Status
Available
Collection
Publication
Crown (2015), Edition: Illustrated, 320 pages
Description
"Habits are the invisible architecture of our lives. Rubin provides an analytical and scientific framework from which to understand these habits--as well as change them for good. Infused with her compelling voice and funny stories, she illustrates the core principles of habit formation with dozens of strategies that she uses herself and tests out on others. Rubin provides tools to help readers better understand themselves, and presents a clear, practical menu of strategies so readers can take an individualized approach. She tackles each strategy herself and in doing so shows us the importance of knowing ourselves and our own habit tendencies. Armed with self-knowledge, we can pursue habits in ways that will truly work for us, not against us. Going to the gym can be as easy, effortless, and automatic as putting on a seatbelt. We can file expense reports, take time for fun, or pass up that piece of carrot cake without having to decide. With a foundation of good habits, we can build a life that reflects our values and goals"--… (more)
User reviews
LibraryThing member Alice210
Some interesting material squeezed in among too many self-congratulatory anecdotes in which the author bullies her family into accepting her personal values. I should have put the book down at the first instance of her referring to herself in the third person ("Rule: Be the best Gretchen you can
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be"), a dead giveaway that this was going to be more fluff than a scholarly work (e.g. Duhigg's "The Power of Habit") and less entertaining than a memoir. I had planned to read "The Happiness Project" before I saw this book and picked it up instead, but now I'm not going to bother. Show Less
LibraryThing member bell7
Gretchen Rubin, perhaps best known for her book The Happiness Project tackles habits. She won't tell you which to choose or which to drop, but gives you a host of ideas of how to make the habits you want that fit with your values using what she terms the Four Tendencies. Are you an Upholder (the
It was a fairly interesting book, and it was interesting to read about Rubin's own family and her pursuit of habits and being "better than before" in her own life. The beginning on Self Knowledge dragged out a little for me, as I was much more interested in reading about the actually techniques and examples of putting them into practice. I started out thinking I am an Upholder and have changed my mind to Questioner, as I realized that only after I had a reason to make a habit would I bother to keep it. I also tend to prefer books like The Power of Habit that have scientific studies laid out and don't necessarily lay out several different strategies for me, myself. And as I went along, I realized there are very few habits that I currently want to change. Still, I enjoyed it and have recommended it to a couple of people I thought would enjoy the "make it work for you" personal approach.
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real habit junkies, keeping internal and external expectations), a Questioner (good at keeping habits when there's a good reason), Obliger (better at following other people's expectations than your own internal ones) or Rebel (doesn't like schedules or to be held to a particular way of doing things)? Once you know yourself, Rubin posits, you can change your habits.It was a fairly interesting book, and it was interesting to read about Rubin's own family and her pursuit of habits and being "better than before" in her own life. The beginning on Self Knowledge dragged out a little for me, as I was much more interested in reading about the actually techniques and examples of putting them into practice. I started out thinking I am an Upholder and have changed my mind to Questioner, as I realized that only after I had a reason to make a habit would I bother to keep it. I also tend to prefer books like The Power of Habit that have scientific studies laid out and don't necessarily lay out several different strategies for me, myself. And as I went along, I realized there are very few habits that I currently want to change. Still, I enjoyed it and have recommended it to a couple of people I thought would enjoy the "make it work for you" personal approach.
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LibraryThing member Writermala
What I like about Gretchen Rubin's books is that she writes like she would speak. I find that she addresses even the most complicated Psycho-social concepts in such a simple fashion, and often touched with humor, that I can grasp the idea. I never feel threatened by what she is saying and I feel
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confident that I too can benefit by the ideas mentioned in the book.Here she talks about the different types of people and how they should approach changing their habits or making new habits. I'm sure that anyone reading the book and practicing will be "Better than Before." It is best to purchase your own copy since you may want to highlight several lines. Show Less
LibraryThing member rglossne
Here's what I learned:
I'm an Upholder and an Abstainer, just like Rubin.
I should probably be eating lo-carb.
It would be great to have a treadmill desk.
Rubin's well researched and readable book delves into habits, which underpin so much of our days. Worth reading, like her previous 'The Happiness
I'm an Upholder and an Abstainer, just like Rubin.
I should probably be eating lo-carb.
It would be great to have a treadmill desk.
Rubin's well researched and readable book delves into habits, which underpin so much of our days. Worth reading, like her previous 'The Happiness
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Project,' for its insights into how we can improve the quality of our days. Show Less
LibraryThing member nancyewhite
I found two things in this book to be useful in trying to establish new and healthier habits. They are:
1. I am a person who does best with external accountability and validation. Even the reward and goal system of an app works better than attempting to change using sheer will.
2. Put your new
I found the author's voice to be too smug and self-satisfied to entirely enjoy. There is also the question of her unacknowledged privilege - gym memberships and treadmill work stations are not available to everyone.
Still, finding out which type of personality you are in relation to life changes can be very helpful as it was for me.
1. I am a person who does best with external accountability and validation. Even the reward and goal system of an app works better than attempting to change using sheer will.
2. Put your new
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habits into a calendar. For example, actually schedule time for meditation. Then you get reminders and have a visual of the habit you are trying to establish.I found the author's voice to be too smug and self-satisfied to entirely enjoy. There is also the question of her unacknowledged privilege - gym memberships and treadmill work stations are not available to everyone.
Still, finding out which type of personality you are in relation to life changes can be very helpful as it was for me.
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LibraryThing member Daniel.Estes
Loved the beginning. And then just when I thought the rest of the book would start repeating itself, I was pulled in by the author's obsession with the ins and outs of why habits work. Gretchen Rubin is fiercely determined to life-hack her way to humanity 2.0, but rather than dismiss her unsettled
A couple of thoughts that occurred to me while reading:
- Gretchen must be aware of how extraordinarily fortunate she is to have both the flexibility and the financial resources necessary to pursue mastery of her habits. This isn't an excuse for the rest of us to slack off, but surely she must know that the majority of her readers, even those with a comfortable middle class lifestyle, have to juggle career and family and personal fulfillment within a stark range of inflexible constraints.
- According to the tendency categories from early on in the book, I am undoubtedly a Questioner. That said, I question her seemingly blind devotion to the habit over what quality improvement it's supposed to aid. Exercise is an excellent example. As a lifelong acquirer and reformer of habits I'm extra sensitive to the trap of going through the motions. With exercise it's easy to do a lot while accomplishing very little. (And sometimes very little could be something unwelcome like repetitive strain injury.) Proper exercise needs to be focused, frequently varied, and never overdone, otherwise its value goes way down. Coincidentally, I was forming this thought when I read this line from Gretchen, "The fact that I can easily read magazines while I exercise may suggest that I'm not exercising very hard—and I'm not. But at least I'm showing up." Gretchen, I know from the rest of the book that you're better than that. Maybe it's my Questioner tendency speaking through, but habits need to produce qualitative outcomes. Otherwise they should be banished or reformed.
As a final note, be on the lookout for her "Secrets of Adulthood" scattered throughout the book. They are like little Easter Eggs of wisdom.
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quirkiness, which is my knee-jerk reaction in cases like this, I was instead charmed by her efforts.A couple of thoughts that occurred to me while reading:
- Gretchen must be aware of how extraordinarily fortunate she is to have both the flexibility and the financial resources necessary to pursue mastery of her habits. This isn't an excuse for the rest of us to slack off, but surely she must know that the majority of her readers, even those with a comfortable middle class lifestyle, have to juggle career and family and personal fulfillment within a stark range of inflexible constraints.
- According to the tendency categories from early on in the book, I am undoubtedly a Questioner. That said, I question her seemingly blind devotion to the habit over what quality improvement it's supposed to aid. Exercise is an excellent example. As a lifelong acquirer and reformer of habits I'm extra sensitive to the trap of going through the motions. With exercise it's easy to do a lot while accomplishing very little. (And sometimes very little could be something unwelcome like repetitive strain injury.) Proper exercise needs to be focused, frequently varied, and never overdone, otherwise its value goes way down. Coincidentally, I was forming this thought when I read this line from Gretchen, "The fact that I can easily read magazines while I exercise may suggest that I'm not exercising very hard—and I'm not. But at least I'm showing up." Gretchen, I know from the rest of the book that you're better than that. Maybe it's my Questioner tendency speaking through, but habits need to produce qualitative outcomes. Otherwise they should be banished or reformed.
As a final note, be on the lookout for her "Secrets of Adulthood" scattered throughout the book. They are like little Easter Eggs of wisdom.
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LibraryThing member deldevries
I wasn't sure about this at first. But the audio version read by author Gretchen Rubin is a very personal walk through habits in our life. I have the impression that the author has extensively researched her topic; both in terms of reading literature and in "tinkering" with herself and her friends
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habits. Sometimes it is nice to hit the pause button in reading and think about yourself - this book helps do that in a very pleasant way. Show Less
LibraryThing member Sovranty
Gretchen Rubin attempts to explain different personality types and the plans of action best suited for each, even though she contradicts this plan by stating everyone is an individual and must do what works for them. Panning more towards the individuality than the four personality types she's
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developed, she marries the actions with the types with only a sentence or two. It should have been my cue that little learning would be achieved with this book when Rubin realized that not everyone was like her and thus various methods for adapting habits were needed. Show Less
LibraryThing member aine.fin
Very enjoyable with a lot to absorb. Very readable in its own right but I think that may make it hard to put all the information into practice - I am going to reread and focus on the content of each chapter one by one. Bullet point summaries or action plans for each section.
LibraryThing member Amniot
I thought I might find this book somewhat repetitive, having already read her previous book, "The Happiness Project." But this book breaks new ground and is loaded with insights. Everyone will take what they need from it - she provides many, many suggestions and ways to approach making and breaking
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good and bad habits (mostly with a focus on making good new ones). Not everything will resonate with everyone, but everyone should find something to inspire them here. Of course, only those who are really eager to change are likely to pick it up. Probably this is not a great book to give as a gift unless you are absolutely certain it will be welcome. Also - an index would be a great addition. The author uses a lot of terms and categories (Upholder, Finisher, etc.) and it would be helpful to be able to review what they all mean and also jump to the ones that apply to oneself. Show Less
LibraryThing member pgchuis
Based on the idea that we no longer have to think about and persuade ourselves to do (or not do) things that have become habitual, this book considers how and why different personality types adhere to habits. It discusses how to create habits (small steps or suddenly) and looks at ways we
I was impressed with the emphasis on how different we all are - we don't all have the same goals, we can't all rely on the same strategies to keep going etc. I mostly warmed to the author and her personal anecdotes (I wonder if we are in fact twins separated at birth - I find myself also to be an Upholder/Lark etc), although I'd like to point out that I don't share her eating preferences!
Helpful and inspiring - let's see if I can go ahead and create the habits I have identified....
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self-sabotage ("I'll start exercising when I am less busy", "I ate one slice of cake so I might as well have another" etc.)I was impressed with the emphasis on how different we all are - we don't all have the same goals, we can't all rely on the same strategies to keep going etc. I mostly warmed to the author and her personal anecdotes (I wonder if we are in fact twins separated at birth - I find myself also to be an Upholder/Lark etc), although I'd like to point out that I don't share her eating preferences!
Helpful and inspiring - let's see if I can go ahead and create the habits I have identified....
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LibraryThing member whybehave2002
Fantastic! In fact I listened to this in my car and ended up cycling through it three times greening more information each time. Loved it!
LibraryThing member Karen59
Better than Before is an accessible and easy-to-read book about how to support good habits and break bad ones. Like her previous books, Gretchen Rubin knows how to break down information into readable and simple steps to encourage readers to achieve their goals. I found her framework of the four
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types of personalities regarding change-making to be very useful. I had a very satisfying "aha" moment where I realized why, given my particular personality, it was sometimes hard for me to make change and that if I use different incentive strategies I could be more successful. She encourages us to examine who we are, our motives, our strengths and challenges so we can tailor strategies to help us "master the habits of our everyday lives." Ms. Rubin's strong personality comes through the pages. She seems driven and generous. She sometimes does not seem to know how privileged she is and how that impacts her ability to accomplish her goals. During my reading I thought about the Stages of Change Theory by Prochaska and DiClemente. This rubric allows an individual to assess where they are in their desire to make change and then matches interventions to that stage. Some of us are thinking about making change and some of us may be ready. It helps you weigh the cost and benefits of change, of which there are many, and this would be an excellent addition to Ms. Rubin's book. It is an exciting time in understanding how and why people make change and Ms. Rubin's book is a welcome addition. Thank you NetGalley for allowing me the opportunity to review this book. Show Less
LibraryThing member GirlWellRead
A special thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I liked this book much better than her other two books. My problem with Gretchen Rubin is that she constantly reminds us that she has a blog, and mentions her husband and children way too much. There are so many good
At times I found her preachy. She certainly doesn't do herself any favours when she recounts conversations that she has with people as she sounds completely righteous.
Like I said there were a lot of good takeaways from the book - I wish she had of expanded upon those and done away with all of the personal fluff.
I liked this book much better than her other two books. My problem with Gretchen Rubin is that she constantly reminds us that she has a blog, and mentions her husband and children way too much. There are so many good
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nuggets in the book that she could flesh out, she doesn't need to consistently tell us about her privileged lifestyle, her blog, Jamie, Eleanor and Eliza. At times I found her preachy. She certainly doesn't do herself any favours when she recounts conversations that she has with people as she sounds completely righteous.
Like I said there were a lot of good takeaways from the book - I wish she had of expanded upon those and done away with all of the personal fluff.
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LibraryThing member ajlewis2
I read about 15% but did not find anything helpful. There was a listing of many categories of behavior and discovering which categories you fell into was to be used to help form habits. I had hoped that this book might build on The Power of Habit by Duhigg, but it did not seem to be going in that
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direction, so I quit reading. Show Less
LibraryThing member libraryhead
Good stuff here, but starting to get repetitive if you've read The Four Tendencies or listened to the podcast.
LibraryThing member dmturner
Chatty, sensible, readable discussion of all the ways to develop (or sabotage) habits. The author's voice and personality come through loud and clear, and I found myself occasionally sorry for her friends and family who are the recipients of her candid, forthright advice. She occasionally questions
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her right to suggest things, but rarely lets that stop her from doing it. I enjoyed the book. Show Less
LibraryThing member spinsterrevival
I have to start by saying that I do like Gretchen Rubin, but this book needs a trigger warning for people with food and eating disorders; I also feel as though there’s a lot of fat phobia. She begins the book by saying that she’s not going to define any habits here as the reader should choose
I think Rubin needed someone as a test case who is the opposite of her. She’s such a perfectionist Upholder that it didn’t sound like she had any problems at all maintaining her habits, and unfortunately she comes off as sanctimonious. Then she gets so hyped up to want to help (change) others that I’m surprised she hasn’t lost some friends and acquaintances. Also, I read The Four Tendencies a few years ago, and this book is definitely just a warm up to that as you can tell that it was the book she really wanted to write once she had the chance.
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some for themselves to work on, but I’d say that the vast majority of “bad” habits she talks about have to do with food and weight and what’s “healthy.” I got massively turned off by all of it, even though in general her research is interesting with a lot making sense.I think Rubin needed someone as a test case who is the opposite of her. She’s such a perfectionist Upholder that it didn’t sound like she had any problems at all maintaining her habits, and unfortunately she comes off as sanctimonious. Then she gets so hyped up to want to help (change) others that I’m surprised she hasn’t lost some friends and acquaintances. Also, I read The Four Tendencies a few years ago, and this book is definitely just a warm up to that as you can tell that it was the book she really wanted to write once she had the chance.
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LibraryThing member japaul22
Most of you will realize that this isn't my typical sort of book. It's a self-help book about using habits to build a better life. The author starts by categorizing people into four broad categories: upholder (follows through with both inner and outer expectations), obliger (follows outer
I read this because one of my friends whose thoughts and intelligence I absolutely trust has been raving about the author - her books and her podcasts - for over a year to me. We've been talking a lot at work about good leadership and she thinks that understanding these different personality traits really helps her leadership of a varied group of people.
I get it and I did think there were some interesting suggestions in this book, but overall I was really, really annoyed by the author's tone. I suspect she was trying to use self-deprecating humor sometimes, but she came off as very smug. And the whole book was based around her life as an upholder set up vs. "the others". As if she was doing it all right and everyone else should aim to be like her. So annoying.
And then there was the troubling fact that she and I have almost the same habits and tendencies which made me wonder if everyone I know thinks I'm as annoying as she was to me!
So, I don't know, it came highly recommended but I can't think of anyone here who would really like it.
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expectations but has trouble with inner expectations), questioner (obvious), and rebel (obvious). I read this because one of my friends whose thoughts and intelligence I absolutely trust has been raving about the author - her books and her podcasts - for over a year to me. We've been talking a lot at work about good leadership and she thinks that understanding these different personality traits really helps her leadership of a varied group of people.
I get it and I did think there were some interesting suggestions in this book, but overall I was really, really annoyed by the author's tone. I suspect she was trying to use self-deprecating humor sometimes, but she came off as very smug. And the whole book was based around her life as an upholder set up vs. "the others". As if she was doing it all right and everyone else should aim to be like her. So annoying.
And then there was the troubling fact that she and I have almost the same habits and tendencies which made me wonder if everyone I know thinks I'm as annoying as she was to me!
So, I don't know, it came highly recommended but I can't think of anyone here who would really like it.
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LibraryThing member ms_rowse
Don't let the fact that I took two months to read this book make you think it's slow or not worthwhile. It took me that long because, much like "Daring Greatly," some of the truth bombs took me time to process. But I had to finish it today because I was out of renewals from the library, so I dug in
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and read the last 75 pages. This book is life changing. I have pages of notes so I can still go back and reference the pieces that made me evaluate how I spend my time and live my life. Must read. Show Less
LibraryThing member Leann
Loved this book! It was very practical and insightful for me throughout. Gretchen Rubin has a very personable writing style and she is very thorough in her research and explanation of each point. I would definitely read something else by her gladly!
LibraryThing member bucketofrhymes
Thanks to Goodreads and the publisher for a free copy! This is a really interesting look at habits — breaking them, forming them, running into pitfalls on the way.
Here's the thing: I was a psych major in university. And because of that, I enjoyed the sections that were backed up by psychological
And this book was a great reminder that while I know a decent amount about human psychology, I'll be darned, I couldn't apply it to my own life and write regularly. This book is great at helping with that — at turning the theoretical into actions.
I was less interested in the sections that dealt with a departure from established, researched concepts (like some of her classifications, or the diet thing). There's no reason why some of the classifications she uses to categorize people couldn't be right. And I get her point: she is the most important data point in her own life, so if something doesn't work for the majority of the population but works for her... then the important thing is that it works for her, and there's no reason for her to stop doing it.
But I like my claims backed up with citations. So, when she had none... that ruined the credibility of the book a little for me.
Still, this isn't a psych textbook. This is a self-help book. And it conveys a lot of useful information about habits to the reader in a friendly and approachable way. I could see this being a fantastic source of help and motivation for a lot of people.
Here's the thing: I was a psych major in university. And because of that, I enjoyed the sections that were backed up by psychological
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research (like the issue of rewarding one's self, and how in studies, kids who are rewarded for colouring will colour for shorter amounts of time and put less effort into it). It's stuff I remember from psych 101 and social psych, and it's pretty cool to see it applied to forming and breaking habits.And this book was a great reminder that while I know a decent amount about human psychology, I'll be darned, I couldn't apply it to my own life and write regularly. This book is great at helping with that — at turning the theoretical into actions.
I was less interested in the sections that dealt with a departure from established, researched concepts (like some of her classifications, or the diet thing). There's no reason why some of the classifications she uses to categorize people couldn't be right. And I get her point: she is the most important data point in her own life, so if something doesn't work for the majority of the population but works for her... then the important thing is that it works for her, and there's no reason for her to stop doing it.
But I like my claims backed up with citations. So, when she had none... that ruined the credibility of the book a little for me.
Still, this isn't a psych textbook. This is a self-help book. And it conveys a lot of useful information about habits to the reader in a friendly and approachable way. I could see this being a fantastic source of help and motivation for a lot of people.
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LibraryThing member doehlberg63
I have decided that anything Gretchen Rubin writes is going to be great. The first book I read, "The Four Tendencies,"describes four distinct categories of people and how they react in certain situations. This book is a continuation of that, but based on who you are and how you react, it delves
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more deeply into discovering the ways to make positive change in your life by rewarding yourself in a way that works. I really enjoyed this book. There is so much to digest that it is really hard to try to read this in one sitting. I look forward to even more books by Gretchen. She has such a huge understanding on the types of people that I had never seen discussed elsewhere. Show Less
Language
Original language
English
Original publication date
2015
Physical description
320 p.; 7.96 inches
ISBN
0385348630 / 9780385348638