Bite Me: A Love Story (Bloodsucking Fiends)

by Christopher Moore

Paperback, 2011

Status

Available

Call number

813.54

Publication

William Morrow Paperbacks (2011), Edition: Reprint, 352 pages

Description

San Franciscan goth girl Abby Normal and her brainiac boyfriend, Stephen "Foo Dog" Wong, pursue a vampire cat and his minions, but things become even more complicated with the arrival of three ancient vampires intent on getting some payback.

User reviews

LibraryThing member whitreidtan
I have, of course, gone on record as not being the world's biggest vampire fan. I prefer characters not potentially vanting to suck my blood. But, as I have also noted before, I do love Christopher Moore's warped (or should that be varped) sense of humor and so I dip into the world of the undead
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for him. Unfortunately, this third and final installment in his vampite trilogy didn't live up to the other two for me. Because it is Moore, it is still funny but it pales in comparison to Bloodsucking Fiends and doesn't quite reach the heights of the middling funny of You Suck, the previous two books.

Picking up where You Suck left off, Abby Normal, Jody and Tommy's minion, has trapped our intrepid vampires in bronze statues (aptly modeled after Rodin's The Kiss). But while Jody and Tommy are out of commission, a new threat crops up, requiring Abby and her new boyfriend to take on a blue whore vampire, the Animals, and Chet the Bald Vampire Kitty who is turning all the cats in San Francisco and busily stalking human prey. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? That just makes it a typical Christopher Moore story. Somehow he manages to take completely disparate plot lines, even wacko plot lines, and weave them together so that they not only work but that they make the reader giggle.

Abby Normal is a major focus in this third book of the trilogy and that was a bit of a problem for me since I didn't love Abby in the previous book and found nothing here to change my mind. She is an annoying and ridiculous character and in a book full of entertaining zanies, that is a distinct handicap. I winced each time I turned the page and was faced with her journal (narrated in her own unique voice, a strange combination of goth and bubble-gum) or her over the top adolescent shenanigans, especially when in the company of her boyfriend. However, given that it was Moore and that I wanted to know what happened to the rest of the crazy characters and whether or not they would be successful in their quest to save San Francisco from the hordes of the undead, I soldiered on with the book. I even chuckled a time or two.

I'm sure that my high expectations for Moore's work made this perfectly adequate book feel more disappointing than it otherwise would have been. This is probably really only of interest to established Moore fans or those who have already started the trilogy and want to follow it through to the end. Don't make this book your first ride at Christopher Moore's carnival. It's not a bad book, it's just not one of his best. And his best, let me tell you, they are worth the price of admission.
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LibraryThing member lilithcat
When we last saw our heroine, Abby Normal, Goth girl sidekick to a couple of vampires, she had bronzed them. And now she and her love monkey are all that stand between San Francisco and a giant shaved vampire cat. Actually, a lot of vampire cats. She must also battle her mother unit, who has no
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sympathy with Abby's desire to become Nosferatu. Poor kid. It's tough being a teenage emergency back-up mistress of the greater Bay Area night!

Typical Christopher Moore bizarre humor. (And it's not necessary to have read the preceding two books, Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, to enjoy this one.)
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LibraryThing member JackieBlem
Forget Stephanie Meyer, THESE are the vampires you want to hang out with because they will make you laugh constantly. This is a fang-filled, free-for-all festival of sex, vampire cats, fringe science and teenage minion angst. It picks up where "You Suck" left off without missing a beat and it is of
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course full of Moore's stylistic raunchy humor that has made him a superstar to the slightly twisted reader like myself. FANGtastic read with a surprise ending--don't miss it!
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LibraryThing member Katlers
This was cool. I do wish that there was more to the end though, It would have been nice to see what exactly happened to Jody.

I hope that there are further stories for this series, as I enjoyed every word written by the author. The books were just the right size and were packed with action and tons
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of comedy. Truly enjoyed them all.
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LibraryThing member titania86
Abby Normal and her boyfriend (also known as the manga-haired love monkey) have sealed Jodie and Tommy in bronze. You see, they are both vampires and to save them from breaking up, killing people, or being killed by two police officers, Cavuto and Rivera, that are after them. Everything isn’t all
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roses and rainbows now that they are out of the way. Chet the bald vampire cat is wreaking havoc all over San Francisco, indiscriminately eating the homeless and changing over more and more cats. This cat horde is getting ridiculously large and out of control and it’s up to Abby, the manga-haired love monkey, Cavuto, and Rivera to stop them before they eat everyone in San Francisco. Can they do this in time or will they perish to the fuzzy little vampires?

Christopher Moore’s books are always guaranteed to make you laugh with his quirky, irreverent brand of humor. For me, the Bloodsucking Fiends series was always okay, but not as good as most of his other novels. I preferred the Pine Cove books. Bite Me far surpasses the rest of the series. It manages to be really funny while also being genuinely dark and suspenseful. These two things seem to be opposing qualities, but Moore manages to combine them fluidly. I never thought that a swarm of vampire cats could actually be made scary. The very concept is simply ridiculous, but it’s actually menacing and kind of funny at the same time. This is one of the best horror comedies that I’ve ever read.

In Moore’s books, the characters always have clear voices and are instantly recognizable. This book is no different. Most of it is in Abby Normal’s point of view, a girl who is part valley girl and part goth minion. She has a way of speaking that I would find completely annoying in a real person, but it somehow comes off as endearing. Her thought processes are a little weird and especially illogical to her poor boyfriend, but that’s what really makes her narrative special. The only criticism of her part was when she said “kayso,” which was a huge amount, I thought of queso. Other than that, I really enjoyed it. Abby and the other characters seem much more fleshed out in this novel and go through more character development than in previous books. When the point of view is passed to another character, the voice is immediately established and there is never any confusion about who is narrating.

Bite Me is easily the best in Moore’s vampire series. It features a colorful cast of characters that have their own unique personalities and voices. I would recommend this horror comedy to those with a sense of humor.
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LibraryThing member miyurose
Moore has wrapped up his trilogy in fine fashion. As before, the star here really is Abby Normal, whose voice cuts through everything else. Especially entertaining is her quest to become "Nosferatu" — much more entertaining than chasing herds of vampyre cats around the city. I also enjoyed the
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mysterious orange-socked samurai. Not quite as entertaining was anything that had to do with Cavuto, Rivera, or the Animals. But, I can sit through periods of slow stuff as long as I know there’s more of Abby’s narration around the corner.
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LibraryThing member Berly
Bite Me by Christopher Moore should have been the perfect Halloween treat, especially since I adored his Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. But it was not to be. Moore has this great sense of humor and I enjoy his unusual take on things, but just listen to this drivel:

"And
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I was all, 'Nosferatu.' Whispered to Jared like a night wind through dead trees.
And Jared was all, 'No way, you sad. deluded little slut.'
And I was all, 'Shut your fetid penis port, you spunk-breathed poseur.' Which he took as a compliment, so that's how I meant it, because while Jared is deeply gay, he's never really gayed anyone up, except maybe his pet rat, Lucifer."

Seriously?

My rating scale starts at 1 for those I don't finish, but this might actually be a zero. Breaks my heart. Maybe I am not in the right frame of mind.
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LibraryThing member LibraryCin
******POSSIBLE SPOILER FOR FIRST TWO BOOKS IN SERIES******
Tommy and Jody are vampires and their minion, Abby, has encased them in bronze.
******END SPOILER******

Meanwhile, the city is being overrun by vampire cats.

I really liked the first in the series, and the second one was good. This one, I did
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not like. I really dislike Abby (even mentioned it in my review of You Suck), and she was more of a focus in this one. She is really annoying, and I hate her teenspeak. The first chapter particularly put me off the book – it was a recap of the first two books, which is fine, but it was all retold by Abby in her annoying way. Chapters that focused on other people were better, but not enough to pull up my rating. I know it's meant to be funny, but this one just seemed way too ridiculous for me. At least it didn't take long to read (though it was helped along by me sometimes skimming).
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LibraryThing member andsoitgoes
At first I found the narration by Abby Normal so annoying that I almost didn't finish the book. Which would have been a tragedy for me since I love Christopher Moore's books and was eagerly awaiting the last in this trilogy. Once it got into the other characters it got great and I couldn't put it
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down. Sorry to see the end of this series but it was fun and so Moore! Excitingly Mr. Moore was in my area last week and my sister got a signed copy of this for me for my birthday! The inscription reads "Happy Birthday Nancy! Christopher Moore". Wow!
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LibraryThing member topps
Fun with vampires, with great secondary characters.
LibraryThing member KApplebaum
A Dirty Job and You Suck were better, but I still couldn't go to bed until I finished the book.
LibraryThing member sszkutak
I really liked this book. I was even more thrilled that it held my attention through over 2 months of not having my kindle to finish reading it.

The story was great and Moore's characters were entertaining as always. If you are up for a good laugh you should read this.
LibraryThing member lesleydawn
Hilarious, but isn't Moore always funny? I'll definitely be reading this book again in the near future.
LibraryThing member reenum
The first two books of this trilogy gripped the reader from the get go. This one doesn't.

I gave it a shot. But between the tiresome recounting of what happened in "You Suck" and the annoying vocal mannerisms of Abby Normal, I couldn't finish.
LibraryThing member etimme
Bite Me was a hilarious and quick read. Moore fleshes out the vampire mythology further, but that is really second to the interaction of his off-the-wall characters. Chet makes an excellent antagonist, and I really enjoy how outside characters that try and force themselves into the story (the three
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vampire disciples) find themselves completely unprepared for the insanity of these people.

I actually found myself enjoying the old characters (Jody, Tommy, the Mayor, the cops) quite a bit less than the new stars of the story - Foo Dog, the corpse sniffing dog, Chet, the Chinese grandmother. They're all great fun to read, and they fit perfectly into Moore's world. I also enjoyed the quick cameo by the daughter from "A Dirty Job" - I hope we get another story out of her next.

The book ends on a satisfying note and quite neatly wraps up the vampire infection so that the next time we find ourselves in San Francisco it will be nosferatu-free. However, lament that this might be the end of the road for many of our characters (relegating them to quick cameos in future SF books).
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LibraryThing member DanaJean
The third book in this vampire tale featuring these particular characters, I hate to use the word "cute" to describe the story, but, that's what it is. I read the first two books and although I enjoyed them more, this was a satisfactory companion piece to the other two. Abby's voice--the main
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narrator of this tale and teenage PITA-- was grating but very authentic. Moore did a fantastic job capturing the sound of a particular type of teen girl.

I would definitely recommend reading the other two first, otherwise, you might not think all this "cuteness" worth your time if you come to this story first. (Although you could as Moore does an adequate enough job setting up the back story.)
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LibraryThing member katelisim
4 Stars
This is the third story in Christopher Moore's comedic vampire series. From Abby's point of view, a perky high school goth minion of the vampires Jody and Tommy (who are complete vamp noobs). After bronzing Jody and Tommy so they wouldn't split up, Abby and her boyfriend Foo set up in Jody
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and Tommy's loft, nick named the love lair. All is going smooth since all the vampires are gone until they figure out Chet, a huge cat, had been turned vamp by Elijah and is now running around San Francisco making a horde of kitty vamps. Then they start to eat all the homeless people and the hookers. Things get out of control, so all the players of the last books are brought in to help stop Chet, who is getting bigger by the day.

Hilarious like the first two. You don't need to read them in order, as there is a mini sum-up at the beginnings. Official order of the books = [Bloodsucking Fiends], [You Suck], [Bite Me]. I read them 2, 1, 3. Order of liking is 2, 3, 1-- although the margins are very slim.
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LibraryThing member kraaivrouw
It is impossible for me to turn aside a book about an enormous vampire cat stalking San Francisco, turning other kitties into vampires, turning rats and mice into vampires, and all of them chowing down on the homeless population. Add into the mix Abby Normal, Foo Dog, Jared, and the Animals -
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hapless teenagers serving as the wayward minions of two vampire lovers - and one sad samurai in orange knickerbockers and I'm all set. The homeless guy and former owner of said cat with the sign that reads: I'M HOMELESS. MY CAT IS HUGE. - that's bonus.

I will admit that after the first few pages of this book I stopped and flipped through to make sure that I wasn't going to have read teen speak throughout the entire book - amusing though it was for a few pages I didn't think I could take it for hundreds. Fortunately that is interspersed with other kinds of language, much of it so funny that I ended up reading portions aloud to my husband and we both laughed until we cried, rolling around on the bed giggling with our cat looking at us like we were out of our minds.

I haven't read the other two books, but I will (and this was great fun even without them). Funny, well-written, and so spot on about the Bay Area that I recognized various characters immediately from my daily BART rides. I couldn't help but think of the Tales of the City series by Armistead Maupin, not because the subject matter is similar, but because both sets of books capture something essential about the Bay Area of their individual times. Read this book!
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LibraryThing member MaryWJ
love this book, very funny as usual! The third one in the series about Jodi, Tommy, and Abby Normal plus a wide variety of other interesting characters to provide entertainment.
LibraryThing member saramllr
'Kayso, I think Abby Normal deserves her own spin-off series. I admire a gal who can kiss a guy passionately and then slap him, just so he doesn't think that she's a slut.

Laugh out loud funny.
LibraryThing member mountie9
The Good Stuff

The dialogue is so hilarious and outrageous, you won't be able to stop yourself from laughing out loud
Vampire Cat -- enough said. I'm thinking Mr Moore is a dog lover
Loved the names of the characters
Very unusual story
Can I say once again the dialogue is frickin awesome, sort of
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reminds me of an episode of my beloved Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Not so Good Stuff

I think this might have gotten a higher rating if I had read the other books in the series first
The passages written by Abby Normal are difficult to read from a 40 yr old women's perspective, it was like she was speaking some foreign tongue
Honestly, I think this one would appeal to be more in an audio-book format
Storyline jumps around a lot and their are way too many POV's
I really wanted to like this one more, but I kept putting it down because I was irritated and confused -- however, the dialogue at times kept me wanting to finish it (That and I am way too stubborn to give a book a DNF)
Favorite Quotes/Passages

"Sometimes it's best to turn the tables and start asking questions when your argument sucks ass."

"Resistance is futile," said Clint in a robot voice.

"I thought you were Christian," said Cavuto.

"What, I can't love Jesus and Star Trek?"

"I should have been born in Wuthering Heights times. Although if I was Cathy, I would have hunted down that Heathcliff guy and beat him with a riding crop like a sado-hooker with his Black Card on file. Just sayin'."

What I Learned

Must read the whole synopsis before agreeing to review a book - than I might have noticed it was part of a series
Who should/shouldn't read

This will be more appreciated by the younger set (and I mean those over 19 but younger than me)
Fans of quirky novels will enjoy
Will be interested in what Natasha thinks of it
Not for the prudish btw
3 Dewey's (Will review again after I have read the first 2 books)

I received this from HarperCollins in exchange for an honest review (Sorry guys will get my hands on a copy of the 1st 2 books in the series so I can give a more indepth review)
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LibraryThing member JechtShot
Bite Me, is the third (and hopefully last) installment of Christopher Moore's Love Story series. The action starts with Abigail Von Normal, minion of the countess with an IQ of -12, nesting in her love lair with her science- oriented and manga haired boy toy, Foo-Dog. The lovers bizarre mating
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rituals are interrupted when the city of San Francisco is plagued by a herd of Vampire Cats, with Chet, the fat shaved cat, as the alpha cat-vamp. Jody and Flood are released from their bronze prison to try and once again thwart this city-wide crisis. The humor in this book went from funny to foul as quickly as a fish left in a desk drawer overnight. Christopher Moore is normally an accomplished humorist, but this book fell short. If you have invested the time to read the first two books in the series you may want to pick this one up for closure reasons, but if you haven't and you happen to be reading this then run! Run fast and find something else to read.
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LibraryThing member Ramplo
SPOILER (without details) Loved the whole book RIGHT TILL THE END...then it went downhill. I'm all for twists but the end of this book just made me feel like I had spent all my time getting invested in this series for it to all be thrown out and to start back at page one. It was still very
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entertaining though.
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LibraryThing member TheDivineOomba
Best recap ever in a book :) How to explain - its fun exciting, gets valley/goth girl perfectly, and text messaging! Lovely Lovely book! And, the ending is perfect - its not very often when I read a book where the ending doesn't disappoint at least a little...

I think this book is even better than
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Bloodsucking Fiends!

My only complaint- the cover is aimed at the chick lit crowd, and so is the blurb by Charlene Harris. This isn't a chick lit book - and I hope that no no new readers will be turned off by the cover.
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LibraryThing member gsmattingly
At times it was a struggle getting through it. The last few chapters were better and more interesting but I can't say that this was a marvelous read. Just an okay read.

Language

Original language

English

Original publication date

2010-03-23

Physical description

352 p.; 5.31 inches

ISBN

0061779733 / 9780061779732
Page: 0.7165 seconds