Status
Available
Call number
Publication
Little, Brown and Company (2019), 400 pages
Description
In this thoughtful treatise spurred by the 2015 death of African-American academic Sandra Bland in jail after a traffic stop, New Yorker writer Gladwell (The Tipping Point) aims to figure out the strategies people use to assess strangers-to "analyze, critique them, figure out where they came from, figure out how to fix them," in other words: to understand how to balance trust and safety. He uses a variety of examples from history and recent headlines to illustrate that people size up the motivations, emotions, and trustworthiness of those they don't know both wrongly and with misplaced confidence.
User reviews
LibraryThing member Tytania
Malcolm Gladwell’s latest is as much an engrossing page-turner as any. It goes off on many tangents but all are related to the theme of how we “get things wrong,” particularly when judging and trying to interpret strangers. His goal is to try to examine in detail what happened in one
Gladwell brackets the book with the story of Sandra Bland. Ultimately, he comes to the explanation that the police department in question was applying an aggressive kind of “stop and frisk” as applied to cars that had no place in a low-crime area such as the rural Texas road where Bland was pulled over. Police departments across the country have misinterpreted an approach to preventive crime fighting that was proven effective in extremely targeted high-crime areas, and are applying it globally.
So, the results of a study are misinterpreted. This puts two strangers in a confrontational situation they should not be in. And they get it tragically wrong.
Thus, a book about the bigger picture of “Talking to Strangers”. There is a chapter about the Penn State child abuse case; and one about college drinking, blacking out, and date rape; and one about the murder case that happened in Italy involving American students. I particularly liked one about how the suicide rate in England plummeted as the nation switched from what they called “town gas,” which will kill you if you stick your head in the oven, to a new formula of natural gas which was not lethal. Turns out (“turns out” – there’s a cliché that that phrase is what all Gladwell books boil down to)… people don’t so much want to kill themselves in general, as to kill themselves in a particular way. Take away that method and… they very well might not. People’s desires are situational. Thus, efforts to put life-saving nets off the Golden Gate Bridge; and, of course, handgun control. Impediments like these, which take away or effectively hinder the possibility of ending one’s life in a particular way, can save lives.
So, um, where were we – that’s right, “Talking to Strangers”! It’s really hard in retrospect for me to remember how all these things tied into that overarching theme. It’s a bit of a stretch, but they do all seem to contribute to the narrative of “things going wrong” in the Sandra Bland case. I didn’t mind the stretch. I love Gladwell’s books and I can’t resist being happily carried along into any tangent he cares to take me to.
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particular case of a traffic stop come to a tragic end. Sandra Bland was pulled over for failing to signal; she was rude to the cop; things escalated, and she was jailed. She killed herself in her jail cell.Gladwell brackets the book with the story of Sandra Bland. Ultimately, he comes to the explanation that the police department in question was applying an aggressive kind of “stop and frisk” as applied to cars that had no place in a low-crime area such as the rural Texas road where Bland was pulled over. Police departments across the country have misinterpreted an approach to preventive crime fighting that was proven effective in extremely targeted high-crime areas, and are applying it globally.
So, the results of a study are misinterpreted. This puts two strangers in a confrontational situation they should not be in. And they get it tragically wrong.
Thus, a book about the bigger picture of “Talking to Strangers”. There is a chapter about the Penn State child abuse case; and one about college drinking, blacking out, and date rape; and one about the murder case that happened in Italy involving American students. I particularly liked one about how the suicide rate in England plummeted as the nation switched from what they called “town gas,” which will kill you if you stick your head in the oven, to a new formula of natural gas which was not lethal. Turns out (“turns out” – there’s a cliché that that phrase is what all Gladwell books boil down to)… people don’t so much want to kill themselves in general, as to kill themselves in a particular way. Take away that method and… they very well might not. People’s desires are situational. Thus, efforts to put life-saving nets off the Golden Gate Bridge; and, of course, handgun control. Impediments like these, which take away or effectively hinder the possibility of ending one’s life in a particular way, can save lives.
So, um, where were we – that’s right, “Talking to Strangers”! It’s really hard in retrospect for me to remember how all these things tied into that overarching theme. It’s a bit of a stretch, but they do all seem to contribute to the narrative of “things going wrong” in the Sandra Bland case. I didn’t mind the stretch. I love Gladwell’s books and I can’t resist being happily carried along into any tangent he cares to take me to.
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LibraryThing member DavidWineberg
Malcolm Gladwell’s latest foray into human folly is its seemingly innate trust in strangers. We assume strangers are transparent, and can take what they do and say at face value. Sometimes we are wrong, but assuming everyone is evil is far worse. Talking To Strangers focuses (mostly) on a number
Gladwell looks at them differently. He looks at them not from simple guilt or innocence, but from the misread signals that have surrounded them. The result can be a ruined life, prison or even death, unearned. On the other side (the investigator side), they can result in self-delusion, missed opportunities and complete wastes of time achieving nothing. It’s an imperfection he exploits repeatedly throughout the book.
It all hinges on the notion of transparency, what people assume about strangers just by looking at them. Judges make decision about bail, college students make decisions about having sex, investigators make assumptions about guilt – all just by looking and talking to strangers. Gladwell shows we do pretty poorly, especially compared to machines given raw data. Systems have a far better record of assigning or withholding bail, for example. Judges, even after decades of experience, fool themselves daily.
There is a side trip into coupling, where people fixate on something. In his chapter on the suicide of Sylvia Plath, he examines the role of town gas, saturated with carbon monoxide, which was the favorite method of suicide until it was phased out in favor of natural gas. As it disappeared, the suicide rate plunged. If people didn’t have their town gas, they didn’t kill themselves. They did not, as expected, look for alternatives. It was town gas, or nothing. Similarly, the Golden Gate Bridge is a favorite suicide tool, even though faster and easier methods are readily available.
Gladwell discovers that different cultures appreciate facial expressions differently. There are no real universals. He finds that people default to trusting others unless they know them already. Otherwise we would all be like television Vikings, constantly killing each other for lack of trust.
Talking To Strangers feels incomplete and unsatisfying. It’s no news to anyone that first impressions might not prove correct. It’s why it takes five to ten years for a marriage to break up, or months for a teenage relationship. How people we thought we knew could turn out to be evil on some level. We feel betrayed (but we betrayed ourselves). Suspension of disbelief (a term Gladwell does use at any point in the book) means we ignore the defects and faults we are presented with, and assume the best for this stranger. Later, those same faults become intolerable. But we know this.
Oddly, he does not examine American gun culture as substitute for this normal transparency and trust.
He discovers that alcohol doesn’t reveal, it transforms. There are good drunks and bad drunks, good trips and bad trips. The real you is not revealed by alcohol; you become a stranger to yourself. We drink so much more per session today that blackouts have become common and even measurable and predictable. Drink too much and your brain shuts down so you remember nothing. You leave yourself in the hands of a complete stranger – yourself. This is also not news.
Still and as usual, Gladwell is easy to read. He packs his pages with these fascinating sidelights, and confirms much of what we have always suspected. Too trusting is being gullible. Non-trusting means a monster.
The most clear and chilling example he gives was the Ana Montes case, in which a Cuban intelligence mole worked her way up through the US security establishment with such great accomplishments and accolades that no one suspected her, despite the gigantic clues and traceable events. Leaks followed her everywhere. It was a case of suspension of disbelief as clear and dramatic as a teenager watching a terrible sci-fi flick. The CIA counterintelligence officer in charge, who finally outed her and stopped the hemorrhaging, kicks himself for not putting 2+2 together years earlier.
The best quote comes in the Khalid Sheik Mohammed case. Years of torture, both physical and psychological led Mohammed to finally confess. He confessed to pretty much everything in the world. The investigators began to think he was puffing himself up for posterity, knowing under no circumstances would he ever be set free. It made them (as so many have before them) rethink torture: “Trying to get information out of someone you are sleep-depriving is sort of like trying to get a better signal out of a radio that you are smashing with a sledgehammer.…It makes no sense to me at all.” But we carry on, regardless.
Gladwell has great command of his thoughts. He handles his subject with comfort and ease. He will take you down strange paths and bring you back when he’s ready. And not before. So while it might be incomplete, it is engaging and entertaining.
In the end, Gladwell has so immersed himself in the Sandra Bland case and the psychology and tactics at every level, that he can explain it way beyond simply a cop gone bad. He says according to the known science he has explained, the police should not have been making stops on that stretch of road, and not in broad daylight. That the directions of management to make as many stops as possible was wrong, as was the police manual on obtaining and maintaining control over suspects. Mostly, from the context of this book, the officer took all the clues he found – an out of state license, an aggravated driver, fast food wrappers on the floor, no other keys on the keychain, failure to put out a cigarette on command – as nefarious instead of ordinary. He was trained to do the opposite of what we all do innately: assume truth and transparency in a stranger. That drivers should not be suspects; they are simply strangers. While that might let the occasional bad guy get away, the pain for treating everybody as a suspect is the kind of thing that can stop human society in its tracks. Our fundamental baseline must lean toward assuming transparency and trust. It is a necessary illusion.
David Wineberg
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of very high profile criminal cases we are all likely to be familiar with. They include the Amanda Knox case, the Jerry Sandusky case, the Brock Turner case, the Sandra Bland case, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, and the Bernie Madoff case. Gladwell looks at them differently. He looks at them not from simple guilt or innocence, but from the misread signals that have surrounded them. The result can be a ruined life, prison or even death, unearned. On the other side (the investigator side), they can result in self-delusion, missed opportunities and complete wastes of time achieving nothing. It’s an imperfection he exploits repeatedly throughout the book.
It all hinges on the notion of transparency, what people assume about strangers just by looking at them. Judges make decision about bail, college students make decisions about having sex, investigators make assumptions about guilt – all just by looking and talking to strangers. Gladwell shows we do pretty poorly, especially compared to machines given raw data. Systems have a far better record of assigning or withholding bail, for example. Judges, even after decades of experience, fool themselves daily.
There is a side trip into coupling, where people fixate on something. In his chapter on the suicide of Sylvia Plath, he examines the role of town gas, saturated with carbon monoxide, which was the favorite method of suicide until it was phased out in favor of natural gas. As it disappeared, the suicide rate plunged. If people didn’t have their town gas, they didn’t kill themselves. They did not, as expected, look for alternatives. It was town gas, or nothing. Similarly, the Golden Gate Bridge is a favorite suicide tool, even though faster and easier methods are readily available.
Gladwell discovers that different cultures appreciate facial expressions differently. There are no real universals. He finds that people default to trusting others unless they know them already. Otherwise we would all be like television Vikings, constantly killing each other for lack of trust.
Talking To Strangers feels incomplete and unsatisfying. It’s no news to anyone that first impressions might not prove correct. It’s why it takes five to ten years for a marriage to break up, or months for a teenage relationship. How people we thought we knew could turn out to be evil on some level. We feel betrayed (but we betrayed ourselves). Suspension of disbelief (a term Gladwell does use at any point in the book) means we ignore the defects and faults we are presented with, and assume the best for this stranger. Later, those same faults become intolerable. But we know this.
Oddly, he does not examine American gun culture as substitute for this normal transparency and trust.
He discovers that alcohol doesn’t reveal, it transforms. There are good drunks and bad drunks, good trips and bad trips. The real you is not revealed by alcohol; you become a stranger to yourself. We drink so much more per session today that blackouts have become common and even measurable and predictable. Drink too much and your brain shuts down so you remember nothing. You leave yourself in the hands of a complete stranger – yourself. This is also not news.
Still and as usual, Gladwell is easy to read. He packs his pages with these fascinating sidelights, and confirms much of what we have always suspected. Too trusting is being gullible. Non-trusting means a monster.
The most clear and chilling example he gives was the Ana Montes case, in which a Cuban intelligence mole worked her way up through the US security establishment with such great accomplishments and accolades that no one suspected her, despite the gigantic clues and traceable events. Leaks followed her everywhere. It was a case of suspension of disbelief as clear and dramatic as a teenager watching a terrible sci-fi flick. The CIA counterintelligence officer in charge, who finally outed her and stopped the hemorrhaging, kicks himself for not putting 2+2 together years earlier.
The best quote comes in the Khalid Sheik Mohammed case. Years of torture, both physical and psychological led Mohammed to finally confess. He confessed to pretty much everything in the world. The investigators began to think he was puffing himself up for posterity, knowing under no circumstances would he ever be set free. It made them (as so many have before them) rethink torture: “Trying to get information out of someone you are sleep-depriving is sort of like trying to get a better signal out of a radio that you are smashing with a sledgehammer.…It makes no sense to me at all.” But we carry on, regardless.
Gladwell has great command of his thoughts. He handles his subject with comfort and ease. He will take you down strange paths and bring you back when he’s ready. And not before. So while it might be incomplete, it is engaging and entertaining.
In the end, Gladwell has so immersed himself in the Sandra Bland case and the psychology and tactics at every level, that he can explain it way beyond simply a cop gone bad. He says according to the known science he has explained, the police should not have been making stops on that stretch of road, and not in broad daylight. That the directions of management to make as many stops as possible was wrong, as was the police manual on obtaining and maintaining control over suspects. Mostly, from the context of this book, the officer took all the clues he found – an out of state license, an aggravated driver, fast food wrappers on the floor, no other keys on the keychain, failure to put out a cigarette on command – as nefarious instead of ordinary. He was trained to do the opposite of what we all do innately: assume truth and transparency in a stranger. That drivers should not be suspects; they are simply strangers. While that might let the occasional bad guy get away, the pain for treating everybody as a suspect is the kind of thing that can stop human society in its tracks. Our fundamental baseline must lean toward assuming transparency and trust. It is a necessary illusion.
David Wineberg
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LibraryThing member Alliebadger
Interesting concepts, but told in a self-important and, in the end, despairing way. I appreciate the depth of research and thought behind the ideas, but I don’t really know what Gladwell wanted me to do about them (other than be impressed and saddened).
LibraryThing member bookworm12
Using clips from real interviews, news casts, and speeches the audio is compulsively readable. Gladwell dives deep into well-known cases like schemer Bernie Madoff and pedophiles Jerry Sandusky and Larry Nassar. He explores how a Cuban spy could deceive everyone who knew her and how Sylvia
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Plath’s suicide was connected to the strange trend of coupling. I found myself constantly thinking, I didn’t know that! The Sandra Bland case provided a narrative thread that ties it all together. Impeccably researched, this is one of the author’s best! Show Less
LibraryThing member ericlee
I think I read a negative review of this book somewhere. And for that reason, I delayed buying it. Which is odd because I think I've read -- and really enjoyed -- all his other books. But now having completed the book in two days, I can safely say the Malcolm Gladwell has done it again. He may not
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always be right, but he is always interesting, and he writes so damn well. I love the way he tells a story, introduces a character, and returns to it again and again. By the end of the book, one knows the story so well, and it is so convincing -- and well, I think every writer wishes they could write this well. Show Less
LibraryThing member LynnB
Malcolm Gladwell always make me think...and that's what I look for in my reading. In this book, he uses current and historical events to illustrate three near-universal mistakes we make when talking to strangers. We tend to "default to truth", meaning we mostly believe people are honest. Which can
Second, we believe in transparency. That sad people will look sad, angry people will look angry, etc. When someone's words and behaviour, or tone, or body language, seem out of sync according to our cultural expectations, we tend to misunderstand them.
Finally, he discusses the concept of "coupling", which means that specific behaviour is contextual. If we don't know the context in which someone is operating (their culture and/or personal circumstances), we can misinterpret their actions.
Well written, accessible, thought-provoking as usual from Mr. Gladwell.
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be a problem, but is mostly a good thing because most people are honest. And, our society would not be able to function if it were otherwise, or if most of us believed it to be otherwise.Second, we believe in transparency. That sad people will look sad, angry people will look angry, etc. When someone's words and behaviour, or tone, or body language, seem out of sync according to our cultural expectations, we tend to misunderstand them.
Finally, he discusses the concept of "coupling", which means that specific behaviour is contextual. If we don't know the context in which someone is operating (their culture and/or personal circumstances), we can misinterpret their actions.
Well written, accessible, thought-provoking as usual from Mr. Gladwell.
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LibraryThing member Brown
Malcolm Gladwell is the kind of author who causes many to look forward to the next book. Each of his earlier books has combined diverse illustrations to develop a central conclusion. This book was a disappointment. What appeared to be the theme had to endure several marginally related stories that
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distracted from the primary topic. Additionally, it is in these nearly irrelevant side stories that we encounter crude language and unnecessary details of unspeakable acts. Hopefully, the next book we are looking forward to will return to the higher level of class we expect. Show Less
LibraryThing member NeedMoreShelves
This book was.....not AT ALL about what I expected it to be about, but being a Malcolm Gladwell joint it was still quite fascinating.
Somewhat horrifying into about how inept the CIA is here in the US...along with some interesting analysis about some of the major headline grabbing assault cases of
If you like Gladwell, you'll like this.
Somewhat horrifying into about how inept the CIA is here in the US...along with some interesting analysis about some of the major headline grabbing assault cases of
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the past decade. If you like Gladwell, you'll like this.
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LibraryThing member Katyefk
Interesting research and observations. The insights made me think about how I may judge strangers incorrectly. But I did not feel that I learned much to apply to my life other than to not put the blame on the other person automatically. I was reading it to recommend to our non-fiction book club. I
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would not recommend it at this time. Show Less
LibraryThing member Cecilturtle
Why do we judge the way we do? Why are we blinded by certain people and their glaring faults? Why do we tend to paint everyone with the same brush? Gladwell strives to answer all of these questions and more to analyse some of the glaring behaviours that we're quick to forgive or condemn, A
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captivating read, the book presents multiple well-known cases to bring to light their multiple facets, The ending is a bit of a one-sided diatribe, quickly slapped together, but the book itself is worth the detour. Show Less
LibraryThing member JosephKing6602
Anyone will like this book! I like his insights; but once he presents a theory/principle, he might overlook counter evidence.e g. Confirmation bias; risk aversion, etc
LibraryThing member ozzer
Gladwell once again explores familiar things with fascinating new insights based the actual scientific literature. In this instance, he looks into the flaws inherent in human interactions. He uses his trademark examples from the historical and current record to make his points— the suicides of
Some of his points are indeed surprising. Alcohol's primary effect is not to lower inhibitions, but to restrict our focus to the moment. Blackouts are, in fact, really that. Our tendency to default on the truth in our interactions can cause problems, but, without it, efficient human intercourse would be impossible. All humans are terrible at inferring a person's mental state from facial and other bodily cues. Successful suicides are coupled to the availability of specific means and, without those, success is unlikely.
The feeling that Gladwell may oversimplify complex issues seems valid, but his books are nonetheless quite rewarding and fun for the lay reader. Think TED Talks and you get the idea.
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Sandra Bland, Anne Sexton, and Silvia Plath; the murder trials of Amanda Knox; Neville Chamberlain's misunderstanding of Hitler's intent; the Stanford date rape case; the Friends TV show; the torture of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed; the failures of CIA counterintelligence programs, etc.Some of his points are indeed surprising. Alcohol's primary effect is not to lower inhibitions, but to restrict our focus to the moment. Blackouts are, in fact, really that. Our tendency to default on the truth in our interactions can cause problems, but, without it, efficient human intercourse would be impossible. All humans are terrible at inferring a person's mental state from facial and other bodily cues. Successful suicides are coupled to the availability of specific means and, without those, success is unlikely.
The feeling that Gladwell may oversimplify complex issues seems valid, but his books are nonetheless quite rewarding and fun for the lay reader. Think TED Talks and you get the idea.
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LibraryThing member Tatoosh
“Talking to Strangers” is another of Gladwell’s now well-established efforts to use research and principles derived from the social sciences to analyze aspects of contemporary society. The issues considered in this volume is broader than some of his earlier works, but the focuses is on the
The range of topic is diverse: Cuban spies, Adolph Hitler, Bernard Madoff, Jerry Sandusky, Amanda Knox, Sylvia Plath, torturing suspected terrorists, rape, police practices, prostitution, and Sandra Bland. The mistakes made in attempting to understand each is described, then psychological, sociological, and anthropological theories and research studies are introduced to explain the mistakes.
Gladwell identifies three general principles he believes underlie our frequent failure to understand others. Default to truth is the tendency to believe what others say is true, even when doubt exists. According to Gladwell, we have an innate tendency to give others the benefit of the doubt until substantial grounds for skepticism exist.
Transparency refers to the tendency to believe that a person’s external appearance provides valid information about their emotions experiencing. If a person appears to be mad (or happy, sad, excited, … ) we believe the person is experiencing the emotion we perceive.
The third principle is the failure to recognize that some behaviors are “coupled” with specific environmental settings. For example, a person who decides to commit suicide decides to do it at a specific place at a specific time in a specific way. The same applies to other decisions such as deciding to commit robbery, rape, prostitution, and so on. Therefore, modifying the setting to prevent the behavior at the intended place will result in many people not doing the behavior at all. For example, preventing suicide or prostitution at locations they typically occur will reduce the incidence of those behaviors significantly. None of these are absolute panaceas, but Gladwell cite evidence showing a fifty percent reduction in prostitution, suicide, and other behaviors following changes that prevent those behaviors in areas formerly choses for those behaviors.
Gladwell has been criticized in the past for his overly simplistic solutions to complex social problems such as these and the evidence is less definitive than he asserts. In reply he claims his goal is not to suggest foolproof solutions, it is to highlight issues needing attention and to start a conversation. “Talking to Strangers” certainly does raise issues that would benefit from a vigorous conversation and careful consideration.
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mistakes people make when attempting to understand others. In the sense used in the title, everyone we interact with is a “stranger,” but “Talking to Strangers” is a snazzier title than “Talking to Other People.”The range of topic is diverse: Cuban spies, Adolph Hitler, Bernard Madoff, Jerry Sandusky, Amanda Knox, Sylvia Plath, torturing suspected terrorists, rape, police practices, prostitution, and Sandra Bland. The mistakes made in attempting to understand each is described, then psychological, sociological, and anthropological theories and research studies are introduced to explain the mistakes.
Gladwell identifies three general principles he believes underlie our frequent failure to understand others. Default to truth is the tendency to believe what others say is true, even when doubt exists. According to Gladwell, we have an innate tendency to give others the benefit of the doubt until substantial grounds for skepticism exist.
Transparency refers to the tendency to believe that a person’s external appearance provides valid information about their emotions experiencing. If a person appears to be mad (or happy, sad, excited, … ) we believe the person is experiencing the emotion we perceive.
The third principle is the failure to recognize that some behaviors are “coupled” with specific environmental settings. For example, a person who decides to commit suicide decides to do it at a specific place at a specific time in a specific way. The same applies to other decisions such as deciding to commit robbery, rape, prostitution, and so on. Therefore, modifying the setting to prevent the behavior at the intended place will result in many people not doing the behavior at all. For example, preventing suicide or prostitution at locations they typically occur will reduce the incidence of those behaviors significantly. None of these are absolute panaceas, but Gladwell cite evidence showing a fifty percent reduction in prostitution, suicide, and other behaviors following changes that prevent those behaviors in areas formerly choses for those behaviors.
Gladwell has been criticized in the past for his overly simplistic solutions to complex social problems such as these and the evidence is less definitive than he asserts. In reply he claims his goal is not to suggest foolproof solutions, it is to highlight issues needing attention and to start a conversation. “Talking to Strangers” certainly does raise issues that would benefit from a vigorous conversation and careful consideration.
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LibraryThing member lilibrarian
Discussion of how easy it is to judge people you don't know based on misleading criteria, using recent news events as examples.
LibraryThing member PhilipJHunt
I would usually only give 5 stars to a book with, imho, outstanding literary merit. “Talking to Strangers” instead is outstanding journalism. Accessible, intelligent, fun and fascinating stories that illuminate deeper truths, told with page-turning panache.
Furthermore, here is 5-star sociology
This is an important book that should change society and question how we deal with, among other things, crime prevention. For example, did you know that 95% of guns go undetected in airport security scans? Read this book to find out why and, more profoundly, what that means.
Furthermore, here is 5-star sociology
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communicating with such clarity that you find yourself nodding and whispering “Of course”. As another reviewer commented “Gladwell makes you feel like you’re a genius”. This is an important book that should change society and question how we deal with, among other things, crime prevention. For example, did you know that 95% of guns go undetected in airport security scans? Read this book to find out why and, more profoundly, what that means.
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LibraryThing member brianinbuffalo
As a long-time Gladwell admirer, I expected to like his latest book. In reality, I loved it. This is one work that should be experienced as an audiobook. One promotional teaser accurately states that the work “seamlessly marries audiobooks and podcasts, creating a completely new and listening
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experience.” Gladwell skillfully explores how we communicate – or more accurately – miscommunicate with strangers. And what an eclectic cast of characters he uses to illustrate the challenges. Adolf Hitler and Neville Chamberlain. Bernie Madoff. Sylvia Plath. Osama bin Laden. Amanda Knox. Jerry Sandusky. Fidel Castro. True, Gladwell does meander a bit in spots. What's more, some of the conclusions he reaches seem to be a bit of stretch for me. But “Talking to Strangers” is filled with news-you-can-use insights. He spends a lot of time exploring why we tend to default to “trust” when we evaluate the actions of people. He notes that even with the miscalculations we might make as a result of this tendency, the alternative could be worse. This is an excellent book for anyone who is interested in delving into the tricky dynamics of interacting with strangers. Show Less
LibraryThing member shelleyraec
“We think we can easily see into the hearts of others based on the flimsiest of clues. We jump at the chance to judge strangers. We would never do that to ourselves, of course. We are nuanced and complex and enigmatic. But the stranger is easy. If I can convince you of one thing in this book, let
In Talking to Strangers, Malcolm Gladwell, the author of five NewYork Times Bestseller non-fiction titles, explores the factors at play when we make judgements about who people are, and why our interactions with strangers so often leads to misunderstanding and conflict.
“We start by believing. And we stop believing only when our doubts and misgivings rise to the point where we can no longer explain them away.“
By default most humans afford each other some level of trust, we must in order to operate within society, the advantage to human beings, in assuming that strangers are truthful, results in efficient communication and social coordination, argues psychologist Tim Levine. He calls this the Truth-Default Theory and in Talking to Strangers, Gladwell examines how this instinctive behaviour shapes our interactions with others, why it matters, and what happens when we get it wrong.
“Transparency is the idea that people’s behavior and demeanor—the way they represent themselves on the outside—provides an authentic and reliable window into the way they feel on the inside.”
Most of us believe we know when someone is telling the truth, or being deceptive - that we can tell by a person’s behaviour, demeanour, or even their attractiveness. Statistically however our ability to determine someone’s truthfulness seems to be quite poor, particularly when there is a mismatch between behaviour and intent. Gladwell discusses how this applies by looking at relevant high profile cases involving people such as Bernie Madoff, and Amanda Knox.
“Coupling is the idea that behaviors are linked to very specific circumstances and conditions.”
Gladwell also introduces the idea that context has a greater influence on our interactions with strangers than often considered. I found this information interesting but I think he overlooked the obvious, and more relatable, aspects of this argument.
In fact there were several issues I thought would be relevant to the discussion in Talking To Strangers that Gladwell barely mentioned, if at all, particularly in terms of how interactions are influenced by conditions such as narcissism and anti-social disorders (which matter when you are talking about politicians), and the difference between how men and women judge strangers. In fact the perspective of this book feels overwhelmingly masculine even though the subject of the book was inspired by the death of a woman, Sandra Bland.
“But the requirement of humanity means that we have to tolerate an enormous amount of error. That is the paradox of talking to strangers. We need to talk to them. But we’re terrible at it...”
I wasn’t entirely convinced in regards to some of Gladwell’s analysis, but I found the narrative to be accessible and the subject thought-provoking. I know I will likely be more conscious of my thought process the next time I talk with a strange
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it be this: Strangers are not easy.”In Talking to Strangers, Malcolm Gladwell, the author of five NewYork Times Bestseller non-fiction titles, explores the factors at play when we make judgements about who people are, and why our interactions with strangers so often leads to misunderstanding and conflict.
“We start by believing. And we stop believing only when our doubts and misgivings rise to the point where we can no longer explain them away.“
By default most humans afford each other some level of trust, we must in order to operate within society, the advantage to human beings, in assuming that strangers are truthful, results in efficient communication and social coordination, argues psychologist Tim Levine. He calls this the Truth-Default Theory and in Talking to Strangers, Gladwell examines how this instinctive behaviour shapes our interactions with others, why it matters, and what happens when we get it wrong.
“Transparency is the idea that people’s behavior and demeanor—the way they represent themselves on the outside—provides an authentic and reliable window into the way they feel on the inside.”
Most of us believe we know when someone is telling the truth, or being deceptive - that we can tell by a person’s behaviour, demeanour, or even their attractiveness. Statistically however our ability to determine someone’s truthfulness seems to be quite poor, particularly when there is a mismatch between behaviour and intent. Gladwell discusses how this applies by looking at relevant high profile cases involving people such as Bernie Madoff, and Amanda Knox.
“Coupling is the idea that behaviors are linked to very specific circumstances and conditions.”
Gladwell also introduces the idea that context has a greater influence on our interactions with strangers than often considered. I found this information interesting but I think he overlooked the obvious, and more relatable, aspects of this argument.
In fact there were several issues I thought would be relevant to the discussion in Talking To Strangers that Gladwell barely mentioned, if at all, particularly in terms of how interactions are influenced by conditions such as narcissism and anti-social disorders (which matter when you are talking about politicians), and the difference between how men and women judge strangers. In fact the perspective of this book feels overwhelmingly masculine even though the subject of the book was inspired by the death of a woman, Sandra Bland.
“But the requirement of humanity means that we have to tolerate an enormous amount of error. That is the paradox of talking to strangers. We need to talk to them. But we’re terrible at it...”
I wasn’t entirely convinced in regards to some of Gladwell’s analysis, but I found the narrative to be accessible and the subject thought-provoking. I know I will likely be more conscious of my thought process the next time I talk with a strange
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LibraryThing member lamour
Using a collection of true stories, Gladwell illustrates how we think we know what the person we are talking to is really thinking or meaning by their words or demeanor. Using the examples of Chamberlain misreading Hitler, investigators interviewing Bernie Madoff and believing his explanations, the
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Italian justice system's mistreatment of Amanda Knox, the Jerry Sandusky pedophile case, the suicide of Sylvia Plath and the death of Sandra Bland to illustrate how this happens. Fascinating to read and the amount of research he has done to illustrate each situation is amazing. Up to his usual standards. Show Less
LibraryThing member Neale
Written in his typical storytelling style, Malcolm Gladwell examines a police incident to see why and how we struggle to understand and relate to strangers. It covers a lot of ground in many different areas. It is interesting and confronting in places. If you liked his previous books then this one
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is worth reading, Show Less
LibraryThing member streamsong
Malcolm Gladwell examines why we think people are lying or not. Many people are aware of the various physical tics and ‘tells’ that supposedly indicate a person is lying – but unfortunately, these aren’t always reliable giveaways. Even psychologists trained in observational science are not
To make it a bit more complicated, there is also a genetic response that leads us to want to believe what people tell us, and Gladwell examines why this would evolve.
He also looks at several high profile cases where justice went astray. One such case is where Amanda and her boyfriend were accused and convicted of murdering Amanda’s room mate in Italy although there was no physical evidence against the pair.
There are lots of interesting anecdotes and some food for thought, but many of my book club members felt that it was a bit unorganized and hard to follow the central theme of the book.
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as accurate as they may lead you to believe.To make it a bit more complicated, there is also a genetic response that leads us to want to believe what people tell us, and Gladwell examines why this would evolve.
He also looks at several high profile cases where justice went astray. One such case is where Amanda and her boyfriend were accused and convicted of murdering Amanda’s room mate in Italy although there was no physical evidence against the pair.
There are lots of interesting anecdotes and some food for thought, but many of my book club members felt that it was a bit unorganized and hard to follow the central theme of the book.
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LibraryThing member Carolee888
Talking to Strangers is title that leads me astray. I am not sure what this book needed to be titled but when I listened to it, it was not what I was expecting at all. I loved Blink and listened to it twice because I enjoyed it so much. With this book, I ended up listening to it twice because I was
One fascinating part is that without enough information, most people will default to truth. Neville Chamberlain believed that Hitler was telling him the truth when he was actually lying about his future plans. It was observed that the people were the most right about Hitler were the ones who spent the least amount of time with him and vice versa. To me, that suggests that there may be more going on that what is discussed in this book. I have had the experience of being able to "read" people better than many. There are clues that thrown off that I believe that a lot of people ignore. I do not know for certain, but I would love to be tested on it! It is my theory that Hitler distracted Neville Chamberlain from those clues. When distracted from them, he did not have enough information to "filter" out the decoys that Hitler set up. This book did get me to thinking a lot about why people believe liars.
Another interesting part is the "Holy Fool" an idea that comes from Russia. In modern day, the Holy Fool is the whistleblower. The person does not care about going along with what everyone thinks, but instead calls out the truth as in the fable "The Emperor' s New Clothes". You remember the little boy in the crowd who called out the truth, that the emperor had no clothes? I do remember that well. I loved that story.
There are several non-fiction scenarios that the author exams and the ones that stuck with me the most have implications for how police need to be trained and how they need not be "distracted". I think this book needs needs to be read by everyone in law enforcement.
That is just a smidgeon of what I got out of this book. I think it is well worth listening to or reading it.
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puzzled by some of it. Would love to have more clarification in some places.One fascinating part is that without enough information, most people will default to truth. Neville Chamberlain believed that Hitler was telling him the truth when he was actually lying about his future plans. It was observed that the people were the most right about Hitler were the ones who spent the least amount of time with him and vice versa. To me, that suggests that there may be more going on that what is discussed in this book. I have had the experience of being able to "read" people better than many. There are clues that thrown off that I believe that a lot of people ignore. I do not know for certain, but I would love to be tested on it! It is my theory that Hitler distracted Neville Chamberlain from those clues. When distracted from them, he did not have enough information to "filter" out the decoys that Hitler set up. This book did get me to thinking a lot about why people believe liars.
Another interesting part is the "Holy Fool" an idea that comes from Russia. In modern day, the Holy Fool is the whistleblower. The person does not care about going along with what everyone thinks, but instead calls out the truth as in the fable "The Emperor' s New Clothes". You remember the little boy in the crowd who called out the truth, that the emperor had no clothes? I do remember that well. I loved that story.
There are several non-fiction scenarios that the author exams and the ones that stuck with me the most have implications for how police need to be trained and how they need not be "distracted". I think this book needs needs to be read by everyone in law enforcement.
That is just a smidgeon of what I got out of this book. I think it is well worth listening to or reading it.
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LibraryThing member foof2you
It is always amazing to me how Malcolm Gladwell is able to take a subject and use other examples to make his point. In this case he uses the story of Sandra Bland to show how it is difficult it is to interpret others actions.
LibraryThing member gbelik
Classic Gladwell, readable and thought-provoking.
LibraryThing member Lisa_Francine
Much food for thought which is typical of Gladwell's books!
LibraryThing member KimMeyer
I thought this was interesting and cleverly constructed. I'm always happy when a social science book can introduce new-to-me concepts. I felt like sometimes he was narrowly focusing on one aspect of his examples and almost willfully excluding the way race and gender are factors, but I think that
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was an intentional choice that does not take away from the book. I binged the audiobook in a day at my usual 2x speed. Show Less
Awards
Audie Award (Finalist — Non-Fiction — 2020)
Globe and Mail Top 100 Book (2019)
Los Angeles Public Library Best of the Year (Non-Fiction — 2019)
RUSA CODES Listen List (Selection — 2020)
Language
Original publication date
2019-09-10
Physical description
400 p.; 7.91 x 5.35 inches
ISBN
0316457450 / 9780316457453