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"With candor and humor, a manic-depressive Iranian-American Muslim woman chronicles her experiences with both clinical and cultural bipolarity. Melody Moezzi was born to Persian parents at the height of the Islamic Revolution and raised amid a vibrant, loving, and gossipy Iranian diaspora in the American heartland. When at eighteen, she began battling a severe physical illness, her community stepped up, filling her hospital rooms with roses, lilies, and hyacinths. But when she attempted suicide and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, there were no flowers. Despite several stays in psychiatric hospitals, bombarded with tranquilizers, mood-stabilizers, and antipsychotics, she was encouraged to keep her illness a secret-by both her family and an increasingly callous and indifferent medical establishment. Refusing to be ashamed, Moezzi became an outspoken advocate, determined to fight the stigma surrounding mental illness and reclaim her life along the way. Both an irreverent memoir and a rousing call to action, Haldol and Hyacinths is the moving story of a woman who refused to become torn across cultural and social lines. Moezzi reports from the front lines of the no-man's land between sickness and sanity, and the Midwest and the Middle East. A powerful, funny, and poignant narrative told through a unique and fascinating cultural lens, Haldol and Hyacinths is a tribute to the healing power of hope, humor, and acceptance"-- "Iranian-American activist Melody Moezzi speaks out on behalf of the mentally ill with a bracingly funny and poignant tale of her own suicide attempt, bipolar disorder diagnosis, and reclamation of her life"--… (more)
User reviews
This is by far the most real biography about the struggles faced by those who suffer with bipolar disorder. I was very excited about this book, because I have a very close family member who has been diagnosed as bipolar. Not being bipolar myself, it is hard for me to understand the cycle that they go through, and the "demons" that infiltrate their mind and body. I have read the clinical books that tell me exactly what bipolar disorder is and how it is diagnose and treated, all from a doctor's perspective, and not exactly in layman's terms. But I wanted something that made more sense, and this book put it all together for me from the patient's point of view, and in a dialog that I could understand clearly. I thank Melody Moezzi for having the courage to put her story out there, and in the process help other patients see that it isn't their fault, and they have nothing to be ashamed of. It is also an eye-opener on how easily it can be misdiagnosed, and how important it is to get the diagnosis correct so that proper treatment can be started. This is the life-saver. This book was well-written, and I flew through it in just a few short sittings. I would recommend this book to anyone who knows someone suffering from bipolar disorder, whether that be themselves or a friend or family member. I would also recommend to people who love a good, honest, real biography that doesn't mince words or sugar coat a serious struggle. Great read!!!
On the other hand, as a mental health professional, I found myself worried and sometimes personally offended by this book. Melody seems to ride both sides of the fence here. She admits that there is no blood test or otherwise confirmable way to diagnose bipolar disorder, but she positively SHREDS the incompetent mental health professionals that didn't pick up on her disorder. It is well known within the field that bipolar people will deny mania (as Melody herself admits she did), so there is often no way to know that someone is bipolar until they are in the middle of a psychotic break. This isn't because mental health professionals are stupid, it's because the nature of the disease prevents early and positive diagnosis.
Also, it worries me that the book almost advocates not going to therapy or taking lithium. While I obviously agree that lithium is very problematic, and I'm so glad that the author has found a viable alternative, I worry that many people will take this book as permission to NOT take lithium. And for many bipolar individuals, that is the only good alternative. And I admit that I know a lot of therapists that "listen to problems and barely say a thing", but I don't believe it's the norm. Maybe this author has never seen a truly great therapist, but the book gives any mentally ill readers a free pass to give up on talk therapy forever.
A great book - and also unfortunately potentially dangerous for some.
I expected a trip down the rabbit hole, but got so much more. She bring those of us who consider
Please read this book.
Melody and I would never be friends in real life. Although I have been close friends with two people who both had similar diagnosis, along with an aunt who has suffered this devastating disease for most of her life, they are not lawyers or doctors or Muslim or of Middle Eastern descent. They are college graduates (but without any "advanced degrees"), respected and talented in their chosen professions, and I had hoped to discover hope for them and people like them in this book. I had hoped to hear that Melody has been campaigning for better treatment, speaking out in support of others who have been diagnosed with mental disorders that many uneducated people still believe are flaws of character or deviance from the basic components of the human condition. Instead, Moezzi sets herself apart from the fray, continuously reinforcing the fact that she holds advanced degrees, that she disagrees nearly every component of American life, that she is from a high-class Persian family -- and is pretty much above everyone else. She has a serious hatred for British colonialism (which most of us do not really believe in anymore), and anyone whose ancestors might have been on the Mayflower (as if they can go back and rewrite history). She also writes about being part of a State Department delegation of young American Muslim "leaders whom the Department expects will help change the country and, in doing so, the world." You might say she is delusional, which would be, of course, apropos, considering the topic of the book.
I have compassion for Melody and those in similar situations, don't get me wrong. But the majority of the book talks about how oppressed she, and other high-class Iranian Muslims, are, and how no one treats her with the respect and devotion she expects (except her husband -- oy).
There was one part of the book that resonated with me, so I will share part of it: "During that fall semester, I started running. To me, running is not a sport. It's something you do when someone is chasing you. Perhaps you know somebody who runs 'for fun.' I'm telling you now, that person is a liar. Nobody runs for fun. People dance for fun. People run because there is a predator nearby. I took up running in an attempt to outrun my mind, to prevent it from completely betraying and devouring me. I had a lot of trouble thinking straight, and I found that when my body was moving, my thoughts slowed down. When I sat still, they raced far too fast for me to connect, let alone tolerate."
Take it or leave it, that is how I found Haldol and Hyacinths. Dear Attorney Melody, please don't sue me.
Second Disclaimer: I teach a very basic course for nursing home employees on mental illness and requested this book in hopes of finding less academic examples for my class.
Lawyer-turned-author,
I learned much about Iranian culture and the Muslim religion that I did not expect from the outset, but I found these details very poignant in Moezzi's personal history.
She is quite a "lucky" person with mental illness, if any MI sufferer can be called "lucky". She has an amazingly supportive group of family and friends and an incredible husband who stand with her through all aspects of her disease... From her attempted suicide IN her psychiatrist's office to her raging manic episodes, I found myself wishing that all people with mental illness had such a wealth of love and support surrounding them.
Without quoting from the book, it is hard to summarize Moezzi's tone, but her voice really resonated with me. She is smart, witty and acerbic at times, and she relates her personal thoughts and mood swings with the reader in a way that I found particularly moving. I underlined and made notes throughout the book to pull out for my classes -- I've NEVER heard manic and hypermanic thoughts described in such a clear and "real" way. She truly allows the masses into her head and it makes "A Bipolar Life" the best memoir I have ever read!
There is still a huge stigma surrounding mental illness. In the US alone, one in four people is diagnosed with some form of mental illness. Chances are, whether you are aware of it or not, someone you love suffers from mental illness -- bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are the "big guys", but depression and anxiety are also real diseases on the MI spectrum. In short, I commend Melody Moezzi for opening her life, her mind, and her entire self in order to share her experiences, demystify mental illness, and attempt to alleviate some of the stigma and prejudice that are all too often realities to individuals with mental illness.
I give this one 5 stars and HIGHLY recommend it for anyone who would like an inside view of what mental illness really is.
I really enjoyed Moezzi's writing. She's funny, she's sarcastic, and she has a penchant for bad language (as do I). this is a book that talks about big issues while remaining true to the experiences and spirit of a twenty-something woman. As a Muslim and an Iranian-American, she offers interesting insights on what it means to have multiple identities, to be a sometimes-outsider, and to have to watch the turbulent politics of a meaningful place from the outside. If all of this sounds heavy, the book itself is not. It was an engaging and entertaining read, well worth reading for anyone trying to understand life with bipolar disorder.
On the other hand, as a mental health professional I found this very difficult to read. Melody is very judgmental throughout the book, always quick to put the blame on her doctors for not curing her more quickly rather than acknowledging her own refusal to seek treatment. Psychiatrists can only diagnose based on what they observe, so when a patient lies about their symptoms (as Melody admits doing) this can cause problems. And while I can sympathize with the isolation she must have felt being admitted to various treatment facilities, she completely overlooks the potential danger that she posed to other patients while in her manic state, and doesn't seem to realize that expecting constant personal attention, while in a hospital setting, is pretty unrealistic. I felt as though Melody was trying to play the activist when there really wasn't anything for her to fight against except her own mind.
Still, I hope she continues to share her insight. I would be interested to read more on this topic in a few years when Melody has had the time to reflect, and I will be on the lookout for her other published writing.
All the signs were there in Moezzi's medical history from post-adolescence, but her well-educated, forward-thinking parents were willing to consider anything but mental illness as her problem. Her young husband had simply never encountered psychosis before. Moezzi's doctors even after her initial diagnosis of depression were uninterested in the details of her life that would have given a clearer correct diagnosis in less than the ten plus years it took to get one. Yet Moezzi herself can look back at all of this and accept it as well as accepting herself.
I applaud her and encourage everyone willing to listen to her voice to read the book.
I read this memoir at a very interesting time in my family's life. A friend (who does not have bipolar disorder) is coping with a partner who does and who is having a hard time accepting her diagnosis. Because of her denial, her recovery process is patchy at best. The ramifications of the disorder are not minimized in the book and it has helped me understand what my friend is going through. This book shows that there is hope out there and with support and acceptance, recovery is possible.
Instead, I found myself in a terrible predicament. I had moments where I saw pieces of Moezzi in friends and students living with Bipolar
The summary
There were so many delightful positive accounts, though; like prayers in the beautiful Montana landscape, the poetry channel on Iranian television, The Autobiography of Malcolm X, living with pet cats, setting up a sofreh-eh-haft-seen for Nowruz, ELLIE the elephant, and designing a romantic tattoo (well, maybe the last two on my list had their negative aspects!).
Moezzie's husband, Matthew, took notes about her sickness so she was able to reconstruct memories of her manic activities; for example, the night she kept him awake lecturing for hours, even calling for flowcharts, about the American judicial system.
The ending was marvelously well-paced and hopeful. It inspired me to go shopping for gold paint and spools of ribbon.
An advanced reader's copy was provided to me via LibraryThing Early Reviewers.