Hold still

A sad, yet hopeful novel. Caitlin's struggle to get over her friend's death, and find herself in the process, is captivating. I really enjoyed LaCour's use of Ingrid's journal and Caitlin's new romance to help propel the story forward.

Caitlin Madison is in mourning. Her pretty much only and best friend, Ingrid, committed suicide just before the end of sophomore year. Caitlin can’t grasp that Ingrid is gone. She’s certain that, as a best friend, she should have seen the signs and done something about it. Worst thing is that,

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somehow, Ingrid slipped her diary under Caitlin’s bed before her final act. Caitlin is afraid to read it, fearing she’ll find the suicide note that Ingrid’s parents never found.

Caitlin and her mother spend the summer traveling in Northern California. And then it’s back to school. The first shock is how Ms. Delani, their photography teacher and their favorite teacher, is ignoring Caitlin. Ingrid was a superior photographer and Caitlin felt like a sidekick, but even so, she expected more from Ms. Delani. Caitlin spends a lot of her spare time in the back seat of her car, the one she can’t drive because she never got her license. She spends a lot of time avoiding other students because (a) they were not really her friends and (b) she doesn’t want to talk about Ingrid.

But several things happen that she must face. She’s befriended by a new girl at school, Dylan, who rumor has it is a lesbian and was kicked out of her previous school because she got caught kissing a girl. She’s also befriended by Taylor, a boy in the in-crowd. Can these two events bring Caitlin out of her depression?

Nina LaCour’s Hold Still is a wonderful book. It is on a par with The Hate List by Jennifer Brown and Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher although it tackles suicide from a different perspective…one girl’s struggle to cope with the emotions resulting from the suicide of a best friend. Caitlin must battle everything: her parents’ concern, the expectations and requirements of a new friendship with Dylan and the fear that it will diminish her friendship with Ingrid, the possibility of a boyfriend, the disappointment of a teacher’s reaction to her.

Every character is real. Every emotion is real. Ingrid comes alive (no pun intended) based on Caitlin’s reminiscences. Incorporating photography into the plot enhances the story’s effectiveness. According to my friend Helen, Ms. LaCour, who is her son’s English teacher in California, “…is nice as can be. She's working on a new novel right now.” It’s good to know that a gifted author is nice and that a new novel is in the works.

You should read Hold Still. Then read The Hate List and Thirteen Reasons Why.

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With its fantastic imagery and emotional writing, Hold Still pulls the reader immediately into the fascinating story of Caitlin, whose best friend Ingrid has just committed suicide. I was scared that the book was going to be too similar to Jay Asher's Thirteen Reasons Why, with a character

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committing suicide and leaving behind some form of communication, but the two were very different. Hannah had a story to tell in Thirteen Reasons Why, whereas it seems as if Ingrid's story has been told, no big secrets to reveal, just a gaping hole left behind, and having to cope with that. The journal is there, but it's its existence rather than the contents that are relied upon as plot material. The story is fully engrossing with its realism, truly being everything one could want out of realistic fiction. In some respects, I suppose the book is a bit predictable in its overarching plot, but is still an engaging read. I'm still not sure if I liked some of the supporting characters. I realize that they were supposed to be signs of Caitlin moving on, but I wished the book focused more on the relationship between Ingrid and Caitlin before bringing new people into it. However, all the characters were molded and characterized really well, so you come to love all of them, even Ingrid who doesn't even exist within the time frame of the book. The ending is perfect, and leaves the reader with much to think about, probably with more than a few tears along the way.

Rating: 4.5/5

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I first heard about Hold Still by Nina LaCour when my friend A.A. showed me a link for the trailer and the moment I saw it I knew I had to read it. There was just something about the voice of the narrator that drew me in. I think that she fully captured the essence of Ingrid, it was a haunting

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voice filled with sadness. Then with the addition of the music....well....it tore at my heartstrings. When I obtained my own copy of the book I tore through it. Lost in the words and the world that LaCour created. Caitlin is such an amazing character as she deals through her grief and tries to come to grips with Ingrid's suicide. For as long as Caitlin could remember it was always her and Ingrid a dynamic duo. Now without Ingrid to lead the way Caitlin has to learn who she is all over again.

Its hard to believe that Hold Still is LaCour's first novel for her words are filled with such amazing imagery and grace. There are no big bangs or over the top thrills but when you read this book you are taken on a wonderful journey. Of all the ways that a person can die suicide has got to be one of the hardest to understand. And while LaCour doesn't pretend to hold all the answers she deals with this difficult subject in heartfelt way. I was blown away by this book and LaCour has earned her way onto my Authors to Watch list because I don't want to miss what she comes up with next.

As originally posted on my blog Ticket to Anywhere

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What I thought...is it one of the most emotional, realistic books, I have ever read. Nina Lacour is one of those authors who takes something really realistic and takes that situation and twists it outside the box, and shows the reader another point of view that we don't really see when thinking of

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that problem. For example is shows loss, change, and a new beginning. It shows people that life might really suck, but not always and to stick it out.
The story is beautifully written, it shows both Ingrid's and Caitlin personalities through artwork that the book has, and is very affective. It also has Ingrid's journal entries. I promise that this is a tearjerker. An interesting thing that I noticed about the book is the first part (while Caitlin is suffering with depression and loss) is really slow, but once Caitlin begins to make lots of new friendships and is more happier the book goes faster. Which makes it more impacting because usually when you lose someone (according to my mother) your whole life seems to go slower. Another intriguing thing about the book is when you take the book cover off, the actual book is green right! Well on that green book is a bird, and if you read the book you'll know that Ingrid's (the best friend that committed suicide) journal has a bird on it. So it feels like Ingrid's journal, and that is a big part of the story. Also it shows Caitlin sadness and acceptance of loss through seasons in the book. I don't really have much to say, but that I highly recommend this to anyone. It's one of those stories that when read, you know that if something bad is happening in your life it'll be ok. You won't be able to read this one sitting, seeing as at times it's just to hard to read.
What I thought could of been improved..... I thought the ending could of been improved. It wasn't terrible or anything, just not how I imagine it to end. I also would of like to know more of Henry's story. I felt that was kind of cut short.
In All.... A well done book, that is highly recommended to everyone.

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After her best friend’s suicide, Caitlin is devastated. She struggles with school, where her photography teacher – whom she thought would be her greatest supporter – is ignoring her. Then she finds Ingrid’s diary, filled with heartbreak and desire, and Caitlin is both pleased and terrified

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to be entrusted with her last thoughts. As she works to rebuild her life and find new friends, you will be moved irrevocably by Caitlin’s vulnerability and her strength. Unlike so many “issues books” we’ve seen in recent years, Hold Still transcends the genre to make something beautiful out of the grim.

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16-year old Caitlin is still reeling from the suicide of her best friend, Ingrid, when school starts and she has to face seeing her peers and teachers who also knew Ingrid. She finds Ingrid's diary hidden under her own bed and portions out reading entries day by day to make the most of the only new

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things she will ever be able to discover about her friend. She uses art and the new relationships that spring up in the wake of this tragedy to understand and come to terms with Ingrid's death.

I found Hold Still somewhat predictable. The instant it was revealed that Caitlin was into photography and her dad gave her a pile of lumber, I knew that these two things would play an important, symbolic role in her healing. Every person she was introduced to was clearly going to play some role as well. And they did. It was tied up too neatly in the end.

That's not to say there was nothing to enjoy about this book. It was well-written and about an important topic, one that unfortunately may be relevant to many teens. I would not hesitate to recommend it to girls looking for a sad read. I could see them enjoying it a lot, as they probably haven't read so many books that follow a similar trajectory.

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It was a good story line, however, the major down fall to this book was the fact that it seemed forever for me to finish it because I just couldn't get into it...

Caitlin is beginning her junior year in high school - but she's definitely suffering from much more than beginning-of-the-year jitters. Everything is different for Caitlin this year - her best friend Ingrid is no longer there - she committed suicide and now Caitlin is left reeling from the

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aftershock and trying to come to terms with the loss of her closest friend.

Not only is Caitlin suffering emotionally, but everyone around her is also affected by her unexpected death. Ms. Delani, the photography teacher, seems to be giving Caitlin the cold shoulder and being overly critical of her work. The kids at school are walking on eggshells around her. Even her parents are concerned over the way she's acting (she's been spending long periods of time in her car parked out front of her house).

Then she finds Ingrid's journal. A journal that Ingrid carried with her at all times of the day and that Caitlin's sure will have all the answers as to why her friend would resort to suicide. Caitlin makes a pact to read one entry a day in the hopes of finding answers... but instead she finds so much more.

I've been wanting to read this book for a while now, but I've been holding off because I knew this story was going to have me on an emotional roller coaster. I must admit that I am pretty impressed with the way Ms. LaCour was able to capture Caitlin's grief in a way where she makes it YOUR grief. From the moment you open to its first page until you read it's last sentence, you are on a journey with Caitlin - a journey to find a way of coping and living without someone you love. It's a journey that is heartbreaking, emotional, thoughtful, even painful ... one that will bring tears to your eyes, but will also leave you feeling hopeful and lighthearted.

This story is beautifully executed - it captures all aspects of adolesence and brings them into perspective. The characters were captivating. The story was emotional, raw, powerful. It definitely resonated with me and will not be quickly forgotten.

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After her best friend Ingrid commits suicide, Caitlin isn't sure how life can go on. Refusing to go to therapy and feeling alone in the world now, Hold Still follows Caitlin as she begins trudging her way through the world.

After finding Ingrid's journal, a tale not only of Ingrid's descent but also

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something that might just help Caitilin, meeting someone who could be a new friend, and discovering that she can talk to people--that they're also grieving Ingrid's death (maybe not in the same way, but in some way), Caitlin beings to heal.

Hold Still is a beautifully written book told using a narrative that follows Caitilin through her struggle to recover and find a new life and with journal entries (sometimes in the form of letters) and drawings from Ingrid. From the very first page I felt a connection to Caitlin and the pain she was in. A part of this might have been that I read this very soon (within a month or so) of a friend of mine dying, but I also believe it was a testament to Nina LaCour's strong talent. My friend did not die from suicide but I was still very much able to understand what Caitlin was going through and her need for a 'why.' I can only imagine that understanding/connection would be even stronger for someone who has lost someone to suicide.

That the reader can identify with both Ingrid and Caitlin's pain in Hold Still and understand where both characters are coming from says a lot about what a strongly written book it is--and how painful it can be to read. LaCour's book really shows the lasting pain felt by those that are 'left behind' when someone takes their own life. It's told over the course of about a year so it's not a quick fix, nor does it leave the characters hanging, it truly moves Caitlin through the process of her best friend suddenly dying and also gradually lets the reader know why/how Ingrid was so depressed that she did commit suicide.

(I didn't review this sooner because I really wanted to include this quote--it's from pg. 185 so if you want to skip it you can--but I think it's both beautiful and shows Ingrid's depression: '...But now not even the laughing feels good.' I think the quote (and the rest of the sentence/few around it, really encapsulate Ingrid's pain so, so well that you can truly feel it right there. [I had to get the book from the library and then find the quote--and I was a slowpoke.:])

It's a book that support/counseling groups should, I believe, consider using because there's not one bit of it that seems to blame anyone for anything. It's not flowery by any means and it's not an after school special but it's real and it's painful and it's true.

I sincerely hope Nina LaCour writes another book because this one was gorgeous (and not just aesthetically).

10/10

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Hold Still focuses on main character Caitlin and her journey through a dark depression over the loss of her best friend Ingrid to suicide. As a reader we only see Ingrid through Caitlin’s memories as she tries to build a new life that doesn’t surround the constant pull of thoughts surrounding

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Ingrid's death.

With the sorrow comes confusion, most of the time while Caitlin is sad she can’t figure out why Ingrid did this, or why she didn’t see it- the guilt she feels over not helping Ingrid is…heartbreaking…..a few months into the death, Caitlin finds one of Ingrid’s old journals stuffed under her bed. As she begins to read Ingrid’s thoughts and see’s what was inside her mind, Caitlin slowly begins to learn the truth of the deep sadness that plagued Ingrid. Caitlin also realizes that she really didn’t know her friend at all and struggles with moving on, because she places so much of the blame on herself. Getting past the guilt Caitlin has so many questions.....Why? Ingrid’s gone, but is ok to still live and be happy? Is it ok to have a new friend, a boyfriend?

The journey out of grief is a hard one for Caitlin, and I know many readers out there who won’t read books about suicide because of the sadness, but LaCour brings her book full circle and just at the right times, she pulls the reader out of the pain and has us laughing on swings. Her writing is beautiful and sends powerful messages within its simplicity. Although painful to look into the mind of her dead friend, reading Ingrid’s journal ultimately brings healing to Caitlin’s heart.............( A sad, hopeful beautiful journey..........)

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Caitlin has been lost since her best friend Ingrid committed suicide. Now she has to go back to school after summer and face their classmates, and the one person she thought would help her through, her photography teacher, completely ignores her. When she finds Ingrid's journal, she thinks she

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might find some answers. As the story unfolds, Caitlin begins to make new friends and form new relationships, and may be able to put Ingrid to reat.

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This book is really, really good. I didn't give it five stars because it didn't completely blow my mind the way something like Jellicoe Road did, but it's a quality book. I might have given it four and a half stars if that were an option.

One thing I LOVED about this book is that the main

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character, Caitlin, is a photographer, but she's also a carpenter. How often do you see that in YA books, especially in girls? So many characters are artists or writers, but building things is a rare hobby in YA girls. I loved seeing that represented.

This book also has a great lesbian character. The fact that she's gay is just a fact about her. It never becomes a problem or an issue, aside from some teasing by the other kids at the school. Books about GLBTQ issues are certainly necessary and there are some quality ones out there, but books that just have GLBTQ characters in them are equally important.

Sometimes I find suicide in YA books boring, because I feel like it's been done to death, no pun intended. But this book, about those left behind in the aftermath of a suicide, is compelling and quietly beautiful. I never felt like any part of it was unrealistic or a stretch to believe. It all just felt natural. Highly recommended.

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Going into this book I wasn't really sure what to expect. I mean, yeah, I'd seen some good things about it here and there, but I hadn't seen anything that made me think that I was starting such a spectacular novel! Hold Still is one of the best books I've read this year. The heart break of the

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beginning, the hopefulness of the end...it's just beautiful.

Caitlin is pretty messed up after her best friend Ingrid commits suicide. She blames herself, she grieves the loss of Ingrid's phenomenal talent, and, most of all, grieves the loss of her best friend. Her other half. The girl that she shared everything with. It really is heartbreaking.

Then, little by little she starts to heal. What helps is Ingrid's journal, which she finds under her bed. We get to read it right along with Caitlin, see the drawings and Ingrid's handwriting. It's really cool to be able to see a picture that's referenced in the book.

I really liked that Caitlin's new friend Dylan is a lesbian, but who cares? No big deal. There were a lot of things like that in here that made this book just so awesome.

The whole book I was rooting for Caitlin, cheering her on as she overcame obstacles and built new relationships. It got to a point where I physically couldn't put it down. I really liked it, and I'm sure that you will too.

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Every once in a while, you read a piece of literature that's told in such a unique way that it ceases to be merely a book and is transformed into a piece of art. Hold Still is one of those amazing books. The story isn't just told, but is brought to life by the voice of Caitlin, the narrator,

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Ingrid's (Caitlin's best friend) diary entries, and also Ingrid's drawings.

Hold Still tells the story of how Caitlin tries to recover after her best friend, Ingrid commits suicide. Plagued with guilt, Cailtin tries to pick up the pieces that Ingrid left behind armed with Ingrid's journal. I can try to sum it up as best as I can, but it still wouldn't do the book any justice. The author's words are just so vivid that it feels like you're right there, experiencing the isolation and pain that Caitlin herself is feeling, only you're helpless to stop it (it being a book/work of art and all).

I found Caitlin's pain to be extremely real and I was in tears with the way Ingrid's death not only affected her, but affected her parents who felt that when Ingrid died, so did Caitlin. It was also heartbreaking to read Ingrid's journal entries and see how much pain she was in herself. Yet one thing that I loved about this book was that there wasn't anything left to unravel, in regards to Ingrid. She killed herself. There was no clear reason why Ingrid did what she did, besides the fact that she was sad and felt like she had no other way out. Some fiction books that deal with the subject of suicide will plug something in towards the end, so that the readers can have this sort of "A-hah!" moment; the person was abused, the person was rejected. But the way that Nina LaCour wrote it made Hold Still more realistic because more often than not, there is no clear reason why someone kills themselves. Sometimes people are just depressed and there is no hidden meaning to it. You feel what you feel and it's just not logical.

This book wasn't so much about suicide as it was about healing; about redemption. It was bittersweet in that while we don't get to see a road of recovery for Ingrid, we get to see Caitlin try to accept this and move on with her life. Hold Still was an uplifting novel that shows that there are a lot of problems that we can overcome and that we shouldn't feel guilty when we do. Armed with beautiful writing and amazing drawings, Nina LaCour has written a book that will make you cry, yes, but won't leave you utterly depressed at the state of the world in the end.

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I was wondering if this book was going to be depressing. It wasn’t. The story begins after Ingrid’s death and while Ingrid plays an integral role in the story, it’s more about Caitlin grieving and coping with the loss of her best friend. I think that Caitlin comes to find that she can be her

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own person who’s completely different than Ingrid. She can understand Ingrid’s pain without feeling responsible for it. And ultimately, that she deserves happiness out of life. One of my favorite parts was where Caitlin after an encounter with a homeless man on the street considers this: “Instead, I imagine what would happen if everyone turned their regrets into wishes, went around shouting them. Signal lights would change at intersections, and as the people on opposite sides of the street stepped off the curbs, the would call to one another – Finish college! Exercise at least three times a week! Never start smoking! Tell your mother you love her! Wear a condom! Make peace with your brother! Don’t sign anything before you’ve met with a lawyer! Take your dog to the park! Keep in touch with your friends!”
It got me to thinking about how cool that would be. Okay, initially embarrassing, but ultimately very cool. This was a great story of healing and a journey of self-discovery, and ultimately the story of caring about someone with mental illness. The cover was pretty and interesting with the drawings on the inside.

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An arresting story about starting over after a friend’s suicide, from a breakthrough new voice in YA fiction.

dear caitlin, there are so many things that i want so badly to tell you but i just can’t.

Devastating, hopeful, hopeless, playful . . . in words and illustrations, Ingrid left behind a

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painful farewell in her journal for Caitlin. Now Caitlin is left alone, by loss and by choice, struggling to find renewed hope in the wake of her best friend’s suicide. With the help of family and newfound friends, Caitlin will encounter first love, broaden her horizons, and start to realize that true friendship didn’t die with Ingrid. And the journal which once seemed only to chronicle Ingrid’s descent into depression, becomes the tool by which Caitlin once again reaches out to all those who loved Ingrid—and Caitlin herself.

My Thoughts:

Hold Still it another one of those powerful novel about loss, love,and hope for a fresh start after her friend's suicide.Iwas super excited when i got Hold Still.I know it's probably really hard to express feelings about suicide, but LaCour did an awesome job. I was impressed with how she portrayed Caitlin's grief, pain, regret and all the other feelings that someone feels when someone they know commits suicide. I know this girl, it still shocks me today, I sat by her in my math class, but we never talked. Show shot herself. I don't really know why. But i was pretty much freaked out about death. She's not going to be in the hallways talking to her friends or sitting in the boring Geometry class.

Any ways I really liked how LaCour put all of these emotions into Caitlin's journey to heal/mourn and find herself a in new place in life. I don't know what i would do without my BFF. Her journey was so real.Caitlin is real, to me.....I would do the same thing if I was her.From Caitlin isolating herself, to trying to find someone to comfort her, to someone to befriend, to expressing herself through art. Though some pieces of the story were kind of slow the plot keeps you interested. It had pictures in it too, I liked that about the book. It also had some diary entries from Ingrid.

Overall I found myself glued to this book from start to finish It was gripping, personal, and at times excruciatingly emotional. This book is all about taking responsibility for your life even as it falls apart around you, learning to love yourself for who you are, learning how to channel your grief productively (versus destructively), and realizing that despite it all, life continues to flow around you and there is still good in the world.

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Heartbreaking and hopeful debut novel by Nina LaCour.

There are no words to do justice to how much of an amazingly gorgeous book Hold Still is. Heartbreakingly beautiful, and almost lyrical, it’s a powerful read that took hold of my heartstrings and never let go.

To be honest, there’s nothing special about the plot. Caitlin’s best friend commits

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suicide and now she’s trying to reel in her grief and figure out why. Before I opened this book, I was thinking “I’ve already this book. Again and again and again,” because it’s kind of common in YA. And if I could kick my own ass, I would. It doesn’t matter if the plot isn’t extravagantly different, Hold Still manages to pull away and distance itself from the rest with its complex characters and gorgeous detail to emotion. Seriously. I just wanted to reach into the pages and give Caitlin a huge bear hug.

Something that really added to the story were the hand-written letters and sketches from Ingrid’s journal. If the letters and entries would’ve been typed, the book would’ve lost some its charm. They really helped make the novel come to life.

This wasn’t a very articulate review, so forgive me, but like I said, it’s hard to put into words how I felt about this novel. It’s impacting, engaging, gorgeously written, beautifully crafted …I could go on for days. Just take my word and pick this one up! It’s an older release, but the search will be so worth it!

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Ingrid and Caitlin are inseparable best friends, but that all changes when Ingrid suddenly commits suicide and Caitlin is left all alone, lost, and completely confused as to why Ingrid killed herself. When Ingrid’s journal is found, Caitlin has the opportunity to try to learn about a side of her

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best friend that she never really knew. The journal helps Caitlin deal with her pain as she tries to go on through life without her best friend by her side. I really enjoyed this book. It was incredibly sad and depressing, but yet beautifully written. It really made me think about what people may be going through, behind the scenes. The writing style was interesting, as it included many journal entries from Ingrid’s journal, and helped the reader to really become engrossed in the story.

Breanne R.

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Imagine if your friend died without saying goodbye? The book Hold Still by Nina Lacour tells a beautiful story about two best friend having natural dreams on being photographers. Caitlin,the main character has a best friend named Ingrid that killed herself just when school was going to end. Caitlin

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was really confused on why her best friend suicide herself. At first Caitlin went into a grief that closed her from the world, she went days and days of depressing moments.At las she went on a research on finding answers on why her friend had done such a thing. On her journey on finding clues she came upon her best friend's bedroom. On the side of the bed stood Ingrid's journal. When she finds Ingrid's journal she begins on understanding why her best friend ended her life. She thought this journal would have brought her answers but instead brought more questions than answers. Although she wasn't expecting to find out what her friend really thought of her, she did end up meeting her first true love. This book is a noval with a theme that relates to the book's name Hold Still. This was the first year Caitlin had ever been without her best friend Ingrid, and was the hardest year for her. At the end Caitlin is strong enough to over come everything Ingrid's journal says and tell her.

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Hold Still is a YA novel about a girl who is dealing with the suicide of her best friend. The protagonist is a senior in high school, and her best friend has just committed suicide. She is wracked with anger, confusion, and guilt—especially since she was so close to the girl. She ends up finding

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her best friend’s journal under her bed. She is so upset, that it takes her a few days to open it. Then she only reads a little bit at a time, because it is all she can handle.

This heartfelt novel is appropriate for high school students. It has some bad language and a few sexual situations. The novel is very realistic, and students (or anyone for that matter) can easily relate to the protagonist. This is an important book to include in a high school library collection, because it deals with the issue of suicide and all the emotional trauma that goes with it. This book illustrates how a suicide can affect family, friends, and acquaintances. This is a book of emotional healing.

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This was a powerful story. It kept me up at night .Suicide has such a rippling effect and the survivors stories can be just as devastating. As a parent and teacher I always worry that I'll miss the signs. This books weighs heavy on my heart.

When Caitlin's best friend, Ingird, commits suicide Caitlin is confusing and hurt. What could Caitlin have done differently to help Ingrid and keep her from ending her life? Caitlin stumbles through life, but after discovering Ingrid's journal she begins to unravel the mystery of her life and

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death. This book is extremely moving and leads the reader through the incredibly intimate journey through which Caitlin comes to understand her life and Ingrid's life and death. Sprinkled with everyday adolescent situations (liking a boy but not knowing how to go about communicating that to him, making a new friend and then losing her) the characters never veer into cliche and Caitlin's actions are believable and authentic. Caitlin's journey to healing is profound but never heavy-handed or theatric. Truly an outstanding book-would be a wonderful companion read to By the Time Your Read This I'll be Dead by Julie Ann Peters.

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