susan Book Award (Nominee — High School — 2011)
Milwaukee County Teen Book Award (Honor Book — 2010)
Volunteer State Book Award (Nominee — Young Adult — 2012)
Evergreen Teen Book Award (Nominee — 2012)
Isinglass Teen Read Award (Nominee — 2011)
South Carolina Book Awards (Nominee — Young Adult Book Award — 2011)
Best Fiction for Young Adults (Selection — 2010)
Read Aloud Indiana Book Award (High School — 2012)

Language

Original language

English

Original publication date

2009-04-02

Physical description

320 p.; 8.19 inches

ISBN

9780142415436
Page: 4.7037 seconds