Status
Available
Publication
Simon Spotlight Entertainment (2004), 165 pages
Description
Based on an episode of "Sex and the City," offers a lighthearted, no-nonsense look at dead-end relationships, with advice for letting go and moving on.
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User reviews
LibraryThing member pacifickle
So, ladies, remember the episode of "Sex & The City" where Miranda realizes a guy just isn't that into her and is totally liberated? Two contributers to the show expanded upon the idea and made a book of it. This book basically tries to beat it into your head that if a guy really wants to sleep
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with you, he will make an effort. You don't have to try. If he likes you, he'll call (when he says he will), he'll want to be around you all the time (no matter how busy he is), he won't care that he just got out of a relationship / has committment issues, he'll try very hard to sleep with you, and he will ask you to marry him. I like the idea of it, but is a book really necessary? The mantra itself was probably enough. This book outlines all the ways girls try to weasel and say a guy is into them when he's not. I totally recognized myself in this book (Bartender Ben, anyone?), and maybe if I had it then, I wouldn't have wasted 2 months kissing him in college, but who knows. They didn't specifically talk about mentally unstable bartenders who work nights and don't have phones, but pretty much every other kind of guy you crush on is mentioned. Anyway, I wouldn't bother with this one, unless you're bored or intrigued (or if you have a jerk boyfriend), but try to just remember the concept and apply it as needed. Show Less
LibraryThing member mhleigh
This "No-Excuse Truth to Understanding Guys" explains a variety of relationship issues, such as guys not calling, disappearing, cheating, etc. The explanation is universally that if the guy really wanted to be with you, he would not be acting in this way. And no amount of
Quote: "I know it's nice to have companionship and wake up with somebody that you really like, but that's what pets are for. Pets are God's way of saying, "Don't lower the bar because you're lonely."
I found this book to be more-or-less entertaining, although occassionally disheartening (the things women put themselves through!) Although I could not relate to a lot of the conflicted situations related in the stories. However, taken as extremes for the sake of proven a point (which I am sure are sometimes valid), I found them to be entertaining.
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waiting/changing/loving/etc will change that fundamental flaw in your relationship (or non relationship). Quote: "I know it's nice to have companionship and wake up with somebody that you really like, but that's what pets are for. Pets are God's way of saying, "Don't lower the bar because you're lonely."
I found this book to be more-or-less entertaining, although occassionally disheartening (the things women put themselves through!) Although I could not relate to a lot of the conflicted situations related in the stories. However, taken as extremes for the sake of proven a point (which I am sure are sometimes valid), I found them to be entertaining.
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LibraryThing member bookwormygirl
He’s Just Not That Into You is mainly written by self-proclaimed "bad guy" Greg Behrendt who was a consultant on the show "Sex and the City". He bluntly explains why men act the way they do and how women should interpret their actions. We also get the female version through Liz Tuccillo’s words
Overall, a great insight into the way a man’s mind works and also a hilariously funny read. I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions!
Although this book is a self-help book (which did not really apply to me), I can say that I learned one thing from it and that was to realize how much my husband was really into me when we were dating and still is after 10 years.
Some parts that I thought were great:
"My favorite innocent words and phrases that can be used for evil:
1. " I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you"
2. " Fear of Intimacy"
3. " Busy"
4. " Im not ready"
5. "Call me''
True meaning: He does not really like you!"
" Women don't need to plot, scheme, and beg to get someone to ask us out. We are fantastic."
A definite must read for any single girl out there that could use a little inside information and a push in the right direction.
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(also a consultant for SATC). What I liked most about this book is that the authors never make the reader feel as if they have to change who they are in order to snag a guy. This book is about learning how to deal with the men in your relationships and realizing when the time has come to cut your losses and just move on.Overall, a great insight into the way a man’s mind works and also a hilariously funny read. I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions!
Although this book is a self-help book (which did not really apply to me), I can say that I learned one thing from it and that was to realize how much my husband was really into me when we were dating and still is after 10 years.
Some parts that I thought were great:
"My favorite innocent words and phrases that can be used for evil:
1. " I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you"
2. " Fear of Intimacy"
3. " Busy"
4. " Im not ready"
5. "Call me''
True meaning: He does not really like you!"
" Women don't need to plot, scheme, and beg to get someone to ask us out. We are fantastic."
A definite must read for any single girl out there that could use a little inside information and a push in the right direction.
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LibraryThing member szferris
ok...so i put off reading this book for a long time.....and now i konw why....now...don't misunderstand me...it was well written...and there were times i was laughing so hard i was crying....but the bottom line for me on this one is...are women really this stupid??? i was not able to relate to any
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of the "questions" that were asked....and although i did enjoy the way it was presented....and really....i did laugh....most of the time i just thought....wow.....i guess i think like a guy....i am looking forward to the film as i will be very interested to see how they put it together...... Show Less
LibraryThing member leahdawn
This is a book you pass along to your gal-pals when they are in need. Rock solid, humorous advice to remind us that we are, indeed, superfoxes.
LibraryThing member mdomsky
Liz Tucillo, a writer for the TV show Sex and the City, and Greg Behrendt, a consultant for the show who also has his own show, give us the straight truth about guys. Guys would rather be torn limb from limb than tell women that they just aren't that into them. They explain all the different kinds
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of excuses that women make for the men that they want to love, and why these excuses just aren't good enough. All women deserve to be in a satisfying relationship, not stringing themselves along, so Greg and Liz share their uncensored thoughts and advice. To lighten the heavy, horrible truth, they try to tell it in the funniest, most cynical way they can. Show Less
LibraryThing member amcgoogan
A funny, but all too true book about the men women try to date. It goes through all different types or men and attaches an excuse to them, as to why it's just not working out. The format is a quick, easy read. It has a "Dear Abby" style to it's writing. The authors are pretty right on, with their
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advice, even though it's not what you may want to hear. Show Less
LibraryThing member FMRox
Funny self-help book written by both a man and women about why women need to dump the jerk they are with.
Very humorous and not too serious but probably good advice. I read the book in about 1.5 hours and I 'm a slow reader. Definitely needs a sequel.
Very humorous and not too serious but probably good advice. I read the book in about 1.5 hours and I 'm a slow reader. Definitely needs a sequel.
LibraryThing member cdp02005
He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt (2009)
LibraryThing member samicat24
I loved the movie..and not so much the book. I found the book to be whiny and repetative. Some of the entries from women were ridiculous! Women dating married men. Women who's boyfriends are cheating on them.
I would highly recommend the movie before the book. I actually only read the whiny entries
I would highly recommend the movie before the book. I actually only read the whiny entries
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from teh women and skimmed the rest of it. Show Less
LibraryThing member deargreenplace
This book was recommended to me by a friend. She told me that it is just the kick up the ar@e that single girls like us need. I don't read a great deal of non-fiction, but I am an SATC fan, and knowing that the authors were writers on the programme helped me decide to give He's Just Not That Into
First of all, it's funny. Relationships can be that way when you're not involved in them. Secondly, Greg Behrendt is so straight-talking it will make you wince, but the hook with this book is that he's a guy claiming to understand guyspeak and guy behaviour. Whether you want to hear the truth or not, Greg is going to tell you anyway. And it isn't sugar-coated, as your female friends might make it.
The upshot, for those looking for a shortcut to the heart of the matter in matters of the heart, is that if a male is really interested in a female, he will let her know. He will pursue her for a date, phone when he promises to, and treat her well. Greg's premise is that if any of this is NOT happening, then he's just not that into you. For a guy, it's really that simple (says Greg). If you are a lady and you are dealing with a male who cannot treat you as you deserve to be treated (i.e. with respect), then it is your responsibility not to settle: "don't waste the pretty".
A female perspective is provided by Liz Tucillo, who contributes a sort of call and response to Greg's advice in the book. And it's just as well, because Greg's harsh advice was starting to have me wondering whether he intends for us all to stay single for the rest of our lives. Liz is also direct, in that she points out to Greg that it is extremely hard to find any of these wonderful men that he claims exist out there. She knows, because she's 41, single and living in NYC - very SATC. I know a fair few single ladies myself - well-educated, attractive, well-travelled, and inexplicably single. They expect a lot from their partners and are usually disappointed, and they already have these standards. It's a bit like SATC but without the wardrobe budget. Not pretty. Few of us know many eligible single males - perhaps they're all in LA hanging out with Greg.
Some of the "you're worth it" cheering in the book (yes, from Greg) can get a little irritating. Some of the anecdotes are too ridiculous for words, but also strangely feasible. Liz evens him out, but they both have valid points to make, and provide handy checklists and tongue-in-cheek exercises to help us along. The humour saves it all from sounding worthy or preachy, and even if you're not single, you should find it quite entertaining.
So, if your dates aren't going well, their advice is to stand strong. Have some standards about what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship. Stick to those standards. And get rid if you see the signs that he's just not that into you. Greg swears that there are men out there who are just waiting to treat us as though they are definitely into us.
Simple? Oh yes. These standards are what's keeping us single in the first place. And so it goes.
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You a shot.First of all, it's funny. Relationships can be that way when you're not involved in them. Secondly, Greg Behrendt is so straight-talking it will make you wince, but the hook with this book is that he's a guy claiming to understand guyspeak and guy behaviour. Whether you want to hear the truth or not, Greg is going to tell you anyway. And it isn't sugar-coated, as your female friends might make it.
The upshot, for those looking for a shortcut to the heart of the matter in matters of the heart, is that if a male is really interested in a female, he will let her know. He will pursue her for a date, phone when he promises to, and treat her well. Greg's premise is that if any of this is NOT happening, then he's just not that into you. For a guy, it's really that simple (says Greg). If you are a lady and you are dealing with a male who cannot treat you as you deserve to be treated (i.e. with respect), then it is your responsibility not to settle: "don't waste the pretty".
A female perspective is provided by Liz Tucillo, who contributes a sort of call and response to Greg's advice in the book. And it's just as well, because Greg's harsh advice was starting to have me wondering whether he intends for us all to stay single for the rest of our lives. Liz is also direct, in that she points out to Greg that it is extremely hard to find any of these wonderful men that he claims exist out there. She knows, because she's 41, single and living in NYC - very SATC. I know a fair few single ladies myself - well-educated, attractive, well-travelled, and inexplicably single. They expect a lot from their partners and are usually disappointed, and they already have these standards. It's a bit like SATC but without the wardrobe budget. Not pretty. Few of us know many eligible single males - perhaps they're all in LA hanging out with Greg.
Some of the "you're worth it" cheering in the book (yes, from Greg) can get a little irritating. Some of the anecdotes are too ridiculous for words, but also strangely feasible. Liz evens him out, but they both have valid points to make, and provide handy checklists and tongue-in-cheek exercises to help us along. The humour saves it all from sounding worthy or preachy, and even if you're not single, you should find it quite entertaining.
So, if your dates aren't going well, their advice is to stand strong. Have some standards about what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship. Stick to those standards. And get rid if you see the signs that he's just not that into you. Greg swears that there are men out there who are just waiting to treat us as though they are definitely into us.
Simple? Oh yes. These standards are what's keeping us single in the first place. And so it goes.
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LibraryThing member theanalogdivide
Listened to the audio for the ARRT nonfiction reader's advisory genre study, and found it to be a frothy cocktail of simplemindedness and condescension. Drink it up!
LibraryThing member ctorstens
My friend gave this to me while I was traveling cross country... It was actually a lot of fun to listen to (note: I'm a guy). I found it pretty accurate, but largely for the beginning of relationships when connection is pretty "superficial," that with longer term relationships some of the signals a
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guy sends aren't because "he just isn't that in to you," but because there are other things going on. Show Less
LibraryThing member GeniAus.
It's not often that I don't persevere with a book but I couldn't waste my precious time finishing this trite tome when there are so many other worthwhile books on my bookshelf crying out to be read.
Rarely do I find a movie better than the book, however, in this case the acceptable movie (maybe
Don't bother with the book.
Rarely do I find a movie better than the book, however, in this case the acceptable movie (maybe
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because I was a captive audience on a trans-Pacific flight) was based on a boring, repetitive book.Don't bother with the book.
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LibraryThing member laws
I wish I would have reaf this book when I was in my 20's and 30's. I am 42 but still found this important on dating/relationships right on the money. I am going to recommend this book to my 20 year old daughter. The main thing to be gotten out of this book is don't revolve your life around a guy.
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Guys can be part of our lives but we must not make them our whole life. I esp. liked chapter 10: He's just not that into you if he's married(and other insane variations of being unavailable). I once had a crush on a marreid man but it never went beyond that. He's marriied and I respect that and him. And I didn't want to be that girl. No one should want to be that girl/woman. remember let the guy find you when he's ready. If the guy wants to talk to you , he will. Show Less
LibraryThing member CityLove
This book is very informative and although I agree with alot of the points that were made it made me feel like crap. I now question whether any man I have ever been in a relationship ever loved me. This book belongs is now in my fireplace. I was better off not knowing.
LibraryThing member indygo88
Picked up this audiobook because I thought it would be funny & entertaining. It is -- to a degree. Not sure I liked the format, though. It did get repetitive. It seemed to center on sex in a relationship a little too heavily, in my opinion. My favorite part: the "What you should've learned in this
I haven't seen the movie. I think I'd like to, but it's hard for me to see how the format of this book was adapted into a movie.
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chapter" at the end of each chapter. Brief, simple statements, but they rang very true. Good as a daily affirmation, especially for those single women who are endlessly searching & being disappointed in their choices. And the quote in there about one of the main differences between men & women: women not being able to separate sex from emotion, whereas for men it's two different things. SO TRUE!I haven't seen the movie. I think I'd like to, but it's hard for me to see how the format of this book was adapted into a movie.
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LibraryThing member veranaz22
Half a star for effort. But really, I just skimmed past the explanation parts and didn't last past the 15th page. Reading the first 10 pages, I thought, "are you serious? Are people really this shallow?" I picked up the book because I liked the movie. I saw that it was by people from "Sex and the
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City," and got a bit discouraged. It's not really my scene, but since the movie was ok I thought I'd still give the book a try. This book, IMO, seems to be about shallow people who read WAY too much into things the opposite sex do. Also, I don't seem to understand what audience this book is aimed at. Teens? Tweens? Idgi. Show Less
LibraryThing member BeeQuiet
It was entertaining, up to a point, then it got extremely repetitive. It was like Greg was trying to hypnotise me into not falling for the wrong person, just through sheer repetition. Unfortunately although he does have some good points, I can't quite believe people are still writing stuff like
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this in these modern times... Show Less
LibraryThing member sraimone
I bought this book after hearing excerpts at a forensics competition. It was hilarious. I know that it is suppose to be a self-help type book, but the way that the authors answer relationship questions had me laughing the whole time. The movie however was a flop.
LibraryThing member anieva
I never read relationship help books like this, so I was really happily surprised to find this was gold. All the psychiatrists in the world wouldn't give such good advice. It's like someone extracted all the common sense from all the most sensible and sensitive women who ever lived and put it in
And, even better the authors are totally upfront that they are comedic writers and not experts. They're people and that's why they know. I was cynical and thought they were just out to make money and a product. But this book is actually really useful and needed to be shared. It's great that they add that, of course, everyone's different and has to make their own decisions.
It was a surprising read that didn't pretend to be more than it is. And, I have to admit, it actually seems like the authors care about the topic and women. I'm pretty cynical, but maybe I've been taken in. Still, it was fun to read and its message bears consideration.
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concentrated form in this book. And, even better the authors are totally upfront that they are comedic writers and not experts. They're people and that's why they know. I was cynical and thought they were just out to make money and a product. But this book is actually really useful and needed to be shared. It's great that they add that, of course, everyone's different and has to make their own decisions.
It was a surprising read that didn't pretend to be more than it is. And, I have to admit, it actually seems like the authors care about the topic and women. I'm pretty cynical, but maybe I've been taken in. Still, it was fun to read and its message bears consideration.
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LibraryThing member bookwormteri
I picked up this book a couple years ago and blew it off...of course, I was in a relationship then. Reading it now, well, I have a different opinion. I know that I have a tendency to make excuses for bad behavior and really shouldn't. So this book is kind of eye opening and makes complete sense.
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Every single woman (and possibly man) should read this and take the lessons to heart. Show Less
LibraryThing member cebellol
Ok, I shall preface by saying that this book was not what I thought it would be, and therefore, I was not in the correct state of mind when I read it. That said, I still really enjoyed it.
I just went through... well, it's difficult to say what it was. I wouldn't quite call it a break up b/c we were
I traded for it on another site, knowing that it was the book that the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" was based off of. I thought it would be the same story-like thing. A fictitious piece of hilarity that would cheer me up and bring me out of my miserable, blue state. I was incorrect in this mindset.
It's the book the movie was based off of, yes, but it's a funny, cute, snarky little self help sort of book. It was hilarious, or rather it would have been if I didn't see some of the excuses I'd made for what I'd just gotten out of pop up in there. It made me cry; I'll admit it. It was also difficult for me to read. The parts that weren't related to me made me chuckle quite a bit though.
Am I glad I read it? Yes. Do I wish I'd read it earlier or MUCH later? Definitely. Don't read something like this right after you split with somebody. You see the excuses you made for them to all your family and friends and whomever and realize how foolish you sounded. And I'll tell you what, it hurts. These two give you the God's honest truth about it all, but it still hurts. Make sure you are in the right state of mind to read this book. I cannot stress that enough, so I will say it again. Make sure you are in the right state of mind to read this book.
I just went through... well, it's difficult to say what it was. I wouldn't quite call it a break up b/c we were
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never going out officially, but whatever it was, it ended... sort of suddenly & very emotionally (for me at least). I wont' go into details, b/c hell! I don't even know you ppl! Anyway, I was looking to cheer myself up, so I said to myself,"Self, why don't you read that book you just got."I traded for it on another site, knowing that it was the book that the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" was based off of. I thought it would be the same story-like thing. A fictitious piece of hilarity that would cheer me up and bring me out of my miserable, blue state. I was incorrect in this mindset.
It's the book the movie was based off of, yes, but it's a funny, cute, snarky little self help sort of book. It was hilarious, or rather it would have been if I didn't see some of the excuses I'd made for what I'd just gotten out of pop up in there. It made me cry; I'll admit it. It was also difficult for me to read. The parts that weren't related to me made me chuckle quite a bit though.
Am I glad I read it? Yes. Do I wish I'd read it earlier or MUCH later? Definitely. Don't read something like this right after you split with somebody. You see the excuses you made for them to all your family and friends and whomever and realize how foolish you sounded. And I'll tell you what, it hurts. These two give you the God's honest truth about it all, but it still hurts. Make sure you are in the right state of mind to read this book. I cannot stress that enough, so I will say it again. Make sure you are in the right state of mind to read this book.
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LibraryThing member LeticiaToraci
I read this book as research for a novel I'm writing and, ouch, the truth hurts. Finally a book with no nonsense approach to dating. It's a bit harsh, but so it's dating life. In any case I wished I had read this book as a teenager, it would have helped me avoid a lot of traps.
LibraryThing member Heather_Brock
Yeah...I read this a couple of years ago...still a little embarrassed. But it was funny!
Subjects
Awards
Quill Award (Winner — 2005)
Language
Original language
English
Original publication date
2004
Physical description
165 p.; 8.25 inches
ISBN
068987474X / 9780689874741