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Family & Relationships. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML: In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the bestselling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life. In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse - and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior - from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse. Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse - and the abuser. This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!.… (more)
User reviews
I reread it to help me deal with two relatives I can't avoid completely. I'd forgotten so much! I had already figured out that one was just projecting her own self-hatred on to me, but I was being driven crazy by the other. How could I explain things so that I didn't get snapped or yelled at? I can't. It has nothing to do with me except that I'm a safe target. When the most recent incident happened, I realized that a visit to the doctor that same day would be bound to make the relative feel powerless, so of course I got snapped at.
I'm no longer torturing myself wondering if it would be a good time to explain what I meant and how to explain. That, in itself, was worth the price of the book.
If you're not sure that you're being verbally abused, read the checklists early in chapter one. (One is for overt verbal abuse. The other is for covert verbal abuse.) If you're being verbally abused, save your sanity and buy this book. If you can't afford it, see if you can borrow it from or through your local library.
If you have children, there's a chapter about children and verbal abuse, including how to support your child if someone verbally abuses him or her.
The chapter about choosing the right therapist should be helpful to victims seeking help. The letter from a woman unfortunate enough to try couples counseling with a psychologist who didn't understand the dynamics of verbally abusive relationship is an example of a 'helper' more harm than good.
I am so glad I kept this book!
If you or someone you know answers "yes" to one or more of the following questions, this book is required reading: a) Does your partner seem irritated or angry at you several times a week? -- b) Does he deny being angry when he clearly is? -- c) Do your attempts to discuss feelings of pain
In this book, you'll find validation and understanding -- "it not all in your head"--And encouragement for your efforts to change the situation. In this second edition, Patricia explores the damaging effects of verbal abuse on children and the family, and offers valuable insight and recommendations to therapists, as well as those who seek therapeutic support.
Contents:
Evaluating your own experience -- Two kinds of power: a broad perspective -- Personal power: a look at reality II -- The abuser and the abusive relationship: a look at reality I -- The consequences of verbal abuse -- The partner's feelings -- Obstacles and indicators -- Characteristics and categories of verbal abuse -- The anger addict -- Conditioning and the partner -- The recognition of verbal abuse and asking for change -- Responding with impact to verbal abuse -- Recovery -- Looking back -- The underlying dynamics: some reasons why -- About therapy -- and for the therapist -- Children and verbal abuse -- Frequently asked questions.