Status
Available
Call number
Genres
Publication
Grand Central Publishing (2014), Edition: 1st, 352 pages
Description
Biography & Autobiography. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:Rock star, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED speaker Amanda Palmer knows all about asking. Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter. Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for-as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyzes their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of The Art of Asking. Part manifesto, part revelation, this is the story of an artist struggling with the new rules of exchange in the twenty-first century, both on and off the Internet. The Art of Asking will inspire readers to rethink their own ideas about asking, giving, art, and love.… (more)
Media reviews
Review by: Mark Palm
Full reviews at: http://thebookendfamily.weebly.com/blog/the-art-of-asking-by-amanda-palmer
I first became aware of Amanda Palmer as the lead singer/songwriter of The Dresden Dolls, a duo most often called punk cabaret, but really just unclassifiable. Labels and categories
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drive me crazy, but whatever you called them I recognized that Ms. Palmer was an excellent songwriter with a distinct and unique voice. Writing a song and writing a book are two very different things, and not a whole lot of people have been good at both, but after reading The Art of Asking I can definitely say that Ms. Palmer has got the act down cold.
Like most of her songs, this book doesn’t fall easily into a category, but instead moves effortlessly through a several different genres; autobiography, self-help, and a treatise/meditation on art, artists, and not surprisingly, the Art of Asking, which in the author’s eyes lies at the heart of the most important human endeavors, particularly matters of art, and of the heart. What makes this book so successful is Ms. Palmer’s skill at moving between the different styles of the book, while always writing with talent and deep emotion. As the story unwinds from her early days as a street performer to the creation of the Dresden Dolls, to her current life, it skips back in forth in time and place, a technique that could be confusing in lesser hands, but one that Ms. Palmer pulls off effortlessly. Ms. Palmer does an exceptional job at mixing the particulars of her private life with her musings on the nature of art, and using examples of one to highlight the other. It certainly helps that she has led such an interesting and varied life, and is so able to write about it with such open-ness and sincerity. I could probably hook you in even more by telling you the details, but I really dislike being a spoiler, so I‘ll just let you find out for yourself what an interesting book this really is.
One thing I haven’t done yet, but am going to as soon as I am able, is check out the soundtrack that is available on- line to augment this book. Ms. Palmer is, after all, a musician first and foremost, and I expect that the music she has picked will be a wonderful compliment to this work. Either way it stands just fine as it is, alone. If Ms. Palmer has any doubts left about her ability to write a book, she should jettison them. I was both surprised and moved by The Art of Asking, and I look forward eagerly to see what she will do next.
I see you, Amanda. Show Less
User reviews
LibraryThing member Citizenjoyce
I am so glad to be finished with this audiobook read by the author. First Palmer sings a song about wanting to sing a song but not being able to sing (which she can't except for simple melodies. She can write, but has the chutzpah to be a singer). Then toward the end of the book she says she feels
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like a worthless fraud. Well, worthless - no. Amanda Palmer is loved by thousands: her family, her friends, her fans and Neil Gaiman. She is also hated by numerous people to the point of their sending her death threats. She brings joy and meaning to many and a sense of dismay in the rest of us at her ability to bamboozle. Look at her picture, eyes gazing beseechingly at heaven as if waiting for an anticipated chat with god. I know she expects this because in her many years busking as "the Bride" she describes herself dispensing flowers to her audience as if conferring a sacrament. She has interesting things to say in this book about asking for help, about an artist's relationship to commerce and about touring with her art. Knowing that some might reject her sincerity she says that no less than Henry David Thoreau was seen as a poseur. Well, Thoreau she is not, though poseur seems an adequate description. What she seems to be, and this is emphasized by her very affected reading style, is the ultimate extroverted narcissist. Her worth perhaps is in making the reader wonder at the power and incongruity of charisma. Show Less
LibraryThing member akblanchard
Amanda Palmer is a performance artist turned musician. She has achieved some indie market success with her band, Dresden Dolls, but she is best known for
Palmer is a polarizing figure. She has a very loyal fan base, but she also has a lot of detractors. I have to admit that am completely unfamiliar with her music. I am more familiar the outrage caused by her "shameless" (her word) behavior.
The Art of Asking is Palmer's apologia pro vita sua. In it Palmer explains that her habit of accepting gifts such as food, places to sleep, and money, is part of a larger philosophy that involves "radical trust" and community-building between her as an artist and her fans. Her fans' material support allows them to be part of her work. It also frees her up to to work on her projects and spend a lot of time connecting with her followers via social media. Some lucky fans even get to scribble on her naked body in exchange.
It's an interesting idea, but I am not entirely convinced.
I came away from this book feeling sorry for Neil Gaiman, who may be the "love of her life", but is portrayed as a sad puppy dog in this book.
- her marriage to beloved (and wealthy) author Neil Gaiman
- her Kickstarter campaign that raised $1.2 million to finance her new album, and
- her
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call for musicians to volunteer to play with her touring band, because, she said, even after she raised $1.2 million and married a very wealthy author, she couldn't afford to pay them. Palmer is a polarizing figure. She has a very loyal fan base, but she also has a lot of detractors. I have to admit that am completely unfamiliar with her music. I am more familiar the outrage caused by her "shameless" (her word) behavior.
The Art of Asking is Palmer's apologia pro vita sua. In it Palmer explains that her habit of accepting gifts such as food, places to sleep, and money, is part of a larger philosophy that involves "radical trust" and community-building between her as an artist and her fans. Her fans' material support allows them to be part of her work. It also frees her up to to work on her projects and spend a lot of time connecting with her followers via social media. Some lucky fans even get to scribble on her naked body in exchange.
It's an interesting idea, but I am not entirely convinced.
I came away from this book feeling sorry for Neil Gaiman, who may be the "love of her life", but is portrayed as a sad puppy dog in this book.
Show Less
LibraryThing member devilish2
Amanda's philosophy of how to live as an artist is so refreshing. Her approach is entirely natural and as she writes you wonder that more people haven't worked out that this is how we should all approach our lives - build connections, sustain the connections, build trust. And if you do that, then
This book is beautifully written and constructed. There are several storylines running through it that sustain the narrative, her music, her falling in love, her friends, her Bride. Underneath it all is her philosophy of how she lives her life. It provides immense food for thought.
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the connections will sustain you in ways that you never believed possible.This book is beautifully written and constructed. There are several storylines running through it that sustain the narrative, her music, her falling in love, her friends, her Bride. Underneath it all is her philosophy of how she lives her life. It provides immense food for thought.
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LibraryThing member KimMeyer
Someone recommended this to me about five years ago. When I started listening to the audiobook recently, I still had NO idea who Amanda Palmer is. And now I love her.
I really recommend the audio version, which she reads herself like she's just telling you a story.
I really recommend the audio version, which she reads herself like she's just telling you a story.
LibraryThing member LauraJWRyan
Amanda Palmer is one of those rare bright spirits that humanity is blessed to have existing amongst us—there are many artists who are of that unique cut—but there’s only one Amanda Palmer. This Christmas, I treated myself to the audio release of her book "The Art of Asking" only because I
I’m late coming to the Amanda Palmer/Dresden Dolls party, but better late than never. I’m always in search of new music, preferably the stuff with an edge to it—and I don’t care if it is played on the radio or not. I found her on Tumblr of all places—someone posted a Youtube video of her cover of "Lua" by Bright Eyes and then I found the "Ukulele Anthem", one video after another, I was hooked. But before that, I tripped across her name on Neil Gaiman’s blog when I was looking for new books to read. It was shortly after they were married, and he talked about how proud he was of her, which I thought was so wicked sweet, and its sweet how smitten he is with her. And of course, I heard some grumbling about the song “Oasis” and some other shit, probably the Kickstarter thing, by then, I bought "Theatre is Evil", and was playing the shit out of it, and totally thought it was cool that she did it independent of a record company—as a fan of the little folk singer Ani DiFranco, I’m a fan of anyone who will thumb their nose at “the establishment” and do it themselves.
The major thing I dig about Amanda—she’s the lady who sings songs about the truth—you know, like Phoebe in "Friends", little kids loved her because her songs didn’t gloss over stuff like death and life—or smelly cat. Amanda’s fans love her because she sings about the real stuff that connects with them, the things that hurt and the things that are awesome—life is messy and thankfully, she ain’t afraid to tell it like it is. Some people can’t handle the truth, whether it’s a poem about empathy toward an alleged terrorist, or a song about an abortion, or a blog about having her period, or of all things, armpit hair, to shave or not to shave. There’s always the contingent out there that cringes—my own mother, god bless her, was always on me about—“Why can’t you paint (or write) something nice?” Honestly, I can’t, because that wouldn’t be true. Sorry, Mom, my vision is different from yours. I’ve always had my own vision—my own way of doing things. Everyone does, but of course, not everyone’s vision fits everyone else’s so these differences of visions is divisive and if I find myself in a room or a town full of people who do not see things my way I’m set back to the usual “Okay, who brought the weird girl?” dynamic that is the fucking story of my life.
Amanda has this amazing, genuine vision that is as old as time, yet as innocent as a babe—she’s following her bliss. I want to hug her. It makes me happy to know there’s another inspiring young woman out there sticking her neck out and following her bliss. Lots of her fans tell her they think she’s brave to do what she does—she says no, not at all. Well, sure, she’s got her own dose of uncertainty going on just like the rest of us, and some of the noise she makes has as much to do with being afraid than being brave—this is why her fans love her so intensely—she’s one of us, she dives into the crowd naked and trusts us to take care of her. The Fraud Police and all the assholes who spend their breath or time ticking away on keyboards to tear her down with words—they’re just hypercritical bullies with nothing better to do.
"The Art of Asking" has to be one of the most honest assessments of human nature—why is it so hard for us to ASK for help—in any form. In this book, she’s shared insight in her inner life—what makes her tick—and her “how come?” Unfortunately, when any public figure (or anyone for that matter) especially artists, open up to allow people in, they open themselves up to some of the most unpleasantness humanity has to offer. At the same time that Amanda is genuine and willing to help—she is loaded with self-doubt and vulnerable. I was new to following her while she was writing the book and when I happen to see that she posted questions on Facebook, I pondered my own answers.
"WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU'D ASKED FOR?"
There are times, looking back, I wish I had asked for help more often than I did—life might’ve been easier, but less interesting, I suppose. I just never asked for enough of anything—I rarely asked questions—unless I was really confused because I mentally stepped out the window during the critical moment when I needed to listen. As soon as “Any questions?” was spoken aloud, if I had any at all, they ran away. (Fuckers.) It’s just weird how things work out—if I opened my mouth and asked for help, I might’ve had a much different life—but because I kept my mouth shut, spent time absorbing or being absorbed, head down doing my own thing, I probably wouldn’t have the creativity that I possess to write books and make art. Go figure.
I was always drawing and making stuff, writing stuff, and took pride in what I did, and I loved showing the things that I made to people. I was showing around a drawing of a horse I made and one kid yelled at me “You’re such a show off—you just think you’re hot shit because you can draw!” Why on earth does that still sting after all these years? It just does. It wasn’t a death threat, but for a little kid—it might as well have been. So I was pegged as a narcissistic asshole by a mouthy little jerk early—whatever. Fucking que sera sera.
"The Art of Asking" is Amanda’s experience with Asking—it’s not an academic treatise—it’s personal and a personality, like a diary—it is multi-layered and structured in fragments of time, events, stages, junctures, and phases (the audio is awesome because it has related music in it that makes it even more special, especially “Bigger on the Inside” which is so emotionally crushing, I cried my eyes out.) Inspired by her TED talk, she’s offered her story to give basic tools for contemporary artist survival, but it’s not a how to manual—it’s inspiration, it’s encouragement, it’s insight. The lone artist in the garret doesn’t have to wait for the big break anymore—unless they chose to remain the lone artist in the garret, that’s their choice. It’s true that not everyone is going to have outstanding success going it alone—and a great deal of it does have to do with networking with people, generating interest in what you do, which means sticking your neck out there and presenting what you have to offer to whoever wants to check it out—or not. (This is where shameless self-promotion comes in, but be careful how you do it, cuz people will jump on your sorry ass for filling their email, twitter, dashboards, forums or whatever social media network with your obnoxious advertising.) There’s a dance to learn, a delicate balance to attain before you can even begin to collect a core group of invested followers. It’s not easy. I know that as a self-published-indie author, I am thankful for the deposits that are made to my account from time to time—it’s pocket change—but it’s better than sitting on my manuscripts and receiving rejection letters. Not everyone is going to like what you do, and some are damn mean about it. Sometimes I’m just about crazed with worry about what others think as I put my offerings out there—sometimes I just say “fuck it.” I have to, otherwise, I’d be paralyzed and I’ll never accomplish a single damn thing.
Amanda worries too much about what others think too. Fuck it, Amanda. Do what you gotta do.
PS: That goes for all of us too...
Show More
wanted to hear it—to listen to it like I do her recorded music—to hear her telling it is part of the experience. It was like a conversation, really—I listened, I nodded, and replied—pondered, relishing in the idea that someone else understands what I see. I laughed big belly laughs and I flat out cried my eyes out more than once. I also reminisced my “when” I noticed things differently, connected the dots, and “when” I wanted to be an artist and that I wanted to write books—I always wanted more out of life than being stuck on survive. Sometimes that gets me into trouble because what I want rubs against other people’s expectations—love her or hate her, Amanda Palmer does this too. I love her—and I don’t have to agree with everything she does or says.I’m late coming to the Amanda Palmer/Dresden Dolls party, but better late than never. I’m always in search of new music, preferably the stuff with an edge to it—and I don’t care if it is played on the radio or not. I found her on Tumblr of all places—someone posted a Youtube video of her cover of "Lua" by Bright Eyes and then I found the "Ukulele Anthem", one video after another, I was hooked. But before that, I tripped across her name on Neil Gaiman’s blog when I was looking for new books to read. It was shortly after they were married, and he talked about how proud he was of her, which I thought was so wicked sweet, and its sweet how smitten he is with her. And of course, I heard some grumbling about the song “Oasis” and some other shit, probably the Kickstarter thing, by then, I bought "Theatre is Evil", and was playing the shit out of it, and totally thought it was cool that she did it independent of a record company—as a fan of the little folk singer Ani DiFranco, I’m a fan of anyone who will thumb their nose at “the establishment” and do it themselves.
The major thing I dig about Amanda—she’s the lady who sings songs about the truth—you know, like Phoebe in "Friends", little kids loved her because her songs didn’t gloss over stuff like death and life—or smelly cat. Amanda’s fans love her because she sings about the real stuff that connects with them, the things that hurt and the things that are awesome—life is messy and thankfully, she ain’t afraid to tell it like it is. Some people can’t handle the truth, whether it’s a poem about empathy toward an alleged terrorist, or a song about an abortion, or a blog about having her period, or of all things, armpit hair, to shave or not to shave. There’s always the contingent out there that cringes—my own mother, god bless her, was always on me about—“Why can’t you paint (or write) something nice?” Honestly, I can’t, because that wouldn’t be true. Sorry, Mom, my vision is different from yours. I’ve always had my own vision—my own way of doing things. Everyone does, but of course, not everyone’s vision fits everyone else’s so these differences of visions is divisive and if I find myself in a room or a town full of people who do not see things my way I’m set back to the usual “Okay, who brought the weird girl?” dynamic that is the fucking story of my life.
Amanda has this amazing, genuine vision that is as old as time, yet as innocent as a babe—she’s following her bliss. I want to hug her. It makes me happy to know there’s another inspiring young woman out there sticking her neck out and following her bliss. Lots of her fans tell her they think she’s brave to do what she does—she says no, not at all. Well, sure, she’s got her own dose of uncertainty going on just like the rest of us, and some of the noise she makes has as much to do with being afraid than being brave—this is why her fans love her so intensely—she’s one of us, she dives into the crowd naked and trusts us to take care of her. The Fraud Police and all the assholes who spend their breath or time ticking away on keyboards to tear her down with words—they’re just hypercritical bullies with nothing better to do.
"The Art of Asking" has to be one of the most honest assessments of human nature—why is it so hard for us to ASK for help—in any form. In this book, she’s shared insight in her inner life—what makes her tick—and her “how come?” Unfortunately, when any public figure (or anyone for that matter) especially artists, open up to allow people in, they open themselves up to some of the most unpleasantness humanity has to offer. At the same time that Amanda is genuine and willing to help—she is loaded with self-doubt and vulnerable. I was new to following her while she was writing the book and when I happen to see that she posted questions on Facebook, I pondered my own answers.
"WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU'D ASKED FOR?"
There are times, looking back, I wish I had asked for help more often than I did—life might’ve been easier, but less interesting, I suppose. I just never asked for enough of anything—I rarely asked questions—unless I was really confused because I mentally stepped out the window during the critical moment when I needed to listen. As soon as “Any questions?” was spoken aloud, if I had any at all, they ran away. (Fuckers.) It’s just weird how things work out—if I opened my mouth and asked for help, I might’ve had a much different life—but because I kept my mouth shut, spent time absorbing or being absorbed, head down doing my own thing, I probably wouldn’t have the creativity that I possess to write books and make art. Go figure.
I was always drawing and making stuff, writing stuff, and took pride in what I did, and I loved showing the things that I made to people. I was showing around a drawing of a horse I made and one kid yelled at me “You’re such a show off—you just think you’re hot shit because you can draw!” Why on earth does that still sting after all these years? It just does. It wasn’t a death threat, but for a little kid—it might as well have been. So I was pegged as a narcissistic asshole by a mouthy little jerk early—whatever. Fucking que sera sera.
"The Art of Asking" is Amanda’s experience with Asking—it’s not an academic treatise—it’s personal and a personality, like a diary—it is multi-layered and structured in fragments of time, events, stages, junctures, and phases (the audio is awesome because it has related music in it that makes it even more special, especially “Bigger on the Inside” which is so emotionally crushing, I cried my eyes out.) Inspired by her TED talk, she’s offered her story to give basic tools for contemporary artist survival, but it’s not a how to manual—it’s inspiration, it’s encouragement, it’s insight. The lone artist in the garret doesn’t have to wait for the big break anymore—unless they chose to remain the lone artist in the garret, that’s their choice. It’s true that not everyone is going to have outstanding success going it alone—and a great deal of it does have to do with networking with people, generating interest in what you do, which means sticking your neck out there and presenting what you have to offer to whoever wants to check it out—or not. (This is where shameless self-promotion comes in, but be careful how you do it, cuz people will jump on your sorry ass for filling their email, twitter, dashboards, forums or whatever social media network with your obnoxious advertising.) There’s a dance to learn, a delicate balance to attain before you can even begin to collect a core group of invested followers. It’s not easy. I know that as a self-published-indie author, I am thankful for the deposits that are made to my account from time to time—it’s pocket change—but it’s better than sitting on my manuscripts and receiving rejection letters. Not everyone is going to like what you do, and some are damn mean about it. Sometimes I’m just about crazed with worry about what others think as I put my offerings out there—sometimes I just say “fuck it.” I have to, otherwise, I’d be paralyzed and I’ll never accomplish a single damn thing.
Amanda worries too much about what others think too. Fuck it, Amanda. Do what you gotta do.
PS: That goes for all of us too...
Show Less
LibraryThing member regularguy5mb
Amanda Palmer. What do you say about Amanda Palmer?
I absolutely love the way that Amanda looks at life. In the Art of Asking she expands on her well-received TED Talk in which she discusses her time as a living statue and her Kickstarter campaign to fund her Theatre is Evil album (which is
Amanda gets surprisingly personal, sharing some stories she never even shared with her fan community (which she has cultivated over years of keeping herself available through e-mail and social media). To her, her fans are friends, and she trusts them completely. In fact, in all the years she has allowed her fans intimate access to her (she has a long history of couch-surfing and asking for favors through Twitter, always with exceptional results), there has only been a smattering of incidents where things have gone wrong (two drunken fans stole her ukulele, later returning it once she alerted her community, and two weird, slightly stalkerish fans got a little too hands-y during an intimate signing party).
If you are in a creative endeavor, or just have a project you want to take part in but realize you need help with, exactly what Amanda teaches here and ask.
Just take the fucking donuts.
I absolutely love the way that Amanda looks at life. In the Art of Asking she expands on her well-received TED Talk in which she discusses her time as a living statue and her Kickstarter campaign to fund her Theatre is Evil album (which is
Show More
fantastic). With tales of her interesting life as a creative, her time as a musician, her good friend and mentor Anthony, her slightly awkward courtship and eventual marriage to Neil Gaiman; she explains the benefit and, in some cases, terror of asking for help.Amanda gets surprisingly personal, sharing some stories she never even shared with her fan community (which she has cultivated over years of keeping herself available through e-mail and social media). To her, her fans are friends, and she trusts them completely. In fact, in all the years she has allowed her fans intimate access to her (she has a long history of couch-surfing and asking for favors through Twitter, always with exceptional results), there has only been a smattering of incidents where things have gone wrong (two drunken fans stole her ukulele, later returning it once she alerted her community, and two weird, slightly stalkerish fans got a little too hands-y during an intimate signing party).
If you are in a creative endeavor, or just have a project you want to take part in but realize you need help with, exactly what Amanda teaches here and ask.
Just take the fucking donuts.
Show Less
LibraryThing member Ben_Harnwell
I 'read' the audio book of this, read by Amanda Palmer herself. While I think there are still elements of the book that need to settle in my head and my whole I will make this book as a turning point in my life.
Maybe it is because of the spot and place I am current at or maybe it calls to the
Maybe it is simply a fantastic book an inspiration to all artists who ever wanted to succeed and be seen.
Amanda I see you you are FUCKING fabulous.
Not in the way of a sycophantic fan - I truly hardly know your music. I think you are that because you risked so much simply by loving so much and being brave and strong enough to admit that you deserved the dollar bill in you hat or the $1 kickstarter. That your art was worth something.
Must read for all artists and those who want to be or never quite were.
Maybe it is because of the spot and place I am current at or maybe it calls to the
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younger me, the one who's band recorded an album, the one who used to act, direct and perform in a range of performances from traditional to the weird and wacky.Maybe it is simply a fantastic book an inspiration to all artists who ever wanted to succeed and be seen.
Amanda I see you you are FUCKING fabulous.
Not in the way of a sycophantic fan - I truly hardly know your music. I think you are that because you risked so much simply by loving so much and being brave and strong enough to admit that you deserved the dollar bill in you hat or the $1 kickstarter. That your art was worth something.
Must read for all artists and those who want to be or never quite were.
Show Less
LibraryThing member melydia
I'd never heard of Amanda Palmer until she married Neil Gaiman, and probably never would have become more familiar with her beyond that were it not for the fact that my husband is a fan. We saw her in DC when she came through on her book tour, and after my husband's gushing review, I figured I
I'm glad I did.
First of all, Amanda and I could hardly be more different. I cannot imagine living her life - on the road all the time, couch-surfing and crowd-surfing with equal abandon, exposing herself physically and emotionally to countless strangers. I'm just an ordinary gal with an office job and a townhouse. But I recognize the Fraud Police and the desire to be seen and the fear of commitment and the importance of art and all the other very human issues that Amanda discusses with a refreshing frankness. I want to shove this book into the hands of a hundred people I know. Highly recommended (obviously).
A note on the audio: The lyrics are printed in the book, but the audio version plays the actual song. It's a different way of experiencing it - you get the original setting for the poetry, but you can't necessarily understand all the words.
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ought to give it a try.I'm glad I did.
First of all, Amanda and I could hardly be more different. I cannot imagine living her life - on the road all the time, couch-surfing and crowd-surfing with equal abandon, exposing herself physically and emotionally to countless strangers. I'm just an ordinary gal with an office job and a townhouse. But I recognize the Fraud Police and the desire to be seen and the fear of commitment and the importance of art and all the other very human issues that Amanda discusses with a refreshing frankness. I want to shove this book into the hands of a hundred people I know. Highly recommended (obviously).
A note on the audio: The lyrics are printed in the book, but the audio version plays the actual song. It's a different way of experiencing it - you get the original setting for the poetry, but you can't necessarily understand all the words.
Show Less
LibraryThing member willszal
True to her reputation, Amanda is very open with her audience. I love the closeness of this book. Even though I haven't met Amanda [although I do have some connections with her], I feel as though she is a friend. Much more so than with most authors I read.
I grew up around artists, and have dabbled
I would say that the book isn't really about the art of asking. It's more just a series of reflections on asking–times when it's worked well; times when it hasn't. I'm not sure that the book has contributed to my asking ability, but I still really appreciate Amanda's story.
Her basic take on asking is that it involves an element of risk. If you can't take no for an answer, you're not asking. Asking both requires equality [so that two parties can come together in a collaboration], and inequality [so that one party has something to offer to the other].
From the New Economics standpoint, this book is pretty rudimentary. Although Amanda touches on the idea of gift a number of times in her text, she more often discusses exchange. She would de well to spend some time with the likes of David Graeber and Charles Eisenstein. I'm grateful that she spends time discussing all of the challenges we have in this country surrounding communication and comfort when it comes to money.
I grew up around artists, and have dabbled
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in the arts myself. In some ways, my professional path is divergent enough to have some strong parallels with art. This made Amanda's story as an artist riveting for me. This book was a real page-turner.I would say that the book isn't really about the art of asking. It's more just a series of reflections on asking–times when it's worked well; times when it hasn't. I'm not sure that the book has contributed to my asking ability, but I still really appreciate Amanda's story.
Her basic take on asking is that it involves an element of risk. If you can't take no for an answer, you're not asking. Asking both requires equality [so that two parties can come together in a collaboration], and inequality [so that one party has something to offer to the other].
From the New Economics standpoint, this book is pretty rudimentary. Although Amanda touches on the idea of gift a number of times in her text, she more often discusses exchange. She would de well to spend some time with the likes of David Graeber and Charles Eisenstein. I'm grateful that she spends time discussing all of the challenges we have in this country surrounding communication and comfort when it comes to money.
Show Less
LibraryThing member Pepperwings
A beautiful look at an artist's life, learning how to share, to trust, and striving for art. Also a bit about indulgence and connection to people. It's very difficult to express certain things, art is both amazing, and worthless, depending on who experiences it, and when in their lives. Ultimately,
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Ms. Palmer shows us that art is about the connection with others, and that can be worth everything. Show Less
LibraryThing member Calavari
The Art of Asking I was not prepared for what I got in this book. I knew it was a memoir, but it really does focus on asking and all ways we ask people for things and all the things we don't ask for until it hurts too much. It's a beautiful book and made me realize that I really need to work on
I absolutely loved this book. I'll be honest, I hadn't actually heard of Amanda Palmer before seeing this book. I'm not as big into music as I am books and I've rarely gone to Kickstarter, so it's not much of a surprise either. I listened to her TED talk (and I do love TED!), which covers many of the same bases as her book. I'd consider it a really condensed version. Here it is:
[ted id=1682]
The art of asking is really rather genius, though it's not exactly foreign to my life. There's a connection between what Palmer refers to as the art of asking and my husband's work in the church. Churches don't make people pay for their services, they ask. But churches are dying off and Kickstarters are getting more money every day. They seem to have lost the art to it. I have recommended the book to him and I hope he reads/listens to it.
I listened to it, which was definitely the way to go. Palmer narrates the book and she even sings a song between chapters occasionally. For me, it did just as promised in the blurb. It made me rethink some things, specifically what it means to ask instead of demand and to share the process of creating art with those around us.
I hate Twitter but I understand her love of it. I've never been good at starting conversations with people in front of me. I've never been good at being seen or letting others know that I see them. With these in mind, the book has created a degree of fear that I will never get to where I want to be. But then it always comes back in a haunting sort of way. I can get there, but I have to grow first and I have to do the things that need to be done.
Plus, I want connection when I get there, not adoration or whatever. It made me pay a bit more attention to the Twitter feeds of the artists I do admire. It makes me want to connect with them on some small level. I'm working up to it. I followed a few more since reading this, mostly comic creators that I love. Reaching out for connection is a little terrifying. But I think about standing on that box, trying to give someone a flower. I want to try something like that one day.
I loved that the book began with a introduction by Brene Brown. Some of you may recall my love for her and her work. Their messages share that connection can only happen after the risk of vulnerability. It only happens when we've reached out to someone who can reject us, but doesn't. If they are forced, it's not connection.
There were plenty of adorable anecdotes, but the meat of the book rests on just what the title implies. There is an art to asking. The book also dives pretty deeply into the art that can be present in giving. Some give, and some do so artfully. There is a difference. My mother has been one of those who give artfully. She has a way of not making the recipient feel shame, which is also important to connection. Palmer sums it up in "take the donut" or "take the flower". I love food, so I prefer "take the donut". I will also have to work on taking to donut in the future. I tend to be the bashful sort that prefers people keep their donut but totally appreciates the offer.
Has anyone else read this book? Did it make you take another look at asking, giving, receiving, connection, vulnerability.....?
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asking more.I absolutely loved this book. I'll be honest, I hadn't actually heard of Amanda Palmer before seeing this book. I'm not as big into music as I am books and I've rarely gone to Kickstarter, so it's not much of a surprise either. I listened to her TED talk (and I do love TED!), which covers many of the same bases as her book. I'd consider it a really condensed version. Here it is:
[ted id=1682]
The art of asking is really rather genius, though it's not exactly foreign to my life. There's a connection between what Palmer refers to as the art of asking and my husband's work in the church. Churches don't make people pay for their services, they ask. But churches are dying off and Kickstarters are getting more money every day. They seem to have lost the art to it. I have recommended the book to him and I hope he reads/listens to it.
I listened to it, which was definitely the way to go. Palmer narrates the book and she even sings a song between chapters occasionally. For me, it did just as promised in the blurb. It made me rethink some things, specifically what it means to ask instead of demand and to share the process of creating art with those around us.
I hate Twitter but I understand her love of it. I've never been good at starting conversations with people in front of me. I've never been good at being seen or letting others know that I see them. With these in mind, the book has created a degree of fear that I will never get to where I want to be. But then it always comes back in a haunting sort of way. I can get there, but I have to grow first and I have to do the things that need to be done.
Plus, I want connection when I get there, not adoration or whatever. It made me pay a bit more attention to the Twitter feeds of the artists I do admire. It makes me want to connect with them on some small level. I'm working up to it. I followed a few more since reading this, mostly comic creators that I love. Reaching out for connection is a little terrifying. But I think about standing on that box, trying to give someone a flower. I want to try something like that one day.
I loved that the book began with a introduction by Brene Brown. Some of you may recall my love for her and her work. Their messages share that connection can only happen after the risk of vulnerability. It only happens when we've reached out to someone who can reject us, but doesn't. If they are forced, it's not connection.
There were plenty of adorable anecdotes, but the meat of the book rests on just what the title implies. There is an art to asking. The book also dives pretty deeply into the art that can be present in giving. Some give, and some do so artfully. There is a difference. My mother has been one of those who give artfully. She has a way of not making the recipient feel shame, which is also important to connection. Palmer sums it up in "take the donut" or "take the flower". I love food, so I prefer "take the donut". I will also have to work on taking to donut in the future. I tend to be the bashful sort that prefers people keep their donut but totally appreciates the offer.
Has anyone else read this book? Did it make you take another look at asking, giving, receiving, connection, vulnerability.....?
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LibraryThing member SESchend
"Amazing read & inspiring in surprising ways. Now I've got to go listen to Dresden Dolls asI want to experience more of this intriguing person's art."
LibraryThing member traumleben
For a "situational exhibitionist" Amanda Palmer has written a balanced book with important themes of community and trust. "Being Amanda Palmer" would be a more apt title since it's more a memoir of her creative experiences and the connections she's made along the way. Amanda's gift for connecting,
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interacting, and sharing herself with her online community is a major part of her DNA. Her cultivation of this community is really the base of her influence and it's something she's been able to fall into -- as a willing crowd surfer -- and draw on for help and inspiration. Her use of social media figures prominently, but she has a sense of faith and optimism in the world such that we shouldn't be afraid to ask for help in our broader communities as well. While the bystander effect is real, given the chance to help, many people will surprise you in a good way. Her honesty and openness about her hopes, fears, and anxieties makes the difficulty in the "Art of Asking" much more tangible, but she urges the reader to push on through. As a musician and as a performance artist, Amanda also provides a valuable point of view on art and how we support artists that's worth the read. Show Less
LibraryThing member StigE
I liked this book.
It was more of a biography and less of an extension of her TED speech than I had anticipated, but in the end this made me enjoy the book more. Amanda Palmer is a pretty amazing woman and the peek into her life was read with pretty big eyes. I am glad there are people like her in
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the world. It is a richer and better place for it. Show Less
LibraryThing member Jonez
3.5
I am a giver that has problems taking, and problems asking. Due to being heavy throughout my life I understand having people seeing me and not being seen. I agree with the authors distinction between the two.
I can also relate to the author on how her marriage works in terms of both space and
I was also once a busker, selling poems to people I would write for them right there on the street, and asking only what they felt the poem was worth under the stipulation that they could only keep the poem if they paid. Mostly I wrote them for free. I never busked in too bad of weather. I also gave up after being insulted one too many times. Chimes of get a job (I had one) amongst other things had me giving up altogether. Even the moments of pure joy I shared with strangers didn’t seem worth sharing my art in this manner. I was a HORRIBLE busker. Most likely because I never quiet learned the art of asking. As you can tell, many things in this book resonated.
Several things also made me uncomfortable and made me question that discomfort, and even changed my opinion. Still, I’m not on board with Amanda’s entire philosophy on crowd sourcing in the manner she does. The author and I clearly have a different set of ethics.
As far as the author, well I have followed her and her music since almost its inception. I’m a fan of the Dresden Dolls, Evelyn Evelyn and Amanda’s solo music. With that said... man she seems exhausting (lol). Wow! She is a bit too needy (the voyeurism and constant spotlight seeking screams look at me, not just see me) , a tad narcissistic, but overall I think her heart is in the right place and I like (for the most part) how she treats and sees her friends as family. That very much came across in the book. I feel
She does seek that connection with her fam base, though I’m not entirely sure who gets the most out of it. I’d venture to say her. I also think people give her too much of a hard time, but such is the times in which we live. Many casting stones because the internet ally is dark enough that no one can see your face to know who threw them. Not to mention we live in a time where everything seems to be made a political outcry.
I recommend listening to this on audiobook so you can get a feel for the authors personality and understand her better. Also because you get treated to her amazing music. I will say this could have been edited down a bit. It was a tad long winded. Still an interesting story overall.
I am a giver that has problems taking, and problems asking. Due to being heavy throughout my life I understand having people seeing me and not being seen. I agree with the authors distinction between the two.
I can also relate to the author on how her marriage works in terms of both space and
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finance. I, too, have separate accounts from my husband, cherish having my own space and time apart, and have trouble asking him for help. I was also once a busker, selling poems to people I would write for them right there on the street, and asking only what they felt the poem was worth under the stipulation that they could only keep the poem if they paid. Mostly I wrote them for free. I never busked in too bad of weather. I also gave up after being insulted one too many times. Chimes of get a job (I had one) amongst other things had me giving up altogether. Even the moments of pure joy I shared with strangers didn’t seem worth sharing my art in this manner. I was a HORRIBLE busker. Most likely because I never quiet learned the art of asking. As you can tell, many things in this book resonated.
Several things also made me uncomfortable and made me question that discomfort, and even changed my opinion. Still, I’m not on board with Amanda’s entire philosophy on crowd sourcing in the manner she does. The author and I clearly have a different set of ethics.
As far as the author, well I have followed her and her music since almost its inception. I’m a fan of the Dresden Dolls, Evelyn Evelyn and Amanda’s solo music. With that said... man she seems exhausting (lol). Wow! She is a bit too needy (the voyeurism and constant spotlight seeking screams look at me, not just see me) , a tad narcissistic, but overall I think her heart is in the right place and I like (for the most part) how she treats and sees her friends as family. That very much came across in the book. I feel
She does seek that connection with her fam base, though I’m not entirely sure who gets the most out of it. I’d venture to say her. I also think people give her too much of a hard time, but such is the times in which we live. Many casting stones because the internet ally is dark enough that no one can see your face to know who threw them. Not to mention we live in a time where everything seems to be made a political outcry.
I recommend listening to this on audiobook so you can get a feel for the authors personality and understand her better. Also because you get treated to her amazing music. I will say this could have been edited down a bit. It was a tad long winded. Still an interesting story overall.
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LibraryThing member obtusata
Raw, beautiful, and fascinating
LibraryThing member Figgles
This is Amanda Palmer's famous book about, not as you may think demanding one's rights, but about being humble enough to ask for what you need. An anecdotal treatise calling for radical compassion as the underpinning of society, and a story about love and trust and being an imperfect human being -
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and making art. If you read this with an open heart it may transform you. Show Less
LibraryThing member stephanie_M
Brilliant, touching, endearing, intelligent, sometimes loud, happy, song-filled, incredible, and heartfelt. Good lord, I thought I had a crush on Neil Gaiman...! I think I may have to spread this crush around to them both.
Palmer may not be the best singer, she may have way different ideas than
Please, if you can, find this novel on the audiobook form at your local library...! It's read by Amanda Palmer herself, with a forward and after by a couple friends, who love her dearly, also. It will change you, I think. It did, me.
This novel/audiobook cannot be more recommended, or more highly. I'd like to give it ten stars. A few books have made me tear p at the end, but this......this was different. It was more like I was the Grinch, and my heart grew a few more sizes that day......and Amanda Palmer did this. Please, read it? Better yet, experience it like I did. Give it a try, you might like it. I did.
Palmer may not be the best singer, she may have way different ideas than
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others do, and she may make bad choices in her life; but I still want to be her very best friend, and share every minute of her life. I wish I had known about her blog a long time ago.......I wish I had known about her tweets from the beginning.......I wish SO BADLY to have at least once time experienced the 8 foot bride. I'd also had no knowledge of her before her marrying Gaiman, my very fav. author, so I didn't know what to expect when I saw the video of her TED talk. I was at once entranced, and a little in love. Who on earth can love everyone so very much, and not burn out...? Palmer's unlimited capacity for love, and life, is endless and envying. Please, if you can, find this novel on the audiobook form at your local library...! It's read by Amanda Palmer herself, with a forward and after by a couple friends, who love her dearly, also. It will change you, I think. It did, me.
This novel/audiobook cannot be more recommended, or more highly. I'd like to give it ten stars. A few books have made me tear p at the end, but this......this was different. It was more like I was the Grinch, and my heart grew a few more sizes that day......and Amanda Palmer did this. Please, read it? Better yet, experience it like I did. Give it a try, you might like it. I did.
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LibraryThing member MandaTheStrange
You know when people say that a book is so good that they just cannot put it down. THIS book was so unbelievably good that I could not put it down. Amanda has cleverly made a book that is autobiographical as well as something along the self development lines. Most of the ideas that Amanda has
I've worked in the book industry for a long time and it's been a while since I've been so moved by a book. I felt as if Amanda was inside of me, she knew all my deepest fears and after reading this I know that everything is strangely going to be okay.
I haven't listened to a lot of Amanda's music and to be honest it is something that isn't my particular cup of tea. I just found her to be a very interesting person, a woman who was married to my hero and I wanted to hear more about her. I think after reading this though I owe it to her to go back and listen to her artform.
I couldn't put it better than Caitlin Moran - "Amanda Palmer joyfully shows a generation how to change their lives."
Amazing.
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addressed in the book are thoughts that had been plaguing my mind for years, after reading this I not only feel better mentally but I think this book has quite possibly changed my perspective on things, this book has the potential to change lives and change them for the better. I've worked in the book industry for a long time and it's been a while since I've been so moved by a book. I felt as if Amanda was inside of me, she knew all my deepest fears and after reading this I know that everything is strangely going to be okay.
I haven't listened to a lot of Amanda's music and to be honest it is something that isn't my particular cup of tea. I just found her to be a very interesting person, a woman who was married to my hero and I wanted to hear more about her. I think after reading this though I owe it to her to go back and listen to her artform.
I couldn't put it better than Caitlin Moran - "Amanda Palmer joyfully shows a generation how to change their lives."
Amazing.
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LibraryThing member reader1009
memoir/the human experience - on audio.
I think I found this book listed on one of those "best of audiobooks" lists and as the author was an accomplished TEDtalker (whose video I hadn't yet seen) and also a human statue(!) I thought I'd try it, so I put my name on the waitlist at my library and
I was pleasantly surprised by how charming Amanda is as a narrator. Her stories are funny and fascinating and beautiful and sometimes sad, and her positivity and maybe even her vulnerability help me cope with other parts of the world being awful. Bonus: inside scoop on Neil Gaiman as a human being who grew up British and didn't know how to act around sick people--their love story and resulting marriage together also make lovely and interesting stories.
I don't know if this book is quite as charming in print (the audio version has all the extras of Amanda's voice, songs from her band, and even her ukulele accompaniment), possibly it might drag a bit, but I would recommend this to anyone looking for something both real and positive.
I think I found this book listed on one of those "best of audiobooks" lists and as the author was an accomplished TEDtalker (whose video I hadn't yet seen) and also a human statue(!) I thought I'd try it, so I put my name on the waitlist at my library and
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finally, weeks later, my eaudiobook copy was ready to download and borrow.I was pleasantly surprised by how charming Amanda is as a narrator. Her stories are funny and fascinating and beautiful and sometimes sad, and her positivity and maybe even her vulnerability help me cope with other parts of the world being awful. Bonus: inside scoop on Neil Gaiman as a human being who grew up British and didn't know how to act around sick people--their love story and resulting marriage together also make lovely and interesting stories.
I don't know if this book is quite as charming in print (the audio version has all the extras of Amanda's voice, songs from her band, and even her ukulele accompaniment), possibly it might drag a bit, but I would recommend this to anyone looking for something both real and positive.
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LibraryThing member decaturmamaof2
I listened to the Audiobook version of this book. Mostly I *loved* it. While it had some slow(er) or reiterative moments, overall, this was a great look into Amanda's thoughts, feelings, experiences as a musician, performer and person. My favorite parts were when she shared personal experiences and
This book really enhanced an otherwise really stressful commute for the past week. I recommend this book!
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anecdotes. She is a natural storyteller, and her personal reading of the book really added to the message and impact. This book really enhanced an otherwise really stressful commute for the past week. I recommend this book!
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LibraryThing member TRWhittier
Having never won anything in my life, I was beyond excited to learn that I was the winner of The Art of Asking Goodreads Giveaway! Thank you to the person (or computer algorithm) who/that picked my name out of the hat :)
I have long enjoyed the music of Amanda Palmer. I admire her awesome piano
If you are an indie artist, an Amanda fan, or simply someone who thinks that asking for help is tantamount to failure, this is a book that you should seriously consider spending some quality time with :)
I have long enjoyed the music of Amanda Palmer. I admire her awesome piano
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playing, her rich, soulful voice, and her highly emotive song lyrics. Her TED talk (which, if you haven't yet watched on YouTube, you definitely should) is amazing and inspiring, and the book, The Art of Asking: or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help, is a longer version of the talk. Amanda's narrative is deeply personal and honest; her stories made me laugh and cry, sometimes within the span of a few pages.If you are an indie artist, an Amanda fan, or simply someone who thinks that asking for help is tantamount to failure, this is a book that you should seriously consider spending some quality time with :)
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LibraryThing member AngelaLam
A great book about creativity, community, sharing, and caring beyond the art of asking.
Awards
Audie Award (Finalist — 2016)
Language
Original language
English
Original publication date
2014
Physical description
352 p.; 8.5 inches
ISBN
9781455581085
Local notes
Signed