Status
Available
Description
Biography & Autobiography. Performing Arts. Nonfiction. HTML: This program is read by the author. A MOST ANTICIPATED BOOK BY TIME, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, GOODREADS, USA TODAY, AND MORE! The beloved star of Friends takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this candid, funny, and revelatory memoir that delivers a powerful message of hope and persistence. "Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead." So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more. In an extraordinary story that only he could tell�??and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it�??Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he's found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all. Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening�??as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the audiobook fans have been waiting for. A Macmillan Audio production from Flatiron Books.… (more)
Physical description
272 p.; 8.25 inches
User reviews
LibraryThing member Micareads
Matthew Perry is best known for playing the goofy lovable Chandler on Friends but what we didn't see was how close he was to death. Throughout his time on the hit show, Perry was becoming addicted to a variety of drugs. At one point, he was taking 55 oxycontin a day just to get by. He had drug
This book has its good moments and bad moments. Perry is extremely open and honest about his addiction and just how much he fights every day. He is aware that one more high may equal the end of his life. Matthew also laments the fact that despite wanting to be loved he had severe issues of inadequacy that made him decide to leave them before they could leave him. As he continues to fight his battle, he looks back on his time on Friends, his losses, and his hope for the future.
Show More
dealers on speed dial and did what he had to do to get his next fix. Even when forced into the life or death situation of having his colon ruptured, Perry continued to use extreme amounts of illicit drugs. When he finally decides it's time to finally get control of his habit he is placed on a drug to help him detox only to discover that due to the severity of his addiction, he may be on the medication for the rest of his life.This book has its good moments and bad moments. Perry is extremely open and honest about his addiction and just how much he fights every day. He is aware that one more high may equal the end of his life. Matthew also laments the fact that despite wanting to be loved he had severe issues of inadequacy that made him decide to leave them before they could leave him. As he continues to fight his battle, he looks back on his time on Friends, his losses, and his hope for the future.
Show Less
LibraryThing member gpangel
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry is a 2022 Flatiron publication.
As anyone who regularly reads memoirs knows, they can be a slippery slope- especially celebrity memoirs. Sometimes I’ll even skip over one for fear I might end up with a different impression than the one
For me, Matthew Perry is not an actor I have any emotional connection to, though that is not the case with my kids. I do remember enjoying the show ‘Friends’ when my kids were still at home, but once the show ended, I was done with it. I never felt inclined to rewatch the show in syndication and haven’t seen an episode in many, many years. As such, I completely lost track of the cast members over time- save, of course, Jennifer Aniston, who remained in the spotlight long after the show ended.
That said, this is still one of those memoirs I wish I’d taken a pass on. If I simply focus on the book, the writing and presentation, without getting into the particulars of Perry’s life- and thus avoiding any blowback- here are some of the issues I encountered-
The book was written by Perry alone- meaning he did not hire a ghost writer to help him organize and keep the narrative flowing smoothly. Maybe that was something he should have taken into consideration. The book is not very well organized, and the timeline jumps around which was confusing.
I read parts of the book in E-book format and also listened to large portions of it on audio. The book got off to a rocky start immediately, when I read Lisa Kudrow’s introduction. Could it BE anymore canned? The audio version didn’t have this intro- or at least the version I added didn’t- but it was no great loss.
The audio presentation, narrated by Perry, was another avenue Perry might have done well to reconsider. I’m surprised the publisher let that go on. Perry's speech patterns were 'off'. This is something that has come up before, and explanations about dental surgeries were tossed out- but....
Maybe the publishers should have skipped the audio version or suggested someone else read it.
Now- that’s just the about the book- it’s presentation, etc. As to the contents of the memoir, I remain conflicted. Perry has struggled most of his adult life, even before he was famous, with substance abuse issues. He has behaved like many addicts, but his fortune has kept him afloat as he dropped millions of dollars into rehab facilities over the years. Matthew is not as funny as he seems to think he is in this book- and at times he can be quite caustic. I didn’t know how to take him sometimes- but frankly, I don't think he would be all that pleasant to be around for too long.
Overall, Perry did not make a big impression on me. I wish I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know before reading this book. Despite all that, I still feel compassion for the mighty struggles and the ones he still faces, the lost opportunities for living a fulfilled life, and his obvious and palpable loneliness.
While he claims to believe in God, some of his remarks on this subject were not truly faith-based- but I do hope he continues to seek that guidance and I wish him the best on his spiritual journey. I also hope his physical health gets better, though this seems to be questionable, and I hope he finds some contentment in the future.
Sadly, Matthew didn’t quite convince me to put complete faith in his current and future sobriety. But I wish him well, and hope he matures emotionally and spiritually in the days to come, which will surely mean less self-absorption, arrogance, and entitlement. Maybe that would help him in his quest for a life-partner. I'd also suggest trying to be a pet-parent, someday.
On a more upbeat note- the pictures Perry included in at the back of the book shows his stepfather, Keith Morrison- of Dateline- when he was much younger- before the white hair!! I got a kick out looking at those photos, and sadly, that was about the only good thing I could find to say about this book.
1.5 stars
As anyone who regularly reads memoirs knows, they can be a slippery slope- especially celebrity memoirs. Sometimes I’ll even skip over one for fear I might end up with a different impression than the one
Show More
I’d formed about the person, and don’t want to know the difference. For me, Matthew Perry is not an actor I have any emotional connection to, though that is not the case with my kids. I do remember enjoying the show ‘Friends’ when my kids were still at home, but once the show ended, I was done with it. I never felt inclined to rewatch the show in syndication and haven’t seen an episode in many, many years. As such, I completely lost track of the cast members over time- save, of course, Jennifer Aniston, who remained in the spotlight long after the show ended.
That said, this is still one of those memoirs I wish I’d taken a pass on. If I simply focus on the book, the writing and presentation, without getting into the particulars of Perry’s life- and thus avoiding any blowback- here are some of the issues I encountered-
The book was written by Perry alone- meaning he did not hire a ghost writer to help him organize and keep the narrative flowing smoothly. Maybe that was something he should have taken into consideration. The book is not very well organized, and the timeline jumps around which was confusing.
I read parts of the book in E-book format and also listened to large portions of it on audio. The book got off to a rocky start immediately, when I read Lisa Kudrow’s introduction. Could it BE anymore canned? The audio version didn’t have this intro- or at least the version I added didn’t- but it was no great loss.
The audio presentation, narrated by Perry, was another avenue Perry might have done well to reconsider. I’m surprised the publisher let that go on. Perry's speech patterns were 'off'. This is something that has come up before, and explanations about dental surgeries were tossed out- but....
Maybe the publishers should have skipped the audio version or suggested someone else read it.
Now- that’s just the about the book- it’s presentation, etc. As to the contents of the memoir, I remain conflicted. Perry has struggled most of his adult life, even before he was famous, with substance abuse issues. He has behaved like many addicts, but his fortune has kept him afloat as he dropped millions of dollars into rehab facilities over the years. Matthew is not as funny as he seems to think he is in this book- and at times he can be quite caustic. I didn’t know how to take him sometimes- but frankly, I don't think he would be all that pleasant to be around for too long.
Overall, Perry did not make a big impression on me. I wish I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know before reading this book. Despite all that, I still feel compassion for the mighty struggles and the ones he still faces, the lost opportunities for living a fulfilled life, and his obvious and palpable loneliness.
While he claims to believe in God, some of his remarks on this subject were not truly faith-based- but I do hope he continues to seek that guidance and I wish him the best on his spiritual journey. I also hope his physical health gets better, though this seems to be questionable, and I hope he finds some contentment in the future.
Sadly, Matthew didn’t quite convince me to put complete faith in his current and future sobriety. But I wish him well, and hope he matures emotionally and spiritually in the days to come, which will surely mean less self-absorption, arrogance, and entitlement. Maybe that would help him in his quest for a life-partner. I'd also suggest trying to be a pet-parent, someday.
On a more upbeat note- the pictures Perry included in at the back of the book shows his stepfather, Keith Morrison- of Dateline- when he was much younger- before the white hair!! I got a kick out looking at those photos, and sadly, that was about the only good thing I could find to say about this book.
1.5 stars
Show Less
LibraryThing member Berly
Brutally honest with just enough humor to keep me going in this tragic story of addiction by famous actor Matthew Perry aka Chandler in the TV sitcom Friends.
LibraryThing member cherybear
It's terrible. This man has had everything--fame, fortune, money, talent, attractiveness. . . . . and a genetic predisposition to abuse alcohol and drugs. It's hard to believe someone who has so much has an emptiness inside he keeps trying to fill. His harrowing stories of abuse, multiple rehabs,
Show More
and resulting illnesses and surgeries are frightening. Sadly, I don't believe his struggles are over. I want to believe they are. Show Less
LibraryThing member hcnewton
My mind is out to kill me, and I know it. I am constantly filled with a lurking loneliness, a yearning, clinging to the notion that something outside of me will fix me. But I had had all that the outside had to offer!
WHAT'S FRIENDS, LOVERS, AND THE BIG TERRIBLE THING ABOUT?
This isn't full of—but
There's some juicy (largely nameless, but you can read between the lines) bits about his love life—as the title suggests. But again, there's not much of that overall—and those, too, serve to support the overall thesis—even more than the professional matters do.
Then there's the Big Terrible Thing—his addictions themselves, how he got started, how he maintained them, and his several attempts to get sober (of varying successes and lengths of success). He also goes into graphic (perhaps too graphic) detail about the physical toll they've taken on him—and the financial, emotional, and mental toll they've taken on those close to him.
HOW PERRY COMES ACROSS
When this book first came out (or just before it) there were more than a few headlines about some (I'm going to be charitable and call them) questionable jokes he made about Keanu Reeves and some people casting doubt about some of the particulars of some of his stories. Given how impaired he was during most of those disputed events (and just about every other event he recounts), I'm not surprised he doesn't remember them correctly, and I don't think it should be held against him. The Reeves jokes, on the other hand, might have seemed like a good idea at the time—but his editors really should've stopped them. I jotted down a note after the second one that "someone at Macmillan must have it out for him to let this make it to print."
But both of those things pale in comparison to everything that Perry admits to in this book. He doesn't come across as a good guy at all—and I don't think he's trying to. Sure, the fact that he's (seemingly) coming clean about everything and (seemingly) taking responsibility for the lies, destructive behaviors, and despicable actions might make some people want to think better of him—but I don't think he really wants that.
He comes across—and I realize this could be entirely calculated—as someone who is being honest about his shortcomings, seeking to explain the devastation his addictions have wrought on himself and many, many of those around him—how he's somehow managed to have some success in the midst of that. He gives credit to some of those who've helped him get to this point in recovery—or kept him alive long enough to get there. In the end, however, Perry's not a good guy and doesn't pretend to be one. He's a mess who will very likely kill himself if he relapses a time or two more.
SO, WHAT DID I THINK ABOUT FRIENDS, LOERS, AND THE BIG TERRIBLE THING?
I've been a big fan of Perry's since Friends (I can point to the joke that made me one)—I've seen almost everything he's done (sometimes not because of him, but I appreciated his involvement). But I put this book under the category of "will get around to eventually, maybe." Until I saw people reacting to how much of the focus of the book is on the Big Terrible Thing. And that piqued my interest.
That sounds ghoulish, I realize, but hearing a well-documented addict talking about their struggles is something that I appreciate. It helps me empathize with those I know fighting that fight, and I hope, helps me understand and appreciate their struggles.
Perry's clear that he's been given every opportunity, tool, and help to get sober and to maintain that sobriety. And he's squandered almost every one of them. And it has yet to work. The amounts he takes on a regular basis when he uses is...it's a shocking amount—and only someone as wealthy as he is could pull it off.
At the same time, there's a glimmer of hope. A faint glimmer, sure. But there is one—and if someone whose rock bottom is as low as Perry's was can maybe make it—there's hope for others, too. And that's the big thing I took away—there's hope. Hope for other addicts, hope for Perry.
I thought this was a riveting and disturbing read—made tolerable by Perry's off-kilter and somewhat humorous telling of the stories. It's not like most celebrity memoirs I've read (but I don't think it's that ground-breaking)—but definitely worth the time.
WHAT'S FRIENDS, LOVERS, AND THE BIG TERRIBLE THING ABOUT?
This isn't full of—but
Show More
does contain—some good, behind-the-scenes stuff about Friends, Fools Rush In, The Whole Nine Yards, Mr. Sunshine, The Odd Couple, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and other projects. But those don't make up the bulk of the material. And those are interesting, amusing, and support the overall thesis of the book—he's an addict who has been blessed with more good things than he knows how to handle.There's some juicy (largely nameless, but you can read between the lines) bits about his love life—as the title suggests. But again, there's not much of that overall—and those, too, serve to support the overall thesis—even more than the professional matters do.
Then there's the Big Terrible Thing—his addictions themselves, how he got started, how he maintained them, and his several attempts to get sober (of varying successes and lengths of success). He also goes into graphic (perhaps too graphic) detail about the physical toll they've taken on him—and the financial, emotional, and mental toll they've taken on those close to him.
HOW PERRY COMES ACROSS
When this book first came out (or just before it) there were more than a few headlines about some (I'm going to be charitable and call them) questionable jokes he made about Keanu Reeves and some people casting doubt about some of the particulars of some of his stories. Given how impaired he was during most of those disputed events (and just about every other event he recounts), I'm not surprised he doesn't remember them correctly, and I don't think it should be held against him. The Reeves jokes, on the other hand, might have seemed like a good idea at the time—but his editors really should've stopped them. I jotted down a note after the second one that "someone at Macmillan must have it out for him to let this make it to print."
But both of those things pale in comparison to everything that Perry admits to in this book. He doesn't come across as a good guy at all—and I don't think he's trying to. Sure, the fact that he's (seemingly) coming clean about everything and (seemingly) taking responsibility for the lies, destructive behaviors, and despicable actions might make some people want to think better of him—but I don't think he really wants that.
He comes across—and I realize this could be entirely calculated—as someone who is being honest about his shortcomings, seeking to explain the devastation his addictions have wrought on himself and many, many of those around him—how he's somehow managed to have some success in the midst of that. He gives credit to some of those who've helped him get to this point in recovery—or kept him alive long enough to get there. In the end, however, Perry's not a good guy and doesn't pretend to be one. He's a mess who will very likely kill himself if he relapses a time or two more.
SO, WHAT DID I THINK ABOUT FRIENDS, LOERS, AND THE BIG TERRIBLE THING?
I've been a big fan of Perry's since Friends (I can point to the joke that made me one)—I've seen almost everything he's done (sometimes not because of him, but I appreciated his involvement). But I put this book under the category of "will get around to eventually, maybe." Until I saw people reacting to how much of the focus of the book is on the Big Terrible Thing. And that piqued my interest.
That sounds ghoulish, I realize, but hearing a well-documented addict talking about their struggles is something that I appreciate. It helps me empathize with those I know fighting that fight, and I hope, helps me understand and appreciate their struggles.
Perry's clear that he's been given every opportunity, tool, and help to get sober and to maintain that sobriety. And he's squandered almost every one of them. And it has yet to work. The amounts he takes on a regular basis when he uses is...it's a shocking amount—and only someone as wealthy as he is could pull it off.
At the same time, there's a glimmer of hope. A faint glimmer, sure. But there is one—and if someone whose rock bottom is as low as Perry's was can maybe make it—there's hope for others, too. And that's the big thing I took away—there's hope. Hope for other addicts, hope for Perry.
I thought this was a riveting and disturbing read—made tolerable by Perry's off-kilter and somewhat humorous telling of the stories. It's not like most celebrity memoirs I've read (but I don't think it's that ground-breaking)—but definitely worth the time.
Show Less
LibraryThing member brianinbuffalo
As a member of a family ravaged by drug addiction (my older brother struggled with addiction for seven years before suffering a fatal overdose when I was a teenager), I applaud Perry for his enormous courage in sharing his anguish and offering many raw insights into this horrible disease. I have an
Show More
embarrassing confession: I've only watched a half-dozen episodes of "Friends" over the decades and had to ask myself "which one was Matthew Perry?" The fact that I'm not a fan/follower speaks to the power of his memoir. I understand where some reviewers are coming from when they suggest that the author seems to embrace the blame game with a bit too much gusto. Still, he ultimately and candidly acknowledges his personal weaknesses. I do agree with some critics that the book needed more editing and cohesion (it has quite a bit of redundancy). Also, some of Perry's attempts at humor simply didn't resonate with me. Blame me, not him. All these relatively minor critiques aside, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing" casts a revealing spotlight on a tragic disease. Kudos to Perry. Show Less
LibraryThing member almin
Confusing timeline and just unpleasant. Angry, complaining and talks incessantly about money (how much he has and how much he spends, $7 million on therapy), every bad thing he has done is blamed on his addiction. Insincere when talking about the many women in his life....uses the same adjectives
Show More
to describe each one. Bizarre digs at Keanu Reeves with no explanation. Show Less
LibraryThing member Citizenjoyce
Could Matthew Perry be any more narcissistically annoying? Children of alcoholic parents learn not to be taken in by addicts' BS, and Perry is full of it. He's seen god, yeah. He loves helping people, yeah. He'd gladly trade his fame and millions to be a non-addicted schmuck in a rent-controlled
Show More
apartment, yeah. He is continually surrounded by people wanting to help him yet he whines and whines and whines. He's a good man who wants only to be a husband and father, yet he's slept with half the women in Beverly Hills and kicks to the curb any woman who falls in love with him. Maybe he has finally reached sobriety. Give it a few years, then maybe he'll be able to write a book with a little more understanding of his humanity. Show Less
LibraryThing member mcelhra
The One Where I Was Disappointed
I love Friends. It might be my all-time favorite TV show. I was counting down the days until Matthew Perry’s book came out – he’s the first one of the six friends to write a book. Well, boo on me. I don’t know if I’ve ever been as disappointed in a book!
I
At one point he was taking up to 55 painkillers a day. If you’ve ever taken even a normal amount of them then you know they can make you a little constipated. So imagine what 55 a day will do to you! He ended up needing major bowel surgery and had to have a temporary colostomy. As an ostomate myself, I was really angry that he said his bag broke all the time and that doctors should be able to make a f**king bag that works. I have never had one break – they do work if you’re not a whiney baby who doesn’t learn how to take care of yourself properly. He said that the reason he finally quit drugs was that his therapist told him if he didn’t, he might have to have a permanent colostomy. It’s good that he quit but there are worse fates in life than having a colostomy. And that’s the end of my rant about that!
The timeline was confusing, jumping all around. There was some dirt and behind-the-scenes info, which I always appreciate. He kept saying that he wrote the book to help people but I got the impression that he’s very newly sober and his track record is not good. If I were an addict, I think his book would make me feel worse, not hopeful! I think die-hard fans of him or Friends will get something out of reading it but keep your expectations low.
I love Friends. It might be my all-time favorite TV show. I was counting down the days until Matthew Perry’s book came out – he’s the first one of the six friends to write a book. Well, boo on me. I don’t know if I’ve ever been as disappointed in a book!
I
Show More
knew he had a drug problem but I had no idea how bad it was. He’s basically been using drugs his entire adult life with only brief stints of sobriety. That’s not what turned me off though. It’s that he takes almost no personal responsibility for his addictions and blames everyone else. He repeatedly refers to having abandonment issues because he flew on an airplane once as an unaccompanied minor. Come on!At one point he was taking up to 55 painkillers a day. If you’ve ever taken even a normal amount of them then you know they can make you a little constipated. So imagine what 55 a day will do to you! He ended up needing major bowel surgery and had to have a temporary colostomy. As an ostomate myself, I was really angry that he said his bag broke all the time and that doctors should be able to make a f**king bag that works. I have never had one break – they do work if you’re not a whiney baby who doesn’t learn how to take care of yourself properly. He said that the reason he finally quit drugs was that his therapist told him if he didn’t, he might have to have a permanent colostomy. It’s good that he quit but there are worse fates in life than having a colostomy. And that’s the end of my rant about that!
The timeline was confusing, jumping all around. There was some dirt and behind-the-scenes info, which I always appreciate. He kept saying that he wrote the book to help people but I got the impression that he’s very newly sober and his track record is not good. If I were an addict, I think his book would make me feel worse, not hopeful! I think die-hard fans of him or Friends will get something out of reading it but keep your expectations low.
Show Less
LibraryThing member villemezbrown
I got this in hardcover for my wife last Christmas, but I never got around to reading it myself despite her recommendation. Fortunately, that meant it was still eligible to be a road-trip audiobook as I zip back and forth between Omaha and Madison while helping my daughter settle into her new digs.
Matthew Perry's memoir is pretty heavy as he uses his close brush with death in 2018 as the framing sequence for his life story. But even in his darkest hours, he cannot help but snark and bring on the cutting humor. So, he has some pretty typical celebrity problems -- drug addiction and a rotating slot of leading ladies in his personal life -- but he does offer up some engaging anecdotes about making Friends and hanging with other celebrities.
Perry is a witty guy, in his stories and in his writing, and I wish him the best of luck in his recovery and thank him for all the joy he has given me over the years.
Side note 1: I do admit that his slow and slightly slurred narration threw me off, so I upped playback speed to 125% so his voice sounded more like the jaunty one I remember so well.
Side note 2: The audiobook version I listened to had the controversial Keanu Reeves digs removed, but my wife's hardcover is an early enough edition that still has them.
Show More
I find celebrity memoirs read by their familiar voices to be great driving companions.Matthew Perry's memoir is pretty heavy as he uses his close brush with death in 2018 as the framing sequence for his life story. But even in his darkest hours, he cannot help but snark and bring on the cutting humor. So, he has some pretty typical celebrity problems -- drug addiction and a rotating slot of leading ladies in his personal life -- but he does offer up some engaging anecdotes about making Friends and hanging with other celebrities.
Perry is a witty guy, in his stories and in his writing, and I wish him the best of luck in his recovery and thank him for all the joy he has given me over the years.
Side note 1: I do admit that his slow and slightly slurred narration threw me off, so I upped playback speed to 125% so his voice sounded more like the jaunty one I remember so well.
Side note 2: The audiobook version I listened to had the controversial Keanu Reeves digs removed, but my wife's hardcover is an early enough edition that still has them.
Show Less
LibraryThing member mrsgrits
This book is sad, but also somehow full of hope at the same time. I feel compassion for Matthew Perry, who still sounds like he isn't over his parents divorce and everything that unfolded in his life because of that. Great stories from the FRIENDS set, as well as some stories from movies he filmed.
Show More
I wish he would have talked about filming with his dad in 'Fools Rush In'. Also, this starts slow and traumatic but definitely gets better as it moves on. Show Less
LibraryThing member JReynolds1959
How Raw! Matthew Perry (dear Chandler Bing) has had a really tough life. He is so forward about addiction and all that it has cost him. Kudos to him for writing this book and all of his honesty about his affliction.
LibraryThing member blbooks
First sentence from the prologue: Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead. If you like, you can consider what you're about to read to be a message from the beyond, my beyond.
Premise/plot: Matthew Perry's memoir was published
My thoughts: This one was thought provoking. It was heartbreaking and brutal, but also eye opening in my opinion. I think even if you don't struggle with alcohol, drugs, or smoking (addictions), you can find it relatable. He never quotes Augustine, but you can't help but read this one without thinking of the God-shaped hole that every single person has. He writes of seeking God--and I've shared plenty of quotes below. It reads like the book of Ecclesiastes. He tried EVERYTHING; he kept trying everything. More, more, more--never enough. There was no joy, no happiness, no contentment in anything he was throwing into the void, into the emptiness, into the uncomfortable dread of reality. It isn't always easy to talk about sadness, depression, emptiness and loneliness, but Matthew Perry did in this memoir. Perhaps his book can help others who are experiencing their own battles. He asks many, many questions but I'm not sure he found the answers.
Quotes:
My mind is out to kill me, and I know it. I am constantly filled with a lurking loneliness, a yearning, clinging to the notion that something outside of me will fix me. But I had had all that the outside had to offer!
Not being able to stop screaming is a very scary state to be in.
It is very odd to live in a world where if you died, it would shock people but surprise no one.
I'm not the biggest fan of confrontation. I ask a lot of questions. Just not out loud.
That said, I don't know how advanced civilization has to be to understand that giving phenobarbital to a baby who just entered his second month of breathing God's air is, at best, an interesting approach to pediatric medicine. But it wasn't that rare in the 1960s to slip the parents of a colicky child a major barbiturate.
Maybe it was because I was always trying to fill a spiritual hole with a material thing...I don't know.
"God, you can do whatever you want to me. Just please make me famous." Three weeks later, I got cast in Friends. And God has certainly kept his side of the bargain--but the Almighty, being the Almighty, had not forgotten the first part of that prayer as well.
You have to get famous to know that it's not the answer. And nobody who is not famous will ever truly believe that.
The most unnerving part was, I knew God was omniscient, which meant that he knew, already, what he had in store for me.
"God, please help me," I whispered. "Show me that you are here. God, please help me."
I had been in the presence of God. I was certain of it. And this time I had prayed for the right thing: help. Eventually the weeping subsided. But everything was different now.
He had saved me that day, and for all days, no matter what. He had turned me into a seeker, not only of sobriety, and truth, but also of him. He had opened a window, and closed it, as if to say, "Now go earn this."
And I seek the answer every day. I am a seeker. I seek God.
I'm this close to dying every day. I don't have another sobriety in me. If I went out, I would never be able to come back. And if I went out, I would go out hard. I would have to go out hard because my tolerance is so high.
I want that connection to something bigger than me because I'm convinced it's the only thing that will truly save my life. I don't want to die. I'm scared to die.
I've never let myself feel uncomfortable long enough to have a spiritual connection. So, I fix it with pills and alcohol before God can jump in and fix me.
I've seen God in my kitchen, of all places, so I know there's something bigger than me. I know it's an omnipresent love and acceptance that means that everything's going to be OK. I know something happens when you die. I know you move on to something wonderful.
I am me. And that should be enough, it always has been enough. I was the one who didn't get that. And now I do.
Someday you, too, might be called upon to do something important, so be ready for it. And when whatever happens, just think, What would Batman do? and do that.
Premise/plot: Matthew Perry's memoir was published
Show More
in the fall of 2022. After his recent death I put this one on hold at the library. It is a personal story--with ups and downs. He writes of highs (literally and figuratively) and lows--successes and failures. He writes of his near death experiences. He doesn't shy away from the lowest of lows, of telling stories that make him look horrible.My thoughts: This one was thought provoking. It was heartbreaking and brutal, but also eye opening in my opinion. I think even if you don't struggle with alcohol, drugs, or smoking (addictions), you can find it relatable. He never quotes Augustine, but you can't help but read this one without thinking of the God-shaped hole that every single person has. He writes of seeking God--and I've shared plenty of quotes below. It reads like the book of Ecclesiastes. He tried EVERYTHING; he kept trying everything. More, more, more--never enough. There was no joy, no happiness, no contentment in anything he was throwing into the void, into the emptiness, into the uncomfortable dread of reality. It isn't always easy to talk about sadness, depression, emptiness and loneliness, but Matthew Perry did in this memoir. Perhaps his book can help others who are experiencing their own battles. He asks many, many questions but I'm not sure he found the answers.
Quotes:
My mind is out to kill me, and I know it. I am constantly filled with a lurking loneliness, a yearning, clinging to the notion that something outside of me will fix me. But I had had all that the outside had to offer!
Not being able to stop screaming is a very scary state to be in.
It is very odd to live in a world where if you died, it would shock people but surprise no one.
I'm not the biggest fan of confrontation. I ask a lot of questions. Just not out loud.
That said, I don't know how advanced civilization has to be to understand that giving phenobarbital to a baby who just entered his second month of breathing God's air is, at best, an interesting approach to pediatric medicine. But it wasn't that rare in the 1960s to slip the parents of a colicky child a major barbiturate.
Maybe it was because I was always trying to fill a spiritual hole with a material thing...I don't know.
"God, you can do whatever you want to me. Just please make me famous." Three weeks later, I got cast in Friends. And God has certainly kept his side of the bargain--but the Almighty, being the Almighty, had not forgotten the first part of that prayer as well.
You have to get famous to know that it's not the answer. And nobody who is not famous will ever truly believe that.
The most unnerving part was, I knew God was omniscient, which meant that he knew, already, what he had in store for me.
"God, please help me," I whispered. "Show me that you are here. God, please help me."
I had been in the presence of God. I was certain of it. And this time I had prayed for the right thing: help. Eventually the weeping subsided. But everything was different now.
He had saved me that day, and for all days, no matter what. He had turned me into a seeker, not only of sobriety, and truth, but also of him. He had opened a window, and closed it, as if to say, "Now go earn this."
And I seek the answer every day. I am a seeker. I seek God.
I'm this close to dying every day. I don't have another sobriety in me. If I went out, I would never be able to come back. And if I went out, I would go out hard. I would have to go out hard because my tolerance is so high.
I want that connection to something bigger than me because I'm convinced it's the only thing that will truly save my life. I don't want to die. I'm scared to die.
I've never let myself feel uncomfortable long enough to have a spiritual connection. So, I fix it with pills and alcohol before God can jump in and fix me.
I've seen God in my kitchen, of all places, so I know there's something bigger than me. I know it's an omnipresent love and acceptance that means that everything's going to be OK. I know something happens when you die. I know you move on to something wonderful.
I am me. And that should be enough, it always has been enough. I was the one who didn't get that. And now I do.
Someday you, too, might be called upon to do something important, so be ready for it. And when whatever happens, just think, What would Batman do? and do that.
Show Less
LibraryThing member huntersun9
With all that Perry went through, it's even more impressive that he was able to perform at all, much less in the excellent way he did. Except for the visible weight fluctuations, you would never know how terribly he was struggling. His death is terribly sad, but his body took a lot of punishment
Show More
for almost 40 years (since his addictions started at age 14). It sounds like he finally found some measure of happiness and purpose. I don't usually read audio books, but it was nice to hear his voice. Show Less
LibraryThing member MrsThomSmith
What a great read for someone going through addiction. He was so lovable. So sad.
LibraryThing member indygo88
Everyone knows of Matthew Perry, esp. those of my generation, since Friends came out in the mid-1990s when all of the Friends cast were roughly my own age. Even now that the debut of the series is almost 30 (!) years old, I can watch any given episode and it appears timeless to me. I can still
Show More
relate to the clothing and the decor and the humor and it still seems like yesterday. Even so, when Matthew Perry published his memoir, I didn't feel the immediate need to read it. Only after his recent death, which hit me REALLY HARD, did I feel the urge to want to read his story. More than anything, having just finished it, I feel sad. I'm sad that he had such a hard battle with addiction, I'm sad that he felt such an unrelinquished need for attention (mostly from family), and I'm sad that such a talented and brilliant person is no longer with us. However, having said all that, I will admit that this was not the best memoir I've ever read. Not by a long shot. While I appreciated some insight into his battles, I felt the book was often repetitive, and the timeline, which hopped back & forth, was often confusing. Am I glad I read it? Yes. But still, I'm left with a huge sad hole in my heart. Show Less
LibraryThing member Carmenere
A most tragic story.
Matthew's goal when writing this book was to somehow sway people away from alcohol, pills, and drugs. He wanted his life to have meant something beyond "Friends". Perhaps his struggles will not have been for naught.
Matthew's goal when writing this book was to somehow sway people away from alcohol, pills, and drugs. He wanted his life to have meant something beyond "Friends". Perhaps his struggles will not have been for naught.
LibraryThing member tjsjohanna
The saddest thing about this book is that Matthew never seemed to be able to take the chance of being hurt in interpersonal relationships. Whether that came as a result of his early childhood or was just part of his makeup it ruined him. Instead of taking the risk, he drowned his sorrow and pain in
Show More
getting high. There's a little bit of a hint at the end that maybe he is willing to give it a try but he died before he could do it. I was left with this sense of just a big waste. Show Less
Awards
British Book Award (Shortlist — 2023)
Original publication date
2022
ISBN
1250866456 / 9781250866455