Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory

by Caitlin Doughty

Paperback, 2015

Status

Available

Call number

363.7

Collection

Publication

WW Norton (2015), Edition: Reprint, 272 pages

Description

The blogger behind the popular Web series Ask a Mortician describes her experiences working at a crematory, including how she sometimes got ashes on her clothes and how she cared for bodies of all shapes and sizes.

User reviews

LibraryThing member TooBusyReading
“A girl always remembers the first corpse she shaves.”

If you're not afraid to look death in the eye, this book is for you. And if you are afraid, perhaps even more importantly, this book is for you.

The author has always been interested in death, not necessarily making her the most popular kid
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on the school playground. So it was only natural that she got a job in a crematory, and she shares her experiences with anyone willing to read about them.

Sure, some of this book may seem ghoulish. The author pulls no punches in describing bodies in various states of decay, funeral preparation practices, some of the secrets of the funereal business.

Still, she does it with great respect and insight. I never felt that she was writing this book to titillate her readers. She has a mission. She wants to replace the overly sanitized American way of dealing with corpses with a more natural, less fearful way. She wants people to be able to accept that death happens to all of us, not in some morbid obsession, but as a natural progression of life. And she makes her points beautifully.

She even writes about suicide. She is amazingly nonjudgmental, even about suicide, but is judgmental about the way some choose to commit suicide.

There is quite a bit of information about rituals around the world and ages, and the reasons for those rituals. There is some small humor, but not at the expense of the bodies she cares for. And there is lots of information about cremation and embalming, little details that most of us don't know and some of us would rather not find out.

The writing is solid, concise, not flowery or euphemistic.

Not terribly long ago, I read a memoir about a young woman who worked in a mortuary: Nine Years Under. And I really disliked that book. The humor was too often cruel, the young woman was flippant, disrespectful, and showed a lack of compassion. It left a bad taste in my mouth

This book is everything that one was not, and I am very glad I've read it.

I was given an advance readers copy of this book for review, so the quote may have changed in the published edition.
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LibraryThing member shelleyraec
I've already informed my family that when I die I want what is left of my body (I'm a registered organ donor) to be delivered directly to the crematorium - there is to be no coffin, no viewing, no funeral service, and afterwards they are welcome to do whatever they like with my ashes, whether that
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be keep them, scatter them or inter them in a wall. To me this seem practical, and is as much thought as I have given to the inevitably of my death.

Few people like to dwell on the fate of their 'mortal coil', but Caitlin Doughty has always had a morbid fascination with death, reinforced when, as a child, she witnessed a toddler plunge three stories to her death in a shopping mall. At twenty three, with a degree in Medieval Studies, she secured a job as a crematory operator at Westwind Cremation and Burial, confronting her curiousity and concerns head on.

In Smoke Gets in Your Eyes Doughty blends the tales of her experiences at Westwind, and later as a licensed mortician, with a brief historical and cultural overview of death rituals, and her philosophical musings. She feels strongly that modern day western society is too removed from the processes of death and is an advocate for 'death awareness' - working to redefine culture’s relationship to mortality, grief, and death customs. To this end she co founded The Order of the Good Death and hosts a YouTube series called Ask a Mortician, and the thrust of this book asks the reader to consider their end of life choices, before it is too late.

I applaud Doughty for attempting to engage the interest of a squeamish mainstream. Written with humour, respect and real passion for her subject, Smoke Gets In Your Eyes is an informative and thought provoking read.

"Death drives every creative and destructive impulse we have as human beings. The closer we come to understanding it, the closer we come to understanding ourselves."
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LibraryThing member ecataldi
Imagine an academic Vampira with a blog and a sense of humor and you've got Caitlin Doughty. This memoir is dark, insightful, morbid, and laugh out loud funny. It's not for the faint of heart covering such topics such as: dead babies, embalming, burning bodies, and human decay, but damn is it
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interesting! Caitlin turned one of her greatest childhood fears, death, into her life ambition; ensuring that people are well educated and comfortable with their inevitable demise. After graduating with a degree in medieval history she decided that working in the funeral industry was the next step logically. Caitlin chronicles her time working in a crematory, going to mortuary school, driving dead bodies around California, and starting her internet forum, "The Order of the Good Death." Humorous, yet respectful, Caitlin's look at the funeral industry will have you questioning everything you ever thought about death.

I was lucky enough to meet the author twice in Las Vegas this summer at a Library convention. I can confirm that she is as humorous in person as she is in writing. A fantastic read (though not for the faint of heart).
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LibraryThing member vlcraven
I have long been a fan of Caitlin Doughty's YouTube channel Ask a Mortician and website The Order of the Good Death so was gleeful upon learning she had written a memoir about her early years as a crematory assistant, mortuary school student and beginning to work in the death industry after
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graduation.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes is more than just a memoir of the macabre–it’s a meditation on the way Western culture treats death with Doughty as a stand-in for the average American who wants to see dear ol’ Mother Deadest looking ‘natural’, even though the process to make her appear that way is about as unnatural as possible.

Doughty starts her journey terrified of death, of facing her own mortality, (the current response of most Westerners). She takes a job as a crematory assistant at Westwind Cremation and Burial and, due to her interactions with the decendents that pass through, her entire philosophy on death (and, necessarily, life) changes. It’s a philosophical journey that encompasses history, religion, mythology and biology, is frequently hysterical (I was laughing out loud every other page) but also deeply affecting.

Of particular interest to anthropology-types were the parts about how we’ve come to deal with death the way we do in this part of the world at this point in time, as opposed to the way other people have done. Or do deal with it but simply in different places on earth like the tribe in Brazil that practises cannibalism as part of the death ritual. They’re not having a gourmet, Dr Lecter-style feast whenever someone dies, either. It’s not enjoyable, but it’s what they do. (Next time you have to go to a wake of a family member you hardly knew be grateful you at least don’t have to eat them whether you want to or not because, ‘That’s just what we do. It’s how we say goodbye. Now be polite and finish off Cousin Martha’s foot.’)

Doughty’s writing style is personable, like chatting with an old friend, if that friend is Wednesday Addams. If you’ve watched many of her Ask a Mortician videos you can hear her voice in your head when reading, which makes the funny bits funnier and the moving bits that much more gut-wrenching.

Speaking of guts, this book is most definitely not for the squeamish. Human bodies are organic matter and things happen to organic matter when it begins to break down. Or when it’s embalmed or cremated. Doughty believes in lifting the veil on what death practitioners do and she’s straight-forward about everything that goes on in all its messy, sometimes amusing, human glory.

This book is, however, excellent for fans of Mary Roach, particularly the one about what happens to the body post-mortem, Stiff . I would also recommend the poet and mortician Thomas Lynch’s wonderful Undertaking: Life Studies from the Dismal Trade .
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LibraryThing member bgknighton
Very thoughtfully written. Caitlin faces her fears straight on and conquers -- no, not conquers -- integrates them into herself so that they lose their power. An honest look at the state of death in America today. She has a very good voice when writing.
LibraryThing member DougGoodman
Remarkable, witty memoir of years spent working in a crematorium. What really sticks with you is the treatise on death, and how instead of avoiding death, Americans should embrace it.
LibraryThing member jen.e.moore
A moving modern alternative to The American Way of Death, protesting not the financial ripoff that is a modern funeral but the overall cultural disconnect that we have from death: the way it's possible to go decades without seeing a corpse, our refusal to think about what will happen when we
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inevitably die, our willingness to shunt the entire procedure off into some distant place where we will never have to think about it, even when it does happen to us.
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LibraryThing member alwright1
I have loved Caitlin Doughty's humorous, touching, death-positive YouTube channel for years. Her sincerity is infectious, and I was really looking forward to her book. I was not disappointed.

I expected a memoir that did not skirt around the very physical and real issues involved in caring for
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deceased friends and family members, but I did not expect the narrative to be as personal as it was. I guess how we deal with death is, in fact, very personal. A great read.
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LibraryThing member Debra_Armbruster
An engaging read, _Smoke Gets In Your Eyes_ is parts autobiography, philosophical pursuit, historical treatise, industry inside scoop, and conversation opener into the meaning of/what constitutes a "good death". Doughty's writing is informative, candid and conversational while presenting funereal
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practices from around the globe and exploring the merits and flaws of the prevailing American death industry.

There were portions of this book which were laugh out loud funny, while others were brutally honest and somewhat gruesome - which makes perfect sense when considering the author and the subject matter. I fear that many folks will not pick up this book due to the subject matter and our cultural phobias around death and those who work in the industry. That is a tragedy. It is no secret that every one of us will eventually die. Doughty offers an insider perspective on the process after, cutting through the common euphemisms to allow us to make an informed choice. Is there an agenda present? Yes, to a degree, but as a discussion piece rather than hyperbolic rhetoric.

I hope that this book will become widely read. For my part, I would order _Smoke Gets In Your Eyes_ for the nonfiction section at the high school level and recommend it for those interested in mortuary science, philosophy, or a high interest read.
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LibraryThing member Scarchin
An unexpected treat for me! An unvarnished look at the "death industry" from the trenches, written with humor and compassion, this book gently compels the reader to reconsider how we treat the old, sick, and the deceased in our culture. You are also inspired to consider your own mortality in an
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open, thoughtful way that runs contrary to the "Fountain of Youth" obsession that surrounds us. Not for the squeamish.
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LibraryThing member Sullywriter
A most entertaining memoir in which Doughty shares her experiences working in a crematory and later attending mortuary school. Fascinating, funny, morbid, and occasionally gruesome.
LibraryThing member herschelian
Not for the squeamish, this book tells it like it is about the way the Western world (mainly the USA) approaches dealing with death and burials. It is now big business. Written in a sprightly tone Caitlin Doughty made me actually laugh several times when discribing situations that should have had
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me shuddering with horror.
Reading this did me good - it made me think about death, my own and the deaths of my loved ones, and what I would like and expect to happen to my body once I have breathed my last.
As it is one of the two certain things all humans have in common - we are born and we die - we should be looking it in the face and not shuffling it away, trying to prettify it, or pretend it won't or hasn't happened.
A highly recommended read, but perhaps the squeamish or faint-hearted should give it a miss.
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LibraryThing member TheDivineOomba
This is a good book - interesting subjects, interesting narrator, At times heartbreaking, at other times, hilariously funny.

The book is well written, but I found the narrator at times too dry. I found the process of funerals and what to do with the deceased to be an eye opener - I knew some of it,
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but the processes described are at times overwhelming.

This book did however make me think about what I want for my body when I die - and I STILL want to donate my body to science.

I read this for the book club at work - and generally, people hated it at first - but found the book to be very good and illuminating, at the end. It fostered discussion about end of life requests as well as funerals.

Recommended if you are interested in the subject matter. It might be too graphic for some readers.
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LibraryThing member beetlebub2000
Disappointingly middling. Author comes across as smug and flippant. In spite of her education and training, she lacks wisdom. Some interesting things to say about our cultural approach to death, but her book has very little life or passion in it. A wasted opportunity.
LibraryThing member Susan.Macura
For a realistic look into the death industry in the United States, as well as an entertaining look back at other rituals surrounding end of life issues, this is a great book. The author also shares some of her experiences working in this field, making it extremely readable. I loved it!
LibraryThing member KimHooperWrites
This book is the definition of "morbid sense of humor." I'm quite fascinated with death (and our society's avoidance of thinking about it), so this book was right up my alley. I loved all the facts and details, even the gruesome ones. The writing is very good--quick, witty, sharp. Loved it.
LibraryThing member KimMeyer
I love a peek behind the scenes and learning about things that aren't often discussed, so this book was full of interesting facts! Also, she's hilarious.
LibraryThing member Jerry.Yoakum
A fascinating book with a lot to teach. I wouldn't recommend it for someone who is young. There are a lot of the lessons are hard ones. However, I wonder if it should be required reading for an adult or a kid in high school.
LibraryThing member AdonisGuilfoyle
I have never read a funnier book by someone writing about death in all my long fascination with the subject. Caitlin Doughty, who also has a website called The Order of Good Death, is a witty and forthright mortician intent on challenging the 'sanitized' approach to death in the Western world by
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promoting alternative funerals. Taking a more open view than Jessica Mitford's 1960s book The American Way of Death, which I have also read, Doughty is more concerned with simplifying and 'humanizing' the disposal of our dead rather than taking on the funeral 'industry', with their unnatural insistence on embalming, sealed caskets and concrete vaults over simple burial or cremation (although I do share her disgust over how families are forced into releasing the bodies of loved ones for 'professional' preparation when embalming is not required by law).

A sort of mini biography with intent, Caitlin describes her childhood in Hawaii, where she witnessed the accidental death of a young girl and became ever after concerned with the natural process of death, evolving from a superstitious fear into a career move. She then moved to California and became an assistant in a crematorium, collecting corpses (and occasionally dismembered body parts), dealing with grieving families, operating the crematories, and processing the ashes at the end. With a good deal of humour and necessary respect for the dead, Caitlin explores the history of death and 'disposal', from cannibal practices of the Wari' tribe to nineteenth century pubic morgue viewings and modern day embalming ('the corpse could, and would, become a product').

Filled with morbid facts - 'the average train conductor will involuntarily kill three people in his career', 'obese people smell particularly bad after an autopsy due to their faster rate of decomposition' - the author is both entertaining and instructive, but also delivering an important message from an insider's point of view: people can choose what happens to their bodies (or the bodies of loved ones) after death. Nor should we fear death or spend our lives trying to avoid the inevitable: 'We do not (and will not) have the resources to properly care for our increasing elderly population, yet we insist on medical intervention to keep them alive'.

Written primarily from an American perspective, but with helpful asides for readers in the UK, Caitlin Doughty's book is a worthy successor to Jessica Mitford's earlier expose.
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LibraryThing member 2wonderY
Attempts to be an honest look at the industry of death. Does an okay job of it.
LibraryThing member rivkat
Sometimes quite insightful, sometimes twee memoir from a woman whose obsession with death started when she was very young (in the 90s: I am old) when she witnessed a child’s death. She tells stories from the crematorium at which she worked, full of the squishy details of death, and argues that
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our modern Western unwillingness to confront death as a real and inevitable part of living is the source of many of our problems. Recommended if you like squishy details.
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LibraryThing member kmajort
Great little book on a subject that needs *much* more attention. While some of her stories can be a bit cutesy, (yes, cutesy death stories) much is history of rituals, the rise of the "death industry" and just how much people fear death - an unnecessary (or unhealthy at least) fear. In my opinion.
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And Caitlin's too, I think.
Read this book, urge friends & family to read it. Talk about your end-of-life plans - it isn't wrong or sick, it's smart.
Her YouTube vids are interesting, and I've delved into the Order of the Good Death, very thought-provoking.
I have elderly parents who have made their choices, but I want to be prepped, I want to shake off the commercialism of the modern death rituals.
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LibraryThing member AliceaP
I've been thinking about death a lot. And not in an existential way or in a 'oh man she needs professional help' kinda way. I've been thinking about the culture of death and how I'd like my own death to be handled. To that end, I chose a few titles which I'm convinced has skewed the way my
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co-workers view me. (lol but really) The first is Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty. (I'll be discussing her second book at a later date.) This is the autobiographical story of how Caitlin came to work in a crematory and the path that it led her down to discover the 'good death'. It's an exceptionally frank discussion of death but more specifically death culture (or lack thereof) in the United States. Here in America it's a taboo subject. Many people choose to remain ignorant of the reality of death because of a fear of their own (and their loved one's) mortality. Caitlin talks about the current death practices of burial, embalming, cremation, green burials (many different kinds), and donation to science. It reminded me that I should really draw up a will with the specifics of what I want and then discuss it with those who will most likely be honoring my wishes. (And you'd better do what I say or I'll haunt you! hahaha but really)

The truth is we are all going to die one day. Wouldn't it be better to see this as natural and be prepared for it? Having open discussions with those who will be charged with taking care of you after you have died makes the process less fraught with uncertainties and fear. Centuries ago, death was embraced because it was necessary to confront it head-on. There were no mortuaries like we know them today. The family was the one who cleaned, wrapped, and sometimes buried the bodies. The grieving process wasn't rushed but was allowed to progress naturally. (Think about the last funeral you attended and how the viewing was timed. Nowadays, you have to leave the cemetery before the casket is even lowered into the earth. Everything is orchestrated and sterile.) I don't think it's morbid to plan ahead and to try to make it as simple and straightforward as possible so that in the end it's about the life that I led and not the stress and confusion of what to do with me once I'm dead. 8/10
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LibraryThing member jrthebutler
A young mortician goes behind the scenes, unafraid of the gruesome (and fascinating) details of her curious profession.
LibraryThing member Auntie-Nanuuq


Funny? No. Weird, oh you betcha! A smile here & there, but I didn't laugh.....

Caitlin born in HI, moved to San Francisco. In need of a job she applied and was accepted at a Crematory in Oakland, CA where she learned quite a bit about death, dying, cadavers, & human nature. This book is her story of
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the time she worked as a Crematory button pusher.

She also wrote about the condition of cadavers...... Did you know that Obese people's fat melts and pools in the floor crevices of the crematory and not only that but their bodies decompose faster (and smellier), because all sorts of bacteria & stuff attacks the fat? I didn't, I do now!

That even if you "stiff" (pun intended) the mortuary (in CA), they can not withhold family remains... they legally belong to you?

In CA, bones are now ground up into a fine powder and go w/ the ashes, so there are no chunks?

The chest is the first part to be cremated, because it is the thickest part of the body & the most difficult to reduce?

That the smallest cadavers & parts are cremated last?

That some Crematories once had peepholes so the family could view the cremation?

Ok..... not funny, but very interesting!

Caitlin Doughty went on to become a licensed mortician and the host and creator of the "Ask a Mortician" web series. She founded the death acceptance collective The Order of the Good Death and cofounded Death Salon. She currently lives in Los Angeles.
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Language

Original language

English

Original publication date

2014-09-15

Physical description

272 p.; 8.3 inches

ISBN

0393351904 / 9780393351903
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