The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

by Harriet Lerner

Paperback, 1997




Harper Paperbacks (1997), Edition: 2002 Printing, 239 pages


The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel--and certainly our anger is no exception. "Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.… (more)


½ (195 ratings; 3.9)

User reviews

LibraryThing member thesmellofbooks
An incredibly helpful book, if used and not just read through, in restructuring relationships of all kinds into positive and healthy ones. Not so complicated as we might expect!
LibraryThing member kaitye2409
Very good. Her book allowed me to apply some of her methods into practice for my household. I recommend this book to those who wish to work on their relationships with their love ones.
LibraryThing member tjsjohanna
Very helpful in seeing how I function in my relationships and in figuring out what is triggering my anger. Wish I'd read it sooner. I'm thinking I might have to buy this book.
LibraryThing member mmaat
good on over-functioning and under-functioning and triangulating
LibraryThing member maryh10000
Lots of good stuff, but also lots of generalizing about "we women" that I could have done without. However, if you read it as gender neutral, all the advice seems to be spot on.
LibraryThing member disneypope
I have referred many people to this book over the years to help learn about basic systems theory. Most helpful.
LibraryThing member cmbohn
I was in therapy this summer briefly, but long enough for my therapist to recommend this book. I read through it and several times spotted some things that I do sometimes, but I can't say it was life changing. Mostly it reminded me that I need to be honest about my feelings and I need to set clear
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boundaries and stick to them.
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LibraryThing member ljhliesl
A particular friend particularly wished me to read this. A self-help book of the sort I particularly avoid, and I have been more particular since.
LibraryThing member SonoranDreamer
This book is full of useful insights into how relationships work and how our behavior can change relationship cycles. My only disappointment is the lack of discussion of abuse. The assumption in this book seems to be that the relationship is not an abusive one and so is worthy of rescuing.
LibraryThing member jlford3
DNF - Though I appreciate her insights on anger, a lot of what she says is based on gender constructs, especially male-female marriage relationships. For example, the husband was always the aggressor and the woman's anger came from her passivity and come out in nagging outbursts. Though this may be
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true in some situations, it would have been nice to see an alternative view as well. (Though I didn't finish this, so I may have missed those type of examples if she included them.)
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LibraryThing member herebedragons
This is a great book for helping to unlock the reasons we hold onto anger, an emotion which is so, so damaging to our health and relationships.


Original language


Physical description

8 inches


006091565X / 9780060915650
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