Status
Available
Genres
Publication
Knopf (2019), Edition: 1st Edition, 272 pages
Description
"The acclaimed and beloved author of Hourglass now gives us a new memoir about identity, paternity, and family secrets--a real-time exploration of the staggering discovery she made last year about her father, and her struggle to piece together the hidden the story of her own life"--
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User reviews
LibraryThing member thornton37814
Dani Shapiro took a DNA test. The man she believed to be her biological father was not. She discovered her parents difficult conceiving a child led them to a clinic where her mother was artificially inseminated not with her father's sperm but with that of a young doctor. A first cousin match led to
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the man's identity. Correspondence between Shapiro and her biological father took place. The eventually met. While I enjoyed the DNA story, the publication of the memoir revealing the man's identity appears to be a violation of genetic genealogy ethics, particularly when she continually voiced the man's concern for privacy. I received an advance electronic copy of the book from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. I hope the final version includes her biological father's consent to be named. Show Less
LibraryThing member melsbks
from publisher (Penguin Random House) What makes us who we are? What combination of memory, history, biology, experience, and that ineffable thing called the soul defines us?
In the spring of 2016, through a genealogy website to which she had whimsically submitted her DNA for analysis, Dani Shapiro
Inheritance is a book about secrets–secrets within families, kept out of shame or self-protectiveness; secrets we keep from one another in the name of love. It is the story of a woman’s urgent quest to unlock the story of her own identity, a story that has been scrupulously hidden from her for more than fifty years, years she had spent writing brilliantly, and compulsively, on themes of identity and family history. It is a book about the extraordinary moment we live in–a moment in which science and technology have outpaced not only medical ethics but also the capacities of the human heart to contend with the consequences of what we discover.
In the spring of 2016, through a genealogy website to which she had whimsically submitted her DNA for analysis, Dani Shapiro
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received the stunning news that her father was not her biological father. She woke up one morning and her entire history–the life she had lived–crumbled beneath her.Inheritance is a book about secrets–secrets within families, kept out of shame or self-protectiveness; secrets we keep from one another in the name of love. It is the story of a woman’s urgent quest to unlock the story of her own identity, a story that has been scrupulously hidden from her for more than fifty years, years she had spent writing brilliantly, and compulsively, on themes of identity and family history. It is a book about the extraordinary moment we live in–a moment in which science and technology have outpaced not only medical ethics but also the capacities of the human heart to contend with the consequences of what we discover.
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LibraryThing member HandelmanLibraryTINR
Shapiro writes a memoir about her staggering family secret uncovered by a genealogy test. It is an exploration of the urgent ethical questions surrounding fertility treatments and DNA testing. Inheritance is a book about secrets – secrets within families, kept out of shame or self-protectiveness,
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secrets we keep from one another in the name of love. Dani woke up one morning and her entire history – the life she had lived – crumbled beneath her. The website that analyzes samples from DNA testing kits warns “You may discover things about yourself and/or your family members that may be upsetting”. Spitting into one of those test tubes turned Dani’s entire life upside down. Jennifer Egan, well known author of many best sellers, states “A gripping genetic detective story and a meditation on the meaning of parenthood and family Show Less
LibraryThing member karenvg3
I am not a big fan of non-fiction but I LOVED this. Thank you so much @Liberty for posting about this one awhile ago. I listened to this one on audible and was completely engrossed from the get go. It reads so much like a novel that I forgot it was her actual life story. 4🌟. PS what is going on
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with Litsy? My app has been not working for the past few days Show Less
LibraryThing member brenzi
”What never fail to draw me in, however, are secrets. Secrets within families. Secrets we keep out of shame, or self-protectiveness, or denial. Secrets and their corrosive power. Secrets we keep from one another in the name of love.” (Page 29)
In this age when nobody really has secrets anymore
Dani Shapiro is a writer and a devout Jew, brought up in New Jersey by her Jewish parents in 1962. She had a close, loving relationship with her devout Jewish father who was killed in a car accident when she was in her early twenties. Dani now has a husband and a teenage son of her own and sees her world turned upside down when she submits her DNA sample to Ancestry.com and blithely opens the e mail that contains some shocking results.
This is a gripping memoir from an accomplished writer who is able to convey her feelings of grief, shock, anger, acceptance and love when she finds that her father is not who she believes him to be. But in the end, maybe that isn’t what’s important.
An important read at a time when we’re all very interested to see where we come from and who we’re related to it made me fairly satisfied that I opted to not see my DNA matches or be listed as a match on Ancestry. Very highly recommended.
In this age when nobody really has secrets anymore
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and your life is an open book, where e mails are hacked and stolen and possibly revealed to an exhausted public, where people seem to take pictures of every possible part of their bodies and share them with (supposedly) loved ones only to see them reproduced for that same drained apathetic public, we probably shouldn’t be surprised that something a college student agreed to back in the sixties would come back to haunt him today. Dani Shapiro is a writer and a devout Jew, brought up in New Jersey by her Jewish parents in 1962. She had a close, loving relationship with her devout Jewish father who was killed in a car accident when she was in her early twenties. Dani now has a husband and a teenage son of her own and sees her world turned upside down when she submits her DNA sample to Ancestry.com and blithely opens the e mail that contains some shocking results.
This is a gripping memoir from an accomplished writer who is able to convey her feelings of grief, shock, anger, acceptance and love when she finds that her father is not who she believes him to be. But in the end, maybe that isn’t what’s important.
An important read at a time when we’re all very interested to see where we come from and who we’re related to it made me fairly satisfied that I opted to not see my DNA matches or be listed as a match on Ancestry. Very highly recommended.
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LibraryThing member Beamis12
You're 54 years old, always felt like the odd duck in your Jewish family, blond, blue eyed, pale, but you were not prepared from the results of your genealogical testing. Although you often felt like you didn't belong, you knew who you belonged to, who your parents were, but you never expected what
A rerrifically, honest book about Shapiro's quest to discover her real father. She enters the world of sperm donors, and this strange trip will have a related trajectory to her own life. This is a highly emotional book, a search for self,can search for answers, but the emotional language is handled well. She is a terrific writer. Her Jewish faith, of course as her mother was Jewish she still is as well, but she seeks out rabbis for questioning and enlightenment. Now she is only half of what she was, but what is the on the other half? A genealogical detective story that takes some amazing turns and requires some greater understanding. Would she gain more than she lost?
ARC from Edelweiss.
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came in that little envelope. Your father, not your father, and although goth your parents are no longer alive, your want and need answers. Who are you really, Dani Shapiro?A rerrifically, honest book about Shapiro's quest to discover her real father. She enters the world of sperm donors, and this strange trip will have a related trajectory to her own life. This is a highly emotional book, a search for self,can search for answers, but the emotional language is handled well. She is a terrific writer. Her Jewish faith, of course as her mother was Jewish she still is as well, but she seeks out rabbis for questioning and enlightenment. Now she is only half of what she was, but what is the on the other half? A genealogical detective story that takes some amazing turns and requires some greater understanding. Would she gain more than she lost?
ARC from Edelweiss.
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LibraryThing member N.W.Moors
Inheritance is a memoir written by Dani Shapiro after discovering through a DNA test that the man who raised her was not her biological father. In fact, she discovers she is the result of artificial insemination and her biological father is a man who was a medical student at the time.
Ms. Shapiro
It's an interesting story about a compelling subject.
Ms. Shapiro
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delves into her family relationships, her upbringing as a conservative Jew, and the changes resulting from her discovery. Her view of herself changes drastically as she assimilates this new information. Sometimes her story is hard to read, but it is an absorbing tale of nurture and nature. A few times I felt she was overreacting and a bit too self-absorbed, but by the end, she has managed to look at her parents' struggle with conception more in the context of their times and not as if it was all about her. It's an interesting story about a compelling subject.
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LibraryThing member akblanchard
Author Dani Shapiro has spent her career writing about her fraught relationship with her Orthodox Jewish parents. Imagine her surprise at the age of 54 when she found out--through a home DNA testing kit--that the man she thought was her father bore no biological relationship to her. Shapiro writes
The plot thickens when she manages to track down her biological father down with just a few internet clues. He had been a medical student who thought that his casual sperm donation at a shady clinic would remain forever anonymous. She tries to forge a connection to him and his family, even though he is understandably ambivalent about the prospect.
Despite the narrow focus of this memoir, it is nevertheless well-paced and resonant. It deserves a wide readership.
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about this uncanny experience and what it means to her in her most recent of several memoirs, Inheritance. The plot thickens when she manages to track down her biological father down with just a few internet clues. He had been a medical student who thought that his casual sperm donation at a shady clinic would remain forever anonymous. She tries to forge a connection to him and his family, even though he is understandably ambivalent about the prospect.
Despite the narrow focus of this memoir, it is nevertheless well-paced and resonant. It deserves a wide readership.
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LibraryThing member Loried
Loved it- reads like fiction, and I couldn't put it down. The author has led such an interesting life, and the book has inspired me to read her other books. This one was beautifully written and is very thought-provoking. I highly recommend it, and I think it would provoke wonderful discussions for
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book groups. Show Less
LibraryThing member highlander6022
A very good recap of the author’s experience while trying to determine her biological heritage. I think it contains some wisdom that those on all sides of the donor scenario should think about prior to pursuing that route.
For the donor, I don’t believe there is any such thing as anonymity,
For potential parents that do use donor semen, there is the decision to make as to whether to inform your child(ren) of your decision or not, and how and when if you do. But there can be some heavy emotions that could result from that as well.
These are very serious issues to be thought through prior to going ahead with donor insemination.
My only criticism is that the book could have done without the occasional jabs at Trump. They did not add anything to the author’s story.
For the donor, I don’t believe there is any such thing as anonymity,
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with today’s ability to have DNA testing done. So, the caution there is to know that there may be progeny out there that will seek you out, some to understand their ancestry or for family health history information, but others who may not have your best interests at heart. How you will handle that cannot be known by you unless and until someone contacts you and makes demands for anything beyond what you wish to offer.For potential parents that do use donor semen, there is the decision to make as to whether to inform your child(ren) of your decision or not, and how and when if you do. But there can be some heavy emotions that could result from that as well.
These are very serious issues to be thought through prior to going ahead with donor insemination.
My only criticism is that the book could have done without the occasional jabs at Trump. They did not add anything to the author’s story.
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LibraryThing member Iudita
A memoir from a woman who discovers in mid life that her paternity is different from what she grew up believing and this information sends her life into a bit of a tailspin. This book chronicles her discovery, her quest for the answers she desperately needs and the resolution of the whole
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experience. It's a great choice for someone who loves to read about other people's life journeys or for anyone interested in genealogy. Show Less
LibraryThing member Nancyjcbs
Inheritance was a moving book about a woman's surprising ancestry.com result. Dani Shapiro read the audiobook and I could hear and feel the emotion in her heart.
Dani and her husband take the DNA tests as a fluke since they're so easily available and can be interesting. I also took a DNA test and
I highly recommend this book but especially recommend the audio version.
Dani and her husband take the DNA tests as a fluke since they're so easily available and can be interesting. I also took a DNA test and
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found no surprises but can imagine the pain the unexpected would have caused. At the time of Dani's test she knows fully who she is and what her background is. Descended from Orthodox Jews she was raised fully knowing her family's history. She has a half-sister by her father but is the only child of both her father and mother. Her DNA test result upends that history and sends her on a path of discovery.I highly recommend this book but especially recommend the audio version.
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LibraryThing member kglattstein
Fascinating topic and well written memoir that takes us through an author's journey of dealing with uncovering through a DNA test that her father is not her biological father. Made more intriguing because of Dani Shapiro's past introspections (4 memoirs) into her family life, Dani walks us through
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her journey to understand the religious implication being a child of observant Jews, ethics and in vitro fertilization practices of the 1960s that led to her "creation". Additionally, how this discovery affects her understanding of her childhood and family relationships. Show Less
LibraryThing member Katyefk
Very interesting, true story. My cousin went thru almost the same thing finding her dad. This book is a contribution to everyone who has wondered if they really belong in their family.
LibraryThing member nyiper
This was absolutely fascinating! And to realize how many people are out there who are in the same position the author was---discovering that her biological parent or parents are not the same as the parents who raised her! The fact that she discovered her actual father so quickly was a rather
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extraordinary piece of luck but the best part is the fact that she kept detailed notes about what was happening along the way---resulting in this story. Show Less
LibraryThing member bookczuk
Really fascinating exploration of genealogy, paternity, and family.
LibraryThing member EllenH
Dani's book is interesting to me as a person interested in genealogy. Many surprises possible there and she came upon a shocker. Her discoveries of family, parenthood and identity were so well written. I respect her choice to keep herself open to others seeking biological parents.
LibraryThing member shelleyraec
In the Spring of 2016, fifty-four year old bestselling author and teacher Dani Shapiro, casually agreed to submit her DNA for testing through Ancestry.com, in support of her husband’s new found interest in genealogy. Dani is shocked when the results arrive and she learns that her late beloved
For Dani this is a particularly stunning blow, her identity has always been very closely tied to her paternal Ashkenazi Jew heritage (a subject she has explored extensively in her previous memoirs). As both her parents are deceased, her father as a result of a car accident when Dani was in her early twenties, and her mother in about 2001, Dani can’t ask them to explain.
Inheritance relates Dani’s journey as she pieces together fragments of information to determine why it is that her father is not her biological father, and who it may be. It’s a difficult process, both emotionally, as she struggles to come to terms with all of what she learns, and what it means to her, and practically, given so much time had passed.
I found Dani’s story to be compelling, her situation may not be unique, but her experience is intensely personal, and she is honest about its impact on her. I did find the lack of objectivity frustrating at times, though it’s not my place to judge her particular issues.
A thought provoking and emotional memoir, Inheritance is an interesting exploration of identity, and belonging.
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father, could not possibly have been her biological father.For Dani this is a particularly stunning blow, her identity has always been very closely tied to her paternal Ashkenazi Jew heritage (a subject she has explored extensively in her previous memoirs). As both her parents are deceased, her father as a result of a car accident when Dani was in her early twenties, and her mother in about 2001, Dani can’t ask them to explain.
Inheritance relates Dani’s journey as she pieces together fragments of information to determine why it is that her father is not her biological father, and who it may be. It’s a difficult process, both emotionally, as she struggles to come to terms with all of what she learns, and what it means to her, and practically, given so much time had passed.
I found Dani’s story to be compelling, her situation may not be unique, but her experience is intensely personal, and she is honest about its impact on her. I did find the lack of objectivity frustrating at times, though it’s not my place to judge her particular issues.
A thought provoking and emotional memoir, Inheritance is an interesting exploration of identity, and belonging.
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LibraryThing member Judiex
Dani Shapiro was a writer, journalist, educator, and much more. Married for 20 years with a teenage son, she had grown up in a very Orthodox Jewish home. Her father’s genealogy included famous rabbis and leaders of the Orthodox Jewish communities in the United States and Europe. He had died in an
At age 54, she decided to take a DNA test. The results changed her life. She discovered she was only 52% Jewish. The man she knew as her father was not her biological father. It shook her to her core. She no longer thought she knew who she was.
People she knew when she was growing up, including close friends of her parents, had commented on the fact that with her fair complexion, blue eyes, and light blonde hair she did not look anything like her parents or her half-sister. One man she knew from a class she took loudly insisted she was not Jewish. It bothered her a lot. Looking back, she thought he recognized something she didn’t know. She never asked, “What does a Jew look like?”
With her husband’s encouragement and support, she decided to learn about the circumstances of her birth. Her parents and never talked about it although thinking back she realized her mother had given a couple offhand clues. The obvious reasons were an adulterous affair or artificial insemination, which her father would never have agreed to because it was considered an abomination and he would not have known of his child was Jewish.
INHERITANCE tells a lot about the history of artificial insemination.
Luckily for Shapiro, she didn’t have to spend a long period of time locating a biological relative. And with additional detective work, was able to discover her biological father and the circumstances of her conception. She next wanted to contact him to learn more about him, his background, and his medical history.
INHERITANCE brings up questions which many people may have now that DNA testing is becoming more and more common: Should parents be upfront about the circumstances of the child’s conception? What could happen if you find out your ancestry is not what you always thought? If one of your parents turns out to not be your biological parent, what might happen if you attempt to contact them? How would your family react? Does the donor even know if the procedure was successful? What concerns might a sperm donor have if he thinks the resulting child may try to do so decades after the birth?
It has an interesting story but I found it inconsistent and repetitious in some areas. While she was in a state of shock and confusion after getting the information, she keeps elaborating on it which does explain her mental state, but doesn’t move the story along. She thinks father would not have agreed to artificial insemination because the baby would not be Jewish. As an Orthodox Jew, she should have known that the child’s religion is based on the mother’s religion, not the father’s. When her son was an infant, he almost died from a rare medical condition. While she states that several times, she never identifies the condition. She mentioned being in California and buying index cards twice.
In some ways I can identify with her childhood. I had blue eyes and blonde/light brown hair. My parents and brother had brown hair and brown eyes. I was slender; they were not. People would ask where they got that shiksa. When I was 12 years old I learned I had A- blood; they had A+. But a grandparent on each side also had blue eyes and light hair. I wasn’t adopted and my parents were my biological parents.
Shapiro rates quite a bit about her Orthodox upbringing and her connection to Judaism. She is no longer Orthodox, but doesn’t explain why she changed. She said she kept separate sinks, but served her son’s favorite dinner which included milk and meat.
I’m giving this book only three stars because of the repetition and the chapters are unnecessarily much too short.
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automobile accident when she was in her 20s.At age 54, she decided to take a DNA test. The results changed her life. She discovered she was only 52% Jewish. The man she knew as her father was not her biological father. It shook her to her core. She no longer thought she knew who she was.
People she knew when she was growing up, including close friends of her parents, had commented on the fact that with her fair complexion, blue eyes, and light blonde hair she did not look anything like her parents or her half-sister. One man she knew from a class she took loudly insisted she was not Jewish. It bothered her a lot. Looking back, she thought he recognized something she didn’t know. She never asked, “What does a Jew look like?”
With her husband’s encouragement and support, she decided to learn about the circumstances of her birth. Her parents and never talked about it although thinking back she realized her mother had given a couple offhand clues. The obvious reasons were an adulterous affair or artificial insemination, which her father would never have agreed to because it was considered an abomination and he would not have known of his child was Jewish.
INHERITANCE tells a lot about the history of artificial insemination.
Luckily for Shapiro, she didn’t have to spend a long period of time locating a biological relative. And with additional detective work, was able to discover her biological father and the circumstances of her conception. She next wanted to contact him to learn more about him, his background, and his medical history.
INHERITANCE brings up questions which many people may have now that DNA testing is becoming more and more common: Should parents be upfront about the circumstances of the child’s conception? What could happen if you find out your ancestry is not what you always thought? If one of your parents turns out to not be your biological parent, what might happen if you attempt to contact them? How would your family react? Does the donor even know if the procedure was successful? What concerns might a sperm donor have if he thinks the resulting child may try to do so decades after the birth?
It has an interesting story but I found it inconsistent and repetitious in some areas. While she was in a state of shock and confusion after getting the information, she keeps elaborating on it which does explain her mental state, but doesn’t move the story along. She thinks father would not have agreed to artificial insemination because the baby would not be Jewish. As an Orthodox Jew, she should have known that the child’s religion is based on the mother’s religion, not the father’s. When her son was an infant, he almost died from a rare medical condition. While she states that several times, she never identifies the condition. She mentioned being in California and buying index cards twice.
In some ways I can identify with her childhood. I had blue eyes and blonde/light brown hair. My parents and brother had brown hair and brown eyes. I was slender; they were not. People would ask where they got that shiksa. When I was 12 years old I learned I had A- blood; they had A+. But a grandparent on each side also had blue eyes and light hair. I wasn’t adopted and my parents were my biological parents.
Shapiro rates quite a bit about her Orthodox upbringing and her connection to Judaism. She is no longer Orthodox, but doesn’t explain why she changed. She said she kept separate sinks, but served her son’s favorite dinner which included milk and meat.
I’m giving this book only three stars because of the repetition and the chapters are unnecessarily much too short.
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LibraryThing member tangledthread
This memoir of the year in the life of the author when through an online genetic test, she learned at age 54 that the father she grew up with was not her biological father. The news was devastating because she had a close relationship with her father who died when she was in her early 20's, the
With the scant information available and online resources she was able to deduce who the likely sperm donor was. The writing catalogues her feelings, the conversations she had with rabbi's, an aunt who is in her 90's, and reflections on childhood experiences that had stayed with her and are now viewed in a different light.
It's interesting and ironic to think that once what was thought to able to concealed (anonymous donors) is now revealed through hobby ancestry genetic testing. Beware of family secrets! The author is able to come to resolution by the end of the book, and that's all I'll reveal.
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familial side of the family was steeped in Jewish ancestry, and her mother had questionable parenting skills.With the scant information available and online resources she was able to deduce who the likely sperm donor was. The writing catalogues her feelings, the conversations she had with rabbi's, an aunt who is in her 90's, and reflections on childhood experiences that had stayed with her and are now viewed in a different light.
It's interesting and ironic to think that once what was thought to able to concealed (anonymous donors) is now revealed through hobby ancestry genetic testing. Beware of family secrets! The author is able to come to resolution by the end of the book, and that's all I'll reveal.
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LibraryThing member devilish2
An intelligent, deeply introspective look at what it means to find out your father is not actually your father, what it means to who you are, what you hold true about yourself and your wider beliefs.
LibraryThing member streamsong
Dani Shapiro had been told her whole life that she didn’t look Jewish. The blond blue-eyed girl certainly didn’t look like other members of her family. Nevertheless, her mother insisted that of course there were blond Jews – and that “We hit the jackpot with this one!”
So when Shapiro
There was a biological cousin identified on the DNA site. With intense sleuthing, Shapiro ferreted out her bio father; a doctor, who while attending med school had donated sperm several times.
Shapiro’s biological mother apparently suffered from mental illness, which Shapiro shared in previous memoirs. Because of this illness, Shapiro strongly identified with her father – and it rocked her to her core to discover that the person she loved and identified with was not her 'true' father.
I thought the writing interesting and compelling. The author did address issues of morality, privacy and responsibility in an industry that had no regulation at the time she was conceived.
But, although I believe her when she says her world was shattered by her discovery, I can’t quite connect with her angst over ‘suddenly discovering she is someone else’. For better or worse, I believe my own identity depends on what I have created with my life choices and relationships I have. It was interesting to read another point of view.
So when Shapiro
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casually took a DNA test, she was stunned to learn the results: her father was not her biological father. Slowly she solved the puzzle. Her parents, now both deceased, had indeed struggled with infertility and had attended an infertility clinic where the husband’s sperm was mixed with donor sperm and the mixture used to impregnate her mother.There was a biological cousin identified on the DNA site. With intense sleuthing, Shapiro ferreted out her bio father; a doctor, who while attending med school had donated sperm several times.
Shapiro’s biological mother apparently suffered from mental illness, which Shapiro shared in previous memoirs. Because of this illness, Shapiro strongly identified with her father – and it rocked her to her core to discover that the person she loved and identified with was not her 'true' father.
I thought the writing interesting and compelling. The author did address issues of morality, privacy and responsibility in an industry that had no regulation at the time she was conceived.
But, although I believe her when she says her world was shattered by her discovery, I can’t quite connect with her angst over ‘suddenly discovering she is someone else’. For better or worse, I believe my own identity depends on what I have created with my life choices and relationships I have. It was interesting to read another point of view.
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LibraryThing member amandanan
I can't even imagine my whole world and what I know about myself being blown apart by spitting in a tube. Shapiro is a magnificent writer.
LibraryThing member LyndaInOregon
When author Dani Shapiro casually took a DNA test, she never expected to discover that the man she had known as her father wasn't her biological father at all. The discovery set in motion a search not only for her biological father but through the entire landscape of sperm donation, assisted
From a childhood obsession with not belonging, to casual remarks about not “looking Jewish”, to a dimly-remembered maternal statement about her conception, Shapiro began digging into family history in an attempt to discover who, in fact, she was.
The book works on a couple of levels. On the personal level is Shapiro’s individual story as she utilizes modern search techniques to uncover the history of the vaguely referenced “Institute” where her parents sought help for their infertility. And on a bigger scale, she looks at the ethical implications of sperm (and egg) donations and what it means both to the children so conceived and to the biological parents – whether the act they performed through altruism or for money was thought out; whether the notion that they in fact might have multiple biological children whom they would never know was actually internalized.
There are a lot of interesting questions posed here, many of which have no real answer. One thing Shapiro never does is to compare the psychological issues of donor-conceived children to those of children adopted as infants. Similarly, the drive of infertile couples to create a family unit by any means necessary gets short shrift in what at times is a distressingly self-centered narrative.
Another is the question of where Shapiro’s obsession came from – even after she identified (and ultimately met with) her biological family, she continued compulsively to worry at the moral implications of assisted conception within Jewish religious strictures, and to dig into the industry of assisted conception. In one nearly-surreal chapter, she discusses visiting a facility with a six-story silo filled by thousands of vials of frozen sperm, proudly managed by a reproduction specialist whose name indicates he, too, was Jewish – but apparently unconcerned about the moral dilemma with which Shapiro continued to struggle.
And under it all, as she continues to dig into her own family history, one cannot shake the notion that at least half of Shapiro’s crusade is somehow based on obtaining an ultimate gotcha! aimed at her late mother, with whom Shapiro continued to have unresolved conflicts.
Inheritance is a fascinating read, particularly when it tackles the medical / ethical questions which will inevitably grow ever more thorny as our capacity to mechanically “improve” (or interfere with) natural biological functions outpaces our ability to adjust to the “brave new world” we are creating.
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conception, medical ethics, self-awareness, and parental responsibility.From a childhood obsession with not belonging, to casual remarks about not “looking Jewish”, to a dimly-remembered maternal statement about her conception, Shapiro began digging into family history in an attempt to discover who, in fact, she was.
The book works on a couple of levels. On the personal level is Shapiro’s individual story as she utilizes modern search techniques to uncover the history of the vaguely referenced “Institute” where her parents sought help for their infertility. And on a bigger scale, she looks at the ethical implications of sperm (and egg) donations and what it means both to the children so conceived and to the biological parents – whether the act they performed through altruism or for money was thought out; whether the notion that they in fact might have multiple biological children whom they would never know was actually internalized.
There are a lot of interesting questions posed here, many of which have no real answer. One thing Shapiro never does is to compare the psychological issues of donor-conceived children to those of children adopted as infants. Similarly, the drive of infertile couples to create a family unit by any means necessary gets short shrift in what at times is a distressingly self-centered narrative.
Another is the question of where Shapiro’s obsession came from – even after she identified (and ultimately met with) her biological family, she continued compulsively to worry at the moral implications of assisted conception within Jewish religious strictures, and to dig into the industry of assisted conception. In one nearly-surreal chapter, she discusses visiting a facility with a six-story silo filled by thousands of vials of frozen sperm, proudly managed by a reproduction specialist whose name indicates he, too, was Jewish – but apparently unconcerned about the moral dilemma with which Shapiro continued to struggle.
And under it all, as she continues to dig into her own family history, one cannot shake the notion that at least half of Shapiro’s crusade is somehow based on obtaining an ultimate gotcha! aimed at her late mother, with whom Shapiro continued to have unresolved conflicts.
Inheritance is a fascinating read, particularly when it tackles the medical / ethical questions which will inevitably grow ever more thorny as our capacity to mechanically “improve” (or interfere with) natural biological functions outpaces our ability to adjust to the “brave new world” we are creating.
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LibraryThing member CarrieWuj
This memoir would make equally compelling fiction - the story is so amazing and unbelievable, that it's hard to remember it really happened. Dani Shapiro's writing is lyrical and lovely and does justice to a really difficult time in her life with brutal honesty. After off-handedly doing a DNA test
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in 2016, Shapiro learns that her father (now deceased) was not her real father. "It continued to seem oddly possible to go on living my life as if nothing had happened. Nothing had, in fact, happened. It had been uncovered, but it wasn't new. It had always been the case. My father had never been my father....I was not who I thought I had been. But I was who I had always been." (78) This is a land-mine in her otherwise "orderly" world and forces her to confront her identity and long-standing feelings of "otherness" growing up blue-eyed blonde in a Orthodox Jewish family. It also forced her to examine her loving relationship with her father and difficult one with her mother. Shapiro's mother is also deceased, so finding "truth" presents a challenge and becomes a heroic quest. Another unbelievable occurrence: she is able to find her biological father thanks to our digital/social media age and her husband Michael's journalistic skills. What she learns is that he was a sperm donor and given the early days of artificial insemination when she was conceived, there was little regulation, awareness, or intention. She recounts all this with beautiful reflection, excellent research, snippets of Jewish faith and tradition, poetry, and actual documents from her search and outreach with the (Ben) Walden family. This is a tale of courage, strength, love, and understanding. Show Less
Awards
National Jewish Book Award (Winner — 2019)
Wingate Literary Prize (Shortlist — 2020)
New England Book Award (Finalist — 2019)
Language
Original language
English
Original publication date
2019-01-15
Physical description
272 p.; 8.6 inches
ISBN
1524732710 / 9781524732714