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"Here are engaging and digestible lessons for couples navigating the life changes brought about by a cancer diagnosis. Dan Shapiro draws on his more than twenty-five years of clinical work as a health psychologist who has researched and worked with couples facing cancer, and on his own experiences of being both the patient (having and beating Hodgkin s lymphoma in his twenties) and the supporter/advocate (when his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer) to weave together insights on facing cancer while maintaining a strong relationship. And in Healthgives advice in short lessons on the main areas of concern or conflict that can come from life with cancer from diagnosis to treatment and life post-treatment. Topics include- How to forge yourselves into a powerful team and avoid common conflict points Dealing with physicians and getting the best care possible, along with tips for navigating the medical world Strategies for coping with the emotions that can interfere with your relationship anger, mood swings, spouse fears, and depression Distinguishing between supportive and draining people in your lives, and learning to invite and accept help… (more)
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And in Health is organized according to the stages of cancer diagnosis and treatment. Shapiro begins with things couples need to know immediately, such as when to do research and where, continuing through to the difficult long-term conversations couples will have about their sex lives, and issues related to death and dying. He encourages both partners to express their emotions and listen to each other, and offers exercises to build the relationship skills couples need to cope with their cancers.
I particularly liked the way Shapiro addresses each spouse in turn: He counsels the patient, “multiply your surgeon’s estimate of your recovery time by three and ask a nurse what’s really going to happen.” And to the caregiver, he writes, “spouses may need to learn to advocate for their partner.” He also advises both partners: “if either of you develops depression, get it treated!”
And in Health is extensively cited. Check the references at the end for the research behind the narrative.
Reviewed by Mira Geffner, Bay Area Cancer Connections
http://bcconnections.org/caregivers/bookreview_andinhealth/