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We have seen the enemy... and they are small. If anyone understands why children behave the way they do, its psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman. Equipping you with seven principles of Reality Discipline, this father of five shows you how toget kids to do what you want them to do,foil finicky eaters, turn off temper tantrums, and minimize sibling rivalries,use authority and decisiveness to show your kids youre not a pushover, know when to take the little buzzards by the beak,set suitable allowances, curfews, and privileges, andput yourself back in the drivers seat! Questions at the end of each chapter, a discussion guide, and Dr. Lemans real-life examples give you sure-fire techniques for developing a loving, no-nonsense approach for raising children. With over a million in print, you cant go wrong with this classic and perennial best-seller.… (more)
User reviews
He calls his system Reality Discipline, which is just the term he invented to describe a system of accountability and consequences, based on children psychology and faith. In essence, he asks parents to try and stay calm, and respond to misbehavior with the consequences that the situation mandates. For instance, if a child intentionally breaks a toy, don't yell and scream. Simply have them help clean up the mess and explain that the money for replacing that toy comes out of their allowance, since we have to pay for what we break. If a child is having a temper tantrum, take them to another room, and tell them that they have a choice to make a fuss but not to bother your time with it. Don't give them an audience. In all situations, use prayer and faith to guide these decisions. He also has his opinions on spanking, which exactly coincide with mine; spanking is an option, but it should be used as a last resort for important situations, such as a child putting herself or others in a dangerous situation.
The book is divided in two parts, the first explains his system and the reasoning supporting it, and the second addresses specific disciplinary scenarios that parents have addressed to him and how to apply Reality Discipline to those problems. Each part is liberally sprinkled with examples from his own family and from his clients. I really agree with his philosophy. He warns parents away from authoritarianism and permissiveness, and paints the picture of an authoritarian parents. This is something that I have endorsed since I studied child psychology. I firmly support natural consequences for misbehavior, and I am right in line with his points on spanking and time outs. The best part of this book was reading about specific applications to discipline problems, because I may have my general ideas about parenting, but taking those and using them in daily life is much more difficult. This book has already supplied me with great ideas, and will continue to be a useful resource for me in the future.