Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

by Gary Chapman

Paperback, 2010



Call number



Northfield Publishing (2010), Edition: 1, 176 pages


Before you plan your wedding, plan your marriage! Wish you could know what you're getting into when you say I do? Now, with this audiobook, you can. Dr. Gary Chapman, #1 New York Times best-selling author of 'The 5 Love Languages', has spent the last 35 years counseling couples. In Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married, he shares what he and these couples have learned from experience. Among the twelve things you should know: that being in love is not enough to make a successful marriage; that romantic love has two stages (and how to make the transition); that mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic; and that personality profoundly affects behavior. The stakes on marriage are high, but the rewards of preparing are even higher. Whether you're single or dating, this audio can be your relationship blueprint and help you decide if and when you're ready to tie the knot. If you're engaged, even recently married, it will help you examine your relationship foundation and learn the skills necessary for building a successful marriage. This was written to help you realize your goal of marital happiness. But don't just listen to it - experience it. Grapple with the practical tips and ideas discussed, honestly share your thoughts and feelings, respect each other's opinions, and find workable solutions to your differences. The more you do so, says Chapman, the more you will be prepared for marriage.… (more)

User reviews

LibraryThing member Lovez2read
Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman is not just a manual for dating or engaged couples; but has wonderful advice for even those who have been married for years. In his book, Chapman shares lessons learned from his own marriage as well as his years as a marriage
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counselor. He discusses in depth the need for all couples to invest time in developing a healthy relationship prior to marriage.

Some of the key points I enjoyed reading most about include: love is not enough, 2 stages of romance, solving disagreements without arguing, toilets are not self-cleaning, and personality influences behavior. The discussion questions at the end of each chapter are a wonderful way for couples to begin drawing closer to each other and beginning to develop that healthy relationship that Chapman recommends.

Although Chapman does write about faith and spirituality in this book, even a non-religious person would find this book helpful and insightful. I highly recommend this book to any person anticipating marriage in the future, or anyone dating, engaged or even married already. I fully intend to purchase a copy for my children, and for gifts to give at bridal showers!
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LibraryThing member thornton37814
One of our pastors told me this was the book he recommended that couples work through before doing their pre-marital counseling sessions with him. In the book, Chapman condenses his "five love languages" into a single chapter (while recommending that couples read it and take the online test to
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determine theirs) although he makes frequent reference to the concept in other chapters. He discusses things couples need to address such as finance, sex, in-laws, religion, and much more. While Chapman is a Christian and uses more examples from a Christian perspective, the book itself probably could have a broader appeal than the Christian market. I was a little disappointed in the chapter on in-law relationships. While it addressed the in-law who tries to spend too much time with their child after the wedding, it failed to address the one who refuses to accept the spouse because of not wanting to share their child with another person. Overall, it's a good book which helps a couple decide whether or not they are compatible, able to make decisions, compromise when necessary, and go forward with the marriage.
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Original language


Physical description

176 p.; 5.25 inches


1616648945 / 9781616648947
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