The Choice: Embrace the Possible

by Dr. Edith Eva Eger

Hardcover, 2017

Status

Available

Call number

B EGE

Collection

Publication

Scribner (2017), 304 pages

Description

Biography & Autobiography. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:A New York Times Bestseller "I'll be forever changed by Dr. Eger's story...The Choice is a reminder of what courage looks like in the worst of times and that we all have the ability to pay attention to what we've lost, or to pay attention to what we still have."â??Oprah "Dr. Eger's life reveals our capacity to transcend even the greatest of horrors and to use that suffering for the benefit of others. She has found true freedom and forgiveness and shows us how we can as well." â??Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate "Dr. Edith Eva Eger is my kind of hero. She survived unspeakable horrors and brutality; but rather than let her painful past destroy her, she chose to transform it into a powerful giftâ??one she uses to help others heal." â??Jeannette Walls, New York Times bestselling author of The Glass Castle Winner of the National Jewish Book Award and Christopher Award At the age of sixteen, Edith Eger was sent to Auschwitz. Hours after her parents were killed, Nazi officer Dr. Josef Mengele, forced Edie to dance for his amusement and her survival. Edie was pulled from a pile of corpses when the American troops liberated the camps in 1945. Edie spent decades struggling with flashbacks and survivor's guilt, determined to stay silent and hide from the past. Thirty-five years after the war ended, she returned to Auschwitz and was finally able to fully heal and forgive the one person she'd been unable to forgiveâ??herself. Edie weaves her remarkable personal journey with the moving stories of those she has helped heal. She explores how we can be imprisoned in our own minds and shows us how to find the key to freedom. The Choice is a life-changing book that will provide hope and comfort to generati… (more)

Barcode

5470

Awards

National Jewish Book Award (Winner — 2017)

Language

User reviews

LibraryThing member Judiex
A self-help book contained in a readable autobiography.
Edith Eger began life in Hungary in the 1930s and 40s. She studied ballet and gymnastics and was quite proficient in both. In fact, she was on the Olympic team in Hungary until the Nazis took over and persecution against the Jews became
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official policy.
In 1940, she, her mother, and one of her sisters, Magda, were sent to Auschwitz. Her father had already been taken. At Auschwitz, Dr. Josef Mengele asked if her mother was her mother or sister. She said, “Mother,” and regretted that response forever afterwards as her mother was sent to the left and she and her sister to the right. Her mother went immediately to be poisoned in the gas chamber and her body burned in the crematorium.
Edith’s life was at least twice spared by unusual circumstances. Mengele asked her to dance for him. She did and he gave her a loaf of bread which she shared with other prisoners. It saved her life. When liberation came in 1945, she was almost dead, but a soldier found her in a pile of corpses and again her life was saved.
As the years went by and Edie worked to live her life, she was haunted by survivor’s guilt: Why me? She eventually married and became a mother, eventually moving to the United States. Along the way, someone gave her a copy of Viktor Frankl’s book, MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING. She realized that her guilt was keeping her victimized and set out to get rid of that baggage. Her motto became “Embrace the Possible.”
THE CHOICE covers Eger’s childhood, her life during the Shoah, and life afterwards. Eventually, she became a psychologist, working with people who’s lives had been shattered, including veterans suffering from PTSD, and helping them move forward. She presents cases and explains the techniques she used to best help her clients. One moving one was helping a teenage girl suffering from anorexia.
Some of her philosophy:
“If you asked me for the most common diagnosis among people I treat, I wouldn’t say depression or posttraumatic stress disorder.... No, I would say hunger. We are hungry. We are hungry for approval, attention, affection. We are hungry for the freedom to embrace life and to really know and be ourselves.
“This is life. This victimization. It comes from the outside. It’s the neighborhood bully, the boss who rages, the spouse who hits, the lover who cheats, the discriminatory law, the accident that lands you in the hospital.
“In contrast, victimhood comes from the inside. No one can make you a victim but you. We become victims not because of what happens to us but when we choose to hold onto our victimization – a way of thinking and being that is rigid, blaming, pessimistic, stuck in the past, unforgiving, punitive, and without healthy limits and boundaries. We become our own jailers we choose the confines of victim’s mind.
When her mother told her “I’m glad you have brains because you have no looks,” those words stroke my fear that I was inadequate, worthless...My mother’s voice rang in my ears with a different significance. I’ve got brains. I’m smart. I’m going to figure things out. The words I heard inside my head made a tremendous difference in my ability to maintain hope. This is true for other ailment inmates as well. We are able to discover an inner strength we can draw on – a way to talk to ourselves and helped us feel free inside, they kept us grounded in our own morality, they gave us foundation insurance even with the external forces sought to control and obliterate us.
“Our painful experiences aren’t liability – their gift. They give us perspective and meaning, an opportunity to find our unique purpose and our strength.”
Dr. Eger was able to overcome adversity that is harsher than most people ever experience. In THE CHOICE, she provides guidance to help others build positive lives to benefit themselves, their families, and society.
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LibraryThing member runner56
To read any story about the holocaust is always painful. How can a country under the leadership of a dictator perpetuate such horrendous crimes against fellow human beings in the name of a misconceived ideology; the creation of a master Aryan race.

Edith Eger lived with her mother, father and two
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sisters Magda and Klara in Kosice Slovakia. One morning in May 1944 she and her family (minus Klara who successfully managed to hide from the jack booted thugs) together with a great number of fellow Slovak residents were arrested and bundled into animal transporters then taken to Auschwitz birkenau extermination camp. What followed was one of the greatest acts of mass genocide ever committed. On arrival at Auschwitz the new residents would be greeted by the quietly spoken Dr. Mengele...."I recognize the uniformed officer from the selection line. I know it's him, the way he smiles with his lips parted, the gap between his front teeth. Dr. Mengele, we learn. He is a refined killer and a lover of the arts".......The good doctor gives directions either to the left or right. Those who went left, children and those over 40 received an immediate death sentence under the guise of a communal shower. This was the last time that Edith ever saw her parents again. Edith and Magda survived, Edith being discovered discarded and naked barely alive hidden beneath a pile of bodies.

The Choice is a story of survival. It is the account of a woman badly traumatized by inhuman treatment yet able to use this terror and in a positive way help others address their own issues and grief...."Just remember, no one can take away from you, what you've put in your mind. We can't choose to vanish the dark, but we can choose to kindle the light.".......In life there is always a choice and by sharing openly our greatest fear, and with the help and guidance of professional psychologists living can be worthwhile and meaningful again. Many thanks to the good people of netgalley for a gratis copy in exchange for an honest review and that is what I have written.
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LibraryThing member Whisper1
Packed full of details regarding Dr. Eger's experiences in Auschwitz, and her ability to choose life. Standing in line at Auschwitz, she was pointed to go one way, her mother the other. Her mother was taken to the crematory and died. Prior to this experience, the Nazi's took her father. She would
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later learn that he too was killed. Fortunate to have her sister with her, they both somehow survived.

The first time she was given a reprieve was when Dr Josef Mengele told her to dance. This saved her life. When the camps were finally freed, she and her sister, like all others were stick figures. The second time she survived occurred when she was buried with other bodies in a pile. Fortunately, just as the American soldiers were leaving, one noticed movement, and saved her life.

Forever haunted by post traumatic stress, she was given a copy of Dr. Victor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning. This book changed her life. Later, she would receive a letter from, and met Dr. Frankl.

All I can reinforce is to say Read this book!

Five Stars
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LibraryThing member thewanderingjew
The Choice, Edith Eva Eger, author; Tovah Feldshuh, narrator
The author is quite an accomplished doctor who is considered an authority on PTSD, and because of her expertise, at times she has been called upon by the military to help soldiers work through their traumatic experiences. Because of her
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past, she has a greater understanding of their suffering.
Her book is told in four parts, ultimately ending with the author’s realization that she is free, that she has let go of her own painful memories and can move on. If you let go of the memories that hurt you, that you have buried, you will be free to make new ones that will allow you to have a happier future.
As Dr. Eger describes her ordeal during the Holocaust, her bravery and consistent effort to find something hopeful, even in the worst of times, is apparent. Although she was subjected to a nightmare existence, although she witnessed unimaginable horrors, although she experienced unbelievable evil, she never gave in to despair. She maintained the fortitude to look at the bright side. She had survived to live another day while others had not had such good fortune. She believed that because she was not alone, because she and her sister had managed to stay together, it helped each of them to stay alive.
After the war, Edith and her surviving sisters returned to their family home. Their parents and other relatives and friends did not return. Soon, however, they moved on with their lives, burying their painful memories of the Holocaust. They found love and resettled in other countries they believed would be more welcoming. They adjusted to their new lives, learned new languages, withstood the still prevalent prejudices, raised their families and developed their careers.
As a therapist she actively participated in the treatment of her patients. She cried with them, offered them compassion, screamed with them, gave them imaginary situations to act out their pain, and engaged in some activities with them to give them the courage to confront their fears. As her patients reached into the depths of their pain, she helped them to work through them. As they recovered, she also began to see her own anxiety more clearly. She realized that they were helping her to work through her own hidden problems and secrets that she had fiercely protected, afraid to confront her own memories because she thought it was better to protect others from her anger, pain and sorrow.
In spite of all the hardship she endured in her life, she always saw the bright side, always found the silver lining rather than the dark cloud. She did not “react, she responded” to situations as they presented themselves. She did not make excuses, she solved her problems and she taught her patients to do the same. She helped guide them through their debilitating trauma and helped them find hope and a way forward, to find freedom.
She did not have a rigid approach of one size fits all, but rather, she treated every patient uniquely. She encouraged them to get in touch with their anger, because she believed without rage there could be no forgiveness. She believed the patient had to forgive themselves so they could go forward. Soldiers who felt guilty for their fellow soldier’s deaths on the battlefield, women who had to survive the painful memory of rape and other abuses, young girls who were scarred with an unreal view of their own self image, all had to find out what was the underlying cause of their pain. What were they hiding from themselves, and others, that had to be discovered so they could find the key to a healthier life? Edith Eger overcame adversity by never giving up, by always finding hope in the bleakest of situations. She did not let herself get trapped, but always looked for a trap door. She tried to lead her patients to that same philosophy of searching for an escape route to freedom.
In addition to this being a story of survival, redemption and forgiveness, it is also a love story in an environment of hate. Edith, with her indomitable spirit, believed in certain principles. If you are passive, you let others decide for you. If you are aggressive you are deciding for others. However, if you are assertive, you make you own decisions and trust your own judgment to be enough. You do not have to be a victim, unless you choose to be a victim. “Victimhood is something we choose because of how others have treated us”. She believes that all of us suffer to some degree, and it is not fair to decide that one’s suffering is greater than another’s. We cannot diminish our own suffering because of guilt, because we think we don’t deserve to feel as we do since others have suffered worse. That thought process only continues our own suffering and serves our need to be a victim.
Dr. Eger believes that many of our problems come from misunderstandings and misinterpretations. She believes that although our pain might seem petty to others, it is really significant because there is always a greater underlying reason for that suffering. The true cause of it is merely hidden and waiting to be freed.
Using her story, and a composite of her patient’s stories, she hopes to guide the readers of this book to freedom, as well. As she reveals the memories of her childhood, her parent’s relationship, her mother’s coldness, and her traumatic wartime experience, the reader will find her to be truly inspirational.
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LibraryThing member jpsnow
Dr. Edith Eva Eger picked up where Frankl left off, literally. Her personal story, about surviving the Holocaust and then using the experience to deeply understand and help people, is moving, then shockingly sad, and then inspiring. In the last few chapters she adds just enough pragmatic insights
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and case studies to help the reader grasp and apply the lessons. This is one of those books that you won’t be able to put down until you’re done, and then you’ll sit for a while, or a day, to continue taking it in.
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LibraryThing member Stanslong
Lost a little momentum towards the end
LibraryThing member aladyinredpolish
Outstanding. A true pillar which helps to hold the house of which my life is made of. Exceptionally written, intense, and inspiring. What an incredible woman. What an incredible legacy. Will be in my mind the rest of my life. I hope to one day see her talk, I hope that those who have been fortunate
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enough to have her as their Doctor know what a true privilege it was and is to have her be in their lives. One could only hope any Doctor they see would have the same approach, love and care as Dr. Eger has. Her words within the book play in my mind, give me more compassion, have made me gain compassion.

I cried, smiled, cringed, got goose bumps, got surprised, saddened, angry, happy and inspired. It's truley amazing what a human being is capable of good and bad and the decisions you make. I highly recommend this book. Be aware, there are very graphic, vivid, possibly triggering, illustrative accounts of survival, and events within the book but is balanced with the outlook of a responsible Doctors knowledge. This book reminded me of the dance she speaks of on the book in it's overall structure.
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LibraryThing member tjsjohanna
What a hopeful book! Dr. Eger is brave enough to face all her trauma and grief and is generous enough to help others do the same and find peace in the tragedies of life.
LibraryThing member streamsong
Edith Eger was only 16 when she and her family were sent to Auschwitz. Although Edith’s slight stature made her appear younger than she was, she and her sister survived the initial “winnowing’ line and were sent into the camp to join what would eventually become work details. Her parents were
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sent to the other line – and probably gassed that same day.

Later that initial day she was made to dance for Mengele as she was a promising ballerina.

She survived the ordeal in the camp by the very thinnest margin. When the allies liberated the camp, Edith was found in a pile of bodies. Her back was broken and she could barely speak. Nevertheless, she was found and rescued and eventually regained her health.

It took her decades to become reconciled with her internment and she was even able to find forgiveness in her heart for her captors. She became a therapist and motivational speaker, urging people to look forward. She specialized in resiliency training and the treatment of PTSD.

These stories of WWII Jewish death camps are very hard to read. For me the stories of Jewish treatment by German citizens after the Jews were released are just a mind boggling.

Nevertheless, this a wonderful, inspirational book. Dr Egan lights the way with her story at a time I am struggling with all the current crises- pandemic, political and ecological. Hope can be found in the direst of situations.
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LibraryThing member eesti23
"How can I be useful to you?"

"How can I support you as you take responsibility for yourself?"

I had expected The Choice: Embrace the Possible to really move and inspire me. Instead I was left feeling lukewarm. This is a difficult subject and Edith Ever is clearly a brave, strong, and amazing woman.
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Her story is split into two parts: the war and her work. There wasn't much new when it came to the war portion. We've heard most of these stories before. The difference here is that these are Edith's stories and Edith's experience of them.

Her recollection of saying her mum was her mum and not her sister, in the selection line is one that I will never forget. It was a moment that was meant to honour her mother, but ultimately ended up sending her to the gas chamber. I'm not sure how one truly manages to make peace with such an innocent, yet tragic, action. Edith's work now, while interesting, is something I am quite familiar with personally and professionally. It reminded me fondly of those times and of all the self help books I used to buy (and sometimes read) while living in the UK.

Overall, an important story and an okay book. Just not as motivational as I was expecting.
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LibraryThing member selsha
There's quite a bit I don't agree or like about this author and while I anticipated a different angle, perhaps more motivational in nature- the tale nonetheless resonates with profound significance.

This gripping narrative delves into the harrowing experiences of a survivor, evoking raw emotions
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that left me "ugly crying" throughout the initial chapters.

As I turned the pages, I found myself overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of Edith's journey and the atrocities she endured. The people she remembered and how she remembered them.
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ISBN

1501130781 / 9781501130786
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