Father Joe: The Man Who Saved My Soul

by Tony Hendra

Paperback, 2005

Status

Available

Description

A key comic writer of the past three decades has created his most heartfelt and hard-hitting book. Father Joe is Tony Hendra's inspiring true story of finding faith, friendship, and family through the decades-long influence of a surpassingly wise Benedictine monk named Father Joseph Warrillow. Like everything human, it started with sex. In 1955, fourteen-year-old Tony found himself entangled with a married Catholic woman. In Cold War England, where Catholicism was the subject of news stories and Graham Greene bestsellers, Tony was whisked off by the woman's husband to see a priest and be saved. Yet what he found was a far cry from the priests he'd known at Catholic school, where boys were beaten with belts or set upon by dogs. Instead, he met Father Joe, a gentle, stammering, ungainly Benedictine who never used the words "wrong" or "guilt," who believed that God was in everyone and that "the only sin was selfishness." During the next forty years, as his life and career drastically ebbed and flowed, Tony discovered that his visits to Father Joe remained the one constant in his life-the relationship that, in the most serious sense, saved it. From the fifties and his adolescent desire to join an abbey himself; to the sixties, when attending Cambridge and seeing the satire of Beyond the Fringe convinced him to change the world with laughter, not prayer; to the seventies and successful stints as an original editor of National Lampoon and a writer of Lemmings, the off-Broadway smash that introduced John Belushi and Chevy Chase; to professional disaster after co-creating the legendary English series Spitting Image; from drinking to drugs, from a failed first marriage to a successful second and the miracle of parenthood-the years only deepened Tony's need for the wisdom of his other and more real father, creating a bond that could not be broken, even by death. A startling departure for this acclaimed satirist, Father Joe is a sincere account of how Tony Hendra learned to love. It's the story of a whole generation looking for a way back from mockery and irony, looking for its own Father Joe, and a testament to one of the most charismatic mentors in modern literature.… (more)

User reviews

LibraryThing member libmhleigh
I really liked this book at the beginning, but to me it started to drag in the middle and end, say the last 200 pages (out of 400) or so. I just felt that the author was trying to make the work longer than it needed to be to accomplish its supposed purpose: write about Father Joe. Instead, a lot of
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it was self-absorbed rambling and was much more the author’s memoir than a biography of Father Joe. Really, it should more truthfully be called “My Soul Which Needed Saving, Including a Few Exciting but Brief Guest Spots by Father Joe.�€? I almost gave up reading it entirely for this reason, but I continued reading because I wanted to find out what was going to happen to the people involved. So it says something good about the author, that I finished the book because I was so invested in the characters, I just didn’t feel it should have been such a major struggle to do so. Of course, this was a best seller, so maybe lots of other people really enjoyed it, but I feel like it was one of those books that get bought a lot, but not read all the way through except for rarely. Ultimately, those people who bought it to read happy-Catholic-monks-are-super stories would be disappointed because there is so little of that (don’t be fooled by the monk on the cover, it’s Hendra’s life story we’re reading), and those who were not reading it for the happy-Catholic-monks-are-super aspect might have found the few instances that were included a bit tiring.
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LibraryThing member ElTomaso
This is a touching, well written story about how the love of a priest transformed a lost soul!
LibraryThing member drewandlori
Tony Hendra, best known as Spinal Tap's manager, wrote a brilliant autobiography of his journey to Catholicism, then away from it, and back again.
LibraryThing member Doondeck
Great story of a special spiritual advisor. Somewhat spoiled by later allegations of abuse by Hendra against his daughter.
LibraryThing member bobbieharv
This memoir got an adulatory review in the NYT Book Review. At first I thought I might agree - the part about him being seduced at 14 by a married woman was engrossing. But by the end I agreed with one of the daughters he allegedly molested - he's an insufferable selfish self-absorbed narcissist.
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And I started to wonder if Father Joe even existed.
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LibraryThing member PointedPundit
Rich, Powerful Portrait – the Best Book I have read in a Long Time

Father Joe is the story of author Tony Hendra’s faith journey. It is an inspiring, heartfelt story of the four decade relationship between the satirist and a surprisingly wise Benedictine monk named Father Joseph
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Warrillow.

Hendra, one of the original editors of National Lampoon, captures the beautiful essence of a truly God-inspired man. The portrait that emerges is of one a cleric who is a credit to Church, a cleric who is a credit to his Christ. Father Joe is truly a saint. Hendra, in a startling departure from his normal style, portrays Father Joe’s actions as non-judgmental, caring, and engaged.

This is the most powerful book I have read in a long time. If I have one criticism, it is Hendra’s prodigious talent occasionally clouds this great story. I would occasionally find myself re-reading a particularly clever or unique descriptive phrase. However, you should properly view those words as the musings of a less talented, envious and jealous writer.

Father Joe is a tribute to one of the most charismatic, selfless, spiritual mentors of our time. At times it is funny; at times it will bring tears to your eyes. Tony Hendra experienced a miracle. I am grateful he shared the story with me. Read the book. You will be grateful he shared it with you.
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LibraryThing member netoll
Everyone should have their own Father Joe....
LibraryThing member Treborjw
The only story read that ever brought me to tears.
LibraryThing member Patti77
I'm still reading this book and really enjoing it. It's an autobiography, actually a tribute to Father Joe who touched the life of comic Tony Hendra with his down to earth spirituality. Tony relates of how Father Joe influenced his life, by never judging him, but by standing next to him and giving
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the unexpected reply. Tony trusts the inner struggles he expierienced as a teen with his calling, desires and faith crises to paper in a very authentic way. Not possible to read this book without smiling out loud and enjoying the warmth of a genuine faith in God.
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LibraryThing member sergerca
In many parts, this is a very moving book. These are the parts where Hendra is with Fr. Joe at the abbey. But much, perhaps too much, of the book is just Hendra's life story. Of course, some of this needs to be recounted to understand how Fr. Joe "saved his soul".

One thing that bothered me (as a
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Catholic) is that, while Hendra confesses a great respect for the Eucharist, he sometimes seems more enamored with the rituals of the Church (e.g. chant, divine office, etc.) than with the actual faith. He takes several swipes at Catholic sexual morality - no surprises here considering his career as a "satirist." So I wasn't surprised that his political views were also left of center - he seriously labels Reagan and Thatcher "war mongers." I guess it comes with the territory.

But Fr. Joe is like no one else. By far, the best parts of the book are his conversations with Hendra. The insight of this man was staggering. His statement about how being at peace with God is not some feeling of constant elation, but rather a constant reassurance is that you're never alone really hit home. He had a wonderful way of exposing the truth to Hendra in a non-confrontational way that lead him back home. Best of all was how he pointed out, in a very gentle way, that satirists often are merely spouting hate at those they claim do nothing but spout hate. I'm not familiar with Hendra's other work, or if it changed after this realization, but I hope it did.

All in all, a worthwhile read.
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LibraryThing member lilyfathersjoy
I decided to get this book out of the library after listening to Hendra's contribution to a MOTH story-telling contest -- a recounting of one of the incidents in this book when he stumbles from the despair of a failed suicide attempt into his first improvisation as the manager in the classic rock
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doc spoof Spinal Tap.

You know you're in for a strange ride when Hendra begins the book with a monk, then plunges into the farcical yet poignant tale of how he met said monk. Hendra, age 15, was getting embroiled in an affair with a married woman at the time. Of course, all is not quite as it seems. It was the fifties in Britain and Hendra was a struggling Catholic.

In fact, the whole book is about things not being what they seem, of self-delusion and misplaced ambition. It turns out that Hendra, among many other things, was the man impersonating John Lennon howling "Genius is Pain!" on the infamous National Lampoon's Radio Dinner album in the 1970s, and as Lennon himself put it later: "Life is what happens when you're making other plans."

Derailed time and again by substance abuse, atheism, a disastrous marriage, and ego problems (both his and others'), Hendra returns to the Isle of Wight many times over the years for paternal love and guidance to the monk he calls "Father Joe". It is only after Father Joe's death that Hendra learns how far the monk's influence has reached.

Hendra has just enough humility and humour to make this tale of spiritual struggle palatable. The only time I found myself getting impatient with him is toward the end of the book when he speaks lyrically and lovingly of the children of his second marriage, when he has only mentioned in passing the daughters of his first. This seems sometimes to be the privilege of the multi-marrying male, to leave the previous marriage or marriages aside as mistakes (including the resulting children), and cleave to the progeny of the successful marriage.

The book is, however, a thought-provoking read and an interesting angle on English and American humour and satire in the late twentieth century.
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LibraryThing member petiteflour
This book is full of humility. I loved it. It reminded me that a sinner like me is still loved and embraced by my all forgiving Father. He is firm yet gentle. He is perfect. I wish I could have known Father Joe.
LibraryThing member JDHomrighausen
A very light and delightful read. Hendra is very open about the mistakes he's made and how the kind of comedy he did tore him up inside. My mom got me this when I was baptised and thoough I read it a few years later it was still a great book for someone new to the Christian life.
LibraryThing member rtilbury
This was an excellent and quick read. As a struggling Catholic I related well to the topic and dialogue. The authors writing style was witty, funny, and easy to read: A very excellent writer. I would recommend this book for those that struggle with faith, deal with guilt, Catholic or otherwise, and
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look to be inspired by a Father Joe, a true man of faith.
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LibraryThing member Heduanna
What to say, what to say? This book is misleadingly titled: Father Joe sounds like a saint, and a book about him would probably be lovely, but this book isn't it. This book is Tony Hendra's spiritual memoir and it's about Tony Hendra. Father Joe's role is central in much the same way as God is
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central to the Bible, that is to say: he doesn't actually show up very often.

On the other hand, if you accept it as such, it is a very well-written and beautiful memoir. Certainly well worth the time to read. (Bonus: he talks about bullying Steven Hawking into doing his math homework.)

Ah, but there's a world out there, and what's between any pair of covers is always an imperfect reflection of that world. What we can see from this book is that he married his college girlfriend, and they had two children (not quite in that order of operations). The details are sketchy, except that Father Joe keeps telling him to be "unselfish", beyond that we just know that he was a lousy husband and father and the marriage ended. And he doesn't seem to have a close relationship with the children of that first marriage: not only are they not mentioned by name, the book doesn't even specify that they were both daughters.

What you can't tell from the book is that the younger of his daughters, Jessica, has accused him of child molestation and, frankly, her story is a lot more credible than his denial. I wish I had known that before I read the book.

In sum: there is a saint here, but it ain't Hendra, and mostly you'll be hearing about Hendra.

Apparently, Father Joe was a close spiritual advisor to hundreds of people, including the Archbishop of Canterbury. So... Hendra is certainly not the only competent writer who ever knew him. Perhaps we can look forward to a book that's actually about Father Joe someday.
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LibraryThing member mrluckey
Interesting story; yet sad and the author had so much talent and potential he wasted advocating worthless causes.
LibraryThing member allenkeith
This book was worth reading and gets at the big questions about life, the journey of life. What is it that brings truth, beauty and goodness into our lives? What keeps these qualities at bay? What aspects of our lives must be thrown off or changed; what must be added to open one’s life or soul to
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truth, goodness and beauty? Life has a way of happening to us as much as we make it happen to life. How do we know what to change, let alone, how to change it? This book is the story of a soul who wants real life – something authentic and not a mere copy of some other life. It's about finding one's identity and destiny. The story tells of a seeker who along the way happens to find the consummate guide without knowing it. The guide is one who sustains and guides without doing so directly. Love powers and sustains what's good in the story – and opens the soul to receive the guidance. It shows how faith works over the long term. The story is about the guide as much as it is about the one being guided. So - therein is the intrigue of the book: one flawed human being, the seeker, juxtaposed to the true guide who is himself, truth, goodness and beauty – and love. This book gives us a true picture of love - what it looks like, how it is virtuously manifested as well as its diabolical opposites. The question also posed in the book is whether anyone can come to have a life of truth, goodness, beauty and love irrespective of their past or where they are presently in life.
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ISBN

9780812972344

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