Description
NEW EDITION, REVISED AND UPDATED What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? What if we systematically misunderstand that cause? And what if, as a result, we systematically perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve? Every day. From the authors of Leadership and Self-Deception comes an international bestseller that instills hope and inspires reconciliation. Through a moving story of parents who are struggling with their own children and with problems that have come to consume their lives, we learn from once-bitter enemies the way to transform personal, professional, and global conflicts, even when war is upon us.
Status
Available
Call number
Collections
Publication
Berrett-Koehler Publishers (2008), Edition: 1, 231 pages
User reviews
LibraryThing member Jozzer
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict always seemed to me to be the hardest to resolve. And then this book came along talking about how an Israeli and a Palestinian work together to bring peace in the heart of many people.
Basically their story is simple. You can do anything in life in one of two ways.
Why would you decide to be at war with yourself? Because somewhere in the past you made a decision not to honour a desire. Maybe you wanted to start your own business but thought you didn't have it in you. From then on you will need to justify to yourself why you did not act on your wish. And this has an influence on how you see the world and others. Your heart is at war.
Fortunately they also say how peace is attained. That is why the Arbinger Institute is spread all over the world growing at a steady pace. The most important is realizing when your heart is at war, stepping out of that framework and considering how you can add to more peace in the given situation. And this is always followed by action.
Basically their story is simple. You can do anything in life in one of two ways.
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Either you do them with your heart at peace or with your heart at war. In the first case you see others as people who have feelings, expectations, fears just like you. You will be empathic and will focus on building a relationship. In the second case others will be like objects to you. As such they become your target of blame, gossip and justification. Having a heart at peace does not mean that you are soft. With a peaceful heart you can even wage war! The difference being that human value is at the core of any action.Why would you decide to be at war with yourself? Because somewhere in the past you made a decision not to honour a desire. Maybe you wanted to start your own business but thought you didn't have it in you. From then on you will need to justify to yourself why you did not act on your wish. And this has an influence on how you see the world and others. Your heart is at war.
Fortunately they also say how peace is attained. That is why the Arbinger Institute is spread all over the world growing at a steady pace. The most important is realizing when your heart is at war, stepping out of that framework and considering how you can add to more peace in the given situation. And this is always followed by action.
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LibraryThing member tjsjohanna
Using the frame of parents brought together to leave their kids at a camp for troubled teens, this book explores the causes of conflict and offers solutions. The ideas are presented in a number of formats so learners of all kinds can find something for them. The story format, the illustrations, the
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outlined steps - all are different ways of getting to the basic message of learning to see others as people with value and then learning to build relationships. It is an intriguing idea and one that when practiced, can certainly make a difference. Show Less
LibraryThing member TBE
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict always seemed to me to be the hardest to resolve. And then this book came along talking about how an Israeli and a Palestinian work together to bring peace in the heart of many people.
Basically their story is simple. You can do anything in life in one of two ways.
Why would you decide to be at war with yourself? Because somewhere in the past you made a decision not to honour a desire. Maybe you wanted to start your own business but thought you didn't have it in you. From then on you will need to justify to yourself why you did not act on your wish. And this has an influence on how you see the world and others. Your heart is at war.
Fortunately they also say how peace is attained. That is why the Arbinger Institute is spread all over the world growing at a steady pace. The most important is realizing when your heart is at war, stepping out of that framework and considering how you can add to more peace in the given situation. And this is always followed by action. ( )
Basically their story is simple. You can do anything in life in one of two ways.
Show More
Either you do them with your heart at peace or with your heart at war. In the first case you see others as people who have feelings, expectations, fears just like you. You will be empathic and will focus on building a relationship. In the second case others will be like objects to you. As such they become your target of blame, gossip and justification. Having a heart at peace does not mean that you are soft. With a peaceful heart you can even wage war! The difference being that human value is at the core of any action.Why would you decide to be at war with yourself? Because somewhere in the past you made a decision not to honour a desire. Maybe you wanted to start your own business but thought you didn't have it in you. From then on you will need to justify to yourself why you did not act on your wish. And this has an influence on how you see the world and others. Your heart is at war.
Fortunately they also say how peace is attained. That is why the Arbinger Institute is spread all over the world growing at a steady pace. The most important is realizing when your heart is at war, stepping out of that framework and considering how you can add to more peace in the given situation. And this is always followed by action. ( )
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LibraryThing member AdrienneJS
This is a very good book that helps you think about how you can communicate and interact better with others. It presents the information in the form of a fictional story that contains other stories, which makes it a little more interesting than just listening to lectures and principles.
LibraryThing member DelightedLibrarian
I love this book because if you read it with an open heart, your heart will change. You come to see the truth behind your actions, thoughts and beliefs.
LibraryThing member deusvitae
An application of the dangers of self-deception message promoted by the Arbinger Institute, this time in terms of all sorts of relationships, from family members to among nation-states.
The information is set forth in yet another campy narrative; if you're following the story, it's all technically a
If anything I felt the presentation in The Anatomy of Peace felt more compelling and relevant since it was taken out of the workplace context (as in Leadership and Self-Deception). There is much to be gained from the premise of getting "out of the box" to see people as such, and not objects, to be warm toward them and work with them for their benefit, not merely yours.
As with Leadership and Self-Deception, so with The Anatomy of Peace: you have to get past the campy story that seems to follow extremely similar tropes, while understanding that it has to be told as a story or most people wouldn't get far in it. I'm still bothered that a book that's trying to humanize relationships is not even claimed by a human but by a rather impersonal Institute.
It would seem to me that the Arbinger Institute's emphasis on self-deception and the value of escaping it reflects a more masculine / conservative / libertarian perspective on what is becoming popular in feminine / liberal perspectives as vulnerability. There is certainly something to be gained from each perspective.
The information is set forth in yet another campy narrative; if you're following the story, it's all technically a
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flashback to the transformation of Lou Herbert who would go on to transform his company and lead to the context of Leadership and Self-Deception. Lou is learning about self-deception and blaming and its effects from Yusuf and Avi in the context of a boot camp to rehabilitate troubled youth. If anything I felt the presentation in The Anatomy of Peace felt more compelling and relevant since it was taken out of the workplace context (as in Leadership and Self-Deception). There is much to be gained from the premise of getting "out of the box" to see people as such, and not objects, to be warm toward them and work with them for their benefit, not merely yours.
As with Leadership and Self-Deception, so with The Anatomy of Peace: you have to get past the campy story that seems to follow extremely similar tropes, while understanding that it has to be told as a story or most people wouldn't get far in it. I'm still bothered that a book that's trying to humanize relationships is not even claimed by a human but by a rather impersonal Institute.
It would seem to me that the Arbinger Institute's emphasis on self-deception and the value of escaping it reflects a more masculine / conservative / libertarian perspective on what is becoming popular in feminine / liberal perspectives as vulnerability. There is certainly something to be gained from each perspective.
Show Less
Language
Original language
English
Original publication date
2010
Physical description
231 p.; 8.5 inches
ISBN
1576755843 / 9781576755846