The Five Love Languages of Children

by Gary D. Chapman

Paperback, 1997



Local notes

EC Spirituality


Northfield Publishing (1997), Edition: 1, 224 pages


Family & Relationships. Nonfiction. HTML: Does your child speak a different language? Sometimes they wager for your attention, and other times they ignore you completely. Sometimes they are filled with gratitude and affection, and other times they seem totally indifferent. Attitude. Behavior. Development. Everything depends on the love relationship between you and your child. When children feel loved, they do their best. But how can you make sure your child feels loved? Since 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman's best-selling book The 5Love Languages has helped millions of couples develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships by teaching them to speak each others' love language. Each child, too, expresses and receives love through one of five different communication styles. And your love language may be totally different from that of your child. While you are doing all you can to show your child love, he may be hearing it as something completely opposite. Discover your child's primary language and learn what you can do to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, affection, and commitment that will resonate in your child's emotions and behavior..… (more)


Original language


Physical description

224 p.; 6 inches

User reviews

LibraryThing member serbook
Good read for any parent. Opens your eye to the necessity of continuously showing love to your child in the way that the child is sensitive to. Eg some children feel loved when you hug them, others prefer you to spend quality time with them
LibraryThing member herebedragons
For some reason, the premise of this book just didn't grab my attention. It seemed overly contrived to me, and there are loads of better books out there about meeting children's needs. Or, you could just try spending time with your kids and finding out that way.
LibraryThing member gnbclibrary
The authors show parents how to speak their child's "love language," which will help them improve their parent/child relationship and help to meet their children's deepest emotional needs.
LibraryThing member mama_kanga
This is the first "Love Languages" book that I have read. It gave great insight into children and the ways they express and understand love. It also provided ideas on positive parenting and discipline with love.
LibraryThing member Jubercat
This book has been extremely helpful in parenting my daughter. A friend recommended this, and while I didn't relate to the religious content of the book, it didn't overwhelm the rest. I wasn't surprised to learn that "Quality Time" was my daughter's preferred love language. What is helpful are the
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suggestions for creative ways to achieve it, especially for working and busy parents who might otherwise try to use gifts or verbal acknowledgment (as we did) to replace what the child actually craves.
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LibraryThing member alekee
This is a must have book for all parents. Each child, as we all know, is different. This book is a good reminder of the ways we show our Children "Love". It is not the same for each Child in the family. There are some really good examples shown in the book, and it is a good reminder.
Sometimes we
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try so hard to be doing the right things and we fail to understand that we need to do things differently. I recommend reading this book for some great insights, and applying them in real life!

“Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or
services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it
on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally
and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance
with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the
Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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LibraryThing member ReviewsFromTheHeart
We all understand the importance of loving our children and showing them how much they are loved, but did you know that there are ways of showing our children love that really speak volumes to them and their heart? It's true, just like there are languages that speak to the adult hearts, our
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children have different needs that show them that we truly love them. Each has a unique language that speaks love to them.

This is why often times we may bend over backwards as a parent and our children still look at us, telling us that they desperately need to feel our love. What is happening is that we aren't speaking the same languages that they need. There are 5 love languages that speak to our children and sometimes there is a combination that works well for our kids. Some love Words of Affirmation, being told what a great job they are doing, how much we love and care for them, acknowledgement that we see what they are doing and praising them. While for yet other children, Acts of Service, speaks to their hearts, such as doing kind deeds for them, taking them to lunch, or a ball game, just spending time with them, and yet another is Physical Touch. These are the children who thrive on hugs and kisses and touch instead of words or actions by us.

Authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell have collaborated to help parents speak the language of love our children so desperately need to hear in their book, The 5 Love Languages of Children. In this book not only do they break down each of these in detail, but it also includes a game to help both parents and children understand what works well for them. This way we can speak love to our children without being frustrated on both ends. It can also help us discipline our children more effectively when it needs to be addressed. This is a must read for anyone who deals with children, whether it be parents, grandparents and even child care givers or teachers!

I received this book compliments of Propeller and Northfield Publishing for my honest review and learning so much about the love languages when it comes to adults, this seemed a natural for me to read as a parent. So many times with multiple children we try not to appear to favor one child over the other but often times find our actions frustrating when they don't respond as we would hope. This book really helps to identify what works for each child. I rate this one a 5 out of 5 stars and seeing it benefiting even teachers who may be frustrated in reaching children who are struggling with learning. This book speak volumes to the hearts of our children.
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LibraryThing member TheMadTurtle
Although I had heard people talk about the five love languages, this is the first book on them that I've ever read. I enjoyed the book and learning about each love language and thinking about our boys and trying to determine what their love language might be. I thought the last couple of chapters
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drifted a little off topic, though.
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LibraryThing member silva_44
While I found a lot of the stories about parents and their children very tragic, I enjoyed learning about how to love children in a way that will be most meaningful to them. I especially enjoyed the chapter about teaching children how to deal with their anger in an appropriate way.
LibraryThing member nmarun
Both my wife and I read the Five Languages of Love book and that definitely benefited us. We both read this one too and agree that it has provided deep insights into loving our child more.

The tips that the authors provide regarding discovering your child's primary love language are elegantly
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simple. They just make complete sense. Also, the pointers on 'what do to if [x] is your child's primary love language', at the end of the chapters, are quite enlightening.

The chapter on disciplining was fascinating as well. It says 'ask "What my child needs when he misbehaves?" instead of "What should I do to correct his behavior?"' - neat, real neat. It goes on to say that disciplining should be done only when the child's love tank is full, else the child will develop a resentful mindset.

Fathers (myself included) - apparently there's a 11-yr study that says that children grow up much better when we are involved with them during their childhood days.

While reading the book I was trying to identify the primary love language of our (almost) 4yr old. But the authors say that below 5, children expect to be loved in all of the 5 ways and that's very true of our kid.

"Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't matter. What you do with your children will matter forever." - absolutely true (especially for the corporate employees).
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LibraryThing member CatherineBird
I read this book before reading the 5 Love languages for couples. I love how in depth the book goes to help us identify what our children's love language is. I agree that it is hard to determine the love language of a child under a certain age, however, I have been able to figure out that our 3
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year old's love language is definitely touch. While I'm sure he has awhile before we can have an idea of his secondary, it is apparent that he is a toucher.

I didn't realize that we all receive love differently until I read this book. It helped me pinpoint which love languages my older children feel loved. It should have been a given since they both enjoy quality time, but I didn't realize that is how they feel loved.

I plan on reading this for a second time because it is that great!
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LibraryThing member BeautyintheBinding
In The 5 Love Languages of Children, Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell apply Chapman's popular concept of the five love languages to the parent-child relationship. Each of the five love languages is explained and examples are given of how to use (and how not to use) a child's love language.
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Parents are encouraged to love their children unconditionally, which is sometimes not as easy as one would assume it to be, and to successfully express that love to a child.

I found The 5 Love Languages of Children to be insightful and challenging. The explanations of each language were informative, but the real life examples were what I found to be most helpful. There is a full chapter as well as a love language “game” at the end dedicated to help parents correctly identify how a child gives and receives love. At times, the book was a bit overwhelming to me as it felt like I have to do everything perfectly or I'm going to really mess my child up. I know that was not the authors' intention and maybe not everyone will get that feeling, but that's how it was for me.

The 5 Love Languages of Children is geared for children above age five. My child is only two which is a bit young for her love language to be obvious. The authors say five is usually the minimum age before a child's love language can be determined as it's prone to fluctuate in the early years. Therefore, a lot of the information was good, but not completely relevant to me. The main points I was able to take away from the book were: unconditional love is the desire of a child's heart, whether or not a child's love needs are fulfilled will affect them positively or negatively, and it's important to practice all five love languages at this point. I plan to keep The 5 Love Languages of Children and will probably revisit it in a few years.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
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LibraryThing member deusvitae
An exploration of the five love language premise--physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service--but this time in terms of children.

The authors do well at shifting the premise from its original grounding in marital relationships and encourages parents to recognize
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their children's primary love language. The authors point out the challenges which come with children who are often unable to properly verbally express whatever they are feeling and often just get frustrated, rebellious, or act out in other ways; the burden of responsibility is much higher on the parents in this circumstance. The authors also apply the love languages and their lessons to handling discipline and fostering instruction. They also work to give encouragement to single parents; for married parents, importance is placed on making sure each spouse knows the other's love language and acts accordingly, providing a good model for children.

Beneficial for parents.
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LibraryThing member Pammela
Aware that each one of my sons were 3 indiviual people, with their own unique makeup, I selected this book as a desire to understand their love language and how I was communicating my love to them. This book is an easy read and an excellent help to parents. As you learn the 5 love languages you can
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adapt to each child as necessary. Which is very important if you want to communicate your love in the language that they understand best. I learned that there are no cookie-cutter-molds for love; one 'love shoe' does NOT fit all sizes! A must read for any parent or caretaker of children. I gained a wealth of knowledge from this book.
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½ (139 ratings; 3.8)
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