The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

by Harriet Lerner

Paperback, 1990

Status

Available

Publication

Harper Perennial (1997), Edition: First Edition first Printing, 255 pages

Description

In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged by distance, intensity, or pain she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.

User reviews

LibraryThing member rayski

Discusses relationship, the roles people take within them, triangles and the importance of maintaining one’s self. Talks about ‘over-functioning and under-functioning people and how their roles effect 1-2-1 relationships and impacts on triangles. You can get lots out of this book to help you

deal with relationships whether it be with family, friends or partners.

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LibraryThing member tjsjohanna

The most interesting aspect of this book for me was how relationships in one's first family impact the relationships one has now (marriage, children, friendships, etc). It got me thinking about my childhood experiences and how they impact what I'm willing to risk now.

LibraryThing member SonoranDreamer

All relationship involves a given level of anxiety. Often we manage the anxiety either through over-functioning and pursuing or through under-functioning and distancing. Both actions are reactive to the anxiety in the relationship, rather than self-defining, and undermine our attempts to understand

who we and the other person actually are. We can't change other people, but we can set boundaries and limits as to how much negative behavior we will tolerate as well as minimums concerning intimacy. Often we create emotional triangles (family systems theory) with third parties in order to avoid facing the anxiety. It is better to have separate relationships with individuals rather than to get caught up in triangles.

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