Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

by John Elder Robison

Paperback, 2008

Status

Available

Publication

Three Rivers Press (2008), Edition: Reprint, 302 pages

Description

Biography & Autobiography. Psychology. Nonfiction. HTML:Ever since he was small, John Robison had longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits–an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes–had earned him the label “social deviant.” No guidance came from his mother or his father. It was no wonder he gravitated to machines, which could, at least, be counted on. After fleeing his parents and dropping out of high school, his savant-like ability to visualize electronic circuits landed him a gig with KISS. Later, he drifted into a “real” job, as an engineer for a major toy company. But the higher Robison rose in the company, the more he had to pretend to be “normal” and do what he simply couldn’t: communicate. It was not until he was forty that an insightful therapist told him he had the form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome. That understanding transformed the way Robison saw himself–and the world. Robison also provides a fascinating reverse angle on the younger brother he left at the mercy of their nutty parents–the boy who would later change his name to Augusten Burroughs. Ultimately, this is the story of Robison’s journey from his world into ours, a strange, sly, indelible account–sometimes alien, yet always deeply human.… (more)

Media reviews

Since learning about Asperger's, I have read just about every personal account I can find with regard to Asperger's. While I found all of them interesting, I can't think of one that I would have called warm or engaging - until I read John Elder Robison's memoir Look Me In The Eye: My Life With
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Asperger's. ...Mr. Robison tells a story that is at once heartbreaking, inspiring and funny....Mr. Robison's life is a testament to the fact that a life with Asperger's can be as rich as anyone else's - despite the challenges.
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User reviews

LibraryThing member SqueakyChu
Recently I’ve been doing some reading about Asperger’s syndrome so I decided to give this book a try. Its author, John Elder Robison, is the brother of author Augusten Burroughs, best known for [Running for Scissors], a memoir of growing up in a dysfunctional family. Cutting back to John who,
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as the older brother, remembers more of his parent’s marital history, the reader is again hit with the same difficult family situation. In this book’s sad beginning, John tells of his father’s drunkenness and violence as well as his own loneliness in childhood for being “different”. John does not repeat his brother’s story except to tell how his younger brother was part of his life.

The finest part of this book was the second half. There John relates briefly the story of his two marriages and his relationship with his son. He talks about career choices, those that worked for him and those that did not. Even more important, he tells about TR Rosenberg, a therapist who confronted him with specifics of what has made him “different” and what this discovery has meant to him. He ends on the bittersweet note of making peace with his parents. In the very final pages, he offers encouragement and hope to other individuals by suggesting resources including books to read and websites to view.

I found this to be quite a worthwhile read. I enjoyed talking about this book with my husband who also recently read it. In addition, I was happy to learn that the author will soon have a new book about Asperger’s syndrome coming out this month. I’m looking forward to reading that book as well.
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LibraryThing member HankIngram
As a person with Aspergers, I could relate somewhat to the writer. He manages to make the topic interesting even though it is a personal story rather than an autobiography. I'm not sure how a non-Asperger's person would relate to it however. As with most AD writers, it is very self-focused. You
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sometimes wonder why important people disappear from sight e.g. his wife.
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LibraryThing member DetectiveManders
This book was a revelation to me. The title caught my eye simply because I've been told that several times. Then reading through his childhood memories like they were my own had my heart racing. This book brought out emotions in me I never knew I had and had me weeping at several points. I can't
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really describe how much this book means to me personally. I have aspergers. This book opened up for me a world I didn't know I was a part of. It gave me understanding and something to blame for my weirdness. It's truly a wonderful book.
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LibraryThing member msbaba
I’ve been interested in Asperger’s Syndrome for more than 15 years, ever since articles about the syndrome first started to appear in popular newspapers and magazines. It was obvious to me from the very beginning that the academic world in which I worked had an unusually high number of these
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brilliant, but decidedly weird, personalities. I wanted to know more about these colleagues that seemed to think and act so differently from the norm.

When autobiographies by Aspergians started to appear in publication, I snapped them up and read them eagerly. One of the very first was Temple Grandin’s Thinking in Pictures: and Other Reports from my Life with Autism. She became widely known when the famous neurologist and author, Oliver Sacks, wrote about her in his bestselling book An Anthropologist on Mars. I recommend both of these books highly.

Autobiographies are great, but there is nothing like the power of fiction to get a reader deeply inside the mind of another human being! There are two outstanding works of fiction that are told from the perspective of someone on the high end of the autism spectrum: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon, and The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon. I also recommend both of these books highly.

A few weeks ago, discovered that there was a new Aspergian autobiography on the market: John Elder Robison’s Look Me in the Eye: My Life With Asperger’s. I ordered it immediately. Yesterday, I picked up the book after breakfast and was surprised to find that I had completely finished it by later that same afternoon.

What a delightful, and often humorous, book this was! The book is mainly a collection of stories from the Robison’s unusual life. The writing is surprisingly fresh, honest, and emotionally open. The stories are full of amazingly dysfunctional parents, geeky pranks, and weird happenings. Though them, and many inward-looking passages found throughout the book, Robison gives us keen insight into the mind and thinking processes of a high-functioning person with Asperger’s Syndrome, aptly named by Robison throughout this work as Aspergians.

Other reviewers have covered well what is included in these stories and how Robison’s life and this book relates to his younger brother’s bestselling book and major motion picture Running with Scissors, so I won’t cover those aspects here.

What I do want to add that as is wholly new, is that this book is a great companion-piece to The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science by Norman Doidge. This absolutely fascinating new book gives an easily readable, enjoyable, and thought-provoking nonprofessional overview of the new science of neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections over the life span. This is what Robison was able to do—completely by himself, without professional intervention. As you read this book, you’ll be able to see how Robison was able to rewire his brain, and eventually to make himself more normal.

Robison, the adult accomplished 40-year-old author who writes this book, no longer possesses the same brain wiring problems that his younger self had to deal with. That is why this book can be told with such a high degree of emotional openness and understanding. Toward the end of the book, Robison talks with great understanding briefly about the new science of neuroplasticity and how he is confident that he has been able to slowly rewire his brain over the last two decades of his life.

This is what is wonderful about this book. For me, it was not so much a good book about Aspergians, but it was a fascinating tale about an Aspergian who was able to rewire his brain successfully to respond more normally to life.

If this aspect of Robison’s autobiography interests you, then by all means, read The Brain That Changes Itself. There you will find numerous real-life stories about people, with a wide range of disabilities, who were able to achieve successfully what seemed—until only very recently—an impossible task: changing their brains and conquering their disabilities. Norman Doidge’s neuroplasticity book gets my unqualified highest recommendation. It will change the way you look at the world and you will be able to understand, on an easily understandable scientific level, what Robison was able to do to his Aspergian brain over the last two decades.

So, what do I feel about Robison’s book in general? Well, it was easy and pleasant to read and well worth the time and effort. There are perhaps better books that take you deeper into the mind of an Aspergian. But no book out there shows you a better real-life example of the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections over the life span. I’d give it three stars for the storytelling, three stars for the writing, three stars for the insight it brings to bear on Asperger’s Syndrome, but four stars on what it brings to bear on the new science of neuroplasticity, and for me, that last one out weighs all the rest.
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LibraryThing member indygo88
This book appealed to me for a couple of reasons. First, I enjoy Augusten Burroughs' writing & when I heard his brother wrote a memoir of sorts, my curiosity my sparked & I felt like I needed to read about someone else in this eccentric family. Second, I come in contact with a fair amount of
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children with Asperger's in my line of work, & I was interested in hearing about an Aspie's life from his own point of view.

For both those familiar with Asperger's or for those who aren't, this is an enlightening account of what it's like growing up & living with a condition that many people just consider odd, rude, or plain quirky behavior. Since Asperger's wasn't identified as such until relatively recently, John Robison wasn't able to really understand why he is the way he is until he was a middle-aged adult. This memoir portrays his struggles to fit in as a child and as a young adult, and even today. As he's reached a better understanding of his diagnosis and has learned how to better adapt to the social intricacies of "typical" people, he's become a happier and more stable person.

Robison's writing style is very different than that of his brother's; however, I enjoyed reading about growing up in a very dysfunctional family from his point of view. His writing style is a bit more concrete & he has a very deadpan sort of humor. It's often difficult to tell whether he's trying to be funny or if that's just his Aspergian tendencies. His story, esp. in the later chapters, fluctuates between personal anecdotes & self-reflection in light of being an Aspie. I would recommend this book not for its entertainment value, but for its ability to bring to light a condition that is becoming more and more identified & prevalent in today's society.
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LibraryThing member summerinabaddon
Having recently discovered my brother was diagnosed with Asperger's, this was an interesting read. It's obvious that Asperger's is only part of John Robison's wild, exciting and sometimes a bit scary life. However, the disorder has helped define him in the end. This was an enjoyable memoir about a
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life with many obstacles, only one of which was Asperger's.
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LibraryThing member bnbooklady
From Augusten Burroughs's half-brother John Elder Robison comes Look Me in the Eye: My Life With Asperger's, a funny, insightful memoir about growing up different, struggling to fit in, and learning to march to the beat of your own drum. Robison writes about his childhood, explaining that, though
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he wanted to make friends and fit in, he just never quite got it right, and everyone around him assumed he preferred to be a loner. He recalls observing others' behavior--shaking hands, making eye contact, engaging in small talk--and making concerted efforts to understand why they did these things and to practice them himself, though they didn't seem to make much sense. Throughout his childhood, Robison's parents and teachers badgered him to "look me in the eye," which was painful and nearly impossible for him.

Though he wasn't very good with interpersonal interactions, Robison displayed extraordinary skill with cars, electronics, and audio-visual displays, and in his 20s, he became a techie for Kiss and went on to design their light-up flaming guitars. He still felt that he wasn't "normal," but he was finding a way to make a life for himself. Robison did not know about Asperger's until a few years ago, when a psychologist friend who had read a paper about it suggested that he might have it. Upon discovering that he was an "Aspergian" (Robison's neologism for those who have the syndrome), he did not lament the years of confusion and frustration but gained a deeper appreciation for the ways in which his challenges allowed him to be creative and make his own way in life. Look Me in the Eye is funny, charming, inspiring and delightfully un-clinical. It is a wonderful resource for anyone who knows, lives with, or works with someone who has an autism-spectrum disorder, and it is a great for those curious minds that just want to hear another perspective. This book is in my top five for the year, and its cover is an all-time favorite.
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LibraryThing member NativeRoses
Heartfelt memoir from John Elder Robison, a man who grew up feeling like a defective freak because of his Asperger's syndrome. A mix of humor and pain, his memoir is a strong plea for tolerance and understanding. Robison hopes that fewer kids will grow up feeling lonely because people think they
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want to be alone; he hopes people will understand that many kids on the spectrum of autism want to connect but haven't yet developed the skills needed to play with other kids. In addition to having Asperger's Robison grew up in a violently dysfunctional family (his brother, Augusten Burroughs, describes it from his perspective in Running with Scissors). Robison found his own ways to escape including using his mechanical genius to create one jaw dropping teenage prank (involving police, firemen, EMTs) after another. Although high school wasn't a good fit, he eventually found ways to use his skills in creative, productive ways as an adult. Great read.
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LibraryThing member kaelirenee
Understanding the mind of an Aspergian is often difficult. Despite their intelligence and grasp of language, their ability to express their feelings, emotions, and motivation is almost negligable. Robison grew up undiagnosed and misunderstood. Luckily, he now has a grasp of communication and an
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understanding of "normal" folks that allows him to explain his growing up and many of the issues that plague Aspergians and the people who love them-and misunderstand them.

It is important to remember while reading his book that Aspies often forget that other people don't want to hear every detail of the things that interest them-he goes on and on about guitar designs, circuit designs, train brake systems...he seriously spends more time on a single guitar's description than he does on the entire first decade of his child's life. But if there is someone with AS in your life, this is a great book to read to understand the things happening in his head that he can't describe this well.

Oh, and the author is the brother of the guy who wrote "Running with Scissors." I haven't read that book and don't feel I've missed anything in the plot by skipping it.
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LibraryThing member airdna
This remarkable memoir, from the older brother of Augusten Burroughs, gives readers a glimpse into the mind of a young man growing up with undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome, and as such is an invaluable resource for understanding the unique workings of the autistic brain. But there's more to it than
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that. In the introduction, Burroughs praises his brother's gift for storytelling -- and that's what this book is: a collection of fascinating stories from a man who has lived a remarkable life. A must-read for anyone with a family member affected by an austism spectrum disorder, and for Burroughs' fans who want to read more about the older brother referenced in Running with Scissors and Magical Thinking, and the dysfunctional family life that spawned both boys.
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LibraryThing member horomnizon
A fascinating biography: I had not read his brother's book (Running with Scissors) yet, so I was unfamiliar with his family history, but Robison apparently is telling a different part of the story, anyway.

Anyone who has ever met somebody with Asperger's can benefit from reading this book. Anyone
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who doesn't think they have met somebody with Asperger's is probably wrong....you just may not have known it, but you probably walked away thinking "That guy/gal was a bit strange." Here, Robison lets us inside his head a bit to help us understand what he is thinking at various times and to see the developments in his life that have allowed him to overcome many of the difficulties of his childhood and find his place in the world.

Granted, his unusual home situations were another thing to overcome, but the most interesting part to me were his thought processes and why he believes, looking back, he did or liked doing or didn't like doing certain things.

Overall, it is also well-written and interesting just as an autobiography of somebody who worked on staging concerts for the likes of KISS and some other big hit bands of the 1970s.
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LibraryThing member readaholic12
Fascinating view into the Aspergian mind; amazing journey of self discovery, and an interesting supplement to Augusten Burrough's work as well. A very quick read.
LibraryThing member cefeick
I picked up this book because of the author's Asperger's, and because the book jacket mentioned him touring with KISS. It's an interesting look into the world of someone with Asperger's. Typical of someone on the autism spectrum, each chapter reads like a short story, with little connection between
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each, which caused me to lose interest.
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LibraryThing member ccaro25
Wow Its been a long time since I enjoyed a book as much as I have this one. I was made aware of aspergers by my daughter who is a teacher,and was facinated by the topic. This book certainly gives insite into the condition. I found it remarkable that the the author was able to give the reader an
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insite into his world and how it differs from mine. I highly recommend this book
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LibraryThing member debs4jc
This is an enthralling story of a man overcoming the multiple challenges life threw his way. Robison (who is the brother of author Austen Burroughs) give us his own take on life with his highly dysfunctional family, where he had the added challenge of being born different. He later learned that he
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has Asperger's, but growing up he and others just thought he was odd in the way he interacted with others. Still, he eventually managed to find a niche for himself in the local music scene designing and repairing sound equipement, which led to his involvement with big name bands such as Kiss (this is one of the most interesting parts of the book). The audio narrator did a fine job with this recording, delivering Robison's words in the same matter of fact tone that he seems to have written them in. Some of his interests may not interest all readers, but I chalked up his obsessions to the different way his brain views the world. I enjoy stories of how people manage to survive and thrive in the most difficult circumstances, and this was another one of those stories that just fascinated me. So if you enjoy those types of stories as well, give this one a listen!
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LibraryThing member apartmentcarpet
Written by the brother of Agusten Burroughs (of Running With Scissors fame), this is a story about growing up different. John Elder Robison has Asperger's Syndrome, but wasn't diagnosed until middle age. He grew up in a broken family and had to learn to cope with the rest of the world, while not
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understanding how other people work. The most interesting parts of the book are where he talks about being an effect engineer and touring with Kiss. While the writing isn't the best, and parts of the story should have been edited out just for their mind-numbing boredom, the book is mostly a fascinating look at a different type of mind.
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LibraryThing member tgoodson
I probably should gain sympathy for the author, but I can't.
LibraryThing member lildrafire
Written by the brother of the guy who wrote "Running with Scissors," this book is highly entertaining while giving an inside look at Asperger's Syndrome, a slight form of autism. Robison is candid about his feelings, his dysfunctional family life, his time working with the band KISS--but through it
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all he tells the stories with a sense of humor. Highly recommended.
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LibraryThing member alliegator321
I usually don't enjoy reading memiors (perhaps I've been reading the wrong ones?), but this book immediately drew me in, and I spent all day reading it. John Robison has some interesting insights into his thought processes that I hadn't ever thought about before, even after working with children
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with autism.

He has had interesting life experiences and shares them in a way that is hilariously funny, and sometimes sad.
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LibraryThing member brianinbuffalo
I expected more, and not because Augusten Burroughs is the author's older brother. I was unaware of this tidbit until listening to Burroughs' introduction.
Knowing very little about asperger's, I looked forward to learning about this syndrome and how it affects one's life. Robison provides some
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intriguing insights, woven together with a number of lively anecdotes. But in instances too numerous to list, I think Robison focuses too much energy elaborating on things that don't merit extensive treatment. One glaring example: the author spends more time recounting his love for trains than he does tracing the reasons for his failed marriage. In some spots, I had a nagging hunch Robison was intentionally skirting some important subplots.
Having said that, I'm glad I listened to this work (even though I wasn't enthralled with Robison's narration). "Look Me in the Eye" helped me to understand asperger's and how it shapes many aspects of a person's life.
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LibraryThing member mochap
Fascinating memoire of a man w/Asperger's Syndrome (made even more interesting due to the fact that Robison is Augusten Burroughs' older brother).
LibraryThing member sonyagreen
I'm reasonably happy with this book. Judging the cover, I didn't think it would be any good. Then I saw that Augusten Burroughs wrote the intro, so I thought it must be good. Then I read that Augusten is the author's brother, which made me think it isn't any good.

But I started it anyway.

And it is
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good. It's not written with the same scathing wit of Augusten, but in a nice, refreshing way - like I could hang out with the author.

There's also some pleasing crossover of life details with the brothers, which adds a satisfying amount of triangulation.

It's a biography more than a story of autism, but I don't feel cheated out of reading about autism.

I was reading it this morning before I left the house for work, and as I walked outside I felt like I had been awake for hours, because the book is so engaging and rapid-paced (without feeling rushed at all). It was a nice feeling.

After finishing the book, I have to say it was a good read.
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LibraryThing member KoryChase
Good book, a little slow in the middle. The last two chapters were very interesting if you are into aspergers.
LibraryThing member ladycato
Since I have a autistic three-year-old, I've been reading many books on the autism spectrum. Look Me In the Eye is a memoir, and a very well-done one. It's a fast read, detailing how Robison was a misfit as a child, how his parents were nuts, and how he struggled to assert himself as an adult. It's
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a very positive, uplifting story. Robison made many hard choices - such as dropping out of high school - but he followed his savant inclinations, fought past his own doubts, and taught himself how to socialize. His story is very honest and unflattering at times, but he shows how he has grown as a person and come to embrace Asperger's as being an integral part of himself. I found his guitar inventions for KISS to be particularly fascinating - I'm not a KISS fan, but I do know about their guitars! It's a great behind-the-scenes peek at the genius of innovation.
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LibraryThing member cms519
I was surprised by how descriptive this book was, particularly the first two thirds. The last several chapters of the book, once John learns about his Asperger's diagnosis reads much more the way I expected this book to read-- his thoughts are logical, organized in a way that makes logical sense
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but that doesn't have great literary rhythm. I enjoyed those chapters the most because they felt the most authentic and unedited.
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Language

Original language

English

Original publication date

2007

Physical description

302 p.; 7.98 inches

ISBN

0307396185 / 9780307396181
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