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Family & Relationships. Psychology. Nonfiction. HTML:"An honest, practical, as well as emotional guide to working through the processing of mourning" (Vogue.com), Grief Works is a lifeline for all of us dealing with loss and a handbook to help others�??from the "expected" death of a parent to the sudden and unexpected death of a child or spouse. Death affects us all. Yet it is still the last taboo in our society, and grief is still profoundly misunderstood. Julia Samuel, a grief psychotherapist, has spent twenty-five years working with the bereaved and understanding the full repercussions of loss. In Grief Works, Samuel shares case studies from those who have experienced great love and great loss�??and survived. People need to understand that grief is a process that has to be worked through, and Samuel shows if we do the work, we can begin to heal. "As a guide for the newly grieving, Grief Works succeeds on many levels, and the author's compassionate storytelling skills provide even broader appeal...and consistently hit an authentically inspiring note" (Kirkus Reviews, starred review). "Illuminating" (The New York Times), intimate, warm, and helpful, Samuel is a caring and deeply experienced guide through the shadowy and mutable land of grief, and her book is as invaluable to those who are grieving as it is to those around them. She adroitly unpacks the psychological tangles of grief in a voice that is compassionate, grounded, real, and observant of those in mourning. Divided into case histories grouped by who has died�??a partner, a parent, a sibling, a child, as well section dealing with terminal illness and suicide�??Grief Works shows us how to live and learn from great loss. This important book is "essential for anyone who has ever experienced grief or wanted to comfort a bereaved friend" (Helen Fielding, author of Bridget Jones's… (more)
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In her book, she shares stories of clients who lost parents, spouses, children, siblings, and those who were faced with their own looming death. These stories are like mini vignettes of their counseling sessions, covering the highs and lows of the grief process. Many of her clients suffered from deep depression, alcoholism, fear, and anger. All of these are common emotions and actions when dealing with a loss. Some of the anger that was felt wasn't so much from the death, but how others handled the death. One woman spoke of her deep anger and hurt over a close co-worker who stopped speaking to her after her mother's death. Her friend said a simple "Sorry for your loss" and then never spoke to her again. This loss of a close friend along with her mother hurt her greatly. We don't know why the friend stopped speaking to the bereaved friend, but most likely, it was that she didn't know what to say or do, so it is easier to avoid that to possibly say the wrong thing.
I've read many books on grief and dealing with death and while this one followed similar stories of those left behind to suffer, I felt a bit detached from the personal stories. I can't put my finger on why, but maybe they were written a bit too clinical, being told from the counselor's perspective and not the client. What I appreciated most was the end of the book that dealt with the coping strategies both for the bereaved and for the friends and family of those grieving. After one of my close friends died suddenly this summer, a number of people have asked me how to handle it, knowing that I used to work in Hospice. I found her suggestions to be good reminders for myself when seeing those who are grieving as well as handling my own moments when I remember my friend. Samuel offers important suggestions for those suffering and for others who want to continue to be a friend or support the family member in their home. Whether you are suffering the loss of a parent to old age, a sibling to an accident, or a spouse to a heart attack, you are never prepared for the deep emotions and loss. Having family and friends there for you is critical to surviving in those weeks, months, and years after the death.
I think if you are grieving or know someone close to you who are grieving, this book could be helpful, especially the practical steps and advice at the end of the book. Samuel is obviously a leader in grief counseling and has years of research and experience to back up her advice.
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155.937 |