Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis.

by Eric Berne

Paperback, 1996

Status

Available

Collection

Publication

Ballantine Books (1996), 216 pages

Description

Psychology. Nonfiction. HTML: Dr. Eric Berne's classic study of the games underlying all our social interactions, from power games at the office to competitive games with friends..

Media reviews

National Housewives Register Newsletter
Psychology with wit ... Perhaps should be discussed only by groups confident in their insight and friendship.

User reviews

LibraryThing member Fluffyblue
Either I wasn't 'in the right place' to read this or I just didn't get it. Either way it's one of the only books I have abandoned without finishing. I'm not saying I didn't agree with the concept of his theories, they just bored me to tears.
LibraryThing member Tobias.Bruell
What I believe the text is the authors attempt to press the (important and apt) observations that he made into a uniform structure (what he calls GAMES). Unfortunately, I did not find this structure to be appropriate for the subject at hand.

The first part makes an overly elaborate distinction
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between RITUALS/PROCESSES, PASTIMES, and GAMES, the difference mainly being that GAMES have an obliterate quality, while the others are in a sense honest. While this part contains some gems, I did not understand why this distinction (in this length) is valuable.

The second part (which I only read half) describes several specific GAMES. Some of these descriptions are really interesting. Many are just boring and can hardly be understood.

Maybe more specificity would not have been amiss; I often was not able to understand the underlying observations of the author from the generalized GAME description.

I also perceived it as a problem that the names of certain GAMES are often used before they are explained; and not all names are self-explanatory.
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LibraryThing member jpsnow
While the concept was new to me and moderately interesting, other factors got in the way. Most notably, the examples in this book are extremely dated. The underlying principles are rooted in Freudian psychology. Anything other than heterosexual orientation is treated as aberrant. Many of the
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classifications of games presume dated male and female roles within households. The “games” classify relationship patterns and interactions into a series of types that at once seem potentially useful and still simplistic.
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LibraryThing member Ravens_Bookshelf
Eric Berne begins by providing his analysis of "games", and the roles that we play in them. Berne describe how our character in social interaction is actually learned. He then sets forth that we mainly interact on one of three levels: child, adult or parent. He further states that the most
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meaningful transactions occur when we relate adult to adult, and that all other transactions are somehow either a game or simply unproductive.

In the following chapters, Berne distinguishes between pastimes and games. Pastimes are models of socialization that we use in social settings. Pastimes include such models as "what ever happened to", in which people ask about other people who they may know, or "General Motors", in which people compare their cars. Berne then progresses onto Games, which he describes as "an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well-defined, predictable outcome." Berne suggests that it is human nature to use games as a means towards social interaction, but the problem arises when people use the games to an ulterior motive that is intentionally, though sometimes unconsciously, an unproductive payoff for either one or all parties involved. A typical games for example is "if it weren't for you" in which one party blames the other party for a life less satisfying.

This book is written in a clear and straight forward style, making it easy to understand. The examples and concepts are common enough for everyone to see and recognize themselves and others in the games that people play. You do not need to be a psychology major to understand this book. Undoubtedly, this book is useful in demystifying some of the mystery that is human behavior.
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LibraryThing member nikon
Hey! Even if you only read the introduction of this book it will change the way you meet and greet someone in the street. Read the rest of it and... and you'll begin to see, hear and watch other people (and yourself) playing all these silly, annoying and sometimes amusing games. The great thing
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about this book is it teaches you how the games start and most important of all how to opt out.
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LibraryThing member soylentgreen23
As a book, or as a piece of writing, Berne's effort falls between two stools - it isn't as detailed as a serious student would want it to be, and it isn't as light-hearted or accessible as the layman sometimes would need it to be.

However, the ideas contained in this slim volume are rather
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extraordinary, and anyone interested in true self-discovery will appreciate what's on offer.
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LibraryThing member aannttiiiittnnaa
Enlightening easy read, on the beginning of a complex subject. Shines a light on all those social niceties, pointless interactions and the roles played by each person in their daily script. Combines the psychological insights with the added bonus of incidental humor.
Whilst reading through this on
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the train, I could identify what games were going on around me, most amusing.
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LibraryThing member JNagarya
Wnat to know why the constant efforts by current "journalists" to get public figures to say something that can be sensationalized is called "Gotcha!"? This book will explain it. And -- yes -- behind it is nastiness.
LibraryThing member fuzzydeadthing
A must read for anyone who has ever come away from a conversation feeling ill at ease but not quite sure why. This book has colored many of my social interactions, giving insight and technique to my responses in difficult and sometimes confusing relationships. It's scientific, well articulated, and
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yet easily understandable by any layman. I don't own a lot of physical books, since it would be a hardship on my frequent moving, but this is one book I refuse to do without. Perhaps the most useful and enlightening book on psychology I have ever read.
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LibraryThing member woollymammoth
The book that started off transactional analysis. Very interesting and a 'must read' for pretty much everyone.
LibraryThing member June6Bug
Interesting take on human interactional patterns; would be most comprehensible to the reader who has a background in transactional analysis.
LibraryThing member lewisvickers
I recommend reading this book, or one on the same topic, as an essential read for understanding the way people behave. This book was written in 1964, which lends itself to using older terminology, but the concepts presented are indispensable for personal psychological self-development and
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interacting with others.

Dr. Berne explains the transactional games that are most often played by people. In doing so, he also presents an important aspect of our self-concept, that is, when communicating with others, we do so from the perspective of one of three stances: the Parent, the Adult, or the Child. The best stance to use is Adult to Adult communication, which is rational, self-aware, and living in the present; though Child to Child has it benefits as well, for example, playfulness.

Basic transactions are direct/upfront and generally Adult to Adult. Pastime transactions are not as direct and played for fun. Game transactions are played with an ulterior motive and are almost anything but Adult to Adult.

Games are learned during childhood, and as such have basic motives. People carry their childhood games into adulthood not even aware that they are playing games and then unknowingly pass the games to the next generation. Games can be harmless as long as both parties are willing participants, but games only tend to continue undealt with physiological, emotional, or physical issues from the past. Once a person becomes aware of games they are playing, they can deal with the root issue, do away with the games, and live a more enjoyable fruitful life.
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LibraryThing member Michael.Rimmer
I'm not sure how I feel about this book. There is some comfort in being handed a template of how to evaluate people's hidden motives, but it seems too amenable to becoming a stereotyping instrument. "Here's the diagnosis; here's how you 'cure' this person". I feel that I'd possibly have a more
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nuanced understanding if I'd read more of Berne's underlying theory, but this treatment of his concept of Game Analysis is presented as allowing its stand-alone use as a therapeutic tool. I think I'd want more from a transactional analyst than that they'd read this one book.

I also found his attitudes towards gender roles almost excruciatingly archaic, with several implications of victim blaming for rape and domestic violence. Well, I suppose it was written in 1964 by a middle-aged white man living in the USA, but still...

I'm studying Rogers' person-centered approach to counselling, so I guess that Berne's diagnostic/directive approach doesn't sit too well with me at this stage of my education. Nevertheless, I found much of interest and did enjoy reading the book, those cringe-making moments aside. (It looks like I do know how I feel about it after all. )
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LibraryThing member JBarringer
The writing in this book is very weak, the examples and anecdotes are not very useful, and the book overall is too vague to be very useful.
LibraryThing member madepercy
I first read this book in about 2003. It was suggested to me by a woman with big hair who was making comments about other women with big hair. Bizarre! But I didn't see that game in Berne's work. As I began reading, I was struck by the 1960s tone. It was like watching the scene in Mad Men where Don
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Draper is discussing Betty's "psychological" problems with her psychiatrist, and the husband has more control over the process than the wife. Issues of American middle-class culture in the '60s emerge from time to time, and I wondered how such a book would fare today! It would be a candidate for the game of "Outrage" no less! But this time, I tried to comprehend the transactional analysis process by writing it down and going over the basis premises of games, and the social versus psychological roles of Parent, Adult, and Child, and how transgressions of social and psychological roles can lead to various games and situations. There is an emphasis on the results of group therapy and the therapist's observations of games, and it is clear that one is glimpsing the developmental stages of the profession of psychology (not so much psychiatry) as we know it today. Berne's work is based on his earlier publication, Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy, and while it is suitable for a well-read general audience, the psychology professional is clearly in mind. I daresay the analyses and types of games have developed significantly since the book was written, but it is rather helpful in recognising different types of "games people play", even if all one can do is identify and then avoid such games. There are elements of Berne's idea of games that resonate with game theory in political science, albeit with less rigour in identifying the inherent biases. Nonetheless, it must be acknowledged that the behavioural revolution in political science was only beginning at this same time, and no doubt Berne was at the forefront of this revolution that continues to influence the social sciences.
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LibraryThing member DrT
Games People Play by Eric Berne, M.D.

Why I picked up this book: I just read I’m OK You’re OK by Thomas Harris, M.D. which was based on Berne’s Transactional Analysis or T.A. I have never red any T.A. material. I learned Berne wrote this stuff and wanted to learn more.

This books gets into the
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three, Parent, Adult and Child perspectives. It covers many examples people play in work, love, sex, and friendships. This book talks about the many ways that we habitually relate to one another through “games.” The version I read was from 1969 and quickly saw it had dated things.

Why I finished this book: this was an interesting read and there is more I’d like to read on it.

Rating: I’d give it a 4 out of 5 star rating because it had some good ideas and others I did not like too much so I’d rate it as I did.
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LibraryThing member aeceyton
one of my formative books

Language

Original language

English

Original publication date

1964

Physical description

216 p.; 8.16 inches

ISBN

9780345410030
Page: 0.9592 seconds