I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes With Death: The Breathtaking Number One Bestseller

by Maggie O'Farrell

Paperback, 2018

Status

Checked out
Due 21-11-2020

Call number

920

Publication

Tinder Press (2018), Edition: 7, 304 pages

Description

We are never closer to life than when we brush up against the possibility of death. I Am, I Am, I Am is Maggie O'Farrell's astonishing memoir of the near-death experiences that have punctuated and defined her life. The childhood illness that left her bedridden for a year, which she was not expected to survive. A teenage yearning to escape that nearly ended in disaster. An encounter with a disturbed man on a remote path. And, most terrifying of all, an ongoing, daily struggle to protect her daughter -- for whom this book was written -- from a condition that leaves her unimaginably vulnerable to life's myriad dangers. Seventeen discrete encounters with Maggie at different ages, in different locations, reveal a whole life in a series of tense, visceral snapshots. In taut prose that vibrates with electricity and restrained emotion, O'Farrell captures the perils running just beneath the surface, and illuminates the preciousness, beauty, and mysteries of life itself.… (more)

User reviews

LibraryThing member nicx27
This is a really unique and clever approach to writing a memoir. Rather than it being the story of Maggie O'Farrell's life, it is a series of vignettes, seventeen in fact, and each one pertains to one of the author's brushes with death. Some are quite clearly that - serious illness, risks taken
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when she knew she could be putting her life in danger. Others are those times when you think: "what if that had happened a moment before/after" - the consequences don't bear thinking about.

The one thing that really shines through here, as with all O'Farrell's books, is the quality and beauty of the writing. And in this book she uses it to tell us, the readers, of momentous times in her life. She's had some truly awful experiences, some health-related, some people-related and many a time when reading this book I was shaking my head in a kind of uncomprehending horror at what she went through.

I also marvelled at all she has achieved, despite various issues that arose out of her childhood illness.

I Am, I Am, I Am is a quite incredible read. So emotional, so intense, so moving and it's hard to credit the fact that all these things happened to one person. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'm not sure if that's true but certainly Maggie O'Farrell seems to me to be a very strong person, a survivor. This book is just superb.
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LibraryThing member PamelaBarrett
The Subtitle of this memoir says it all: Seventeen Brushes with Death and that is what each chapter contains. The one moment in Maggie O’Farrell’s life that it could have gone horribly wrong and yet it didn’t and she survived. Every chapter is based on a part of the body—which makes sense
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because her own body betrayed her at a very young age and she still carries the affects of that damage to this day; and yet it doesn’t slow her down. When it comes to living her life full out, pushing boundaries, and traveling the world she knows there is danger but it doesn’t stop her from getting close to the edge. Sometimes a little carelessly, which made me cringe inwardly acknowledging that I wouldn’t or couldn’t do some of these things without a second thought.

Her writing is fantastic, her story telling is captivating, and it’s such a page turner that you can read this in a short time. She has many other novels to read that I now need to look up. 4 stars
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LibraryThing member japaul22
Brilliant memoir that uses the author's seventeen brushes with death to illuminate her life. O'Farrell writes a series of vignettes from various points in her life when she has had close calls with dying. As a woman only six years older than me, a lot of her life experiences resonated with me. I've
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never read any book that describes experiencing a miscarriage more accurately.

I absolutely loved this and highly recommend it.
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LibraryThing member ASKelmore
Best for: Those who enjoy literary non-fiction and are not deterred by fairly grim subject matters.

In a nutshell: Author Maggie O’Farrell examines, with lovely prose, moments in her life that could have led to her imminent death.

Worth quoting:
“Crossing time zones in this way can bring upon you
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an unsettling, distorted clarity. Is it the altitude, the unaccustomed inactivity, the physical confinement, the lack of sleep, or a collision of all four?”
“To be so unheard, so disregarded, so disbelieved: I was unprepared for this. I also felt helpless, blocked in.”
“When you are a child, no one tells you that you’re going to die. You have to work it out for yourself.”

Why I chose it:
I was in a bookshop connected to a museum that focuses on health, and they were having a “Three for the price of two” sale. This one looked like an interesting third book.

Review:
I find books about health, illness, and death fascinating. Part of it is I’m sure, because of what I do for a living (even though I’ve moved, I’m still doing contract work related to mass fatality incidents), although I’d wager that perhaps that’s more of a correlation; the same thing in me that finds it interesting to think about how to handle a mass shooting is probably the same thing that makes me seek out books like this.

Although, to be fair to the author, I’m not sure I’ve ever read a book quite like this one. Ms. O’Farrell is an amazing writer; she’s able to write in a way that walks right up to flowery without ever getting there. She chooses words that at times might be slightly more obscure than necessary, but not so often that it feels affected: it’s just how she writes, and it’s lovely to behold.

It’s also a great juxtaposition to such potentially dark subject matter: nearly dying.

Don’t be confused: this isn’t a book about seeing the light, floating above one’s body during surgery, or anything so mystical. Instead it’s the story of a woman who, at age eight, has encephalitis and nearly dies. After that, she has many other near-death experiences, and only a couple are related to the lasting affects of that illness.

She starts with an essay about the time she managed to avoid being murdered. But not all essays are as dramatic or dire - one involves a flight that goes awry but ultimately is fine (there are likely thousands of people who have had similar experiences), another, a juvenile mistake that any of us could see ourselves making. In fact, save for a couple of instances, I think some of the power in this collection of essays is how mundane some of her brushes with death are. Any of us may have experienced one or two of them; but seventeen? Holy shit.

The last two essays are the longest and most dramatic. The sixteenth brush with death is the story of O’Farrell’s childhood illness; the seventeenth is of her daughters severe chronic illness. See the perspective of an ill child from the child herself, and then as a mother witnessing it in her own child is extraordinarily powerful.
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LibraryThing member Cariola
I've loved most of Maggie O'Farrell's novels, especially her latest, [Hamnet], which was my #1 read last year. I still think about it a lot. Here, she focuses on memoir in an unusual fashion by focusing on seventeen episodes in her life that could have led to her death. She begins with a solo walk
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in the woods as a teenager where she encounters a creepy man who might have done her harm. One of the longer episodes involves her battle with encephalitis, which she contracted at age eight. Her parents weren't sure that she would survive, and her recuperation was slow and painful. Difficulty maintaining her balance left her the target of bullying at school, where she had to crawl up the stairs on all fours to get to the lunchroom. Remnants of the disease still plague her to this day. O Farrell recounts an almost-accident that surely would have been fatal; a mugging; an almost-drowning in the Mediterranean, her son on her back; nearly bleeding out on the table after a C-section; and other brushes with death over the years. The last and longest section details her struggle to keep her daughter alive. The child was born with severe eczema that the doctors couldn't resolve, spending most of her early years screaming, bleeding, and writhing in pain. After allergies were detected, she was at constant risk for anaphylactic shock and had a number of close calls.

O'Farrell's writing skills serve her well here. What could have been just a list of rather overblown anecdotes succeeds because she is able to pull the reader into each situation, mainly through her ability to describe her changing thoughts and emotions in the moment, but also due to her sharp descriptions. She also made me aware that most of us, myself included, have had brushes with death but never really stop to ponder them, except perhaps in cases where medical intervention is involved.
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LibraryThing member akblanchard
In I Am, I Am, I Am novelist Maggie O'Farrell tells her life story in terms of her encounters with death. As a child she had life-threatening encephalitis, and as an adult she has experienced miscarriages, accidents, a near drowning, and brushes with criminals. Most poignantly, her young daughter
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suffers from a severe and very dangerous immune system impairment. O'Farrell writes beautifully about and precariousness of life and the resiliency that is necessary to go on. Highly recommended.

Please note that I received an advanced reader's copy of this book through my employer, with no expectation that I would review it or give it a positive review.
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LibraryThing member bookworm12
Such a wild idea for a memoir. The author chronicles 17 brushes with death throughout her life. There are medical emergencies, a botched C-section, even a moment in South America when a machete is being held to her neck. In someone else’s hands this gimmick could feel forced, but she is such a
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wonderful writer that the jarring jumps between events still work. It reminded me how quickly things can take a turn for the worse in anyone’s life.

“You will be bowled over by kindness more times than you will be felled by callousness.”
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LibraryThing member adrianburke
Began this yesterday in the garden. Can't stop. Heard about it on the book programme on R4.
LibraryThing member sianpr
A wonderful book, narrating several near death experiences. While the subject matter may sound gruelling, O’Farrell’s story telling is gripping and ultimately uplifting
LibraryThing member Whisper1
This is a fascinating book wherein the author looks back at her life and the near misses that occurred--times when someone she loved, or she could have died....
Died at the hands of two hikers stumbling out of the woods, bent on causing damage to her, and perhaps her baby in the car. Finding the
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lock to the doors seconds before the hikers arrived to open the doors, O'Farrell, trembled at what could happen as out of frustration, they pounded on the roof.

A childhood case of viral encephalitis rendered her unable to walk and move. She listened as the nurse in the hall mentioned that most likely she would die. When walking on a road less taken, a shady character tried to tie his binocular strap around her neck. Intuitively, she knew she had to remain calm. Glad she had reported this incident to the police, a few days later, a young woman on the same path was found dead, raped and buried in a shallow grave.

While the occurrences might sound depressing, O'Farrell leads the reader to recognize the many times an angel is watching over us, allowing us to escape what would have been a disaster.

Well written, and insightful, this was a good read.
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LibraryThing member arubabookwoman
This is Maggie O'Farrell's memoir in which she organizes the story of her life so far around encounters with near-death by herself or someone dear to her. These range from something a mother might expect and watch for, (a child dashing into the road narrowly escaping being hit by a car), to the
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foolhardy, (volunteering to be the subject for a blindfolded knife-thrower whose aim was a bit off), to the stupid, (swimming a distance you know is beyond your capacity with your toddler on your back). The brushes also include near accidents, such as a near plane crash, illnesses, including a bout with meningitis that left her wheel-chair bound and partly paralyzed for a year as a young girl. There's also potential violence at the hands of homicidal men, and her near-death from a hemorrhage in child-birth (which she had warned her doctors about because of her pre-existing condition, but which they failed to take into account). Perhaps the most moving are the experiences she has had with her young daughter, who was born with a serious auto-immune disease and is deathly allergic to any number of substances.

Her life is told around these and other episodes and is non-chronological. She writes vividly and well, and in many instances she "grows" after each incident, although there is no self-pity here. Just a reminder of how fragile life really is.

Recommended.

3 stars
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LibraryThing member rglossne
Novelist O'Farrell's memoir is told in a series of vignettes, some very short, some longer, where her life comes up against death, in some of the many ways it can take any of us. Severe illness, childbirth, a near miss with a bus or a violent crime, are all explored. The stories are not told
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sequentially, but through them her life story is revealed.

O'Farrell is such a skilled writer that even those events which are mundane are both gripping and revealing. Highly recommended.
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LibraryThing member RidgewayGirl
Maggie O'Farrell is my go-to author when I want something full of drama, but also want the writing to be excellent. She's written several novels, but this is an intensely personal memoir that does exactly the same thing. Seventeen chapters recount seventeen dangerous situations O'Farrell has found
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herself in. They aren't arranged chronologically, but in an order that allows one chapter to allude to a later one, or to reflect back on an earlier event. The writing is very fine, and the focus on her own life brings a new depth to her writing. It's also interesting to see how her own life has informed her fiction.
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LibraryThing member kimkimkim
I love the way this woman writes. I have enjoyed all of Maggie O’Farrell’s books, but this one made me wonder how one person could handle so many things and still come out on the top of the heap? She commands the top of the heap.
LibraryThing member Beamis12
Love her fiction so wanting to read her memoir was a no brainier. A different take for sure as she recounts the near death experiences she has encountered in her life. Reading this made me think of all the mishaps I have had, that could have turned fatal. Something I think we all share to various
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degrees.

Honest and open are the two words I thought of while reading this. The things she shares, private moments, secrets she had held close, but now share. Yet, it her experiences with motherhood that impressed me the most. The sadness of miscarriages, joy of holding a newborn, the terrible concern and the ever preparedness she has at all times with her daughter. The frustration and yes, so much love. Hoping others see beyond the surface to the wonder her daughter is, so poignantly told.

As always when next I read her fiction, after reading these details of her life, it will be with new eyes.
Hope she has a new book in the works, and I thank her for sharing this very personal collection of essays with us, her readers.
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LibraryThing member njgriffin
I really liked this book. Thought the structure was very effective more so for being out of chronological order which seemed to allow for a feeling of getting more insight into the life and personality of Maggie. I found it a very moving book over all.
LibraryThing member villemezbrown
Reviewed from an Advance Reader's Edition sent to one of the libraries where I work.

Quite amazing!

I'd heard good things about this book, so when I saw it sitting in the staff break room, I thought I'd try the first few pages. O'Farrell's prose immediately sucked me in and won me over. Each chapter
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was pretty much a complete story unto itself, so I let myself consume the book in small pieces over the following week. Two thirds of the way through, I urged my daughter to try the first chapter and let her steal it away for hours at a time so she she could catch up to me.
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LibraryThing member Berly
I Am, I Am, I Am was one of my last books in 2020. I loved it! Not all the brushes with death are hers (but most are). I could personally relate to several of the medical incidents, not so much the criminal ones (but they were scary and fascinating), and I was especially moved by the last chapter
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featuring her daughter who has eczema and allergies.

Each chapter is a different narrow escape, well written, suspenseful and told with insight and humor. You could call her unlucky, but to still be here after all this, I think she is quite the opposite--incredibly lucky!! Recommended. O'Farrell is also the author of Hamnet, another great read.
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LibraryThing member bobbieharv
A wonderful wonderful beautiful book.
LibraryThing member detailmuse
wow wow wow I loved this memoir. It’s structured as vignettes about O’Farrell’s 17 brushes with death from accidents, illnesses and dangerous strangers. They’re not exaggerated incidents; the dangers are dramatic and suspenseful and death seems imminent. Yet at the same time, her voice is
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gentle and reflective, steady in the present time and weaving in flashbacks and flash-forwards with a mastery that could serve as a writing class. I’m in awe that none of her experiences dim her relentless adventurousness.

The knowledge that I was lucky to be alive, that it so easily could have been otherwise, skewed my thinking. … What else was I going to do with my independence, my ambulatory state, except exploit it for all it was worth?
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LibraryThing member Lisa2013
This is a special book and an especially good book. The author writes beautifully and her stories are interesting, compelling, entertaining, educational, and important. I learned a lot, about the world and, just as importantly, about empathy.

I think that the chapter titles and illustrations at the
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start of every chapter are wonderful.

The books works well as a biography, a science book of sorts, one with cultural/natural world information too.

My favorite chapter was the second to last, and it explains the rest of the book, and my next favorite was the last chapter, which does the same, and deeply touched my heart too.

It definitely made me think of my many brushes with death.

The author is a sort of risk taker, though it turns out she is very careful to avoid certain risks, but she has experienced a breadth and depth of what the world has to offer and some, though only some, of her brushes with death are due to experiences she chose to have. She is an adventurer by her own admission. I admire her. She does mention how she could have gone the opposite path, in reaction to an early (more than) brush with death, and I presume meant living life more carefully, timidly. But I’m more like that, always have been, in reaction to my early dangers, and yet I could count up quite a few times when my life could easily have ended, when the risk of that happening was not a minor one. Having an unsupervised adolescence and growing up when and where I did, perhaps my adaptive style did work to my advantage? Yet at 5, 6, 2 times at least at 13, 2 times at 14, and I could keep on…I could have maybe written a book such as this, but I’d have to be as engaging a storyteller and as good a writer as the author of this book, and she’s really, really good. I’m now interested in reading her fiction and definitely whatever other non-fiction books she writes.
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LibraryThing member LynnB
Maggie O'Farrell is a very good writer...I enjoyed her style of writing and use of synonyms very much. The first chapter, in particular, really grabbed me.

This memoir is based on Ms. O'Farrell's 17 encounters with death....usually her own, and often as a result of her behaviour. It is an
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interesting concept -- one that led me to examine my own near-misses and foolish choices.

There are three things that I took from the book. One, is the healing power of touch, Second, the thoughtlessness of so many of our big institutions. Ms. O'Farrell talks about feeling "so unheard, so disregarded, so disbelieved..." Third, the great power of positivity.

The book is not chronological and I wondered why. In an interview, the author says she was trying to build tension -- wanting the reader to keep wondering about her childhood illness. I think knowing that up front would have helped me understand her better as I was reading. And there was plenty of tension in her various experiences!

I've never read any of Ms. O'Farrell's fiction, and I plan to.
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LibraryThing member vahankinson
This is the first book I have read by Maggie O'Farrell after I found out about this author after watching a talk she did about her new book Hamnet. I decided to read her memoir first and I have found that some of the stories of her brushes with death have stayed with me months later.
I was shocked
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by some of the stories and it has made me more aware about situations I may have been in or may put myself in. There were times when her gut told her that something was wrong in some situations, and how she was right to trust her instincts. This has made me more aware of my own feelings and to trust how I feel.
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LibraryThing member JesseTheK
Good writing, fascinating detail on 17 brushes with death, too traumatic for my current moment
LibraryThing member sriddell
Maggie O'Farrell's memoir is told through a series of short stories about her near brushes with death - of which there were enough to fill a book without even including events she was too young to remember.

Her stories are told with the same warmth and wry sense of humor she shares in her books.

A
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wonderful read, and I'm glad she escaped each of her near death experiences to continue to write such great books!
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Awards

Irish Book Award (Nominee — Non-Fiction — 2017)
Independent Booksellers' Book Prize (Shortlist — Adult — 2018)
Wellcome Trust Book Prize (Longlist — 2018)
Reading Women Award (Shortlist — Nonfiction — 2018)
Books Are My Bag Readers Award (Shortlist — Non-Fiction — 2018)
RUSA CODES Listen List (Selection — 2019)

Language

Original language

English

Original publication date

2017

Physical description

304 p.; 5.24 inches

ISBN

9781472240767

Barcode

4229
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