Status
Checked out
Due 21 Apr 2024
Collection
Publication
Bantam (2023), Edition: 1, 416 pages
Description
"It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother's coffin as the world watched in sorrow--and horror. As Diana, Princess of Wales, was laid to rest, billions wondered what the princes must be thinking and feeling--and how their lives would play out from that point on. For Harry, this is that story at last. With its raw, unflinching honesty, Spare is a landmark publication full of insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom about the eternal power of love over grief"--
User reviews
LibraryThing member zhoud2005
The book just shows how pathetic this guy is. I'm properly disgusted by this book, the tediousness, the non-stop complaining and whining, the usage of "mommy" in every single chapter of the book. Grow the f*ck up, Prince Harry.
LibraryThing member jmchshannon
Spare by Prince Harry is quite the story. If anything, it forever tarnished my opinion of royalty, a reaction that I suspect Harry wants. I have even more sympathy for him and everything he went through after his mother’s death and at the hands of his family. While I believe Harry shared WAY more
Spare reads like a therapy exercise where you are to write a letter to whoever hurt you, confronting them about how they made you feel and why. The trick here is that you never send the letter; the therapy resides in the unburdening of yourself. Except, Harry forgot that part and sent it to the public. His story contains too many intimate and unnecessary details about his past. I am still scratching my head, trying to figure out why he needed to include them since most of these details don’t pertain to his mental health or character. They don’t add anything other than a bit of scandal to a book deemed scandalous before he even wrote the first word.
Harry often talks about how he recognizes how privileged his life is. I do believe he is genuine about that sentiment. However, I do not think he knows the full extent of his privilege. In many passages, Harry is describing something that makes him out to be a regular guy, and he says something so matter-of-factly that it takes you a moment to realize that what he is describing is not how other people live. Want to take a skiing vacation? Go to Pakistan like Harry and his girlfriend! Need to get away from your work stress? Hop on a plane and fly down to Botswana! Want to try something different? Try going to not just the North but also the South Pole! Need a place to crash while in the US? Just go on over to Courtney Cox’s house! It is all so ludicrous that all you can do is laugh. Americans hardly take vacations, let alone fly to remote parts of the world, not just because we tend to be xenophobic but also because we can’t afford to do that. He talks about what would be grand adventures for us as if they were nothing more than another Saturday at the park. It’s ridiculous.
There is no doubt that Harry has severe PTSD. Throughout Spare, what struck me the most was not how his mother’s death impacted him but rather how being the second son affected his life. In listening to him narrate, I don’t know if he realizes how much he suffered because of that one detail. We all have issues with our siblings, but to be repeatedly told or shown that you don’t matter because you are not the heir is cruelty personified. That it was considered a typical outlook for the entire family and their staff speaks volumes about their dysfunctionality.
I finished Spare appreciating the courage it took for Harry to write and publish his most intimate thoughts. I already was a massive fan of his after the actions he took to protect Meghan and his son, but Spare made me understand even more just how high the stakes were. Harry may share too much personal information when airing his dirty laundry. Still, he definitely shines a spotlight on the garbage that is the Windsor family and their courtiers.
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than he should, I admire him for speaking out about the shitshow that is the British press’s relationship with the monarchy and the dangerous impact it had on his wife and him.Spare reads like a therapy exercise where you are to write a letter to whoever hurt you, confronting them about how they made you feel and why. The trick here is that you never send the letter; the therapy resides in the unburdening of yourself. Except, Harry forgot that part and sent it to the public. His story contains too many intimate and unnecessary details about his past. I am still scratching my head, trying to figure out why he needed to include them since most of these details don’t pertain to his mental health or character. They don’t add anything other than a bit of scandal to a book deemed scandalous before he even wrote the first word.
Harry often talks about how he recognizes how privileged his life is. I do believe he is genuine about that sentiment. However, I do not think he knows the full extent of his privilege. In many passages, Harry is describing something that makes him out to be a regular guy, and he says something so matter-of-factly that it takes you a moment to realize that what he is describing is not how other people live. Want to take a skiing vacation? Go to Pakistan like Harry and his girlfriend! Need to get away from your work stress? Hop on a plane and fly down to Botswana! Want to try something different? Try going to not just the North but also the South Pole! Need a place to crash while in the US? Just go on over to Courtney Cox’s house! It is all so ludicrous that all you can do is laugh. Americans hardly take vacations, let alone fly to remote parts of the world, not just because we tend to be xenophobic but also because we can’t afford to do that. He talks about what would be grand adventures for us as if they were nothing more than another Saturday at the park. It’s ridiculous.
There is no doubt that Harry has severe PTSD. Throughout Spare, what struck me the most was not how his mother’s death impacted him but rather how being the second son affected his life. In listening to him narrate, I don’t know if he realizes how much he suffered because of that one detail. We all have issues with our siblings, but to be repeatedly told or shown that you don’t matter because you are not the heir is cruelty personified. That it was considered a typical outlook for the entire family and their staff speaks volumes about their dysfunctionality.
I finished Spare appreciating the courage it took for Harry to write and publish his most intimate thoughts. I already was a massive fan of his after the actions he took to protect Meghan and his son, but Spare made me understand even more just how high the stakes were. Harry may share too much personal information when airing his dirty laundry. Still, he definitely shines a spotlight on the garbage that is the Windsor family and their courtiers.
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LibraryThing member Cariola
People seem to either love or hate the British royal family. I'm somewhere in the middle. On one hand, it's hard to relate to those living such a privileged life; on the other, it's hard not to empathize with the lack of privacy and affection and not having the right to lead one's own path. The
If you can get past the money, the fame, and the perks and put yourself in Harry's shoes, you might just find yourself on his side. Think how it would feel to have every move you make broadcast, dissected and distorted by the press. Think how it would feel to be in love, to have to ask your family (including the queen) if your loved one was sufficiently acceptable, and to have every aspect of your wedding dictated by "the rules," down to whether you can keep your beard or your bride can wear a veil. Think how it would feel to have your phone tapped and your private conversations turned into salacious sound bites, or to know that a family member was leaking details about your personal life to the press. I'm very glad that I'm not in those royal shoes.
The main criticism of Harry's book seems to be that he is "disloyal" to the family in telling his side of the story. If you think that keeping a stiff upper lip and bending to all of the petty rules, even when they are destroying you and the ones you love most, is what "loyalty" means, well, don't read this book. It's pretty sad to think that the US provided a haven for Harry and his young family. We have our gossip rags here, but the American press is far less relentless in pursuing celebrities like prey, and apparently our laws offer better protection against tabloid lies. Harry says many times in the book and in the interviews he has given that he felt it was important to speak his truth and stop playing the impossible role that his birth determined for him. I think that's rather brave, and while there is undoubtedly a bit of exaggeration (probably due to the level of hurt and disappointment he experienced), for the most part, it is, indeed, his truth. You may not like it, you may not want to believe it all, but there it is.
I enjoyed listening to the book on audio and learned a good deal about the inner workings of the monarchy and the enormous control it exerts over its members.
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rigid rules of being a royal and the control exerted by "the courtiers" would be hard for anyone to live with. We heard plenty about "the grey men" from Harry's mother Diana, and many of the same complaints arise in his memoir. And, of course, both suffered the relentless pursuit of the paparazzi, whom many, including Harry, blame for is mother's death. Even more than Camilla or the grey men, the press and the paparazzi are the prime villains in his story.If you can get past the money, the fame, and the perks and put yourself in Harry's shoes, you might just find yourself on his side. Think how it would feel to have every move you make broadcast, dissected and distorted by the press. Think how it would feel to be in love, to have to ask your family (including the queen) if your loved one was sufficiently acceptable, and to have every aspect of your wedding dictated by "the rules," down to whether you can keep your beard or your bride can wear a veil. Think how it would feel to have your phone tapped and your private conversations turned into salacious sound bites, or to know that a family member was leaking details about your personal life to the press. I'm very glad that I'm not in those royal shoes.
The main criticism of Harry's book seems to be that he is "disloyal" to the family in telling his side of the story. If you think that keeping a stiff upper lip and bending to all of the petty rules, even when they are destroying you and the ones you love most, is what "loyalty" means, well, don't read this book. It's pretty sad to think that the US provided a haven for Harry and his young family. We have our gossip rags here, but the American press is far less relentless in pursuing celebrities like prey, and apparently our laws offer better protection against tabloid lies. Harry says many times in the book and in the interviews he has given that he felt it was important to speak his truth and stop playing the impossible role that his birth determined for him. I think that's rather brave, and while there is undoubtedly a bit of exaggeration (probably due to the level of hurt and disappointment he experienced), for the most part, it is, indeed, his truth. You may not like it, you may not want to believe it all, but there it is.
I enjoyed listening to the book on audio and learned a good deal about the inner workings of the monarchy and the enormous control it exerts over its members.
Show Less
LibraryThing member ASKelmore
Best for:
Those interested in a very different perspective on not just the British royal family overall, but how life in it has impacted Prince Harry and his family.
In a nutshell:
Member of the British Royal family, second child to Princess Diana and Prince Charles (hence ‘spare’,) provide
Worth quoting:
I mean, there’s a lot here, but everyone’s focused on him talking about his frost-nipped todger.
Why I chose it:
I live in the UK but am from the US. I think people are disgusting when it comes to Meghan Markle. I also watched their Netflix documentary and found them to be sweet people who clearly care deeply for each other.
What it left me feeling:
Annoyance (at the press)
Review:
Look, lets be clear: Prince Harry is not anti-monarchy. This book is not here to bring down his father, or The Crown, or anything like that. He barely even acknowledges the colonialism that underpins all things British and led to him having the role he had until he was kicked out (though he does acknowledge it, along with the financial costs and potential benefits to taxpayers). And obviously, in general, he has a privilege and has led a life that very, very few people could ever have. If one only has energy to hear one story about someone to gain a sense of life on earth, this is not it.
But there’s something else here. I’ve seen plenty of headlines of news articles and reviews saying ‘poor little rich boy,’ telling him he needs therapy, not a memoir, but kudos to the ghostwriter, because Prince Harry sounds like someone who has done a lot of work to process a lot of trauma and a lot of just … weird life experiences that make it challenging to live in the ‘real world,’ especially when all of the financial and security support that made his life function has been pulled away. I don’t always agree with what he has done (and neither does he), and I can’t take all of this as gospel truth, but it definitely paints a vivid picture.
The book is broken up into small chapters across three parts - childhood, military and beyond, and Meghan. The childhood section obviously talks about his mother’s death and the anger he felt over the press’s role in that (which they still vehemently deny, but come on). But it also talks about how stories about him as a teen ended up covered in the press. The example that stuck out to me was how he broke his thumb playing rugby, and the papers covered it like he was deeply, seriously injured and was staying in hospital. The take-away I have is that most of what they print is utter bullshit, but even when there is a hint of truth, the media elaborate and make up something much more sensational.
Prince Harry talks about times when he was wrong, like the choice to wear the Nazi costume, or when he referred to a friend using an ethnic slur. I tend to believe he was uneducated and ignorant about the impact, but the sense I get - and obviously its his version, so grain of salt - is that he is someone who learns from his mistakes. He seems to genuinely want to be better, and is constantly trying to get there. He’s obviously got areas where he probably will always be unreachable (abolition of the monarchy, for example), but I believe there is some thought there.
The second part focuses heavily on his experience in the military. I saw some headlines from ‘military experts’ saying that he shouldn’t have spoken the way he did, but I think he provided both a glimpse into war, and also an idea of what war can be like for members of the military. It wasn’t glamorized in my view, though I don’t think there was enough discussion of the harms to the civilians. I do think he recognizes the harm it causes those who fight, and he has suffered from PTSD from it, and seeks to help others (via the Invictus Games).
Part three is probably what most people are interested in - his courtship of and marriage to Meghan Markle. There’s not a ton of new things there if you watched the Netflix documentary, in terms of their interpersonal relationship.
But the theme through all of this, as I note at the top, is the British press. Writing articles about any children, regardless of who their parents are, seems pretty gross, frankly. And his family’s unwillingness to refute anything having to do with him (though they will refute things having to do with his brother and sister-in-law, and his father) does make it look like he was set up to be the fall guy and / or distraction for the rest of the family. His father comes out looking much better than I expected; Prince William and Princess Kate, however, do not. Part of the issues between them and Meghan are, I believe, cultural (US vs UK), but it’s really gross how instead of William and Kate viewing it as tomato / tomahto, they seem to view it as wrong vs right. Like, it’s not crass, or vulgar, or too familiar, to hug one’s sister-in-law. And also, one should respect boundaries. If by default, one person hugs, it’s okay to say hey, I don’t hug. But it’s not okay to say AND ANYONE WHO HUGS EVER IS A PIECE OF TRASH. And that’s how I think the family treated any conflict or disagreement with Meghan’s world view.
Prince Harry talks a lot of about the British press stoking the racism and hatred of Meghan, and that’s just … undeniable. It’s literally true. I mean, in December a man who I will not name (though I did file a complaint against, along with 20,000 other people) wrote an unforgivable piece that was actually published in the Scum where he talked about how he hated Meghan ‘at a cellular level’ and he was excited for her to get the Cercei treatment (but actually spelling it out). What has she done wrong? She was an actress, she’s and activist, and she married a guy. Like, everyone needs to calm down. Its just … it’s f*ck*ng weird.
Anyway, I found the book to be insightful, and I think it’s worth a read if you’re curious.
Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Recommend to a Friend
Those interested in a very different perspective on not just the British royal family overall, but how life in it has impacted Prince Harry and his family.
In a nutshell:
Member of the British Royal family, second child to Princess Diana and Prince Charles (hence ‘spare’,) provide
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insight into his childhood, young adulthood, and adulthood, focusing often on the machinations of the British press (and his family’s complicity).Worth quoting:
I mean, there’s a lot here, but everyone’s focused on him talking about his frost-nipped todger.
Why I chose it:
I live in the UK but am from the US. I think people are disgusting when it comes to Meghan Markle. I also watched their Netflix documentary and found them to be sweet people who clearly care deeply for each other.
What it left me feeling:
Annoyance (at the press)
Review:
Look, lets be clear: Prince Harry is not anti-monarchy. This book is not here to bring down his father, or The Crown, or anything like that. He barely even acknowledges the colonialism that underpins all things British and led to him having the role he had until he was kicked out (though he does acknowledge it, along with the financial costs and potential benefits to taxpayers). And obviously, in general, he has a privilege and has led a life that very, very few people could ever have. If one only has energy to hear one story about someone to gain a sense of life on earth, this is not it.
But there’s something else here. I’ve seen plenty of headlines of news articles and reviews saying ‘poor little rich boy,’ telling him he needs therapy, not a memoir, but kudos to the ghostwriter, because Prince Harry sounds like someone who has done a lot of work to process a lot of trauma and a lot of just … weird life experiences that make it challenging to live in the ‘real world,’ especially when all of the financial and security support that made his life function has been pulled away. I don’t always agree with what he has done (and neither does he), and I can’t take all of this as gospel truth, but it definitely paints a vivid picture.
The book is broken up into small chapters across three parts - childhood, military and beyond, and Meghan. The childhood section obviously talks about his mother’s death and the anger he felt over the press’s role in that (which they still vehemently deny, but come on). But it also talks about how stories about him as a teen ended up covered in the press. The example that stuck out to me was how he broke his thumb playing rugby, and the papers covered it like he was deeply, seriously injured and was staying in hospital. The take-away I have is that most of what they print is utter bullshit, but even when there is a hint of truth, the media elaborate and make up something much more sensational.
Prince Harry talks about times when he was wrong, like the choice to wear the Nazi costume, or when he referred to a friend using an ethnic slur. I tend to believe he was uneducated and ignorant about the impact, but the sense I get - and obviously its his version, so grain of salt - is that he is someone who learns from his mistakes. He seems to genuinely want to be better, and is constantly trying to get there. He’s obviously got areas where he probably will always be unreachable (abolition of the monarchy, for example), but I believe there is some thought there.
The second part focuses heavily on his experience in the military. I saw some headlines from ‘military experts’ saying that he shouldn’t have spoken the way he did, but I think he provided both a glimpse into war, and also an idea of what war can be like for members of the military. It wasn’t glamorized in my view, though I don’t think there was enough discussion of the harms to the civilians. I do think he recognizes the harm it causes those who fight, and he has suffered from PTSD from it, and seeks to help others (via the Invictus Games).
Part three is probably what most people are interested in - his courtship of and marriage to Meghan Markle. There’s not a ton of new things there if you watched the Netflix documentary, in terms of their interpersonal relationship.
But the theme through all of this, as I note at the top, is the British press. Writing articles about any children, regardless of who their parents are, seems pretty gross, frankly. And his family’s unwillingness to refute anything having to do with him (though they will refute things having to do with his brother and sister-in-law, and his father) does make it look like he was set up to be the fall guy and / or distraction for the rest of the family. His father comes out looking much better than I expected; Prince William and Princess Kate, however, do not. Part of the issues between them and Meghan are, I believe, cultural (US vs UK), but it’s really gross how instead of William and Kate viewing it as tomato / tomahto, they seem to view it as wrong vs right. Like, it’s not crass, or vulgar, or too familiar, to hug one’s sister-in-law. And also, one should respect boundaries. If by default, one person hugs, it’s okay to say hey, I don’t hug. But it’s not okay to say AND ANYONE WHO HUGS EVER IS A PIECE OF TRASH. And that’s how I think the family treated any conflict or disagreement with Meghan’s world view.
Prince Harry talks a lot of about the British press stoking the racism and hatred of Meghan, and that’s just … undeniable. It’s literally true. I mean, in December a man who I will not name (though I did file a complaint against, along with 20,000 other people) wrote an unforgivable piece that was actually published in the Scum where he talked about how he hated Meghan ‘at a cellular level’ and he was excited for her to get the Cercei treatment (but actually spelling it out). What has she done wrong? She was an actress, she’s and activist, and she married a guy. Like, everyone needs to calm down. Its just … it’s f*ck*ng weird.
Anyway, I found the book to be insightful, and I think it’s worth a read if you’re curious.
Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Recommend to a Friend
Show Less
LibraryThing member LisCarey
This is not really an easy book to review. It's controversial for obvious reasons; there's been much public controversy around Harry and Meghan, and those who aren't for them, are sometimes quite vitriolic. Even those who aren't vitriolic tend to treat all criticisms and condemnations of the pair
Reading about Harry's school years, I wondered whether he'd ever been tested for neurodivergence or other things that might be called "learning disorders." Stupid people don't become very good military pilots. People who have developmental issues that make learning from books and lectures difficult potentially can. But of course the answer is that he wouldn't have been tested. In the rigid and outdated worldview of the Royal Family and those who surround them, a diagnosed neurodivergence or learning disability would have been viewed as far worse than merely being "not the smart one." Particularly since he was not the heir, but just the spare.
Some stories that have been cited as clear evidence of Will and Harry being treated differently have been dismissed as "William's going to be king someday; Harry isn't." In many cases that's valid. The chances of the second son ever being king were always low, and they dropped lower, not just when William actually got married, but when he was nearing adulthood, alive and healthy. They were being prepared for different lives. Some differences were not just appropriate, but necessary.
But some of them were just differences that said to two young children that one of them didn't matter.
Yet the real problem may have been the way they were treated "the same," when that was for looks rather than what was good for the two of them. Eton wasn't academically a good fit for Harry, and William was at the age where you don't want to be embarrassed by your younger sibling. Yet it was judged essential for both boys to go to Eton--where William told Harry they officially didn't know each other, Harry struggled academically, and Harry acted out in, actually fairly normal, rule-breaking and pranks, that the son of the Prince of Wales couldn't get caught in.
Harry doesn't so much talk about his mother's death, but his blocking out the grief he's afraid to experience by convincing himself it's all an elaborate trick, his Mummy disappearing to escape the way the media treated her. He held on to this idea, and didn't confront and process his grief, until a visit to Paris as an adult, when he went to the tunnel where she had her fatal accident.
It's after Eton that we start to see the nearly adult Harry, as he takes a gap year, originally on a cattle ranch (station?) in Australia. It's a good experience for him, doing hard, physical work every day, regular chores, eating with the family, and not being in the public eye.
Until the paparazzi find him, and create not just distraction, but potential danger for the ranch and the cattle with their happy disregard for anything except getting the pictures they wanted. Harry has to leave, and instead goes to Africa--where he makes connections that became very important to him in the years to come.
In the following years, he enlists in the army, starts training as a pilot, has his first serious girlfriends--relationships that end, when the women find they, and their families, can't endure the paparazzi whose constant pursuit that Harry already hates. And no, it's not okay because he's a royal. It's utterly nonsensical to say on the one hand that he has no reason to complain about anything because he's so privileged, and on the other hand he's so low in the line of succession that he's a nobody who shouldn't expect anything at all, including being able to serve in a combat zone as a regular soldier, without becoming an additional threat to his fellow soldiers because of the mindless pursuit of the media.
He becomes a very good pilot, and is deployed to Afghanistan, where he does very well as an FAC--a Forward Air Commander--until, of course, the media catch up with him.
He gets pulled out, of course, and it takes him quite a long time to jump through all the hoops needed to get back there (while not being able to do anything else worthwhile in the meantime). He manages it eventually, and is again doing very well there, when a media party comes through, and he's ordered to cooperate with them. They promise to keep his location secret, and they of course don't, and he's pulled out again, and it's the end of his military career.
It's late in the book that he meets Meghan Markle, and this of course is wildly controversial the moment it becomes public knowledge.
No, Meghan wasn't treated just like Kate, or Camilla, or even Diana. There's too much to say, so I'll limit myself to just pointing out that none of the others were featured in a photoshopped picture, walking with William or Charles, holding hands with a toddler chimpanzee. That was vile, that was inexcusable, and anyone who claims not to believe that Meghan was at one point suicidal in the face of the viciousness and malevolence of the coverage she was subjected to, was, to be charitable, not paying attention.
But also, anyone who thinks Harry was ever happy as part of the Royal Family "firm," wasn't paying attention, either. Nor was the reason for his unhappiness that he was "lazy." It's one thing to say he was born into the job, but you're allowed to quit jobs, even the family business.
Harry has a great deal to say about his own mistakes, his sometimes questionable behavior (which, depending on your views, may include his use of marijuana and sometimes hallucinogenic mushrooms), and his mental health struggles.
There's also a fair amount about what look like very odd family dynamics. For me, this includes the fact that William and Charles call Harry--whose given name is Henry--"Harold." Why? Harry never says or says anything to suggest he thinks it's odd. Which suggests there might be a reason he got that nickname, and I went to Google...
All I found was a suggestion that it's because William the Conqueror was the first King William of England, and he became King of England by defeating and killing Harold Godwinson (Harold II of England).
If that's true, it's beyond odd. It's downright unhealthy. But it's only a story on the internet, without great sourcing. I wouldn't even consider it, if I had found anything else at all. Yet the sourcing remains so vague that still I can only roll my eyes at it.
If anyone reading this has a better explanation, I want to hear it. Really. Please give me something more plausible if you can.
We do follow Harry and Meghan through their courtship and marriage, with all the weirdness of what's okay for them to do and what isn't, and the media's vicious descent on Meghan. The book ends with them living in the US, and the birth of their second child, Lilibet. Harry certainly doesn't make it sound as if they will ever move back to the UK, which will outrage all the same people who hate them.
This is an insightful and moving book. Harry has given a lot of thought to things, and is open and vulnerable, and well worth reading.
I bought this book.
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as being true because after all, it's Harry and Meghan, and obviously it's them, not Will & Kate, the officially charming heir and wife, now officially Prince and Princess of Wales. And anything that's bad for Harry, well, he should be used to it because royalty, Will's the heir, Harry's the spare, so obviously if he's unhappy he's just resenting his place in the family. Or Meghan is pushing him to, despite the fact that he was obviously unhappy with both the public role and extreme limitations on what he could do. Not a desire to go out clubbing more; a desire to do things he was actually good at--like being a soldier.Reading about Harry's school years, I wondered whether he'd ever been tested for neurodivergence or other things that might be called "learning disorders." Stupid people don't become very good military pilots. People who have developmental issues that make learning from books and lectures difficult potentially can. But of course the answer is that he wouldn't have been tested. In the rigid and outdated worldview of the Royal Family and those who surround them, a diagnosed neurodivergence or learning disability would have been viewed as far worse than merely being "not the smart one." Particularly since he was not the heir, but just the spare.
Some stories that have been cited as clear evidence of Will and Harry being treated differently have been dismissed as "William's going to be king someday; Harry isn't." In many cases that's valid. The chances of the second son ever being king were always low, and they dropped lower, not just when William actually got married, but when he was nearing adulthood, alive and healthy. They were being prepared for different lives. Some differences were not just appropriate, but necessary.
But some of them were just differences that said to two young children that one of them didn't matter.
Yet the real problem may have been the way they were treated "the same," when that was for looks rather than what was good for the two of them. Eton wasn't academically a good fit for Harry, and William was at the age where you don't want to be embarrassed by your younger sibling. Yet it was judged essential for both boys to go to Eton--where William told Harry they officially didn't know each other, Harry struggled academically, and Harry acted out in, actually fairly normal, rule-breaking and pranks, that the son of the Prince of Wales couldn't get caught in.
Harry doesn't so much talk about his mother's death, but his blocking out the grief he's afraid to experience by convincing himself it's all an elaborate trick, his Mummy disappearing to escape the way the media treated her. He held on to this idea, and didn't confront and process his grief, until a visit to Paris as an adult, when he went to the tunnel where she had her fatal accident.
It's after Eton that we start to see the nearly adult Harry, as he takes a gap year, originally on a cattle ranch (station?) in Australia. It's a good experience for him, doing hard, physical work every day, regular chores, eating with the family, and not being in the public eye.
Until the paparazzi find him, and create not just distraction, but potential danger for the ranch and the cattle with their happy disregard for anything except getting the pictures they wanted. Harry has to leave, and instead goes to Africa--where he makes connections that became very important to him in the years to come.
In the following years, he enlists in the army, starts training as a pilot, has his first serious girlfriends--relationships that end, when the women find they, and their families, can't endure the paparazzi whose constant pursuit that Harry already hates. And no, it's not okay because he's a royal. It's utterly nonsensical to say on the one hand that he has no reason to complain about anything because he's so privileged, and on the other hand he's so low in the line of succession that he's a nobody who shouldn't expect anything at all, including being able to serve in a combat zone as a regular soldier, without becoming an additional threat to his fellow soldiers because of the mindless pursuit of the media.
He becomes a very good pilot, and is deployed to Afghanistan, where he does very well as an FAC--a Forward Air Commander--until, of course, the media catch up with him.
He gets pulled out, of course, and it takes him quite a long time to jump through all the hoops needed to get back there (while not being able to do anything else worthwhile in the meantime). He manages it eventually, and is again doing very well there, when a media party comes through, and he's ordered to cooperate with them. They promise to keep his location secret, and they of course don't, and he's pulled out again, and it's the end of his military career.
It's late in the book that he meets Meghan Markle, and this of course is wildly controversial the moment it becomes public knowledge.
No, Meghan wasn't treated just like Kate, or Camilla, or even Diana. There's too much to say, so I'll limit myself to just pointing out that none of the others were featured in a photoshopped picture, walking with William or Charles, holding hands with a toddler chimpanzee. That was vile, that was inexcusable, and anyone who claims not to believe that Meghan was at one point suicidal in the face of the viciousness and malevolence of the coverage she was subjected to, was, to be charitable, not paying attention.
But also, anyone who thinks Harry was ever happy as part of the Royal Family "firm," wasn't paying attention, either. Nor was the reason for his unhappiness that he was "lazy." It's one thing to say he was born into the job, but you're allowed to quit jobs, even the family business.
Harry has a great deal to say about his own mistakes, his sometimes questionable behavior (which, depending on your views, may include his use of marijuana and sometimes hallucinogenic mushrooms), and his mental health struggles.
There's also a fair amount about what look like very odd family dynamics. For me, this includes the fact that William and Charles call Harry--whose given name is Henry--"Harold." Why? Harry never says or says anything to suggest he thinks it's odd. Which suggests there might be a reason he got that nickname, and I went to Google...
All I found was a suggestion that it's because William the Conqueror was the first King William of England, and he became King of England by defeating and killing Harold Godwinson (Harold II of England).
If that's true, it's beyond odd. It's downright unhealthy. But it's only a story on the internet, without great sourcing. I wouldn't even consider it, if I had found anything else at all. Yet the sourcing remains so vague that still I can only roll my eyes at it.
If anyone reading this has a better explanation, I want to hear it. Really. Please give me something more plausible if you can.
We do follow Harry and Meghan through their courtship and marriage, with all the weirdness of what's okay for them to do and what isn't, and the media's vicious descent on Meghan. The book ends with them living in the US, and the birth of their second child, Lilibet. Harry certainly doesn't make it sound as if they will ever move back to the UK, which will outrage all the same people who hate them.
This is an insightful and moving book. Harry has given a lot of thought to things, and is open and vulnerable, and well worth reading.
I bought this book.
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LibraryThing member philae_02
Spare by Prince Harry — there are a lot of different opinions regarding this book and what he had to say. I remember all the media attention he had gotten for writing his autobiography/memoir (both positive and negative) when the book was first released. But most importantly, he shared his
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personal experiences, as he experienced them, and for that I commend him. Show Less
LibraryThing member Daumari
Moved this to the front of my library queue when someone else in my bump group started reading, though she DNF'd because she found the earlier chapters boring. Overall, I liked this, as a voice from within the fishbowl of royalty that doesn't hold to the Firm's typical silence (while fiction, my
Structurally, I appreciate the sections titled after stanzas of Invictus, though the contiguous chapter segments were a choice. I read a physical copy, but I can imagine how the audiobook would be compelling. His reflections on Afghanistan remind me I haven't read as many retrospectives of that era (and I'm sure perspectives will shift as we get further away from it), but he's straightforward on what it meant to be there, engaging with allies and enemies.
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main takeaway from The Crown is that there's an awful lot of wrangling just to have the appearance of no opinion/neutrality), and I'm glad that as spare he can wrench himself away into building his own path while condemning the obsessives that killed his mother and nearly killed his wife. Structurally, I appreciate the sections titled after stanzas of Invictus, though the contiguous chapter segments were a choice. I read a physical copy, but I can imagine how the audiobook would be compelling. His reflections on Afghanistan remind me I haven't read as many retrospectives of that era (and I'm sure perspectives will shift as we get further away from it), but he's straightforward on what it meant to be there, engaging with allies and enemies.
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LibraryThing member AdonisGuilfoyle
I'm not really interested in the royal family but I do believe that more of them should be open about their lives, like Prince Harry, instead of living by the motto 'Don't complain, don't explain'. The muckraking press would have less power, and people would see the royals as human, not saints.
Everyone's guilty for buying the newspapers. But hopefully no one actually believes what's in them. But of course they did. People did believe and that was the whole problem. Britons, among the most literate people on the planet, were also the most credulous.'
I don't read the papers and try to avoid the crazies on social media, but it's hard to avoid the nasty little comments that are still thrown at Meghan, and for one reason only. Perhaps there is a third 'truth' that can only be told by the King and Prince William but because we only ever hear about through the press, we will never know. Harry and Meghan were right to break away from the palace courtiers and the press, which they did with the Queen's permission.
Spare is not an attack against the monarchy, which Prince Harry naturally loves and supports, but with 'the sick relationship which has evolved between [the press] and the Palace'. He goes on at length about the paparazzi who caused his mother's death and went on to harass his girlfriends before targeting Meghan because of her skin colour, and he makes a point - speaking out is not the same as courting the same press he left the country to escape.
I feel sorry for Prince Harry after reading his story. He is a tortured soul who never really grieved or processed his feelings for his mother until he was into his thirties, creating a sort of PTSD which was exacerbated by his time in the armed forces. He doesn't seem to have a lot of confidence in himself and claims his family have never supported him, but I admire his work ethic and his drive to help others, even when suffering panic attacks during public appearances. The royal family are born into their roles and don't really have a choice about what they do or how they act, and Prince Harry is brave for cutting family ties and putting Meghan and his children first.
The whole book is a little long for what is basically a rant about the press and the family business, but well worth reading, especially for those who buy into the garbage created by the press.
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Does he go to far and say too much in his memoirs? Of course, that's what these books are for! Autobiographies are written to either stroke an overinflated ego or wallow in self-pity. But he has the right to talk about his own life, like anyone else, and challenge the lies generated in the tabloid press with his version of the truth:Everyone's guilty for buying the newspapers. But hopefully no one actually believes what's in them. But of course they did. People did believe and that was the whole problem. Britons, among the most literate people on the planet, were also the most credulous.'
I don't read the papers and try to avoid the crazies on social media, but it's hard to avoid the nasty little comments that are still thrown at Meghan, and for one reason only. Perhaps there is a third 'truth' that can only be told by the King and Prince William but because we only ever hear about through the press, we will never know. Harry and Meghan were right to break away from the palace courtiers and the press, which they did with the Queen's permission.
Spare is not an attack against the monarchy, which Prince Harry naturally loves and supports, but with 'the sick relationship which has evolved between [the press] and the Palace'. He goes on at length about the paparazzi who caused his mother's death and went on to harass his girlfriends before targeting Meghan because of her skin colour, and he makes a point - speaking out is not the same as courting the same press he left the country to escape.
I feel sorry for Prince Harry after reading his story. He is a tortured soul who never really grieved or processed his feelings for his mother until he was into his thirties, creating a sort of PTSD which was exacerbated by his time in the armed forces. He doesn't seem to have a lot of confidence in himself and claims his family have never supported him, but I admire his work ethic and his drive to help others, even when suffering panic attacks during public appearances. The royal family are born into their roles and don't really have a choice about what they do or how they act, and Prince Harry is brave for cutting family ties and putting Meghan and his children first.
The whole book is a little long for what is basically a rant about the press and the family business, but well worth reading, especially for those who buy into the garbage created by the press.
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LibraryThing member bookescapest
I found this book interesting in ways that I never expected. I had no idea of the limited control that the monarchy offers the people within the family. To have to schedule times to see people to discuss issues and to have press agents working against each other is so sad. It was also sad to hear
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about all of the jealous and competition that the royal family holds for each other, but it makes sense when you think about it. I also had no idea that King Charles is the one who decides what events you are to attend and how much you are to be seen in public and controls what charities you are able to be part of. I can't blame Harry for wanting more freedom from a life like that. So often, in America, we are told that being a prince or princess is the ultimate life and something to aspire to. This book was a great eye opener of what a gilded cage it is. Whether you like HRH Harry or Megan Markle, you can get a sense of everything that he had to go through and how he found his passions. Regardless of what I feel about the royal family, I enjoyed this book and ended up with a greater understanding of royal life...and royal sacrifice. Show Less
LibraryThing member fredamans
I was so afraid to read this book. Having British heritage, I didn't want my opinion of the royal family to be tarnished in any way. I also wanted to read what the Price felt and dealt with at certain times in his life. We all want to know, I'm sure... so off I went.
I definitely have a deeper
This book probably ruined his relationships with his father and brother. I know it was getting better before the book release, but after reading this, I highly doubt it is moving forward now. That is incredibly sad.
I literally cried a few times reading this book. I took a long time to read it, longer than any book, but to be fair, I got mad at it a few times too and had to walk away. I have so much compassion for them that I want to give them a hug. I wouldn't cause that would be weird, but I want to. LOL.... you all know what I mean.
I get why some might not be for this book. Like why did you spill so many secrets... but I sure am glad he did. Time to stop being a scapegoat and live your life!
I definitely have a deeper
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understanding of Harry. I also understand why he wanted out of the royal spotlight. I'll be honest, I felt like Meghan was the Yoko Ono of the monarchy too, until I read what Harry had to say about everything. Most of us only get the dish from the media, and to find out that they were used so much.... shocking and yet not surprised. I actually feel empathy, and regret for my earlier assumptions about her.This book probably ruined his relationships with his father and brother. I know it was getting better before the book release, but after reading this, I highly doubt it is moving forward now. That is incredibly sad.
I literally cried a few times reading this book. I took a long time to read it, longer than any book, but to be fair, I got mad at it a few times too and had to walk away. I have so much compassion for them that I want to give them a hug. I wouldn't cause that would be weird, but I want to. LOL.... you all know what I mean.
I get why some might not be for this book. Like why did you spill so many secrets... but I sure am glad he did. Time to stop being a scapegoat and live your life!
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LibraryThing member mcelhra
By now, we all know, I love a dishy, celebrity memoir. Prince Harry does not disappoint. He starts at his childhood, before his mother’s death. He was traumatized by having to walk behind her coffin at her funeral. I had always assumed that he and Prince William wanted to do that. He’s honest
A lot of the book is about his time in the British military. I didn’t realize that he was more than just a ceremonial soldier. He actually had several confirmed kills and I think that has affected him more than he thinks it has. He also writes about his former girlfriends, not just Megahan Markle. Of course, their relationship and their departure from Britain are the last part of the book. She was treated so horribly by the British press.
Even though he had a ghostwriter, (J.R. Moehringer) the memoir is written in a conversational style that sounds like I imagine Harry sounds when he’s chatting. I think that Royal followers will thoroughly enjoy this book. I feel like he addressed almost every scandal he’s ever been a part of and told his side of the story. Highly recommended.
By now, we all know, I love a dishy, celebrity memoir. Prince Harry does not disappoint. He starts at his childhood, before his mother’s death. He was traumatized by having to walk behind her coffin at her funeral. I had always assumed that he and Prince William wanted to do that. He’s honest about his wild party days – the drugs, the Nazi uniform scandal, etc. He also goes into quite a bit of detail about the time his nether regions got frostbite which, I could have done without!
A lot of the book is about his time in the British military. I didn’t realize that he was more than just a ceremonial soldier. He actually had several confirmed kills and I think that has affected him more than he thinks it has. He also writes about his former girlfriends, not just Megahan Markle. Of course, their relationship and their departure from Britain are the last part of the book. She was treated so horribly by the British press.
Even though he had a ghostwriter, (J.R. Moehringer) the memoir is written in a conversational style that sounds like I imagine Harry sounds when he’s chatting. I think that Royal followers will thoroughly enjoy this book. I feel like he addressed almost every scandal he’s ever been a part of and told his side of the story.
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about his wild party days – the drugs, the Nazi uniform scandal, etc. He also goes into quite a bit of detail about the time his nether regions got frost bite which, I could have done without!A lot of the book is about his time in the British military. I didn’t realize that he was more than just a ceremonial soldier. He actually had several confirmed kills and I think that has affected him more than he thinks it has. He also writes about his former girlfriends, not just Megahan Markle. Of course, their relationship and their departure from Britain are the last part of the book. She was treated so horribly by the British press.
Even though he had a ghostwriter, (J.R. Moehringer) the memoir is written in a conversational style that sounds like I imagine Harry sounds when he’s chatting. I think that Royal followers will thoroughly enjoy this book. I feel like he addressed almost every scandal he’s ever been a part of and told his side of the story. Highly recommended.
By now, we all know, I love a dishy, celebrity memoir. Prince Harry does not disappoint. He starts at his childhood, before his mother’s death. He was traumatized by having to walk behind her coffin at her funeral. I had always assumed that he and Prince William wanted to do that. He’s honest about his wild party days – the drugs, the Nazi uniform scandal, etc. He also goes into quite a bit of detail about the time his nether regions got frostbite which, I could have done without!
A lot of the book is about his time in the British military. I didn’t realize that he was more than just a ceremonial soldier. He actually had several confirmed kills and I think that has affected him more than he thinks it has. He also writes about his former girlfriends, not just Megahan Markle. Of course, their relationship and their departure from Britain are the last part of the book. She was treated so horribly by the British press.
Even though he had a ghostwriter, (J.R. Moehringer) the memoir is written in a conversational style that sounds like I imagine Harry sounds when he’s chatting. I think that Royal followers will thoroughly enjoy this book. I feel like he addressed almost every scandal he’s ever been a part of and told his side of the story.
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LibraryThing member fiadhiglas
I'm a person with complex PTSD from a beyond-difficult childhood -- who ultimately had to cut off contact with my parents, siblings, everyone. I was/am a fan of Princess Diana (only 5 years older than me) since her wedding to then-Prince Charles (and have read at least 15 books on the British royal
(Also, I've been blogging since 2009, and many of my (earlier) posts are memoir-ish, which led me to start reading every memoir I could find that looked interesting. Since I joined LibraryThing in 2011, I've read 450ish memoirs.)
So I was very interested to see *how* Prince Harry would talk about his life in his own words.
Prince Harry is candid at a level I've rarely seen. But I have to applaud that. Even more than ordinary people who write about the dysfunctional families they grew up in, he had to have known, intimately, that the combined tonnage of the royal rota & British press would, in fact, rip him to shreds for even, oh, 1/10 of the honesty he employed here. And yet he did it anyway.
I'll be even more interested if he writes more memoir-ish things in a few years, when he's had more time and space to process things and put them into a larger perspective. To be honest, I think he's *much* too forgiving towards his father and brother, while thinking (apparently) that the British press are The (Only) Real Problem. Dude, the call is coming from inside the house!
Good job, Prince Harry! Please keep writing.
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family). And I always liked Prince Harry, but have been a Big Fan of Meghan since they got engaged in 2017. (Also, I've been blogging since 2009, and many of my (earlier) posts are memoir-ish, which led me to start reading every memoir I could find that looked interesting. Since I joined LibraryThing in 2011, I've read 450ish memoirs.)
So I was very interested to see *how* Prince Harry would talk about his life in his own words.
Prince Harry is candid at a level I've rarely seen. But I have to applaud that. Even more than ordinary people who write about the dysfunctional families they grew up in, he had to have known, intimately, that the combined tonnage of the royal rota & British press would, in fact, rip him to shreds for even, oh, 1/10 of the honesty he employed here. And yet he did it anyway.
I'll be even more interested if he writes more memoir-ish things in a few years, when he's had more time and space to process things and put them into a larger perspective. To be honest, I think he's *much* too forgiving towards his father and brother, while thinking (apparently) that the British press are The (Only) Real Problem. Dude, the call is coming from inside the house!
Good job, Prince Harry! Please keep writing.
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LibraryThing member muffinbutt1027
After reading Harry's story, in his own words, I'm having an even harder time reconciling people's criticism of him. He clearly just wants the truth to be told, he is also reacting to the trauma of his childhood - after see what the press and lack of honesty from the Monarchy had done to his
He never once states that he did all that he did for "privacy" - he wanted peace. The two are not necessarily co-existent. He also made it clear that his goal was never to step totally away from his role as a working royal - but the Crown pushed him there. They gave him little to no choice - stripped him of his titles, income and security - what was he supposed to do? Go get a 9-5 somewhere? He had no choice but to use his family and his notoriety to support his own growing family and offer them the protection they clearly required.
At the end of the day, Harry very clearly cares about his impact on the world. Even before Megan came into the picture - his goals were not in line with the Crown and it seems that the rest of his family did not respect his idealist nature, his willingness to call out lies and own his truth, and to seek justice against those who wronged him.
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mother, what choice did he have?He never once states that he did all that he did for "privacy" - he wanted peace. The two are not necessarily co-existent. He also made it clear that his goal was never to step totally away from his role as a working royal - but the Crown pushed him there. They gave him little to no choice - stripped him of his titles, income and security - what was he supposed to do? Go get a 9-5 somewhere? He had no choice but to use his family and his notoriety to support his own growing family and offer them the protection they clearly required.
At the end of the day, Harry very clearly cares about his impact on the world. Even before Megan came into the picture - his goals were not in line with the Crown and it seems that the rest of his family did not respect his idealist nature, his willingness to call out lies and own his truth, and to seek justice against those who wronged him.
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LibraryThing member alanna1122
I can pretend that I came to this memoir cold and without any information - but as a kid I was very into following the royal family. As much as an American can - I followed all their stories and lives. There was a time I was very pro - British Royal Family in the very broadest way and would have no
I do not feel this way anymore.
Even before reading this - I sympathized very heavily with Harry. This is a person who suffered an unimaginable tragedy in losing his mother at age 12. Paparazzi had chased her and her family for years and made their lives difficult and dangerous. This was not an event that happened out of thin air but was the culmination of years of abuse at their hands. Literally something they feared and worried about ended up causing her death. How could that not create trauma in a kid that age?
I can not imagine, given that life experience - then seeing that same kind of attention from the Press coupled with disgusting vitriol and racism aimed at his wife what kind of fear and panic that he must have felt.
I believe his choice to disengage and move away is completely understandable.
The real revelations in the book for me really came with how complicit Charles is with media. How readily he chooses not to protect or speak up for his children and how that is just accepted.
I don't think the Monarchy will look like it does for much longer. Seeing people who care more about preserving an institution than their actual family members is not inspiring - it's embarrassing.
In one of the most poignant moments in the book, Harry recalls walking behind his mother's coffin as part of the funeral procession and he asks " why did the adults do that to us?". This stopped me dead. At the time I would have said - well they had to - tradition! But that is such BS. No child should have to do that. It was something no one would have batted an eye if those kids were spared from that. But spectacle and creating dramatic sympathy for the family took priority. It is that kind of decision making is so loathsome to me.
To be clear, I do not think Harry and Megan are perfect - I don't find them endearing or likable all of the time - but I get why they are where they are - and I don't find their decision making at all mysterious.
I think Charles is really unfit to be a role model of any kind - and I for one am ready to see this family take a much smaller role on world stage and spend some time tending to themselves as people and as family instead of grooming a public relations machine.
The book itself was pretty readable, I found the long Army interludes slowed things down quite a bit. But I understand how important those years were to Harry.
As for the more salacious and hurtful disclosures he makes, its not great - but again - sometimes people who have been very hurt lash out. Its not pretty - but I get it.
This book helped me organize and clarify my thoughts about the current Royal Family. I hope it was cathartic for Harry and I hope Harry and Megan live a long happy life in the way they wish - although I am sure the pain of the lack of support of their family will always be felt.
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room for sympathy for anyone given the opportunity to live that life and decide not to wholeheartedly buy in.I do not feel this way anymore.
Even before reading this - I sympathized very heavily with Harry. This is a person who suffered an unimaginable tragedy in losing his mother at age 12. Paparazzi had chased her and her family for years and made their lives difficult and dangerous. This was not an event that happened out of thin air but was the culmination of years of abuse at their hands. Literally something they feared and worried about ended up causing her death. How could that not create trauma in a kid that age?
I can not imagine, given that life experience - then seeing that same kind of attention from the Press coupled with disgusting vitriol and racism aimed at his wife what kind of fear and panic that he must have felt.
I believe his choice to disengage and move away is completely understandable.
The real revelations in the book for me really came with how complicit Charles is with media. How readily he chooses not to protect or speak up for his children and how that is just accepted.
I don't think the Monarchy will look like it does for much longer. Seeing people who care more about preserving an institution than their actual family members is not inspiring - it's embarrassing.
In one of the most poignant moments in the book, Harry recalls walking behind his mother's coffin as part of the funeral procession and he asks " why did the adults do that to us?". This stopped me dead. At the time I would have said - well they had to - tradition! But that is such BS. No child should have to do that. It was something no one would have batted an eye if those kids were spared from that. But spectacle and creating dramatic sympathy for the family took priority. It is that kind of decision making is so loathsome to me.
To be clear, I do not think Harry and Megan are perfect - I don't find them endearing or likable all of the time - but I get why they are where they are - and I don't find their decision making at all mysterious.
I think Charles is really unfit to be a role model of any kind - and I for one am ready to see this family take a much smaller role on world stage and spend some time tending to themselves as people and as family instead of grooming a public relations machine.
The book itself was pretty readable, I found the long Army interludes slowed things down quite a bit. But I understand how important those years were to Harry.
As for the more salacious and hurtful disclosures he makes, its not great - but again - sometimes people who have been very hurt lash out. Its not pretty - but I get it.
This book helped me organize and clarify my thoughts about the current Royal Family. I hope it was cathartic for Harry and I hope Harry and Megan live a long happy life in the way they wish - although I am sure the pain of the lack of support of their family will always be felt.
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LibraryThing member OscarWilde87
This memoir of the first thirty-something years of Prince Harry's life has been widely discussed in the media and there is probably not too much left unsaid about it. In the book, Harry relates memories of his childhood, writes about dealing with the tragic death of his mother, royal life, his time
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in the military, getting to know Meghan and leaving Britain. First and foremost he writes about his relation with the press and how paparazzi make his life a living hell. While all of this is interesting to read, I found the whole book not as sensational. I knew that as a royal you were constantly subjected to being in the news, but the extent of being photographed every instant of your life and being harassed by paparazzi every step of your way was surprising to me. I would have thought that the palace had more clout in getting some privacy, making stories go away or would at least sue media outlets for libel more often. The one thing that bugged me about the book - but this was to be expected, it being a memoir - is the degree of subjectivity that shines through in various places. Of course, this is a portrayal of Harry's view, but somehow the descriptions feel exceptionally one-sided sometimes. Then again, this puts more urgency behind his call for more privacy. In that sense, I think it is completely fair and everyone knows that this is Harry's opinion. I would not dare to judge what this man has to go through and I found myself really rooting for him. Overall, I did enjoy reading the book. 3.5 stars. Show Less
LibraryThing member Carmenere
Overall a sad family saga.
PH is not the first person to be a spare to the future monarch but, and this is just my opinion, he seems to be very sensitive and takes the role to heart. The first 3/4’s of the book focuses on sibling rivalry, the stain of his mum’s sudden death, his stint in the
The last quarter of the book is when the * really hits the fan. Racist remarks, comparisons, both mainly by the press, leaks to the press by insiders, PH’s obsessions about finding and keeping a girlfriend who is willing to withstand the abuse and intrusions of the press proves all that glitters is not good.
Again, it is unfortunate that this family is torn apart over what amounts to squabbles and miss understandings and, according to PH, British tabloids.
A good read with a first hand glimpse of royal life from an insider.
PH is not the first person to be a spare to the future monarch but, and this is just my opinion, he seems to be very sensitive and takes the role to heart. The first 3/4’s of the book focuses on sibling rivalry, the stain of his mum’s sudden death, his stint in the
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army, finding a role for himself, inevitably finding a mate and hints at royal egos and palace courtiers juggling nicey nice with the British press.The last quarter of the book is when the * really hits the fan. Racist remarks, comparisons, both mainly by the press, leaks to the press by insiders, PH’s obsessions about finding and keeping a girlfriend who is willing to withstand the abuse and intrusions of the press proves all that glitters is not good.
Again, it is unfortunate that this family is torn apart over what amounts to squabbles and miss understandings and, according to PH, British tabloids.
A good read with a first hand glimpse of royal life from an insider.
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LibraryThing member silversurfer
A brave, cathartic, eye opening journey.
Harry pulls no punches in the telling of a young 12 year old Royal NOT dealing with his Mother's death. Not able to cry for many years to come. Suffering from PTSD and a lack of confidence. He should have been in therapy, but the family looked
The other
"Don't complain, don't explain" the Royal motto.
Always feeling he wasn't important, just the "Spare" in comparison to William, the Heir.
William is painted as a bully from a young age and always competitive when it came to Harry, dominating him even when they grew as men.
William it seems always had something to prove, that Harry should always
Bend the knee to the heir apparent.
The book gives you a true understanding of the horrors his wife Meg dealt with at the hands of the tabloids. At times sanctioned by the Palace, but always complicit
In the hate and racist mongering.
Amid threats on their life, and no assistance from the family, they had no other choice but to flee Britain.
There is so much pain on these pages, that at times my eyes were wet.
I feel Diana would be proud of Harry living the life she may have chosen for herself.
He has found his happiness.
But what would truly make his happiness complete is the reconciliation between
Brothers and Father.
That remains to be seen.
After reading this, I am definitely on team Harry.
May they all find peace.
Harry pulls no punches in the telling of a young 12 year old Royal NOT dealing with his Mother's death. Not able to cry for many years to come. Suffering from PTSD and a lack of confidence. He should have been in therapy, but the family looked
The other
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way."Don't complain, don't explain" the Royal motto.
Always feeling he wasn't important, just the "Spare" in comparison to William, the Heir.
William is painted as a bully from a young age and always competitive when it came to Harry, dominating him even when they grew as men.
William it seems always had something to prove, that Harry should always
Bend the knee to the heir apparent.
The book gives you a true understanding of the horrors his wife Meg dealt with at the hands of the tabloids. At times sanctioned by the Palace, but always complicit
In the hate and racist mongering.
Amid threats on their life, and no assistance from the family, they had no other choice but to flee Britain.
There is so much pain on these pages, that at times my eyes were wet.
I feel Diana would be proud of Harry living the life she may have chosen for herself.
He has found his happiness.
But what would truly make his happiness complete is the reconciliation between
Brothers and Father.
That remains to be seen.
After reading this, I am definitely on team Harry.
May they all find peace.
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LibraryThing member brianinbuffalo
My two beefs with this otherwise engaging memoir: It’s definitely a bit longer than it needs to be, and the vast majority of the “bombshells”/punchlines were already revealed multiple times in the extensive media tour that accompanied the book’s release. Even folks who do not religiously
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follow the news will likely mutter, “Yep, already heard that.". Still, “Spare” provides a revealing and fascinating peek (readers can only hope it’s a factually-accurate peek) of the royal family. Prince Harry’s complicated and traumatic life is presented in a readable and generally well-written narrative – although I do think it suffered a bit from T.M.M.: too much military. Readers who are enamored of all-things-royal will likely devour “Spare.” Those who have a mild curiosity about royal life – and I place myself in this group – won’t be disappointed. Show Less
LibraryThing member NeedMoreShelves
Mostly this memoir just made me sad, because I think it's clear that the monarchy in it's current state will just continue to break people. At this point most of the content of Spare is already out in the world, and I think readers who aren't particularly interested in the workings of the British
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royal family will find it a slog, but I'm glad Harry was able to tell his story in his own words, and I hope it brings him and his family some healing. Show Less
LibraryThing member ShandaKersten
As you would expect, the story begins on August 31, 1997. The writing is very disconnected, but that is not distracting for long because you realize that it is an insight into his way of thinking and the way his brain works. It is when his memory starts to show gaping holes. There are things the
Once he reaches his military career, his thoughts are much more organized and easier to follow. His attention is more focused and detail oriented. He is also articulate when it comes to his father and how distant he is but also trying to show pride in his youngest son. It is hard to keep track of what age he is doing what, but he throws the numbers out there now and then. The number times he had to give thought to his own death by the time he was 23 is heartbreaking.
When he was in Afghanistan, he was happy. No bodyguards, no press, no paparazzi. He was almost anonymous. The details of being found by the press when he was working or when he was training somewhere makes you feel that the family itself really should do something, if not the government itself. Without giving away the details, the book follows Harry through the meeting of his wife, the falling out with his brother and father, the accusations he makes toward his stepmother, and the death of his beloved grandmother, the Queen.
If you have no interest in the royal family, the book is not for you. If you have followed the family from a certain point, like the wedding of Charles and Diana, or have watched The Tudors or The Crown, it offers an inside view of royal life that is not as fairytale like as we would all like to believe.
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ordinary public would like to know about the British royal family that we never expect to know. There are even things we think we know, that are true, and things we think we know that are not true. Prince Harry delivers his side of royal life and the institution that runs the lives of everyone in it.Once he reaches his military career, his thoughts are much more organized and easier to follow. His attention is more focused and detail oriented. He is also articulate when it comes to his father and how distant he is but also trying to show pride in his youngest son. It is hard to keep track of what age he is doing what, but he throws the numbers out there now and then. The number times he had to give thought to his own death by the time he was 23 is heartbreaking.
When he was in Afghanistan, he was happy. No bodyguards, no press, no paparazzi. He was almost anonymous. The details of being found by the press when he was working or when he was training somewhere makes you feel that the family itself really should do something, if not the government itself. Without giving away the details, the book follows Harry through the meeting of his wife, the falling out with his brother and father, the accusations he makes toward his stepmother, and the death of his beloved grandmother, the Queen.
If you have no interest in the royal family, the book is not for you. If you have followed the family from a certain point, like the wedding of Charles and Diana, or have watched The Tudors or The Crown, it offers an inside view of royal life that is not as fairytale like as we would all like to believe.
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LibraryThing member MontzaleeW
Spare
By Prince Harry
This book gives a good insight into what life is like for Harry. How the sleezy press, not real news agencies, have an unhealthy relationship with the royal family and the family allows it. (I saw a show on this also so it's not just Harry's view.) I guess if the press isn't
I thought it must have been hard to express all he did. It's easy for people to criticize him but they aren't walking in his shoes. I myself, thought he was easy on his father but it's his only parent left and I am sure he loves him regardless of his mistakes.
I have to say I enjoyed this book. Harry seemed to be talking to me. I got the audio version from the library. His voice was soothing and yet full of honesty and displayed just the right amount of emotion to be proper! Very British! I was elated with his highs in life and tearful with his lows. I cried when Megan cried. They were both trapped. This book moved me!
I'm American so I don't see why the UK still has a Monarchy in this day and age, especially now that Elizabeth is gone. Charles is not popular. But it's none of my business. America had trump so there's that! :(
By Prince Harry
This book gives a good insight into what life is like for Harry. How the sleezy press, not real news agencies, have an unhealthy relationship with the royal family and the family allows it. (I saw a show on this also so it's not just Harry's view.) I guess if the press isn't
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after you and after a different family member then feel lucky in the eyes of the royals!I thought it must have been hard to express all he did. It's easy for people to criticize him but they aren't walking in his shoes. I myself, thought he was easy on his father but it's his only parent left and I am sure he loves him regardless of his mistakes.
I have to say I enjoyed this book. Harry seemed to be talking to me. I got the audio version from the library. His voice was soothing and yet full of honesty and displayed just the right amount of emotion to be proper! Very British! I was elated with his highs in life and tearful with his lows. I cried when Megan cried. They were both trapped. This book moved me!
I'm American so I don't see why the UK still has a Monarchy in this day and age, especially now that Elizabeth is gone. Charles is not popular. But it's none of my business. America had trump so there's that! :(
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LibraryThing member janismack
This book was an eye opener in terms of how the firm (Royal family) functions as a business. This is not the first dysfunctional family I’ve read about but this one stands out because of their life in a fish bowl. I feel sorry for Harry, he never got over the death of his mother and this
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influenced him throughout his whole life so far. He did not want to play the royal game with the media. He and his wife were betrayed many times by his own family and of course the media. Show Less
LibraryThing member sedelia
I was interested in this despite telling myself I shouldn't be and my husband saved me from the back-and-forth of "should I read this, probably shouldn't" by putting it in my cart at Target.
LibraryThing member mzonderm
If Prince Harry had to boil this book down into one sentence, I expect it would be, “I will remain devoted to my mother forever, and I despise the paparazzi to the very core of my being.” That would be an accurate description of this book, but it does leave a lot out.
Harry talks about his
As much as Diana and the paparazzi dominate the book, the writing really comes alive when Harry departs from those topics. One example is when he talks about the military. The part that really shines is less his descriptions of his time in war zones, and more his thoughts about what being in the military meant to him, and his frustration that his title prevented him from seeing much action. The narrative also comes alive when Harry describes meeting and falling in love with Meghan, who of course becomes another major theme in the latter half of the book.
But surrounding all that is Harry’s loathing of the paparazzi, and he doesn’t mince words about it. He details story after story that come out in the British tabloids (and even some more reputable news outlets) that are just plain lies, recounts his battles with the palace about how to respond to them, and suggests more than once that certain people within the palace are feeding information to the press. The palace’s unwavering policy of not responding, even to the tabloid stories that were clearly untrue, along with Harry’s suspicions of a leak in the inner circle, led to a major breach between Harry and Charles and William.
Of course, we have only Harry’s side of the story here, and as Goethe tells us, “One man’s word is no man’s word; we should quietly hear both sides.” But the palace continues its policy of silence, and it’s unlikely that any further developments will be done quietly. So we have to take Harry’s word for it, for now, which is very easy to do after reading this candid memoir.
Harry talks about his
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education (not distinguished), his relationship with his brother and father (alternately loving and heartbreakingly cruel), his time in the military (action-packed), his time spent in Africa and the charitable work it led to (inspiring), his relationship with his grandmother (close), and much more.As much as Diana and the paparazzi dominate the book, the writing really comes alive when Harry departs from those topics. One example is when he talks about the military. The part that really shines is less his descriptions of his time in war zones, and more his thoughts about what being in the military meant to him, and his frustration that his title prevented him from seeing much action. The narrative also comes alive when Harry describes meeting and falling in love with Meghan, who of course becomes another major theme in the latter half of the book.
But surrounding all that is Harry’s loathing of the paparazzi, and he doesn’t mince words about it. He details story after story that come out in the British tabloids (and even some more reputable news outlets) that are just plain lies, recounts his battles with the palace about how to respond to them, and suggests more than once that certain people within the palace are feeding information to the press. The palace’s unwavering policy of not responding, even to the tabloid stories that were clearly untrue, along with Harry’s suspicions of a leak in the inner circle, led to a major breach between Harry and Charles and William.
Of course, we have only Harry’s side of the story here, and as Goethe tells us, “One man’s word is no man’s word; we should quietly hear both sides.” But the palace continues its policy of silence, and it’s unlikely that any further developments will be done quietly. So we have to take Harry’s word for it, for now, which is very easy to do after reading this candid memoir.
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LibraryThing member indygo88
I really don't need to preface this review with a plot summary. Everyone knows who Prince Harry is and you'd probably need to be living under a rock to not know that he's published a memoir. I originally added this book to my wishlist at some point last year, when I heard that J.R. Moehringer was
Like many, I can remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard the news of Princess Diana's death. I think it's natural to want to feel nurturing toward the two young princes that she left behind. While Prince William appears to have naturally settled into his role, Harry seems to have always been known as more of a wild card, at least from my viewpoint. A little wilder in general, a little less settled, but yet coming into his own within the last 5-10 years. I know this memoir is controversial and Harry's viewpoint is only one side of the story, but it's refreshing to hear things from an insider's view, as opposed to the stories we hear from the press. There's really so much that could be said and discussed regarding Harry's story. He really does cover a lot in his book, though despite the short chapters, I felt like it took a while for me to get through it. The transitions between chapters were abrupt -- I thought it a bit choppy, but I did still enjoy it. My primary takeaway: I can't imagine living under the oppressive British monarchy and then having every moment of your life scrutinized and warped by the press. When I compare the lives of Princes Harry and William, I think I'd much rather be in Harry's position, able to speak my own mind and live more freely. I read this in conjunction while watching the Harry & Meghan docuseries, and the two correlated closely and complemented each other. I'd love to be a fly on the wall to really see and know how the other members of the Royal Family responded to this memoir, though I suspect they will continue to keep things pretty close to the vest, despite what the British tabloids have to say.
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ghostwriting it. I had just finished reading his own memoir and was suitably impressed by his writing style. I'm not obsessed with the royal family, but I have a casual interest and I guess a natural curiosity about any behind-the-scenes enlightenment that doesn't come directly from the press. Like many, I can remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard the news of Princess Diana's death. I think it's natural to want to feel nurturing toward the two young princes that she left behind. While Prince William appears to have naturally settled into his role, Harry seems to have always been known as more of a wild card, at least from my viewpoint. A little wilder in general, a little less settled, but yet coming into his own within the last 5-10 years. I know this memoir is controversial and Harry's viewpoint is only one side of the story, but it's refreshing to hear things from an insider's view, as opposed to the stories we hear from the press. There's really so much that could be said and discussed regarding Harry's story. He really does cover a lot in his book, though despite the short chapters, I felt like it took a while for me to get through it. The transitions between chapters were abrupt -- I thought it a bit choppy, but I did still enjoy it. My primary takeaway: I can't imagine living under the oppressive British monarchy and then having every moment of your life scrutinized and warped by the press. When I compare the lives of Princes Harry and William, I think I'd much rather be in Harry's position, able to speak my own mind and live more freely. I read this in conjunction while watching the Harry & Meghan docuseries, and the two correlated closely and complemented each other. I'd love to be a fly on the wall to really see and know how the other members of the Royal Family responded to this memoir, though I suspect they will continue to keep things pretty close to the vest, despite what the British tabloids have to say.
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Language
Original publication date
2023-01-10
Physical description
416 p.; 9.53 inches
ISBN
0857504797 / 9780857504791