Status
Available
Call number
Genres
Publication
Penguin (2017), 240 pages
Description
Fiction. Literature. HTML:"An engrossing tale [that] provides plenty of food for thought" (People, Best New Books pick), this playful, wise, and profoundly moving second novel from the internationally bestselling author of How Proust Can Change Your Life tracks the beautifully complicated arc of a romantic partnership. We all know the headiness and excitement of the early days of love. But what comes after? In Edinburgh, a couple, Rabih and Kirsten, fall in love. They get married, they have children�??but no long-term relationship is as simple as "happily ever after." The Course of Love explores what happens after the birth of love, what it takes to maintain, and what happens to our original ideals under the pressures of an average existence. We see, along with Rabih and Kirsten, the first flush of infatuation, the effortlessness of falling into romantic love, and the course of life thereafter. Interwoven with their story and its challenges is an overlay of philosophy�??an annotation and a guide to what we are reading. As The New York Times says, "The Course of Love is a return to the form that made Mr. de Botton's name in the mid-1990s....love is the subject best suited to his obsessive aphorizing, and in this novel he again shows off his ability to pin our hopes, methods, and insecurities to the page." This is a Romantic novel in the true sense, one interested in exploring how love can survive and thrive in the long term. The result is a sensory experience�??fictional, philosophical, psychological�??that urges us to identify deeply with these characters and to reflect on his and her own experiences in love. Fresh, visceral, and utterly compelling, The Course of Love is a provocative and life-affirming novel for everyone who believes in love. "There's no writer alive like de Botton, and his latest ambitious undertaking is as enlightening and humanizing as his previous works" (Chicago T… (more)
User reviews
LibraryThing member LARA335
We seem to know far too much about how love starts, and be recklessly ignorant of how it continues. Alain kindly fills in the gaps.
Net Galley sent me this early copy. I am a subscriber of Alain De Botton's 'School of Life' and enjoy his sensible and good-humoured philosophies on life.
The Course of
An enlightening, amusing and reassuring read.
Net Galley sent me this early copy. I am a subscriber of Alain De Botton's 'School of Life' and enjoy his sensible and good-humoured philosophies on life.
The Course of
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Love carries on where most love stories end, ie after the wedding. As we follow the couple negotiating the mundanities of every day life, Alain - in helpful italics - explains the universal disappointments that inevitably follow the high ground of falling in love. Reassuring the reader that romantic perfection doesn't exist, and yes, life is full of dull trivialities like emptying the dishwasher and wiping jam off the coffee table.An enlightening, amusing and reassuring read.
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LibraryThing member Welsh_eileen2
This is my first Alain de Botton book and what a very telling one!
A story about two people who meet, then eventually fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Or not.
This is a tale of their married life and the ups and downs encountered along the way.
I was given a digital cover of this
A story about two people who meet, then eventually fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Or not.
This is a tale of their married life and the ups and downs encountered along the way.
I was given a digital cover of this
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book by the publisher Penguin Books U K via Netgalley in return for an honest unbiased review. Show Less
LibraryThing member Welsh_eileen2
This is my first Alain de Botton book and what a very telling one!
A story about two people who meet, eventually fall in love, get married and live happily ever after or not.
This is a tale of their married life and the ups and downs encountered along the way.
I was given a digital copy of this book
A story about two people who meet, eventually fall in love, get married and live happily ever after or not.
This is a tale of their married life and the ups and downs encountered along the way.
I was given a digital copy of this book
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by the publisher Penguin Books U K. via Netgalley in return for an honest unbiased review. Show Less
LibraryThing member pgchuis
A novel about how Rabih and Kirsten, meet, fall in love, marry, and have two children. Rabih sleeps with another woman at a conference, regrets it and never tells Kirsten, they go for counselling and remain married at the end of the story. This narrative thread is almost entirely from Rabih's point
I found the Rabih/Kirsten story interesting, although I didn't really identify with either of them. The characterization of their children was very well done, though. The other sections, the observations, were sometimes so spot on (e.g. on the topic of sulking) that it was spooky, but sometimes I just didn't agree with them. I've been married a good long time myself and, while I would agree with many of the comments on marriage, others were very pessimistic and miserable. Not all of our marriages are like Rabih and Kirsten's.
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of view, but there are, interspersed with the main narrative, observations by a seemingly impartial and apparently all-wise observer about love, sex, marriage, parenting etc.I found the Rabih/Kirsten story interesting, although I didn't really identify with either of them. The characterization of their children was very well done, though. The other sections, the observations, were sometimes so spot on (e.g. on the topic of sulking) that it was spooky, but sometimes I just didn't agree with them. I've been married a good long time myself and, while I would agree with many of the comments on marriage, others were very pessimistic and miserable. Not all of our marriages are like Rabih and Kirsten's.
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LibraryThing member vivaval
More like a case study than a novel. Lots of keen insights, but not an enjoyable read.
LibraryThing member Fotis.Mystakopoulos
A book worth reading.
It just makes you think about what happens next and what it takes to sustain a relationship over time.
There is an insight in there that hit home. Without revealing much it discusses at some when are we really ready to get married?
I would recommend it because it is a topic that
It just makes you think about what happens next and what it takes to sustain a relationship over time.
There is an insight in there that hit home. Without revealing much it discusses at some when are we really ready to get married?
I would recommend it because it is a topic that
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makes you think. Show Less
LibraryThing member heggiep
I am too far removed in age for the first parts of the book to register much more than a knowing nod. But as it progressed, it delivered more interesting insights for me.
LibraryThing member MarilynKinnon
A quickish romp through the lives of a typical modern couple ( meet, marriage, kids, affair, keep going) interspersed with 'theory and research' insights from psychology and philosophy pertinent to the actual episode we are reading. An interesting approach and often very pertinent.
LibraryThing member greeniezona
I am very easily charmed by Botton, okay? He's very charming. On Love was charming. The way he intersperses this story of a fictional marriage with philosophy and relationship advice is charming. And if I hadn't read Dept. of Speculation in between reading this book and reviewing it, this would
First! I really did adore this novel when I as reading it. I read it on vacation, mostly in the car, and ended up reading long sections aloud to my husband -- mostly the sections on parenting. I think it did give me some valuable insights on how couples behave in conflict, enough to be grateful that neither my husband nor I experienced any great crises in attachment as children, and to make me possibly even more invested in protecting my children from such disruptions.
But, I did read Dept. of Speculation, which made me so viscerally furious about the way our society deals with men having extramarital affairs that some was bound to spill over onto this book. And that spillover is messy and tangled. I'm not even sure that I would have wanted Rabih to do anything differently -- to tell his wife or to leave her. In fact, as I was reading, I was a little irritated at how easily Botton seemed to take monogamy as the only possible natural state for couples.
I am going to try to let it go now.
Really, this was lovely and thoughtful and realistic and charming.
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probably be a very different review.First! I really did adore this novel when I as reading it. I read it on vacation, mostly in the car, and ended up reading long sections aloud to my husband -- mostly the sections on parenting. I think it did give me some valuable insights on how couples behave in conflict, enough to be grateful that neither my husband nor I experienced any great crises in attachment as children, and to make me possibly even more invested in protecting my children from such disruptions.
I am going to try to let it go now.
Really, this was lovely and thoughtful and realistic and charming.
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LibraryThing member heike6
This is a title I wanted to read because I've heard the author speak in the media over the years and always found him insightful. He did not disappoint. The book switches between the story and the author's thoughts on the particular topic, which is unusual, but it is also what makes it fiction as
I am going to take advantage of the fact that this was not an advance reader copy by leaving some quotes I particularly liked:
We would ideally remain able to laugh, in the gentlest way, when we are made the special target of a sulker's fury. We would recognize the touching paradox. The sulker may be six foot one and holding down adult employment, but the real message is poignantly retrogressive: "Deep inside, I remain an infant, and right now I need you to be my parent. I need you correctly to guess what is truly ailing me, as people did when I was a baby, when my ideas of love were first formed."
Choosing a person to marry is hence just a matter of deciding exactly what kind of suffering we want to endure rather than of assuming we have found a way to skirt the rules of emotional existence.
Regarding blame and disappointments in life:
The accusations we make of our lovers make no particular sense. We would utter such unfair things to no one else on earth. But our wild charges are a peculiar proof of intimacy and trust, a symptom of love itself- and in their own way a perverted manifestation of commitment. Whereas we can say something sensible and polite to any stranger, it is only in the presence of the lover we wholeheartedly believe in that we can dare to be extravagantly and boundlessly unreasonable.
Speaking of teaching lessons to children:
The dream is to save the child time; to pass on in one go insights that required arduous and lengthy experience to accumulate. But the progress of the human race is at every turn stymied by an ingrained resistance to being rushed to conclusions. We are held back by an inherent interest in reexploring entire chapters in the back catalogue of our species' idiocies- and to wasting a good part of life finding out for ourselves what has already been extensively and painfully charted by others.
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opposed to just essays. Which was smart because I wouldn't have read a book of essays. I am going to take advantage of the fact that this was not an advance reader copy by leaving some quotes I particularly liked:
We would ideally remain able to laugh, in the gentlest way, when we are made the special target of a sulker's fury. We would recognize the touching paradox. The sulker may be six foot one and holding down adult employment, but the real message is poignantly retrogressive: "Deep inside, I remain an infant, and right now I need you to be my parent. I need you correctly to guess what is truly ailing me, as people did when I was a baby, when my ideas of love were first formed."
Choosing a person to marry is hence just a matter of deciding exactly what kind of suffering we want to endure rather than of assuming we have found a way to skirt the rules of emotional existence.
Regarding blame and disappointments in life:
The accusations we make of our lovers make no particular sense. We would utter such unfair things to no one else on earth. But our wild charges are a peculiar proof of intimacy and trust, a symptom of love itself- and in their own way a perverted manifestation of commitment. Whereas we can say something sensible and polite to any stranger, it is only in the presence of the lover we wholeheartedly believe in that we can dare to be extravagantly and boundlessly unreasonable.
Speaking of teaching lessons to children:
The dream is to save the child time; to pass on in one go insights that required arduous and lengthy experience to accumulate. But the progress of the human race is at every turn stymied by an ingrained resistance to being rushed to conclusions. We are held back by an inherent interest in reexploring entire chapters in the back catalogue of our species' idiocies- and to wasting a good part of life finding out for ourselves what has already been extensively and painfully charted by others.
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LibraryThing member flydodofly
I was thinking: if Alain de Botton really manages to live the way he writes (or comments on the couple/family in the book) than he must be one of the most desirable partners on earth. His understanding of needs people have, combined with his ability to write it down in such a charming way, while
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sometimes pointing out the most uncomfortable truths - that is a rare gift. Show Less
LibraryThing member Cail_Judy
This was the book I needed right now. I read Botton's first novel in 2009 —Essays In Love—and it was insightful, calling out issues that arose in my own relationship at the time. The novel had challenges with pacing and the protagonist was a bit too...fancy-pants for me. Regardless of that,
In his return to the novel, Botton provides a stunning, insightful (and useful) look at the course of a marriage over twenty-plus years. It opened my eyes to considering different paths about how one approaches a relationship, and what is underneath the actions of another. Attachment theory, for example, is discussed near the end of the book when the fictional couple goes to counselling. Botton's insights and explanations shined a new light on the fictional couple and in turn, my own romantic relationship.
It doesn't portray perfect people - it provides a look at a better way to be. If we were a little more aware, a bit kinder and knew ourselves more, we can accept and allow our own relationships to flourish for what they are, not what we want the other person to be. It's given me a lot to think about.
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Botton's philosophic look at a modern relationship was very helpful and unlike much else I'd read at the time. I've kept an eye on his work since. In his return to the novel, Botton provides a stunning, insightful (and useful) look at the course of a marriage over twenty-plus years. It opened my eyes to considering different paths about how one approaches a relationship, and what is underneath the actions of another. Attachment theory, for example, is discussed near the end of the book when the fictional couple goes to counselling. Botton's insights and explanations shined a new light on the fictional couple and in turn, my own romantic relationship.
It doesn't portray perfect people - it provides a look at a better way to be. If we were a little more aware, a bit kinder and knew ourselves more, we can accept and allow our own relationships to flourish for what they are, not what we want the other person to be. It's given me a lot to think about.
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LibraryThing member cygnoir
I was hoping for a novel, but this is a philosophical treatise interspersed with tedious descriptors of a hypothetical relationship. I couldn't make it past the first 30 pages.
LibraryThing member LynnB
This is the story of the evolution of a twenty-odd year marriage....from the first meeting of the couple until well into their parenting years. Interspersed with the story are short asides about the author's own feelings on love and behaviour in relationships. I found this disrupted the flow of the
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story. And the story wasn't gripping. While I agree with so many other reviewers that the writing was beautiful and the author did provide some food for thought, overall this was just a so-so read for me. Show Less
LibraryThing member mindatlarge
One of the best, if not the best, books I've read on relationships.
LibraryThing member Castlelass
Rabih and Kirsten, a couple living in Scotland, fall in love, marry, and have children. The storyline follows the ups and downs of married life. The novel is a unique mix of story, philosophy, and psychology. The narrator alternates between what is currently happening in the lives of the couple and
The writing is lively, full of insightful observations and witty asides. The tone is optimistic. The author points out that love is not something that “just happens.” It requires active commitment to sustain it. He points out underlying causes behind disagreements, many of which have to do with worldview or events that occurred long ago. It is profound in places. Though it is a novel, it could, perhaps, help people with their own relationships. I found it delightfully engaging.
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commentary about this stage in their relationship. The latter is indicated in italics. The narrator challenges romantic idealism, and the story portrays how a deeper knowledge of human behavior (and more realistic expectations) can help relationships flourish. The writing is lively, full of insightful observations and witty asides. The tone is optimistic. The author points out that love is not something that “just happens.” It requires active commitment to sustain it. He points out underlying causes behind disagreements, many of which have to do with worldview or events that occurred long ago. It is profound in places. Though it is a novel, it could, perhaps, help people with their own relationships. I found it delightfully engaging.
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LibraryThing member kropferama
Thoughts about love and marriage illustrated by the story of Rabih and Kirsten. De Bottom covers the flash of romance to the work of marriage, children, infidelity and therapy. His main message that love is not an enthusiasm but a skill. Insightful as far a it goes. Told through the eyes of Rabih,
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it ends some 15 years into marriage. Show Less
Language
Original language
English
Original publication date
2016
Physical description
5.08 inches
ISBN
0241962137 / 9780241962138