Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer

by Heather Lende

Hardcover, 2015

Status

Available

Publication

Algonquin Books (2015), 176 pages

Description

Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:As the obituary writer in a spectacularly beautiful but often dangerous spit of land in Alaska, Heather Lende knows something about last words and lives well lived. Now she�??s distilled what she�??s learned about how to live a more exhilarating and meaningful life into three words: find the good. It�??s that simple�??and that hard. Quirky and profound, individual and universal, Find the Good offers up short chapters that help us unlearn the habit�??and it is a habit�??of seeing only the negatives. Lende reminds us that we can choose to see any event�??starting a new job or being laid off from an old one, getting married or getting divorced�??as an opportunity to find the good. As she says, �??We are all writing our own obituary every day by how we live. The best news is that there�??s still time for additions and revisions before it goes to press.�?� Ever since Algonquin published her first book, the New York Times bestseller If You Lived Here, I�??d Know Your Name, Heather Lende has been praised for her storytelling talent and her plainspoken wisdom. The Los Angeles Times called her �??part Annie Dillard, part Anne Lamott,�?� and that comparison has never been more apt as she gives us a fresh, positive perspective from which to view our relationships, our obligations, our priorities, our community, and our world. An antidote to the cynicism and self-centeredness that we are bombarded with every day in the news, in our politics, and even at times in ourselves, Find the Good helps us rediscover what�??s right with the world. �??Heather Lende�??s small town is populated with big hearts�??she finds them  on the beach, walking her granddaughters, in the stories of ordinary peoples�?? lives, and knits them into unforgettable tales. Find the Good is a treasure.�?� �??Jo-Ann Mapson, author of Owen�??s Daughter �??Find the Good is excellent company in unsteady times . . . Heather Lende is the kind of person you want to sit across the kitchen table from on a rainy afternoon with a bottomless cup of tea. When things go wrong, when things go right, her quiet, commonsense wisdom, self-examining frankness, and good-natured humor offer a chance to reset, renew, rebalance.�?�  �??Pam Houston, author of Contents May Have Shifted �??With gentle humor and empathy [Lende] introduces a number of people who provide examples of how to live well . . . [Find the Good] is simple yet profound.�?�  �??Booklist �??In this cynical world, Find the Good is a tonic, a literary wellspring, which will continue to run, and nurture, even in times of drought. What a brave and beautiful thing Heather Lende has made with this book.�?� �??John Straley, Shamus Award winner and former writer laureate of Alaska �??Heather Lende is a terrific writer and terrific company: intimate, authentic, and… (more)

Rating

½ (51 ratings; 3.7)

User reviews

LibraryThing member thewanderingjew
How does one describe a book about the writing of obituaries without becoming maudlin? It is easy when describing this book, written by an obituary writer. It is simply not depressing, rather it is absolutely inspiring. The author’s approach to life moved me to rethink about my own approach.
This
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brief book is about a subject few people talk about, because obits, by their very purpose and nature, instigate thoughts of death. Now who really wants to think about their own expiration date? Yet, this author has written a somewhat humorous and heartwarming message for the reader, as she relates her own effort to always try to find something good to record in her obituaries; she always tries to find something that is personal and heartwarming to say. In this way, she can send a message to the mourners that will lift them up and enable them to celebrate the life of the deceased, to alleviate their sorrow rather than break them down emotionally. When describing a man who failed repeatedly to repair his fishing nets, she made it sound positive and amusing since it was the holes in the net that enabled some fish to escape to live another day. The irony is that she brought life into the very place of death and eased their pain.
As I read her descriptions of the people she has written about and learned about the basic facts of her own life, I found that her simple message and lifestyle encouraged me to stop thinking about what I might not have, but instead to choose to look for and appreciate the good things that I do have in my life and all the good things I have had as well. Is my glass half full or half empty? It is definitely half full. The joy of finding whatever “good” news there is in a situation instead of looking for and dwelling on the “bad”, improves one’s life markedly. So let’s all find the good, shall we?
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LibraryThing member BevFuller
"Find The Good" is a very profound, interesting book. I enjoyed it very much and recommend it highly.
LibraryThing member whitreidtan
It's so easy to focus on the negative. I can stew for a long time about someone cutting me off in traffic. I walk off the tennis court replaying my errors. I let unkind comments fester. And I know I'm not alone in this. But what if we chose to focus on happiness and the gifts that everyone in our
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lives brings to the table instead of dwelling on the negative? What if, as the title of Heather Lende's lovely new book suggests, we Find the Good? It won't change my traffic situation or improve my tennis game, but it sure might make me a more positive, contented person.

Life is lived in the dash between the dates on our headstone and until that last date is engraved, we can always change the story in between. Lende is the obituary writer in her small Alaskan fishing village. Often she knows the people she's writing about very well so it's heartbreakingly easy for her to find the good in someone's life as she goes about the business of distilling a life to the space allotted in the paper. Each short chapter is packed with wisdom gleaned from the life of someone who has died. And the brief slice of their life that Lende captures is wonderful, giving a real sense of the person. There is humor here and there are unexpected revelations. Lende shares a bit of her own family's challenges and the life-affirming way that she decided to face them. And as she does, she reminds us all that how we face each thing in our life is in fact a decision. We can dwell or we can celebrate and celebrating is infinitely more fun. It is a quick and welcoming read, one that is easy to dip in and out of when you need to be reminded about all the positives in life thanks to its vignette style essays. Heartwarming, simple, and direct, this is a gorgeous little book with a beautiful message that will leave you smiling as you close the cover. If you're looking for the good, you'll certainly find a lot of it here.
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LibraryThing member debnance
Heather Lende writes obituaries in her little town in Alaska. Through interviewing the deceased’s survivors, Lende has learned all the important things in life. Prominent among those things she’s learned is to find the good.

A gentle set of stories centered on the lessons of small-town life.
LibraryThing member debnance
Heather Lende writes obituaries in her little town in Alaska. Through interviewing the deceased’s survivors, Lende has learned all the important things in life. Prominent among those things she’s learned is to find the good.

A gentle set of stories centered on the lessons of small-town life.
LibraryThing member Jcambridge
Having grown up in a small town (albeit Minnesota rather than Alaska), I thoroughly enjoyed this book and the many characters. There are a lot of insights on life that any reader should appreciate. I highly recommend it.
LibraryThing member poetreegirl
A small town Alaska obituary writer shares what she has learned about life and death.
LibraryThing member TooBusyReading
I thought this short audio book, read by the author, would be a good palate cleanser between heavier, longer stories. It was short. As far as palate cleaning, yes it worked for that because it left almost no taste.

This nonfiction book about a small-town obituary writer could have been fascinating.
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I expected interesting stories about the people she met, the obituaries she wrote. And there was some of that. But the beginning of the book seemed too preachy to me, too self-satisfied.

I was disappointed that the author chose to buy a puppy rather than rescuing a dog, because she didn't want a dog that had learned bad habits from other people. And she had the dog shipped to her, apparently never seeing where it came from, what sort of conditions it was raised in, what condition the parents were. But the whole puppy thing didn't have much to do with the story.

Which was part of the problem. This short book felt disjointed, smug, and a little too stream-of-consciousness. The author's reading was a little too excitable. I could hear too many exclamation marks.

Perhaps others will find merit I didn't, but for me, this was a book I didn't enjoy and was pleased it was short.
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LibraryThing member LaPhenix
But sweet and short, but much less poignant and stirring than I'd expected.
LibraryThing member AliceaP
I went into Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons From a Small-Town Obituary Writer by Heather Lende with a lot of perhaps too many expectations. I anticipated (and hoped for) humor of the macabre variety. Find the Good is a book of anecdotal advice from someone who regular faces death head
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on...or at least experiences it alongside those left behind. From the book's blurb, I thought that this was going to be a look at death with a light touch because how else can one continually run up against death and retain their positive outlook on life? I guess in a way Lende does explore the way she has had to structure her life so that she can continue to be a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen when the grief overflows. As an obituary writer in a small town, most of the notices that she has had to write were about people that she knew if not intimately then by sight. That takes a toll on a person and also fosters an environment for emotional and spiritual growth. There are some good, positive points made but in my opinion not enough to warrant an entire book. It would have made a good article or think piece. There's very little I can say about this one other than it didn't really live up to my expectations or blow me away. It would probably work well on a short train ride or as a beach read. It's a 3/10 for me, guys.
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LibraryThing member MHanover10
This was okay. Glad it was less than 3 hours. I could knock it out quickly at work.
LibraryThing member deldevries
Fantastic short stories of real people in small town Alaska. The author has a beautiful way of finding the good in everyone and everything. But not Pollyanna either as she also tells the realistic foibles and messy parts as well. This is the best book I have read in several years. Five stars is not
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enough.
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LibraryThing member Auntie-Nanuuq
Short snippets about people who've died in Haines, AK by the writer of their obituaries. Interestingly she goes out to the house & interviews each person's family prior to writing their obituary...

From the snippets they all seemed like they were good people...

Did I learn anything else form this
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book? Not a thing, but it was interesting... so for that I gave a third star.
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LibraryThing member CarrieWuj
Nonfiction -- a quick and sweet read -- would make a great gift. Heather Lende lives in Haines, Alaska, pop. 2,000 and writes the obituaries for her town newspaper. Her approach is rather poetic and personal (and reminded me of the fictional Obituary Writer) and she shares in this collection
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insights on living a meaningful life. It also calls to mind the old 80s bestseller Robert Fulghum's Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. Her overarching advice is to Find the Good and that is what she tries to do in each life she chronicles, regardless of their actions and attitudes while living. Her wisdom is also earned in her own life of raising 5 kids (1 adopted) and enjoying three grandchildren (1 unexpected). Overall well-written and transcends the trite. Her final advice is "Find the good, praise the good and do good because you are still able to and because what moves your heart will remain long after you are gone..."
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Language

Original language

English

Physical description

7.1 inches

ISBN

1616201673 / 9781616201678
Page: 0.7674 seconds