Status
Available
Call number
Collections
Publication
Publisher Unknown
Description
"An intimate, revelatory book exploring the ways we can care for and repair ourselves when life knocks us down. Sometimes you slip through the cracks: unforeseen circumstances like an abrupt illness, the death of a loved one, a break up, or a job loss can derail a life. These periods of dislocation can be lonely and unexpected. For May, her husband fell ill, her son stopped attending school, and her own medical issues led her to leave a demanding job. Wintering explores how she not only endured this painful time, but embraced the singular opportunities it offered. A moving personal narrative shot through with lessons from literature, mythology, and the natural world, May's story offers instruction on the transformative power of rest and retreat. Illumination emerges from many sources: solstice celebrations and dormice hibernation, C.S. Lewis and Sylvia Plath, swimming in icy waters and sailing Arctic seas. Ultimately Wintering invites us to change how we relate to our own fallow times. May models an active acceptance of sadness and finds nourishment in deep retreat, joy in the hushed beauty of winter, and encouragement in understanding life as cyclical, not linear. A secular mystic, May forms a guiding philosophy for transforming the hardships that arise before the ushering in of a new season"--… (more)
Awards
NPR: Books We Love (2020)
Boston Globe Best Book (Nonfiction — 2020)
Original publication date
2020-11-10
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User reviews
LibraryThing member sometimeunderwater
At first I found this refreshingly uneventful - like a jigsaw or fireplace - a calm and meandering look at various winter things, in a relaxing, unconfrontational style.
The line between refreshingly uneventful and pointlessness is a fine one. Somewhere along the way it drifted off into the latter
A minor point, but lots of poets have written very beautifully about robins for thousands of years, was the best choice "Mackenzie Crook in the Daily Telegraph, 2017"?
The line between refreshingly uneventful and pointlessness is a fine one. Somewhere along the way it drifted off into the latter
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for me, and I started to wonder why I was reading a few hundred words about some random person's singing lesson. The author also fell into the trap of occasionally trying to evidence some point with a few random stats, which she never quite made with full purpose. A minor point, but lots of poets have written very beautifully about robins for thousands of years, was the best choice "Mackenzie Crook in the Daily Telegraph, 2017"?
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LibraryThing member spinsterrevival
This was such a great read and much needed right now; the language is beautiful, and I enjoyed the mixture of memoir, travel, and a little research (also the audiobook narrator is wonderful). I’ve “wintered” a few times in my life so far and am actually wintering right now. I think this book
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should be read along with Burnout by the Nagoski sisters to give women permission to live their lives in a way that’s the truest for themselves. Show Less
LibraryThing member lycomayflower
Wintering is a memoir of difficult times in May's life as well as a meditation on winter as a season. She considers the power of lying fallow, both in the natural world around us and in our own lives. This was just a delightful read and did what so many of my favorite memoirs do: it entwined the
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narrative of May's life with all sorts of relevant information about the world. Recommended. Show Less
LibraryThing member isabelx
We're not raised to recognise wintering, or to acknowledge its inevitability.
This book didn't speak to me at all. For all that the author said that those who undergo wintering have a duty to tell other people about it, it all seems very self-centred and it didn't draw me in.
This book didn't speak to me at all. For all that the author said that those who undergo wintering have a duty to tell other people about it, it all seems very self-centred and it didn't draw me in.
LibraryThing member viviennestrauss
The perfect book to read now, well, really any time. Winter is truly is often a state of mind. As someone who likes to keep pushing on, despite fatigue I am going to be more mindful of resting when I need to.
LibraryThing member atreic
This is another one of those books where a depressed middle-class woman writes a book about being a depressed middle-class woman, peppered with a strong sense of the turning of the seasons and the wonder of the natural world. It all feels a little superficial as it skates between discussions of
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bees, northern lights, St Lucy’s day and wild swimming. But maybe that is part of it, that it is ok to be wintering, to have times when we can’t do great things and just live in the moment as it is presented to us. And that spring will cycle round. Show Less
LibraryThing member sanyamakadi
I liked this more than I thought I would. I expected it to be largely treacly, "women need to prioritize themselves when life is hard" content, and there was a lot of that, but it was interspersed with clever writing and amusing anecdotes, and (two things I will always love) stories of food and
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travel. As someone going through her own personal winter, it wasn't the best for me to read about someone who was having similar issues but whose outcomes were much more positive, but c'est la vie. It also made me wish I lived near the sea as the author does, as the ocean is also my personal source of calm and solace. Unfortunately I don't, and covid means I cannot even travel there. Show Less
LibraryThing member bookworm12
The writing in this memoir is beautiful, but the subject matter feels disjointed. Some sections are about parenting, others about childhood, and yet more sections about depression. It reminded me of The Year of Living Danishly, but it lacked the humor of that book. It was more sparse and bleak,
“Wintering is a season in the cold. It is a fallow period in life when you’re cut off from the world, feeling rejected, sidelined, blocked from progress, or cast into the role of an outsider. Perhaps it results from an illness or a life event such as a bereavement or the birth of a child; perhaps it comes from a humiliation or failure. Perhaps you’re in a period of transition and have temporarily fallen between two worlds. Some wintering creep upon us more slowly, accompanying the protracted death of a relationship, the gradual ratcheting up of caring responsibilities as our parents age, the drip-drip-drip of lost confidence. Some are appallingly sudden, like discovering one day that your skills are considered obsolete, the company you worked for has gone bankrupt, or your partner is in love with someone new. However, it arrives, wintering is usually involuntary, lonely, and deeply painful.”
“If happiness is a skill, then sadness is, too. Perhaps through all those years at school, or perhaps through other terrors, we are taught to ignore sadness, to stuff it down into our satchels and pretend it isn’t there. As adults, we often have to learn to hear the clarity of its call. That is wintering. It is the active acceptance of sadness. It is the practice of allowing ourselves to feel it as a need.”
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which was appropriate considering the subject matter, but had less of an impact on me personally. “Wintering is a season in the cold. It is a fallow period in life when you’re cut off from the world, feeling rejected, sidelined, blocked from progress, or cast into the role of an outsider. Perhaps it results from an illness or a life event such as a bereavement or the birth of a child; perhaps it comes from a humiliation or failure. Perhaps you’re in a period of transition and have temporarily fallen between two worlds. Some wintering creep upon us more slowly, accompanying the protracted death of a relationship, the gradual ratcheting up of caring responsibilities as our parents age, the drip-drip-drip of lost confidence. Some are appallingly sudden, like discovering one day that your skills are considered obsolete, the company you worked for has gone bankrupt, or your partner is in love with someone new. However, it arrives, wintering is usually involuntary, lonely, and deeply painful.”
“If happiness is a skill, then sadness is, too. Perhaps through all those years at school, or perhaps through other terrors, we are taught to ignore sadness, to stuff it down into our satchels and pretend it isn’t there. As adults, we often have to learn to hear the clarity of its call. That is wintering. It is the active acceptance of sadness. It is the practice of allowing ourselves to feel it as a need.”
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LibraryThing member varielle
This is not a self-help book. It is a rumination by the author who experienced a series of misfortunes in mid-life. She seems to be developing self-awareness after illness and career crises. She hunkered down and engaged in self-care. I really wanted to like Wintering but the author is
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self-absorbed and has to work hard to empathize with others until there is a severe crisis. She couldn’t comprehend that her son was having difficulty in school despite being told multiple times. She actually laughed at her husband when he became ill with what turned out to be a ruptured appendix and was annoyed that he was disrupting an outing. Her own illness was not severe but it was to her causing her to abandon her job which she hated and seek out various experiences to get a grip. This may be thought provoking and helpful to some readers. I’m just not one of them. Show Less
LibraryThing member splinfo
Thought I would have had all the ideas about weathering, er I mean wintering.
I would listen to this again, maybe once a year. For me, some deep appreciated insight.
I would listen to this again, maybe once a year. For me, some deep appreciated insight.
LibraryThing member neurodrew
I acquired this book because it had good reviews, and because I enjoy personal essays and reflections, especially when they include natural facts and descriptions. Katherine May lives by the seaside in England. She has published essays and journalism. Her wintering began when she quit her job as a
“Seeing them is an uncertain experience, almost an act of faith. You have to get your eye in, and I don’t think I would ever have spotted them at all had I not been told they were there.
There is nothing showy about the northern lights, nothing obvious or demanding. They hide from you at first, and then they whisper to you”
She experiences an ice storm, a common occurrence in Maryland but apparently rare in England. She writes that Eden Phillpotts, an author of A Shadow Passes in 1918, calls in an “ammil”, a corruption of “enamel”. She goes to a voice teacher because she loses her voice, and visits a bee keeper.
She is thinking to attract sympathy for her need for rest and retreat, and the book is certainly beautifully written. However, I note that she is writing the book and collecting quotes for it as she “winters”, and ultimately, the book will pay the bills. As someone who has worked steadily for forty five years as a busy physician, with the longest vacation being 6 weeks, her wintering seems like a tremendous self indulgence.
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writing teacher, and her husband came close to dying from appendicitis. Her second or third grade son could no longer stand being in school, and started home schooling instead. These lead her to depression (she is irritable, has early morning awakening, change in appetite, and fatigue) and to writing about winter, starting in September and arranged in monthly chapters until May. She writes lyrically about the weather, the snow, hibernating, organizing her home, baking and teaching her child. She discovers swimming in the sea in winter, with another woman. She worries about money, gives up on a place outside the home for writing, and sleeps a lot. She recalls trips to Trömso, Norway to see the northern lights. “Seeing them is an uncertain experience, almost an act of faith. You have to get your eye in, and I don’t think I would ever have spotted them at all had I not been told they were there.
There is nothing showy about the northern lights, nothing obvious or demanding. They hide from you at first, and then they whisper to you”
She experiences an ice storm, a common occurrence in Maryland but apparently rare in England. She writes that Eden Phillpotts, an author of A Shadow Passes in 1918, calls in an “ammil”, a corruption of “enamel”. She goes to a voice teacher because she loses her voice, and visits a bee keeper.
She is thinking to attract sympathy for her need for rest and retreat, and the book is certainly beautifully written. However, I note that she is writing the book and collecting quotes for it as she “winters”, and ultimately, the book will pay the bills. As someone who has worked steadily for forty five years as a busy physician, with the longest vacation being 6 weeks, her wintering seems like a tremendous self indulgence.
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LibraryThing member mdoris
I have no idea who steered me to this book but whoever it was I am sending you a BIG thank you! It reminded me of so many wonderful books I have read such as Sarah Moss's book on Iceland or H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald. In this book she looks from the lens of her own life to change and the
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critical part and insight that winter (or possibly depression) gives to making those critical and important changes. She has lots of personal observations such a becoming a mother, the challenge of career that is not working well, the wonder of very cold ocean swimming, the concerns for children when things are not going well for them, the replenishment for us of nature and much more. This book could be re-read many times with different sections taking honour. I liked this quiet book! Show Less
LibraryThing member laytonwoman3rd
A short and very personal memoir of the author's journey to embrace the cold, the relative isolation, and the introspection of winter in an effort to learn how to deal with the internal winter that affects everyone from time to time. Some very lovely writing.
LibraryThing member dele2451
A testament to the healing powers of social distancing and winter hibernation even when there isn't a pandemic raging. I enjoyed this book so much, I may even try a polar bear plunge.
LibraryThing member brianinbuffalo
Given the fact that I was expecting a self-help book, I was disappointed to discover that it's really a memoir. One reviewer aptly noted that it was very self-focused. Granted, May explores some interesting ideas. I was especially interested in her exploration of sleeping patterns/rituals. For
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example, I never knew about the "biphasic" sleep pattern that involves two periods of sleep punctuated by a short period of acute wakefulness. "Wintering" is also well-written. It merely didn't live up to my expectations. Show Less
LibraryThing member threadnsong
A lyrical, kind, insightful book on taking a step back to re-group. But it's more than that - it shows the path that Katherine May took when she had to stop her own life in the face of illness. The biggest strength is her way of giving validation to those times in our lives when we, too, are faced
She speaks with a friend from Finland, who talks about the steps the Finns have to take each year to prepare for the winter. Because it always comes. She speaks with a Druid and joins a group celebrating the Midwinter sunrise at Stonehenge. She discusses dormice, those quintessential English sleepers who spend so much time fattening up before slipping into their annual hibernation.
I found myself taking heart from her examples and the underlying message: winter will always come around again. The challenge is how we prepare for and nurture ourselves during those times.
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with the challenges life throws at us, and the rightness of retreating from the world to emerge whole on the other side. Her observations of her native English seaside and towns add a grounding to this slim volume.She speaks with a friend from Finland, who talks about the steps the Finns have to take each year to prepare for the winter. Because it always comes. She speaks with a Druid and joins a group celebrating the Midwinter sunrise at Stonehenge. She discusses dormice, those quintessential English sleepers who spend so much time fattening up before slipping into their annual hibernation.
I found myself taking heart from her examples and the underlying message: winter will always come around again. The challenge is how we prepare for and nurture ourselves during those times.
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LibraryThing member infjsarah
Am not sure what this book was supposed to be - self-help, memoir, plea to take a rest occasionally? It was very scattered and did not give me what I was expecting. Bit blah TBH.
LibraryThing member PlanCultivateCreate
Just what is needed right now, some perspective in the timeline of the seasons and in this wintering we are experiencing globally.
LibraryThing member indygo88
In this part memoir, part self-help, Katherine May explores the concept of "wintering", the act of persevering through and coming to appreciate the more dismal and dark periods of our lives, most notably in the cold and more barren winter months.
This is not typically the type of book in my
This is not typically the type of book in my
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wheelhouse, but it's this month's book club selection and I do think it's good to venture out of my comfort zone and read on a variety of topics and genres. I think I may have appreciated this more had I been reading in January or February (vs. December), but it's still the time of year where this is pertinent. Overall, I thought this was a pretty well-written book, though again, not the type that really pulls me in like a good fiction title would. I think what really saved this for me was the fact that I listened on audio. It may have dragged had I read in print, but in this case the audiobook reader, Rebecca Lee (who I was not previously familiar with) was what made me want to keep coming back to listen. Something about her voice was very compelling, and listening in the car put me in a zone of sorts. (Though I found setting the speed at 1.25 was best in this case.) So will this book stick with me? Probably not so much so, but I don't regret reading it either. Show Less
LibraryThing member SeriousGrace
I feel like this book comes from a place of privilege. How many of us can safely leave employment and snuggle into a season of wintering? I learned to manage my expectations in regards to what I am hoping to "get" out of reading Wintering. I found myself asking what is the difference between an
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entertaining story and one from which you are supposed to greatly benefit? I want to call Wintering a beautifully written memoir with a message and leave it at that. To think there is a self-help promise was almost too much to ask. Otherwise, if I don't just call it a memoir, Wintering will be nothing more than a book with an identity crisis. Self-help or self-story? More of the latter is my honest opinion. It is a memoir about navigating a difficult season, if you take wintering in the literal sense. Show Less
LibraryThing member sublunarie
The title of this book is clickbait.
I truly felt as if someone handed me a book and completely lied to me when telling me what it was about. While May uses the term "Wintering" throughout, she uses it in multiple ways - not just the season of winter, but also as a colloquial word meaning 'a
If this is what rest and retreat is, I am not interested. The vast majority of this book is about being outside of your home, doing things, meeting people, trying new experiences and learning from them. Which, yes, is a very important part of life. But that is not what the book promised me. When I want to rest and retreat I don't think about flying to Iceland or jumping in freezing water or visiting Stonehenge at 6am - I think about staying home and taking care of myself.
More noteworthy disappointments were the chapter titled "Midwinter" (the aforementioned Stonhenge trip) which is a strange dump of othering as the author is clearly trying, and failing, to toe the line of being respectful while at the same time othering and making fun of groups of people whose actions don't align with her own. And near the end of the book, the chapter "Cold Water" where she interviews a woman who claims to have cured her Bipolar Disorder with taking ice baths. Not just a laughable concept, but an incredibly dangerous one to put in print.
There is some substance here. The author's own journey with cold sea bathing and her introduction to saunas both were lovely stories - and I intend to find myself a sauna this winter as a result. But overall this is not the book that the blurbs, nor the title, promised.
I truly felt as if someone handed me a book and completely lied to me when telling me what it was about. While May uses the term "Wintering" throughout, she uses it in multiple ways - not just the season of winter, but also as a colloquial word meaning 'a
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challenging time in life'. However, the subtitle, "The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times"? It is not until the March chapter "Survival", near the end of the book, that rest and retreat is really discussed. A quick discussion of staying home and knitting. And then we move on.If this is what rest and retreat is, I am not interested. The vast majority of this book is about being outside of your home, doing things, meeting people, trying new experiences and learning from them. Which, yes, is a very important part of life. But that is not what the book promised me. When I want to rest and retreat I don't think about flying to Iceland or jumping in freezing water or visiting Stonehenge at 6am - I think about staying home and taking care of myself.
More noteworthy disappointments were the chapter titled "Midwinter" (the aforementioned Stonhenge trip) which is a strange dump of othering as the author is clearly trying, and failing, to toe the line of being respectful while at the same time othering and making fun of groups of people whose actions don't align with her own. And near the end of the book, the chapter "Cold Water" where she interviews a woman who claims to have cured her Bipolar Disorder with taking ice baths. Not just a laughable concept, but an incredibly dangerous one to put in print.
There is some substance here. The author's own journey with cold sea bathing and her introduction to saunas both were lovely stories - and I intend to find myself a sauna this winter as a result. But overall this is not the book that the blurbs, nor the title, promised.
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LibraryThing member murderbydeath
A timely concept, with scope for opening some profoundly meaningful thought and conversation, but ultimately, I found it unsatisfying.
I really like the premise of ‘wintering’; the cyclical nature of life as it progresses on a linear timeline, like a waveform that moves forward, up, and down,
More than half of this book is memoir, and I think that I found that unsatisfying too – I occasionally enjoy a good memoir, but that’s not what I was here for, even though I knew going in what I was going to get. There were times when she used her memoir writing to really good effect, as a segue into research or coping strategies – these parts worked better for me than the times where she just wanders around contemplating. She almost had me considering cold water therapy with more than the usual snort of incredulity I normally give it, although my body is conditioned to react to any water temperature below 28C/82F as hypothermic, so it will take more than her personal successes to get me doing a polar bear dip.
I started to lose patience around about the time she started in about how women are conditioned to control their voices because they’re women and it’s all part of the grand plan to keep us under mens’ heel. While I don’t deny the imbalance, her logic fails, as she claims women who speak softly are considered mousy, but women who talk authoritatively are considered overbearing and brash. While this is true, it’s not a judgement confined solely to women: men who speak softly are thought weak and ineffectual, and men who speak authoritatively are considered braggarts and bullies. Different words, but same judgements; there’s a reason why news anchors are trained to speak with smooth, modulated, accent-less voices. So, it was good that the book wrapped up just after this section; I was ready, after not getting quite what I wanted, for the wintering to be over.
I really like the premise of ‘wintering’; the cyclical nature of life as it progresses on a linear timeline, like a waveform that moves forward, up, and down,
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but never back. I really liked her investigations of ways to bring the cyclical nature of the year back into focus in an urban environment, but found it fell short of its potential. Some of this she explains in her epilogue – that she’d planned to do a lot more travelling and interviewing, but that life got in the way. Still, I’d have liked to read more about different traditions, practices and observances that mark the wheel of the year.More than half of this book is memoir, and I think that I found that unsatisfying too – I occasionally enjoy a good memoir, but that’s not what I was here for, even though I knew going in what I was going to get. There were times when she used her memoir writing to really good effect, as a segue into research or coping strategies – these parts worked better for me than the times where she just wanders around contemplating. She almost had me considering cold water therapy with more than the usual snort of incredulity I normally give it, although my body is conditioned to react to any water temperature below 28C/82F as hypothermic, so it will take more than her personal successes to get me doing a polar bear dip.
I started to lose patience around about the time she started in about how women are conditioned to control their voices because they’re women and it’s all part of the grand plan to keep us under mens’ heel. While I don’t deny the imbalance, her logic fails, as she claims women who speak softly are considered mousy, but women who talk authoritatively are considered overbearing and brash. While this is true, it’s not a judgement confined solely to women: men who speak softly are thought weak and ineffectual, and men who speak authoritatively are considered braggarts and bullies. Different words, but same judgements; there’s a reason why news anchors are trained to speak with smooth, modulated, accent-less voices. So, it was good that the book wrapped up just after this section; I was ready, after not getting quite what I wanted, for the wintering to be over.
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LibraryThing member Tytania
Winter as a metaphor for hard times in your life.
"We like to imagine that it's possible for life to be one eternal summer & that we have uniquely failed to achieve that for ourselves." That's why I recommend the anti-gratitude journal.
Regarding someone with bouts of mania and depression, a GP
"Have we really got so far into the realm of electric light and central heating that the rhythm of the year is irrelevant to us..." That was me when I lived in the city. All I cared about was how heavy a jacket to wear. Or maybe it was because I was young. I have such a yearly rhythm now, though.
"Misery is not an option [sarcasm]. We must carry on looking jolly for the sake of the crowd." Ha. I always hated the mandate to be happy.
"We like to imagine that it's possible for life to be one eternal summer & that we have uniquely failed to achieve that for ourselves." That's why I recommend the anti-gratitude journal.
Regarding someone with bouts of mania and depression, a GP
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changed her life by saying, "This isn't about you getting better. This is about you living the best life you can with the parameters that you have." Isn't that what it's about for all of us?"Have we really got so far into the realm of electric light and central heating that the rhythm of the year is irrelevant to us..." That was me when I lived in the city. All I cared about was how heavy a jacket to wear. Or maybe it was because I was young. I have such a yearly rhythm now, though.
"Misery is not an option [sarcasm]. We must carry on looking jolly for the sake of the crowd." Ha. I always hated the mandate to be happy.
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