Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

by Sheryl Sandberg

Hardcover, 2013

Call number

658.4 SAN

Collection

Publication

Knopf (2013), Edition: 1, 240 pages

Description

In "Lean In", Sheryl Sandberg -- Facebook COO and one of "Fortune" magazine's most powerful women in business -- looks at what women can do to help themselves, and make the small changes in their life that can effect change on a more universal scale. She draws on her own experiences working in some of the world's most successful businesses, as well as academic research, to find practical answers to the problems facing women in the workplace.

User reviews

LibraryThing member varwenea
Curiosity led me to read this book, even though I rarely read this genre, despite my profession. I am glad I did.

I was immediately drawn in by Sheryl’s very personal approach – doling out her life stories to illustrate her points: her own injustices, her mistakes, her successes, her growth, and
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her choices. It was very brave of her to share such intimate details, and I applaud her for it.

One thing I really want the reader to appreciate is that for the most part, she has worked in a man’s world, surrounded by men, in D.C. and in Silicon Valley. Speaking from personal experience, it is NOT an easy place to be.

Another key aspect is that by no means is Sheryl condemning stay-at-home moms. Heck, she’s even intimidated by them sometimes. The whole idea of ‘Lean In’ is to lean in regardless of what you do. Join in, sit at the table, and go 1000% on your career (or whatever) until you switch course, such as having a baby. Don't have one foot out the door before you even have a boyfriend.

This book is layout thematically by chapters but also (mostly) chronologically as Sheryl lays out her personal discovery to speaking up for women, to lay further ground work for future generations of women, and just as importantly, to equalize and improve the playing field for men in the home front without condemnation from work. While some may argue there are some aspects that are obvious, I’d be surprised if the reader truly doesn’t walk away with any golden nuggets – via lessons or the statics. The book hit me hard at the start when it noted that men are commonly promoted for their potential while women are commonly promoted for their past achievements. My gut told me this was happening my entire career, and now the stat is in-my-face. Damn! For me, the chapter on mentoring was the most enlightening – engage a mentor/sponsor wisely by doing research, asking specific questions related to them that you can’t find answers elsewhere, and respecting their time. I rate myself an epic failure on that one.

My view is that this book is equally about encouraging women to make the most of themselves and about equalizing the playing field - for women and men. The goal is for the world to recognize the contributions of women and men outside and inside of the home equally. The women need to sit at the table, the corporate conference table, while the men need to join the table too – the kitchen table at home.

More nuggets:

This took me years to overcome, but now have control over it. A gracious thank you is the best answer.
~ The Imposter Syndrome – Feeling fraudulent on your achievements and declining praises as false.

I am optimistic that this tide is turning, particularly as more and more senior women are reaching out to help others rather than wasting time defending her position.
“Success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women.” (Meaning a successful women must be a bitch, e.g. The Devil Wears Prada.)

While I have always worked well with the vast majority, this idea never quite surfaced, but I can appreciate such possibility, especially as one moves up pushing for major changes.
Feedback from Mark Zuckerberg to Sheryl: “My desire to be liked by everyone would hold me back. He said that when you want to change things, you can’t please everyone. If you do please everyone, you are making enough progress.”

This made me sad and made me laugh at the same time.
Referring to the Q&A after a talk, “The men were focusing on how to manage a business and the women were focusing on how to manage a career. The men wanted answers and the women wanted permission and help. I realized that searching for a mentor has become the professional equivalent of waiting for Prince Charming.”

Debunking the Myth of Doing It All:
Gloria Steinem: “You can’t do it all. No one can have two full time jobs, have perfect children and cook three meals and be multi-organsmic ‘til dawn… Superwoman is the adversary of the women’s movement.”
“Aiming for perfection causes frustration at best and paralysis at worst.” ------ Amen!!

I felt this particularly during the early part of my career when the same manager tells me there needs to be more female engineers and also tells me I should wear more dresses cuz I look good in them. To this day, I still retain some skepticism.
“The researchers speculated that men in traditional marriages are not overtly hostile toward women but instead are ‘benevolent sexists’ – holding positive yet outdated views about women.” (Aka: ‘nice guy misogynists’)

If this is what it means to be a feminist, then sign me up!
“A feminist is someone who believes in social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.”
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LibraryThing member janeajones
Ok, I know this book has become a media sensation (currently #1 on the NYT non-fiction best-seller list -- though currently only 43 LT members own it), and it's essentially a self-help book (a genre I never read), I nevertheless decided to read it.

I do teach a Women and Literature course, and I
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have a 20s something daughter and a 30s something daughter-in-law facing the career-motherhood dilemma (I sent each of them a copy of the book). And I'm a rock-ribbed feminist practically from the time I was born.

As I'm sure everyone is aware, Sandberg is the COO of Facebook, the mother of two children and VERY rich. She's also charismatic and photogenic and lucky and, by most accounts, nice (too nice according to her boss, Mark Zuckerberg).

Given my long and deep feminist reading and background, there's not much new here. But she articulates, with clarity and ease, the importance of involved participation in the workforce, egalitarian partnership in parenting and living, and the hurdles in career advancement -- which she describes as a jungle-gym rather than a ladder.

As a woman in sight of retirement, this book is not particularly relevant to my current circumstances. However, I find that much of Sandberg's advice about navigating a career, taking care of oneself and one's family, and interacting with colleagues, both senior and junior, is spot-on, in retrospect.

I'll recommend it to all of my students -- both male and female, and I'm happy I sent it my daughters.
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LibraryThing member annbury
Some books generate a storm of criticism as soon as they are published, much of which seems based on reading about the book, not actually reading the book itself. "Lean In" is one such book. The thrust of the book was no secret, since it is based in large part on talks Sandberg gave in 2010 and
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2011. In those she stressed the need for women to "lean in" -- recognizing that many typical female behavior patterns hurt women at work, that those behaviors can change, and that motherhood doesn't have to mean "leaning back" at work. Those arguments, along with Sandberg's extraordinary success, sparked the aforementioned storm of criticism when the book came out. She was accused of blaming the victim by ignoring structural sexism in American business,and of elitism by discussing issues that had nothing to do with the problems of most working American women.

When I actually read the book, I was far more impressed than the brouhaha suggested. "Blaming the victim" and "elitist" criticisms ignore the fact that Sandberg tackles them right from the beginning. The handicaps women face in the workplace, she argues, reflect BOTH external patterns of discrimination, and internal patterns that women bring to the workplace. She calls this a "the ultimate chicken-and-egg situation", and continues "The chicken: women will tear down the external barriers once we achieve leadership roles. .... The egg: we need to eliminate external barriers to get women into those roles in the first place". Both sides, she says, are right. Her book is mostly about the chicken, but she clearly thinks the egg is just as important, saying that "men still run the world" and demonstrating that with lots and lots of statistics. As to elitism, she address that head on as well, saying that parts of this book "will be most relevant to women fortunate enough to have choices". BUT, she adds, other parts "apply to situations that women face in every work place", and she is trying to offer opinions that will "resonate with women in a broad range of circumstances".

So much for the criticisms: what about the book? It demonstrates convincingly that women as a group have plateaued in the American workplace for years now, after rapid gains in the 1970's and 1980's -- in terms of earnings, in terms of advancement, and in terms of home/work balance. It demonstrates that this has happened despite the fact that women are on average better educated than men, all the way up the ladder, and that women make up a growing share of the labor force. So what's the problem? Much of it, Ms. Sandberg shows, reflects workplace practices that disadvantage women, particularly women with children. And much of it reflects attitudes held (often unconsciously) by men AND by women in the workplace. Most notably, she cites studies showing that men tend to be better liked as they become more successful at work, while women become less liked as they become more successful. When you consider that success at work has something to do with how well liked you are, that's a great big Catch-22.

But the key arguments in the book, I think, focus on the limitations women put on themselves. As a veteran (female) of almost 40 years in Wall Street, Ms. Sandberg's discussion of this made me think Right, Right, RIGHT again and again. She cites the same behaviors and attitudes I noticed over and over in myself, and in other women at work: Work hard and you'll do well! Don't make waves! Don't blow your own horn! Don't take on more than you can chew! Why do we women believe this? Largely, because we are conditioned from babyhood to do so. Yes, there are probably some modest innate emotional differences between the bell curve women and the bell curve man. Piled on top of that, however (as Ms. Sandberg makes clear), is an extraordinary weight of social assumptions. And Ms Sandberg has practical suggestions for dealing with these internal constraints. It took me a couple of decades to understand that waiting to be crowned Queen of the May was not a good career strategies, but I never really worked what to do instead. Ms Sandberg has, and it adds up to "lean in" -- don't step back, don't underestimate yourself (or if you do, act as if you didn't), don't refuse to speak up for yourself, and a whole lot more.

All in all, this is an enlightening book, and is well worth reading. It's also a feminist manifesto, and that's nice to see after all these years during which no one seemed to want to admit to being a feminist.
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LibraryThing member ritagad
I'm pretty mixed about this book. I think it has plenty of good advice and observations. However what it's missing is ambition. Strange enough. It's basically a self-help book that operates on the individual level. Leaning in is fine enough and will get you somewhere, as long as you already are at
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a certain level of affluence and ability to make choices, as long as you dare. It leaves the structural barriers of poverty and vulnerability in place.
Sandberg does state that she believes that when more women are in positions of power, things will change. I'm not sure I see a lot of evidence to support that. In the parts of the world where there is most equality, it wasn't women in leadership that brought about more social justice, it was basically a strong labor movement and a commitment to equality in the culture and to the idea that states can and should set up policies and programmes to improve conditions for the poor. And on that platform, all boats rise, and women have a basis for participating int he work force. In addition, it's essential to have limits on work hours that are enforced. In this way, it's possible for families to function effectively while both parents work.
So I enjoyed the book but frankly Sheryl Sandberg is simply not ambitious enough. Too much going at the individual level and not realistic enough and revolutionary enough about what needs to change in the poltiical realm and business community for men and women to be able to lean in and have families at the same time.
I would recommend the book, though, because the advice on the individual level is good and accurate.
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LibraryThing member rivkat
Sandberg’s high-profile TED talk on how women who are in a position to advance in their careers shouldn’t “leave before they leave,” declining opportunities because of foreseen but not yet materialized conflicts with family life, led to this book. Sandberg, a highly placed executive at
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Google and then Yahoo!, among other places, is well aware that she’s describing situations that only some women are in, though she tries to give some advice that is more generally applicable. She’s also well aware of the double bind: women who don’t negotiate don’t get the good results that men get because they negotiate; women who do negotiate take a hit in perceived collegiality. She only has mild suggestions to deal with that—talk about “we” instead of “I,” because women do better negotiating on behalf of others, so focusing on what rewarding you will do for the overall team leads to better results; Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever’s Ask for It has more specific strategies. “Don’t leave before you leave” is good advice, as is “step up and sit at the table, even if you don’t think you’re perfectly qualified yet”—among the stories she tells is how women already at Google, who’ve gone through a grueling hiring process and who you might think knew how to value themselves, didn’t apply for internal job openings unless they thought they had all the listed skills, whereas men would apply if they thought they had over half. The men assumed they could learn on the job. While that may be overconfidence, they were likely to get the chance to learn. I really wish men in positions of authority would read the book and see what they’re losing.
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LibraryThing member Pennydart
Sandberg’s discussion of the ways in which women often shortchange themselves professionally has led to strong reactions. Some have castigated her for blaming the victims in our still sexist society, while others have championed her call to arms to young (and not-so-young) women. I was inclined
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to be in the former camp, but also realized that many people had formed their opinion without actually having read the book, and I refused to make that mistake. Having now read the book, I am strongly in the second camp. Sandberg is very careful to say repeatedly that she recognizes that there are many factors that hold women back, and that many, maybe even most of these, are beyond their control. And she is also careful to say, again repeatedly, that she is not suggesting that all women need to become CEOs of major corporations, or even take other leadership positions: she is respectful of women’s—and men’s—right to choose different paths. But she provides what seems to me to be very good advice to women who do want to rise to leadership positions about how they can and should “lean in” to their goals, avoiding mistakes that come from internalizing the implicit biases against women. My praise for this book is perhaps best captured in that fact that I am going to recommend it highly to my 25-year-old daughter.
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LibraryThing member lanewillson
“Women are not equal to men.” Or at least you would think that’s the message of Sheryl Sandberg’s new book “Lean In” based on the chorus of apoplectic harmony sung by the New York Time’s Maureen Dowd, and the Pat Schroeder Times Square Tap Team.

A quick bit of self-disclosure - my name
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is nowhere near the top of the feminism dial-a-friend list. While I have never sent some of the world’s most powerful women to the microphone to cover for my adultery, or accidently walked off from a car crash forgetting that my incredibly young secretary was still in my submerged vehicle, neither have I achieved the level of female esteem of enjoyed by Alan Alda and Mike Farrell. (Though both are the stars of my favorite show.) Don’t get me wrong, some of my favorite people are women. Both of my daughters, my mom, two of my sisters, several cousins, aunts, friends, and even my ex-wife are all women. I’m a fan…a big fan!

Had it not been for Ms. Dowd’s review, I never would read the book, and probably continued my ignorant bliss of Ms. Sandberg and her position at Facebook. Much of the criticism of the book is dead on accurate. I couldn’t believe Sandberg actually said she wants to be “the pompom girl for feminism”. Isn’t that sort of like being the centerfold for chastity? I didn’t come across anything offensive in the book, but I didn’t find anything new or inspirational either. It was a very easy read, and carried both the positive and negative weight of that designation.

Ms. Dowd, however; is to be congratulated on at least a couple of fronts. She jumped way up the Chauvinist Power Rankings. Most importantly, she proved a theory long debated by social anthropologist, and men patiently, yet quite awkwardly, waiting in OB-GYN offices the world over. The biggest critics of women are other women. Men used to own this demo (18-45 year old women haters and skeptics of female ability), but no more.

Like Gandalf on the bridge of Khazad-dûm, Dowd stands between any woman choosing her own path and success screaming “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
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LibraryThing member coloradogirl14
Suffice it to say, there’s been a lot of controversy surrounding Sheryl Sandberg’s book, which also means that this has become a focal point for political and feminist discussions. Since I’m coming at this from a readers’ advisory perspective, I’ll attempt to avoid discussing my personal
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politics extensively, but in this case, the reasons for why I enjoyed this book are intertwined with my personal beliefs, so stay with me on this. It won’t get preachy, I promise!

The main point of the book is that women are still significantly underrepresented in leadership roles, and that today’s group of working women need to empower themselves to take risks, challenge themselves, and pursue their goals with passion and enthusiasm. Sandberg also talks about how modern women struggle under the impossible standard of perfection known as “having it all” – a career, a family, a supportive relationship, and a clean house, among other things. However, instead of arguing that women can only focus on their career or their family, Sandburg pushes for equality between men and women in terms of child care and domestic duties. This presents a large shift in perspective, since society often punishes women for “neglecting” her family in favor of her job, while paradoxically punishing the woman who must sacrifice certain job duties in favor of her family.

And now for the counterarguments. Sandberg has a powerful position with Facebook and admits up front that her financial security has given her freedoms that many working-class women simply do not have. Many readers have stated that this financial security has “blinded” Sandberg to the realities of real life for most working class women, and that her suggestions are not feasible in the real world. Others have branded this book as corporate feminism, in which women are supposed to kiss up to the people in charge (male or female) instead of making their own stand. And many readers (including myself) have looked down upon her praise for Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, who took only two weeks off for maternity leave, had a nursery built in her office, and imposed a company-wide policy that forbade any employee from working from home. I could go into reasons why I disliked this philosophy and Sandberg’s implicit endorsement, but that’s a discussion for a more appropriate venue.

Regardless of where your viewpoints stand, Sandberg’s book absolutely succeeds in reviving a long dormant conversation about the perspective of working women, and what we as women can do to help ourselves. As a feminist manifesto (which some people call it), it’s not as all-encompassing as it needs to be, but I don’t believe Sandberg wrote this book with that idea in mind. As a way to get women thinking critically about their place in the working world and what they can do to empower themselves, this book is a great kick-starter. It got me thinking about risks I was and wasn’t taking, and how I could challenge myself so that it would pay off down the road, and I firmly believe that anything that encourages women to start taking control of their careers is a good thing.

In terms of her actual writing style, I liked how Sandberg mixed personal anecdotes with research and hard data, and I found myself zipping through it extremely quickly. In addition, I think this also works as a way to connect women with other viewpoints and sources…in my case, it piqued my interest and made me take notice of other women (and men) speaking out about the role of the modern-day working female. But it’s not a book suited for every reader, and when suggesting this book to another person, I recommend framing this book not as an insightful solution but as a jumping-off point for a larger conversation. It’ll spark some good discussion, at the very least.

Recommended for: readers interested in contemporary women’s issues and/or business practices, readers who enjoy thought-provoking nonfiction, readers who enjoy reading up on the latest buzz. (If you have someone who tends to read every book that’s made a large media splash, make sure they get their hands on this one, if they haven’t already!)

Readalikes:

Knowing Your Value by Mika Brzezinski. Another contemporary perspective on working women that raises some difficult issues about equal wages, male perspectives on female success, and the pitfalls that women play into when it comes to career success. This is more of a biting and hard-edged book, but still applies to working women of all ages, similar to Lean In.

Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection by Debora L. Spar. Instead of focusing mainly on careers, the author takes a look at the life of the average woman and how she copes with mounting pressure to “have it all.” It also places contemporary women in an historical context by examining how our lives have (and have not) changed over the last forty years.
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LibraryThing member brianinbuffalo
Sandberg suggests in the early pages that male readers will also glean insights from her book . The author's assertion is accurate. "Lean In" is a meticulously-researched work that effectively blends studies and statistics with enlightening personal anecdotes. She traces the progress (albeit
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glacial) that women have made in the workplace and raises a smorgasbord of timely issues -- some of which many readers probably never gave much thought to in the past. For example, should all companies have designated parking spots for pregnant employees? Do many workers (both men and women) dislike assertive female executives more than they would if that leader was a male? While some of the chapters move a bit more slowly than others, Sandberg does a solid job making her points and suggesting ways that women can advance their leadership roles. "Lean In" also serves up some fascinating insights into a number of well-known corporations.
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LibraryThing member AJBraithwaite
Yes, I 'really liked it'. All the way through the book I was nodding my head, laughing or smiling ruefully at anecdotes, getting fired up to fight for the right of women to make the best choices for themselves and to be more assertive in asking for what they need and in supporting each other.
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Absolutely I think that 'mommy wars' between stay-at-home and working-out-of-the-home mothers are a terrible waste of energy and are ultimately harmful. Of course men and women need to be made aware of the unintentionally sexist views they might have about women in management positions.

I finished the book fired up, ready to recommend it to anybody.

Then I started to read the acknowledgements.

"My deepest thanks go to my writing partner Nell Scovell...She took a break from her work as a television writer/producer and journalist to make this a priority. She put in nights, early mornings, weekends, and holidays to accommodate my limited schedule...Nell's talent with words is matched only by her sense of humor...Her heart rings true and clear on this book's every page."

Oh. Brought up short. On every page? So why isn't her name on the front cover, Sheryl? Or even in the small print of the Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data?

Suddenly I felt let down. All that talk of supporting other women in the workplace, all those admissions that you had excellent help at home, somehow didn't add up to giving due credit on the cover of the book I'm holding right now to a woman who's effort went into "every page"?

I nearly threw it across the room.

But it's a library book, so of course I didn't do that.

So yes, it's a great book and one I still think everyone should read. But at the same time it also manages to be deeply disappointing.
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LibraryThing member mojomomma
Great read, discusses gender differences in life and in the workplace. Lots of good advice and several great stories. this really changed my point of view and I hope makes me aware of any gender bias that I am guilty of myself.
LibraryThing member LaurieAE
I really enjoyed listening to this audiobook. In fact, I devoured it on one trip to my hometown and back. Highly recommended.
LibraryThing member Amusedbythis
I rented the Kindle version from the library. Although the book is seemingly well-written and has a message for young women, I do not understand the controversy surrounding it. IMHO, this book is a continuation of feminist history.

I am older than Sandberg and am not surprised regarding her
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findings. Frankly, after reading a chapter or two, I am not interested in continuing to read the book to the end.
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LibraryThing member millieanne
I got this book thinking I would hate it and disagree with everything the author had to say. Surprisingly, I had a very different reaction after reading it. The book was well written, with some really valuable advice for women who are wanting to push themselves further but are getting stuck along
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the way. While I am not someone who supports bra burning, I did find myself nodding along with lots of the practical advice this lady gives. Also I thought it was incredibly refreshing to have someone say "You know what? You CAN be a good mother AND have a job you love." Plus there was some really good stuff in there about how to function realistically in a work environment, no matter what your gender is. All in all, this book is worth reading if you want a good shot of encouragement and realistic strategies for thriving as a woman in the workplace.
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LibraryThing member jlapac
I am pretty sure that if I wasn't listening to this book, I wouldn't have gotten through it. However, I do feel that it is worth reading/listening to a few times. There are great points that are well documented. I feel the need to buy it for the work Kindle and pass it around to the Management
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Team. I also feel the need to buy a print copy so I can go through and underline things I need/want to remember.
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LibraryThing member anyaejo
I loved this book so much. I have seen Sheryl speak in person once and on her TEDTalk. Some things were repeats, but a lot of it seemed new to me still! Her book is definitely aimed more at women who aim to achieve leadership in their field, but I think there is excellent advice for anyone who
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wants to be a working parent and especially also for men who want to get a better idea of how to support equality in this century. I had never even heard of pregnancy parking before! I'm going to check if my university has it asap since it just seems like an important idea.
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LibraryThing member dpappas
If you're a women and you want to feel empowered read this book. Apparently I wasn't feeling in an empowering mood. My views differ much from Sheryl Sandberg but that could be because I am in a different stage in my life. I am about to start a career and don't yet have a husband and children. When
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I was growing up my mother stayed home and took care of my sister and I. I am still thankful that she made that choice. Sure our budget was a lot tighter but I was able to spend time with my mother and have a real relationship with her instead of having to be in daycare or have a nanny take care of me. My sister became ill as a child and had to spend a lot of time in a hospital. Since my mother was a stay at home mom my parents were able to have one always at the hospital with my sister and one at home with me. Those experiences reinforce how important my mother's decision was. While I was in high school my mother went back into the workforce and is now still working. After everything that happened in my childhood I just can't agree that my life and my well-being would have been the same if my mother had been working.

I do admit that not everyone's situation is like my family's. Their are single moms that are the sole breadwinners for their families, and there are married mothers who have to work because their families need their paycheck. Those women are doing their best to make their family's lives better and I applaud them. I do understand and agree with what Sandberg says about the mother and father should be sharing the role of taking care of the children. A marriage is a partnership and both should be equal partners in raising the children. It isn't right for one partner to do all the work.

When I am faced with the decision to either stay home with my children or continue on in the workplace I know that my heart will lead me to my children. Who knows what the circumstances will be though, that might not be the decision that I can make. I just know that I am grateful to my mother for staying home with me and I only wish I could be the mother that she is.
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LibraryThing member St.CroixSue
A brilliant, inspiring, and practical book about women in the workplace and all the bias and ambiguity that continues to surround the issue. It is a fabulous continuation of a conversation started by feminists in the 1970’s. I would highly recommend this to all young men and women entering the
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workforce; actually everyone who wants to balance work and family and lead a satisfying life.
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LibraryThing member bakersfieldbarbara
Arguments galore about the worth of this book aside, as with every issue there are sides. I grew up leaning out, for fear of men and their power over me. I stepped out into careers only men had held before, but was treated with no respect and ignored. I achieved, but at a cost. Sheryl Sandberg has
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been there and done that, also piercing the myth that men can do it all, with no consequences. .This book and author speaks to every woman who has climbed as high as the glass ceiling with no team behind her.. And more importantly for those who have not yet started the climb out of fear.
The author's choice to focus on internal obstacles to women's advancement to holding back was exactly what I and thousands suffer daily. Hopefully, more from Ms.Sandberg will follow on this next exposure. I applaud her for her guts to tell it like it is and let the chips fall. In the meantime, buy this book for everyone in your social and family circle, especially the men! For those who did not like the book, good for you. You escaped this horrific treatment in your early years and cannot believe such things happen. Trust me, it is still happening today and you only need to pick up the paper to read the latest power trip by a man.
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LibraryThing member SeaHolly
An excellent book for everyone to read. She really shows some of the things that hold us back personally and as a culture. It is clear concise writing and she doesn't give in any to the working mom vs stay at home mom and even emphasises how detrimental it is to all women. It open up in a non
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judgmental way why women are not running more business and governments. This one will go right next to Think and A Woman: an intimate geography on my bookshelf.
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LibraryThing member bookworm12
I tend to avoid books like this like the plague. They often strike me as self-help nonsense that only tells people what they want to hear or what they already know. For me, this was not that at all. Sandberg’s goal with the book is to help women in the workforce to step up to the plate and get
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involved in their offices. So much of what she talked about (women not noting their own accomplishments, women being viewed in a negative light if they took on authority roles) were things I had seen for myself in my own career. Oh and did I mention she’s the COO of Facebook?

“A 2011 McKinsey report noted that men are promoted based on potential, while women are promoted based on past accomplishments.”

Though we have come a long way in gender equality in the workplace, we still have stigmas connected with certain decisions that affect the way we see ourselves. There are “working” moms and “stay-at-home” moms, yet we never quantify our male counterparts in the same way. Sandberg addresses these issues without ever condescending or saying that one choice it right for everyone. The important thing is to understand that you have a choice as a woman.

“For many men, the fundamental assumption is that they can have both a successful professional life and a fulfilling personal life. For many women, the assumption is that trying to do both is difficult at best and impossible at worst.”

One thing that particularly stuck in my mind was the Howard/Heidi study. People were asked to evaluate a potential employee based on a detailed resume with past experience, education, expertise and more. The only difference was that the name was female for some and male for others. Again, all the details of past jobs and experience were identical, yet people saw the female job candidate as someone who was aggressive or overly ambitious. They thought she might be qualified, but no one wanted to work with her. This was the response from both men and women! When a man is in a position of power he tends to be respected. When a woman is in the same position her actions are often seen as harsh. I kept thinking of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s SNL Weekend Update bit about “Bitches get stuff done!” It’s the same idea. Women are seen as bitches if they make hard decisions, while men are seen as strong leaders.

After reading The Feminine Mystique just last month, I found this one infinitely more applicable to my current life. She talks about the problems but she also provides actual advice and logical steps to take to overcome those hurdles. It was interesting to read them both and see how far we’ve come and how far we still have to go. She doesn’t simplify matters and make it seem like there’s an easy answer, but she addresses the problems without flinching and often the problem is the women themselves. She talks about this without blame or guilt. We’ve been trained that it’s more important to be liked than to be successful. Her approach is not to disregard out self-doubt completely, but to be confident in our abilities moving forward.

BOTTOM LINE: I really loved it and want to get my own copy for future reference and lending (I read a library copy.) Having just started a new job I hope that I can incorporate some of these tips into my daily interaction.

“The cost of stability is often diminished opportunities for growth.”

“In today’s world, we no longer have to hunt in the wild for our food, our desire for leadership is largely a culturally created and reinforced trait. How individuals view what they can and should accomplish is in large part formed by our societal expectations.”

“Searching for mentor has become the professional equivalent of waiting for Prince Charming.”
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LibraryThing member LaPhenix
Interesting and enlightening, though I'd hoped for a more thorough look into studies and the psychology.
LibraryThing member jmoncton
Sandberg is the COO of Facebook and discusses how women (and society) sabotage women's careers. Women need to take risks, find partners who will assume their fair share of the household/childcare chores and 'lean in' to the challenges of the working world. I found Sandberg surprisingly
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self-deprecating and she mentions many of her mistakes and weaknesses. This book is very controversial (think Tiger Mom here) and has been featured quite a bit in the media. It's definitely a good conversation starter.

Personally, many of her comments about how women are too focused on being pleasers or don't assert themselves really resonated with me and made me think of the many times where I did not 'sit at the table'. Very relevant for women in all positions.
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LibraryThing member ehousewright
Thought provoking, well done. I learned a bit about my own biases (knew I had them, just didn't really think through the implications) and have some fodder for discussions with younger family members.
LibraryThing member pw0327
A good friend threatened me if I did not procure and read this book. She claims this is as close to her experience in the world of politics, public policy and sports. I was pretty skeptical until I saw Sheryl Sandberg speak in a TED Talk and I was intrigued.

I bought the book and I sat down and
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read it. It wasn't very long and Sandberg has a very nice style of writing, the lessons flowed and the points were made very clearly and concisely. The book is organized partly as a scholarly study of feminism and a chronicle of women in the upper echelons of the new technology economy, yet it was also an autobiography of Sandberg's career in the highest reaches of politics and technology. It is this juxtaposition which is the most problematic and this is also where she is taking some lumps from conservative women. They were taking her to task for not having written a more traditional tome. The research done on the book was extensive, and perhaps true to Sandberg's background in business, she seemed, at least most of the way through the book, to be making a case in front of the board of directors rather than readers. I think she felt compelled to approach the subject with this kind of tactic because she wanted to fully support her case with full documentation. I appreciated the effort but I struggled my way through the footnotes and figures.

It wasn't until after the bulk of the point was made that the narrative flowed, Sandberg got away from the numbers because she was now writing from experience and her full emotional engagement was no long hampered by the statistics, this emancipated her prose to more effectively reflect her own passions and philosophy.

So what about the topic? Even though she wasn't completely original with her arguments, it is, after all a very broad subject which has dominated the landscape of the gender wars for quite a few decades. Sandberg makes her points forcefully and does bring a fresh spin to the age old questions. Her own solution to being a mom and a COO is too seemingly easy, and she easily acknowledges the fact that she has the wherewithal and means to resolve her scheduling problems by throwing money at it, she is very well paid. She was also honest and unapologetic about the path she has taken. The point is that you need to do the right thing your own way and that decision is the one that will do more to resolve the problems than anything else.

In the end, I think book shares a lot of lessons that are universal and that applies to any minority which are trying to make their way to a position of responsibility. The gender gap focuses the attention clearly and it exposes the rift between the traditionally powerful and those striving to get there. Sandberg's well delivered message rang true with this male who is an ethnic minority just as nicely as it would with a female striving towards the top.

I plan on giving this book to every young female professional that I know because I feel very strongly about the topic and I feel like Sandberg has done a great deal towards focusing attention and opening up the discourse on this particular topic area.
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Pages

240

ISBN

0385349947 / 9780385349949
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