The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)

by Don Miguel Ruiz

Paperback, 1997

Call number

299 RIU

Collection

Publication

Amber-Allen Publishing (1997), 160 pages

Description

Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML: In The Four Agreements, bestselling author don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. A New York Times bestseller for over a decade Over 10 million copies sold in the U.S. Translated into 46 languages worldwide "This book by don Miguel Ruiz, simple yet so powerful, has made a tremendous difference in how I think and act in every encounter." â?? Oprah Winfrey

User reviews

LibraryThing member Arctic-Stranger
A rehashing of basic New Age concepts, given a toltec spin. If you have read a lot of New Age literature, this will be old stuff. If you are new to the genre it might move you greatly. There are gems here, but he overplays his hand too often.
LibraryThing member Proustitutes
"Happiness is the lost paradise. Humans have worked so hard to reach this point, and this is part of the evolution of the mind. This is the future of humanity."

Alright, Don Miguel Ruiz. Attractive words but I still, somehow, don't think that humanity has a collective mind. Nor do I believe that
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this phantom collective mind is evolving in any which way, most of all not towards happiness. And I think you should have known this, considering that you were a surgeon before you went off into the woods, drank ayahuasca, and found the gods. I digress.

Ruiz's book presents ancient Toltec wisdom. Among large unavoidable stretches of general self-help guide-me-into-a-beautiful-vision bullshit that ignores both laws of science and historical reality, parts of his argument clarified and refreshed my perspective in a good way.

Ruiz argues that our "dream"/reality that we live in is created by our thoughts of what tangibly occurs around us. We are "domesticated" by society and grow up to participate in a world ruled by miscommunication. So far, so good. We can liberate ourselves from endless self-imposed suffering and experience resulting freedom by appraising the unconscious agreements that we have made between ourselves and society. And, with just twenty seconds of our time and ten small dollars a month, we can change our lives if we just live by four new agreements. (Clearly, I think Ruiz is somewhat out of his mind. But the following four "agreements" are what I came looking for in this book, and he delivered.)

Agreement 1: Be impeccable with your word. "Your opinion is nothing but your point of view. It is not necessarily true. Your opinion comes from your beliefs, your own ego, and your own dream. We create all this poison and spread it to others just so we can feel right about our own point of view."

Agreement 2: Don't take anything personally. "Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world. Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds."

Agreement 3: Don't make assumptions. "We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. this is the biggest assumption that humans make. And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves."

Agreement 4: Always do your best. "When you always do your best, you take action. Doing your best is taking action because you love it, not because you're expecting a reward. Most people do exactly the opposite: They only take action when they expect a reward, and they don't enjoy the action."

No good book is complete without bonus break-up advice: "If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn't walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don't need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices."

Ruiz even tackles the subject of abuse: "In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly."

For full disclosure, my bedroom features both a hanging tapestry and a Buddha statue peering out from its highest vantage point. So I usually sort of buy into this kind of crap. This is another "sort of buy-in" for me I guess. But I really did enjoy these choice words Ruiz had to offer:

"The mind has the ability to talk to itself, but it also has the ability to hear information that is available from other realms. Sometimes you hear a voice in your mind, and you may wonder where it came from. This voice may have come from another reality in which there are living beings very similar to the human mind."

Thanks for the casual reminder that I have my sanity. But I think I'm gonna take my breakup advice and run. Peace out.
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LibraryThing member Chris.Wolak
Re-read it, didn't remember much from my first reading. A good reminder on how to live more a conscious and less drama-soaked life.
LibraryThing member BookNookFairy
The language of this book is very simple and easy-to-read; likewise, the concepts are presented in a logical, natural-feeling fashion. Can be a little redundant at times. Ruiz teaches us that we are the master of our own emotional and mental destinies. Somewhat on par with the writings of Shakti
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Gawain and the ideas involved in The Secret and the Law of Attraction. (If you liked those, you'll almost certainly enjoy this.)
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LibraryThing member Fluffyblue
I read this today and have to say it's very thought provoking and inspirational. It wasn't the greatest piece of writing ever published admittedly but the reasons for trying to live in the spirit of the four agreements were well made.
LibraryThing member lyzadanger
I spent the first two-thirds of the book feeling prickly, resentful that Ruiz attached profundity to what I saw as simplistic, sometimes obvious self-proclaimed Toltec revelations. I felt that the second agreement of the four--never take anything personally--was especially difficult to swallow. The
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premise--nothing that anyone does is really about you, and you should never have any particular reaction to it--seemed to conflict his other arguments. Ruiz suggests that we should never Judge ourselves (his capitalization), never nitpick our motivations and berate ourselves, but act out of love and follow the other three agreements, which bolster this (admittedly very acceptable) notion.

However, this second agreement seems to set us up for grief and failure: in his worldview, we should never be offended or hurt by others' actions. If you are hurt or angered, he explains, that is your own "emotional poison" and you should overcome it. But I think there's a logical problem here, one that becomes an emotional one quickly. Say, for example, your spouse cheats on you. Sure, you can argue that he or she didn't do this because of you, but because of their own world. But how is this comforting? Is the notion really that this shouldn't affect me? And if it does--because, realistically, who wouldn't be at least gently saddened by this--it seems that Ruiz' argument is that you are full of fear and poison. Thus if I were to be hurt I'd start doing exactly what he commands against: judging myself for feeling hurt. Seems like a recipe for angst.

The last third of the book was the most valuable to me. It leaves the four agreements behind, or at least, softens focus on them, and discusses approaches to a life based on love and joy versus one of fear and darkness. Not the most novel ideas, but universal ones that appeal. I do appreciate his optimism and grace of storytelling here.

This book came highly recommended from people who I would in turn highly recommend, so I believe there is something to be had from it for most people. The other three agreements that didn't bug me are reasonable, and I'm especially fond of the first and the last ("be impeccable with your word" and "always do your best").
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LibraryThing member GeorgeForge
Written in overly simplified wording, but has important content...
LibraryThing member MarkBaumann
This book is essential. It's principles underly everything else involving human relations --self awareness, negotiation, mediation, self help, relationships. They all depend on your ability to apply the 4 Agreements.
The mythology is a method to put the Agreements in perspective, but it is not
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necessary to adopt or agree with.
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LibraryThing member lahochstetler
Ruiz has come up with four principles from ancient Toltec wisdom. If one adopts these four agreements, Ruiz argues, they will help bring a sense of peace and happiness to one's life. Generally the agreements sound reasonable enough: don't take things personally, say only good things about others,
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etc. So far, so good. But there's some serious theoretical problems that underlie Ruiz's plan. Ruiz seems to suggest that the self can determine the majority of one's experience outside of social context. He claims that society is composed of collective dreams. Even recognizing that Ruiz is infusing dreams with more importance than western culture generally does, it still strikes me that the message here is that if one has fortified one's spirit with these four principles, nothing anyone else says or does can strongly affect you. Maybe I'm too close-minded, but I just can't buy it. We all live in social and cultural worlds, and those worlds do shape our experience, whether we like it or not.
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LibraryThing member dannywon
simplistic, easy read. Universal in its Spiritual message; not much new here, but the "four agreements," do seem (I surmise) as reasonable doctrines as any other for embarking down a spirtitual path. Best practiced and obsorbed in conjunction with other meditational / spiritual complements.
LibraryThing member Hazel66
Simplistic. Feels kind of like an episode of Dr. Phil. Repetitive. Good advice - no practical tips for working on core personality traits.
LibraryThing member rfewell
I read this one for a Reader's Advisory class. I picked this one for the topic of "self-help/spirituality". I don't remember much about it, but I didn't think it was as hokey as I anticipated...
LibraryThing member muddy21
The Four Agreements: a practical guide to personal freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz. The author, from a family of healers and shamans in rural Mexico, chose medical school and a career as a surgeon. A near-fatal accident caused him to rethink his career choice and he eventually
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returned to the traditional Toltec ways. He serves now as a Toltec nagual, or shaman, and argues that each of us lives a life inextricably tied to our perceptions of the external world, both people and events.

Ruiz's guidance is to make four agreements with ourselves:
1) Be Impeccable with Your Word
2) Don't Take Anything Personally
3) Don't Make Assumptions
4) Always Do Your Best

There is also a chapter titled Breaking Old Agreements addressing ways to break free from our old perceptions, allowing us to develop and live in a new reality.

There were some very good insights in this book. It's a little awkward to read in the beginning because the author assigns quite specific meanings to words that have more general connotations in common use. Once his vocabulary is familiar, the going is much easier. I think a re-reading will be valuable.

Information contained: 4/5
Delivery: 3/5
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LibraryThing member subbobmail
This book was recommended to me by spiritually-minded people. The four agreements sound vaguely Buddhist and sensible. "Be immaculate with your word" is a lot like "right speech," while "Don't take anything personally" reminds me of the Buddhist idea of non-attachment. Then again, every once in a
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while the author will go off on a vague tangent about hell or angels and completely lose me. And when he says that telling someone that they look cancerous is enough to give them cancer, then I wonder how much yage went into the making of this book. Does this prove that I have no soul, or that I have a shock-proof bullshit detector? Still, a lot of the advice here could be very helpful, if studiously (and selectively) followed...
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LibraryThing member zurow
I read this book aloud to my mother and grandmother upon receiving the news of my grandmother's terminal illness. Reading this book aloud enabled group insight as to our own generational biases and interpretations. GREAT read for any age.
LibraryThing member Mrs.SmartyPants
Instead of putting this quote towards the end, Don Miguel Ruiz`s book should have started with 'I want you to forget everything you have ever learned in your whole life. This is the beginning of a new understanding, a new dream.' Reading 'The Four Agreements' is that beginning of a new
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understanding and a new dream - one of a life without fear. It is not just any fear that stops us from growing, but it is the fear that grows from how we allow others to control us, as well as fear we create within ourselves. Ruiz observes that human society is ruled by fear. Religions describe hell as a place of punishment, suffering, pain, and fear. However, when we allow fear to rule our lives, our state of minds put us in a living hell. We search for those bohemian ideals of truth, justice, beauty, and love, but because we are blinded by fear and lies we cannot see ourselves and our world for the loving place it is. While the terminology of the book embraces traditional religion, magic, computer terms, and profuse analogy; the wisdom in this book is sound. The book's premise is that everything we know is basically an agreement. We didn't choose our beliefs, but agreed - out of love or out of fear - with information we were told. 'As soon as we agree, we believe it, and this is called Faith. To have faith is to believe unconditionally.' Ruiz further explains that '95% of the beliefs we have stored in our minds are nothing but lies, and we suffer because we believe all these lies.' To better live our lives we must have the courage to challenge our beliefs, which is where the 4 Agreements come in. The agreements sound simple enough, however they are anything but simple. Ruiz deftly walks us through specific examples of how refusing to make these agreements with ourselves poisons our lives, and the lives of those around us. Following these simple steps will ultimately lead us to higher self-esteem, more effective communication, a greater insight into the motivations of others, closer relationships, and the ability to live a life filled with love. Here's to a new dream for all of us.
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LibraryThing member Elfpath
It's just a thin little book, but the message in The Four Agreements is a big one. In it, Miguel Ruiz tells us why we have so many self-limiting believes, and where they come from.

The wisdom of the Toltecs helps us to stop limiting ourself. Through breaking our old agreements and accepting four
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simple new agreements, this book explains how we lost our freedom, and how we can regain it. The four agreements, each described in a chapter, are:
- Be Impeccable with Your Word
- Don't Take Anything Personally
- Don't Make Assumptions
- Always Do Your Best

Considering its size, The Four Agreements holds a surprising amount of wisdom, and is very easy to read, understand, and use in your every day life. You don't need to be a scholar to get this little jewel. Definitely recommended. Google Books has bits of it.
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LibraryThing member Phoenixmedusa
One night at a party I heard a man speaking of this book. I was just mesmerized by his words and the next day went out and bought it. I can honestly say that this book has changed my life. The Four Agreements have become a central part of the way I live my life. At times when I struggle I come back
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to this little book that has totally changed the way I look at life. I highly recommend it.
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LibraryThing member NinjaBitch
If you are looking for, or needing, somewhere to focus your thoughts, this is a good idea. If you are feeling off balance or out of focus, this is a good idea.

Like many good ideas, once you've found the next good idea, this one is easily, and possibly unfortunately, forgotten.
LibraryThing member porch_reader
After watching the last episode of Oprah last week, it seemed appropriate to pick up one of the many books that made their way to my shelves based on her recommendations. This book is based on Toltec wisdom and provides four ways in which we can change our self-limiting beliefs and find true
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happiness. The advice (be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions, and always do your best) is hard to argue with. While none of the advice was new, it never hurts to be reminded of these truths. However, I found myself wishing that the book had gone a little deeper, moving beyond platitudes to more practical advice about how to achieve these goals. Without that, I don't think that this book will stick with me for long.
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LibraryThing member Pippilin
Full of simple wisdom; to me, a condensed version of The Twelve Steps.
LibraryThing member tulstig
According to this book all you need for a good life are the four agreements contained within. This book is an easy read and makes a lot of sense. The four agreements are simple sentences, but in truth may be a little more difficult to maintain.
LibraryThing member anapoletan
.... a book that everyone should read!!
LibraryThing member delphimo
A relative told me that I should read this book, and that maybe my life could improve. The book is short with less than 140 pages. Ruiz asks the readers to adopt four agreements to build a better life and leave the present hell for a future heaven. Ruiz repeats many of the four points to drill the
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words into your mind. The concept that four plans can change your existence and make you the master of your ship is not unique and at times, simplistic. I enjoyed reading these ideals and may try to develop this philosophy.
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LibraryThing member aimelire
This book is easily read. Gives great simple advise on how to live to your best potential and to become a better person. I read this book every couple of years.

Pages

160

ISBN

1878424319 / 9781878424310
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