Call number
Collection
Publication
New York : Hyperion, c2004.
Pages
295
Description
In a collection of irreverent humor, the author presents his observations and opinions on the foibles and follies of modern life, taking on such topics as the media, the battle of the sexes, hygiene, evasive language, and politics.
Awards
Audie Award (Finalist — Humor — 2005)
Language
Original publication date
2004
2005-10-19
Physical description
295 p.; 21 cm
ISBN
1401301347 / 9781401301347
Similar in this library
User reviews
LibraryThing member edwin2garcia-esq
I own both the hardcover and the audiobook. My reaction is different depending on the format. There are two things to consider here, the: humor and writing. As to the humor, this is a subjective experience for every reader. With the exception of a one liner regarding a musical Christmas vibrator
It wasn’t until I recently acquired the audiobook that the material impressed me for its humor quality. Material such as Ninety-Nine Things You Need To Know (p. 37) was more enjoyable as heard from the audiobook. It had more punch coming through Carlin’s voice.
This is not a joke book, where you have a setup and punch line. Carlin’s type of humor is not for everyone. It is irreverent, anti-establishment, absurdist; and at times, even twisted – Tips For Serial Killers (pp. 66-68). Containing profanity and sexually explicit material, the book is not for children and possible some immature adolescents. This is for adults who aren’t offended easily.
The topics are wide ranging and include: the belief in God vs. UFOs – They Came From Out Of The Sky (p. 12); unrestrained barbs against the handicap, the young and the elderly, Liberals, Conservatives, religion, etc. In going after political correctness, he summarizes the problem succinctly: . . . Political correctness cripples discourse; creates ugly language and is generally stupid (p. 72). His irreverent take on religion is thought provoking, but may put off some readers. And yet, you can’t deny the inventiveness in reducing the Judeo-Christian Ten Commandments to two – The Two Commandments (p. 14). One of his longest treatments is on the misuse of language by politicians – Politician Talk (pp. 77-84).
In what mirrors his unconventional humor, the book is presented without a Table of Contents, Chapters or an Index. Additionally, there are no numbers next to each entry, as I have seen in joke books. There are only two recurring sections scattered throughout the book: essays on Euphemisms (11 sections); and Bit and Pieces (5 sections) – the latter consisting of short one or two line observations. The book is a basket full of material, in no particular order. Thus, the book is disjointed by its nature. There is no narrative coherence, nor would there be for a collection such as this. The upside is that you can read the book in small chunks and not be lost, if there are long intervals between your reading. There is a wealth of ideas present; so much so that, it demands repeat readings.
And yet, despite the disjointed nature of the book, I felt repeated admiration for Carlin as a creative writer – a fountain of inspiration; very erudite; and with a talent for constructing phrases into irreverent observations. He is not only a wordsmith, but a linguistic historian – e.g., see the piece Shell Shock To PTSD (pp. 39-40). His understanding of “language” would rival that of any college professor, who specializes in linguistics. In part, his understanding is through an exploration of the evolution of language through a look at Euphemisms. Moreover, his cataloguing of Euphemisms is extensive and, at times overwhelming. As stated above, eleven sections are devoted to Euphemisms. There are different kinds of humor: physical (pratfalls); voice impressions (of other people); observational (on common, everyday things). With Carlin, the humor stems from an examination of the development of language, and the use or misuse of “words.”
In conveying his humor and absurdist observations, he employs an exhaustive variety of writing forms or literary compositions. The book contains a collection of: poems; advertisements for silly products; observations on euphemisms; essays; letters; dialogues; short conversations; public service announcements; boxing ring announcements; commercials; telephone conversations; TV promos, etc. His news report on The Death of Humpty Dumpty (pp.199-204) is a brilliant piece of writing.
Although the purpose of this book is to entertain by making the reader laugh, its chief value is as a sampler of creative writing. With its wealth of writing formats/forms, this could serve as the textbook for a college course on creative writing.
This is the 3rd of Carlin’s published books. It reveals that he wasn’t just a comic who could deliver words in a comedic manner, but that he was an inventive writer and deep thinker. I will be revisiting this book repeatedly.
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(p. 17), I did not laugh out loud. Instead, my reactions were a mix of mild grins and slight chuckles. For me, the humor was mild when read. My introduction to When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? was with the printed book. I was fortunate to have seen Carlin in person. And, I saw most of his cable TV specials. As I read the printed page, I tried to imagine his voice in my head and possible delivery of the material – voice inflections, pregnant pauses, dead-pan expressions, raised eyebrows, and other facial movements.It wasn’t until I recently acquired the audiobook that the material impressed me for its humor quality. Material such as Ninety-Nine Things You Need To Know (p. 37) was more enjoyable as heard from the audiobook. It had more punch coming through Carlin’s voice.
This is not a joke book, where you have a setup and punch line. Carlin’s type of humor is not for everyone. It is irreverent, anti-establishment, absurdist; and at times, even twisted – Tips For Serial Killers (pp. 66-68). Containing profanity and sexually explicit material, the book is not for children and possible some immature adolescents. This is for adults who aren’t offended easily.
The topics are wide ranging and include: the belief in God vs. UFOs – They Came From Out Of The Sky (p. 12); unrestrained barbs against the handicap, the young and the elderly, Liberals, Conservatives, religion, etc. In going after political correctness, he summarizes the problem succinctly: . . . Political correctness cripples discourse; creates ugly language and is generally stupid (p. 72). His irreverent take on religion is thought provoking, but may put off some readers. And yet, you can’t deny the inventiveness in reducing the Judeo-Christian Ten Commandments to two – The Two Commandments (p. 14). One of his longest treatments is on the misuse of language by politicians – Politician Talk (pp. 77-84).
In what mirrors his unconventional humor, the book is presented without a Table of Contents, Chapters or an Index. Additionally, there are no numbers next to each entry, as I have seen in joke books. There are only two recurring sections scattered throughout the book: essays on Euphemisms (11 sections); and Bit and Pieces (5 sections) – the latter consisting of short one or two line observations. The book is a basket full of material, in no particular order. Thus, the book is disjointed by its nature. There is no narrative coherence, nor would there be for a collection such as this. The upside is that you can read the book in small chunks and not be lost, if there are long intervals between your reading. There is a wealth of ideas present; so much so that, it demands repeat readings.
And yet, despite the disjointed nature of the book, I felt repeated admiration for Carlin as a creative writer – a fountain of inspiration; very erudite; and with a talent for constructing phrases into irreverent observations. He is not only a wordsmith, but a linguistic historian – e.g., see the piece Shell Shock To PTSD (pp. 39-40). His understanding of “language” would rival that of any college professor, who specializes in linguistics. In part, his understanding is through an exploration of the evolution of language through a look at Euphemisms. Moreover, his cataloguing of Euphemisms is extensive and, at times overwhelming. As stated above, eleven sections are devoted to Euphemisms. There are different kinds of humor: physical (pratfalls); voice impressions (of other people); observational (on common, everyday things). With Carlin, the humor stems from an examination of the development of language, and the use or misuse of “words.”
In conveying his humor and absurdist observations, he employs an exhaustive variety of writing forms or literary compositions. The book contains a collection of: poems; advertisements for silly products; observations on euphemisms; essays; letters; dialogues; short conversations; public service announcements; boxing ring announcements; commercials; telephone conversations; TV promos, etc. His news report on The Death of Humpty Dumpty (pp.199-204) is a brilliant piece of writing.
Although the purpose of this book is to entertain by making the reader laugh, its chief value is as a sampler of creative writing. With its wealth of writing formats/forms, this could serve as the textbook for a college course on creative writing.
This is the 3rd of Carlin’s published books. It reveals that he wasn’t just a comic who could deliver words in a comedic manner, but that he was an inventive writer and deep thinker. I will be revisiting this book repeatedly.
Show Less
LibraryThing member comfypants
Brain Droppings was one of my favorite books. Napalm and Silly Putty wasn't as good, but it was still funny. This was complete crap. There are maybe 50 (of 300) pages worth of funny things. Most of the book is taken up by an extended rant on one or two subjects, repeating the same point/observation
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over and over and over and over... Show Less
LibraryThing member NateJordon
If cultural criticism and picking apart language with an eye for the absurd and brandishing a double-edged tongue is your thing, then you'll love this book. It's Carlin, what else can one say? His stage is now the page, and boy, does he deliver. Here's a an excerpt about business I particularly
"The Wall Street Journal reminds you that your job as a businessman is to fuck the other guy before he fucks you. Sometimes you have to do such a complete job of fucking the other guy that he stays fucked for a long time, even to the point of going out of business and losing everything he owns. Quite often, the difference between getting fucked and being the one who does the fucking can be one small piece of business information, such as they’re not making steam locomotives anymore, or the zeppelin travel market has begun to decline. Those two important business facts appeared recently in the Wall Street Journal. If you’re a reptilian lowlife on your way up, stop getting fucked and start doing the fucking. Read the Wall Street Journal."
And here's one about euphemisms:
"There are several reasons why we seem to employ so much euphemistic language: the need to avoid unpleasant realities; the need to make things sound more important than they really are; marketing demands; pretentiousness; boosting employee self-esteem; and, in some cases, just plain, old political correctness.
But no matter their purpose, the one thing euphemisms all have in common is that they soften the language. They portray reality as less vivid. And I’ve noticed Americans have a problem with reality; they prefer to avoid the truth and not look it in the eye. I think it’s one of the consequences of being fat and prosperous and too comfortable. So, naturally, as time has passed, and we’ve grown fatter and more prosperous, the problem has gotten worse. Here’s a good example:
There’s a condition in combat—most people know it by now. It occurs when a soldier’s nervous system has reached the breaking point. In World War I, it was called shell shock. Simple, honest, direct language. Two syllables. Shell shock. Almost sounds like the guns themselves. Shell shock!
That was 1917. A generation passed. Then, during the Second World War, the very same combat condition was called battle fatigue. Four syllables now. It takes longer to say, stretches it out. The words don’t seem to hurt as much. And fatigue is a softer word than shock. Shell shock. Battle fatigue. The condition was being euphemized.
More time passed and we got to Korea, 1950. By that time, Madison Avenue had learned well how to manipulate the language, and the same condition became operational exhaustion. It had been stretched out to eight syllables. it took longer to say, so the impact was reduced, and the humanity was completely squeezed out of the term. It was now absolutely sterile: operational exhaustion. It sounded like something that might happen to your car.
And then, finally, we got to Vietnam. Given the dishonesty surrounding that war, I guess it’s not surprising that, at the time, the very same condition was renamed post-traumatic stress disorder. It was still eight syllables, but a hyphen had been added, and, at last, the pain had been completely buried under psycho-jargon. Post-traumatic stress disorder.
I’d be willing to bet anything that if we’d still been calling shell shock, some of those Vietnam veterans might have received the attention they needed, at the time they needed it. But it didn’t happen, and I’m convinced one of the reasons was that softer language we now prefer: The New Language. The language that takes the life out of life."
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found entertaining:"The Wall Street Journal reminds you that your job as a businessman is to fuck the other guy before he fucks you. Sometimes you have to do such a complete job of fucking the other guy that he stays fucked for a long time, even to the point of going out of business and losing everything he owns. Quite often, the difference between getting fucked and being the one who does the fucking can be one small piece of business information, such as they’re not making steam locomotives anymore, or the zeppelin travel market has begun to decline. Those two important business facts appeared recently in the Wall Street Journal. If you’re a reptilian lowlife on your way up, stop getting fucked and start doing the fucking. Read the Wall Street Journal."
And here's one about euphemisms:
"There are several reasons why we seem to employ so much euphemistic language: the need to avoid unpleasant realities; the need to make things sound more important than they really are; marketing demands; pretentiousness; boosting employee self-esteem; and, in some cases, just plain, old political correctness.
But no matter their purpose, the one thing euphemisms all have in common is that they soften the language. They portray reality as less vivid. And I’ve noticed Americans have a problem with reality; they prefer to avoid the truth and not look it in the eye. I think it’s one of the consequences of being fat and prosperous and too comfortable. So, naturally, as time has passed, and we’ve grown fatter and more prosperous, the problem has gotten worse. Here’s a good example:
There’s a condition in combat—most people know it by now. It occurs when a soldier’s nervous system has reached the breaking point. In World War I, it was called shell shock. Simple, honest, direct language. Two syllables. Shell shock. Almost sounds like the guns themselves. Shell shock!
That was 1917. A generation passed. Then, during the Second World War, the very same combat condition was called battle fatigue. Four syllables now. It takes longer to say, stretches it out. The words don’t seem to hurt as much. And fatigue is a softer word than shock. Shell shock. Battle fatigue. The condition was being euphemized.
More time passed and we got to Korea, 1950. By that time, Madison Avenue had learned well how to manipulate the language, and the same condition became operational exhaustion. It had been stretched out to eight syllables. it took longer to say, so the impact was reduced, and the humanity was completely squeezed out of the term. It was now absolutely sterile: operational exhaustion. It sounded like something that might happen to your car.
And then, finally, we got to Vietnam. Given the dishonesty surrounding that war, I guess it’s not surprising that, at the time, the very same condition was renamed post-traumatic stress disorder. It was still eight syllables, but a hyphen had been added, and, at last, the pain had been completely buried under psycho-jargon. Post-traumatic stress disorder.
I’d be willing to bet anything that if we’d still been calling shell shock, some of those Vietnam veterans might have received the attention they needed, at the time they needed it. But it didn’t happen, and I’m convinced one of the reasons was that softer language we now prefer: The New Language. The language that takes the life out of life."
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LibraryThing member lchs.mrso
George Carlin’s When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops is an exceptionally humorous book for the open-minded person. It consists of a compilation of some of Carlin’s better known comedy routines and some new material. Covering topics from religion and politics to how people speak the American
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language, Carlin’s radical views become apparent in his amusing satire. Carlin’s droll, extremely funny writing makes very evident his annoyance at one topic most discussed in this book: the increased amount of euphemisms that are employed in the English language. Carlin is unafraid to make known his controversial opinions on religion, politics, and everyday life, criticizing everyone equally. The title and front cover design are two examples of this; the jacket design is a picture of the Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci, but with a twist: the addition of Carlin holding a fork and knife impatiently awaiting the arrival of “Pork Chops.” Despite this bitterness, Carlin presents a funny, witty classic; a must-read for the freethinking reader. Show Less
LibraryThing member yeremenko
This isn't his best, but he was the best.
I am shocked and disappointed by what passes for stand-up humor these days. George Carlin's ghost has pieces of guys like Dane Cook in its stool.
Some of this book isn't that great but there is enough of the classic, incomparable Carlin to make it 5 stars.
I am shocked and disappointed by what passes for stand-up humor these days. George Carlin's ghost has pieces of guys like Dane Cook in its stool.
Some of this book isn't that great but there is enough of the classic, incomparable Carlin to make it 5 stars.
LibraryThing member invisiblelizard
Shortly after Carlin's death in 2008, I saw this book on the bargain shelf in the bookstore and picked it up out of pure sentiment to the memory of a once-great comedian who still entertained me in his twilight years, even though the edge seemed to have gone. Reading this book, I get more of the
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same: a warm feeling for a guy who made me laugh for decades, but nothing to lead me to believe he had new ground to cover. Some of this material I recognize from bits he'd done on late night talk shows and his stand-up routines. Other bits reminded me of things I'd read from him in the past. (Hasn't he done "euphemisms" to death already? Pardon the pun.) So it's with a heavy heart that I bid him farewell, and that same heart gives me the smile I have on my face as I flip back through this book now. It's an adequate book-end to a life spent dissecting the English language, but the real joy came a ways back in the stack (if you follow my metaphor). Show Less
LibraryThing member jimmaclachlan
Of the three books of his I've listened to, this one was the best & pretty much encompassed the other two. His humor sometimes goes over the edge into peevishness. Other times I disagree so completely that his rant becomes a sad statement, but for the most part I liked & agreed with his sentiments.
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He truly had a great way of looking at our world. Show Less
LibraryThing member DMCrimson
When a comedian's act is transcribed on the page, it loses the diction and energy that makes up much of the performance. This book is a perfect example of such. Watch one of his comedy specials, not his books. Words alone don't give it justice.
LibraryThing member kaelirenee
George Carlin, only written. This comedian is a prolific jokester who writes down everything, catalogs it, and establishes just when to say something in his act. He is very thought-out in his routines, and it shows in his books.
Funny, though little original from his stand-up routines. Of course,
Funny, though little original from his stand-up routines. Of course,
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full of profanities, obnoxious jokes, wondering about language, and generally continuing on in the vein of "7 things you can't say on television." Show Less
LibraryThing member bibliophile26
Decent hilarious comedy. No reference to the title which was disappointing.
LibraryThing member Djupstrom
Funny, but not laugh-out-loud funny. I love George Carlin, but this was just alright.
LibraryThing member Joles
If you enjoy George Carlin you will enjoy this book. If you are easily offended or don't understand his belittling humor this probably isn't the book for you. In a live performance of his he said he really enjoyed the title because it offends three major groups because of the use of Jesus and Pork
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Chops all in the same title. This book is just as witty as his others. Show Less
LibraryThing member CarolO
Parts of this book are incredibly funny, other parts seem to cross the line into just angry...but I can't help but think if I could just hear and see him reading it then it would all be funny...that it is just missing his timing and emphasis and those expressions. RIP George Carlin.
LibraryThing member 06nwingert
I read this in 2008 after Carlin passed away. While reading, I remembered a television show, Thomas the Tank Engine, from my childhood, in which Carlin starred. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops is Carlin's humorous and satirical take on religion, politics, and life in general.
LibraryThing member AlexTheHunn
If you're already of fan of Carlin's, you'll love this book. If you do not like him, this work is not for you. To the undecided, his range of clever observations just may win you over. Carling never shies away from the outrageous, offensive or contraversial.
LibraryThing member Brandie
Half the book was okay ... some of that was even funny. I did laugh while reading it. However, some of it was not funny - it was tacky or stupid or I thought something that was just bad taste. And I obviously do not share some of his views, which was a turn off.
LibraryThing member wdwilson3
At his best, George Carlin was a comic genius, a politically incorrect slayer of sacred cows, a man who made us laugh at ourselves and sometimes even offered us new insights. At his worst, he was a foul-mouthed misogynistic pervert. You get equal helpings of the best and the worst in this
Anyone who’s seen Carlin perform or has read his past volumes know that he was a keen observer of language use, exploring our euphemisms to show how we’ve become increasingly politically correct (or tactful, depending on your point of view). Carlin saw most of this as mealy-mouthed, and he may have had a point. But there is simply too much in this volume that just goes on and on about how our language has changed, and I yelled “Enough!” more than once. Just because it’s true doesn’t make it interesting, or funny.
There are high points, too, at least for those of us that love comedy of the absurd. I laughed out loud to some of his surrealistic descriptions of his uncles. And “A Modern Man” and “The Two Commandments” are classics from his standup routine.
It’s a mixed bag, fun to dip into when you need a laugh.
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collection, plus a bunch of stuff that, dare I say it, is pretty boring. It is, after all, a collection of short observations similar to his standup performance. I got the distinct feeling that material was thin at this point in his life.Anyone who’s seen Carlin perform or has read his past volumes know that he was a keen observer of language use, exploring our euphemisms to show how we’ve become increasingly politically correct (or tactful, depending on your point of view). Carlin saw most of this as mealy-mouthed, and he may have had a point. But there is simply too much in this volume that just goes on and on about how our language has changed, and I yelled “Enough!” more than once. Just because it’s true doesn’t make it interesting, or funny.
There are high points, too, at least for those of us that love comedy of the absurd. I laughed out loud to some of his surrealistic descriptions of his uncles. And “A Modern Man” and “The Two Commandments” are classics from his standup routine.
It’s a mixed bag, fun to dip into when you need a laugh.
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LibraryThing member ragwaine
This was good if a bit repetitious. I LOVE George Carlin but it seems that for his stand up he used all his best material and this book has some of his not-so-best material. He can be pretty brutal and but I think most people were drawn to his "realness".
I guess the worse part is that Carlin's
I guess the worse part is that Carlin's
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thing is complaining about things and so reading an entire book of complaints about how messed up the world is and all the bad things that happen can be a downer. I had a similar experience with the Frank Zappa book. I totally subscribe to the "if you're not pissed off then you're not paying attention" ideology but it's best in smaller doses. Show Less
LibraryThing member regularguy5mb
It's fitting that the title of this book involves food and dining, because I feel like it also could have been called "Leftovers." Of course, being Carlin, there's some great stuff found in this book, but most of it doesn't feel like the "prime cuts." This book feels like the material that was left
Now, one of the things that Carlin has always excelled at is his way with words, and his writings on euphemisms and information in his "Bits & Pieces" sections show that he is still the best. This book is also filled with some very funny ideas for sketches such as a news report on Humpty Dumpty's great fall and some of the strangest conversations ever conceived.
All in all, definitely a fun read. I'd recommend it if you're a fan of Carlin's humor, or are interested in finding out what the guy was all about, especially in his last few years. He was a great talent and is deeply missed.
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after Carlin's other books were done.Now, one of the things that Carlin has always excelled at is his way with words, and his writings on euphemisms and information in his "Bits & Pieces" sections show that he is still the best. This book is also filled with some very funny ideas for sketches such as a news report on Humpty Dumpty's great fall and some of the strangest conversations ever conceived.
All in all, definitely a fun read. I'd recommend it if you're a fan of Carlin's humor, or are interested in finding out what the guy was all about, especially in his last few years. He was a great talent and is deeply missed.
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LibraryThing member steven.skytower
I feel the same way i do about this book as i did for Napalm and silly putty Which is a Carlin show in paper format. However i do like that the book starts with his modern man monologue.
LibraryThing member andycyca
Although Carlin was a great comedian, this book (as a whole) is not. Carlin's remarks on language are smart, interesting and to the point, much like his stand up. But in between those chapters there are many filler pages, some with funny comments, some with dull ideas. Mostly dull ones.
I believe
I believe
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this book would be a lot better as a shorter set of chapters dealing only with euphemisms, use of language in some circumstances and "my ideas on stuff". The book is a lot slower because of this fluff, which is completely different from Carlin's actual performances. Show Less
LibraryThing member Ken-Me-Old-Mate
I remember some lame TV series on late at night that starred George Carlin so it with a pleasant surprise that I found his books really funny.
Maybe not to everyone’s taste but he certainly never shied away from saying it like it is.
Both funny, poignant and perceptive.
One of the ones I remember is
—————– from Napalm and Silly Putty ——————–
Recently I came across a statistic published by the Population Reference Bureau in Washington. It stated that as of 1995 the number of people who had lived on earth was 105,472,380,169. The figure was based on the assumption that “the first two people” had emerged in 50,000 B.C. So I did a little arithmetic of my own, and I’ve concluded that as of 1995 there had been over 987 trillion bowel movements. I was very conservative: I assumed a mere thirty-year life span and only six bowel movements per week. Still, it means that at this point there have been almost 1 quadrillion human bowel movements and most of them occurred before people had anything to read. These are the kinds of thoughts that kept me from moving quickly up the corporate ladder.
——————————————————————-
Everyone should have one of his books in the toilet.
Maybe not to everyone’s taste but he certainly never shied away from saying it like it is.
Both funny, poignant and perceptive.
One of the ones I remember is
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“there are no homeless people in America, only houseless people”—————– from Napalm and Silly Putty ——————–
Recently I came across a statistic published by the Population Reference Bureau in Washington. It stated that as of 1995 the number of people who had lived on earth was 105,472,380,169. The figure was based on the assumption that “the first two people” had emerged in 50,000 B.C. So I did a little arithmetic of my own, and I’ve concluded that as of 1995 there had been over 987 trillion bowel movements. I was very conservative: I assumed a mere thirty-year life span and only six bowel movements per week. Still, it means that at this point there have been almost 1 quadrillion human bowel movements and most of them occurred before people had anything to read. These are the kinds of thoughts that kept me from moving quickly up the corporate ladder.
——————————————————————-
Everyone should have one of his books in the toilet.
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LibraryThing member sublunarie
As a life-long Carlin fan, this one did not impress me.
LibraryThing member cziering
George Carlin's comedy is generally witty, subversive, intelligent and often linguistic! Unfortunately it's not always :( This book was off to a strong start (or I was just more into), but was only intermittently funny in the second half or so.