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Description
A story of family identity and belonging follows an Indian family through the marriage of their daughter, from the parents' arrival in the United States to the return of their estranged son. As an Indian wedding gathers a family back together, parents Rafiq and Layla must reckon with the choices their children have made. There is Hadia: their headstrong, eldest daughter, whose marriage is a match of love and not tradition. Huda, the middle child, determined to follow in her sister's footsteps. And their estranged son, Amar, returns to the family for the first time in three years to take his place as brother of the bride. What secrets and betrayals have caused this close-knit family to fracture? --
Awards
Dublin Literary Award (Longlist — 2020)
Center for Fiction First Novel Prize (Longlist — 2018)
Barnes and Noble Discover Great New Writers Award (Finalist — Fiction — 2018)
Reading Women Award (Shortlist — Fiction — 2018)
BookTube Prize (Bronze — Fiction — 2019)
5 Under 35 Award (2020)
NPR: Books We Love (2018)
Chicago Public Library Best of the Best: Adults (Selection — 2018)
Original publication date
2018
User reviews
LibraryThing member Cariola
This is not your usual story of an immigrant family struggling to adjust to life in America--far from it. It's the story of a family whose cultural background just happens to be Indian Muslim, and they share the joys and trials of many other families of all religions and ethnicities. Mirza's novel
Overall, this is a very moving novel, beautifully written. Mirza does a fine job of subtly presenting the differences between Muslim families and others while, more importantly, stressing their similarities. I highly recommend it and look forward to her next book.
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is divided into four section, each focused on the point of view of one family member: Eldest daughter Hadia, mother Layla, son Amar, and father Rafik (middle daughter Huda, while not given her own section, plays a role in every family member's story) The main conflicts revolve around Amar, the youngest child and only son. While his mother loves him unconditionally yet worries about his "difference" from her other children, his father has raised all three of his children with high expectations that Amar simply cannot meet. His sisters (especially Hadia) also try to protect Amar from their father's harsh dictates and frequent anger and frustration, but eventually, things come to a head, tearing the family apart. Hadia's section is the most straightforward, simply telling what happened in the past and on her wedding day, the event that begins the novel. Layla's story struggles to understand both her son and her husband while considering the sacrifices she has made to come to a new country with her new husband. In his section, Amar presents events from his own point of view, dominated by a the sadness of numerous losses. But it is the final section, Rafiq's, that really tears at the heart. This is a man in pain, a man who simply wanted to raise successful children strong in their faith, but now, late in life, recognizes his mistakes and reveals long-hidden feelings. Overall, this is a very moving novel, beautifully written. Mirza does a fine job of subtly presenting the differences between Muslim families and others while, more importantly, stressing their similarities. I highly recommend it and look forward to her next book.
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LibraryThing member BooksCooksLooks
A Place for Us is the story of a family. It begins with Layla, a young Muslim woman who is told that she is to be married. This man, Rafiq will take her away to America where he has a job and good prospects. Layla follows her new husband away from all she knows. She soon finds herself pregnant and
Haida and Huda the girls grow up without issues. They are well behaved and follow the rules put forth in the household. Amar, the boy is another story. His birth was a bit traumatic so his mother clings to him and Amar returns the love. This troubles Rafiq for reasons he can’t really articulate. His own father died when he was still quite young and he wonders at his ability to be a father himself.
As the children grow and the family tries to live a devout, Muslim life in the time after 9/11 each one tries to find their place in the family and the world. Rafiq and Layla try to maintain the old ways while the children look to the future. Amar is constantly at odds with his father while being protected by his mother and resented by his sisters. It makes for some tense family dynamics.
There is a very strong, compelling and rich family drama within the pages of this book. Dealing with universal issues of love, loyalty, faith, and trust there is much to mine within a family that has a patriarch that rules with a somewhat iron fist within cultural norms that demand obedience. Clashes of traditions further add to the mix. The characters are all very unique and very human with all the good and bad that go into making each of us. So you can see where this would be a book that would keep you invested and wanting to get lost in the story.
But that is the problem. You can’t just get lost in the story. It hops all over the place in time with no real logic. There are breaks but you don’t know after a section if you will be in the same time, a few years back or decades back. It’s downright confusing. There were seven main characters and each one would go back and forth in time within a chapter. Heck, various characters would go to different times from section break to section break. You had to really keep it together to remember what was what. I had it sorted by about halfway through but I had some frustrations. Were it not for this the book would have a higher rating.
Maybe others will be fine with all of the back and forth. It did not work for me. The underlying story was strong so that did save the novel. I respect that the present is built upon the past but there are easier ways to get to the point.
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one daughter leads to another and then finally a son.Haida and Huda the girls grow up without issues. They are well behaved and follow the rules put forth in the household. Amar, the boy is another story. His birth was a bit traumatic so his mother clings to him and Amar returns the love. This troubles Rafiq for reasons he can’t really articulate. His own father died when he was still quite young and he wonders at his ability to be a father himself.
As the children grow and the family tries to live a devout, Muslim life in the time after 9/11 each one tries to find their place in the family and the world. Rafiq and Layla try to maintain the old ways while the children look to the future. Amar is constantly at odds with his father while being protected by his mother and resented by his sisters. It makes for some tense family dynamics.
There is a very strong, compelling and rich family drama within the pages of this book. Dealing with universal issues of love, loyalty, faith, and trust there is much to mine within a family that has a patriarch that rules with a somewhat iron fist within cultural norms that demand obedience. Clashes of traditions further add to the mix. The characters are all very unique and very human with all the good and bad that go into making each of us. So you can see where this would be a book that would keep you invested and wanting to get lost in the story.
But that is the problem. You can’t just get lost in the story. It hops all over the place in time with no real logic. There are breaks but you don’t know after a section if you will be in the same time, a few years back or decades back. It’s downright confusing. There were seven main characters and each one would go back and forth in time within a chapter. Heck, various characters would go to different times from section break to section break. You had to really keep it together to remember what was what. I had it sorted by about halfway through but I had some frustrations. Were it not for this the book would have a higher rating.
Maybe others will be fine with all of the back and forth. It did not work for me. The underlying story was strong so that did save the novel. I respect that the present is built upon the past but there are easier ways to get to the point.
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LibraryThing member c.archer
I very much enjoyed "A Place For Us". Although I have little in common with the characters, I found myself relating to them and appreciating the impact that change and years had made in each of them. It took me an incredibly long time to finish the book, not because I didn't want to read, but
"Otherness" is something that is currently a concern for many people. By focusing on differences in culture, religion, or race, people can marginalize those who intimidate them, or who they see as threatening. This book opened my eyes to the way that this pressure can cause a breakdown within a family unit. The vast changes from one generation to another can as well threaten those family relationships and enhance their differences in perspective. In this story, each of the three children finds their own way to a life apart from their parents. The result pulled at my heart and helped me recognize that part of the message of this book is that we all are searching for a place where we fit in and can grow and flourish as individuals. The immigrant experience is one in which this trying to fit in is perhaps the most profoundly challenged.
One of the techniques that worked well for the author is to use the different characters to tell the story. The focus shifts from one to another and lets the author give different perspectives of any one event. This allows the reader to really get into the head of each of the characters. I found myself understanding them better thanks to this way of telling the story. The author also switches from event to event without keeping them consecutive. This might be a bit confusing, but again helps the reader to better understand the choices and rationals made by the characters. I really cared about them and thus cared about this book. I think it's a great book to use as a book club choice or as a topic starter for consideration of immigrants and current topics dealing with racism and Islamophobia.
My thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this title.
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rather because I had too many irons in the fire. In spite of that, I still found myself engaged and fascinated by the story each time I picked it up."Otherness" is something that is currently a concern for many people. By focusing on differences in culture, religion, or race, people can marginalize those who intimidate them, or who they see as threatening. This book opened my eyes to the way that this pressure can cause a breakdown within a family unit. The vast changes from one generation to another can as well threaten those family relationships and enhance their differences in perspective. In this story, each of the three children finds their own way to a life apart from their parents. The result pulled at my heart and helped me recognize that part of the message of this book is that we all are searching for a place where we fit in and can grow and flourish as individuals. The immigrant experience is one in which this trying to fit in is perhaps the most profoundly challenged.
One of the techniques that worked well for the author is to use the different characters to tell the story. The focus shifts from one to another and lets the author give different perspectives of any one event. This allows the reader to really get into the head of each of the characters. I found myself understanding them better thanks to this way of telling the story. The author also switches from event to event without keeping them consecutive. This might be a bit confusing, but again helps the reader to better understand the choices and rationals made by the characters. I really cared about them and thus cared about this book. I think it's a great book to use as a book club choice or as a topic starter for consideration of immigrants and current topics dealing with racism and Islamophobia.
My thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this title.
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LibraryThing member mcelhra
Warning: This is probably going to be a gushing, rambling review. I hope I can get across just how good this book is. As you know, I love reading books with Indian characters because I am intrigued by Indian culture. This book is a study of one modern Muslim Indian American family and how their
It begins at Hadia’s wedding and weaves flashbacks throughout the narrative. The flashbacks are told in third person and alternate between perspectives of Layla; the mother or Hadia, the eldest daughter; or Amar, the youngest child. Some are different family members’ interpretation of the same event. Hadia feels like she can never be enough and that her parents will never love her as much as they love Amar, yet Amar feels like he will never fit in well enough for his father to love him. Of course the Hadia and Amar’s parents love them a lot.
As I read, I was constantly amazed Mirza is in her twenties and this is her first book. She has brilliant insight into the minds of both parents and children and writes both with beautiful, delicate prose. The family’s Muslim faith plays a huge role in their lives as Rafiq tries desperately to raise his children to be good Muslims in the face of the modern world. Parents of any or no religion will be able to empathize with Rafiq. The struggle to raise moral children is universal and transcends religion.
The last section is told by Rafiq in first person and broke my heart into a million pieces. Stoic and strict with his children throughout their lives, we get to see the contents of his soul. Once again, I was in awe of Mizra’s ability to authentically portray the parent’s side of a parent-child relationship.
One of the reasons I chose this book is because it is the first book in Sarah Jessica Parker’s new imprint, SJP for Hogarth. She’s smart and has good taste in general so I figured she probably knows books. Boy does she! I can’t wait to read whatever her imprint releases next. A Place for Us is amazing and Mirza is amazing. I can’t wait to see what she comes up with next.
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culture has shaped their relationships with one another.It begins at Hadia’s wedding and weaves flashbacks throughout the narrative. The flashbacks are told in third person and alternate between perspectives of Layla; the mother or Hadia, the eldest daughter; or Amar, the youngest child. Some are different family members’ interpretation of the same event. Hadia feels like she can never be enough and that her parents will never love her as much as they love Amar, yet Amar feels like he will never fit in well enough for his father to love him. Of course the Hadia and Amar’s parents love them a lot.
As I read, I was constantly amazed Mirza is in her twenties and this is her first book. She has brilliant insight into the minds of both parents and children and writes both with beautiful, delicate prose. The family’s Muslim faith plays a huge role in their lives as Rafiq tries desperately to raise his children to be good Muslims in the face of the modern world. Parents of any or no religion will be able to empathize with Rafiq. The struggle to raise moral children is universal and transcends religion.
The last section is told by Rafiq in first person and broke my heart into a million pieces. Stoic and strict with his children throughout their lives, we get to see the contents of his soul. Once again, I was in awe of Mizra’s ability to authentically portray the parent’s side of a parent-child relationship.
One of the reasons I chose this book is because it is the first book in Sarah Jessica Parker’s new imprint, SJP for Hogarth. She’s smart and has good taste in general so I figured she probably knows books. Boy does she! I can’t wait to read whatever her imprint releases next. A Place for Us is amazing and Mirza is amazing. I can’t wait to see what she comes up with next.
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LibraryThing member BettyTaylor56
I am amazed that this is Ms. Mirza’s first book. It is beautifully written, describing the family dynamics of a Muslim Indian-American family and their intense desire to remain devout to their religion and continue their cultural traditions here in the US. Just like any family, anywhere, of any
The story opens with the wedding of the oldest daughter Hadia to Tariq, a modern marriage of love rather than the traditional arranged marriage. On her daughter’s wedding day, mother Layla thinks back to the early days of her arranged marriage with husband Rafiq who was an orphan who moved to America on his own, got a job, and established a good life for himself and his new immigrant wife Layla. They had three children - Hadia, Huda, and Amar. While all three of the children struggle with the decision to follow their parents’ religious and cultural practices or not, Amar finds it especially difficult. He spends his entire life trying to find where he fits in and never truly feels that he belongs anywhere. The book alternates between the characters’ past reflections on life and their current lives. Especially poignant are Layla’s reflections. Hadia muses upon why (in her opinion) Amar was her parents’ favorite child, why it seemed only men were important. I loved her biblical comparisons – “The Prophets and the Imans had been men.” Jonah was special, as was Abraham, Joseph, and Noah. But it was Moses’ sister Miriam who came up with the idea of putting him in a basket to save his life. Just as important were the Pharaoh’s wife who saved made Moses her own, Mary who bore Jesus, the Prophet’s daughter Fatima.
Hadia has asked her beloved brother Amar to attend her wedding even though Amar has been estranged from the family for three years. The relationship between Amar and his father has always been especially strained.
I enjoyed reading about the religious and cultural practices of the family. As I read I could see many similarities between the Muslim practices and my own Jewish practices. This book is a gives us the gift of looking into another culture with the utmost sensitivity and genuineness. The conflicts encountered, the family conflicts, the feeling of isolation, the heartbreaks – all are portrayed with such compassion for the characters. This is a family you will not soon forget.
I received an ARC of this book from BookBrowse.com’s First Impressions program. All opinions are my own.
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faith, the children strive to live up to their parents’ expectations of them, often feeling frustration at the constraints they feel their parents have unfairly put upon them. The story opens with the wedding of the oldest daughter Hadia to Tariq, a modern marriage of love rather than the traditional arranged marriage. On her daughter’s wedding day, mother Layla thinks back to the early days of her arranged marriage with husband Rafiq who was an orphan who moved to America on his own, got a job, and established a good life for himself and his new immigrant wife Layla. They had three children - Hadia, Huda, and Amar. While all three of the children struggle with the decision to follow their parents’ religious and cultural practices or not, Amar finds it especially difficult. He spends his entire life trying to find where he fits in and never truly feels that he belongs anywhere. The book alternates between the characters’ past reflections on life and their current lives. Especially poignant are Layla’s reflections. Hadia muses upon why (in her opinion) Amar was her parents’ favorite child, why it seemed only men were important. I loved her biblical comparisons – “The Prophets and the Imans had been men.” Jonah was special, as was Abraham, Joseph, and Noah. But it was Moses’ sister Miriam who came up with the idea of putting him in a basket to save his life. Just as important were the Pharaoh’s wife who saved made Moses her own, Mary who bore Jesus, the Prophet’s daughter Fatima.
Hadia has asked her beloved brother Amar to attend her wedding even though Amar has been estranged from the family for three years. The relationship between Amar and his father has always been especially strained.
I enjoyed reading about the religious and cultural practices of the family. As I read I could see many similarities between the Muslim practices and my own Jewish practices. This book is a gives us the gift of looking into another culture with the utmost sensitivity and genuineness. The conflicts encountered, the family conflicts, the feeling of isolation, the heartbreaks – all are portrayed with such compassion for the characters. This is a family you will not soon forget.
I received an ARC of this book from BookBrowse.com’s First Impressions program. All opinions are my own.
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LibraryThing member nbmars
This novel is centered almost exclusively on one family. It is narrated by four of its members at different points throughout the book. The parents, Rafiq and Layla, are devout Shia Muslims living in California and trying to raise their three children in the tenets of a very absorbing faith. The
The only son, Amar, is in some ways the focus of all of the family. For one thing, in their culture [note to self: resist urge to add, and in almost every culture], males are valued more than females. Females are first the responsibility of fathers, then of husbands. Hadia feels this difference acutely, musing “…hundreds and hundreds of years had passed [since the time of the Prophet], and it was still the son they cherished, the son their pride depended on, the son who would carry their name into the next generation.” Hadia makes some fateful choices in her life based on her competitive desire to matter more than the son to her father.
Rafiq and Layla’s daughters resist some of the traditional customs of their culture, such as having their spouses selected for them by their parents, but for the most part, their entire lives are based around their faith and the obligations required of them because of it. But Amar did not buy into that faith, and it made him feel like an outsider in his own home, as well as in their insular community.
Amar was especially worried by the story his mother told them when they were little. She warned that every sin is written down by an angel. Moreover, “you get a speck on your heart, a dark, small speck. . . . . each of them like stains.” “A permanent marker stain?” Amar asked. “Yes,” Mumma said, “a permanent stain. And with every sin, the heart grows harder and darker. Until it is so heavy and black it cannot tell good from evil anymore. It cannot even tell that it wants to be good.” This story affected Amar deeply. He goes through his life, unbelieving, sinning, and fearing that he is not only “ruined” for this life, but for the next.
Students of David Hume will recognize the problem that besets Amar. As Hume wrote in Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion in 1779, both fear and hope are part of religious belief, but: "When melancholy, and dejected, [the believer] has nothing to do but brood upon the terrors of the invisible world, and to plunge himself still deeper in affliction."
Layla is not a depicted as a villain in spite of the stories she told her children and in spite of another huge harm she does to Amar later in life. As the author limns her character, Layla is a mother trying to do her best for children she loves. Similarly, Rafiq is rough on the kids at times, but doesn’t know a better way to be. When Rafiq finally narrates in the last part of the book, we learn about his motivations, his fears, and his hopes, and it is a stunning insight into a perspective of which not even his children or his wife were aware.
Evaluation: This is a very impressive novel. The only odd note is that the fourth child, Huda, never narrates, and we never get to know her much at all. Still, the book is full of issues to mull and discuss, from the place of religious beliefs in one’s life and how best to impart them, to gender roles and expectations, to the pitfalls and rewards of parenting. The fact that this family is Muslim rather than Christian or Jewish does not affect the relevance of the universal problems of raising kids, growing up, and growing older. Highly recommended!
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oldest child, their daughter Hadia, is getting married as the book begins, but we never stay in one particular time period for long, with the temporal perspective shifting even inside each chapter. The only son, Amar, is in some ways the focus of all of the family. For one thing, in their culture [note to self: resist urge to add, and in almost every culture], males are valued more than females. Females are first the responsibility of fathers, then of husbands. Hadia feels this difference acutely, musing “…hundreds and hundreds of years had passed [since the time of the Prophet], and it was still the son they cherished, the son their pride depended on, the son who would carry their name into the next generation.” Hadia makes some fateful choices in her life based on her competitive desire to matter more than the son to her father.
Rafiq and Layla’s daughters resist some of the traditional customs of their culture, such as having their spouses selected for them by their parents, but for the most part, their entire lives are based around their faith and the obligations required of them because of it. But Amar did not buy into that faith, and it made him feel like an outsider in his own home, as well as in their insular community.
Amar was especially worried by the story his mother told them when they were little. She warned that every sin is written down by an angel. Moreover, “you get a speck on your heart, a dark, small speck. . . . . each of them like stains.” “A permanent marker stain?” Amar asked. “Yes,” Mumma said, “a permanent stain. And with every sin, the heart grows harder and darker. Until it is so heavy and black it cannot tell good from evil anymore. It cannot even tell that it wants to be good.” This story affected Amar deeply. He goes through his life, unbelieving, sinning, and fearing that he is not only “ruined” for this life, but for the next.
Students of David Hume will recognize the problem that besets Amar. As Hume wrote in Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion in 1779, both fear and hope are part of religious belief, but: "When melancholy, and dejected, [the believer] has nothing to do but brood upon the terrors of the invisible world, and to plunge himself still deeper in affliction."
Layla is not a depicted as a villain in spite of the stories she told her children and in spite of another huge harm she does to Amar later in life. As the author limns her character, Layla is a mother trying to do her best for children she loves. Similarly, Rafiq is rough on the kids at times, but doesn’t know a better way to be. When Rafiq finally narrates in the last part of the book, we learn about his motivations, his fears, and his hopes, and it is a stunning insight into a perspective of which not even his children or his wife were aware.
Evaluation: This is a very impressive novel. The only odd note is that the fourth child, Huda, never narrates, and we never get to know her much at all. Still, the book is full of issues to mull and discuss, from the place of religious beliefs in one’s life and how best to impart them, to gender roles and expectations, to the pitfalls and rewards of parenting. The fact that this family is Muslim rather than Christian or Jewish does not affect the relevance of the universal problems of raising kids, growing up, and growing older. Highly recommended!
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LibraryThing member bookchickdi
For actress Sarah Jessica Parker's first book under her SJP imprint at Hogarth, she chose Fatima Farheen Mirza's stunning debut novel A Place For Us.
Set in California, the novel opens at the elaborate Indian wedding of Hadia, the eldest child of an American Muslim family. Her parents, Layla and
The book then moves back in time, and we see the family at different points in their life together. Layla had a special relationship with her son, an easy closeness that escaped Rafiq. Amar was a quiet boy who liked poetry, and he did not have many friends except for Abbas, an older boy who looked out for Amar.
Hadia was the typical eldest child, she worked hard to get good grades and eagerly tried to please her father. She also had a crush on Abbas, the most popular boy in school.
We see their family life through the eyes of each of the family members. Layla and Rafiq are devout Muslims, and pass their strong beliefs onto their children. They expected to arrange marriages for their daughters, and hoped to make good matches for all of their children.
Mirza writes so beautifully, I found it difficult to believe that she is just 27 years-old. She is able to capture the voices of not only the children at various life stages, but she renders the voices of Layla and Rafiq so vividly for such a young person.
Her language is so eloquent it took my breath away, and I had to re-read several sentences to fully appreciate them, like this:
"As she glided between guests and stopped to hug women she had not yet greeted, it occured to Layla that this was what she might have pictured her life to look like once, when her children were young and she knew who her family would contain but not what life would be like for them."
The theme of this brilliant book might best be expressed by something Hadia thinks- "How were they to know the moments that would define them?" A Place For Us is filled with the moments that come to define each of the family members, and the ones that lead to Amar's estrangement from his family.
The truly saddest part of the book comes in part four, which is narrated by Rafiq. Until this point, we don't really know exactly what he is thinking. He pours his heart out, and the scene where he goes to Amar at the wedding had me in tears.
Although the book moves back and forth in time, and even shifts within chapters, Mirza is such a skilled writer that the reader is never confused. She will be a powerful voice in literary fiction for years to come.
A Place For Us is a compelling story about faith, family, and fathers and sons. I was so moved by it, I didn't want it to end. When I finished it, I wanted to hug it to my chest and just sit quietly and comtemplate it. It is a beautifully rendered story about an American family, and one that I encourage everyone to read. It is the best book I have read this year, period.
Set in California, the novel opens at the elaborate Indian wedding of Hadia, the eldest child of an American Muslim family. Her parents, Layla and
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Rafiq, and sister Huda are there to celebrate. The youngest child, her brother Amar, is also there, and it is the first time in three years that the family has seen Amar. There is tension, with everyone walking on eggshells around Amar. Layla begs her husband not to say anything that will upset Amar.The book then moves back in time, and we see the family at different points in their life together. Layla had a special relationship with her son, an easy closeness that escaped Rafiq. Amar was a quiet boy who liked poetry, and he did not have many friends except for Abbas, an older boy who looked out for Amar.
Hadia was the typical eldest child, she worked hard to get good grades and eagerly tried to please her father. She also had a crush on Abbas, the most popular boy in school.
We see their family life through the eyes of each of the family members. Layla and Rafiq are devout Muslims, and pass their strong beliefs onto their children. They expected to arrange marriages for their daughters, and hoped to make good matches for all of their children.
Mirza writes so beautifully, I found it difficult to believe that she is just 27 years-old. She is able to capture the voices of not only the children at various life stages, but she renders the voices of Layla and Rafiq so vividly for such a young person.
Her language is so eloquent it took my breath away, and I had to re-read several sentences to fully appreciate them, like this:
"As she glided between guests and stopped to hug women she had not yet greeted, it occured to Layla that this was what she might have pictured her life to look like once, when her children were young and she knew who her family would contain but not what life would be like for them."
The theme of this brilliant book might best be expressed by something Hadia thinks- "How were they to know the moments that would define them?" A Place For Us is filled with the moments that come to define each of the family members, and the ones that lead to Amar's estrangement from his family.
The truly saddest part of the book comes in part four, which is narrated by Rafiq. Until this point, we don't really know exactly what he is thinking. He pours his heart out, and the scene where he goes to Amar at the wedding had me in tears.
Although the book moves back and forth in time, and even shifts within chapters, Mirza is such a skilled writer that the reader is never confused. She will be a powerful voice in literary fiction for years to come.
A Place For Us is a compelling story about faith, family, and fathers and sons. I was so moved by it, I didn't want it to end. When I finished it, I wanted to hug it to my chest and just sit quietly and comtemplate it. It is a beautifully rendered story about an American family, and one that I encourage everyone to read. It is the best book I have read this year, period.
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LibraryThing member DKnight0918
Amazing book. Definitely one of the best I have read this year. I savored every single page. Hope to read many more books by Mirza.
LibraryThing member miss.mesmerized
It’s Hadia’s wedding day and more than anything else she has wished for her brother Amar to show up and take part in it. She hasn’t seen him for quite some time and then he is there. However, things do not turn out so well, but they never have with Amar. Flashback to the times when the kids
There is no single word to describe Fatima Farheen Mirza’s novel. I was stunned, excited, angry, understanding, I felt pity for the characters, I loathed them, I could understand them and I just wondered about them. I guess there are few emotions that did not come up when reading it and certainly it never left me cold. Is there more you can expect when reading a book? I don’t think so.
There is so much in it that I hardly know where to begin: there are typical family relationships that are questioned when children grow up. We have the problem of immigrant parents who do not fully assimilate with the welcoming culture but want to hand on something from their native background which necessarily collides within the children. There is love, forbidden love and rules of how a partner is to be found. There are differences made between the daughters and the son, rivalry between the siblings and we have parents who have to question the way they interact with their children and sometimes do not know what to do at all.
It might stem from the fact that I am female, but I liked Hadia best and felt most sympathetic with her. Even though Rafiq explains that he only wanted to protect his daughters, the fact that he limited her in all respects: friends, personal freedom as a child or teenager, even her academic success wasn’t greeted with enthusiasm because the father wanted his daughter to become a mother a take care of a future husband. She had to fight so many wars and was always treated inferior solely because she was a girl, I absolutely fest sorry for her.
Rafiq never reaches the point where he can fully accept his daughters as equals and this is the point where I most detested him. He understood what he did wrong with his son, but he makes masses of excuses and justifies his parenting with his own experiences and upbringing. This is just pitiable because he is stuck in a view of the world which he could have overcome in all the years in a western society. I can follow his thoughts at the end of the novel and surely this is quite authentic, I know people in reality whose world view shares a lot of similarities and I surely would like to know how one can open their eyes and make them overcome the stubborn ideas of women being inferior and parents knowing everything best. I was actually pretty angry at the end when Rafiq finally gets a voice and can ultimately share his thoughts since there isn’t much I could agree with.
All in all, an outstanding novel which addresses so many of today’s issues and surely shouldn’t be missed.
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were still young and all five of them a family: Rafiq who left his home country in the Middle East when he was still a teenager to make a career in the US, mother Layla who came to the country when she married Rafiq, the two daughters Hadia and Huda and their younger brother Amar. Raising three kids in Muslim believe in a foreign country, handing on your convictions and traditions when they are daily endangered by a different set of believes and culture is never easy. Conflicts must arise and so they do until Amar leaves the family. But there are still things none of them knows and Hadia’s wedding might be the day to reveal some secrets.There is no single word to describe Fatima Farheen Mirza’s novel. I was stunned, excited, angry, understanding, I felt pity for the characters, I loathed them, I could understand them and I just wondered about them. I guess there are few emotions that did not come up when reading it and certainly it never left me cold. Is there more you can expect when reading a book? I don’t think so.
There is so much in it that I hardly know where to begin: there are typical family relationships that are questioned when children grow up. We have the problem of immigrant parents who do not fully assimilate with the welcoming culture but want to hand on something from their native background which necessarily collides within the children. There is love, forbidden love and rules of how a partner is to be found. There are differences made between the daughters and the son, rivalry between the siblings and we have parents who have to question the way they interact with their children and sometimes do not know what to do at all.
It might stem from the fact that I am female, but I liked Hadia best and felt most sympathetic with her. Even though Rafiq explains that he only wanted to protect his daughters, the fact that he limited her in all respects: friends, personal freedom as a child or teenager, even her academic success wasn’t greeted with enthusiasm because the father wanted his daughter to become a mother a take care of a future husband. She had to fight so many wars and was always treated inferior solely because she was a girl, I absolutely fest sorry for her.
Rafiq never reaches the point where he can fully accept his daughters as equals and this is the point where I most detested him. He understood what he did wrong with his son, but he makes masses of excuses and justifies his parenting with his own experiences and upbringing. This is just pitiable because he is stuck in a view of the world which he could have overcome in all the years in a western society. I can follow his thoughts at the end of the novel and surely this is quite authentic, I know people in reality whose world view shares a lot of similarities and I surely would like to know how one can open their eyes and make them overcome the stubborn ideas of women being inferior and parents knowing everything best. I was actually pretty angry at the end when Rafiq finally gets a voice and can ultimately share his thoughts since there isn’t much I could agree with.
All in all, an outstanding novel which addresses so many of today’s issues and surely shouldn’t be missed.
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LibraryThing member jmoncton
This is one of those books that gets 5 stars on a multitude of fronts -- excellent writing, a beautiful story, and all the subtle and complicated issues and conflicts that are inherent with any family.
The book centers around a Indian American Muslim family who live in a close knit Muslim community
This would be a perfect choice for a bookclub that likes literary fiction. Definitely one of my favorites of the year!
The book centers around a Indian American Muslim family who live in a close knit Muslim community
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in California. Each family member faces many of the difficulties in fitting in to American customs and society, trying to walk that fine line of assimilation and following tradition. The plot is carefully scripted and told in a non-sequential timeline which was a little confusing at first, but definitely added to the overall experience.This would be a perfect choice for a bookclub that likes literary fiction. Definitely one of my favorites of the year!
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LibraryThing member thewanderingjew
A Place For Us, Fatima Farheen Mirza, author; Deepti Gupta, Sunil Malhotra, narrators.
This is a very powerful book that examines family dynamics and relationships in a Muslim family whose origins began in India, but who now reside in America. They are, essentially, strangers in a strange land, and
Rafiq, alone, had settled in America and made a good life for himself. He offered a marriage proposal to Layla's parents, in India, and Layla accepted it. She was raised to be obedient. She understood that her life would be determined by her husband’s life. This was all that a Muslim woman in India could expect and hope for. She had no idea what would await her in America, and she only hoped that her husband would be kind and not quick to anger. She was raised to serve him and his family.
Time passed and as their family grew, two daughters, Hadia and Huda, and a son, Amar, filled out their home. Although the marriage had been arranged, the two grew to care for each other and were happy. They lived a quiet life surrounded by friends who were similar to them in their views and lifestyle. They followed their religion, praying, obeying its laws and keeping the culture for themselves and their children.
However, life in America was different. It was more open. In school, the children were exposed to a less religious, less observant life. They began to feel different, and they began to want what the other children had in clothes, entertainment and opportunity. They wanted to belong. In their lifestyle, females were second class, but now their daughters wanted to have the same opportunities as sons. As their values, their religion and their culture were put to the test, Layla and Rafiq struggled to understand the problems they faced. They had no idea how to solve them. Their experience afforded them no ideas. The temptations here didn’t exist in their former lives. They did not know how to help or guide their children away from the temptations that would hurt them. They did not even recognize what was happening to their son when he became addicted to drugs and alcohol.
Sibling rivalry, inexperience, misunderstandings and sadly, ignorance, combined to create conflicts that could have been avoided had they had a better understanding of what was happening. Rafiq and Layla were naïve because these problems they faced were new to them. They were not problems in their former lives. In America, the rules were not so hard and fast and there was opportunity for abuse. Weakness and insecurity in a child inspired the disobedience and the need to escape what hurt them, by any means available.
The author illustrated the difficulty of adjusting to a strange, new environment, exposing the pitfalls and the consequences of innocent ignorance. The problems faced when one was not accepted on the basis of merit, but rather was judged by appearance and background, are examined carefully by this author. She illustrates the cultural divide and the bias that exists, even under the best of circumstances.
This Muslim family from India was upwardly mobile. They had identified with and accomplished the American dream without having to give up their culture, but the world, at large, and circumstances beyond their control, were interfering and complicating their simple way of life, making it harder for their children to accomplish the same dreams of their parents.
When the book begins, Rafiq and Layla are celebrating the marriage of their eldest daughter, Hadia, to a man she has chosen herself, defying tradition. She is hoping her estranged brother, Amar, will arrive. When the book ends, her brother Amar, is still estranged from the family. What happens in between, as the recollections and memories of each member of the family is revealed, shines a light on the immigrant experience in America, in a new way.
This is a very powerful book that examines family dynamics and relationships in a Muslim family whose origins began in India, but who now reside in America. They are, essentially, strangers in a strange land, and
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although the children were born in America, they remain strangers, as well, in many ways. Rafiq, alone, had settled in America and made a good life for himself. He offered a marriage proposal to Layla's parents, in India, and Layla accepted it. She was raised to be obedient. She understood that her life would be determined by her husband’s life. This was all that a Muslim woman in India could expect and hope for. She had no idea what would await her in America, and she only hoped that her husband would be kind and not quick to anger. She was raised to serve him and his family.
Time passed and as their family grew, two daughters, Hadia and Huda, and a son, Amar, filled out their home. Although the marriage had been arranged, the two grew to care for each other and were happy. They lived a quiet life surrounded by friends who were similar to them in their views and lifestyle. They followed their religion, praying, obeying its laws and keeping the culture for themselves and their children.
However, life in America was different. It was more open. In school, the children were exposed to a less religious, less observant life. They began to feel different, and they began to want what the other children had in clothes, entertainment and opportunity. They wanted to belong. In their lifestyle, females were second class, but now their daughters wanted to have the same opportunities as sons. As their values, their religion and their culture were put to the test, Layla and Rafiq struggled to understand the problems they faced. They had no idea how to solve them. Their experience afforded them no ideas. The temptations here didn’t exist in their former lives. They did not know how to help or guide their children away from the temptations that would hurt them. They did not even recognize what was happening to their son when he became addicted to drugs and alcohol.
Sibling rivalry, inexperience, misunderstandings and sadly, ignorance, combined to create conflicts that could have been avoided had they had a better understanding of what was happening. Rafiq and Layla were naïve because these problems they faced were new to them. They were not problems in their former lives. In America, the rules were not so hard and fast and there was opportunity for abuse. Weakness and insecurity in a child inspired the disobedience and the need to escape what hurt them, by any means available.
The author illustrated the difficulty of adjusting to a strange, new environment, exposing the pitfalls and the consequences of innocent ignorance. The problems faced when one was not accepted on the basis of merit, but rather was judged by appearance and background, are examined carefully by this author. She illustrates the cultural divide and the bias that exists, even under the best of circumstances.
This Muslim family from India was upwardly mobile. They had identified with and accomplished the American dream without having to give up their culture, but the world, at large, and circumstances beyond their control, were interfering and complicating their simple way of life, making it harder for their children to accomplish the same dreams of their parents.
When the book begins, Rafiq and Layla are celebrating the marriage of their eldest daughter, Hadia, to a man she has chosen herself, defying tradition. She is hoping her estranged brother, Amar, will arrive. When the book ends, her brother Amar, is still estranged from the family. What happens in between, as the recollections and memories of each member of the family is revealed, shines a light on the immigrant experience in America, in a new way.
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LibraryThing member Beamis12
Wow!! I just blown away by the fact that this is a first novel, the story and theme so universal. A Muslim Indian family in America, trying to maintain it's own beliefs and culture, while facing modernity. This family, mother, father, two daughters ,Hadia and Huda, and the you test, a son Amar who
As they struggle to find their place in the larger world, the children also struggle to find their place in the family. Living up to parental expectations, or in Amar's case the struggle to find his place anywhere at all. Trying to carvea path between cultural and religious beliefs and the lessening of this expectation to fit with the place they now find themselves. The story of this family in all its totality is both moving and insightful. The barriers to acceptance by children and parents after 911, when all Muslims were viewed with suspicion and in many cases outright hate. By showing us the commonalities in their family and our own, this young author has shown us that ww may in fact may not be so different.
The last part of the book focuses on the father's point of view,alone. How he thought, what went wrong and what he wished he had done differently. It is full of anguish and remorse, and we clearly see for the first time what this Muslim, husband, father has gone through, from his own childhood to the way he tried to instill family values and religious beliefs in his children. It does end on a note of positivity, sadness yes, but hopefully as well. This is an outstanding piece of fiction, in my opinion, I quite frankly fell hard for this family, with all it's flaws and things mistakenly done out of love. I wasn't ready to leave them at books end, and I believe if you read, or at least I hope, that you will see some of the same values, if not the religious beliefs, that we try to instill in our own families.
This is also the first book published under the Sarah Jessica Parker imprint of Random House, and it is a wonderful beginning.
ARC from bookbrowse and Random House.
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never really feels he belongs. We come to know this family inside and out,the book starts with the marriage of Hadia,and then goes back and forth, to various beginnings and endings. While their beliefs may not be mine, many of the problems between parents and siblings are indeed universal. As they struggle to find their place in the larger world, the children also struggle to find their place in the family. Living up to parental expectations, or in Amar's case the struggle to find his place anywhere at all. Trying to carvea path between cultural and religious beliefs and the lessening of this expectation to fit with the place they now find themselves. The story of this family in all its totality is both moving and insightful. The barriers to acceptance by children and parents after 911, when all Muslims were viewed with suspicion and in many cases outright hate. By showing us the commonalities in their family and our own, this young author has shown us that ww may in fact may not be so different.
The last part of the book focuses on the father's point of view,alone. How he thought, what went wrong and what he wished he had done differently. It is full of anguish and remorse, and we clearly see for the first time what this Muslim, husband, father has gone through, from his own childhood to the way he tried to instill family values and religious beliefs in his children. It does end on a note of positivity, sadness yes, but hopefully as well. This is an outstanding piece of fiction, in my opinion, I quite frankly fell hard for this family, with all it's flaws and things mistakenly done out of love. I wasn't ready to leave them at books end, and I believe if you read, or at least I hope, that you will see some of the same values, if not the religious beliefs, that we try to instill in our own families.
This is also the first book published under the Sarah Jessica Parker imprint of Random House, and it is a wonderful beginning.
ARC from bookbrowse and Random House.
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LibraryThing member bookwyrmm
A little too much narrative and not enough dialogue. I loved the last part, though.
LibraryThing member PirateJenny
I read this for a book club/book swap. I don't really care for family drama literature and would not have picked this up otherwise. But the writing was excellent and the characters were very real. So if this sort of book is your thing, I do recommend it.
LibraryThing member shazjhb
Family drama featuring a Muslim family. The timeline was slightly frustrating especially as this book was filled with multiple twists and subplots.
LibraryThing member froxgirl
Sometimes having multiple narrators creates mass confusion, but in this heartbreaking yet hope-filled novel of Muslim-Americans from India, it works beautifully (except for the one character whose inner thoughts are unknown, which is problematical, since every other important thinker is heard. So I
Quotes: "I don't believe He created us just to leave some of us behind."
"I have given away the only power I had in this situation at all, the power of appearing unaffected."
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kept thinking, "What about Huda?" and it was distracting. My only criticism.) The positive and negative effects of living the constricted life of a devout Muslim in America are dramatically presented, although the family's stumbling blocks to happiness are not that different from what any family suffers - which I guess is one of the intended themes. People fall in love with the wrong people, fathers can't express joy as easily as disapproval, mothers have their favorites, some people feel everything more deeply and painfully - these are all common tropes in family sagas, but are particularly well-written here. The strategy of shifting time frames, not with alternating chapters as is so frequently overdone these days, brings later events into sharper focus.Quotes: "I don't believe He created us just to leave some of us behind."
"I have given away the only power I had in this situation at all, the power of appearing unaffected."
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LibraryThing member brangwinn
Having a child addicted to alcohol impacts way too many people, and in the close-knit Muslim community this family of immigrants suffers. Well-developed characters show how two parents can raise children and yet have one feel like they don’t belong. The writing is so strong and the characters so
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well developed, that I felt like I was reading the work of an experienced writer, not one just beginning her career. I look forward to more by Fatima Farheen Mirza. Show Less
LibraryThing member haymaai
As I navigated the pages of ‘A Place For Us,’ I felt like I was being transported into the lives of a Muslim immigrant family to realize all the constraints and religious culture that permeated through all aspects of their lives. What is so amazing, is that the debut author Fatima Mirza helps
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the reader to understand the many counterpoints of the Muslim-Indian culture, how Layla and Rafiq (the mother and father of the first generation) cling to strict observance of religious and familial traditions, while their two daughters, Hadia and Huda, break away from parental expectations to make meaningful lives for themselves. Hadia marries an Indian man of her own choosing, outside of the acceptable realm of her family’s culture. Both women establish themselves as successful individuals with careers in teaching and medicine, roles that might have remained unrealized had they lived by parental expectations. Meanwhile, their younger brother, Amar, becomes the ‘black sheep’, overtly castigating against the traditions of family and their community. He writes poetry in a notebook, much to the chagrin of his father, and eventually delves into drugs and alcohol as he navigates a slippery path toward finding himself. Although this book was culturally enlightening for me, it was not a quick read, and the plot moved methodically along, rather than at riveting pace. Nevertheless, I would recommend this novel as offering interesting perceptions of the Muslim immigrant experience as seen from various perspectives. Show Less
LibraryThing member deslivres5
A Place for Us follows a San Francisco-based family with Hyderabadi Shia Muslim roots living and interacting with their community. The novel tells the story of the family of five from the viewpoint of the father, mother, eldest daughter and son through a span of about 40 years (circa 1980-present
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day), jumping back and forth through the time periods, sometimes revisiting the same pivotal moments through a different person's perspective. The main thread throughout is the children's desires and issues with following the paths set out by their devout parents, and the father-son dynamic. I found Part 4 to be especially poignant and heart-breaking. Show Less
LibraryThing member miss.mesmerized
Hadia wünscht sich zu ihrer Hochzeit nichts mehr als das ihr Bruder Amar ebenfalls kommt. Sie hat ihn schon seit einiger Zeit nicht mehr gesehen und dann ist er plötzlich da. Allerdings laufen die Dinge nicht so glatt wie erhofft, aber das sind sie ja noch nie. Die Erinnerungen an die Kindheit
Das Buch löst beim Lesen völlig unterschiedliche Emotionen aus: Verwunderung, Anspannung, Wut, Verständnis. Ich bedauerte die Figuren, ich hasste sie, ich konnte sie verstehen und war dann wiederum verwundert über sie. Es gab vermutlich nur wenig im Emotionenspektrum, das nicht im Laufe der Handlung ausgelöst wurde. Viel mehr kann man kaum erwarten.
Inhaltlich bietet die Geschichte ebenfalls unheimlich viel, so dass man kaum weiß, wo man beginnen soll: die Familienbeziehungen, die in Frage gestellt werden; die Einwanderungsproblematik, wenn Eltern tradierte Werte weitergeben wollen und zugleich im neuen Land assimilieren müssen. Die Unterschiede, die zwischen Töchtern und Söhnen gemacht werden, Geschwisterrivalitäten und Eltern, die manchmal schlichtweg nicht wissen, wie sie agieren sollen.
Hadia war für mich interessanteste Figur. Auch wenn ihr Vater erklärt, dass er sie nur schützen möchte, letztlich beschränkt er die Freiheiten seiner Tochter massiv. Weder als Kind, noch als Jugendliche oder Erwachsene wird sie bei ihren Ideen und Wünschen unterstützt, da die Elternerwartungen so ganz andere sind als ihre eigenen Vorstellungen vom Leben. Dass sie als Mädchen geboren wurde, hat den Weg, den die Familie für die vorgesehen hat, gezeichnet und Abweichungen waren nicht geplant.
Rafiq kommt nie an den Punkt in seinen Töchtern gleichberechtigte Menschen zu sehen. Er kann nachvollziehen, welche Fehler er in der Erziehung Amars gemacht hat, aber letztlich kann er seine festgefahrenen Ansichten nicht loslassen. Seine Position und Sichtweise ist gleichzeitig bedauerns- und verabscheuenswert, aber leider auch sehr authentisch geschildert. Ganz sicher erlaubt seine Perspektive nachzuvollziehen, was hinter so mancher verschlossenen Tür vorgeht und womit Einwanderer in der neuen Freiheit kämpfen.
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werden wach: Vater Rafiq, der sein Heimatland im Mittleren Osten bereits als Teenager verließ, um in den USA ein besseres Leben zu haben. Mutter Layla, die mit der Hochzeit ins Land kam und ihrem Mann drei Kinder schenkte: Hadia, Huda und den kleinsten, Amar. Drei Kinder in muslimischem Glauben zu erziehen, wenn dieser tagtäglich von außen bedroht wird, ist kein einfaches Unterfangen. Konflikte sind vorprogrammiert und so kommt es schließlich zum Bruch, der Amar forttreibt. Und es gibt noch Geheimnisse, die seit Jahren unter der Oberfläche brodeln und am Hochzeitstag auszubrechen drohen.Das Buch löst beim Lesen völlig unterschiedliche Emotionen aus: Verwunderung, Anspannung, Wut, Verständnis. Ich bedauerte die Figuren, ich hasste sie, ich konnte sie verstehen und war dann wiederum verwundert über sie. Es gab vermutlich nur wenig im Emotionenspektrum, das nicht im Laufe der Handlung ausgelöst wurde. Viel mehr kann man kaum erwarten.
Inhaltlich bietet die Geschichte ebenfalls unheimlich viel, so dass man kaum weiß, wo man beginnen soll: die Familienbeziehungen, die in Frage gestellt werden; die Einwanderungsproblematik, wenn Eltern tradierte Werte weitergeben wollen und zugleich im neuen Land assimilieren müssen. Die Unterschiede, die zwischen Töchtern und Söhnen gemacht werden, Geschwisterrivalitäten und Eltern, die manchmal schlichtweg nicht wissen, wie sie agieren sollen.
Hadia war für mich interessanteste Figur. Auch wenn ihr Vater erklärt, dass er sie nur schützen möchte, letztlich beschränkt er die Freiheiten seiner Tochter massiv. Weder als Kind, noch als Jugendliche oder Erwachsene wird sie bei ihren Ideen und Wünschen unterstützt, da die Elternerwartungen so ganz andere sind als ihre eigenen Vorstellungen vom Leben. Dass sie als Mädchen geboren wurde, hat den Weg, den die Familie für die vorgesehen hat, gezeichnet und Abweichungen waren nicht geplant.
Rafiq kommt nie an den Punkt in seinen Töchtern gleichberechtigte Menschen zu sehen. Er kann nachvollziehen, welche Fehler er in der Erziehung Amars gemacht hat, aber letztlich kann er seine festgefahrenen Ansichten nicht loslassen. Seine Position und Sichtweise ist gleichzeitig bedauerns- und verabscheuenswert, aber leider auch sehr authentisch geschildert. Ganz sicher erlaubt seine Perspektive nachzuvollziehen, was hinter so mancher verschlossenen Tür vorgeht und womit Einwanderer in der neuen Freiheit kämpfen.
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LibraryThing member niquetteb
A novel surrounding a family of Indian-American Muslims. The story flashes back a few times, sometimes within the same chapter. This format can be confusing, but once the reader falls into step with the story,the exploration of family dynamics is revealed.
LibraryThing member alanna1122
I liked a lot about this book. It is a very rich detailed account of a first generation family's experience in the United States. I really enjoyed reading about all the customs and traditions of this family. I did wish that there was a glossary or footnotes in the book to help me along in learning
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and understanding. I spent a lot of time googling - not always successfully -- to get a picture or understanding of what was being discussed. The pacing of the book is also pretty slow. I found, particularly in the last quarter of the book that it really slowed down and it was a little harder to pick up. All in all though - my favorite books are family sagas and this was a good one that felt fresh to me. Show Less
LibraryThing member crazy4reading
I am only giving this book 3 stars because I just couldn't get into the characters. I had trouble keeping the characters straight along with trying to figure out what time period I was in. I felt the writing was a bit off for my liking.
When I started the book I really thought I was going to enjoy
The ending had more of my interest than the book as a whole did.
When I started the book I really thought I was going to enjoy
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it but when I started the second chapter I was confused because I went from the wedding to her being a young girl. Other books that I have read similar to this style have also been hard to enjoy.The ending had more of my interest than the book as a whole did.
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LibraryThing member dawnlovesbooks
A Place for Us is a lovely story about an Indian Muslim family living in America and the battles that they face. Fatima Farheen Mirza will dazzle you with her poetic writing and break your heart with this moving story. I did not want it to end!
The book begins as the family gathers for the wedding
Hadia’s whole life she has worked hard for her father’s approval. She resented the fact that, “Everyone important was a boy. It was the son they cherished, the son their pride depended on, the son who would carry their name into the next generation.” In the end she blames herself for Amar’s isolation from the family. Hadia: “She had taken from him what, in another life, would have belonged to him by birth. She had worked hard to be as valuable as any son. Hadia’s belonging was proof of her brother’s alienation.”
Amar was always a disturbing and reckless force. He constantly tested the limits of his father to see what he could get away with and he deserted his Muslim religion. He never felt at home and never felt his father’s love and approval.
Hadia and Huda were their father’s daughters. It was their father they tried to impress, his approval they sought. Amar had always been a mamma’s boy. His mother, Layla, says of her son: “He is persistent and demanding, he knows what he wants and is devastated if he does not attain it. It alarms her: how little it takes to darken his mood.” As Amar grows older and distant, Layla wonders, “What she could ever hope to know of him was just a glimpse-like the beam of a lighthouse skipping out, only one stretch of waves visible at a time, the rest left in the unknowable dark.”
Amar ran away after a bad fight with his father and never returned. They always had a tremulous relationship. Later in life, they both seem to regret the way they have hurt and treated one another. Amar, “wondered if he had turned his back on something far more meaningful than he realized the night he packed his bags in a hurry, thinking only of how angry he was, how harsh and unloving his father was about what Amar had no control over: who he was.” “He had been cheated out of knowing the best of his father; his father had reserved his kindness for others.”
The last section of the book is told from Baba’s (the father) point of view and I think it was the most poignant part of the book. Baba, says of Amar: “I felt like I did not know how to interact with you. I wonder now what we could have been had had the courage to lift you into my arms. And say, “I am here for you and you will never lose me.”
Everyone feels guilt and regret and wonders what they could have done differently to keep Amar at home with them. His mother, Layla also wonders, “Just how the limits to her belief in her son had so dangerously destroyed his possibilities.”
Amidst the family drama, they all have to deal with the hate and prejudice they endure from being a Muslim in America. Baba: “That was my fight: to continue to do little things for people around me, so no one would find fault in my demeanor and misattribute it to my religion.”
“How unlucky that one person has the power to determine the shape of another’s life.”
“There was nothing the human heart could not grow to endure, that the miracle of the human heart is that it expands its capacity to love, to accept.”
Please read it. It’s beautiful.
The book begins as the family gathers for the wedding
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of their oldest daughter, Hadia. Hadia’s brother, Amar ran away and abandoned the family years ago, but he returns for this special occasion and we begin to learn about the family’s past. Hadia’s whole life she has worked hard for her father’s approval. She resented the fact that, “Everyone important was a boy. It was the son they cherished, the son their pride depended on, the son who would carry their name into the next generation.” In the end she blames herself for Amar’s isolation from the family. Hadia: “She had taken from him what, in another life, would have belonged to him by birth. She had worked hard to be as valuable as any son. Hadia’s belonging was proof of her brother’s alienation.”
Amar was always a disturbing and reckless force. He constantly tested the limits of his father to see what he could get away with and he deserted his Muslim religion. He never felt at home and never felt his father’s love and approval.
Hadia and Huda were their father’s daughters. It was their father they tried to impress, his approval they sought. Amar had always been a mamma’s boy. His mother, Layla, says of her son: “He is persistent and demanding, he knows what he wants and is devastated if he does not attain it. It alarms her: how little it takes to darken his mood.” As Amar grows older and distant, Layla wonders, “What she could ever hope to know of him was just a glimpse-like the beam of a lighthouse skipping out, only one stretch of waves visible at a time, the rest left in the unknowable dark.”
Amar ran away after a bad fight with his father and never returned. They always had a tremulous relationship. Later in life, they both seem to regret the way they have hurt and treated one another. Amar, “wondered if he had turned his back on something far more meaningful than he realized the night he packed his bags in a hurry, thinking only of how angry he was, how harsh and unloving his father was about what Amar had no control over: who he was.” “He had been cheated out of knowing the best of his father; his father had reserved his kindness for others.”
The last section of the book is told from Baba’s (the father) point of view and I think it was the most poignant part of the book. Baba, says of Amar: “I felt like I did not know how to interact with you. I wonder now what we could have been had had the courage to lift you into my arms. And say, “I am here for you and you will never lose me.”
Everyone feels guilt and regret and wonders what they could have done differently to keep Amar at home with them. His mother, Layla also wonders, “Just how the limits to her belief in her son had so dangerously destroyed his possibilities.”
Amidst the family drama, they all have to deal with the hate and prejudice they endure from being a Muslim in America. Baba: “That was my fight: to continue to do little things for people around me, so no one would find fault in my demeanor and misattribute it to my religion.”
“How unlucky that one person has the power to determine the shape of another’s life.”
“There was nothing the human heart could not grow to endure, that the miracle of the human heart is that it expands its capacity to love, to accept.”
Please read it. It’s beautiful.
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LibraryThing member teachlz
My Review of “A Place For Us” by Fatima Farheen Mirza
Title: Family Tradition and Love
5 *****
“A Place for Us” by Fatima Farheen Mirza is intriguing and captivating story of an Indian-American Muslim family. The struggle and conflict of observing one’s faith, tradition, needs and wants is
The author describes her colorful cast of characters as complicated, complex and confused. The story can be told as seen through the eyes of each character. I appreciate that the author describes the religion, and traditions, culture and food, and clothing. Hadia, the oldest daughter in the family is getting married to a man that she chose herself, breaking away from the tradition of having a husband chosen for her. Hadia is a physician and has invited their estranged brother Amar to her wedding. Amar does come to the wedding, and surprises his parents Layla and Rafiq , and his other sister Huma. Betrayals, conflicts, and questions of forgiveness come up at this time.
The author describes the time period around 9/11, when Rafiq encourages his daughters to wear American clothes, not to be singled out. Amar gets into a major racist fight at school, when other students accuse him of being a terrorist. The students tell him to go home. Amar tries to deal with the fact that America is his home.
The author discusses the family dynamics of love, support , change, forgiveness, acceptance and hope. I would recommend this story for those readers who appreciate an emotional conflicted inspirational story. I received an ARC for my honest review.
Title: Family Tradition and Love
5 *****
“A Place for Us” by Fatima Farheen Mirza is intriguing and captivating story of an Indian-American Muslim family. The struggle and conflict of observing one’s faith, tradition, needs and wants is
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intense. A constant theme of finding balance in a complicated society. The genres for the novel are Fiction and Women’s Fiction. The story mostly takes place in California. The timeline in this story vacillate between the past and present as it pertains to the events and characters.The author describes her colorful cast of characters as complicated, complex and confused. The story can be told as seen through the eyes of each character. I appreciate that the author describes the religion, and traditions, culture and food, and clothing. Hadia, the oldest daughter in the family is getting married to a man that she chose herself, breaking away from the tradition of having a husband chosen for her. Hadia is a physician and has invited their estranged brother Amar to her wedding. Amar does come to the wedding, and surprises his parents Layla and Rafiq , and his other sister Huma. Betrayals, conflicts, and questions of forgiveness come up at this time.
The author describes the time period around 9/11, when Rafiq encourages his daughters to wear American clothes, not to be singled out. Amar gets into a major racist fight at school, when other students accuse him of being a terrorist. The students tell him to go home. Amar tries to deal with the fact that America is his home.
The author discusses the family dynamics of love, support , change, forgiveness, acceptance and hope. I would recommend this story for those readers who appreciate an emotional conflicted inspirational story. I received an ARC for my honest review.
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