Kohn questions why parenting literature focuses on compliance and quick fixes, and points out that docility and short-term obedience are not what most parents desire of their children in the long run. He insists that "controlling parents" are actually conveying to their kids that they love them conditionally—that is, only when they achieve or behave. Kohn suggests parents help kids solve problems; provide them with choices; and use reason, humor and, as a last resort, a restorative time away (not a punitive time-out).
Atria Books (2006), Edition: 1, 272 pages
Original publication date
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0743487486 / 9780743487481
272 p.; 5.5 inches