Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

This is a book that answers our timely and critical need to understand our boys. The authors, two of the country's leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in more than thirty five years of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting, sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Statistics point to an alarming number of young boys at high risk for suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and loneliness. They set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that "cool" equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of "mother blame," "boy biology," and "testosterone," the authors shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive, the emotional miseducation of boys. Through moving case studies and cutting-edge research, this book paints a portrait of boys systematically steered away from their emotional lives by adults and the peer "culture of cruelty", boys who receive little encouragement to develop qualities such as compassion, sensitivity, and warmth. The good news is that this doesn't have to happen. There is much we can do to prevent it. The authors make a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. They identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy, giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth. This book attempts to change the way we see our sons and will transform the way we help them to become happy and fulfilled young men.… (more)